[Toy Review] The Tot Bodee Vibrator

Horny Geek Girl practically threw this toy at me at the #LubeAndALaptop meet last month, with a “please take this and review it!!” Well, how could I say no to that?

The Tot Bodee vibrator, a bright pink toy that looks a bit like a sperm in shape

The Bodee Vibrator is a small (less than 4″ long) rechargeable pink vibe with a small flexible tail that also vibrates. Its main selling point is that it can be hooked up via Bluetooth to a special app and then controlled via Smartphone by either the wearer or whoever else they decide to hand the control to. At least in theory, there’s some pretty cool sex-tech goodness going on here. In practice… meh.

What I didn’t love

The Bodee is sold as a G-spot vibe but, to be completely honest, I found it too small and not curved in the right way to hit my G-spot in any meaningful way. The tail is, I think, intended to stimulate the clit while the main body of the toy is inserted into the vagina. Unfortunately the tail was too short and too flimsy for this to work.

It’s also too loud to realistically wear while out in public, which probably removes a good deal of the “hands free, app controlled” appeal for the more adventurous among us. And it’s tiny, which I take issue with when they’re selling it as an internal toy. I’m not a size queen by any means, but this thing was way too small to do anything much internally. If you’re using it as a clit stimulator (read on,) the size isn’t an issue.

However…

When I repurposed it as a clitoral stimulator (which I am often wont to do,) it was suddenly quite effective. It comes with six different patterns which you control through the app (or you can scroll through with the button on the top if you’re not connected into the app) and – I LOVE this – you can literally design your own vibration pattern with the app’s “custom” feature. Seriously cool.

My overwhelming reaction to this toy is “cool concept with some good points, but needs work”. Read on to find out why.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
The only retailer I could find that ships this toy to the UK was Deals Machine which seems to be a wholesalers of some description. The toy sells there for £28.29 for one (as with most wholesalers, the price per unit goes down if for some reason you decide you want 50 vibrators) which is a really fantastic price for the quality of product.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s silicone with a matte finish, meaning it’s soft and lovely to the touch and also completely body-safe. As always, use water-based lube for silicone toys.

Appearance: ★★★
It’s BRIGHT pink (seriously, the picture does not do justice to how pink this thing is) and not available in any other colours, which gets a mark down from me. I’m just so sick of pink pink pink everywhere in sex toys for people with vulvas. On the plus side, it’s small and cute (good for people who feel threatened by or nervous of larger toys) and the shape sort of reminds me of a sperm, which I have nothing but slightly giggly respect for.

Ease of Use: ★★
The Bodee is small and very light, making it gentle on the hands and wrists. However, the tail is the bit you’re going to be realistically using as a handle if you’re thrusting with it or using it as a clit stimulator, and said tail is just a little too small and flimsy to be up to the task. The vibe comes with a little instruction booklet that explains setting up the app, which really couldn’t be easier. You literally download it, turn on the toy and your Bluetooth, they sync up, and you’re good to go. The app itself, once you’re in, is really self explanatory.

Unfortunately, I’ve had to give a lower score that I’d like to here because A) the main website is all in Chinese with no translate option, so finding more details or troubleshooting is really hard, and B) the app sometimes crashes for no reason – it did this maybe 3 times in a half hour play session.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The shape and smooth silicone surface mean it’s easy to clean down with a sterile wipe. In theory, it’s waterproof, but I’m not sure to what extent I’d trust that. The “resealing” charging hole doesn’t close as well as I’d like it to. I wouldn’t submerge it fully in water, personally. Could be popped into a condom or used with another barrier for safer sex reasons if you’re sharing it.

Versatility: ★★★★
Versatility is really where the Bodee shines. This toy has a LOT of settings – and the amazing, amazing, AMAZING feature of being able to design your own pattern of vibrations. As above, it says waterproof but looking at the charging hole, I don’t fully trust that claim. It’d be great to hear from someone who has, though – let me know if you’ve tried this. I don’t much care as I don’t wank in the bath anyway. I found it only worked for clitoral stimulation but it might work internally for some people. Not suitable for anal use.

Intensity: ★★★★
The vibrations were definitely a little buzzy, but not horribly so. They went deep enough to get me off, though it took a while. They were pretty strong for such a small toy, which is more than I was expecting. The Bodee also didn’t have that annoying tingling/itching effect that some buzzy vibes have.

Overall Score: ★★★
A great idea for a “toy with a difference” that is at least partially well-realised. There are some pretty significant flaws that prevent me from giving the Bodee a higher score. It definitely wouldn’t be a top recommendation for someone looking for a clitoral or G-spot toy. Great inexpensive way to experiment if you like the idea of Bluetooth or app-controlled vibes, and potentially great for D/s play – the opportunities if you hand the controls off to your partner are endless. I hope they come out with a second generation version that addresses some of the issues.

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