[Toy Review] The Zumio

As a lover of intense clitoral stimulation, I’ve wanted a Zumio ever since I first learned about them. But they’ve always been in the category of toys I would never buy at full price –  they’re expensive and I had no idea if they would actually work for me.

The Zumio, for those who don’t know, is a new type of clitoral stimulator. It looks a bit like a purple electric toothbrush, and has a very thin, plastic rod tip – known as a SpiroTIP – which “whirls around in tiny circles”. It’s designed to mimic the movement of a finger circling the clit, only… more, faster and harder. Observe:

The Zumio, a purple sex toy with a small plastic tip. Shaped a bit like a toothbrush.Anyone who has been reading my work for any length of time knows that I am frequently annoyed by sex toy marketing claims. Zumio created some waves in the blogosphere by claiming that this toy will make a person with a clitoris come in 60 seconds or less. Dangerous Lilly, blogger and reviewer extraordinaire, has covered in detail why this is problematic, so I don’t feel a need to go into it in depth. However, I will admit to really hoping this toy would finally be the answer to getting me off clitorally very quickly… and being disappointed/wondering if I’m “broken” when it inevitably didn’t.

But let’s back up a minute and take a closer look…

The Zumio is made of ABS plastic and silicone. The bit that makes direct contact with the body is plastic. Therefore it’s body safe, non-porous and non-toxic. It also happens to be waterproof, if wanking in the bath or shower is your thing. It’s charged via USB and comes with a little charging stand that makes it remind me even more of a toothbrush.

The user interface is 3 simple buttons – an on/off switch, one to turn the speed up, and one to turn the speed down. There are 8 speed settings in total, and no “patterns” or any of that silliness. (I hate patterns).

The Zumio retails for £134.99. It’s an expensive product, so I recommend buying from a retailer with a solid returns policy in case it doesn’t work for you. (Lovehoney are great in this regard).

My Experience…

The Zumio is about as pinpoint as pinpoint stimulation can get. The tip is also hard. For that reason, I was nervous – direct contact to my clit is often too intense and painful for me. Even so, I dove in and started off on the lowest setting. I quickly discovered that my suspicions were correct. Even on the lowest setting, the hard plastic tip against my clit was intense to the point of painful.

No matter – that problem was solved by putting my knickers back on and using the toy through my panties. I don’t do this with any other toy (except very occasionally the Doxy 3) because I need a lot of stimulation to come. Through the underwear, I found this toy much more enjoyable and that was how I eventually got off with it. If you try it and it’s too intense, try with a layer of clothing between the tip and your clit.

Contrary to what is apparently the more common experience, Zumio is a slow-build toy for me. If I’ve got an hour or more to spend slowly teasing myself, ramping up through the speeds one at a time, and toeing the line between “so intense it’s blissful” and “so intense it’s painful,” the orgasm at the end of it is delicious. But pretty much the only thing that can get me off quickly is wands, so I might not be the person to trust on “quickness of orgasm” factors. All bodies are so different.

Care and Clean-Up

The Zumio comes with a little drawstring storage bag, big enough to fit the toy, docking stand and charging cable, which I appreciated. All sex toys should come with storage bags and so few do. Given how thin the tip is, I’m a bit nervous about it getting broken in storage. Be careful with how you store this toy – you probably don’t want to throw other things on top of it.

Clean-up is a pinch. The Zumio is waterproof, so you can wash it thoroughly with warm soapy water. You can also wipe the tip clean with a body-safe sterile wipe (I get mine in bulk from medical suppliers – much cheaper than toy cleaner).

You can’t use a condom with it, though you could use a barrier like a dam. But the easiest thing to do if you want to share it between partners is just to thoroughly clean the tip between users.

Do I recommend it?

Honestly, I personally loved it less than I was hoping I would. That doesn’t mean I don’t recommend it – I just recommend it to a very specific subset of people.

If you like extremely pinpoint clitoral stimulation, you’ll probably love it. But if you’re into broader stimulation it’s probably not for you. If you have a clit that likes very intense, very direct stimulation, Zumio’s got you covered.

Zumio is a genuinely innovative toy and different to anything else on the market. For that, it is certainly to be commended. So many toy companies claim to be innovative, and so few actually are.

You can buy your Zumio from Lovehoney or SheVibe.

Thanks to the good folks of Zumio for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. As always, all opinions are entirely my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

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