[Toy Review] Luxe Madonna Straight Seven Vibrator

[Update 31/10/23: this toy has been discontinued. Dead links have been removed but I’ve left the review up for reference.]

Peepshow Toys, one of my newest affiliates, already have a track record of sending me great products to review. Did you know that EVERYTHING they stock is body-safe, too? This means not only that the toys are free from phthalates and other toxic components, but also that everything is non-porous and the lubes they stock don’t contain nasty ingredients. Basically, you can buy with confidence.

Also feat. the most “me” notebook ever to exist.

Let’s meet Madonna…

The Luxe Collection Madonna, by NS Novelties, came in my latest shipment. It’s a straight insertable vibrator of 6.9″ in total length (about 6.5″ insertable). It’s round at the base and then flares into a slightly wider, gently ridged hexagonal shaft, ending in a smooth pointed tip. The Madonna is rechargeable via USB connection to a magnetic charging port on the base. It is fully waterproof, and comes with a storage pouch. I really appreciate when companies include storage bags with their toys and wish more would do so.

This toy is available in two colours, pink and purple. I’m not a fan of pink toys – there are too many of them, and to be they play too much into stereotypical narratives about femininity and “what women want”.

The Madonna retails for $59.95, which puts it squarely into the bracket of a mid-priced toy. It’s reasonably priced for the quality.

Body-safe and condom-compatible

The Madonna is covered in smooth silicone, which is soft to the touch as well as non-porous and body-safe. Cleaning this toy is a breeze as it’s waterproof – just use warm water and gentle soap, and/or a body-safe sterile wipe. As the toy is seamless and smooth, there is nowhere for bacteria or nasties to hide.

The shape of this toy makes it condom-compatible, too, so if you’re sharing it without sterilising it first you can just pop a barrier over it for safety. As ever, I recommend a good quality water-based lube.

The Madonna does not have a flared base, and is therefore NOT anal-safe. Please do not ever put something inside your ass that doesn’t have a flared base or long handle, as it could get lost. At best, this is embarrassing and painful, and at worst it’s a serious emergency. Please just don’t take the risk. There are so many fabulous anal-specific toys to use.

In use…

As you’ll probably know by now, my G-spot does NOT like vibrations. I have stopped even testing vibrating toys against my inside bits, because there is simply no point – they won’t work for me and I cannot report on their merits with any objectivity. I did try inserting this toy with it switched off, but the texture and ridges of the shaft did not work for me. You’ll want to bear this in mind if you were considering this toy for internal use. Some people love ridges, bumps and textures, but for others they can be seriously uncomfortable.

However, where the Madonna really came into its own for me was – you guessed it – as a clitoral vibrator. As soon as I turned the Madonna on, I was surprised by the strength of the vibrations. Even in my hand, they felt extremely strong. It boasts three constant speeds and four patterns, and each one offers powerful and rumbly vibrations. This toy, paired with some of my favourite smut, quickly brought me to a deep and satisfying climax. I was even able to get some pleasure from the patterns, which are often a complete waste of time for me! I also didn’t get any of the horrible numbness or tingling that so often accompanies buzzy vibrations.

The pinpoint tip of this toy is really nice for precise stimulation. If you prefer broader or less focused vibration, laying the length of it across your vulva and clit is also extremely effective.

The Madonna operates via a simple one-button interface. You hold this button down to turn the toy on, press once to cycle through the patterns, and hold it down again to switch off. I do prefer toy interfaces where you can scroll both ways through the patterns and speeds (i.e. turning down as well as up). It’s reasonably quiet in use – if I switch it on in my bedroom, I can slightly hear it from outside the room with the door closed, but I cannot hear it at all in the next room.

Do I recommend it?

Yes, if… you’re looking for a rumbly vibrator for clitoral stimulation – or something for internal stimulation and you like textured or ridged toys.

I have to admit that I wasn’t expecting much from this one. Perhaps this is my bias showing, but I internally went “oh, another vaguely phallic-shaped generic vibrator with crappy power. Yawn”. But simple can sometimes be effective, if done well, and I’m really pleasantly surprised by the functionality of this toy. The level of power and the versatility between pinpoint and broader stimulation are the real selling points for me. Go get yours!

Thank you to Peepshow for sending me the Luxe Madonna Straight Seven vibrator to review. If you purchase through my affiliate links, I make a small commission. As ever, all views are my own.

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