[Toy Review] Lovehoney “Positive Vibes” Vibrators

I get a *lot* of requests for affordable yet good quality vibrators from folks on a limited budget. Unfortunately, it can be quite hard to find safe toys, strong vibrations and an affordable price-tag for a lot of people. The vast majority of the toys I own I wouldn’t have been able to afford if I hadn’t been given them to review. That’s why I’m so pleased about Lovehoney’s new Positive Vibes range!

Lovehoney's Positive Vibes banner showing 4 colourful vibrators and the words "Positive Vibes - Be Sextraordinary"

Positive Vibes is a range of 4 vibrators. Each one has a different “look,” but otherwise they’re functionally identical, hence reviewing them as a range. I have two – the Rainbow design and the “I only fuck with magic” design.

Two Positive Vibes vibrators lying side by side on my desk.I loved these toys straight away for how fun and quirky they are. Seriously, HOW CUTE is that rainbow pattern? I don’t love the “Vibes Before Guys”personally (I have FEELINGS about anything that compares sex toys to partners, inadvertently or otherwise) – but I can see it as being a potentially empowering slogan for, say, a woman coming to appreciate her singleness or someone just out of a relationship and learning to embrace their own sexuality. All the designs totally appeal to my #SparkleFemme aesthetic (except for “fuck with magic,” which takes me back to my goth days in the best possible way).

A closer look…

Two Positive Vibes vibrators standing side by side on my desk.Positive Vibes come packaged in really cute sleeves with night sky designs on them. As always, Lovehoney send everything in discreet plain brown boxes.

Positive Vibes are made of ABS plastic. Therefore they’re rigid, but also really smooth to the touch. Perfect for people who like harder materials – the advantage of plastic over softer materials like silicone is that it doesn’t dampen vibrations at all. They operate from two ‘C’ batteries (not included) which you insert by twisting off the base. The insertable length is 6.5″ and the circumference is 4.2″ (making a diameter of 1.3″).

The user interface is simple: a single twist mechanism at the base which turns the intensity of vibrations up and down. Being so finely graded means you can easily select the exact level of stimulation that suits you. (Is anyone surprised that for me it was “the highest one”?)

In use…

Okay, the vibrations on these babies was a really pleasant surprise. I usually don’t expect much from cheaper vibes in terms of vibration quality/strength. But as soon as I turned this on in my hand, I was impressed by the strength – and not just the strength, but the rumble, too! The vibrations are deep, penetrating and really satisfying – none of that horrible surface buzz you often get in lower-priced toys.

I don’t like vibrations on my G-spot, so I use these vibrators entirely externally for clitoral stimulation. Your mileage may vary, of course, and they’re safe for internal play if that’s your jam. Please don’t use them for anal play, though, as they don’t have a flared base! For clitoral play, I really enjoyed the gently tapered tip, ideal for pinpoint stimulation. If you like broader stimulation, though, it also feels good with the shaft held flat against the clit and vulva.

Noise-wise, they’re reasonable for the level of power. I doubt you’d hear it through a closed door or a wall unless it was really paper-thin. A pro tip from Lovehoney’s site: when you insert the batteries, leave the plastic sleeve provided in (around the batteries). Taking it out, as I did initially, makes it a lot more rattly and therefore louder.

Care and cleaning…

Positive Vibes are not waterproof, so you can’t submerge them to clean them. (And please don’t try to use them in the bath!) They’re splashproof, though, and ABS is non-porous, making them easy to clean. Wipe carefully with a warm wet cloth and some mild soap, or use a sterile body-safe medical wipe. I buy these from medical suppliers really cheaply. Being non-porous, the toys shouldn’t harbour any bacteria as long as you clean them after each use, but if you’re sharing them and want to be extra careful, they’re the ideal shape to pop a condom over.

Value for money… 

A really good, simple vibrator. Positive Vibes retail at £16.99, though they’re currently on a special offer where you can get two for £20.

So do I recommend it?

Yes, absolutely. If you’re looking for decent rumbly vibrations on a budget, Positive Vibes has got you covered. One of the best toys for this price-point I’ve ever tried.

Image result for four and a half star rating

Ideal for: those on a budget; fans of rumbly vibrations; fans of harder materials; anyone who likes quirky, fun designs on their toys.

My left hand - 3 nails have purple sparkly polish and the ring finger has a blue sky and Rainbow design like on the Positive Vibes toy.[I got my nails done at the Positive Vibes launch party! How cute are these? Thanks to Jessica at Wah Nails, Soho, for the lovely work.]

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me these toys for review! LH links in this post are affiliate links and if you buy from them, I make a small commission. All opinions are, as ever, my own. All images are taken and owned by me, except the top banner ad which is property of Lovehoney. Images not to be reproduced without permission.

[Toy Review] Magic Wand Original AKA “The Hitachi”

Yep, I finally got my hands on one of these! I’m currently working on a wand vibrators comparison piece and I didn’t feel right in doing this without trying, as it’s so often described, ‘The Cadillac of Vibrators’. Thanks to my contact at TooTimid for hooking me up with this product, which is notoriously hard to come by in the UK.

The Magic Wand Original, previously known as the Hitachi Magic Wand or simply the Hitachi, is the toy that started it all when it comes to wand-style massagers. Originally sold as a ‘personal massager’ for sore muscles, it was Betty Dodson – masturbation connoisseur and vibrator peddler extraordinaire – who popularised the Magic Wand as a tool for masturbation. Since then, there have been countless copycats and imitations, plenty of them terrible and some of them even unsafe. But the Magic Wand still reigns supreme as the most famous and sought-after vibrator of them all.

The Hitachi Magic Wand Original, lying on a blue notebook covered in bi pride stickers.

Okay, enough with the history lesson. Let’s look at the product.

The Magic Wand Original comes packaged in a simple blue and white box with a picture of the product on the outside. This has changed remarkably little from the original packaging of the 1960s, except that the ‘Hitachi’ name has been removed. (The company removed their name from the product in 2013, though continued to manufacture it after persuasion from distributor Vibratex).

The wand is 12 inches long in total and weighs 540g. This puts it on the heavier side which might not be accessible or easily usable for everyone. I didn’t struggle with it in this regard, but I’m able-bodied. If you struggle to hold heavy things or have a condition such as arthritis, you may want to take the weight and size of the thing into account. A good option for those who want to use a powerful wand but struggle to hold or manipulate it is to use a wand mount such as those made by Liberator.


The body is made of plastic, and the head appears to be PVC, though some retailers list it as TPE. Either way, the material is unlikely to be toxic but is somewhat porous. This means it will harbour bacteria and is impossible to truly 100% clean. What this means, in practice, is that your Magic Wand probably won’t last forever. You will also want to use a barrier if you’re going to be sharing it with a partner. STIs can be transmitted via non-sterilised toys! One option is to buy an attachment or a replacement cap such as the Off With Your Head by Vixen, which are silicone and therefore non-porous and truly body-safe.

Also worth mentioning: if you upgrade to the Magic Wand Rechargeable model, the head is silicone.

I’ll say this, it’s powerful as fuck.

The Magic Wand Original has 3 settings: Off, High, and Holy-Fucking-Shit! Yes, if power is what you want, this toy delivers. There are no patterns and no finely graded settings, so if that’s what you need, avoid. But for pure power, it’s a solid bet.  The vibrations felt rumbly and penetrating. Even the lowest setting will be satisfying to all but the greatest of power queens. (Anyone who has met my clitoris will be entirely unsurprised to know that I whacked it onto the Holy-Fucking-Shit setting and left it there until I’d come three or four times). It’s loud, but most wands are. It’s not distractingly loud, from my perspective, but someone in the next room can easily hear it. So bear this in mind if you’ve got roommates/family/kids and are trying to be discreet.

Despite the power, though, I found myself annoyed by the softness of the head and the flexibility of the neck. When I’m playing with a really powerful toy, I want to be able to push it hard against my vulva and feel the vibrations everywhere.  The bendy neck made it difficult to get the level of purchase I really desired. In this regard, it loses out to the Doxy Number 3 with its rigid silicone head and less flexible neck.

User-friendliness and care

The Magic Wand Original is operated by a simple, one button interface which makes it really easy to use. It has to be plugged into the wall, but the cord is a decent 5ft long, so you can use it even if your bed (or wherever you wank, I make no assumptions!) is a ways away from the nearest socket.

When it comes to care and cleaning, this toy – as I mentioned above – is somewhat porous. It’s also not waterproof, so please don’t submerge it to clean (or try to use it in the bath)! I recommend wiping clean with a body-safe sterile medical wipe, using a condom if you’re sharing it, and considering investing in a silicone cap or attachment like those linked above.

So is it worth the hype/money?

The Magic Wand Original tends to retail for between $80 and $120 depending on the retailer. I’m going to say my verdict is a qualified “worth it”. It IS a reasonable quality and very powerful toy. However, if you’ve got that amount of money to throw at a wand vibe, the Doxy will always be my first recommendation.

My overwhelming impression from the Magic Wand Original is, “I enjoyed it just fine, but I was less blown away than I hoped/expected to be, given the hype”. I’ve given it 3 and a half stars, it would have been a solid 4 if the head was non-porous.

Image result for three and a half stars

Thanks to TooTimid for sending me this toy to review!  All opinions are, and will always be, my own. You can buy your Magic Wand Original from TooTimid. Some of the links in this post are affiliate links and buying from them supports my work. Enjoyed this review? Buy me a coffee to say thanks!

Picture is by me. Do not steal my images.

Ten Things I Learned at Eroticon

It’s over for another year! Eroticon, the event that changed my life last year (which I drunkenly told Girl on the Net on Saturday night) has been and gone yet again, and WHAT a time it was!

My body in a very sexy PVC catsuit, from Eroticon 2018[Pictured: The Catsuit of Joy.]

1. I’ve been undervaluing myself, financially.

I went to two sessions on making money from blogging, one from Kayla Lords and one from The Sarahs (Sarah Bryn Holliday and Sarah-Jane). Through these amazing sessions and chats with other bloggers I admire, I realised that I’ve been undervaluing my work and not charging enough for what I do. I’m resolving to change this and ask for what I’m worth from now on!

2. Age Verification under the DEB doesn’t apply to written content.

I attended a brilliant session on legal tips for sex bloggers from lawyer Neil Brown. Much of this, unsurprisingly, was focused on the Digital Economy Bill, which may or may not take effect later this year if the government gets its act together and works out what the fuck’s going on with it. Though, of course, throwing the whole thing out would be better!

Turns out at age verification, should it be implemented, will not apply to purely text-based sites. This will be a relief for a lot of us. However, the rules around images will still affect loads of bloggers, and this bill is still utterly horrifying and we should be doing everything in our collective power to get it overturned.

3. Turns out there are circumstances under which loud, crowded bars are fun for me.

And those circumstances involve “three or more sex bloggers” and “copious amounts of wine.”

4. I can say no when I need to and it’s okay.

Being the lucky girl I am, I had two offers of kisses from utterly delightful people whom I would be honoured to make out with. I declined on the basis of having not negotiated spontaneous ‘Con make-outs with Mr CK (note to self: negotiate that next year!!!) The same with a lovely offer to spank a gorgeous arse. On all occasions, everyone was 100% fine with my boundaries and lovely interactions continued!

I wish the same could be said for random dudes in bars who seem to think that a sexy outfit is an invitation to circle back around every 15 minutes or so and try their luck again. Speaking of which…

5. I look DAMN fine in a catsuit

Have you ever walked through a bar full of unsuspecting vanillas in a PVC catsuit, leather ears and high boots? If you haven’t, I recommend it. The glance, followed by the double-take and the head turn, is quite something.

Thank you to all the Eroticon babes who were so complimentary of my slightly OTT but utterly fabulous outfit choice.

6. Podcasting is a blast 

I got to record an episode of Loving BDSM with Kayla and JB, and it was an absolute blast! I had SO MUCH FUN and we laughed so much. And yes, we had coffee while we were doing it.

7. How to give responsible sex advice.

This was the title of a brilliant session I attended run by Meg-John Barker and Justin Hancock, the powerhouse duo behind Enjoy Sex (How When and If You Want To) and their fantastic sex education website.

In this session I learned about self-care when giving advice, about setting boundaries around advice giving, about how to advise someone when the asker is being a dick, and about knowing the limitations of your own expertise and “credentials” (not that such things meaningfully exist in this field). It was SO good and I feel much more confident in my own advice-giving, both on and off this website, as a result.

8. Even the most awesome and accomplished people sometimes feel insecure.

Hearing bloggers and writers and creators I really admire, those who inspire me every day, talk about their own struggles with imposter syndrome and not feeling good enough was weirdly comforting. We’re all a little insecure in our own way. We all occasionally feel like we don’t know what we’re doing. But actually, our work has tremendous value and each of us brings amazing and unique perspectives to the table. Our brains are lying to us. We’re brilliant.

9. I am enough.

Being at Eroticon, and especially hanging out with the of ridiculously awesome people I spent a lot of time with, makes me feel profoundly accepted in a way I’ve rarely experienced anywhere else. It’s okay that I’ve been having a bad mental health time. It’s okay that I haven’t achieved all of my goals yet. I am accepted and I am enough.

10. Your words can change the world

Finishing, as I did last year, with some words of wisdom from Girl on the Net.

Let’s change the world together, babes.

If you’re a reader who would like to support me in continuing to attend events like Eroticon, please consider becoming a Patron, buying me a coffee, or shopping with my affiliates in the right hand sidebar.

If you’re a company who would like to hire me, please email coffeeandkink69 (at) gmail (dot) com and we’ll talk.

Masturbation Monday: “Polish”

A filthy quickie for Masturbation Monday today, inspired by Sub Bee’s kinky boots…

She likes me to polish her boots.

It’s one of the ways I show my service. We go to the club, and she lounges on one of the comfy leather couches chatting with her friends and drinking a glass of wine, while I kneel at her feet and use a soft cloth and the inky black polish to shine the leather so brightly I can almost see my face reflected in it.

Occasionally she’ll pet my hair while I work, tell me I’m a good boy. Sometimes, she’ll loan out my services to another Mistress – or a Master. I’m as straight as they come, but something about serving a well-dressed Dominant man just gets me hard as fuck. I think it’s feeling inferior, knowing they’re so much better than me… they get to walk around in their smart suits, drink their wine and fuck the beautiful women they’re surrounded by, while I’m only good enough to sit naked on the floor and polish their boots.

Tonight, I’m in my usual spot at her feet. My work is finished, her leather boots gleaming, but Mistress pays little attention to me, except to occasionally glance down to make sure I’m still in the correct position – hands clasped, kneeling with legs slightly parted, my erection sticking out embarrassingly for all to see. I am supposed to keep my eyes on the ground but I occasionally steal a quick look up at her, this beautiful goddess who owns me.

Without missing a beat in her conversation, she reaches the toe of her newly-polished boot towards me and strokes it up and down my hard cock. Once. Twice. Three times. She gets into a rhythm, absentmindedly rubbing her boot against me while I quiver and try to control my reactions.

The stroking of her booted foot against my cock, coupled with the sweet scent of leather and polish and the humiliation of being otherwise ignored, is almost unbearably erotic. I hear myself groaning. My cock strains towards her teasing foot of its own accord, so hard it aches. I can’t help but thrust my hips, trying to get more purchase for my throbbing cock against her boot. Fuck, it feels good!

I know I’m supposed to ask permission.


Still she doesn’t even look at me, but it’s too late, too late. My cock has a mind of its own. With a loud, guttural moan, I release, my come splashing all over her beautiful boots.

At last she looks at me, first my red cheeks then my now limp cock, then she lifts her foot to inspect the sight of her boot covered in my jizz. ‘Oh dear, slave, look what a mess you’ve made of my boots. You’re going to have to polish them all over again.’

I retrieve my cleaning cloth, burning with embarrassment but glowing with happiness.

Masturbation Monday was created by Kayla Lords. Click the logo to see who else is writing about kinky boots this week.

Masturbation Monday: “Ask Nicely”

A nude woman lying on her side, apparently asleep, on a bed with white sheets.I’m not usually allowed to wear clothing in the house. He says it covers up my pretty body, which should be readily accessible to him at all times. The only exceptions to this rule are when I’m cold and I ask permission to wear a robe to keep me warm, or when he wants me to wear something in particular that’s appealing to him. After several years of this protocol, nudity has come to feel like my natural state. It’s when he tells me to put something on that I know fun things are about to happen.

He kisses me awake, first my eyelids then my lips. My eyes flutter open. I smell hot coffee.

‘Hello, pet.’

‘Good morning, Sir,’ I say sleepily.

‘You’re going to drink your coffee, then you’re going to go and put those pretty knickers on for me. You know the ones I like – the black lace.’ My cunt twinges and I feel a knot of excitement growing in my belly. This sounds like a very promising prelude to something.

I sip my coffee leisurely while I allow my mind to wander to what might be on Sir’s mind. My cunt is getting ridiculously wet already. Sir always tells me it’s embarrassing how drippy I get. I tell him it’s because he won’t let me touch it without permission, and at least half the times I ask for permission he tells me no. Then he laughs at me and calls me a silly desperate slut and reminds me that he’ll lock it away in a chastity belt if he ever catches me touching it without permission. I don’t. The ache is hard, but disappointing him would be a thousand times worse.

I swing my legs out of bed and pad over to the chest of drawers, pluck out the requested knickers and slip them over my hips, smoothing the lace over my ass. I also pull my hair out from its ponytail and shake it out over my shoulders. Sir likes it loose and flowing – more to grab on to, he says.

He comes back in just as I’m admiring my reflection in the full-length mirror.

‘Yes, you’re gorgeous,’ he agrees, looking at me approvingly from across the room. ‘Now get over here and get on your knees.’

I scurry across the room and fall to my knees at his feet. He strokes my hair, tells me I’m a good girl, his pretty kitty. I melt.

He moves behind me and I hear him grabbing something from the drawer where we keep our toys. I know better than to turn around and see what he’s doing. I feel him crouch behind me, brush my hair aside and kiss my neck. A shiver runs down my spine and through my body. My nerves are taut, waiting. Fuck. This man knows how to play my reactions like an instrument.

The rope encircles my left wrist. He ties it off in a quick single-column and then secures it fast to my ankle. The right side gets the same treatment. I test the bonds, just to make quite sure I can’t wriggle out of them.

‘Keep still, slut.’

He moves back to stand before me. Grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls me by it into the kneeling-up position. Kisses me hard. I moan against his mouth, entirely taken. Entirely his. God, I’m dripping. I must be staining the pretty panties and probably the carpet beneath me, too.

He releases me. I watch, sure that my hunger is evident in my face, as he unbuttons his jeans and lets his hard cock spring free.

‘You want this?’ he asks, gently stroking it with one hand, inches from my face. I nod furiously. ‘Of course you do, cock-loving slut that you are. You’re going to have to ask really nicely though.’

‘Please can I have your cock, Sir?’

‘Where do you want it?’

‘In my mouth, Sir.’

‘Mmmm, are you sure you don’t just want to watch me get myself off over your lovely body?’

I shake my head. ‘No, Sir. Please let me suck your cock and serve you, Sir.’

With his free hand, he grabs one of my protruding nipples and twists it painfully. I squirm in my restraints. The other nipple gets the same treatment. I let out a squeak of pain. I am sure I see his hand grip his cock more tightly, stroking faster.

He laughs lightly. ‘Poor slut. It must be torture watching me wank in front of you, knowing your hands are tied and you can’t get what you want so much?’

‘Please, Sir…’

‘Mmm, I like it when you beg. But no.’

I whimper. It is, as he correctly identified, torture having his beautiful cock so close to me and not being allowed to touch it or suck it the way I want to.

‘Today I’m just going to use you as a decorative toy to get off over.’

He strokes his cock harder. He moans and I watch the way his body tenses as he brings himself closer to orgasm. Then his hand is in my hair again, dragging my mouth to his, the kiss swallowing the sound he makes when he comes. His tongue finds its way into my mouth as I feel his come splash over my breasts.

He pulls back and looks down at me, a wicked smile on his lips. ‘Filthy girl. Let’s get you untied and in the shower.’ A final kiss. ‘Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to get my cock in your mouth next time.’

Masturbation Monday is a meme started by Kayla Lords. Click the badge below to see what other smutty treats folks have got for you this week. If you enjoyed this piece, consider supporting me on Patreon – there’s bonus smut there every Tuesday for patrons at all levels, which will sometimes be related to my MM post and sometimes be a stand-alone. This week’s image is by Molly Moore and shared with permission as part of Masturbation Monday.

[Toy Review] Vain Toys Laid Back Dildo

Vain Toys is a new European company – specifically, they’re based in Denmark – whose goal is to produce “unique, fun and funky” sex toys, all of which are also body-safe. I love small companies who hand-make their products and really care about their consumers, so I was delighted when owner Alex reached out and asked to commission a review of the toy of my choice from their collection.

My choice of toy…

Vain only carry 10 toy models currently, 7 dildos and three butt plugs, but they all look so good it was hard to decide. After much deliberation, I chose the Laid Back dildo. Like all Vain toys, it comes in a choice of any one of twenty (20!) colours, and you can also add gold or silver glitter and choose between a suction cup or flat base. I went for deep purple with silver glitter (because of course I did, have you met me!?) and a suction-cup base.

The Vain Laid Back dildo, in purple, sitting on an open notebook with two little purple silicone hearts.It’s absolutely beautiful, as you can see from the picture. The purple is a really vibrant, rich colour which goes perfectly with the silver glitter, and the hand-poured silicone gives a gorgeous swirly effect. I cannot even tell you how happy this toy makes my little #SparkleFemme heart.

My toy arrived within 8 days (impressive, considering that they’re all custom-made to order) and discreetly packaged in a plain box. Inside, I was really impressed with the presentation. The toy came in its own draw-string organza bag – perfect for storage! – and with it were two little silicone hearts (presumably made with the leftovers from the mold) and a little bag of sweeties. Really nice, thoughtful presentation. I have already asked my partner The Artist if they can make one of the little hearts into a necklace for me.

Stits, stats ‘n’ safety stuff

The Laid Back dildo is a sizeable beast. The insertable length is 6.5″ and the diameter at the widest point is about 1.8″, or a 5.5″ circumference. The base is about 3.5″ wide, which makes the toy completely safe for anal play, and the suction cup enables it to stick firmly to any solid surface. It’s made of lovely premium silicone, which is non-toxic and non-porous, and the colours come from “body-safe cosmetic mica made from natural minerals.” In other words, no nasties that can harm your body!

Being pure silicone and without motors or anything, the easiest and most thorough way to clean this toy is to boil-sterilise it. Just pop it in a pan of boiling water on the stove for ~10 minutes, then rinse off and leave to dry. If you do this, it’s completely safe to share this toy with a partner even if you’re not fluid-bonded. If you want to share without sterilising between partners, the shape of this toy is very condom-compatible. Given the size, I recommend using a larger condom to ensure against breakage.

So how did I get on with it in use?

I love the feeling of Vain’s silicone. It’s really soft and squishy and bendable. I found these qualities ideal in use, because the Laid Back is definitely at the large end of the type of dildos I like to use. With a generous slathering of my favourite water-based lube and taking it nice and slowly, I managed to get the whole toy inside me comfortably. If you like very rigid toys, these products might not be for you. But personally, I found the silicone to be exactly the right blend of firmness and flexibility. Matte texture silicone can be a little “grabby” against skin, so lube is highly recommended. (Then again, with me lube is always highly recommended).

The large base made the toy easy to hold and manipulate when I was using it by hand, and I found the suction cup sturdy and reliable for hands-free use.  The base is a little too wide and thick to use comfortably with my harness, so if you’re wanting to use a Vain toy for strap-on play I recommend getting the regular flared base.

The curve is absolutely gorgeous and is mainly what drew me to this toy in the first place. I orgasm really easily from G-spot stimulation, and so I gravitate towards toys that curve in just the right way to hit the sweet spot. In this regard, the Laid Back dildo definitely didn’t disappoint. The shape is what I would describe as semi-realistic – the shaft and head shape somewhat resembles a bio-cock, but the curve of the head is more pronounced than your average factory-installed bits – though, of course, bodies vary tremendously!

The Laid Back dildo retails for €62 (about £55) which is a really reasonable price for a hand-made toy of this calibre. The rest of the range varies from €48 to €70.

Verdict: ★★★★★

Recommended for: folks who like G-spot stimulation, anyone who likes curved toys, fans of semi-realistic designs, people who want their toys bright coloured and glittery, and length/girth combination lovers.

Thanks to Alex and Vain Toys for supplying me with this product and sponsoring a review. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Please consider buying from small companies like Vain Toys – it’s so important to support independent, ethical companies who prioritise customer happiness and body-safety. Photo is by me. Do not steal my pictures.

If you want to support me in bringing more content and honest product reviews to you, you can buy me a coffee.

[Toy Review] Desire Luxury Rechargeable Magic Wand

Hey everyone! So I’m trying a new way of writing toy reviews. My previous format worked well for a while, but I want to change things up a bit. So let me know how this works for you, ‘kay?

This review isn’t actually the primary purpose I requested this toy. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be creating a biiiiig guide to all the wand vibes currently on the market that I’ve tried. However, I need to wait for my Original Hitachi to ship from the US, so I’m sitting on it until then. In the meantime, my friends at Lovehoney sent me this one to feature and I couldn’t wait to try it out.

The Lovehoney Desire Wand, a large purple magic wand style vibrator.Desire is Lovehoney’s luxury own-brand toy range. I’ve tried a couple of their products before and am generally a fan. I’m so pleased to have finally got my paws on this particular item, because you all know that I am a big ol’ Wand Queen.

“The design delivers on the luxury promised by the line’s name.”

The Desire Luxury Rechargeable Magic Wand arrived in Lovehoney’s standard discreet packaging (plain brown box). Inside, the toy is presented in an attractive box with the Desire branding and colours – black and purple. I was super impressed to see that this wand comes with its own storage case, a sleek and discreet black zip-up in faux leather and with a little hole through which to stick the charger to plug the toy in. Major points for presentation and for including a case.

The toy itself is hefty – 13.5 inches long and with a fair bit of weight to it. For comparison, it’s lighter than the Doxy Die Cast, but a fair bit heavier than the Original. If weighty toys are difficult for you, you might want to give this one a miss – or invest in a wand mount such as those offered by Liberator.

The Desire Wand is mains-rechargeable with a charging time and constant-use time of about 180 minutes each. Being mains chargeable, it is NOT waterproof, so take care when cleaning it and don’t use it in wet environments like the bathroom.

The design is gorgeous. This toy is in my absolute favourite shade of purple, and decorated with the signature Lovehoney heart logo. The head is lovely, smooth matte silicone, which is body-safe, odorless and silky soft on the skin. The design really does deliver on the luxury promised by the line’s name.

The Desire line of toys are on the pricier end for own-brand products, and this wand is the most expensive of the bunch with a RRP of £99.99. However, based on the ones I’ve tried, it’s also far and away my favourite toy in the range. £100 isn’t an outrageous price for a really good toy and I’m happy to say this is value for money if you can afford it. At time of writing (March 2018) it’s also on a massive half-price sale, so grab one now for an absolute bargain.

Pro tip: wand vibes are designed for clitoral use, but they’re great for dicks too!

The user interface is simple – a “on/speed up” button, a “off/speed down” button, and a “change pattern” button. The Desire Wand boasts a massive 20 different patterns, each of which can be used on 5 different levels of intensity. Those who have read my work for any length of time know I’m not really a fan of patterns. I tried a few of them out, and they were okay… but I much (much!) prefer constant vibrations. If you’re a pattern fan, though, then this might be the wand for you. Annoyingly, you can only scroll one way through the pattern settings. So if you find one you like then click away from it, you need to hit the button another 20 or so times to get back to it.

Safer sex wise, the smooth silicone head is easy to sterilise with a body-safe medical wipe, which is my recommendation for any toy you can’t submerge in water to clean. The wand shape is condom-compatible if you’re using it on multiple partners without sterilising in between.

“Absolutely, far and away, the most powerful rechargeable vibe I have ever used.”

Arguably the most important single factor of any toy for me is its level of power. The power offered by the Desire wand is pretty impressive and, for me, falls about half way along the rumble/buzz spectrum. Less rumbly than I would ideally like, especially on the top setting, but nowhere near buzzy enough to cause me numbness or itching. I came really easily, twice in a row, with this toy on the top setting. It is absolutely, far and away, the most powerful rechargeable vibe I have ever used – for that, I cannot fault it in the least. Go get yours!

Verdict: ★★★★★

Recommended for: power Queens, anyone after a rechargeable alternative to mains-powered wands, pattern lovers.

This post contains affiliate links. Buying toys from Lovehoney or my other affiliates in the right-hand sidebar sends a small commission my way and helps me keep doing this work. All opinions are, and will always be, my own.

Images are property of Lovehoney and used with permission.

Ten Things I’m Taking TO Eroticon

Many of you may remember last year’s Ten Things I Took Home From Eroticon blogging meme started by the lovely Jenny. Well, I decided to turn it on its head and, with just a week and a half to go until this year’s ‘Con, tell you a little about ten things I’m planning on taking with me this year.

1. My name

Last year’s Eroticon, I wasn’t Amy Norton yet. I was using a haphazard mix of my kink scene name, a diminutive of my legal name, and just ‘Coffee&Kink’/’CK’. I’d toyed with different names but none of them felt quite right.

This year, though, I’m comfortably sitting in this identity (so much so that select people in my offline life now call me Amy, and I love it).

Hi. I’m Amy. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

2. A schedule

Last year, I pretty much went in blind to Eroticon. I’d glanced over the schedule, but being a newbie I decided to mostly go with the flow and go to whatever felt right in the moment.

This time, though, I’ve got a much more curated workshops plan in order to get what I want the most out of the ‘Con. In case you were wondering, it is as follows:

Taboo (Remittance Girl)
Making Money from Your Blog (Kayla Lords)
Legal Tips for Sex Writers (Neil Brown)
Podcasting Panel (Kayla Lords & John Brownstone)
Different Approaches to Sex Toy Activism (Emmeline Peaches)

Is There a Book in Your Blog? (Cressida Dowling)
Getting It Up (
Shocking the System (Kendra Holliday)
How to Give Responsible Sex Advice (panel)
Financial Wizardry for Sex Bloggers (Sarah Bryn Holliday & Sarah Jane)

Naturally, I’ll also be attending the Friday evening pre-drinks and the Saturday evening social. Other plans include a pre-‘Con run with Emmeline, dinner with Sarah, and food and recording a podcast with Kayla and John of Loving BDSM. Of course, my planned schedule is flexible if I find I’m really not in the mood for something at the time, but this is a good cross-section of stuff I want to learn plus all the workshops I consider ‘unmissable’ this year!

3.The signature kitty ears

I wasn’t expecting these to be such a hit last year! To be honest, I wasn’t even expecting to be the only person in feline-themed headwear! I just wore them because they make me feel more confident and they help me to tap into my kinky, sexy, sparkly self. But I got so many compliments on them and people remembered me for them (I literally pitched an article to Girl on the Net with an email that included a sentence along the lines of ‘if you don’t remember me, I was the one with the ears’.)

Yeah, they’re definitely coming with me again this year. I might even pack a couple of different pairs. Yes, I have daywear ears and formal ears. Doesn’t everyone!?

4. The Catsuit of Joy

Remember this one? It was a review item/gift from my friends at Latex Leather & Lace and the cause of The Boobs That Made Straight Girls Question Their Heterosexuality.

Yes, I’m planning on wearing it on Saturday night. Yes, I will also be pairing it with the aforementioned signature ears. And yes, you have my full consent to stare at my chest as much as you like.

5. (Small) sex toys

I’m not interested in hooking up at Eroticon, but I did realise last year that hearing so much glorious smut during the day would inevitably lead me to needing to have a quick wank back in my hotel room before bed. Couple this with the fact that citalopram withdrawal has made my sex drive go a bit haywire this last week or so, and… yeah.

I’m gonna be short on packing space but I think the Tango and MiMi will fit nicely in my case.

6. Fabulous femme things

I can’t wait to get my femme on at Eroticon. I’m already planning makeup experiments of the kind I don’t normally attempt. There will be glitter, for sure, because I need to make the most of this opportunity as I am no longer allowed to wear glitter at home (you get it in the sofa ONE time…!) There will also be jewellery, made for me by my sweetie The Artist, getting its first outing that weekend.

7. A portable coffee mug and good coffee

Um, hey. Have you met me? I’m obsessed with coffee and would probably replace my blood with it if I wouldn’t die. I just ordered myself an awesome new travel mug, which is coming with me and will be filled permanently with coffee in order to keep me going at top capacity through the whirlwind of the weekend. I’ll probably also bring a stash of coffee bags, because I find the coffee most venues serve leaves a lot to be desired. (Yes, I’m a snob.)

8. My notebook

This was in the goodie bags at Eroticon 2017 and it’s still my favourite notebook to scribble smutty notes in. I’ll be frantically taking notes and story ideas and sound-bites and hanging on every word my favourite presenters have to say!

9. Hugs to give out

There are so many people I want to cuddlepounce the fuck out of next weekend. I will be coming with my best hugging arms and ready to wrap them around anyone who consents.

10. Realness

Last night, I was panicking that I haven’t achieved all of the things I wanted to achieve ahead of this year’s Eroticon. I haven’t lost 50lb, or finished my novella. I haven’t quit my job to spend my days writing about dildos (okay, that one is a pipe dream rather than an actual plan) or completely weaned myself off my antidepressants. Hell, I haven’t even finished my PhD application!

But then I realised: it doesn’t matter. I can bring my realness to Eroticon. I can be a hot mess in all my hot, messy glory, and it will be okay. These are my people and this is my community and I can be both a fabulous, smut-loving sparklefemme AND an anxious wreck with a hefty dose of imposter syndrome. Both of these things can be true. It will be okay.

I think  the theme of this Eroticon for me will be: I am.

If you’re there too, come say hello!

I’m very friendly. Talk to me about BDSM, sex toys, smashing the patriarchy, what you’re reading lately, musical theatre, coffee, sex ed reform, feminist fiction, femme identity or non-monogamy. Or just tell me about your work and I’ll lap it up.

If you want to support my work and help me keep attending conferences like Eroticon, which are the highlight of my year but also expensive, you can buy me a virtual coffee, shop with my affiliates in the right-hand sidebar, or become a Sexy Patron to access some exciting bonus content. (I’m considering audio clips for Patreon supporters, so there’s that to look forward to!) Thank you to Oliver, my newest Patreon supporter.

Masturbation Monday: “Movie Night”

This story is dedicated to Hannah and Tits & Test Tubes. CN for consensual humiliation/degradation play. 

A female-read person's torso, wearing a blue shirt with their breasts exposed.

Jessica snuggles into Sir’s shoulder and lets out a gentle purr as he scritches her head beneath her blonde pixie-cut. From his other side, a moan of contentment from Katie lets her know that the other woman is getting similar treatment. She loves when the three of them are all together like this, her and the two people she loves most in the world. She pulls the blanket up more closely about her shoulders, and reaches across Sir’s lap to place an affectionate hand on Katie’s leg.

As the movie progresses, Sir’s hand moves from petting her head to stroking her arm. She bites back a gasp when it moves to her breast, and keeps her eyes fixed on the TV screen. Sir grasps her nipple through her thin t-shirt and begins to pinch and twist it in just the way she loves. She bits her lip and manages to hold back the moan of pleasure that is welling in her throat. Her cunt begins to dampen.

Jessica hears a whimper. At last, she flips her eyes away from the screen and to the other side of the couch. Sir’s hand has disappeared beneath the blanket, and is moving in Katie’s lap. Katie’s eyes are closed and her lips slightly parted as her breathing quickens.

Katie draws in her breath sharply as Sir’s hand slides up her leg and over the thin lace covering her mound. She tries to contain herself, not wanting to appear too desperate, even though she is. She’s been edging every night for the week leading up to this date and she knows that she’ll be embarrassingly drippy within seconds.

Sir runs his fingers over her cunt on the outside of her knickers, brushing tantalisingly close to her swollen clit, the seat of her longing, but never quite touching it. She feels a wet spot already staining her new panties. She closes her eyes and her head falls back, her toes curling as she tries not to hump his teasing hand. When she does peek over at the other side of the couch, Jessica is watching her with lust in her eyes as Sir’s hand plays with her erect nipple.

‘God, you’re soaked,’ Sir murmurs as his hand moves faster underneath the blanket. The squeal of tormented pleasure that comes from Katie tells Jessica that Sir’s fingers have found her nub and are rubbing it in just that way she likes. Jessica wants to throw back the blanket and watch him fingering their girlfriend’s cunt, but she knows better. Instead she focuses on Katie’s face, on the sounds she makes, and on Sir’s ministrations on her now painfully hard nipple. If only he’d finger her cunt, too…

‘You want this too, don’t you?’ Sir asks her as if reading her mind. Jessica nods furiously. ‘Too bad. You get to watch her suffer and your cunt isn’t getting any attention at all.’

Two of Sir’s fingers slide into Katie’s begging cunt, while his thumb continues to rub her clit. Despite herself, she begins to rock her hips, humping his hand in rhythm with his thrusts into her.

‘Filthy cunt. Gagging for it already.’

Katie can already feel the orgasm starting to well up within her.

‘Sir…’ she gasps. ‘Sir, please may I come?’

‘You know how to ask better than that, slut!’

‘Sir, please can this filthy little fucktoy come?’ 

‘That’s better, but since you ask so nicely… no, you may not.’

The cry of frustrated torment that comes from Katie makes Jessica’s own cunt even wetter. Almost before she realises what she’s doing, her left hand slips under the blanket and into her shorts. She’s brought back to reality a second before her fingers reach her clit by a sharp slap across her breast.

‘Don’t you fucking dare!’ Sir growls at her. ‘Put those hands where I can see them.’

Jessica whimpers, but withdraws her hand and places it in her lap. Sir pinches her nipple to hard it makes her cry out.

‘These cunts get touched when I say they get touched, and not a second before. Got it?’

‘Yes… yes, Sir!’

‘Good.’ He releases her abused nipple from his grip and returns to stroking it unfuriatingly gently with his fingertips.

Katie’s moans are becoming more frantic. She is clearly trying to hold back the forbidden orgasm she so desperately craves. Jessica watches her with a mixture of awe and envy. She squirms in her seat, grabbing a fistful of the blanket to stop her hand from straying once again. She’s so wet she’s sure she has dripped through her shorts and stained the couch beneath her.

‘Fuck!’ Katie thinks. ‘Mustn’t come without permission… must not come without permission… must not…’

Sir pushes his fingers even deeper into her as he continues to caress her clit in circles.

‘Please, Sir!’ she begs as the first waves start to hit her.

‘Please what?’

‘Please let me come, Sir… or please stop so I don’t without permission…’

‘Hold it, cunt,’ he orders, his level voice a stark contrast to her frantic pleas. ‘Control yourself.’ 

Katie summons all her willpower and tries desperately to think of something unsexy, but her cunt has a mind of its own. The harder she tries to pull herself back from the edge, the closer Sir’s skilled fingers push her to it. It’s no good. She wants to be a good girl, to obey, but she’s clenching harder and she’s going to…  

The hand is withdrawn. Katie whimpers as the longed-for orgasm is ripped away from her at the last second. Her cunt throbs and the familiar ache in her clit returns, stronger than ever. Sir pushes his fingers, coated in her juices, into her mouth.

‘Clean your sloppy cunt off my fingers.’ She licks them clean eagerly, tasting her own desperation. ‘God, you’re filthy.’ Sir says. ‘Now get on your knees between Jessica’s legs and edge her for me hard with your tongue.’



Original story by me. Prompt image is by Hyacinth of A Dissolute Life Means. Masturbation Monday is a blogging meme set up by Kayla Lords. Click the logo to see what other delicious wank-fodder is floating around this week.

[Toy Review] B.O.B. Pink Allure Wand

Anyone who knows me knows that I love wands. I’m pretty much obsessed with them. No other toys hit my sweet spots in quite the same way. So I was pretty excited when TooTimid offered me the Pink BOB Allure Wand to review.

I’ve got to be completely upfront and state that I hate this manufacturer name with a vengeance. BOB stands for Battery Operated Boyfriend and this just upsets me on a ridiculous number of levels. Say it with me now: toys are not replacements for partners! Sex toys and partners occupy completely different spaces and functions in one’s life!

The Pink BOB Allure Wand, a pink wand style vibrator.That said, how did the Allure Wand actually stack up?

My first impression of the Allure Wand when I took it out of the packaging is that it’s really, really light. Like, ridiculously so for its size. This is a really big plus point and means it might be a manageable wand for those who find the heavier models too cumbersome.

The Allure Wand is mains powered and the cord is a massive 9ft long. It’s about 12″ long and the classic shape first popularised by the legendary Hitachi. It boasts 20 different speeds and pattern settings.

In use, I found it… okay. Less intense than some wands – it certainly doesn’t match my beloved Doxy in power! – but I can get off with it quickly and reliably if I ramp it up to the top setting. The noise level is reasonable – wands are never going to be silent toys, but my partner couldn’t hear it through the floor the way he can with some toys! The vibrations have a nice rumble at the lower speeds. Turned up higher, they get a bit more buzzy, but I didn’t personally find them numbing or uncomfortable. I do have a higher tolerance for buzz than many people, though, so avoid this if you’re really into rumbles.

I did notice the head got a little warm after about 30 minutes of continuous use, so you might want to bear this in mind if you like to use your wands for long periods of time without a break.

I didn’t have to struggle to get off with this one! And for that, it is to be commended.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The Allure Wand retails for $69.95 at TooTimid, which is about £50. This is a noticeably lower price point than many of the “big name” wands and thus makes it a decent option for those on a budget.

Materials: ★★★
The head is made of silicone, which is body-safe. It’s not the softest or smoothest in the world, but I don’t expect luxury at this price point. I have no significant complaints. The body is ABS plastic.

Appearance: ★★★
You all know how I feel about pink! (Spoiler: I’m kinda sick of it). The Allure Wand is actually slightly less obnoxiously pink in real life than it looks on the pictures. The real colour is slightly darker and less in-your-face. It’s still very pink, though, and I’m not here for that. Other than this, it’s a  classic wand shape.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
Again: this wand is ridiculously light for the size and level of power, which is one of the things I really love about it. It’s mains powered, so needs to be plugged in to use, but the 9ft cord makes this easy – even if your socket is on the other side of the bedroom, it’s got you covered.

It operates on a simple two-button interface. One button turns the toy on and off and changes the pattern, while the other adjusts the speed. It does have that annoying problem of SO MANY toys, wherein you can’t change down a speed or go back to the previous pattern without cycling allllll the way through. Seriously, when are manufacturers going to figure this out?

On the plus side, the buttons are intuitively placed, press easily, and make a nice satisfying “click”. The flexible neck is really annoying to me because I like to be able to press a toy hard against my vulva. But for others it might be a nice touch, as some “give” can enable more precise placement to the right spot.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The silicone head makes clean-up relatively easy, though I am always a bit wary when it comes to cleaning mains-powered toys as they can’t be submerged in water. It’s best to clean them with a sterile wipe – I like to use the ones you can buy in bulk from a medical supply store. There is a seam around the head which could trap bacteria, so be extra thorough when cleaning that area. For toys like this, I always advise popping a condom over it if you’re going to share with a non fluid-bonded partner.

Versatility: ★★★★★
There are so many settings! I love how you can use any of the patterns with any of the different speed settings, so the combinations are endless. It’s designed for clits, but would work very nicely for dicks too!

I was pretty impressed on this score! A lot of cheaper wands are really lacking in the power department. Though it isn’t a match for some of the more high-end wands on the market, it’s got a really good level of power that will keep all but the most power-loving clits happy. I can get off with it reliably.

Overall Score: ★★★
I’m more impressed than I expected to be by this one! I was worried I’d be really disappointed given my high standards for wands and the price point, but I enjoyed using this one and my issues with it are relatively minor.

It didn’t rock my world and it probably won’t last as long as a higher end wand (the last one I had at this price point lasted about two years) but as far as I can tell, it’s a decent choice for a first wand or if you’re on a budget.

Thanks to the folks at TooTimid for commissioning this review! All views are, and will always be, my own. Image is property of TooTimid.