[Toy Review] Fifty Shades Freed ‘Lavish Attention’ Vibrator

First, let’s address the elephant in the room.

I thought long and hard (stop snickering at the back!) about whether or not to request, or accept, any of Lovehoney’s new Fifty Shades Freed line of toys for review after attending their recent affiliate product showcase. In the end, I made a balanced decision that yes, I would review this line. Let me tell you why.

A close up of an elephant. For a review of the Fifty Shades Freed Lavish Attention vibrator.

To say I have issues with the Fifty Shades franchise is an understatement. I believe those books are not just poorly written and questionably researched portrayals of bad BDSM – I actually believe they’re really harmful. The way they’re written, and marketed, passes off stalking, psychological abuse, disregard for consent and even rape as romantic. Check out Jenny Trout’s series or my friend Christine’s blog if you would like to learn why more and more sex-positive feminists are speaking out against this series.

However. A terrible first introduction though it is, more and more people are finding BDSM and the kink and sex-positive communities via this franchise. They read the book or watch the film and get turned on by all the kinky sex. “I want to do that!” they think. Okay. So where do they go? Maybe they search online. If they’re lucky, they’ll find brilliant educational blogs. If they poke around for any length of time in the internet kinkosphere, they’ll probably land on Fetlife sooner or later. They might come to a munch. And they might go and buy a sex toy, possibly for the first time ever.

The seasoned kinksters among us may roll our eyes each February when the newest film brings the influx of “the Fifty Shades crowd” to our online spaces or our local munch. But if we do not welcome these people, we are doing them a great disservice. If we push them away or look down on them, we’re completely failing to live up to our purported values of inclusion, respect and community. Not only that, but pushing them away means they’re more likely to practice kink in unsafe and uninformed ways, imitating what they’ve read in that trilogy. If we welcome them in, they will have access to tremendous resources of knowledge, experience and education. I’ve seen plenty of people who came to kink via Fifty Shades grow into fantastic, skilled, responsible kinksters.

People who come to kink via less-than-ideal source material deserve resources and information. They deserve support, a loving community and the same access to education that every single one of us needed when we were new, regardless of our route into the community.

They also deserve safe and quality toys.

The way I see it, the majority of people who are likely to gravitate towards Fifty Shades branded toys will probably fall closer to the “new/inexperienced” end of the demographic spectrum. They may never have purchased a vibrator or dildo before in their life! They’ll probably be completely overwhelmed by the sheer quantity and variety of toys on offer. If Fifty Shades was their way in – or even if it wasn’t, but it’s still the main current cultural touchstone for “kinky sex” – they may well gravitate towards these branded toys. People feel comforted by the familiar.

This, in a nutshell, is why I am glad that Lovehoney have made this Fifty Shades Freed line in the way they have. Having seen most of the products in the flesh (um, as it were,) I feel happy to say they’re a body-safe, user-friendly and just flat out good quality line of toys. I’m glad that inexperienced folks, new to the world of sex toys, are going to get quality products and not some shitty jelly-rubber, phthalate-ridden piece of crap when they Google “Fifty Shades sex toys”. (And yes, this is the first link that comes up when you do that search. I checked.)

With that out of the way… what did I think of the actual toy?

The |Lovehoney Fifty Shades Freed Lavish Attention vibrator. A half moon shaped vibrator with a handle in a lovely plum colour;.The Lavish Attention vibrator is a dual clitoral and G-spot toy. Its shape is like a half moon on top of a handle. The internal part is nice and slim, with a circumference of about 4 inches at the widest part, and flexible. When this is inserted, the external part – which is more rigid – rests against the clitoris. Both vibrate. The Lavish Attention has 3 constant vibration speeds and 7 patterns. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof, travel-lockable, and comes with a handy – and stylish – purple storage bag.

I loved using it. I wasn’t sure I would, as dual-stim toys often aren’t very effective for me, but I like to broaden my horizons and expand my preferences. Personally, I found the shape and size of the Lavish Attention perfect to comfortably stimulate both my G-spot and clitoris without much weird maneuvering required.

Unusually, I enjoyed the vibration patterns on this toy. I think having internal stimulation slightly changes how my clitoris responds to things, though I am still figuring out exactly how this works. There are some caveats – read on for those! – but I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend the Lavish Attention to anyone looking for a good quality dual-stim toy.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
This toy retails at Lovehoney – currently the exclusive carrier! – for £54.99. This puts it squarely into the mid-price bracket, and in my opinion it’s reasonable value for the quality. I note that Lovehoney have a stellar returns policy.

Materials: ★★★★★
I can’t praise this enough. It’s premium quality matte silicone and feels absolutely gorgeous. It’s the kind of toy you just want to stroke again and again because it feels so lovely.

Appearance: ★★★★
One of the big plus points for the whole Freed range, for me, is how pretty they are. They’re all the same plum silicone with rose gold accents. The look is classy, sensual and sexy as fuck. If it didn’t have the Fifty Shades logo emblazoned upon it, it would be the perfect aesthetic for a sex toy in my opinion.

Ease of Use: ★★★
I generally find dual-stim vibes take some practice and some experimentation to find the best position to use them. This was no exception. I also found it slightly awkward to hold due to the positioning of the handle. It is nice and light, which is a big plus and particularly relevant for anyone who struggles to hold heavier toys due to disability or injury. My biggest gripe is that you can’t turn the speed and pattern settings down – if you want to get back to the previous setting, you have to cycle alllllll the way back through.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
You can clean the Lavish Attention, as with any silicone toy, with a sterile body-safe wipe. These are available cheaply in bulk from medical suppliers. This toy is completely waterproof which means you can submerge it to clean. The internal piece can easily be covered with a condom, but it’s not so easy to use with a barrier externally.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Lavish Attention has 3 speeds and 7 patterns, making it nice and versatile whichever you prefer. One feature I would have liked would be the option to control the internal and external vibrations independently of each other. The shape makes it safe for anal use, and I imagine the external stimulator could feel really nice against the perineum during anal play if that’s your jam. It is fully waterproof, so safe for bathtime play.

Intensity:
★★★★
As ever, please remember I am the biggest Power Queen who ever Power Queened. The vibrations were more than adequate and got me off, but I would have liked one or two higher settings. Considering that my preferred power level is “Doxy on speed,” though, I might be an outlier here. The vibration quality is a little buzzy, but not numbingly so.

Overall Score: ★★★★
A very solid dual-stim toy which I enjoyed using. Not perfect, but perfect doesn’t exist anyway. I’ve marked it up for being body-safe, fully waterproof, gorgeous looking and relatively quiet. It lost a few points for the annoying lack of a “down” control.

I don’t recommend this toy to lovers of girth – it’s definitely slimline – or those who can’t stand their vibrations being even slightly buzzy. But if you’re looking for a good quality, mid-priced clitoral and G-spot toy from a trustworthy retailer, and don’t mind the Fifty Shades branding, I suggest giving Lavish Attention a try!

The good folks at Lovehoney sent me the Lavish Attention vibrator in exchange for an honest review. This in no way affects my opinions which are, and will always be, entirely my own. Buying your sexy products through Lovehoney helps support me with a small commission and keep the blog going.

Elephant image is courtesy of Pixabay, a fab source of copyright-free images. Toy image belongs to Lovehoney and is reproduced here with their kind permission.

Holiday Gift Guide 2017

It’s that time of year, folks! Whatever you’re celebrating this winter, it’s likely you’ll have cause to give gifts to your loved one(s.) For your romantic or sexual partners (or friends with whom you have that kind of relationship) why not give them a sexy gift they’ll really love?

And, of course, don’t forget that YOU are someone you love! Whether you’re partnered this festive season or not, why not treat yourself to something special too?

To give you plenty of time to get your sexy shopping in, here’s my specially curated gift guide for 2017.

A couple of quick notes:

1: I have deliberately avoided gendered language in this post. I talk about vulva-owners and penis-owners because people of all genders can have all kinds of genitals and too many of us feel alienated by aggressively gendered toy marketing.

2: Links here are affiliate links unless otherwise stated. If you buy from an affiliate using my links, I will make a small commission which helps me to keep doing this work. As always, I only partner with companies I trust and I promise to NEVER recommend an unsafe product, or one I’m uncertain as to the safety of.

DISCOUNT JUST FOR ‘COFFEE & KINK’ READERS! Get 15% off EVERY gift guide item available at Lovehoney when you use the links in this post. Prices listed here DO NOT include the discount.

Top Picks: Vibrators
The Doxy Original, a purple wand style vibrator with a grey head, held on an upturned palm.

 

The Queen of vibrators and one of my favourite things in the whole world, the super-powerful Doxy Massager will always be top of my list. My Doxy is the only toy that always lives next to my bed, and it remains the best gift a lover has ever given me. £89.99 from Lovehoney.

The Doxy Die Cast, a deep purple wand vibrator with a large black silicone head.

 

 

If you love the Doxy, there’s also the newer, smaller-but-heavier Die Cast version,  with a beautiful aluminium and titanium body and body-safe silicone head. £149.99 from Lovehoney.

 

 

The We-Vibe Tango, a small blue bullet vibrator. For a review post.
Small but mighty, the We-Vibe Tango was one of my favourite discoveries this year. Discreet, small, easy to use and POWERFUL AS ALL FUCK, this one’s a sure winner for the power queens out there – and anyone who likes their vibes portable. Unlike many pocket-sized vibes, it’s also really rumbly. Check out my review. £54.99 from Lovehoney.

The Rocks Off Bamboo, a small lipstick shaped rose gold vibrator.

For those on a budget, the Bamboo vibrator by Rocks Off is my favourite low-priced vibe discovery this year. Body-safe, pretty, quiet and powerful-ish, this is a really solid little toy for the price. £16.99 on Lovehoney.

Top Picks: Dildos

The Idee du Desir Orchid 1001 Nights dildo for a review post. Pictured with an orchid flower.
The Idee du Desir Orchid 1001 Nights dildo is a really beautiful luxury wooden dildo that I completely fell in love with this year. With its subtle gold shimmer, it’s the height of classiness, and those gentle ridges feel divine. €90 from Idee du Desir (not an affilitate)


A line of Effulgence Ambit silicone dildos in a range of shimmery colours.I discovered Godemiche this year at Eroticon and I am in love with their beautiful, unique silicone toys – each one is hand poured and they come in all kinds of beautiful colours. The Effulgence Ambit range, pictured, is my favourite because GLITTER. £35-47 from Godemiche (not an affiliate.)

The Tantus Vamp Super Soft, a midnight purple dildo with a realistic head and flared base.

Tantus make beautiful silicone dildos that feel absolutely divine. My favourite is the Vamp Super Soft (in midnight purple, obviously!) With a flared base, it’s perfect for vaginal or anal use and can even be paired with your favourite harness for the ultimate strap-on experience. $69.99 from Tantus Inc.

 

A curved glass g-spot dildo from Lovehoney

 

Glass dildos have long been a love of mine. I like to insert them and then juuuust barely wiggle them against my G-spot. They’re so rigid that even this slight movement provides a world of blissful sensation. Try the curved sensual G-spot glass dildo from Lovehoney, £24.99.

Something A Bit Different

The Zumio, a purple sex toy with a small plastic tip. Shaped a bit like a toothbrush.
There’s been a lot of buzz (sorry) about the Zumio this year. I hate the claim that it is guaranteed to give any woman an orgasm in 60 seconds or less because BODIES DO NOT ALL WORK THAT WAY, but the product itself is genuinely innovative and has received overwhelmingly positive reviews. For lovers of direct, pinpoint clitoral stimulation, this is the one. £134.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Eroscillator, a purple sex toy that looks a bit like a toothbrush. Pictured with 6 attachments.I was lucky enough to try the Eroscillator as a friend’s place recently. (Yes, I have excellent friends.) Despite looking like what Kate Sloan describes as a “steampunk toothbrush” (yes) it’s amaaaazing. Because it oscillates rather than vibrates, it somewhat mimics the sensation of fingering, only faster. It also comes with six (count them!) attachments. Perfect for lovers of the kind of clit stim that brings you to a deliciously slow-build orgasm. £199.99 from Lovehoney.

 

I just got my paws on this cutie for a review and it’s brilliant! The straps hold it against the vulva for hands-free use and it’s operated with remote control, making it super ergonomic to use solo AND suitable for delicious partnered play. Try wearing it and giving your lover the remote to take control of! It has 8 patterns and 12 speeds. £74.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation, a suction based sex toy that looks like a little penguin wearing a pink bow-tie. For a review post.

Suction based toys are all the rage right now and my favourite is the Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation, which I reviewed recently. Don’t let the cuteness put you off – aside from literally looking like a little penguin in a bow tie (because obviously!), this baby gives me orgasms so powerful my partner can hear them from the other end of the house. £69.99 from Lovehoney.

Favourites for Couples

The We-Vibe sync, a wearable purple C-shaped vibrator. Pictured with the remote control and a mobile phone.

We-Vibe created the original wearable vibrator for couples, and the Sync is the newer and improved version of their classic. Worn during intercourse, the internal piece stimulates the penis and G-spot, while the outer arm stimulates the clitoris. It’s remote controlled, so no worries if you want to adjust the speed while you’re wearing it, and the app functions make your experience super customisable. £159.99 from Lovehoney.

 

A black strap on aet with silicone dildo and another smaller dildo pictured to the side. From Lovehoney. I love strap-on play, especially pegging (where a vulva-owner penetrates a penis-owner anally with a strap-on.) This set is great value. I love it because the harness is really adjustable to fit a wide range of bodies, and you can use it with any dildo with a decent base. I like using the 5 inch slimline dildo it comes with for pegging, and swapping out for the bigger size or my Tantus if fucking another person with a vagina. £44.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Feeldoe, a purple double ended v-shaped vibrating dildo.

The Feeldoe has become a classic for good reason. The shorter end is inserted into the vagina of the giving partner, and they use the longer end to fuck the receiving partner. Somewhat more advanced than a basic strap on, but with the huge added bonus of direct internal stimulation for the fucker. Plus, it’s made from lovely body-safe silicone and even has an inbuilt vibrating bullet. From $124.99 from Tantus.

 

Top Picks for Dicks

Note: this section is somewhat out of my area of expertise. These recommendations come from extensive reading of reviews and help from some of the wonderful dick-owners in my life!

 

I can’t have a section on toys for dicks without mentioning Fleshlight, the original and best-selling masturbator. Flight by Fleshlight comes highly recommended. One reader commented that he likes that it’s less obviously anatomical looking than some penis toys. £44.99 from Lovehoney.

The Pulse III Solo, a black three-quarter sleeve style toy for penises.

 

I adore Hot Octopuss. Their toys are so innovative and their #SexNotStigma campaign is brilliant. (Check out the sponsored post I wrote for them a little while ago!) Their Pulse III uses oscillating Pulse Plate technology, which is – get this – medically proven to bring about ejaculation. The Solo is designed for – unsurprisingly – solo use, while the Duo boasts a vibrating underside to stimulate a vulva during partnered play. £79.99 (Solo) or £99.99 (Duo) from Hot Octopuss, with 10% off when you use this link and code CK10.

The Tenga Black Flip Hole, a black male masturbation sleeve with buttons on the side, held in a female hand.

 

The Tenga Flip Hole masturbator boasts “multiple asymmetrical textures and buttons that enable you to manually tailor pressure anywhere along your shaft.” This is a far cry from “just stick your dick in and fuck it” penis toys, and allows for an amazing range of different sensations. Bonus: it pops open for easy and thorough cleaning. £69.99 from Lovehoney.

The Tantus C-Sling, a red silicone cock ring with a contoured tongue.

Cock rings are brilliant! They restrict flow of blood from the erect penis, giving a stronger erection and keeping the dick harder for longer. The C-Sling from Tantus works in basically the same way, with the added bonus of the contoured tip which gently stimulates the perineum during play. $34.64 from Tantus.

 

Anal Fun

The We-Vibe Ditto, a purple silicone butt plug. Pictured with the remote control and a mobile phone.

The We-Vibe Ditto is We-Vibe’s first and long-awaited anal toy. It’s relatively small – the insertable length is only about 3 inches – and uses We-Vibe’s signature powerful vibrations. It’s remote- or app-controlled and has 10 different vibration modes. The Ditto is even waterproof if you want to get your sexy on in the shower. £109.99 from Lovehoney.

 

A glass butt plug from Lovehoney.

 

Did I mention I LOVE glass toys? Well, that goes for anal toys too. Mr CK bought me this beauty from Lovehoney for my birthday and it is one of the most perfect plugs to ever go up my butt. £19.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Rocks Off Naughty Boy, a curved reverse C-shape black prostate vibrator.

 

I love Rocks Off! Their Naughty Boy is a slimline vibrating prostate stimulator with a gentle curve to perfectly hit those sweet spots. It has 7 different functions and is powered by a removable RO80 bullet. £49.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Aneros MGX, a white curved prostate stimulator with a curly base.

 

This one comes to the list courtesy of my friend, fellow blogger and sometimes co-creator Exhibit A, who describes it as “the other love of [my] life!” (One assumes the first love is his awesome wife Livvy!) The Aneros MGX is a plastic (body-safe!) prostate massager works with the sphincter muscles for hands-free fun, and stimulates both the prostate and perineum. £39.99 from Lovehoney.

 

Let’s Get Kinky

If you’re into impact play, how about treating yourselves to the most beautiful floggers you’ll ever own? Kabunza is a small business, headed up by designer, maker and teacher Aemilia Hawk. Not an affiliate, I just love them forever. Every creation is unique and you can even custom-order. Various prices.

A pair of silver "Clover" nipple clamps held in a female hand.

 

I’m a big fan of nipple clamps, and clover clamps are my favourites of all! They are quite pinchy and tighten when you pull on them. Not recommended for beginners to nipple play! This is the set we have, from Bondage Boutique. They’re so affordable and have lasted us two years and are still going strong. Remember… they hurt more coming off! £8.99 from Lovehoney.

A coil of violet dyed hemp rope from Twisted Monk

 

Bondage enthusiasts understand the sensual and aesthetic appeal of beautiful rope. If you love natural fibres in beautiful colours, get your hands on some of Twisted Monk’s hand-dyed hemp. The violet, pictured, is my favourite. Not an affiliate. $35.99 for 30ft from Twisted Monk.

 

Luxurious Lingerie & Foxy Fetishwear

 

The Lovehoney Moonlight Wine Crotchless Basque, a deep red one piece of lingerie, modelled by a pretty white woman with dark wavy hair.I The Lovehoney Moonlight plunge babydoll, made of red wine satin and black lace. Modelled by a pretty dark haired woman.am completely in love with Lovehoney’s brand new Moonlight range. The black lace and red-wine satin oozes sophistication. My favourite pieces, pictured, are the plunge babydoll set and the crotchless body. Perfect for cosy winter nights in with your lover. I’ve just received a review piece (look out for that!) and it makes me feel like a total babe. Every piece comes in plus sizes, too, so everybody can look and feel gorgeous. £34.99 from Lovehoney. My favourites are included in the offer, or you can check out the whole range and take advantage of 25% off when you buy any two pieces.

 

A black PVC full body catsuit, modelled by a pretty white woman with blonde hair.

 

My new favourite is this sexy catsuit from Latex, Leather & Lace. I tried one on in their new store and it was love at first meow! (Watch out for my full review, coming soon). Pair with some sexy black boots (like those below, perhaps?) and you’ll be “feline” gorgeous all night long. £64.99 from Latex, Leather & Lace.

 

 

A black leather overbust corset modelled by a dark haired white woman running her hand through her hair.

 

I adore real leather. The feel, the warmth, the smell… oh god, the smell. Mmmff. That’s why I am lusting HARD after this Lady Anne corset by Allure Leather, and I’m sure you will be, too. £160.99 from Latex, Leather & Lace.

 

 

Pleaser 1020 black high heeled lace up boots
I hate most things about winter. What I do love, though, is that it’s BOOTS SEASON! I can’t even remotely walk in heels without breaking myself, but I do enjoy wearing them to feel sexy once in a while. This winter I’m lusting after these Pleaser beauties. The high-heel wearer in your life is bound to love them too! £70.95 from Latex, Leather & Lace.

 

 

All pictures in this post are property of the respective retailers and are reproduced here with their permission.

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Desire Butterfly Hands-Free Vibrator

I love anything a bit unusual and different when it comes to sex toys. That’s why, when my friends over at Lovehoney offered me the product of my choice from the new Desire range to test and report on, I was immediately drawn to this one.

Facts ‘n’ Figures

The Butterfly is part of the new Lovehoney Desire range of luxury toys. I tested the clitoral pebble vibe a few months ago from the same range. The Butterfly is a wearable vibe which rests against the vulva and is held in place with a strap around each leg and one around the hips.

The underside of the Lovehoney Desire Butterfly, a purple vibe which is flat escept for a small raised ridge where the head of the Butterfly would be. Black elastic straps are attached.

It’s a smallish vibe, 4.2 inches in length. The underside (pictured right) is flat and smooth except for a bump of around 1 inch which sits against the clitoris. The harness is super adjustable, with a maximum width of 40 inches around the hips. I have wide hips and I found it very comfortable to wear.

The storage cases for Lovehoney's Desire products. A black square zip up case with the Lovehoney heart logo.

It’s remote-controlled. The vibe itself is rechargeable via USB, and the remote control takes one watch-style battery, which should last ages. All Desire toys come in their own stylish black case (pictured right) which is perfect for storage and travel. The Butterfly even features a travel lock, so no worries about it accidentally turning on in your bag!

 

My Experience

It took me a bit of experimentation to get the Butterfly to sit correctly against my body. I had to adjust the straps a few times to figure out the best placing for them so that the lovely ridge rested against my clit. After a few minutes and some very attractive wiggling in and out of bits of elastic, I found a position that worked and settled down with some smut for a nice wank.

The Butterfly has 8 patterns and 12 speeds, but I just wacked it up to “constant vibration, highest speed,” because that’s how my bits roll. I also realised, not for the first time, that entirely hands-free stimulation, while nice, very rarely makes me come. I prefer to have the toy I’m using pressed somewhat firmly against my vulva so I can grind against it. So I ended up pushing it against my body with one hand. This wasn’t really a problem for me, and wouldn’t be necessary for someone who doesn’t need such firm pressure in order to get off.

I found the Butterfly’s vibrations impressively strong for its size. Not strong enough to get me off in record time in the way a wand can, but thoroughly enjoyable for a nice slow wank! It took me about 40 minutes to go from “cold” to “orgasm” with the Butterfly. This would be a long time for some people but is quite normal for me if I’m not worked up before I start, especially with a toy I’ve never used before.

In conclusion: I really enjoyed this toy.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The Butterfly retails on Lovehoney for £74.99, which puts it at the higher end of the Desire toys’ price-range. It won’t be in everyone’s budget for this reason. However, the difference in quality from lower-priced toys, including Lovehoney’s own budget range, is noticeable. These toys look and feel luxurious. Overall, worth the price.

Materials: ★★★★★
The entire body of the Butterfly – AND the remote – are silky soft silicone. Silicone is my favourite because it’s non-porous, phthalate-free and completely body-safe. I recommend water-based lube with silicone toys (and just in general because it’s gentler on your body.)

Appearance: ★★★★★
It’s super cute and actually looks like a little butterfly! It also, if I do say so myself, looks really pretty when it’s on. It’s the same purple as the whole Desire range, which is a lovely colour and provides a really nice, classy look.

Ease of Use: ★★★
This one definitely took some practice. The interface is simple – you switch on the toy with a single button on the body, and then use the remote control to cycle through the settings. There are three buttons – speed up, speed down, and change pattern. It’s the positioning that can be a struggle at first. I suggest taking your time to experiment, try different positions for your body and the toy, and be prepared to adjust the straps a few times to make it work for you.

A quick note for anyone who, like me, has a natural bush: the straps do have a tendency to trap stray pubes if you’re not careful! Watch out for this if you don’t want a non-consensual wax job courtesy of your sex toy.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
Being pure silicone, the Butterfly can be cleaned with a sterile wipe (try the kind from medical suppliers, but make sure they’re body safe)! It’s waterproof, so you can submerge it fully in water to clean it thoroughly. The straps come off easily so they can stay dry when you wash the toy. Not condom compatible. You could use a barrier like a dental dam, if you want to share and are cautious about infection transmission.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Butterfly has 8 pattern settings and 12 speeds, so whatever you’re into, there will be a setting for you. It’s great for solo play, but could also enhance pleasure during intercourse. I’m already planning to wear it next time Mr CK bends me over the bed and fucks me from behind! Another way to use it with a partner would be to give your lover the remote and let them control the toy. It is waterproof, but I’m not sure I would bother using it in water as it seems like the straps would be a pain to dry.

Intensity:
★★★★
Not at all bad for the size. I would have preferred them a touch stronger and rumblier, personally. But they were more than adequate to bring me to orgasm.

Overall Score: ★★★★
A really nice little toy. I’d recommend it to folks who like gentler clitoral stimulation, and to anyone looking for something they can enjoy solo and with a partner. It’s also a great choice for anyone who needs a hands-free or low-energy toy for pain or mobility reasons.

Go get yourself one, and don’t forget to use code COFFKINK10 at checkout for 10% off!

Thank you to my affiliates at Lovehoney, who sent me this toy in exchange for an honest review. If you use one of my links to buy, I may make a small commission. This does not in any way affect my views which are, and will always be, my own.

The images featured in this post are property of Lovehoney and are reproduced here with their kind permission.

Five Tasks and Rituals that have Nothing to do with Sex

Quickie-post today, dear readers, because I am up to my face in PhD research proposals. Today’s prompt in 30 Days of D/s is about tasks and rituals: the little things you do to help you feel more submissive or more Dominant, to “bring you back to your mental, emotional and even physical D/s space.”

A pair of hands offering a steaming mug, in black and white. For a post on tasks and rituals.

These things can often be sexual. In my previous D/s relationship, my tasks included things like rolling a dice and edging that number of times. There were times when he instructed me to wear Ben-wa balls to work every day, or to go to the grocery store without panties every day for a week.

These sexual tasks are all well and good, but D/s isn’t always about sex. Sometimes you just want to feel Dominant or submissive without your genitals involved. Here’s a few ideas for tasks or rituals and have nothing to do with sex.

1. Text (/call/email/message) at a specific time each day

This is especially good if you’re long distance or don’t live together. Simply texting “good morning, Sir,” “goodnight, Pet” or some other variation on a daily touching-base can be surprisingly powerful.

2. Making their drink

I used to always make my ex-Master’s tea and then serve it to him in a specific way. Learning how your Dominant likes their drink and serving it to them is a lovely, affirming submissive action for the service-oriented among us.

3. Write a journal

Loads of Dominants task their submissives with journalling regularly. Whether this is open to your D-type to read or entirely personal is up to the two of you. It’s a great way to get to know yourself, explore your desires and experiences within the relationship, and check in with yourself to make sure you’re happy and functioning.

4. Eat or drink something specific

Massive disclaimer to maybe avoid this one if food is a trigger for you or you’re recovering from any kind of eating disorder. This could be something really simple like “drink 2 litres of water a day” or “eat a piece of fruit after dinner,” but it can be a nice way for a submissive to feel like they’re doing as they’re told and a Dominant to feel like they have a hand in their submissive’s health and wellbeing.

5. Repeat a mantra

You can do this to yourself in the mirror, to your partner, or even on your kinky social media if you like. Try something like, “I am beautiful and Sir loves me,” or “I am proudly owned by my Mistress”. Whatever works for you and your relationship!

I hope you find some inspiration here! What tasks and rituals do you use in your D/s relationship?

Kinky item of the day: remote-controlled vibes! Want to get your sub hot and bothered on the bus, gagging for it in the grocery store or worked up at work? These beauties have got you covered!

The image featured in this post was offered for use via Creative Commons Licensing.

Heads up: this post contains affiliate links. Buying from my affiliates (in the right hand sidebar) supports the blog and I promise to never recommend a product I don’t 100% stand behind.

[Toy Review] The Rabbit Company “Come Hither” Rabbit

The “Rabbit,” first popularised by Sex & the City, is one of the absolutely quintessential sex toys for people with vulvas. And until a few nights ago, I’d never tried one. I saw the monstrosities available in Ann Summers (back before I realised A.S. suck and vowed never to shop there) and they just didn’t appeal to me at all. They were too big, too garish-looking, and didn’t seem like they’d provide anything meaningful in the way of clitoral stimulation.

The Rabbit Company, though, have changed all that. After two years of research and development, they’ve created a line of rabbit-style toys that are high quality, body-safe and a joy to use.

The Come Hither Rabbit, a purple rabbit style vibrator. For a product review.

So how was it?

Something you should know about me is that I often don’t like clitoral and G-spot stimulation at the same time. Sometimes I do, but it has to be done exactly right and I have to be in the mood for it. My cunt is a fickle creature. This is another reason I’ve never been drawn to a Rabbit toy before.

It was the “come hither” motion that gave the model its name, combined with the impressive vibration power in the ears, that led me to this one. And ohhh my. It moves against the G-spot in a way that somewhat mimics how I like to be fingered, and the different speed settings mean you can ramp it up or down to suit. The vibrating ears also have six different patterns, each of which can be increased or reduced in intensity. It’s not super girthy and the insertable length is about 4 inches. It is rechargeable via USB cable (included, though the adapter is not.)

With a generous smear of water-based lube on both the shaft and ears, the Come Hither Rabbit slid into me smoothly and the ears fit comfortably around my clit. It took a little playing to get it into exactly the right position, and I’m sure the “right” angle of penetration and positioning of the ears and whiskers will vary for everyone, but – being silicone – it has some flex so can be maneuvered into position.

I came really fast with the Come Hither Rabbit. Even factoring in for the few days of build up (I was sick for a few days and didn’t feel like wanking) and the excellent porn I found, this still got me off in under 5 minutes, which is pretty incredible by my body’s usual standards. The orgasm was intense, long, and incredibly satisfying as a result of stemming from both clitoral and g-spot situation.

It’s official: I’m a Rabbit convert.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★
The Come Hither Rabbit retails at Simply Pleasure for £94.99. Yes, it’s an expensive toy. However, I’m going to put my opinion out there and say it’s worth the investment if you like this type of toy. The quality is stellar. All Rabbit Company toys come with a 5 year warranty as standard, too.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s seam-free, high quality silicone and it’s just so very soft. Silicone means it is body-safe, non-porous and hypoallergenic.

Appearance: ★★★★★
It’s really cute (and it comes in purple)! For some reason, the adorable little ears and whiskers just make me giggle.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
It has one simple control panel – the on/off button, the up/down speed control buttons, and the centre button to cycle through the different vibration patterns. It’s easy to hold and not too heavy, either. It does take a little practice to position correctly. I found it easy to keep in the desired position once I’d found it.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
Its smooth shape and seam-free silicone make the Come Hither Rabbit easy to clean with a sterile wipe or some toy-cleaner. (Usual disclaimer to check if any nasties are lurking in your cleaner applies here.) The whiskers are a little more fiddly to clean so take extra care in that area.

The Come Hither Rabbit is not waterproof, though it is splash-proof. Be careful if cleaning it with soap and water and don’t submerge it. The shaft can be covered with a condom for safe penetration, though it would be difficult (not impossible – you could use a dam or some cling-wrap) to use a barrier for the ears part. Therefore, either be super fastidious with cleaning or don’t share it with a non fluid-bonded partner.

Versatility: ★★★★
Multiple intensity levels and six vibration patterns make the Come Hither Rabbit quite versatile. It’s definitely an “internal and external at the same time” toy – you can’t readily use just the clitoral part or just the internal part without the other.

Intensity: ★★★★★
Yes. Yessssss. This beauty has really lovely, intense vibrations that got me off hard in record time for any toy that isn’t a Wand.

I repeat: yesssssss.

Overall Score: Image result for four and a half stars

Downsides: despite the advertising, it is definitely NOT “whisper-quiet.” It’s not unbearably loud, but the “come hither” motion makes a moderately loud and very distinct noise. It’s not waterproof, if you care about such things. (I don’t.) It’s not the easiest to clean.

Upsides: Pretty much everything else. The intensity of the vibration and the perfection of the G-spot stim was what clinched it for me. Definitely a winner.

I bought this toy for myself and chose to review it because I was excited about it. No affiliate links were used in this post. If you like what you read here, please consider supporting me by becoming a sexy patron, buying through my affiliates in the right hand sidebar, or buying me a virtual coffee.

[Toy Review] We-Vibe Tango Bullet Vibrator

Hi, I’m Amy and I’m addicted to sex toys.

Mr CK and I found ourselves in a sex shop over the weekend, thanks to going to our local Peer Rope session (see my latest Sinful Sunday pic for evidence of our adventures there.) I was browsing some toys and found the Leaf Fresh on special, which I was considering getting. I asked the lovely sales woman how powerful it was, and she pretty much dragged me to the other end of the store, going, “if you want power you NEED the Tango!”

Friends, she was right.

The We-Vibe Tango, a small blue bullet vibrator. For a review post.The We-Vibe Tango, a small blue bullet vibrator, boxed. For a review post.

Meet this tiny powerhouse of joy

The Tango by We-Vibe is known for being the strongest bullet vibrator currently on the market anywhere. It’s small, only 3.5 inches in length and about 0.75 inches in diameter. It’s a standard bullet shape with a small flattened edge at the top leading to a point. This is great if you like really pinpoint stimulation. It is USB rechargeable, waterproof and operates on a single-button interface which takes you through 8 settings. It comes attractively packaged (see above pic) like all We-Vibe products, and comes complete with a cute little satin drawstring storage bag.

My first toy was a bullet vibe, but I haven’t really gone near bullets in years, apart from that ill-fated testing of a crappy freebie. They’re typically just not strong enough to do anything for me. I get frustrated and yearn for something bigger and more powerful. Well, I am pleased to report that the Tango is the delightful exception.

I came home very tired and late but determined to have a wank before bed, and it gave me a fabulous orgasm in under 10 minutes – a feat rarely achieved. The best thing? How rumbly the vibrations are. None of the horrible buzz you get with so many smaller toys. It’s not the quietest, but the volume isn’t at all bad when compared to the strength.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
This toy retails on Lovehoney for £54.99. It’s definitely at the top of the price range for a bullet vibe, but I think it’s worth it. It’s just so superior in quality to the overwhelming majority of superficially-similar toys on the market. It also comes with a one-year warranty, so there’s no worries of it breaking after three uses!

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s made of hard ABS plastic, which is body-safe, non-porous and free from phthalates. This won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I don’t recommend it if you prefer softer toys, for example, as this is very rigid. What I really like about it is that the hard plastic doesn’t dampen down the vibrations At All. (If you prefer your vibrations to be somewhat calmed by a layer of silicone, the Touch is a great option!)

Appearance: ★★★★
It’s cute and tiny, which makes it non-threatening to people who are put off by huge or bulky toys. My lovely affiliates Lovehoney only carry it in pink, but it also comes in blue – which is what I went for, being generally anti-pink. Blue is a slightly less common sex toy colour, which I appreciate.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
Being so small, it’s really light and fit neatly into my tiny hand. The button on the base is easy to press. This single button cycles through the settings as well as being the on/off switch.

It does have the slight annoyance of only being able to cycle through settings one way (i.e. if you change up, you can’t change back down again without going through all of them first). But also it has the super cool feature of a memory function, meaning that whatever setting it’s on when you turn it off, it will restart to that same setting. This is great for me as I pretty much only use it on one mode. The only real issue – and this is common to all bullet vibes – is that the vibrations travel through the whole toy, meaning my hand gets vibrated as much as my cunt during use.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
The Tango can be easily cleaned between uses with a sterile wipe, and is waterproof so you can use hot water for a more thorough cleaning. It could be popped inside a condom or used with another barrier without much impact on the quality of vibrations, if you’re sharing it in a non-fluid-bonded relationship.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Tango has 8 different settings – 4 constant speeds and 4 patterns – so whatever form you like your vibrations to take, there will be a setting for you. It’s waterproof, so if you want some bathtime fun, that’s an option too.

It’s advertised as “for solo play,” which it’s definitely great for, but it also works really well with a partner – for me, a strong vibrator on my clitoris during penetrative sex with a penis-owning person is a sure way to get me off, and the Tango is perfect for this as it’s so small (much as I love my Doxy, it’s a bit hefty for this purpose!) The Tango is definitely only a clitoral toy – it’s too small for internal vaginal use (and no flared base, so please please please don’t use it anally!)

Intensity:
★★★★★
Yes yes yes yes. Power queens everywhere, rejoice! This is the bullet toy we’ve been waiting for! The vibrations are strong, rumbly and delicious. The level of power is seriously impressive for something so small. And, again, the hard plastic material doesn’t dampen the intensity at all.

Overall Score: ★★★★★
I now understand why so many people rave about this toy. It’s going to be my go-to vibe for when I’m traveling, want some clit stimulation while fucking, or simply can’t be arsed to use something as big and heavy as my Doxy. I cannot overstate how much I freaking love this toy. Go get yourself one and don’t forget to use code COFFKINK10 at checkout for 10% off.

Note: I bought this toy for myself and did not receive anything in exchange for this review. This post does contain affiliate links and if you buy through one, I make a small commission. This does not in any way affect my views on the product which are, and will always be, my own.

[Toy Review] The Rock Chick

I’ve been wanting to try the Rock Chick for a long time and I really wanted to love it as it’s such a neat design (and also made by Rocks Off, who did the Ruby Glow which I adore.)

The Rock Chick by Rocks Off. A purple c-shaped sex toy

Stits ‘n’ Stats…

It’s a C-shaped, “2-in-1″ toy, one end a g-spot dildo and the other, ribbed end supposed to sit against the clitoris while the dildo end is inserted. It’s powered by a removable vibrating bullet and has 7 settings – 3 speeds of constant vibration and 4 patterns.

Size-wise, the insertable length is about 4 inches and the girth is about 1.3”. Not one for size queens, but a good length and perfect curve for g-spot stimulation.

My experience…

The Rock Chick is supposed to be “hands free,” but it didn’t quite work for me that way – I had to hold the clitoral end against my body to get the most out of the vibrations when I was lying on my back. A position that did work for me was lying on my front with a pillow beneath my hips, my body weight effectively pinning the toy in place, and grinding against it.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t orgasm from this toy, even with a few days of built-up horniness and some damn good porn in front of me. The vibrations, dampened by the thick silicone, just weren’t strong enough for me. I enjoyed the sensations, but it wasn’t quite enough.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
This toy retails on Lovehoney for £39.99, which isn’t a bad price. It’ll be out of some budgets but it’s nowhere near as expensive as some of the higher end toys. It puts it pretty squarely into the bottom of the mid-range, which is about right.

Materials: ★★★★★
The main body is soft and flexible silicone, which I can’t fault. It’s body safe and feels lovely. The removable bullet is hard ABS plastic, which is also body safe.

Appearance: ★★★★
It comes in purple (yay!) and pink (meh,) so pretty standard colours for sex toys for people with vulvas, but the Rock Chick is attractive enough. The C shape makes me think of my favourite C-word (CUNT) which is kind of pleasing.

Ease of Use: ★★
Mmm, unfortunately this is where this toy really falls down for me. The “hands free” idea is cool but sadly it just doesn’t quite work for my body. The G-spot part had to go too deep, almost painfully so, in order to get the clitoral stimulator into the right position. Of course, it’s impossible for a toy to fit every body perfectly. For someone whose body is different, it might work really well. I sort of got around this by using the “face down, hips on pillow” position mentioned above, but even then I needed to frequently use a hand to adjust the toy or keep it in place. You change the settings with a single button located on the end of the clitoral part that is a little difficult to press.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The shape and smooth silicone mean it’s easy to clean the Rock Chick with a sterile wipe. It’s also waterproof, so you can clean it thoroughly in hot water. The bullet is removeable, so you can take it out and clean it separately. The embossed letters on the side do make for a bit of a bacteria trap, so please be extra thorough when cleaning that area if any body fluids get in there. You could put a condom over the insertable end for extra safety or when sharing.

Versatility: ★★★★★
The Rock Chick has 7 different settings, making it versatile whether you like constant vibrations or patterns. You could also remove the bullet and use it separately, if you like. It’s much stronger this way though still somewhat buzzy. It’s a waterproof toy, so you can play with it in the bath or shower. The shape means the insertable end would be suitable for anal use with no risk of getting stuck. I can also see that it could be a good toy for double-vaginal penetration with a partner.

Intensity: ★★
Just too weak, unfortunately. When I removed the bullet it felt nice and strong in my hand, though moderately buzzy, but the padding of the silicone dampened it to the point that it couldn’t get me off. Disappointing. For someone who is into much gentler vibrations, it might work.

Overall Score: ★★★
I really like the design and it has some good points. It was really the weakness of the vibrations that ruined it for me. But if you’re after a dual-purpose toy and you’re not as powervibe-mad as me, this toy might work really well for you.

Note: I purchased this toy for myself in a closing down sale. This post does contain affiliate links and if you buy through them I make a small commission. This does not in any way affect my views on the product which are, and will always be, my own. Don’t forget to use code COFFKINK10 at Lovehoney for 10% off!

The image featured in this post was offered for use via Creative Commons Licensing.

[Toy Review] Evolved Novelties Silicone Silky “G”

One of the criticisms I often hear around the movement for body-safe and well made sex toys is that they’re unaffordable for a lot of people. I do not believe this is true. You can find good quality and safe products for no more money than a lot of the unsafe, toxic and porous toys on the market – you just need to know where to look.

That’s why, after shipping charges scuppered the intention to review a higher priced toy, I was actually quite glad to have the opportunity to test something at a lower price-point. The lovely folks at new women-focused US online retailer Amanda & Eve sent me the Silicone Silky “G” by Evolved Novelties.

The Evolved Novelties silky silicone G out of its case. A blue vibrator with a curved tip. The blue Evolved Novelties Silky Silicone G in its plastic case

First, some facts ‘n’ stats…

The “G” is a blue silicone, battery-operated G-spot vibrator with three constant vibration speeds (no patterns.) It’s 1.5 inches in diameter and the insertable part is 7.5 inches long, making it a poor choice for girth queens but a good option for those who like slimline vibes or slightly deeper penetration. Like most silicone toys, it’s got some flexibility which makes for easy, smooth insertion and a sensation that isn’t too rigid. The end curves pleasingly, which stimulated my G-spot very nicely when inserted, and also doubles up for pinpoint clitoral stimulation.

A quick note: there is some confusion on different retailers about what batteries this toy takes. I can confirm it’s definitely 2 AAA batteries.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
This toy retails at $28.99 (about £22.50) and at the time of writing is on sale for $14.99 through Amanda & Eve for North American readers. This is a fantastic price for the quality of product, especially as it’s pure silicone.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s made of matte-finish silicone, making it completely body-safe, non-porous and hypoallergenic. Points all around and kudos to Evolved Novelties for listening to their customers and creating safe toys that are still affordable. As always, use water-based lube for silicone toys.

Appearance: ★★★★
It is NOT PINK, which automatically earns points from me, and it comes nicely presented in a sturdy plastic case. (Pictured above.) It’s also available in purple.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
It’s a little heavy for the size (4.3 oz,) which wasn’t an issue for me but might make it a poor choice if holding something with a bit of weight would be an issue for you. Other than that, it fits snugly in my hand and the button to cycle through the speed settings is easy to press and located on the base of the toy.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★
The shape and smooth silicone surface mean it’s easy to clean down with a sterile wipe. It’s also waterproof so you can submerge it fully in water for a more thorough cleaning. There is a “seam” down the middle, presumably from the mold – common in lower priced silicone toys. This could harbour bacteria – so do take particularly thorough care of this when cleaning. Easy to pop a condom over for extra safety if you’re particularly concerned or sharing your toy.

Versatility: ★★★★
It has three speeds, which isn’t that many compared to some vibes on the market which may have 10-2o speeds or “patterns”. I’m struggling to mark it down for this, though, because the “constant vibration” setting is always my favourite anyway. The three levels mean you can choose the intensity of vibration that works for you. It’s waterproof if you want to use it in the bath or shower. Though it’s designed as a G-spot toy (and functions as one admirably!) I also really liked this vibe as a clitoral stimulator. The shape of the tip is just perfect for precision stimulation. It doesn’t have a flared base, so please don’t use it anally.

Intensity: ★★★★
The vibrations, though a little buzzy for my taste, went deep enough to get me off in a reasonable timeframe and are impressively strong for such a cheap toy – especially as I’ve used much more expensive toys with lower strength of vibration. Not recommended for serious power queens, but otherwise I have no complaints.

Overall Score: ★★★★
Not at all bad for the price. Though it’s not perfect, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this toy to someone looking for a decent vibe at a lower price-point.


I received a free product and small fee from Amanda & Eve in exchange for an honest review. This in no way affects my views on the product which are, and always will be, entirely my own. I do not make a commission from any links in this post.

The images featured in this post come from Amanda & Eve’s website and are kindly reproduced here with their permission.

A Girl and Her Doxy: A Love Story

It’s hardly a secret to anyone at this point that I’m madly in love with my Doxy massager and will wax lyrical to anyone who will listen about how it’s the best sex toy in the universe, hands down, bar none.

For the remaining three people on the internet who don’t know what a Doxy is, it’s a large, wand-style vibrator that plugs into the mains. It’s a great big beast of a thing with vibrations more powerful than any I’ve felt anywhere else. In my opinion, and die-hard proponents of the original may disagree, it’s everything that was good about the Hitachi Magic Wand… only better. It looks a little something like this:

The Doxy Massager, a purple wand style vibrator

I own a lot of sex toys – a perk of being a blogger and also generally a bit obsessed. But I still find myself reaching for this one time and time and time again whenever it’s I don’t have to review anything, I just want a nice orgasm time.

So why do I love this toy quite so damn much?

1. It was a gift from my beloved.

My Doxy was the first gift Mr CK ever gave me. He got it for me for my 25th birthday, which was the month after we started dating. He gave it to me at a CM/nf event we went to a few days before my birthday. At that same event, while we sat on the squishy pouffe things in the social space, enjoying aftercare and snacks, he asked me to be his life partner.

Yeah, this thing has some of the best memories attached to it.

2. It’s powerful as fuck.

Once more for those in the back: I have never found vibrations this good and this powerful anywhere else. Capable of up to 9,000 RPM, the Doxy provides a nice deep penetrating vibration with varying speeds (though anyone who has been lucky enough to see me use mine will be aware that I ramp it up to top speed immediately and keep it there until I’ve come.)

3. It’s body-safe.

The head of the Doxy original is made from “non-porous medical grade PVC” (which contains no pthalates or other nasties) while the newer Die Cast model has a silicone head, which you will know is always my preferred toy material. And despite the shape and size of the head, it actually works very well with a condom. I always advise using a barrier if you’re sharing the toy with someone who is not a fluid-bonded lover.

4. Their customer service is amazing.

After about a year we experienced a slight issue with the motor in my Doxy. Mr CK wrote to the company and they immediately replaced the toy with a new one, which also happened to be a slightly upgraded model. No problems at all. They genuinely care about their customers, and get A-pluses all around for service.

5. It’s reliable.

This toy is literally the only thing, including my own fingers, that can give me an explosive clitoral orgasm more-or-less every single time I use it. (I think I need to do a post on the difference between clitoral and G-spot based orgasms.)

6. It’s versatile

Unlike its precursor, the original Hitachi Magic Wand, the Doxy has a wide range of intensity settings and can be set at whatever level the user desires. It’s clearly designed for vulvas but can be just as effectively used on people with penises. (Yes, many cock-owners get the hell off from vibrations!)

7. It comes in purple.

Purple, y’all. What’s not to love? (If for some reason you don’t like purple, it also comes in white, black and pink.)

This post contains affiliate links. If you’re in the USA or Canada and would like to support Coffee & Kink, please consider buying your Doxy or other luxury toy from Luxury Vibrators. If you’re in the UK, please buy from Lovehoney and use code COFFKINK10 for 10% off. All opinions are, and will always be, my own.

The image featured in this post was taken by me and is my copyrighted property. It must not be reproduced without express permission.

[Toy Review] The Tot Bodee Vibrator

Horny Geek Girl practically threw this toy at me at the #LubeAndALaptop meet last month, with a “please take this and review it!!” Well, how could I say no to that?

The Tot Bodee vibrator, a bright pink toy that looks a bit like a sperm in shape

The Bodee Vibrator is a small (less than 4″ long) rechargeable pink vibe with a small flexible tail that also vibrates. Its main selling point is that it can be hooked up via Bluetooth to a special app and then controlled via Smartphone by either the wearer or whoever else they decide to hand the control to. At least in theory, there’s some pretty cool sex-tech goodness going on here. In practice… meh.

What I didn’t love

The Bodee is sold as a G-spot vibe but, to be completely honest, I found it too small and not curved in the right way to hit my G-spot in any meaningful way. The tail is, I think, intended to stimulate the clit while the main body of the toy is inserted into the vagina. Unfortunately the tail was too short and too flimsy for this to work.

It’s also too loud to realistically wear while out in public, which probably removes a good deal of the “hands free, app controlled” appeal for the more adventurous among us. And it’s tiny, which I take issue with when they’re selling it as an internal toy. I’m not a size queen by any means, but this thing was way too small to do anything much internally. If you’re using it as a clit stimulator (read on,) the size isn’t an issue.

However…

When I repurposed it as a clitoral stimulator (which I am often wont to do,) it was suddenly quite effective. It comes with six different patterns which you control through the app (or you can scroll through with the button on the top if you’re not connected into the app) and – I LOVE this – you can literally design your own vibration pattern with the app’s “custom” feature. Seriously cool.

My overwhelming reaction to this toy is “cool concept with some good points, but needs work”. Read on to find out why.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
The only retailer I could find that ships this toy to the UK was Deals Machine which seems to be a wholesalers of some description. The toy sells there for £28.29 for one (as with most wholesalers, the price per unit goes down if for some reason you decide you want 50 vibrators) which is a really fantastic price for the quality of product.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s silicone with a matte finish, meaning it’s soft and lovely to the touch and also completely body-safe. As always, use water-based lube for silicone toys.

Appearance: ★★★
It’s BRIGHT pink (seriously, the picture does not do justice to how pink this thing is) and not available in any other colours, which gets a mark down from me. I’m just so sick of pink pink pink everywhere in sex toys for people with vulvas. On the plus side, it’s small and cute (good for people who feel threatened by or nervous of larger toys) and the shape sort of reminds me of a sperm, which I have nothing but slightly giggly respect for.

Ease of Use: ★★
The Bodee is small and very light, making it gentle on the hands and wrists. However, the tail is the bit you’re going to be realistically using as a handle if you’re thrusting with it or using it as a clit stimulator, and said tail is just a little too small and flimsy to be up to the task. The vibe comes with a little instruction booklet that explains setting up the app, which really couldn’t be easier. You literally download it, turn on the toy and your Bluetooth, they sync up, and you’re good to go. The app itself, once you’re in, is really self explanatory.

Unfortunately, I’ve had to give a lower score that I’d like to here because A) the main website is all in Chinese with no translate option, so finding more details or troubleshooting is really hard, and B) the app sometimes crashes for no reason – it did this maybe 3 times in a half hour play session.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The shape and smooth silicone surface mean it’s easy to clean down with a sterile wipe. In theory, it’s waterproof, but I’m not sure to what extent I’d trust that. The “resealing” charging hole doesn’t close as well as I’d like it to. I wouldn’t submerge it fully in water, personally. Could be popped into a condom or used with another barrier for safer sex reasons if you’re sharing it.

Versatility: ★★★★
Versatility is really where the Bodee shines. This toy has a LOT of settings – and the amazing, amazing, AMAZING feature of being able to design your own pattern of vibrations. As above, it says waterproof but looking at the charging hole, I don’t fully trust that claim. It’d be great to hear from someone who has, though – let me know if you’ve tried this. I don’t much care as I don’t wank in the bath anyway. I found it only worked for clitoral stimulation but it might work internally for some people. Not suitable for anal use.

Intensity: ★★★★
The vibrations were definitely a little buzzy, but not horribly so. They went deep enough to get me off, though it took a while. They were pretty strong for such a small toy, which is more than I was expecting. The Bodee also didn’t have that annoying tingling/itching effect that some buzzy vibes have.

Overall Score: ★★★
A great idea for a “toy with a difference” that is at least partially well-realised. There are some pretty significant flaws that prevent me from giving the Bodee a higher score. It definitely wouldn’t be a top recommendation for someone looking for a clitoral or G-spot toy. Great inexpensive way to experiment if you like the idea of Bluetooth or app-controlled vibes, and potentially great for D/s play – the opportunities if you hand the controls off to your partner are endless. I hope they come out with a second generation version that addresses some of the issues.

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