[Wearable Review] Moonlight Wine Crotchless Plunge Body by Lovehoney

I am not a lingerie person. Like, at all. I go braless basically all the time. My first choice of underwear is boxer shorts. I owned one basque from Ann Summers and passed it on to Mr CK after deciding that, in his very occasional bouts of cross dressing, he looks better in it than I do. This is how NOT a lingerie person I am. (#LazyFemme.)

Even so, when the lovely folks at Lovehoney offered me something from their new Moonlight range to try, I thought it might be fun to broaden my horizons and see what the appeal is. After much deliberation and some consulting with Mr CK, I went for the Crotchless Plunge Body in this gorgeous shade known as “wine.”

The Lovehoney Moonlight Crotchless Plunge Body, modelled by a pretty white woman with long dark hair and lipstick that matches the garment.

Despite the fact that I am most emphatically Not A Lingerie Person, I loved the look of the Moonlight range straight away when I saw some samples at the September affiliate event. The black and red-purple colour scheme and the luxurious fabrics spoke to me of a classiness that is mostly missing from the bits of cheap lace and fake leather I’ve had ill-fated relationships with in the past.

Even so, it was with some trepidation that I tried on this garment. I have a complex relationship with my body-image at the best of times and I am currently in a very frustrating plateau in the midst of a long weight-loss journey. I felt worried that it wouldn’t fit or that I’d just look ridiculous and about as sexy as a blob.

But I needn’t have worried. The moment I felt the satin and lace against my skin, I started to feel transported into a sexy space. Really good clothing can take me to a different place. In a well-tailored dress and heels, I’m ready to take on the business world. In the perfect floor-length gown, I can swoosh around a charity ball with people much richer than me and act like I belong there. And, it seems, in really good lingerie I go from zero to sex-kitten in moments. When I’ve got this piece on, I just want someone to stick their fingers through the convenient access hole in the crotch. I feel babely as all hell, and I love it.

A couple of extra things of note: this piece is hand-wash only. All the pieces in the Moonlight range come in equally-gorgeous Plus Sizes (up to approx. UK 24). Unlike many companies, Lovehoney do not charge more for Plus Size.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
This piece retails at £34.99 and items in the Moonlight range go up to £39.99. Considering that you can easily pay as much for a half-decent bra, and that comparable basques and bodies at some high street stores can retail for upwards of twice as much, these prices are really reasonable for the quality.

Appearance: ★★★★★
I really can’t overestimate how gorgeous this body is. The shade (well-named, it really is close to the colour of red wine!) is stunning, the cut is really flattering, and the lace and ribbon accents are stylish and eyecatching without being “too much.” The satiny ribbon around the middle is a really nice touch that completes the look for me – I love how it accentuates my waist, which is one of my best features.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s a mix of satin and lace, which look beautiful together and feel gorgeous against the skin. I particularly love how soft the lace is. I tend to shy away from lace because it can be so scratchy, and my skin is very sensitive to textures, but this doesn’t scratch at all. There’s definitely no corner-cutting by using cheap materials here. The fabrics carry off the luxurious first impression.

Fit: ★★★★
The Moonlight pieces run true to size, in so far as women’s clothing has consistency of sizing. I normally wear a size 12 and I ordered the medium, which is labelled as a 10-12 and fits me snugly but well. The only thing I will point out is that the cups run a bit small if you’re big-busted. I have DD boobs and the medium is a little small on them – at a guess I would say it’s maybe a C-cup. Just something to be aware of for those of us with an above-average bust for your size. The band size fit me well at a 36.

Overall Score: ★★★★★
I really wasn’t expecting to be as impressed with this piece as I am, given the price and my general ambivalence towards sexy lingerie as a thing. After this, though? I might be something of a convert.

I can’t wait to wear it for Mr in the bedroom!

Don’t forget: this piece featured in my 2017 holiday gift guide because I loved it so much. Go to my exclusive gift guide page and buy through there and you’ll get 15% off!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! All views are my own. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through one, I make a small commission which helps me to keep doing this work. 

The image in this post belongs to Lovehoney, and I have used it with their permission.

[Toy Review] We-Vibe Tango Bullet Vibrator

Hi, I’m Amy and I’m addicted to sex toys.

Mr CK and I found ourselves in a sex shop over the weekend, thanks to going to our local Peer Rope session (see my latest Sinful Sunday pic for evidence of our adventures there.) I was browsing some toys and found the Leaf Fresh on special, which I was considering getting. I asked the lovely sales woman how powerful it was, and she pretty much dragged me to the other end of the store, going, “if you want power you NEED the Tango!”

Friends, she was right.

The We-Vibe Tango, a small blue bullet vibrator. For a review post.The We-Vibe Tango, a small blue bullet vibrator, boxed. For a review post.

Meet this tiny powerhouse of joy

The Tango by We-Vibe is known for being the strongest bullet vibrator currently on the market anywhere. It’s small, only 3.5 inches in length and about 0.75 inches in diameter. It’s a standard bullet shape with a small flattened edge at the top leading to a point. This is great if you like really pinpoint stimulation. It is USB rechargeable, waterproof and operates on a single-button interface which takes you through 8 settings. It comes attractively packaged (see above pic) like all We-Vibe products, and comes complete with a cute little satin drawstring storage bag.

My first toy was a bullet vibe, but I haven’t really gone near bullets in years, apart from that ill-fated testing of a crappy freebie. They’re typically just not strong enough to do anything for me. I get frustrated and yearn for something bigger and more powerful. Well, I am pleased to report that the Tango is the delightful exception.

I came home very tired and late but determined to have a wank before bed, and it gave me a fabulous orgasm in under 10 minutes – a feat rarely achieved. The best thing? How rumbly the vibrations are. None of the horrible buzz you get with so many smaller toys. It’s not the quietest, but the volume isn’t at all bad when compared to the strength.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
This toy retails on Lovehoney for £54.99. It’s definitely at the top of the price range for a bullet vibe, but I think it’s worth it. It’s just so superior in quality to the overwhelming majority of superficially-similar toys on the market. It also comes with a one-year warranty, so there’s no worries of it breaking after three uses!

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s made of hard ABS plastic, which is body-safe, non-porous and free from phthalates. This won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. I don’t recommend it if you prefer softer toys, for example, as this is very rigid. What I really like about it is that the hard plastic doesn’t dampen down the vibrations At All. (If you prefer your vibrations to be somewhat calmed by a layer of silicone, the Touch is a great option!)

Appearance: ★★★★
It’s cute and tiny, which makes it non-threatening to people who are put off by huge or bulky toys. My lovely affiliates Lovehoney only carry it in pink, but it also comes in blue – which is what I went for, being generally anti-pink. Blue is a slightly less common sex toy colour, which I appreciate.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
Being so small, it’s really light and fit neatly into my tiny hand. The button on the base is easy to press. This single button cycles through the settings as well as being the on/off switch.

It does have the slight annoyance of only being able to cycle through settings one way (i.e. if you change up, you can’t change back down again without going through all of them first). But also it has the super cool feature of a memory function, meaning that whatever setting it’s on when you turn it off, it will restart to that same setting. This is great for me as I pretty much only use it on one mode. The only real issue – and this is common to all bullet vibes – is that the vibrations travel through the whole toy, meaning my hand gets vibrated as much as my cunt during use.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
The Tango can be easily cleaned between uses with a sterile wipe, and is waterproof so you can use hot water for a more thorough cleaning. It could be popped inside a condom or used with another barrier without much impact on the quality of vibrations, if you’re sharing it in a non-fluid-bonded relationship.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Tango has 8 different settings – 4 constant speeds and 4 patterns – so whatever form you like your vibrations to take, there will be a setting for you. It’s waterproof, so if you want some bathtime fun, that’s an option too.

It’s advertised as “for solo play,” which it’s definitely great for, but it also works really well with a partner – for me, a strong vibrator on my clitoris during penetrative sex with a penis-owning person is a sure way to get me off, and the Tango is perfect for this as it’s so small (much as I love my Doxy, it’s a bit hefty for this purpose!) The Tango is definitely only a clitoral toy – it’s too small for internal vaginal use (and no flared base, so please please please don’t use it anally!)

Intensity:
★★★★★
Yes yes yes yes. Power queens everywhere, rejoice! This is the bullet toy we’ve been waiting for! The vibrations are strong, rumbly and delicious. The level of power is seriously impressive for something so small. And, again, the hard plastic material doesn’t dampen the intensity at all.

Overall Score: ★★★★★
I now understand why so many people rave about this toy. It’s going to be my go-to vibe for when I’m traveling, want some clit stimulation while fucking, or simply can’t be arsed to use something as big and heavy as my Doxy. I cannot overstate how much I freaking love this toy. Go get yourself one and don’t forget to use code COFFKINK10 at checkout for 10% off.

Note: I bought this toy for myself and did not receive anything in exchange for this review. This post does contain affiliate links and if you buy through one, I make a small commission. This does not in any way affect my views on the product which are, and will always be, my own.

[Book Review] Approaching the Swingularity by Cooper S Beckett

★★★★★ – five stars.

Yes, you read the title correctly. Swingularity. As not only a Cooper/Swingset fangirl but a devotee of all things puntastic, how could I resist?

The cover of Approaching the Swingularity by Cooper S Beckett

This is actually Cooper’s second novel about swinging and follows directly on from his first, A Life Less Monogamous. I read them more or less back to back but, at the author’s request, I am reviewing the newer one first. Swingularity can also be read as a stand-alone, though I’m of the opinion you’ll get more from it if you read ALLM first. I’m going to keep this review as spoiler-free as possible, but a few plot/character points may need to be disclosed in order for it to make sense.

Approaching the Swingularity takes place during one week at Aphrodite’s Resort & Spa, a fictional swingers’ resort I’m informed carries “more than a passing resemblance” to Desire. It follows several couples, most notably newbie-ish swingers Ryan and Jen (the focus of A Life Less Monogamous) on their first trip. Joining them are scene veterans Bruce and Paige, and first-lesbian-couple-to-attend Alejandra and Crista. There’s also a storyline following the trip’s leader, Raymond, who struggles to play the jovial, sexy host while dealing with some intense personal pain.

Swingularity is definitely an erotic novel. It’s raunchy, it’s explicit and it’s hot as hell. Particular highlights, for me, were Ryan and Jen’s outdoor fuck in the middle of a summer storm, and Bruce and Paige’s very erotic “couple’s massage.” There’s more sexy fuckery (and some of it quite kinky!) than you can shake a flogger at. But it’s also a lot more than an erotic novel.

The author has thought the characters through and realised them beautifully. They all have foibles, flaws and the occasional fuck-up of epic proportions. I fancy the pants-he’s-probably-not-wearing off Bruce, but his actions when an old flame re-appears in his and Paige’s life had me going, “you FUCKING IDIOT” at the book. The relationships, too, are beautiful and real – sometimes painfully so. The struggles within and between the couples are magnified in the intensity of the resort. Sometimes tensions stretch nearly to breaking point. But there’s also love and hope that shines off the page. I was genuinely rooting for the characters to work through their troubles end up happier and healthier for them.

And crucially, more often than not, the sex serves the plot, not the other way around. Without giving too much away, there’s a scene where a hitherto-straight man explores his interest in sex with another man. The result is in turns sexy, uncomfortable and ultimately gut-wrenching.

It’s also deliciously inclusive. I mentioned to Cooper that this novel is – sadly, one could say – more inclusive than the real-life swinger communities I’ve encountered thus far. There are gay and lesbian characters and bi men,  not just the endless straight-men-and-bi-women-only trope that is all too common in the swinging world. Characters of colour feature, as well as at least one trans character. There are older characters, younger characters, fat and skinny, able bodied and disabled. And there are a huge variety of sexual proclivities, preferences and levels of experience. I wish, how I wish, that the real life swinging community where I live was more like this. I’d probably have more sex if it was.

I would be remiss, too, to not mention how funny this book is. There’s a particularly hilarious incident about half way through involving an obnoxious podcast host and a jellyfish. And, of course, the banter between the major characters kept me giggling throughout. I’ve long stood by this sentiment and Cooper seems to agree: sex is hilarious and we shouldn’t take it overly seriously most of the time.

In short: I laughed. I cried. I wanked furiously. And now I’m telling you all to go out and buy this book so you can do the same.

Full disclosure: I received a free copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. This does not impact my views in any way which are, and will always be, my own. If you enjoyed this post and want to see more of my work, please consider becoming a patron or buying me a coffee.

[Toy Review] The “Wicked Game” Magic Wand by So Divine

The Wicked Game was a last-minute win at the end-of-Eroticon raffle, and I was excited to try it out as ‘wand’ style vibrators are always a firm favourite with me. This lovely little thing was no exception.

The So Divine Wicked Game, a purple magic wand style vibrator with a bulbous head and slightly curved body. Pictured boxed, left, and unboxed, right,

First, some facts…

It’s a small-ish wand compared to the heft of, say, a Hitachi or a Doxy. It measures about 9.5 inches from end to end, and has a gentle curve – that’s because it’s double ended, effectively making it both a clitoral wand and a G-spot vibrator in one. (Though, sadly, both cannot vibrate at the same time.) The head is about 1.5 inches across and the widest part of the insertable end is about the same, making it not super slimline but definitely not one for girth lovers. It’s waterproof and USB-rechargeable.

My experience…

I tried the Wicked Game out at the club with Mr CK, with him using it on me. For the purposes of full disclosure I should say I hadn’t had an orgasm for about 3 days before this session, but I’m not convinced that makes too much of a difference apart from possibly making me get off quicker than I would otherwise have. My cunt likes what it likes; it’s just a little more receptive when it’s been a while.

What I love about this toy is that it’s really versatile. Both ends vibrate (though not, as I mentioned, at the same time. You have to pick one or the other!) and one end is a traditional wand head while the other end is an insertable vibrating dildo. All in one toy! Nice, no? It also has ten different vibration modes – 3 constant speed settings and 7 pulsing patterns.

I don’t often like patterns of vibration – give me the constant setting any day! That said, some of the Wicked Game’s patterns are surprisingly enjoyable. My favourite is the pulse setting that ramps slowly up, hits a peak and then drops down again. I love being teased (or teasing myself) into a frenzy and this setting does exactly that. For a quicker orgasm, though, the highest of the 3 constant speeds is definitely my preferred setting.

Now this is where things get really interesting. Mr CK made me come with this toy – twice in an afternoon – really easily. Normally, someone else getting me to come is pretty difficult (possible, but difficult,) even if they’re using a toy I really love. Again: picky cunt. I love my Doxy more than life – it is my favourite toy and one of my favourite possessions, period. But I come a lot more reliably when I use it on myself than when someone else holds it. Yet the Wicked Game is less powerful, but for some reason seems much more effective in giving me orgasms when in someone else’s hands.

My theory is thus: the Doxy is SUPER CRAZY POWERFUL, to the point that if it’s in the wrong spot – even slightly – it can become unpleasant or even painful extremely quickly. When I’m holding it myself, I know exactly what my body needs and can react accordingly, but my partners – wonderful and attuned to me though they are – do not actually live in my head. Or my clitoris. The Wicked Game, though pretty powerful itself, is significantly gentler than the mains-powered wands and so I can squirm against it, adjust it if needed, and let my partner know if it needs moving to a different spot before it becomes painful or unpleasant and throws me off my ‘groove.’

In short, I think this toy might be the sweet spot where “powerful enough to make me come” meets “gentle enough to have someone else use on me without discomfort.” I would recommend this for any vulva-owning person who likes vibrations, and I would particularly suggest it as a perfect first vibrator because the experience is so very customisable. Don’t know if you like internal or external stimulation, hard persistent vibrations or soft pulsing? No problem – with this, you can try them all out with one toy.

Incidentally: it’s also one of those rare toys that advertises itself as quiet and is actually quiet. I gave up caring about people knowing I’m wanking years ago, but this feature might be of interest to those of you with roommates and/or family at home.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
At £54.99 RRP it’s not a steal and may be outside of some budgets, but it’s still cheaper than some of the really high-end toys on the market and with the amount of functions it comes with, it’s well worth the price. Weirdly enough, you can buy them from Ocado grocery delivery service in the UK, which just cracks me the fuck up. So Divine products come with a two-year warranty. I haven’t had any cause to use it, so I can’t speak for their customer service, but they get 4.5 stars out of 5 on Trustpilot, so I’m going to go ahead and say you can probably order from them with confidence.

Materials: ★★★★★
Lovely silicon. Soft, smooth and SAFE. Gorgeous.

Appearance: ★★★★★
It’s a lovely, classy and stylish looking toy that comes in pink or purple colour options. Mine, of course, is purple. (My understanding is that the pink version is called Sweetest Taboo instead of Wicked Game, but is functionally identical.)

Ease of Use: ★★★★
The buttons are a little hard to press – especially in the, uh, throes of passion – but apart from that, the controls are pretty intuitive. There is an on/off button and buttons to cycle through the settings and switch between the internal and external settings. Nice and simple. Plus it’s light, so easy to hold – a good choice for someone who wants a wand style toy but would find holding a really heavy one difficult.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
Easy to wipe clean between uses – I recommend a body-safe sterile wipe available in bulk from medical suppliers. It’s waterproof, too, so can be submerged in water for a more thorough cleaning. For safer sex purposes if you share your toys, it’s condom-friendly in shape and material.

Versatility: ★★★★★
The Wicked Game has two ends, one insertable and one external, and ten different settings – 3 speeds and seven pulse patterns. Totally versatile depending on what you like and what you’re in the mood for today. It’s also waterproof, if wanking in the bath is your thing. Pro-tip: though it’s designed for vulvas, many penis-owners really enjoy vibrations on the head or shaft of their cock. Mr CK heartily endorses this toy for that purpose!

Intensity: ★★★★★
I’ve given this 5 stars even though it’s not as intense as I typically like my vibes, for the aforementioned reason of hitting the sweet spot between “meh, not intense enough” and “DON’T MOVE IT A MILLIMETRE OR IT WILL HURT.”

Overall Score: ★★★★★
Yeah, I love this vibe and, apart from wishing the head and shaft could vibrate at the same time, I can’t find any significant downsides. I think it’s going to become my favourite vibrator to use with a partner.

Go get yourself one.

Note: I won this toy and reviewed it because I was excited about it. I did not receive any payment or free products in exchange for this review and all opinions, as ever, are my own. If you’d like to support me, please consider becoming a sexy patron or buying me a virtual coffee.