[Toy Review] Fifty Shades Freed ‘Lavish Attention’ Vibrator

First, let’s address the elephant in the room.

I thought long and hard (stop snickering at the back!) about whether or not to request, or accept, any of Lovehoney’s new Fifty Shades Freed line of toys for review after attending their recent affiliate product showcase. In the end, I made a balanced decision that yes, I would review this line. Let me tell you why.

A close up of an elephant. For a review of the Fifty Shades Freed Lavish Attention vibrator.

To say I have issues with the Fifty Shades franchise is an understatement. I believe those books are not just poorly written and questionably researched portrayals of bad BDSM – I actually believe they’re really harmful. The way they’re written, and marketed, passes off stalking, psychological abuse, disregard for consent and even rape as romantic. Check out Jenny Trout’s series or my friend Christine’s blog if you would like to learn why more and more sex-positive feminists are speaking out against this series.

However. A terrible first introduction though it is, more and more people are finding BDSM and the kink and sex-positive communities via this franchise. They read the book or watch the film and get turned on by all the kinky sex. “I want to do that!” they think. Okay. So where do they go? Maybe they search online. If they’re lucky, they’ll find brilliant educational blogs. If they poke around for any length of time in the internet kinkosphere, they’ll probably land on Fetlife sooner or later. They might come to a munch. And they might go and buy a sex toy, possibly for the first time ever.

The seasoned kinksters among us may roll our eyes each February when the newest film brings the influx of “the Fifty Shades crowd” to our online spaces or our local munch. But if we do not welcome these people, we are doing them a great disservice. If we push them away or look down on them, we’re completely failing to live up to our purported values of inclusion, respect and community. Not only that, but pushing them away means they’re more likely to practice kink in unsafe and uninformed ways, imitating what they’ve read in that trilogy. If we welcome them in, they will have access to tremendous resources of knowledge, experience and education. I’ve seen plenty of people who came to kink via Fifty Shades grow into fantastic, skilled, responsible kinksters.

People who come to kink via less-than-ideal source material deserve resources and information. They deserve support, a loving community and the same access to education that every single one of us needed when we were new, regardless of our route into the community.

They also deserve safe and quality toys.

The way I see it, the majority of people who are likely to gravitate towards Fifty Shades branded toys will probably fall closer to the “new/inexperienced” end of the demographic spectrum. They may never have purchased a vibrator or dildo before in their life! They’ll probably be completely overwhelmed by the sheer quantity and variety of toys on offer. If Fifty Shades was their way in – or even if it wasn’t, but it’s still the main current cultural touchstone for “kinky sex” – they may well gravitate towards these branded toys. People feel comforted by the familiar.

This, in a nutshell, is why I am glad that Lovehoney have made this Fifty Shades Freed line in the way they have. Having seen most of the products in the flesh (um, as it were,) I feel happy to say they’re a body-safe, user-friendly and just flat out good quality line of toys. I’m glad that inexperienced folks, new to the world of sex toys, are going to get quality products and not some shitty jelly-rubber, phthalate-ridden piece of crap when they Google “Fifty Shades sex toys”. (And yes, this is the first link that comes up when you do that search. I checked.)

With that out of the way… what did I think of the actual toy?

The |Lovehoney Fifty Shades Freed Lavish Attention vibrator. A half moon shaped vibrator with a handle in a lovely plum colour;.The Lavish Attention vibrator is a dual clitoral and G-spot toy. Its shape is like a half moon on top of a handle. The internal part is nice and slim, with a circumference of about 4 inches at the widest part, and flexible. When this is inserted, the external part – which is more rigid – rests against the clitoris. Both vibrate. The Lavish Attention has 3 constant vibration speeds and 7 patterns. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof, travel-lockable, and comes with a handy – and stylish – purple storage bag.

I loved using it. I wasn’t sure I would, as dual-stim toys often aren’t very effective for me, but I like to broaden my horizons and expand my preferences. Personally, I found the shape and size of the Lavish Attention perfect to comfortably stimulate both my G-spot and clitoris without much weird maneuvering required.

Unusually, I enjoyed the vibration patterns on this toy. I think having internal stimulation slightly changes how my clitoris responds to things, though I am still figuring out exactly how this works. There are some caveats – read on for those! – but I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend the Lavish Attention to anyone looking for a good quality dual-stim toy.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
This toy retails at Lovehoney – currently the exclusive carrier! – for £54.99. This puts it squarely into the mid-price bracket, and in my opinion it’s reasonable value for the quality. I note that Lovehoney have a stellar returns policy.

Materials: ★★★★★
I can’t praise this enough. It’s premium quality matte silicone and feels absolutely gorgeous. It’s the kind of toy you just want to stroke again and again because it feels so lovely.

Appearance: ★★★★
One of the big plus points for the whole Freed range, for me, is how pretty they are. They’re all the same plum silicone with rose gold accents. The look is classy, sensual and sexy as fuck. If it didn’t have the Fifty Shades logo emblazoned upon it, it would be the perfect aesthetic for a sex toy in my opinion.

Ease of Use: ★★★
I generally find dual-stim vibes take some practice and some experimentation to find the best position to use them. This was no exception. I also found it slightly awkward to hold due to the positioning of the handle. It is nice and light, which is a big plus and particularly relevant for anyone who struggles to hold heavier toys due to disability or injury. My biggest gripe is that you can’t turn the speed and pattern settings down – if you want to get back to the previous setting, you have to cycle alllllll the way back through.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
You can clean the Lavish Attention, as with any silicone toy, with a sterile body-safe wipe. These are available cheaply in bulk from medical suppliers. This toy is completely waterproof which means you can submerge it to clean. The internal piece can easily be covered with a condom, but it’s not so easy to use with a barrier externally.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Lavish Attention has 3 speeds and 7 patterns, making it nice and versatile whichever you prefer. One feature I would have liked would be the option to control the internal and external vibrations independently of each other. The shape makes it safe for anal use, and I imagine the external stimulator could feel really nice against the perineum during anal play if that’s your jam. It is fully waterproof, so safe for bathtime play.

Intensity:
★★★★
As ever, please remember I am the biggest Power Queen who ever Power Queened. The vibrations were more than adequate and got me off, but I would have liked one or two higher settings. Considering that my preferred power level is “Doxy on speed,” though, I might be an outlier here. The vibration quality is a little buzzy, but not numbingly so.

Overall Score: ★★★★
A very solid dual-stim toy which I enjoyed using. Not perfect, but perfect doesn’t exist anyway. I’ve marked it up for being body-safe, fully waterproof, gorgeous looking and relatively quiet. It lost a few points for the annoying lack of a “down” control.

I don’t recommend this toy to lovers of girth – it’s definitely slimline – or those who can’t stand their vibrations being even slightly buzzy. But if you’re looking for a good quality, mid-priced clitoral and G-spot toy from a trustworthy retailer, and don’t mind the Fifty Shades branding, I suggest giving Lavish Attention a try!

The good folks at Lovehoney sent me the Lavish Attention vibrator in exchange for an honest review. This in no way affects my opinions which are, and will always be, entirely my own. Buying your sexy products through Lovehoney helps support me with a small commission and keep the blog going.

Elephant image is courtesy of Pixabay, a fab source of copyright-free images. Toy image belongs to Lovehoney and is reproduced here with their kind permission.

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Desire Butterfly Hands-Free Vibrator

I love anything a bit unusual and different when it comes to sex toys. That’s why, when my friends over at Lovehoney offered me the product of my choice from the new Desire range to test and report on, I was immediately drawn to this one.

Facts ‘n’ Figures

The Butterfly is part of the new Lovehoney Desire range of luxury toys. I tested the clitoral pebble vibe a few months ago from the same range. The Butterfly is a wearable vibe which rests against the vulva and is held in place with a strap around each leg and one around the hips.

The underside of the Lovehoney Desire Butterfly, a purple vibe which is flat escept for a small raised ridge where the head of the Butterfly would be. Black elastic straps are attached.

It’s a smallish vibe, 4.2 inches in length. The underside (pictured right) is flat and smooth except for a bump of around 1 inch which sits against the clitoris. The harness is super adjustable, with a maximum width of 40 inches around the hips. I have wide hips and I found it very comfortable to wear.

The storage cases for Lovehoney's Desire products. A black square zip up case with the Lovehoney heart logo.

It’s remote-controlled. The vibe itself is rechargeable via USB, and the remote control takes one watch-style battery, which should last ages. All Desire toys come in their own stylish black case (pictured right) which is perfect for storage and travel. The Butterfly even features a travel lock, so no worries about it accidentally turning on in your bag!

 

My Experience

It took me a bit of experimentation to get the Butterfly to sit correctly against my body. I had to adjust the straps a few times to figure out the best placing for them so that the lovely ridge rested against my clit. After a few minutes and some very attractive wiggling in and out of bits of elastic, I found a position that worked and settled down with some smut for a nice wank.

The Butterfly has 8 patterns and 12 speeds, but I just wacked it up to “constant vibration, highest speed,” because that’s how my bits roll. I also realised, not for the first time, that entirely hands-free stimulation, while nice, very rarely makes me come. I prefer to have the toy I’m using pressed somewhat firmly against my vulva so I can grind against it. So I ended up pushing it against my body with one hand. This wasn’t really a problem for me, and wouldn’t be necessary for someone who doesn’t need such firm pressure in order to get off.

I found the Butterfly’s vibrations impressively strong for its size. Not strong enough to get me off in record time in the way a wand can, but thoroughly enjoyable for a nice slow wank! It took me about 40 minutes to go from “cold” to “orgasm” with the Butterfly. This would be a long time for some people but is quite normal for me if I’m not worked up before I start, especially with a toy I’ve never used before.

In conclusion: I really enjoyed this toy.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The Butterfly retails on Lovehoney for £74.99, which puts it at the higher end of the Desire toys’ price-range. It won’t be in everyone’s budget for this reason. However, the difference in quality from lower-priced toys, including Lovehoney’s own budget range, is noticeable. These toys look and feel luxurious. Overall, worth the price.

Materials: ★★★★★
The entire body of the Butterfly – AND the remote – are silky soft silicone. Silicone is my favourite because it’s non-porous, phthalate-free and completely body-safe. I recommend water-based lube with silicone toys (and just in general because it’s gentler on your body.)

Appearance: ★★★★★
It’s super cute and actually looks like a little butterfly! It also, if I do say so myself, looks really pretty when it’s on. It’s the same purple as the whole Desire range, which is a lovely colour and provides a really nice, classy look.

Ease of Use: ★★★
This one definitely took some practice. The interface is simple – you switch on the toy with a single button on the body, and then use the remote control to cycle through the settings. There are three buttons – speed up, speed down, and change pattern. It’s the positioning that can be a struggle at first. I suggest taking your time to experiment, try different positions for your body and the toy, and be prepared to adjust the straps a few times to make it work for you.

A quick note for anyone who, like me, has a natural bush: the straps do have a tendency to trap stray pubes if you’re not careful! Watch out for this if you don’t want a non-consensual wax job courtesy of your sex toy.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
Being pure silicone, the Butterfly can be cleaned with a sterile wipe (try the kind from medical suppliers, but make sure they’re body safe)! It’s waterproof, so you can submerge it fully in water to clean it thoroughly. The straps come off easily so they can stay dry when you wash the toy. Not condom compatible. You could use a barrier like a dental dam, if you want to share and are cautious about infection transmission.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Butterfly has 8 pattern settings and 12 speeds, so whatever you’re into, there will be a setting for you. It’s great for solo play, but could also enhance pleasure during intercourse. I’m already planning to wear it next time Mr CK bends me over the bed and fucks me from behind! Another way to use it with a partner would be to give your lover the remote and let them control the toy. It is waterproof, but I’m not sure I would bother using it in water as it seems like the straps would be a pain to dry.

Intensity:
★★★★
Not at all bad for the size. I would have preferred them a touch stronger and rumblier, personally. But they were more than adequate to bring me to orgasm.

Overall Score: ★★★★
A really nice little toy. I’d recommend it to folks who like gentler clitoral stimulation, and to anyone looking for something they can enjoy solo and with a partner. It’s also a great choice for anyone who needs a hands-free or low-energy toy for pain or mobility reasons.

Go get yourself one, and don’t forget to use code COFFKINK10 at checkout for 10% off!

Thank you to my affiliates at Lovehoney, who sent me this toy in exchange for an honest review. If you use one of my links to buy, I may make a small commission. This does not in any way affect my views which are, and will always be, my own.

The images featured in this post are property of Lovehoney and are reproduced here with their kind permission.

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation

Every time I review or indeed use a Satisfyer toy now, I end up with ‘Satisfied’ from Hamilton going around in my head. I still really want a musical theatre parody about sex toys. Anyone want to write this for/with me?

This is really not the review I was expecting to write. A few months ago, I tried the original Satisfyer Pro 2. I really didn’t get on with it at all. Looking back now, I’m not sure if I was just doing it wrong (for the value of “wrong” that means “in a way that didn’t work for my body”) or if the Next Generation model is THAT great of an improvement on the original. I might need to go back and re-test the original and possibly revise my opinion. Or not. For now, let’s just go with: I tried the Pro 2 Next Generation and I loved it!

The Satisfyer Pro 2, for a product review

If you’re not familiar with Satisfyer toys, they boast what they call “pressure wave stimulation”. Essentially, you put the nozzle end around your clitoris and the toy provides “touch free orgasms” via rapid air pulses. Some vulva-owners say it makes them come in less than a minute. Others describe it as like having the orgasm forcibly ripped from their body. For me, it’s neither. Instead, both times I’ve used it, it was a slow build to a gradual but hyper-intense orgasm that left me with jelly legs for the next half an hour.

Some people describe these toys as “oral sex simulators,” but I can’t feel the resemblance at all. This isn’t a bad thing (oral is fun and all, but rarely gets me off) but you might want to reconsider if getting an authentic oral sex-like experience is important to you.

The Satisfyer Pro 2, for a product review

The Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation has a bigger nozzle than the Pro Penguin, which I recently tested and also enjoyed, so if you’ve got a bigger clitoris or like a slightly larger area stimulated, the Pro 2 would be a better choice over the Penguin (whereas I’d recommend you choose the Penguin if you prefer a bit more of a pinpoint sensation.)

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★
It retails on LoveHoney for £69.99, which is not a horrendous price for a high-end sex toy. It’s also cheaper than the Womanizer toys (which start at £84.99.) That said, it’s a lot of money for a toy that doesn’t necessarily work for every vulva. But I suppose you take that risk with anything new! Lovehoney, incidentally, have a fantastic returns policy.

Materials: ★★★★★
The nozzle, which is the only bit that makes direct contact with the vulva, is silicone, which is body safe, non toxic and non-porous. (Yay silicone!) The body is plastic.

Appearance: ★★★★
Satisfyer’s toys are usually quite pretty (except the Penguin, which is just plain CUTE.) The Pro 2 Next Generation is a lovely rose-gold colour, which I think is fast becoming the new pink. (I’m fully on board with this, if I never see another neon pink sex toy it will be too soon.)

Ease of Use: ★★★
Definitely takes some practice to get it in the spot that will work for your body. One of the most noticeable improvements to the Next Generation model is how much easier the buttons are to press! I found the original’s buttons frustratingly difficult and they often stuck, but this newer model has done away with that issue almost entirely.

The other issue they’ve fixed – YESSSSS – is the issue of having to cycle through all 11 settings to get back to the previous one. On the Next Generation, the simple up/down controls mean you can dial it back a speed if you want to, without having to go all the way through (which I found threw me totally off my rhythm.) I’m delighted with these improvements. The Pro 2 Next Generation is quite heavy, so I don’t recommend it for people who like or need very light toys.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The head is detachable and you can purchase replacements (which, incidentally, come in two subtly different designs!) Being pure silicone, you can wash them with soap and hot water or boil for complete sterilising. The nozzle is bound to trap some lube and fluids. Though it isn’t possible to boil sterilise the whole toy, it is waterproof so you can submerge it for a thorough cleaning. This is a toy that you cannot realistically use with barriers of any kind. For this reason, I would recommend only sharing with a partner you’re fluid bonded to, or giving it a good thorough wash and changing the head between users. I would have given this section an extra star if they’d included a spare head or two with the toy.

Versatility: ★★★
You can really only use it in one way, but that’s okay for a toy that does what it does well! It has eleven different speed settings and is completely waterproof, so you can use it in the bath or shower. (Not being an underwater wanker, though, I have no idea how that would feel. Would it change the sensation!?)

Intensity: ★★★★
My initial reaction to any Satisfyer, when I turn it on, is “this is too weak to do anything.” (Power Queen over here, #SorryNotSorry!) However: I really can’t grade it in the same way because it doesn’t function in the same way as a straightforward vibrator. The type of stimulation is completely different. Notably: the Pro 2 Next Generation and Pro Penguin Next Generation are the only toys currently in my collection that I DON’T just ramp up to max and leave there. Even the lower settings are quite pleasurable. A final note: another improvement on the original Pro 2 model is that this one is noticeably quieter. It’s not silent, but when it’s pressed against the body you’d struggle to hear it in the next room unless your walls are made of paper.

Overall Score: ★★★★
Some major issues with the original model ironed out, Satisfyer have delivered a lovely toy that delivered deliciously intense orgasms. A great choice for anyone who is into suction/air-wave based toys.

This toy was provided to me by Satisfyer in exchange for an honest review. This post contains an affiliate link to Lovehoney and if you buy through it, I make a small commission. This does not affect my views on the product which are, and will always be, my own.

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation

After my less than ‘Satisfying’ go with the original Satisfyer Pro 2 a few months back, I approached the Pro Penguin Next Generation with a healthy degree of skepticism. This is probably why it’s been sitting on top of my pile of “to review” sex toys in the living room for the last week until today it eventually guilted me into testing it.

(What? Yes, I keep a pile of sex toys in my living room. Doesn’t everyone?)

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation, a suction based sex toy that looks like a little penguin wearing a pink bow-tie. For a review post.

Cute little thing, isn’t he? (“It looks like a penguin!” said Mr CK, when I showed him the toy without telling him what it was called.)

So how did I get on?

Like all Satisfyer toys, the Pro Penguin Next Generation uses a suction nozzle and pressure waves of air to create stimulation to the clitoris which feels sort of like vibration only… different. Basically, the idea is that the waves stimulate the clit without actually touching it. This means you get none of the numbness or tingling that can occasionally accompany use of more traditional vibrating toys.

So, I applied a little water-based lube (Sliquid, always and forever the only lube I will unreservedly recommend to everyone!) to the nozzle, applied it to my clit, opened up the porn and set to, erm, work. My first reaction upon switching the Penguin on was that it’s a little loud. But the sound is dampened a lot (read: almost entirely) once the toy is applied to the body.

To begin with, I must admit I was underwhelmed. Pleasant sensations one second became too intense – so intense as to be painful – remarkably quickly. It’s so precise that the slightest shift in position threw me off my game. This is definitely a toy that takes some practice.

Here’s a thing you should know about me: I always, always, always wank lying on my bed, either flat on my back or slightly propped up against some pillows, with my legs spread wide. I wank left handed (shout out to my fellow lefties!) and depending on the toy I’m using, I usually use my right hand to spread my labia to enable easier application of a toy to my clitoris – or more accurately, the hood or underside, as direct contact on my clitoral glans is usually painful for me. So naturally, I went to this trusty position. The problem, then, was positioning the toy so that it caught the right area without catching the “so intense it hurts” area.

But today I discovered something cool. Turns out I can masturbate with my legs nearly closed! At least, that’s how the Pro Penguin Next Generation worked for me. I don’t quite know why – maybe something to do with bringing all those yummy sensitive bits closer together under the suction cup instead of having them spread out? But it turns out that applying it GENTLY to my clitoral area with my legs almost completely closed was the magic button for me. Once I’d found this, the Penguin brought me to a slow-build, sheet-clutching, oh-my-godddddd orgasm that Mr CK could hear from several rooms away.

Ooof. I guess this suction toy thing can work for me after all. Who knew?

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
It’s currently retailing at Simply Pleasure for £59.95. This will be out of budget for some, for sure, but it’s not an obscene price for a luxury and well-made toy. Satisfyer have consistently lower prices than their main competitor, Womanizer, whose toys start at £84.99.

Materials: ★★★★★
The nozzle piece which makes contact with the genitals is silicone, and the body is coated in the same material. This makes the Pro Penguin Next Generation entirely body-safe as well as a pleasure to hold.

Appearance: ★★★★
It looks like a little penguin, which is super cute but also a bit baffling. I really wish I’d been a fly on the wall of the Marketing meeting where someone went, “we’ve got this brilliant new sex toy technology. You know what would make this product even better? Let’s make it look like a PENGUIN”. Still, the sheer adorableness makes it non-threatening, it’s not pink, and it has a little bow-tie which I find hilarious, so let’s go with it.

Ease of Use: ★★★
As outlined above, it definitely takes some work to figure out exactly the right spot to place it for your particular body. My advice when using a suction toy, especially if you’re new to them, is to try to throw out preconceptions about what your body likes and where/how you like stimulation. These toys might feel superficially a bit like vibrators, but they’re actually quite different.

The Pro Penguin Next Generation is small and not too heavy. The shape of the body means it fit nicely into my much-smaller-than-average hand. The main button on the front switches the toy on and off as well as controlling the speed, and is nice and easy to press. A really nice feature this toy has, which was lacking in the original Pro 2, is the ability to turn it down as well as up without cycling through all the settings.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★
The silicone nozzle tip is removable, which is really nice. That meant I could simply wash it with hot water and soap in the bathroom. I did get some sex fluids on the end of the body of the toy, but that was easy to clean with a sterile wipe. It’s possible that the open nozzle could harbor bacteria, so be extra thorough when cleaning it. It is waterproof so could be submerged for a more thorough cleaning.

The toy cannot be used with a condom or any kind of barrier, but the nozzle ends are changeable and you can buy extras. It would be easy to swap them if sharing with a non fluid-bonded partner. One thing that would have been nice would be to have a couple of spare nozzles included with the toy.

Versatility: ★★★
It basically does one thing, but that’s okay because it does it well! You can easily ramp the intensity setting up and down to suit. The toy is waterproof which means it can be used in the bath or shower. (Not being a bath-wanker, though, I have no idea how well this works or if the water affects how the pressure waves feel.)

Intensity: ★★★★
When I first turned the Pro Penguin Next Generation up to max, I thought, “this thing isn’t going to do anything”. (Remember, I am the world’s biggest Power Queen.) I was wrong. Remember: it’s not a vibrator, not as such. It works differently. Even at the lower speeds the sensation was meaningful. When I turned it up to maximum speed it delivered a lovely, intense-but-sensual kind of stimulation. I’ve heard some people say it resembles oral sex. Not any oral sex I’ve ever had, but I can kind-of-sort-of see what they’re getting at. This thing caresses your clitoris.

Overall Score: ★★★★
A fun and playful toy that requires some experimentation, but with perseverance delivered a great orgasm. Recommended to anyone who wants to try a suction-based toy, especially those new to them.

This toy was provided to me by Satisfyer in exchange for an honest review. This does not in any way affect my views on the product which are, and will always be, my own. This post contains an affiliate link.

[Toy Review] Evolved Novelties Silicone Silky “G”

One of the criticisms I often hear around the movement for body-safe and well made sex toys is that they’re unaffordable for a lot of people. I do not believe this is true. You can find good quality and safe products for no more money than a lot of the unsafe, toxic and porous toys on the market – you just need to know where to look.

That’s why, after shipping charges scuppered the intention to review a higher priced toy, I was actually quite glad to have the opportunity to test something at a lower price-point. The lovely folks at new women-focused US online retailer Amanda & Eve sent me the Silicone Silky “G” by Evolved Novelties.

The Evolved Novelties silky silicone G out of its case. A blue vibrator with a curved tip. The blue Evolved Novelties Silky Silicone G in its plastic case

First, some facts ‘n’ stats…

The “G” is a blue silicone, battery-operated G-spot vibrator with three constant vibration speeds (no patterns.) It’s 1.5 inches in diameter and the insertable part is 7.5 inches long, making it a poor choice for girth queens but a good option for those who like slimline vibes or slightly deeper penetration. Like most silicone toys, it’s got some flexibility which makes for easy, smooth insertion and a sensation that isn’t too rigid. The end curves pleasingly, which stimulated my G-spot very nicely when inserted, and also doubles up for pinpoint clitoral stimulation.

A quick note: there is some confusion on different retailers about what batteries this toy takes. I can confirm it’s definitely 2 AAA batteries.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
This toy retails at $28.99 (about £22.50) and at the time of writing is on sale for $14.99 through Amanda & Eve for North American readers. This is a fantastic price for the quality of product, especially as it’s pure silicone.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s made of matte-finish silicone, making it completely body-safe, non-porous and hypoallergenic. Points all around and kudos to Evolved Novelties for listening to their customers and creating safe toys that are still affordable. As always, use water-based lube for silicone toys.

Appearance: ★★★★
It is NOT PINK, which automatically earns points from me, and it comes nicely presented in a sturdy plastic case. (Pictured above.) It’s also available in purple.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
It’s a little heavy for the size (4.3 oz,) which wasn’t an issue for me but might make it a poor choice if holding something with a bit of weight would be an issue for you. Other than that, it fits snugly in my hand and the button to cycle through the speed settings is easy to press and located on the base of the toy.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★
The shape and smooth silicone surface mean it’s easy to clean down with a sterile wipe. It’s also waterproof so you can submerge it fully in water for a more thorough cleaning. There is a “seam” down the middle, presumably from the mold – common in lower priced silicone toys. This could harbour bacteria – so do take particularly thorough care of this when cleaning. Easy to pop a condom over for extra safety if you’re particularly concerned or sharing your toy.

Versatility: ★★★★
It has three speeds, which isn’t that many compared to some vibes on the market which may have 10-2o speeds or “patterns”. I’m struggling to mark it down for this, though, because the “constant vibration” setting is always my favourite anyway. The three levels mean you can choose the intensity of vibration that works for you. It’s waterproof if you want to use it in the bath or shower. Though it’s designed as a G-spot toy (and functions as one admirably!) I also really liked this vibe as a clitoral stimulator. The shape of the tip is just perfect for precision stimulation. It doesn’t have a flared base, so please don’t use it anally.

Intensity: ★★★★
The vibrations, though a little buzzy for my taste, went deep enough to get me off in a reasonable timeframe and are impressively strong for such a cheap toy – especially as I’ve used much more expensive toys with lower strength of vibration. Not recommended for serious power queens, but otherwise I have no complaints.

Overall Score: ★★★★
Not at all bad for the price. Though it’s not perfect, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this toy to someone looking for a decent vibe at a lower price-point.


I received a free product and small fee from Amanda & Eve in exchange for an honest review. This in no way affects my views on the product which are, and always will be, entirely my own. I do not make a commission from any links in this post.

The images featured in this post come from Amanda & Eve’s website and are kindly reproduced here with their permission.

[Toy Review] Idee du Desir Orchid 1001 Nights Wooden Dildo

I love luxury toys. Like, really really love them. Stainless steel, glass, beautiful high-grade silicone… bring it on. What I hadn’t tried until now, though, was a wooden toy. So when I had the chance to buy this lovely piece from Idee du Desir from the lovely Brunette Reviews I obviously jumped at the chance.The Idee du Desir Orchid 1001 Nights dildo for a review post. Pictured with an orchid flower.
Unreservedly, I loved the 1001 Nights dildo. It looks and feels gorgeous. For my body at least, the curve is just right to hit my g-spot and get me the fuck off. I come really easily from good g-spot stimulation, but straight toys don’t always quite do the job. This, though? It’s wonderful. I smeared it with a little water-based lube and it slid in beautifully with no friction at all. I came three times in two minutes.

My ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
This is not a cheap toy. At €90 (about £78 at time of writing) it’s definitely at the higher end for a dildo. However, it’s so beautifully made and feels so lovely that I’m going to say it’s definitely worth the price if you can afford to splash out a bit.

Appearance: ★★★★★
Just look at it. It’s beautiful! Available in 3 different woods – walnut, birch or maple – each 1001 Nights dildo is finished with a gold powder which offers a subtle shimmer. This toy is the height of classy.

Feel: ★★★★★
The surface is perfectly smooth with no imperfections and the ridges on the head are the ideal depth – defined enough to feel but not bumpy enough to be painful when inserted. The curve is just right for G-spot pressure. The wood has the pleasing rigidity of glass or steel without the coldness that can accompany them. It delivers lovely pressure to my g-spot and is not too girthy (just under 4cm at the widest point,) which was ideal for me as I find a lot of girth combined with rigidity to be painful – if you’re a length person, this toy is perfect for you. If girth is important to you, it might not be for you.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
The 1001 Nights dildo is lovely to hold and extremely light – looking at it, you’d expect it to be heavy, but the whole thing weighs around 80g. This was a real perk for me but may be a downside for you if you prefer a heftier weight to your toys. The handle at the end makes it lovely and easy to hold, though I found it easier to wrap my hand around the handle rather than put my fingers through the holes as was presumably intended. To be fair, I do have freaky-small hands and someone with bigger hands would probably find it more convenient to stick their fingers in the holes. Mr CK has average hands and can hold it comfortably this way.

Care, Cleaning & Body Safety: ★★★★
I’m just going to take a moment here to bust some myths – n0, you cannot get a splinter from a properly-made wooden sex toy, and no, they’re not necessarily porous. They’re sanded down to within an inch of their life and then varnished. Idee du Desir use several layers of a hypoallergenic, food-grade varnish, making the toys totally body safe. Wooden toys are safe to use with any kind of non-toxic lubricant (I always recommend water-based.)

The 1001 Nights dildo can be washed with soap and water or a medical-grade sterile wipe. It’s a good shape to use with a condom so you can safely share it in a non-fluid bonded situation. The place this toy does fall down on safety is by having the company name inscribed upon the base. This makes it far too easy for lube or body-fluids to get into the inscribing, which is a nightmare to clean and really difficult to be sure it’s totally sanitised.

Overall score: ★★★★
Overall, the 1001 Nights dildo is an attractive, safe and pleasurable toy which was a joy to use. If you like slimline dildos, super light toys, rigidity or intense g-spot pressure combined with easy thrusting, this is for you. Again, if you want lots of girth or something with more weight, maybe skip it. Based on this item, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend Idee du Desir items to anyone with a g-spot.

This post was the first of my Smutathon 2017 posts.

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator

This toy comes to me courtesy of my friend TigerStripes, whose podcast Kinky Discussions you should totally check out!

 The back of the Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator in purple The front and buttons of the Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator in purple

This toy has a lot to recommend it. I’m a big fan of Lovehoney – they mainly avoid gimmicks, have a solid returns policy, and provide good quality toys at reasonable prices, with quick and discreet delivery. I bought my first ever sex toy (a tiny bullet vibe) from them nine years ago and I still go to them for the majority of my sexy needs.

The Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator is a nice simple little clitoral vibrator. It’s USB rechargeable and waterproof. The front has 3 buttons – on/turn up, setting change, and off/turn down. It’s around 3 inches long and is inflexible but very soft. It also comes in an attractive and discreet case.

The end curves to a soft point which is perfect for those who prefer their clitoral stimulation direct and focused, or you can also use the rounder end for a more generalised sensation. For me, it actually worked best when I pressed it side on to my clit, but your mileage – and body – may vary. It has 8 different modes or ‘patterns’ of vibration. As is usual for me, I preferred the constant vibration turned on high, but it’s worth experimenting to see what works best for you. The ramp-up-then-back-down setting is perfect for a slow tease!

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
Full disclosure: I got this at less than retail price from my friend. It retails at £59.99, which is definitely out of some budgets but worth spending for a good toy if you can afford it.

Materials: ★★★★★
The Desire Clitoral Vibe is made of beautiful soft silicone with a matte finish and contains no latex or phthalates, which means it’s body-safe and also suitable for anyone with a latex allergy, as well as feeling absolutely gorgeous.

Appearance: ★★★★
I can’t fault the design – it’s small and cute and it comes in either pink or purple. I do wish sex toys were more widely available in a greater range of colours, but that’s a gripe with the industry as a whole.

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
Very light, ergonomically designed and fits well in my tiny hand. This is a real plus as I sometimes struggle to hold and manipulate bigger toys for the 20+ minutes it can take me to get off. The buttons are easy to press and it’s so self-explanatory that I haven’t even opened the instruction booklet.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
Easy to clean with a sterile wipe available from medical suppliers, or some toy cleaner available from most sex toy shops (read the ingredients! Sometimes toy cleaners contain nasty unsafe chemicals.) It’s waterproof and silicone, so can be totally submerged for a full cleaning.  It’s not the obvious shape to use with a condom, but as always I recommend doing so if you’re sharing your toys with a non fluid-bonded partner. You could also use a barrier like a dental dam if it’s easier.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Desire Clitoral Vibe comes with 8 functions and the constant vibration speed can be turned up or down. It can be positioned against your clitoris in different ways depending on where you like your vibrations focussed. It’s waterproof, so you can use it in the bath or shower if that’s your thing. Not suitable for internal use.

Intensity: ★★★
This is really the only place this toy falls down. I would have liked it to go a notch or two more powerful. That said, it did get me off, it just took longer than it would with a higher powered vibe. Good if you have a sensitive clit and find the Doxys and Hitachis of this world too overwhelming.

Overall Score: ★★★★
Overall, I really like this toy from the new Desire range and I’m happy to recommend it. I’m giving it 4 ★s instead of 5 only because, as mentioned above, it could stand to be a touch more powerful.

Recommended for newbies and toy lovers alike. Not a good choice for serious power queens.

I bought this toy for myself from a friend and chose to review it here for informational purposes. This post contains affiliate links and if you buy through one, I may make a small commission. All opinions are, and will always be, my own.