[Toy Review] Fifty Shades Freed ‘Lavish Attention’ Vibrator

First, let’s address the elephant in the room.

I thought long and hard (stop snickering at the back!) about whether or not to request, or accept, any of Lovehoney’s new Fifty Shades Freed line of toys for review after attending their recent affiliate product showcase. In the end, I made a balanced decision that yes, I would review this line. Let me tell you why.

A close up of an elephant. For a review of the Fifty Shades Freed Lavish Attention vibrator.

To say I have issues with the Fifty Shades franchise is an understatement. I believe those books are not just poorly written and questionably researched portrayals of bad BDSM – I actually believe they’re really harmful. The way they’re written, and marketed, passes off stalking, psychological abuse, disregard for consent and even rape as romantic. Check out Jenny Trout’s series or my friend Christine’s blog if you would like to learn why more and more sex-positive feminists are speaking out against this series.

However. A terrible first introduction though it is, more and more people are finding BDSM and the kink and sex-positive communities via this franchise. They read the book or watch the film and get turned on by all the kinky sex. “I want to do that!” they think. Okay. So where do they go? Maybe they search online. If they’re lucky, they’ll find brilliant educational blogs. If they poke around for any length of time in the internet kinkosphere, they’ll probably land on Fetlife sooner or later. They might come to a munch. And they might go and buy a sex toy, possibly for the first time ever.

The seasoned kinksters among us may roll our eyes each February when the newest film brings the influx of “the Fifty Shades crowd” to our online spaces or our local munch. But if we do not welcome these people, we are doing them a great disservice. If we push them away or look down on them, we’re completely failing to live up to our purported values of inclusion, respect and community. Not only that, but pushing them away means they’re more likely to practice kink in unsafe and uninformed ways, imitating what they’ve read in that trilogy. If we welcome them in, they will have access to tremendous resources of knowledge, experience and education. I’ve seen plenty of people who came to kink via Fifty Shades grow into fantastic, skilled, responsible kinksters.

People who come to kink via less-than-ideal source material deserve resources and information. They deserve support, a loving community and the same access to education that every single one of us needed when we were new, regardless of our route into the community.

They also deserve safe and quality toys.

The way I see it, the majority of people who are likely to gravitate towards Fifty Shades branded toys will probably fall closer to the “new/inexperienced” end of the demographic spectrum. They may never have purchased a vibrator or dildo before in their life! They’ll probably be completely overwhelmed by the sheer quantity and variety of toys on offer. If Fifty Shades was their way in – or even if it wasn’t, but it’s still the main current cultural touchstone for “kinky sex” – they may well gravitate towards these branded toys. People feel comforted by the familiar.

This, in a nutshell, is why I am glad that Lovehoney have made this Fifty Shades Freed line in the way they have. Having seen most of the products in the flesh (um, as it were,) I feel happy to say they’re a body-safe, user-friendly and just flat out good quality line of toys. I’m glad that inexperienced folks, new to the world of sex toys, are going to get quality products and not some shitty jelly-rubber, phthalate-ridden piece of crap when they Google “Fifty Shades sex toys”. (And yes, this is the first link that comes up when you do that search. I checked.)

With that out of the way… what did I think of the actual toy?

The |Lovehoney Fifty Shades Freed Lavish Attention vibrator. A half moon shaped vibrator with a handle in a lovely plum colour;.The Lavish Attention vibrator is a dual clitoral and G-spot toy. Its shape is like a half moon on top of a handle. The internal part is nice and slim, with a circumference of about 4 inches at the widest part, and flexible. When this is inserted, the external part – which is more rigid – rests against the clitoris. Both vibrate. The Lavish Attention has 3 constant vibration speeds and 7 patterns. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof, travel-lockable, and comes with a handy – and stylish – purple storage bag.

I loved using it. I wasn’t sure I would, as dual-stim toys often aren’t very effective for me, but I like to broaden my horizons and expand my preferences. Personally, I found the shape and size of the Lavish Attention perfect to comfortably stimulate both my G-spot and clitoris without much weird maneuvering required.

Unusually, I enjoyed the vibration patterns on this toy. I think having internal stimulation slightly changes how my clitoris responds to things, though I am still figuring out exactly how this works. There are some caveats – read on for those! – but I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend the Lavish Attention to anyone looking for a good quality dual-stim toy.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
This toy retails at Lovehoney – currently the exclusive carrier! – for £54.99. This puts it squarely into the mid-price bracket, and in my opinion it’s reasonable value for the quality. I note that Lovehoney have a stellar returns policy.

Materials: ★★★★★
I can’t praise this enough. It’s premium quality matte silicone and feels absolutely gorgeous. It’s the kind of toy you just want to stroke again and again because it feels so lovely.

Appearance: ★★★★
One of the big plus points for the whole Freed range, for me, is how pretty they are. They’re all the same plum silicone with rose gold accents. The look is classy, sensual and sexy as fuck. If it didn’t have the Fifty Shades logo emblazoned upon it, it would be the perfect aesthetic for a sex toy in my opinion.

Ease of Use: ★★★
I generally find dual-stim vibes take some practice and some experimentation to find the best position to use them. This was no exception. I also found it slightly awkward to hold due to the positioning of the handle. It is nice and light, which is a big plus and particularly relevant for anyone who struggles to hold heavier toys due to disability or injury. My biggest gripe is that you can’t turn the speed and pattern settings down – if you want to get back to the previous setting, you have to cycle alllllll the way back through.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
You can clean the Lavish Attention, as with any silicone toy, with a sterile body-safe wipe. These are available cheaply in bulk from medical suppliers. This toy is completely waterproof which means you can submerge it to clean. The internal piece can easily be covered with a condom, but it’s not so easy to use with a barrier externally.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Lavish Attention has 3 speeds and 7 patterns, making it nice and versatile whichever you prefer. One feature I would have liked would be the option to control the internal and external vibrations independently of each other. The shape makes it safe for anal use, and I imagine the external stimulator could feel really nice against the perineum during anal play if that’s your jam. It is fully waterproof, so safe for bathtime play.

Intensity:
★★★★
As ever, please remember I am the biggest Power Queen who ever Power Queened. The vibrations were more than adequate and got me off, but I would have liked one or two higher settings. Considering that my preferred power level is “Doxy on speed,” though, I might be an outlier here. The vibration quality is a little buzzy, but not numbingly so.

Overall Score: ★★★★
A very solid dual-stim toy which I enjoyed using. Not perfect, but perfect doesn’t exist anyway. I’ve marked it up for being body-safe, fully waterproof, gorgeous looking and relatively quiet. It lost a few points for the annoying lack of a “down” control.

I don’t recommend this toy to lovers of girth – it’s definitely slimline – or those who can’t stand their vibrations being even slightly buzzy. But if you’re looking for a good quality, mid-priced clitoral and G-spot toy from a trustworthy retailer, and don’t mind the Fifty Shades branding, I suggest giving Lavish Attention a try!

The good folks at Lovehoney sent me the Lavish Attention vibrator in exchange for an honest review. This in no way affects my opinions which are, and will always be, entirely my own. Buying your sexy products through Lovehoney helps support me with a small commission and keep the blog going.

Elephant image is courtesy of Pixabay, a fab source of copyright-free images. Toy image belongs to Lovehoney and is reproduced here with their kind permission.

Holiday Gift Guide 2017

It’s that time of year, folks! Whatever you’re celebrating this winter, it’s likely you’ll have cause to give gifts to your loved one(s.) For your romantic or sexual partners (or friends with whom you have that kind of relationship) why not give them a sexy gift they’ll really love?

And, of course, don’t forget that YOU are someone you love! Whether you’re partnered this festive season or not, why not treat yourself to something special too?

To give you plenty of time to get your sexy shopping in, here’s my specially curated gift guide for 2017.

A couple of quick notes:

1: I have deliberately avoided gendered language in this post. I talk about vulva-owners and penis-owners because people of all genders can have all kinds of genitals and too many of us feel alienated by aggressively gendered toy marketing.

2: Links here are affiliate links unless otherwise stated. If you buy from an affiliate using my links, I will make a small commission which helps me to keep doing this work. As always, I only partner with companies I trust and I promise to NEVER recommend an unsafe product, or one I’m uncertain as to the safety of.

DISCOUNT JUST FOR ‘COFFEE & KINK’ READERS! Get 15% off EVERY gift guide item available at Lovehoney when you use the links in this post. Prices listed here DO NOT include the discount.

Top Picks: Vibrators
The Doxy Original, a purple wand style vibrator with a grey head, held on an upturned palm.

 

The Queen of vibrators and one of my favourite things in the whole world, the super-powerful Doxy Massager will always be top of my list. My Doxy is the only toy that always lives next to my bed, and it remains the best gift a lover has ever given me. £89.99 from Lovehoney.

The Doxy Die Cast, a deep purple wand vibrator with a large black silicone head.

 

 

If you love the Doxy, there’s also the newer, smaller-but-heavier Die Cast version,  with a beautiful aluminium and titanium body and body-safe silicone head. £149.99 from Lovehoney.

 

 

The We-Vibe Tango, a small blue bullet vibrator. For a review post.
Small but mighty, the We-Vibe Tango was one of my favourite discoveries this year. Discreet, small, easy to use and POWERFUL AS ALL FUCK, this one’s a sure winner for the power queens out there – and anyone who likes their vibes portable. Unlike many pocket-sized vibes, it’s also really rumbly. Check out my review. £54.99 from Lovehoney.

The Rocks Off Bamboo, a small lipstick shaped rose gold vibrator.

For those on a budget, the Bamboo vibrator by Rocks Off is my favourite low-priced vibe discovery this year. Body-safe, pretty, quiet and powerful-ish, this is a really solid little toy for the price. £16.99 on Lovehoney.

Top Picks: Dildos

The Idee du Desir Orchid 1001 Nights dildo for a review post. Pictured with an orchid flower.
The Idee du Desir Orchid 1001 Nights dildo is a really beautiful luxury wooden dildo that I completely fell in love with this year. With its subtle gold shimmer, it’s the height of classiness, and those gentle ridges feel divine. €90 from Idee du Desir (not an affilitate)


A line of Effulgence Ambit silicone dildos in a range of shimmery colours.I discovered Godemiche this year at Eroticon and I am in love with their beautiful, unique silicone toys – each one is hand poured and they come in all kinds of beautiful colours. The Effulgence Ambit range, pictured, is my favourite because GLITTER. £35-47 from Godemiche (not an affiliate.)

The Tantus Vamp Super Soft, a midnight purple dildo with a realistic head and flared base.

Tantus make beautiful silicone dildos that feel absolutely divine. My favourite is the Vamp Super Soft (in midnight purple, obviously!) With a flared base, it’s perfect for vaginal or anal use and can even be paired with your favourite harness for the ultimate strap-on experience. $69.99 from Tantus Inc.

 

A curved glass g-spot dildo from Lovehoney

 

Glass dildos have long been a love of mine. I like to insert them and then juuuust barely wiggle them against my G-spot. They’re so rigid that even this slight movement provides a world of blissful sensation. Try the curved sensual G-spot glass dildo from Lovehoney, £24.99.

Something A Bit Different

The Zumio, a purple sex toy with a small plastic tip. Shaped a bit like a toothbrush.
There’s been a lot of buzz (sorry) about the Zumio this year. I hate the claim that it is guaranteed to give any woman an orgasm in 60 seconds or less because BODIES DO NOT ALL WORK THAT WAY, but the product itself is genuinely innovative and has received overwhelmingly positive reviews. For lovers of direct, pinpoint clitoral stimulation, this is the one. £134.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Eroscillator, a purple sex toy that looks a bit like a toothbrush. Pictured with 6 attachments.I was lucky enough to try the Eroscillator as a friend’s place recently. (Yes, I have excellent friends.) Despite looking like what Kate Sloan describes as a “steampunk toothbrush” (yes) it’s amaaaazing. Because it oscillates rather than vibrates, it somewhat mimics the sensation of fingering, only faster. It also comes with six (count them!) attachments. Perfect for lovers of the kind of clit stim that brings you to a deliciously slow-build orgasm. £199.99 from Lovehoney.

 

I just got my paws on this cutie for a review and it’s brilliant! The straps hold it against the vulva for hands-free use and it’s operated with remote control, making it super ergonomic to use solo AND suitable for delicious partnered play. Try wearing it and giving your lover the remote to take control of! It has 8 patterns and 12 speeds. £74.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation, a suction based sex toy that looks like a little penguin wearing a pink bow-tie. For a review post.

Suction based toys are all the rage right now and my favourite is the Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation, which I reviewed recently. Don’t let the cuteness put you off – aside from literally looking like a little penguin in a bow tie (because obviously!), this baby gives me orgasms so powerful my partner can hear them from the other end of the house. £69.99 from Lovehoney.

Favourites for Couples

The We-Vibe sync, a wearable purple C-shaped vibrator. Pictured with the remote control and a mobile phone.

We-Vibe created the original wearable vibrator for couples, and the Sync is the newer and improved version of their classic. Worn during intercourse, the internal piece stimulates the penis and G-spot, while the outer arm stimulates the clitoris. It’s remote controlled, so no worries if you want to adjust the speed while you’re wearing it, and the app functions make your experience super customisable. £159.99 from Lovehoney.

 

A black strap on aet with silicone dildo and another smaller dildo pictured to the side. From Lovehoney. I love strap-on play, especially pegging (where a vulva-owner penetrates a penis-owner anally with a strap-on.) This set is great value. I love it because the harness is really adjustable to fit a wide range of bodies, and you can use it with any dildo with a decent base. I like using the 5 inch slimline dildo it comes with for pegging, and swapping out for the bigger size or my Tantus if fucking another person with a vagina. £44.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Feeldoe, a purple double ended v-shaped vibrating dildo.

The Feeldoe has become a classic for good reason. The shorter end is inserted into the vagina of the giving partner, and they use the longer end to fuck the receiving partner. Somewhat more advanced than a basic strap on, but with the huge added bonus of direct internal stimulation for the fucker. Plus, it’s made from lovely body-safe silicone and even has an inbuilt vibrating bullet. From $124.99 from Tantus.

 

Top Picks for Dicks

Note: this section is somewhat out of my area of expertise. These recommendations come from extensive reading of reviews and help from some of the wonderful dick-owners in my life!

 

I can’t have a section on toys for dicks without mentioning Fleshlight, the original and best-selling masturbator. Flight by Fleshlight comes highly recommended. One reader commented that he likes that it’s less obviously anatomical looking than some penis toys. £44.99 from Lovehoney.

The Pulse III Solo, a black three-quarter sleeve style toy for penises.

 

I adore Hot Octopuss. Their toys are so innovative and their #SexNotStigma campaign is brilliant. (Check out the sponsored post I wrote for them a little while ago!) Their Pulse III uses oscillating Pulse Plate technology, which is – get this – medically proven to bring about ejaculation. The Solo is designed for – unsurprisingly – solo use, while the Duo boasts a vibrating underside to stimulate a vulva during partnered play. £79.99 (Solo) or £99.99 (Duo) from Hot Octopuss, with 10% off when you use this link and code CK10.

The Tenga Black Flip Hole, a black male masturbation sleeve with buttons on the side, held in a female hand.

 

The Tenga Flip Hole masturbator boasts “multiple asymmetrical textures and buttons that enable you to manually tailor pressure anywhere along your shaft.” This is a far cry from “just stick your dick in and fuck it” penis toys, and allows for an amazing range of different sensations. Bonus: it pops open for easy and thorough cleaning. £69.99 from Lovehoney.

The Tantus C-Sling, a red silicone cock ring with a contoured tongue.

Cock rings are brilliant! They restrict flow of blood from the erect penis, giving a stronger erection and keeping the dick harder for longer. The C-Sling from Tantus works in basically the same way, with the added bonus of the contoured tip which gently stimulates the perineum during play. $34.64 from Tantus.

 

Anal Fun

The We-Vibe Ditto, a purple silicone butt plug. Pictured with the remote control and a mobile phone.

The We-Vibe Ditto is We-Vibe’s first and long-awaited anal toy. It’s relatively small – the insertable length is only about 3 inches – and uses We-Vibe’s signature powerful vibrations. It’s remote- or app-controlled and has 10 different vibration modes. The Ditto is even waterproof if you want to get your sexy on in the shower. £109.99 from Lovehoney.

 

A glass butt plug from Lovehoney.

 

Did I mention I LOVE glass toys? Well, that goes for anal toys too. Mr CK bought me this beauty from Lovehoney for my birthday and it is one of the most perfect plugs to ever go up my butt. £19.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Rocks Off Naughty Boy, a curved reverse C-shape black prostate vibrator.

 

I love Rocks Off! Their Naughty Boy is a slimline vibrating prostate stimulator with a gentle curve to perfectly hit those sweet spots. It has 7 different functions and is powered by a removable RO80 bullet. £49.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Aneros MGX, a white curved prostate stimulator with a curly base.

 

This one comes to the list courtesy of my friend, fellow blogger and sometimes co-creator Exhibit A, who describes it as “the other love of [my] life!” (One assumes the first love is his awesome wife Livvy!) The Aneros MGX is a plastic (body-safe!) prostate massager works with the sphincter muscles for hands-free fun, and stimulates both the prostate and perineum. £39.99 from Lovehoney.

 

Let’s Get Kinky

If you’re into impact play, how about treating yourselves to the most beautiful floggers you’ll ever own? Kabunza is a small business, headed up by designer, maker and teacher Aemilia Hawk. Not an affiliate, I just love them forever. Every creation is unique and you can even custom-order. Various prices.

A pair of silver "Clover" nipple clamps held in a female hand.

 

I’m a big fan of nipple clamps, and clover clamps are my favourites of all! They are quite pinchy and tighten when you pull on them. Not recommended for beginners to nipple play! This is the set we have, from Bondage Boutique. They’re so affordable and have lasted us two years and are still going strong. Remember… they hurt more coming off! £8.99 from Lovehoney.

A coil of violet dyed hemp rope from Twisted Monk

 

Bondage enthusiasts understand the sensual and aesthetic appeal of beautiful rope. If you love natural fibres in beautiful colours, get your hands on some of Twisted Monk’s hand-dyed hemp. The violet, pictured, is my favourite. Not an affiliate. $35.99 for 30ft from Twisted Monk.

 

Luxurious Lingerie & Foxy Fetishwear

 

The Lovehoney Moonlight Wine Crotchless Basque, a deep red one piece of lingerie, modelled by a pretty white woman with dark wavy hair.I The Lovehoney Moonlight plunge babydoll, made of red wine satin and black lace. Modelled by a pretty dark haired woman.am completely in love with Lovehoney’s brand new Moonlight range. The black lace and red-wine satin oozes sophistication. My favourite pieces, pictured, are the plunge babydoll set and the crotchless body. Perfect for cosy winter nights in with your lover. I’ve just received a review piece (look out for that!) and it makes me feel like a total babe. Every piece comes in plus sizes, too, so everybody can look and feel gorgeous. £34.99 from Lovehoney. My favourites are included in the offer, or you can check out the whole range and take advantage of 25% off when you buy any two pieces.

 

A black PVC full body catsuit, modelled by a pretty white woman with blonde hair.

 

My new favourite is this sexy catsuit from Latex, Leather & Lace. I tried one on in their new store and it was love at first meow! (Watch out for my full review, coming soon). Pair with some sexy black boots (like those below, perhaps?) and you’ll be “feline” gorgeous all night long. £64.99 from Latex, Leather & Lace.

 

 

A black leather overbust corset modelled by a dark haired white woman running her hand through her hair.

 

I adore real leather. The feel, the warmth, the smell… oh god, the smell. Mmmff. That’s why I am lusting HARD after this Lady Anne corset by Allure Leather, and I’m sure you will be, too. £160.99 from Latex, Leather & Lace.

 

 

Pleaser 1020 black high heeled lace up boots
I hate most things about winter. What I do love, though, is that it’s BOOTS SEASON! I can’t even remotely walk in heels without breaking myself, but I do enjoy wearing them to feel sexy once in a while. This winter I’m lusting after these Pleaser beauties. The high-heel wearer in your life is bound to love them too! £70.95 from Latex, Leather & Lace.

 

 

All pictures in this post are property of the respective retailers and are reproduced here with their permission.

[Toy Review] The Rabbit Company “Come Hither” Rabbit

The “Rabbit,” first popularised by Sex & the City, is one of the absolutely quintessential sex toys for people with vulvas. And until a few nights ago, I’d never tried one. I saw the monstrosities available in Ann Summers (back before I realised A.S. suck and vowed never to shop there) and they just didn’t appeal to me at all. They were too big, too garish-looking, and didn’t seem like they’d provide anything meaningful in the way of clitoral stimulation.

The Rabbit Company, though, have changed all that. After two years of research and development, they’ve created a line of rabbit-style toys that are high quality, body-safe and a joy to use.

The Come Hither Rabbit, a purple rabbit style vibrator. For a product review.

So how was it?

Something you should know about me is that I often don’t like clitoral and G-spot stimulation at the same time. Sometimes I do, but it has to be done exactly right and I have to be in the mood for it. My cunt is a fickle creature. This is another reason I’ve never been drawn to a Rabbit toy before.

It was the “come hither” motion that gave the model its name, combined with the impressive vibration power in the ears, that led me to this one. And ohhh my. It moves against the G-spot in a way that somewhat mimics how I like to be fingered, and the different speed settings mean you can ramp it up or down to suit. The vibrating ears also have six different patterns, each of which can be increased or reduced in intensity. It’s not super girthy and the insertable length is about 4 inches. It is rechargeable via USB cable (included, though the adapter is not.)

With a generous smear of water-based lube on both the shaft and ears, the Come Hither Rabbit slid into me smoothly and the ears fit comfortably around my clit. It took a little playing to get it into exactly the right position, and I’m sure the “right” angle of penetration and positioning of the ears and whiskers will vary for everyone, but – being silicone – it has some flex so can be maneuvered into position.

I came really fast with the Come Hither Rabbit. Even factoring in for the few days of build up (I was sick for a few days and didn’t feel like wanking) and the excellent porn I found, this still got me off in under 5 minutes, which is pretty incredible by my body’s usual standards. The orgasm was intense, long, and incredibly satisfying as a result of stemming from both clitoral and g-spot situation.

It’s official: I’m a Rabbit convert.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★
The Come Hither Rabbit retails at Simply Pleasure for £94.99. Yes, it’s an expensive toy. However, I’m going to put my opinion out there and say it’s worth the investment if you like this type of toy. The quality is stellar. All Rabbit Company toys come with a 5 year warranty as standard, too.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s seam-free, high quality silicone and it’s just so very soft. Silicone means it is body-safe, non-porous and hypoallergenic.

Appearance: ★★★★★
It’s really cute (and it comes in purple)! For some reason, the adorable little ears and whiskers just make me giggle.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
It has one simple control panel – the on/off button, the up/down speed control buttons, and the centre button to cycle through the different vibration patterns. It’s easy to hold and not too heavy, either. It does take a little practice to position correctly. I found it easy to keep in the desired position once I’d found it.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
Its smooth shape and seam-free silicone make the Come Hither Rabbit easy to clean with a sterile wipe or some toy-cleaner. (Usual disclaimer to check if any nasties are lurking in your cleaner applies here.) The whiskers are a little more fiddly to clean so take extra care in that area.

The Come Hither Rabbit is not waterproof, though it is splash-proof. Be careful if cleaning it with soap and water and don’t submerge it. The shaft can be covered with a condom for safe penetration, though it would be difficult (not impossible – you could use a dam or some cling-wrap) to use a barrier for the ears part. Therefore, either be super fastidious with cleaning or don’t share it with a non fluid-bonded partner.

Versatility: ★★★★
Multiple intensity levels and six vibration patterns make the Come Hither Rabbit quite versatile. It’s definitely an “internal and external at the same time” toy – you can’t readily use just the clitoral part or just the internal part without the other.

Intensity: ★★★★★
Yes. Yessssss. This beauty has really lovely, intense vibrations that got me off hard in record time for any toy that isn’t a Wand.

I repeat: yesssssss.

Overall Score: Image result for four and a half stars

Downsides: despite the advertising, it is definitely NOT “whisper-quiet.” It’s not unbearably loud, but the “come hither” motion makes a moderately loud and very distinct noise. It’s not waterproof, if you care about such things. (I don’t.) It’s not the easiest to clean.

Upsides: Pretty much everything else. The intensity of the vibration and the perfection of the G-spot stim was what clinched it for me. Definitely a winner.

I bought this toy for myself and chose to review it because I was excited about it. No affiliate links were used in this post. If you like what you read here, please consider supporting me by becoming a sexy patron, buying through my affiliates in the right hand sidebar, or buying me a virtual coffee.

My First Sex Toys

This was supposed to be a quick one, written on Sunday while waiting for Mr CK to get ready for our favourite twice-yearly kink event. But it ended up getting long, then I ended up getting busy, so here it is several days late.

Thought it would be fun to share with you the first five sex toys I ever owned, what I think of them with the knowledge I have now… and what I might recommend instead.

Toy #1: Tracey Cox Supersex Bullet Vibrator

At 18 and having just moved into my own place with a boyfriend, I rushed to buy my first Actual Sex Toy, to replace the trusty electric toothbruth I’d been using until that point. Having very little money and no clue what to buy, I went for a cheap and cheerful bullet vibe. At the time, it was fine. I wasn’t quite the power queen I am today, and the toy was small enough that it didn’t threaten my boyfriend’s fragile masculinity.

Would I recommend it? Meh. I wouldn’t say “don’t go anywhere near”. It’s cheap, was pretty reliable (lasted damn near five years before it finally died as I recall,) and being made of hard plastic it’s body safe and easy to clean. But it’s also single-speed and the vibes were kinda buzzy and weak. But as a first toy, to establish that vibrating sensations were something I enjoyed, well… meet my gateway drug.

Buy this instead: We-Vibe Tango (reviewed by me here) or Lovehoney Desire Luxury Bullet are both highly recommended, very popular and body-safe bullet vibes. The Tango is slightly stronger and rumblier. The Desire is softer if hard plastic feels too harsh for your sensitive areas. Choose according to your preferences.

Toy #2: Some vile jelly monstrosity from Ann Summers

Emboldened by my new-found sexual bravery, or so I thought (LOL, 19 year old Amy was adorable) I dragged my boyfriend into Ann Summers on my 19th birthday trip to London to buy myself a new toy. Too intimidated to ask for help, I ended up with a purple jelly-rubber toy with pathetically weak vibrations. I don’t think I used it more than 3 times. I can’t find the exact model on their site any more, but this isn’t a million miles away.

Would I recommend it? FUCK NO. Please don’t buy anything made of jelly rubber, it’s toxic and porous and really, really bad for your body. Actually, I suggest you just don’t shop at Ann Summers at all. A lot of their products suck and they cater for a really narrow, cishet, male-gaze-centric version of female sexuality. Try Lovehoney, Sh! or your local independent, women-owned sex shop instead.

Buy this instead: If you’re after an affordable, simple G-spot stimulator, the Lovehoney 7 Inch curved silicone dildo is well-priced and body safe (it also comes in a shorter 5.5 inch version.) If you can afford to spend a bit more, anything by Tantus is wonderful, beautifully made and safe for your body – look out for my personal favourite, the Vamp Super Soft in midnight purple.

Toy #3: Icicles No.5 Sapphire Spiral Glass Dildo

This was an impulse buy at the BBB – they were just so pretty I couldn’t resist, and I’d never tried a glass toy before. On first use I wasn’t sure I liked it – glass is colder and more rigid than anything I’d previously used. Once I’d got used to the sensation, though, I found that using it very gently (think “insert and just barely wiggle it,” no hard thrusting here) gave me the most glorious G-spot orgasms. Alas this particular toy met its end when a clumsy photographer dropped it (he did have the decency to pay me for it!) but I’ve been in love with glass toys ever since.

Would I recommend it? I recommend glass dildos heartily. HOWEVER…

…Note, added on 22/1o/2017: Icicles are owned by Pipedream, who I have come to learn are kinda fucking terrible. If you don’t want to support them (and I urge you to think seriously before you do,) Lovehoney’s own brand glass toys are at least equal in quality and value.

Toy #4: Doc Johnson Junior Veined Double Ended Dildo

I won this one in a raffle at a Simply Pleasure open evening event. It amused me more than anything, and at 22 I was still bashful enough to shove it in my bag with a blush and hope I didn’t have an accident on my cycle home. I tried it exactly once with my girlfriend, before it went to languish, forgotten, at the bottom of a box until I threw it out some three years later.

Would I recommend it? No. It smelled weird (think “new car” meets “latex” only more chemically). The texture was sticky and gross, sure signs of a questionable and potentially toxic material. It’s described on the website as “body safe” but Doc Johnson products have been found in lab tests to contain phthalates, and their “sil-a-gel” additive seems to be entirely their own invention and AT BEST does nothing. In other words, this toy – and many of Doc Johnson’s other products – are mainly PVC and therefore porous as fuck and toxic.

Buy this instead: The Lovehoney Double Up Silicone Mini Double Penetration Dildo is great for use either with a partner or alone for vaginal/anal double penetration, and I will always recommend the Feeldoe for that “strapless strap on” experience.

Toy #5: Off-Brand “Magic Wand” Knockoff

This thing was my first wand vibrator. It’s a cheap (-ish – I think mine still ran £50, though it probably wasn’t really worth even half that) and poor knock-off of the original Hitachi magic wand. Unfortunately, it’s incorrectly labelled as “Hitachi” in at least 50% of the places I could find it online. It gave me some good orgasms for a few months but ultimately, got less and less powerful with each use until it completely gave up and died after perhaps 6-9 months.

Would I recommend it? Absolutely not. Being a knock-off, there’s no information available on the material, meaning it almost certainly isn’t body-safe. (It may not even be properly safe electrically, come to that.) The quality is shocking and it barely lasted a quarter of the time you’d expect a toy of this price point to last.

Buy this instead: The Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable, or my all-time favourite, the Doxy Massager.

This post was not sponsored. It does contain affiliate links and if you buy from one of them, I may make a small commission. This will never affect my views on the products, which are and will always be my own.

Don’t forget to use code COFFKINK10 at Lovehoney to receive 10% off the entire store.

[Toy Review] The Rock Chick

I’ve been wanting to try the Rock Chick for a long time and I really wanted to love it as it’s such a neat design (and also made by Rocks Off, who did the Ruby Glow which I adore.)

The Rock Chick by Rocks Off. A purple c-shaped sex toy

Stits ‘n’ Stats…

It’s a C-shaped, “2-in-1″ toy, one end a g-spot dildo and the other, ribbed end supposed to sit against the clitoris while the dildo end is inserted. It’s powered by a removable vibrating bullet and has 7 settings – 3 speeds of constant vibration and 4 patterns.

Size-wise, the insertable length is about 4 inches and the girth is about 1.3”. Not one for size queens, but a good length and perfect curve for g-spot stimulation.

My experience…

The Rock Chick is supposed to be “hands free,” but it didn’t quite work for me that way – I had to hold the clitoral end against my body to get the most out of the vibrations when I was lying on my back. A position that did work for me was lying on my front with a pillow beneath my hips, my body weight effectively pinning the toy in place, and grinding against it.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t orgasm from this toy, even with a few days of built-up horniness and some damn good porn in front of me. The vibrations, dampened by the thick silicone, just weren’t strong enough for me. I enjoyed the sensations, but it wasn’t quite enough.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
This toy retails on Lovehoney for £39.99, which isn’t a bad price. It’ll be out of some budgets but it’s nowhere near as expensive as some of the higher end toys. It puts it pretty squarely into the bottom of the mid-range, which is about right.

Materials: ★★★★★
The main body is soft and flexible silicone, which I can’t fault. It’s body safe and feels lovely. The removable bullet is hard ABS plastic, which is also body safe.

Appearance: ★★★★
It comes in purple (yay!) and pink (meh,) so pretty standard colours for sex toys for people with vulvas, but the Rock Chick is attractive enough. The C shape makes me think of my favourite C-word (CUNT) which is kind of pleasing.

Ease of Use: ★★
Mmm, unfortunately this is where this toy really falls down for me. The “hands free” idea is cool but sadly it just doesn’t quite work for my body. The G-spot part had to go too deep, almost painfully so, in order to get the clitoral stimulator into the right position. Of course, it’s impossible for a toy to fit every body perfectly. For someone whose body is different, it might work really well. I sort of got around this by using the “face down, hips on pillow” position mentioned above, but even then I needed to frequently use a hand to adjust the toy or keep it in place. You change the settings with a single button located on the end of the clitoral part that is a little difficult to press.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The shape and smooth silicone mean it’s easy to clean the Rock Chick with a sterile wipe. It’s also waterproof, so you can clean it thoroughly in hot water. The bullet is removeable, so you can take it out and clean it separately. The embossed letters on the side do make for a bit of a bacteria trap, so please be extra thorough when cleaning that area if any body fluids get in there. You could put a condom over the insertable end for extra safety or when sharing.

Versatility: ★★★★★
The Rock Chick has 7 different settings, making it versatile whether you like constant vibrations or patterns. You could also remove the bullet and use it separately, if you like. It’s much stronger this way though still somewhat buzzy. It’s a waterproof toy, so you can play with it in the bath or shower. The shape means the insertable end would be suitable for anal use with no risk of getting stuck. I can also see that it could be a good toy for double-vaginal penetration with a partner.

Intensity: ★★
Just too weak, unfortunately. When I removed the bullet it felt nice and strong in my hand, though moderately buzzy, but the padding of the silicone dampened it to the point that it couldn’t get me off. Disappointing. For someone who is into much gentler vibrations, it might work.

Overall Score: ★★★
I really like the design and it has some good points. It was really the weakness of the vibrations that ruined it for me. But if you’re after a dual-purpose toy and you’re not as powervibe-mad as me, this toy might work really well for you.

Note: I purchased this toy for myself in a closing down sale. This post does contain affiliate links and if you buy through them I make a small commission. This does not in any way affect my views on the product which are, and will always be, my own. Don’t forget to use code COFFKINK10 at Lovehoney for 10% off!

The image featured in this post was offered for use via Creative Commons Licensing.

[Toy Review] Evolved Novelties Silicone Silky “G”

One of the criticisms I often hear around the movement for body-safe and well made sex toys is that they’re unaffordable for a lot of people. I do not believe this is true. You can find good quality and safe products for no more money than a lot of the unsafe, toxic and porous toys on the market – you just need to know where to look.

That’s why, after shipping charges scuppered the intention to review a higher priced toy, I was actually quite glad to have the opportunity to test something at a lower price-point. The lovely folks at new women-focused US online retailer Amanda & Eve sent me the Silicone Silky “G” by Evolved Novelties.

The Evolved Novelties silky silicone G out of its case. A blue vibrator with a curved tip. The blue Evolved Novelties Silky Silicone G in its plastic case

First, some facts ‘n’ stats…

The “G” is a blue silicone, battery-operated G-spot vibrator with three constant vibration speeds (no patterns.) It’s 1.5 inches in diameter and the insertable part is 7.5 inches long, making it a poor choice for girth queens but a good option for those who like slimline vibes or slightly deeper penetration. Like most silicone toys, it’s got some flexibility which makes for easy, smooth insertion and a sensation that isn’t too rigid. The end curves pleasingly, which stimulated my G-spot very nicely when inserted, and also doubles up for pinpoint clitoral stimulation.

A quick note: there is some confusion on different retailers about what batteries this toy takes. I can confirm it’s definitely 2 AAA batteries.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
This toy retails at $28.99 (about £22.50) and at the time of writing is on sale for $14.99 through Amanda & Eve for North American readers. This is a fantastic price for the quality of product, especially as it’s pure silicone.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s made of matte-finish silicone, making it completely body-safe, non-porous and hypoallergenic. Points all around and kudos to Evolved Novelties for listening to their customers and creating safe toys that are still affordable. As always, use water-based lube for silicone toys.

Appearance: ★★★★
It is NOT PINK, which automatically earns points from me, and it comes nicely presented in a sturdy plastic case. (Pictured above.) It’s also available in purple.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
It’s a little heavy for the size (4.3 oz,) which wasn’t an issue for me but might make it a poor choice if holding something with a bit of weight would be an issue for you. Other than that, it fits snugly in my hand and the button to cycle through the speed settings is easy to press and located on the base of the toy.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★
The shape and smooth silicone surface mean it’s easy to clean down with a sterile wipe. It’s also waterproof so you can submerge it fully in water for a more thorough cleaning. There is a “seam” down the middle, presumably from the mold – common in lower priced silicone toys. This could harbour bacteria – so do take particularly thorough care of this when cleaning. Easy to pop a condom over for extra safety if you’re particularly concerned or sharing your toy.

Versatility: ★★★★
It has three speeds, which isn’t that many compared to some vibes on the market which may have 10-2o speeds or “patterns”. I’m struggling to mark it down for this, though, because the “constant vibration” setting is always my favourite anyway. The three levels mean you can choose the intensity of vibration that works for you. It’s waterproof if you want to use it in the bath or shower. Though it’s designed as a G-spot toy (and functions as one admirably!) I also really liked this vibe as a clitoral stimulator. The shape of the tip is just perfect for precision stimulation. It doesn’t have a flared base, so please don’t use it anally.

Intensity: ★★★★
The vibrations, though a little buzzy for my taste, went deep enough to get me off in a reasonable timeframe and are impressively strong for such a cheap toy – especially as I’ve used much more expensive toys with lower strength of vibration. Not recommended for serious power queens, but otherwise I have no complaints.

Overall Score: ★★★★
Not at all bad for the price. Though it’s not perfect, I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this toy to someone looking for a decent vibe at a lower price-point.


I received a free product and small fee from Amanda & Eve in exchange for an honest review. This in no way affects my views on the product which are, and always will be, entirely my own. I do not make a commission from any links in this post.

The images featured in this post come from Amanda & Eve’s website and are kindly reproduced here with their permission.

[Toy Review] The Tot Bodee Vibrator

Horny Geek Girl practically threw this toy at me at the #LubeAndALaptop meet last month, with a “please take this and review it!!” Well, how could I say no to that?

The Tot Bodee vibrator, a bright pink toy that looks a bit like a sperm in shape

The Bodee Vibrator is a small (less than 4″ long) rechargeable pink vibe with a small flexible tail that also vibrates. Its main selling point is that it can be hooked up via Bluetooth to a special app and then controlled via Smartphone by either the wearer or whoever else they decide to hand the control to. At least in theory, there’s some pretty cool sex-tech goodness going on here. In practice… meh.

What I didn’t love

The Bodee is sold as a G-spot vibe but, to be completely honest, I found it too small and not curved in the right way to hit my G-spot in any meaningful way. The tail is, I think, intended to stimulate the clit while the main body of the toy is inserted into the vagina. Unfortunately the tail was too short and too flimsy for this to work.

It’s also too loud to realistically wear while out in public, which probably removes a good deal of the “hands free, app controlled” appeal for the more adventurous among us. And it’s tiny, which I take issue with when they’re selling it as an internal toy. I’m not a size queen by any means, but this thing was way too small to do anything much internally. If you’re using it as a clit stimulator (read on,) the size isn’t an issue.

However…

When I repurposed it as a clitoral stimulator (which I am often wont to do,) it was suddenly quite effective. It comes with six different patterns which you control through the app (or you can scroll through with the button on the top if you’re not connected into the app) and – I LOVE this – you can literally design your own vibration pattern with the app’s “custom” feature. Seriously cool.

My overwhelming reaction to this toy is “cool concept with some good points, but needs work”. Read on to find out why.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
The only retailer I could find that ships this toy to the UK was Deals Machine which seems to be a wholesalers of some description. The toy sells there for £28.29 for one (as with most wholesalers, the price per unit goes down if for some reason you decide you want 50 vibrators) which is a really fantastic price for the quality of product.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s silicone with a matte finish, meaning it’s soft and lovely to the touch and also completely body-safe. As always, use water-based lube for silicone toys.

Appearance: ★★★
It’s BRIGHT pink (seriously, the picture does not do justice to how pink this thing is) and not available in any other colours, which gets a mark down from me. I’m just so sick of pink pink pink everywhere in sex toys for people with vulvas. On the plus side, it’s small and cute (good for people who feel threatened by or nervous of larger toys) and the shape sort of reminds me of a sperm, which I have nothing but slightly giggly respect for.

Ease of Use: ★★
The Bodee is small and very light, making it gentle on the hands and wrists. However, the tail is the bit you’re going to be realistically using as a handle if you’re thrusting with it or using it as a clit stimulator, and said tail is just a little too small and flimsy to be up to the task. The vibe comes with a little instruction booklet that explains setting up the app, which really couldn’t be easier. You literally download it, turn on the toy and your Bluetooth, they sync up, and you’re good to go. The app itself, once you’re in, is really self explanatory.

Unfortunately, I’ve had to give a lower score that I’d like to here because A) the main website is all in Chinese with no translate option, so finding more details or troubleshooting is really hard, and B) the app sometimes crashes for no reason – it did this maybe 3 times in a half hour play session.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The shape and smooth silicone surface mean it’s easy to clean down with a sterile wipe. In theory, it’s waterproof, but I’m not sure to what extent I’d trust that. The “resealing” charging hole doesn’t close as well as I’d like it to. I wouldn’t submerge it fully in water, personally. Could be popped into a condom or used with another barrier for safer sex reasons if you’re sharing it.

Versatility: ★★★★
Versatility is really where the Bodee shines. This toy has a LOT of settings – and the amazing, amazing, AMAZING feature of being able to design your own pattern of vibrations. As above, it says waterproof but looking at the charging hole, I don’t fully trust that claim. It’d be great to hear from someone who has, though – let me know if you’ve tried this. I don’t much care as I don’t wank in the bath anyway. I found it only worked for clitoral stimulation but it might work internally for some people. Not suitable for anal use.

Intensity: ★★★★
The vibrations were definitely a little buzzy, but not horribly so. They went deep enough to get me off, though it took a while. They were pretty strong for such a small toy, which is more than I was expecting. The Bodee also didn’t have that annoying tingling/itching effect that some buzzy vibes have.

Overall Score: ★★★
A great idea for a “toy with a difference” that is at least partially well-realised. There are some pretty significant flaws that prevent me from giving the Bodee a higher score. It definitely wouldn’t be a top recommendation for someone looking for a clitoral or G-spot toy. Great inexpensive way to experiment if you like the idea of Bluetooth or app-controlled vibes, and potentially great for D/s play – the opportunities if you hand the controls off to your partner are endless. I hope they come out with a second generation version that addresses some of the issues.

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[Toy Review] Svakom Billy Vibrator

Sometimes, the simple things are really the best. This is true of life and it’s true of sex toys. The Billy vibrator by American company SVAKOM is a great example of elegant simplicity done properly.

The Svakom Billy, a slim curved purple vibrator with the buttons on a gold coloured baseAs you can probably tell from the shape, the Billy is designed primary as a G-spot toy. Its slight curve means it slides in easily and comfortably with no awkward positioning required. It’s quite long (just over 7 inches) meaning it should reach the G-spot comfortably on most bodies, and its slimline design (only about an inch across) makes it perfect for those of us who aren’t girth queens. I like taking thicker things sometimes when playing with a partner, but when I’m masturbating I prefer my toys lengthy over girthy every time. If your preferences fall more along the lines of “thicker is better,” the Billy might not be for you.

I’m not massively one for G-spot vibration. I prefer to have my G-spot pounded hard and I like my vibrations focused around my clit. Therefore, I did try the Billy internally but liked it more when I used it as a simple dildo while it was switched off. For this purpose, it was perfectly adequate. Again, really nice curve. However, I almost immediately repurposed it as a clitoral vibrator – a task which it performed admirably.

The Billy has five distinct patterns of vibration, and five speed options on each setting, meaning there are 25 – count them! – different possibilities in total. I’m typically a fan of consistent vibration and it was this mode (on HIGH, I am nothing if not a power queen) that finally got me off. But the setting with repeated quick bursts of vibration in a constant rhythm was also particularly delightful.

The Billy is waterproof and rechargeable via a pinhole port. Another plus point: it’s pretty quiet. Not silent, by any stretch, but someone in the next room is unlikely to hear it unless your walls are made of paper.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★
It retails on SVAKOM’s website for $125 (about £97.) This isn’t a horrendous price for a luxury toy, but it’s definitely getting into the higher end of the market. It’s worth paying extra for the quality, the variety of sensations you can get from it, and the warranty it comes with if you buy directly from the company. However, there are certainly similar toys available at a lower price-point if this is out of your budget.

Materials: ★★★★★
The Billy is made of beautifully soft silicone, which is both body-safe and absolutely wonderful to the touch. It has a matte finish which means it glides into and along the body smoothly with just a little water-based lube, and avoids that sticky feeling that some gloss-finish toys can have.

Appearance: ★★★★★
It’s a lovely purple colour (SVAKOM calls it violet.) The mirrored gold button panel adds a beautiful and classy touch.

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
It’s nice and light, and the gentle curve and ergonomic design make it a delight to hold. It’s long enough to be easy to manipulate whether you’re using it internally or externally. The buttons are easy to press (and have that satisfying click that is so often missing on sex toy buttons.) It’s easy to cycle through the patterns and the speed settings. The ‘up’ and ‘down’ buttons mean you can try going a step higher or dialing it back a notch without having to cycle alllll the way back through the 25 settings to get back to the one you liked.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
Couldn’t be easier. The shape and smooth design mean that it can easily be cleaned down with a sterile wipe, and it’s waterproof so can be safely submerged in water for a more thorough cleaning. It’s essentially similar in shape to a penis, so easy to pop a condom over it for sharing.

Versatility: ★★★★★
Did I mention TWENTY FIVE SETTINGS? Whatever kind of speed or pattern you personally like, this toy probably has it. And if you don’t yet know what you like, this has the versatility all in a single toy that you can experiment and find out. It’s suitable for G-spot or clitoral stimulation. (Please don’t use it anally as it doesn’t have a flared base, which means you could lose it – a serious medical issue.) It’s also waterproof so you can use it in the bath or shower.

Intensity: ★★★★
The vibrations were definitely on the more buzzy end of the spectrum, where I really prefer rumbly. And personally I’ll never say no to vibes which turn up to a ridiculous level of intensity. One more higher setting would have been nice for me personally. However, the vibrations are pretty good for such a small and relatively quiet toy, and it did give me a lovely, slow-build orgasm.

Overall Score: Image result for four and a half stars
On the whole I really liked this toy and it has no serious flaws that I can see. I would recommend it to anyone who likes some versatility in their toy, anyone who likes G-spot vibrations, most folks who like clitoral vibrations (unless you only like EXTREME intensity,) and anyone who prefers a more slimline insertable toy.

I have no affiliation with this company.  A fellow sex-blogger gifted me the toy and I decided to review it because I liked it so much. Like what you read here? Buy me a coffee or become a Kinky Patron to help me keep writing (as well as access some occasional bonus content!)

[Toy Review] The “Wicked Game” Magic Wand by So Divine

The Wicked Game was a last-minute win at the end-of-Eroticon raffle, and I was excited to try it out as ‘wand’ style vibrators are always a firm favourite with me. This lovely little thing was no exception.

The So Divine Wicked Game, a purple magic wand style vibrator with a bulbous head and slightly curved body. Pictured boxed, left, and unboxed, right,

First, some facts…

It’s a small-ish wand compared to the heft of, say, a Hitachi or a Doxy. It measures about 9.5 inches from end to end, and has a gentle curve – that’s because it’s double ended, effectively making it both a clitoral wand and a G-spot vibrator in one. (Though, sadly, both cannot vibrate at the same time.) The head is about 1.5 inches across and the widest part of the insertable end is about the same, making it not super slimline but definitely not one for girth lovers. It’s waterproof and USB-rechargeable.

My experience…

I tried the Wicked Game out at the club with Mr CK, with him using it on me. For the purposes of full disclosure I should say I hadn’t had an orgasm for about 3 days before this session, but I’m not convinced that makes too much of a difference apart from possibly making me get off quicker than I would otherwise have. My cunt likes what it likes; it’s just a little more receptive when it’s been a while.

What I love about this toy is that it’s really versatile. Both ends vibrate (though not, as I mentioned, at the same time. You have to pick one or the other!) and one end is a traditional wand head while the other end is an insertable vibrating dildo. All in one toy! Nice, no? It also has ten different vibration modes – 3 constant speed settings and 7 pulsing patterns.

I don’t often like patterns of vibration – give me the constant setting any day! That said, some of the Wicked Game’s patterns are surprisingly enjoyable. My favourite is the pulse setting that ramps slowly up, hits a peak and then drops down again. I love being teased (or teasing myself) into a frenzy and this setting does exactly that. For a quicker orgasm, though, the highest of the 3 constant speeds is definitely my preferred setting.

Now this is where things get really interesting. Mr CK made me come with this toy – twice in an afternoon – really easily. Normally, someone else getting me to come is pretty difficult (possible, but difficult,) even if they’re using a toy I really love. Again: picky cunt. I love my Doxy more than life – it is my favourite toy and one of my favourite possessions, period. But I come a lot more reliably when I use it on myself than when someone else holds it. Yet the Wicked Game is less powerful, but for some reason seems much more effective in giving me orgasms when in someone else’s hands.

My theory is thus: the Doxy is SUPER CRAZY POWERFUL, to the point that if it’s in the wrong spot – even slightly – it can become unpleasant or even painful extremely quickly. When I’m holding it myself, I know exactly what my body needs and can react accordingly, but my partners – wonderful and attuned to me though they are – do not actually live in my head. Or my clitoris. The Wicked Game, though pretty powerful itself, is significantly gentler than the mains-powered wands and so I can squirm against it, adjust it if needed, and let my partner know if it needs moving to a different spot before it becomes painful or unpleasant and throws me off my ‘groove.’

In short, I think this toy might be the sweet spot where “powerful enough to make me come” meets “gentle enough to have someone else use on me without discomfort.” I would recommend this for any vulva-owning person who likes vibrations, and I would particularly suggest it as a perfect first vibrator because the experience is so very customisable. Don’t know if you like internal or external stimulation, hard persistent vibrations or soft pulsing? No problem – with this, you can try them all out with one toy.

Incidentally: it’s also one of those rare toys that advertises itself as quiet and is actually quiet. I gave up caring about people knowing I’m wanking years ago, but this feature might be of interest to those of you with roommates and/or family at home.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
At £54.99 RRP it’s not a steal and may be outside of some budgets, but it’s still cheaper than some of the really high-end toys on the market and with the amount of functions it comes with, it’s well worth the price. Weirdly enough, you can buy them from Ocado grocery delivery service in the UK, which just cracks me the fuck up. So Divine products come with a two-year warranty. I haven’t had any cause to use it, so I can’t speak for their customer service, but they get 4.5 stars out of 5 on Trustpilot, so I’m going to go ahead and say you can probably order from them with confidence.

Materials: ★★★★★
Lovely silicon. Soft, smooth and SAFE. Gorgeous.

Appearance: ★★★★★
It’s a lovely, classy and stylish looking toy that comes in pink or purple colour options. Mine, of course, is purple. (My understanding is that the pink version is called Sweetest Taboo instead of Wicked Game, but is functionally identical.)

Ease of Use: ★★★★
The buttons are a little hard to press – especially in the, uh, throes of passion – but apart from that, the controls are pretty intuitive. There is an on/off button and buttons to cycle through the settings and switch between the internal and external settings. Nice and simple. Plus it’s light, so easy to hold – a good choice for someone who wants a wand style toy but would find holding a really heavy one difficult.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
Easy to wipe clean between uses – I recommend a body-safe sterile wipe available in bulk from medical suppliers. It’s waterproof, too, so can be submerged in water for a more thorough cleaning. For safer sex purposes if you share your toys, it’s condom-friendly in shape and material.

Versatility: ★★★★★
The Wicked Game has two ends, one insertable and one external, and ten different settings – 3 speeds and seven pulse patterns. Totally versatile depending on what you like and what you’re in the mood for today. It’s also waterproof, if wanking in the bath is your thing. Pro-tip: though it’s designed for vulvas, many penis-owners really enjoy vibrations on the head or shaft of their cock. Mr CK heartily endorses this toy for that purpose!

Intensity: ★★★★★
I’ve given this 5 stars even though it’s not as intense as I typically like my vibes, for the aforementioned reason of hitting the sweet spot between “meh, not intense enough” and “DON’T MOVE IT A MILLIMETRE OR IT WILL HURT.”

Overall Score: ★★★★★
Yeah, I love this vibe and, apart from wishing the head and shaft could vibrate at the same time, I can’t find any significant downsides. I think it’s going to become my favourite vibrator to use with a partner.

Go get yourself one.

Note: I won this toy and reviewed it because I was excited about it. I did not receive any payment or free products in exchange for this review and all opinions, as ever, are my own. If you’d like to support me, please consider becoming a sexy patron or buying me a virtual coffee.