[Toy Review] Lovehoney Deluxe Silicone G-Spot Wand Attachment

This is the latest in a series of wand attachment mini reviews. Check the wand attachments tag for the whole set!

Facts ‘n’ Figures

The G Spot silicone wand attachment on top of the Lovehoney classic wand.
Feat. Lovehoney Classic Wand

The Deluxe Silicone G-Spot Wand Attachment is a silicone cap that fits over your wand vibrator with a dildo-type appendage to allow for penetration and stimulation of the G-spot. It also sports a series of gentle nubs on the base designed to stimulate the clitoris once the shaft is inserted.

The insertable length is 5 inches and the circumference just 3.5″, making this a slimline insertable toy. It’s also completely smooth, so it’s super comfortable to insert. The colour is a lovely bright purple.

This attachment will fit the majority of wand vibrators. I used it with my Lovehoney Classic Wand, but it will also fit the Magic Wand Original, Doxy Original or Die Cast, and most standard-sized wands. The circumference of the base is 7 inches, with a tiny bit of stretch.

The Deluxe G-Spot Wand Attachment retails for £19.99 from Lovehoney.

Care, Cleaning and Safety

The Lovehoney G spot purple silicone wand attachmentThis attachment is made entirely of silicone, which is phthalate-free, non-toxic and non-porous, making it completely body-safe.

If your wand happens to have a porous head (some unfortunately still do, including the famed Magic Wand Original), using a silicone attachment is a great way to make it fully body-safe. Likewise, if you’re sharing your wand between partners and you’re not fluid-bonded, using attachments and swapping them out between users is an easy way to protect yourselves from unwanted fluids and potential STI transmission.

You can clean this attachment with a toy wipe or sterile medical wipe (I buy mine in bulk from medical suppliers,) and throw it in a pot of boiling water/a 10% bleach solution/the dishwasher to sterilise thoroughly.

Remember: this attachment is waterproof, but your wand probably isn’t! And as ever, water-based lube is recommended.

My Experience

I just… ugh, I really really don’t like strong vibrations inside my vagina or on my G-spot!  It’s much more uncomfortable and painful than pleasurable for me. So I cannot honestly say I enjoyed using this attachment.

However, this doesn’t mean it’s a bad product! It’s body-safe and well designed, and will work well for plenty of folks. It just wasn’t for me due to my body’s preferences. Despite this, I’m going to keep it in my collection as I’m certain it will work really well for the vulva-owners I play with who do enjoy intense vibrations on their G-spots.

Do I recommend it?

Yes, if… you like (or are wanting to experiment with) strong internal vibrations. If you like strong dual stimulation it may also work really well for you.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Deluxe G Spot Attachment and a collection of other wand attachments for review. Check out the wand attachments tag for all reviews in this series. If you buy using my affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission. All views are, and will always be, my own. Pictures are property of Lovehoney and used with permission.

[Toy Review] Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip Wand Attachment

This is the second in a serious of wand attachment reviews. I’m always getting asked about the best attachments for wand vibrators, so I thought it’s past time I tried some out and let y’all know what I thought. Because putting strange things on my genitals for science is what I do.

Up today: the Nuzzle Tip wand attachment by Wand Essentials.

The Important Stuff

The Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip attachment on the Lovehoney Classic Wand, lying on a white sheet.
Also feat. Lovehoney Classic Wand

The Nuzzle Tip is manufactured by US-based company Wand Essentials, who make wands of various kinds as well as dozens of different attachments. However, the Nuzzle Tip does not need to be used with a Wand Essentials wand – which is good, because I don’t own one! This attachment fits perfectly over the Magic Wand Original, Doxy Original or Die Cast, Lovehoney Classic, Deluxe and Desire wands, and will fit many others. The circumference is 7 inches and the silicone is just slightly stretchy. When in doubt, measure the head of your wand before buying.

The Nuzzle Tip features a tongue-like appendage, covered on the underside in little nodules. The advertising copy says it’s good for internal or external stimulation, but I really can’t see it being long enough to do much internally (there’s no way you’re reaching a G-spot with this thing!) It’s really a clitoral stimulation attachment.

I wish it wasn’t pink or at least came in other colour options, but you can’t have everything.

A Note on Safer Sex, Care and Cleaning…

The Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip on top of a pile of books, mainly about sex.
Also feat. part of my extensive book collection.

This attachment is made entirely of silicone, which is phthalate-free and non-porous. This means I am happy to recommend this attachment as 100% body-safe.

If your wand happens to have a porous head (some unfortunately still do, including the famed Magic Wand Original), using a silicone attachment is a great way to make it fully body-safe. Likewise, if you’re sharing your wand between partners and you’re not fluid-bonded, using attachments and swapping them out between users is an easy way to protect yourselves from unwanted fluids and potential STI transmission.

You can clean this attachment with a toy wipe or sterile medical wipe (I buy mine in bulk from medical suppliers,) and throw it in a pot of boiling water/a 10% bleach solution/the dishwasher to sterilise thoroughly.

Remember: this attachment is waterproof, but your wand probably isn’t!

So How Does It Feel?

The Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip lying on a fuck.com notebook.
Also feat. Notebook from Fuck Dot Com.

When you switch on your wand, the effect is that the tongue on the Nuzzle Tip sort of flicks up and down very fast with the vibrations. This results in very intense and fairly pinpoint clitoral stimulation. The silicone dampens the strength of the wand a little bit, but really not very much.

I actually find I can come more quickly with this attachment with the wand on a lower setting than I can with the wand on full power but without an attachment.

It feels divine, folks. The flicking motion is intense and delicious. I can come in 2-3 minutes easily with this attachment.

One word of caution: without enough lubrication, this kind of stimulation can feel so intense it’s painful, so I always recommend a generous blob of water-based lube.

I’m not ashamed to say I have used this attachment for every single purely-for-fun, not-testing-anything-for-review wank since I received it. I never thought anything could make me love wands even more, but this baby has done it.

So Do I Recommend It?

Yes! I cannot tell you enough how much I love this attachment. If you want intense clitoral stimulation or crave the power of a wand with more pinpoint precision, the Nuzzle Tip is for you.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this and other wand attachments for review. Check out the wand attachments tag for all reviews in this series. If you buy using my affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission. All views are, and will always be, my own. Pictures are by me and not for use without express permission.

The Big Damn Wands Comparison Post

I’m obsessed with wands.

I love them. I love the size and weight of them, the intense rumble of the vibrations. And I fucking love the way they rip orgasms from by body, sometimes taking me from cold to coming in as little as a couple of minutes.

All seven of the wand vibrators I own lying on my bed on a white sheet.

Whether you use them on a clit, a dick, or on your sore muscles, wands are fucking great.

“But which wand should I buy?” people often ask me. And my answer is… it depends. It depends what you’re looking for. So here I want to look at some of the most popular wands on the market that I’ve tried, and the pros and cons of each to help you make an informed decision.

The One That Started It All: The Magic Wand Original (AKA “Hitachi”)

The Hitachi Magic Wand Original, lying on a blue notebook covered in bi pride stickers.I reviewed this just yesterday! It’s the most famous wand vibrator of all, popularised in the 1960s by the amazing and inimitable Betty Dodson. In use, I found it decent but not world-rocking. Your mileage may vary, of course, and it’s popular for a reason!

Quick facts: Plastic body; PVC head; 2 settings; mains powered.

Pros: The most famous and original wand vibrator; trusted for over 50 years; VERY powerful; mains powered so will never run out of charge.

Cons: Only 2 settings; porous head; very flexible/bendy neck; almost impossible to source legitimately outside of North America; not particularly visually attractive; needs to be plugged in to use.

Get yours: SheVibe or TooTimid. Retail price anywhere between $60 and $120.

The Rechargeable One: Desire Luxury Rechargeable Magic Wand by Lovehoney

Good rechargeable wands are really hard to find. Those in the US and Canada have the Magic Wand Rechargeable at their disposal if they can afford it, but what are the rest of us to do? I’m pleased to say that Lovehoney’s Desire Wand really delivers in this regard.

Quick facts: plastic body; silicone head; mains rechargeable; 20 patterns and 5 levels of intensity.

Pros: completely body-safe; LOTS of settings so extremely customisable; rechargeable – no need for a plug socket; 3 hours running time on a 3 hour charge; travel lock; comes with an attractive faux-leather case; visually beautiful.

Cons: Pretty heavy; less rumbly than some other wands; you can only scroll one way through the pattern settings, so if you skip over the one you like you have to go allllll the way back through; risk of batteries running out mid-wank.

Get yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Lovehoney Canada. RRP £99.99, currently on sale for £69.99 in the UK.

The Budget Option: Lovehoney Classic Mains Powered Wand

A white female hand holding the Lovehoney Classic Wand, a white wand vibrator decorated with a little red heart.

I initially didn’t expect much from this one, given the cheaper price-tag compared to luxury wands, but I was quite pleasantly surprised! I haven’t actually done a stand-alone review of this one yet but I will. With some caveats (see below) I’m happy to recommend it as a lower budget option for a wand.

Quick facts: Plastic body; rigid PVC-coated head; variable speeds controlled with a sliding wheel; mains powered.

Pros: Affordable; VERY powerful for the price; mains powered so no risk of running out of battery; easy slider control.

Cons: No pattern settings; somewhat porous head (using a condom is recommended); needs to be plugged in to use; one of the louder models.

Get yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Lovehoney Canada. RRP £49.99.

The Extremely Light One: Pink BOB Allure Wand

The Pink BOB Allure Wand, a pink wand style vibrator.I reviewed this one recently and overall liked it more than I expected to. It’s never going to be a top go-to wand recommendation in general, but some people struggle with the weight of some heavier wands and this is a good bet in that regard.

Quick facts: plastic body; silicone head cover; 20 speed/pattern settings; mains powered.

Pros: Body-safe; extremely light compared to all other models; very versatile with so many settings; mains-powered so no risk of running out of battery; solid level of power for the price.

Cons: EXTREMELY PINK; not the finest quality silicone; gets hot after more than 3o minutes’ use; “Battery Operated Boyfriend” as a brand-name.

Get yours: TooTimid. RRP $69.95.

The ‘Mid Budget, High Quality’ One: Lovehoney Deluxe Extra Powerful Mains Powered Wand

The Lovehoney Deluxe Wand, a black magic wand vibrator decorated with a little grey heart.I JUST tried this one last night and haven’t even reviewed it yet. Bear with me, though – I definitely will! In short I really like it and I’m growing more and more impressed with what Lovehoney are doing with their own-brand luxury toys.

Quick facts: Plastic body; silicone head; 10 speeds and 20 pattern settings; mains powered.

Pros: Body-safe; really good price for a luxury toy; mains-powered, so no risk of running out of charge; dozens of speed/pattern combinations so extremely versatile; sleek and attractive design; impressive level of power.

Cons: Pretty heavy; less rumbly than some other wands; you can only scroll one way through the pattern settings, so if you skip over the one you like you have to go allllll the way back through; needs to be plugged in to use.

Get yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Lovehoney Canada. RRP £79.99.

The Tiny But Mighty One: Doxy Number 3

A white female upturned hand holding the Doxy Number 3, a small silver wand vibrator with a black head.

Mr CK rolled his eyes at me when I brought this one home. “Surely you don’t need another Doxy?” Yes, friends, I definitely did. This baby is a POWERHOUSE, despite its small size. It’s the only wand I own that can make me come, through underwear, in less than a minute pretty reliably.

Quick facts: Aluminium body; silicone head; multiple graded settings and an escalating pulsation mode.

Pros: Body-safe; RIDICULOUSLY POWERFUL; rumbly vibrations; removable silicone head for easy cleaning; by far the smallest wand with this level of power on the market; mains powered, so no risk of running out of charge; sleek and attractive design; fantastic, ethical company with brilliant customer service.

Cons: Expensive; weighty for its small size, needs to be plugged in to use.

Get Yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Shevibe. RRP £119.99.

The Most Beautiful One: Doxy Die Cast

The Doxy Die Cast, a deep purple wand vibrator with a large black silicone head.

I don’t actually own one of these! (Any companies or generous readers want to send me a present? 😉 ). But I’ve tried out a friend’s one and it’s pretty divine.

Quick facts: Aluminium and titanium alloy body; silicone head; mains powered; multiple graded settings and an escalating pulsation mode.

Pros: Body-safe; RIDICULOUSLY POWERFUL; rumbly vibrations; mains-powered; the most beautiful wand on the market hands-down; fantastic, ethical company with brilliant customer service.

Cons: The most expensive on this list; only 1 “pattern” setting; very heavy; needs to be plugged in to use.

Get Yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Lovehoney Canada, Shevibe, The Pleasure Garden. RRP £149.99.

My Favourite One: Doxy Original

The Doxy Original, a purple wand style vibrator with a grey head, held on an upturned palm.What can I say!? I’m a loyal girl. Mr CK gave me one of these for my birthday our first year together, and I’m only about 10% joking when I say that’s when I knew he was a keeper.

Quick facts: Plastic body; non-porous, medical-grade PVC head; mains powered; multiple graded settings and an escalating pulsation mode.

Pros: Body-safe; RIDICULOUSLY POWERFUL; rumbly vibrations; mains-powered, so no worries about it running out of charge; comes in several different colours including purple, pink and white; fantastic, ethical company with brilliant customer service; has come down in price and is now really good value for the quality.

Cons: Only 1 “pattern” setting; needs to be plugged in to use.

Get Yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Lovehoney Canada, Shevibe, The Pleasure Garden. RRP £89.99.

IN CONCLUSION

No-one except you can say with any certainty what the right wand for you will be… or even if wands are the right toys for you at all. They’re not for everyone. But I hope this post will have given you an insight into the pros and cons of various models I’ve tried, and why I think they’re great (or not so great).

Happy shopping, and you can always email me or hit me up on Twitter for a personalised recommendation!

Affiliate links are used in this post. Shopping with them sends a small kickback my way and helps me keep doing this work. Thanks to TooTimid and Lovehoney for providing me the toys required to do this post. Images are either by me, or property of the featured retailers, and must not be reproduced without express permission.

[Toy Review] Magic Wand Original AKA “The Hitachi”

Yep, I finally got my hands on one of these! I’m currently working on a wand vibrators comparison piece and I didn’t feel right in doing this without trying, as it’s so often described, ‘The Cadillac of Vibrators’. Thanks to my contact at TooTimid for hooking me up with this product, which is notoriously hard to come by in the UK.

The Magic Wand Original, previously known as the Hitachi Magic Wand or simply the Hitachi, is the toy that started it all when it comes to wand-style massagers. Originally sold as a ‘personal massager’ for sore muscles, it was Betty Dodson – masturbation connoisseur and vibrator peddler extraordinaire – who popularised the Magic Wand as a tool for masturbation. Since then, there have been countless copycats and imitations, plenty of them terrible and some of them even unsafe. But the Magic Wand still reigns supreme as the most famous and sought-after vibrator of them all.

The Hitachi Magic Wand Original, lying on a blue notebook covered in bi pride stickers.

Okay, enough with the history lesson. Let’s look at the product.

The Magic Wand Original comes packaged in a simple blue and white box with a picture of the product on the outside. This has changed remarkably little from the original packaging of the 1960s, except that the ‘Hitachi’ name has been removed. (The company removed their name from the product in 2013, though continued to manufacture it after persuasion from distributor Vibratex).

The wand is 12 inches long in total and weighs 540g. This puts it on the heavier side which might not be accessible or easily usable for everyone. I didn’t struggle with it in this regard, but I’m able-bodied. If you struggle to hold heavy things or have a condition such as arthritis, you may want to take the weight and size of the thing into account. A good option for those who want to use a powerful wand but struggle to hold or manipulate it is to use a wand mount such as those made by Liberator.

Materials

The body is made of plastic, and the head appears to be PVC, though some retailers list it as TPE. Either way, the material is unlikely to be toxic but is somewhat porous. This means it will harbour bacteria and is impossible to truly 100% clean. What this means, in practice, is that your Magic Wand probably won’t last forever. You will also want to use a barrier if you’re going to be sharing it with a partner. STIs can be transmitted via non-sterilised toys! One option is to buy an attachment or a replacement cap such as the Off With Your Head by Vixen, which are silicone and therefore non-porous and truly body-safe.

Also worth mentioning: if you upgrade to the Magic Wand Rechargeable model, the head is silicone.

I’ll say this, it’s powerful as fuck.

The Magic Wand Original has 3 settings: Off, High, and Holy-Fucking-Shit! Yes, if power is what you want, this toy delivers. There are no patterns and no finely graded settings, so if that’s what you need, avoid. But for pure power, it’s a solid bet.  The vibrations felt rumbly and penetrating. Even the lowest setting will be satisfying to all but the greatest of power queens. (Anyone who has met my clitoris will be entirely unsurprised to know that I whacked it onto the Holy-Fucking-Shit setting and left it there until I’d come three or four times). It’s loud, but most wands are. It’s not distractingly loud, from my perspective, but someone in the next room can easily hear it. So bear this in mind if you’ve got roommates/family/kids and are trying to be discreet.

Despite the power, though, I found myself annoyed by the softness of the head and the flexibility of the neck. When I’m playing with a really powerful toy, I want to be able to push it hard against my vulva and feel the vibrations everywhere.  The bendy neck made it difficult to get the level of purchase I really desired. In this regard, it loses out to the Doxy Number 3 with its rigid silicone head and less flexible neck.

User-friendliness and care

The Magic Wand Original is operated by a simple, one button interface which makes it really easy to use. It has to be plugged into the wall, but the cord is a decent 5ft long, so you can use it even if your bed (or wherever you wank, I make no assumptions!) is a ways away from the nearest socket.

When it comes to care and cleaning, this toy – as I mentioned above – is somewhat porous. It’s also not waterproof, so please don’t submerge it to clean (or try to use it in the bath)! I recommend wiping clean with a body-safe sterile medical wipe, using a condom if you’re sharing it, and considering investing in a silicone cap or attachment like those linked above.

So is it worth the hype/money?

The Magic Wand Original tends to retail for between $80 and $120 depending on the retailer. I’m going to say my verdict is a qualified “worth it”. It IS a reasonable quality and very powerful toy. However, if you’ve got that amount of money to throw at a wand vibe, the Doxy will always be my first recommendation.

My overwhelming impression from the Magic Wand Original is, “I enjoyed it just fine, but I was less blown away than I hoped/expected to be, given the hype”. I’ve given it 3 and a half stars, it would have been a solid 4 if the head was non-porous.

Image result for three and a half stars

Thanks to TooTimid for sending me this toy to review!  All opinions are, and will always be, my own. You can buy your Magic Wand Original from TooTimid. Some of the links in this post are affiliate links and buying from them supports my work. Enjoyed this review? Buy me a coffee to say thanks!

Picture is by me. Do not steal my images.

No, You Cannot Get “Addicted” to a Vibrator

Anyone who has read my work for any length of time will know how I feel about the concept of “sex addiction” – in short, that it’s medically meaningless, so broadly applied as to be useless, and the sole criteria to diagnose someone seems to be “has sex more than the diagnoser or in ways that the diagnoser finds personally distasteful.” Read Dr David Ley’s amazing book for more information if this interests you.

Today, though, I want to talk about “sex addiction”‘s equally insidious little sister – “vibrator addiction.”

A close up of cocaine powder and a rolled up £10 note. For a post about being addicted to vibrators.

I have a variation of this conversation at least weekly, either online or occasionally in real life:

Them: “I want a good clitoral vibrator for me/for my female partner.”
Me: “Try the Doxy! It’s great because…” (*sends link*)
Them: “Oh no, that looks like something I/she could get addicted to!”
Me: *facedesks into next week*

I am here to clear up this myth once and for all, and also to have a central resource to point people to so I don’t have to have this argument on a weekly basis. S0:

You cannot get addicted to a vibrator.

Repeat after me: You. Cannot. Get. Addicted. To. A. Vibrator.

The fears here seem to fall broadly into three camps, so I am going to tackle each of them one at a time.

Fear the first: “I’ll break/stretch/loosen/desensitize my vulva if I use toys too much.”

Genitals are fucking cool, y’all. They do not “break” or “wear out” from overuse, and they are remarkable at bouncing back – for fuck’s sake, pushing an entire small human out of a vagina causes it more strain than even the most hardcore of sex toys!

I think this myth is closely associated with the (also false) narrative of a vagina becoming “loose” or “used up” if its owner has too much sex or has sex with too many different people. It fails to neglect the medical reality that the vagina is a muscle and muscles Do Not Work That Way.

You cannot break your vagina. You cannot stretch it out permanently in any kind of significant way. It won’t mold around a toy and become unable to enjoy anything else. It won’t break or become unable to have or enjoy sex in the future. Promise!

There is also no evidence whatsoever that prolonged or repeated usage of vibrators – even really high-powered ones like my beloved Doxy or the famed Hitachi – causes any long-term loss of sensation in the clitoris or vulva. At most, some people report feeling desensitized for a short while after a toy session – especially with buzzier toys – but these effects are really short-lived (typically minutes or hours) and cause no long-term damage or change in sensation whatsoever.

I’ve been using my Doxy for years – probably for ten orgasms a week for two and a half years, on average? – and other vibes long before that, and I still squirm at the slightest flick of my partner’s tongue over my clit. Vibes will not ruin the nerves or the sensation in your bits. I promise.

Tangential but related: I also see a lot of questions along the lines of “I used a toy and now my bits hurt, did I irreparably damage myself?” No, you probably used a toy made from a toxic material, or used a toy made from a material you’re for some reason sensitive to, or didn’t use enough lube, or didn’t warm yourself up enough, or it’s just your body’s response to a new stimulus that it’s not used to. (A bit like your muscles ache the next day if you do a new form of exercise!)

Fear the second: “But what if using a vibrator is the only way I can orgasm?”

I’m going to say something truly radical now.

If using a vibrator is the only or the most reliable way for you to achieve orgasm: USE THE FUCKING VIBRATOR, ENJOY YOUR ORGASMS, AND DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT.

Orgasms are great, and we should all be having as many of them in our lives as we wish to. There are countless ways to reach orgasm – from fucking, manual sex, oral sex, anal play, being punched in the butt (or is that last one just me?) And, of course, via the use of sex toys such as vibrators.

Here’s a secret: all these ways of reaching orgasm are equally wonderful, equally valid and equally real. ALL orgasms are wonderful as long as everyone involved in inducing them is consenting. That’s literally the only criteria.

I encourage everyone who wants to, to experiment with all different kinds of pleasure and see what works for them and what feels good. It’s also worth remembering that these things can, and probably will, change over time. I used to come reliably from clitoral fingering by a partner, but my clit got more sensitive as I got older and now this is a pretty rare feat. Conversely, I never used to have G-spot orgasms, but now I have them quickly, explosively and repeatedly. And my experience with using toys has been that it has broadened my experience of pleasure and the ways in which I am able to come.

However, no form of pleasure or orgasm is inherently any better than any other. Some vulva-owners spend their entire lives chasing the elusive vaginal-only orgasm, but the reality is that somewhere between 50 and 90 percent of vulvas simply don’t work that way. People often become deeply upset because they, or their partner, doesn’t reach orgasm from oral sex – even if they enjoy the sensation and the act itself. I think these beliefs are heavily tied in with the mistaken notion that we should be able to bring our partners to easy and explosive multiple orgasms with nothing but our hands/mouth/dick, and that anything else – whether it’s them masturbating themselves or using a toy or even just enjoying a session where orgasm isn’t necessarily the goal – is somehow lesser.

I am here to tell you that it’s not. If you come easily in fifty different ways, you’re beautiful and valid. If you only come with a vibrator or other toy or in some other super specific way, you’re equally beautiful and valid.

The overwhelming majority of the time, my answer to “Dear Amy, please help, the only way I can reliably orgasm is by doing this thing” is “….then do that thing.”

Fear the third: “Can toys become a replacement for partnered sex?”

The short answer is no. The long answer is this post in response to a worried reader who was afraid his girlfriend’s dildo would replace him.

A lot of people are afraid that they, or their partners, will find the stimulation they get from a toy to be so overwhelmingly amazing that they won’t have any need for partnered sex in the future.

Again, this is not only completely lacking in evidence, I’ve actually found the opposite is more often true. Exploring my sexuality through toys has increased my potential for erotic enjoyment and therefore improved the partnered sex I have. I am not the only person to have reported this kind of experience.

A toy, however much you love it, cannot be a substitute for a partner. Terms like “battery operated boyfriend” or “the perfect lover” to describe toys have a lot to answer for. Until a toy is sentient, there for me, makes me laugh, snuggles me at night, watches Netflix with me, takes me on adventures and brings me coffee, it is NOT a boyfriend/lover/partner – it’s an inanimate object, a tool through which to experience pleasure.

As I said to our friend who was jealous of his girlfriend’s favourite silicone dick:

Partnered sex is about so much more than just “does your body part satisfy my body part?” It’s about connection, about the feel and smell and warmth of a partner close to you, about the thud of body-on-body, about the rhythm and the dance and the responses between two (or more) people. Partnered sex is in-fucking-credible for so many reasons and a toy can’t fully replicate many of them. Pervocracy has a great article on some of the reasons people might love partnered sex.

So no. Your girlfriend isn’t going to dump you or stop having sex with you because she likes her vibrator more, and she’s not going to get so hooked on wanking with it that you never see her. (That stupid scene in Sex & the City also has a lot to answer for here!)

In short: “Vibrator Addiction” is a shaming tactic, and nothing more.

It shames people who struggle to achieve orgasm without a toy, people who don’t orgasm in socially sanctioned ways (i.e. by penetration with a penis,) people who need a lot of stimulation in order to come… and basically just adds to the stigma of vulva-owners masturbating and prioritising their pleasure.

It’s also sexist as fuck. If a cis man masturbates to porn two or three times a day, people will see him as a normal guy with a healthy sex drive. But if a woman or other person with a vulva uses a vibrator most days or every day, she may well face accusations of being addicted.

Addiction is a serious medical problem with causes major issues in the sufferer’s life and the lives of the people around them. No-one, to the best of my knowledge, has ever turned to crime, alienated their family and friends, lost their job or run themselves into debt because their Magic Wand just felt too good and gave them too many orgasms. Minimising the very real pain of addiction and co-opting it as a sex-shaming tactic is incredibly insensitive and harmful to anyone who has suffered from addiction or been affected by having a sufferer close to them.

So let’s stop with the “vibrators are addictive” bullshit and let people have orgasms in the ways that work for them, yes?

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator

This toy comes to me courtesy of my friend TigerStripes, whose podcast Kinky Discussions you should totally check out!

 The back of the Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator in purple The front and buttons of the Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator in purple

This toy has a lot to recommend it. I’m a big fan of Lovehoney – they mainly avoid gimmicks, have a solid returns policy, and provide good quality toys at reasonable prices, with quick and discreet delivery. I bought my first ever sex toy (a tiny bullet vibe) from them nine years ago and I still go to them for the majority of my sexy needs.

The Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator is a nice simple little clitoral vibrator. It’s USB rechargeable and waterproof. The front has 3 buttons – on/turn up, setting change, and off/turn down. It’s around 3 inches long and is inflexible but very soft. It also comes in an attractive and discreet case.

The end curves to a soft point which is perfect for those who prefer their clitoral stimulation direct and focused, or you can also use the rounder end for a more generalised sensation. For me, it actually worked best when I pressed it side on to my clit, but your mileage – and body – may vary. It has 8 different modes or ‘patterns’ of vibration. As is usual for me, I preferred the constant vibration turned on high, but it’s worth experimenting to see what works best for you. The ramp-up-then-back-down setting is perfect for a slow tease!

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
Full disclosure: I got this at less than retail price from my friend. It retails at £59.99, which is definitely out of some budgets but worth spending for a good toy if you can afford it.

Materials: ★★★★★
The Desire Clitoral Vibe is made of beautiful soft silicone with a matte finish and contains no latex or phthalates, which means it’s body-safe and also suitable for anyone with a latex allergy, as well as feeling absolutely gorgeous.

Appearance: ★★★★
I can’t fault the design – it’s small and cute and it comes in either pink or purple. I do wish sex toys were more widely available in a greater range of colours, but that’s a gripe with the industry as a whole.

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
Very light, ergonomically designed and fits well in my tiny hand. This is a real plus as I sometimes struggle to hold and manipulate bigger toys for the 20+ minutes it can take me to get off. The buttons are easy to press and it’s so self-explanatory that I haven’t even opened the instruction booklet.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
Easy to clean with a sterile wipe available from medical suppliers, or some toy cleaner available from most sex toy shops (read the ingredients! Sometimes toy cleaners contain nasty unsafe chemicals.) It’s waterproof and silicone, so can be totally submerged for a full cleaning.  It’s not the obvious shape to use with a condom, but as always I recommend doing so if you’re sharing your toys with a non fluid-bonded partner. You could also use a barrier like a dental dam if it’s easier.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Desire Clitoral Vibe comes with 8 functions and the constant vibration speed can be turned up or down. It can be positioned against your clitoris in different ways depending on where you like your vibrations focussed. It’s waterproof, so you can use it in the bath or shower if that’s your thing. Not suitable for internal use.

Intensity: ★★★
This is really the only place this toy falls down. I would have liked it to go a notch or two more powerful. That said, it did get me off, it just took longer than it would with a higher powered vibe. Good if you have a sensitive clit and find the Doxys and Hitachis of this world too overwhelming.

Overall Score: ★★★★
Overall, I really like this toy from the new Desire range and I’m happy to recommend it. I’m giving it 4 ★s instead of 5 only because, as mentioned above, it could stand to be a touch more powerful.

Recommended for newbies and toy lovers alike. Not a good choice for serious power queens.

I bought this toy for myself from a friend and chose to review it here for informational purposes. This post contains affiliate links and if you buy through one, I may make a small commission. All opinions are, and will always be, my own.