[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit

I often groan at the idea – and the reality – of sex toy kits. Too often, they’re lots of cheap and bad quality things shoved together in a pretty box and sold for a premium. If pressed for an opinion, I’ll nearly always tell my readers to forego a kit and spend a bit more on just one or two quality items. However, I try to keep an open mind, and occasionally something surprises me. The Take Control Bondage Kit from Lovehoney pleasantly surprised me.

Through the eyes of a beginner…

I’m practically a kinky veteran at this point. I’ve been practicing BDSM for about a decade and have accrued a sizeable collection of toys – expensive leather floggers, my fabulous vegan leather collar, the gorgeous hand-made whip I gave Mr CK last Christmas, our electro-play kit, and more. So beginner kits are not something I would ever normally buy for myself. Therefore, I am trying to step back in time ten years or so and view this kit through the eyes of someone who is just starting out in their kinky explorations.

Inviting and Fun Packaging…

The Take Control Bondage Kit comes in one simple box, with all the products clearly displayed on the front so you know exactly what to expect. The packaging is bright and fun, which I suspect is a deliberate choice to make it non-intimidating to the new and nervous.

There’s a LOT of information on the box, too. I really like the way that there’s a brief description on how to use each item on the back, and also that they pay attention to safety and consent! The box reminds you to use safewords, never leave a bound person alone, and have a non-verbal safe signal if someone is gagged. In this regard, I’m really impressed. It’s pretty 101 stuff, but safety/consent 101 is exactly the information that the target market for this kit needs. A+ for that.

The unboxing…

I wasn’t delighted with the way the box was packed – everything was just sort of piled in, each item wrapped in a cellophane wrapper. It would have been nicer to have an inner tray with slots for everything. Some little storage bags for the items would also be a welcome addition. Assuming you don’t want to throw everything back in the box when you’re done playing, it’s not an ideal storage solution.

With that said, I was immediately pretty impressed with what was inside. Some (many) beginner BDSM kits are filled with things that are dubiously even safe, let alone of good quality.

Let’s take a look at what’s inside, shall we? Just for fun, I’ve included a fun tip or an idea to try with each item.

1: Blindfold

This blindfold is super comfy. It’s nice and thick and padded, and I couldn’t see a thing when it was on. The band is stretchy, too, so it should fit most people comfortably.

Pro kink tip: blindfold your partner and stroke different things across their body – a silk scarf, a piece of velvet, the tails of your flogger – and make them guess what each item is.

2. Nipple suckers

I really liked these! They’re a great gentle introduction to nipple play, and perfect if you want some sensation but without the pain of clamps or clothes pegs. I have pretty small nipples on fairly large breasts, and I found these stayed in place very nicely once I’d suctioned them onto my chest.

If you flick or hit them too hard, they will fly off, but they can withstand some gentle playing and wiggling.

Pro kink tip: tell your partner to fetch you something from another room with these on. They’ll have to move carefully… they’ll be spanked if one falls off!

3. Ball gag

Full disclosure: I hate ball gags. I fucking hate them. They make my jaw hurt, they make my face contort into an expression that no-one could possibly find attractive, they make me drool, and I can’t kiss my partner when I’m wearing one. I. Hate. Them.

With that said, this is a good one if you like that sort of thing. The holes make it breathable, and being silicone it’s non-porous which makes it hygienic. The holes do make it somewhat of a pain to clean, so take extra care when you’re cleaning it. Warm water and gentle soap is the best way to go here.

I also like how adjustable this gag is. With 9 buckle holes, it will fit most people comfortably.

Pro kink tip: make your submissive try to repeat words back to you (try phrases like “I’m a dirty little slut”) while gagged.

4. Flogger

This is a stingy little bastard! Don’t let the small size fool you, it can pack a wallop. The falls are made of thin rubber, which delivers a vicious sting when you put some force behind it. If pain isn’t your thing, you can drag it sensually across the skin for a gentle tickle. I would have liked the handle to have a bit more width and weight to it.

Pro kink tip: Try – gently – flogging the vulva or penis if your partner is up for it. Remember to clean your flogger thoroughly afterwards.

5. Wrist and ankle cuffs

These were the weakest part of the kit by far, for me. They’re quite thin and made of nylon, with no padding, which means they chafe if you put any pressure on them at all. They’re fine for exploring the feeling of being restrained, but if you’re into rough play and would be wanting to pull against them, they’re not a good option for that.

Try restraint with these, by all means, to see if you like it. But then ditch them and get some proper cuffs. And I hope it goes without saying that you should never, EVER suspend from wrist or ankle cuffs. These are not designed to take any real weight.

Pro kink tip: Restrain your partner then make them watch you masturbate in front of them.

6. Under-bed restraints

These are great, except for the tiny detail that they don’t fit on our bed! We have a Super King bed (which is the best thing ever, seriously. I always tell Mr CK that my relationship with him and the bed is polyamorous in itself.) Turns out these restraints fit up to King Size. So they’ll be fine for the vast majority of people, but if you have a ridiculous bed like us, they may not fit.

That said, they’re still a great addition to the kit. They’re strong, durable, and easy to set up… and tuck out of sight when you’re done, if you want to. The little clips mean you can easily add different cuffs to them, so when you ditch the rubbish cuffs in this set and get some better ones, you can still use them with this restraint system.

Pro kink tip: when your partner is restrained, run a cube of ice along their body… or drip candle wax onto their skin (read up on how to do wax play safely first, of course!)

7. Silicone suction-cup dildo

Do my eyes deceive me, or… no, it’s actually a body-safe dildo in a BDSM kit! With an insertable length of 6 inches and a diameter of 1.5″, it’s perfect for vaginal play. It’s possibly a bit ambitious for first-time anal sex or pegging, but most people could easily work up to it with a bit of time and warm-up.

The slight curve makes this dildo feel delicious for G-spot or prostate stimulation, and the silicone is super soft and silky. The suction cup is also a nice addition and makes this toy more versatile.

It’s even got a convenient hollow in the base where you can slip the bullet vibe that comes with this kit to turn your dildo into a G-spot vibrator!

Remember to use water-based lube with your silicone dildo for the best experience.

Pro kink tip: tease your lover’s entrance with just the tip of the dildo. If they want it inside, they have to thrust on to it!

8. Strap-on harness

This is actually the same harness that I bought as part of a pegging kit a few years ago. I’ve used it many, many times to top for both vaginal and anal penetration, and it’s still my favourite harness. It’s comfortable, the dildo stays in place well during thrusting, and the rings are interchangeable so you can use it with any dildo with a flared base.

Pro kink tip: If you have a vulva, put on a wearable vibrator before you put on your harness, so that you get some clitoral pleasure while you fuck your partner.

9. Wired bullet vibrator

This was the biggest surprise in the kit for me. I was fully expecting it to be awful. While it’s not the strongest vibrator in the world, it’s not a bad little bullet for the size. I was able to orgasm with it quickly and easily. It has a number of patterns as well as steady vibration speeds.

I didn’t love the wire element, but you cannot expect to get a wireless bullet for this price-point. It’s long enough for one partner to comfortably have control of the remote while the other holds the vibrator against their genitals.

Pro kink tip: switch it off just when your lover is on the edge of orgasm. Make them beg for release.

Other things to note

  • The bullet takes 2x AAA batteries, not included.
  • There is no real leather in this kit, making it entirely vegan-friendly.

Overall Verdict: do I recommend it?

On the whole, a very solid kit for the price. I wouldn’t recommend it to folks more experienced in kink and BDSM, but for those of you who are new and looking to explore different sensations and types of power-play, this kit is a great starting point.

The Take Control kit retails for £79.99 ($109.99 US) which is a reasonable price for the quality and variety. As you get more into your kink and discover what you like, I’d encourage you to drop more money on single items if you can – a quality, handcrafted whip or flogger will last you a lifetime, perhaps, or some really high quality natural fibre rope? But to get you started? Look no further.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Take Control Bondage Kit in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to purchase this or anything else from Lovehoney, please buy through my affiliate links – it supports the blog at no extra cost to you!

 

[Toy Review] Womanizer Premium

I’ve been wanting to get my hands on a Womanizer for SO long, you guys. I think I missed the buzz (heh) when they first launched as the first few models were already old news when I started my blog, so I was delighted to see that A) there are new models out, and B) Lovehoney were kind enough to provide me with one to review for you all.

The Womanizer Premium on a wooden floor.Now, for those who don’t know, Womanizer were the first company to create clitoral suction toys of the kind that are now made by a whole host of companies. Many sex toy experts hold them up as the original and best, while others say they’re overpriced and the much more affordable Satisfyers do just as good a job. I’m not here to compare these toys today (though I will at some point) but felt that little bit of context was relevant.

Stats & Things

The Womanizer Premium on a wooden floor.The Womanizer Premium is the latest in Womanizer’s line of toys utilising what they call “Pleasure Air Technology”. Essentially, the nozzle creates a seal around the clitoris and the toy provides stimulation via rapid pulses of air.

This toy operates off a simple interface of 4 buttons. The bottom button just above the charging point switches the toy on and off; the one with a little wave pattern on it switches in and out of Auto Pilot mode; and the +/- buttons adjust the speeds. The buttons are easy to press, and well positioned to change the speed when in use without breaking your flow.

It’s USB rechargeable, completely waterproof, and ergonomically designed to fit comfortably in the user’s hand.

Premium Product, Premium Packaging… Premium Pricetag

The Womanizer Premium black box.The Womanizer Premium lives up to its name before you even take it out of the box. The packaging is elaborate and decorated in a style which makes me think of perfume or high-end make-up, with a clear section where you can see the toy. Included with the toy is the charging cable, a convenient storage bag, and two nozzles of different sizes (so you can swap them out depending on what suits your body).

The Womanizer Premium box openNow this toy screams luxury to me. The velvety soft premium silicone (available in three  colours and, praise be to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, none of them are pink!) and subtle gold-coloured accents add to the luxurious feel.

This product does, though, come with a premium price-tag. It retails for £169.99 ($198.99 US). Do I think it’s worth it? Eh… maybe. It’s a damn good product from a trusted company, and if you can drop this kind of money on a toy it’ll be an investment that will last you for years. On the other hand, if money is tighter you can forego some of the special features (more on that later) you can get the Classic model or a much cheaper Satisfyer without losing a tonne of functionality. This toy does have some distinct advantages over cheaper models, but whether they’re worth the extra cost is a personal choice.

Body-Safety and Cleaning Concerns

The 100% silicone (apart from the ABS accents) of this toy make it completely body-safe. As it’s completely waterproof, you can submerge it to clean it all over. As an extra hygiene precaution, I recommend taking off the nozzle and sterilising it in boiling water or a 10% bleach solution after every few uses. In between, a sterile medical wipe will do the job just fine.

Sharing suction toys can be an issue, as they are not barrier compatible. Fortunately, this toy comes with two nozzles (and you can buy extras) so I recommend just swapping nozzles between partners if more than one person is going to be using it.

As ever, I recommend water-based lube.

Special Features

The Womanizer Premium has three defining features which set it apart from the lower priced models.

Firstly, it boasts a massive 12 speed settings (the Classic model has only 8), with the lowest setting lower and the highest setting higher than ever before.

Second, it has a super nifty body-sensor feature they call Smart Silence, which means the toy turns itself off automatically when it’s not in contact with the body, and then back on again (on the same setting) when contact is reestablished. It’s really cool and I like it a lot. No more fumbling with buttons if your roommate knocks on the door or your child barges in at an inopportune moment!

And finally, there’s the Auto Pilot mode. I hate this, because it’s basically a glorified pattern, but I think a lot of people will love it. In Auto Pilot, the intensity moves automatically between speeds (within a range of 4, which you can turn up or down). Personally, I want to be in control – it can ruin my chances of orgasm if the stimulation changes suddenly when I’m getting close – but others may love this. It could be fun to utilise as part of an edging or orgasm control game?

So how does it actually feel?

Short answer: amazing.

Long answer: it feels like it’s caressing your clit with a fierce determination to rip an orgasm from you whether you want it to or not, and when it does it’s the kind of orgasm that drenches the sheets and wakes the neighbours.

…At least that was my experience.

After a lackluster first try or two last year, I’m a serious suction toys convert. The differences between each model of suction toy are fairly subtle, but I’d describe this one as gentler than some others – even at the higher settings. If you’ve got a super sensitive clit and other toys of this type have been too intense for you, the Womanizer Premium on the lower settings might be the perfect choice.

Anything I Didn’t Love?

Well, that stupid Auto Pilot setting, but it’s easy to forget that exists. It’s also not the quietest, even when pressed against the body. For reference, my partner could hear it in the next room. It’s quieter than a wand but definitely louder than a bullet.

Otherwise, I can’t think of a single thing I didn’t enjoy about this toy.

So do I recommend it?

Yes, if you can afford to drop close to £200 on a toy and want something really luxurious that will last you for many years!

Thank you to Lovehoney for sending me the Womanizer Premium to review. All views are, as ever, entirely my own. If you buy through my affiliate links I make a small commission. Thank you for supporting my work when you buy your sex toys! All images are by me and not to be reproduced without permission.

[Toy Review] Happy Rabbit Thrusting Realistic Rabbit Vibrator

This review is my first post of #Smutathon2018: #SmutForChoice Edition. Please donate to our page for Abortion Support Network, and don’t forget to leave your email address or Twitter handle so we can enter you into the raffle to win some awesome sex toys! Now on to the review…

A Thrusting Vibrator?

I have a complicated relationship with rabbit vibrators – I occasionally find one I love, often find one I hate, and am frequently quite indifferent to this whole category of toys. The main reason for my struggle with dual stimulation toys is that I just don’t like vibrations inside my vagina. My G-spot, as I have mentioned previously, either wants to be pounded, caressed or left alone – never vibrated. (Coming up later will be a guide to choosing a rabbit, so look out for that!) So when I saw that Lovehoney’s new line of Happy Rabbit vibrators includes a rabbit with a shaft that thrusts rather than vibrates, I simply had to try it out.

The Thrusting Happy Rabbit standing up on a wooden dresser.Bunny Bits ‘n’ Bobs

The Thrusting Happy Rabbit is one of seven toys in Lovehoney’s new Happy Rabbit range. It’s quite a large toy at 9 inches in total length, 4.75″ of which is insertable, and a diameter of 1.5″.

There are two control buttons, one to control the thrusting motion and one to control the clitoral vibrations in the ears. The one-button control for the vibrations is annoying, as you have to scroll all the way through in order to go back to a previous setting. Toy designers: up and down buttons, please!  I do also wish it wasn’t quite so pink.

The Thrusting Rabbit is fully waterproof, and is USB rechargeable, giving a decent 120 minutes play time from a 150-minute charge.

A hopping good time

A gif of the Thrusting Happy Rabbit in action.I admit I looked at this toy and gulped – I normally need a good amount of warm-up to take something this size internally. Thankfully, apparently “haven’t had an orgasm in a few days” + “lube” = sufficient warm-up.

What surprised me even more was that it brought me to orgasm in under five minutes!

The thrusting motion feels amazing. There are three different speeds of thrusting motion to choose from. I preferred the slowest speed, but as ever your mileage may vary.

The “ears” are thick and firm, and have a massive fifteen different vibration settings. They’re not the most powerful vibrations you’ll ever find, but they were more than sufficient to get me off. The clitoral arm has some flexibility, so you can maneuver it to fit with your body.

The main downside in this toy, for me, is the sound. It’s not exactly loud – my partner couldn’t hear it from the next room with the door shut – but the thrusting motion sort of… squeaks? It wasn’t distracting enough to stop me enjoying all the good points of this product, but if you’re very sensitive to sounds (particularly higher pitched sounds) it’s something to be aware of.

Materials & Cleaning

The entire Happy Rabbit range are made from body-safe, non-porous, phthalate-free silicone. A far cry from the horrible jelly things that everyone went mad for after that episode of Sex & the City aired 20 years ago!

As the Thrusting Rabbit is completely waterproof, clean-up is a breeze. Just use some warm water and gentle soap for a thorough clean. For a quick clean between uses, a body-safe sterile wipe will work just fine.

A word of caution on cleaning: due to the creases in the thrusting mechanism, germs and bacteria can easily get trapped in there. Take extra care around these folds to make sure you get all bodily fluids and lube out.

The insertable part of this toy is condom-compatible. As ever, water-based lube is recommended.

So did the Thrusting Rabbit make me happy?

Yes! If, like me, you enjoy dual stimulation but don’t want internal vibrations, this toy is a great choice for you.

It is on the pricier side, retailing for £79.99 ($119.99 US.) However, it’s cheaper than Fun Factory, probably the most popular thrusting vibes on the market right now, and much cheaper than a fucking machine. So if you want a good quality thrusting toy, this is a really great option.

Thank you to Lovehoney for sending me the Thrusting Happy Rabbit in exchange for an honest review. If you purchase through any of my affiliate links, I make a small commission – however, any affiliate income made this weekend (Saturday 11/Sunday 12 August) will be donated to Abortion Support Network!

[Toy Review] The Humdinger from Lovehoney

I’m working on a post at the moment about the best clitoral toys under £30/$4o. I’ve been reaching out to my contacts at the different toy companies I work with and oh boy, have these guys delivered! You’ll have to wait a little longer for the final post (I’m still deliberating over one or two of the entries!) but today I wanted to tell you about one of the products I’ve tested and am really impressed by.

Let’s ignore the silly name for a minute…

My hand holding the Humdinger vibrator(Why do sex toys so often have silly names anyway!?) The Humdinger by Lovehoney is a clitoral vibrator with a cup-shaped tip. The idea is that this tip fully encompasses the clit and surrounds it with vibrations. If you turn it over, there’s also a small, rigid nodule which can be used straight on the clit if you’re after more pinpoint stimulation. Though it’s a clitoral toy primarily, you could use it internally if you were so inclined – the bump might feel nice against your G-spot.

The Humdinger measures 7.6″ in total length, and about an inch in diameter. It is battery powered (you’ll need 2 AA batteries, not included) and fully waterproof. I do wish, as a rule, that companies would send their toys with batteries – but understand this pushes the price up for them, which would be passed on to the consumer. Pro tip from this sex toy lover: always keep a pack or two of AA and AAA batteries in your toy box!

As always, this toy arrived in a discreet parcel. It comes packaged simply in Lovehoney’s signature white box with a picture of the toy and some info about it on the outside. Don’t expect fancy packaging or anything at this price point, but honestly as an eco-conscious girl I’m all for simple packaging that means less we have to throw away or recycle.

Body-safe doesn’t need to mean expensive!

Also feat. a “Death Before Decaf” coaster because I am nothing if not painfully on brand.

The Humdinger retails for £14.99 at full price ($19.99 in the US) which is an absolute steal. It’s also currently on sale at just £1o, so this is a great time to grab a bargain!

This toy is fully body-safe. The material is smooth coated hard plastic, which is non-toxic and non-porous. It’s super easy to clean – a toy wipe or body-safe medical wipe will do a quick clean-up, and it’s submersible so you can wash it thoroughly with warm water and gentle soap. Your Humdinger should be condom compatible, but watch that the little pointy nodule doesn’t tear your condom!

Water-based or silicone-based lubes are fine with hard plastic toys.

The Humdinger vibrator on my desk.In use: a simple interface and nice rumbly vibrations

The Humdinger operates on a simple twist mechanism in the base. I really like twist controls on toys because it means you can control the intensity quite finely, and easily decrease or increase without having to press loads of buttons. The wavy body is ergonomic and comfortable to hold. It’s not the lightest toy,

While the Humdinger is not the strongest toy I’ve tried (including when measured against other toys at a similar price point,) it sports a reasonable level of power. The vibrations are also decently rumbly, so there is none of that horrible surface-level buzz that plagues so many cheaper toys.

It also has – joy of joys – NO PATTERNS! (I hate patterns 99% of the time.) Just solid, rumbly vibrations.

I really like the shape of the Humdinger’s tip. Having vibrations all the way around and over my clit was delicious and more than made up for the fact that I would have liked a tad more power. (Then again, when wouldn’t I like a tad more power?) The unique shape and the sensation of having my clit surrounded by vibrations really made this one for me.

All in all a good little toy for the price

I’m very happy to recommend this product! It’s cheap, body-safe, mid-range on power, and rumbly. An ideal pick for a beginner or anyone looking for quality clit stimulation on a budget.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Humdinger to test and review for you all! Shopping via my affiliate links sends a small commission my way and helps me keep doing this work. If you enjoy my work, please consider becoming a Patron!

[Toy Review] Mantric Rechargeable Vibrating Penis Masturbator

I’ve discussed before how difficult it is to find toys for people with penises which use truly body-safe materials. There’s a lot of TPE/TPR and other porous materials out there, including the extremely popular and well-rated Tenga and Fleshlight products. This means that they will harbour bacteria, degrade over time, and ultimately not last all that long. So I was really pleased to see that, like the whole Mantric range, this penis masturbator offering from Lovehoney is made entirely of silicone.

The Mantric penis masturbator on a white bed sheet.Let’s take a look…

The Mantric penis masturbator is cylindrical, open at one end and closed at the other. The outside is black and features a subtle geometric pattern. Inside, the silicone is the dark pinkish-red that characterises the Mantric range, and is gently ribbed – presumably, to enhance pleasure. On one side of the internal wall is a small hump. This is where the motor sits and the vibrations are concentrated. The total internal length is only about 3 inches. This toy is very light and sits comfortably even in my very small hand.

The Mantric masturbator is USB rechargeable, with a use time of about 90 minutes for a 100 minute charge. It retails for £49.99 at Lovehoney UK ($64.99 in the US.)

Buttons & Settings

The Mantric masturbator has an extremely simple The Mantric penis masturbator on a light wooden floor.one-button interface. You press the button once to switch one, then again to cycle through the settings, and you hold it down for two seconds to switch off. The simplicity of this type of interface is, as always, undermined by the annoyance of only being able to scroll through the settings on one direction. Up/down buttons on toys, people – please!

There are five settings in total – constant vibration and four different patterns. The other cool feature this toy has is a travel-lock. So you don’t need to worry about it switching on in your bag!

The Mantric penis masturbator from above.Care and Cleaning

I was worried about how difficult it might be to clean this product. Thankfully, it’s fully waterproof and submersible. This means cleaning it is… if not the easiest, at least much easier than I expected. I used warm water, a clean cloth and my index and middle fingers to clean the inside thoroughly, and then left it out to dry thoroughly. For a quick in-between clean, wiping it out with a sterile medical wipe should be fine. Being silicone, you can be assured of a full clean and not worry about it going moldy or holding on to any yucky bacteria.

In Use

I was really excited to use this product. Mr CK very much enjoys vibrations on his penis, so I thought it would be a great toy for him. Unfortunately, it really fell down in practice.

I can’t tell you this without it coming across as an #explanabrag, but it is honest-to-God true – his cock didn’t really fit! The diameter of the inside canal is only about 1.5″. This is far too narrow for anyone who is even slightly above average in the penis department.

We used a metric fuck-tonne of lube, both on his cock and inside the toy, but he had to really force to get even part way inside. An extremely tight squeeze is not, contrary to what ridiculous virginity-fetishists would have you believe, conducive to a fun or sexy time! He described it as uncomfortable-to-painful.

The other thing, and I’m giggling remembering this as I write the review, is that whenever he tried to insert his cock into this toy it made… um, a rude-sounding noise. Yeah, it sounded like a super loud fart noise. A+ for making us fall about laughing, but significantly less points for actual functionality.

This toy might work for people with cocks on the smaller side (which there is absolutely nothing wrong with!) But if you’re even slightly above average, there’s a decent chance your penis simply won’t fit inside it properly.

Our other complaint was that the vibrations are not very strong. Now, it’s possible that Mr CK has been spoiled by my using the Doxy on his cock, but penis shafts have less nerve endings than clitorises (and they’re less concentrated) so many penis-owners find stronger vibrations are better. Even if he’d been able to get his cock in properly, the vibrations are too weak to lead to orgasm.

Overall, a great concept and I absolutely applaud Lovehoney for making a penis toy out of pure silicone. Unfortunately, the functionality just isn’t quite there yet.

What should you buy instead?

I really wanted to recommend this product. There are so few silicone penis masturbators on the market that to negatively review one feels awful. Unfortunately, for most people I cannot recommend this toy. If you’re after a vibrating toy for your penis, try the Hot Octopuss Pulse III, which is extraordinary – or get a wand vibrator and a penis wand attachment. We really like the Hummer attachment (which comes with a wand in this great-value set!) – though we wish it was silicone, as the TPE is porous and will degrade over time. The O-Wand O-Gasm attachment is the only good silicone option I know of.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Mantric masturbator in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are, as ever, entirely my own. I have used affiliate links in this post, and all images are by me and not for use without permission.

[Toy Review] Oh-Moji Emoji Vibrator, Because Why the Fuck Not?

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Sex, as I have long held, is hilarious. It’s also many other things, of course – hot, sweet, loving, occasionally healing and transformative. But often we get so caught up in the notion of Sex As Serious Business that we forget fucking is meant, first and foremost, to be fun.

So, even though I entirely am here for beautiful toys and plain-but-functional toys and hyper realistic toys, I am also occasionally here for silly, funny and plain ridiculous toys. Enter the Oh-Moji.

Just for fun, I’m using emojis instead of title headers for this piece. Because I can.

😍😘😜

My friends at Lovehoney offered me a sneaky peek at their new toy line ahead of its release, and how could I say no to that? The new line, it turns out, consists of three Emoji-themed mini wand vibrators: heart eyes (the one I have,) blowing a kiss, and tongue-out.

These vibes are silly and cute, and clearly marketed towards younger consumers. I have mixed feelings about this; it does seem to be playing into stereotypes about young people and students. However, if a vibrator with an amusing, irreverent design is what it takes to get a young person to buy their first toy and start exploring their sexuality, I’m good with that.

Each Oh-Moji is a petite 5″ long, with a white-and-yellow handle decorated with the Lovehoney heart logo, and a yellow wand head with one flat side, where the emoji face is printed. They are USB rechargeable, and you get about an hour of continuous use from a two-hour charge. I do wish rechargeable toy batteries would last longer, in general!

The Oh-Moji has 11 settings; 3 constant speeds and 8 patterns. It is operated via a simple one-button interface, which you press to change through the settings. This does mean that if you find one you like and skip past it, you have to go allllll the way back through again.

💦🍆🛀

The Oh-Moji is NOT waterproof, so please don’t let it get wet or try to use it in the bath! Luckily, the silicone head is removable which makes for easy clean-up after use. You can, of course, also do a quick clean with a toy wipe or medical wipe (I buy mine in bulk from a medical supplies site). The Oh-Moji is a little small to use with a condom, though you could if you really needed to – and a dam would work just as well to avoid unwanted fluid exchange if you’re sharing the toy without sterilising it first. As ever with silicone toys, please use a good quality water-based lube.

🙂😀😌

There are several things I like about these product. The design makes me giggle, and I like how small and innocuous they are.

I also, obviously, love that they’re body-safe. So many cheap vibrators and other toys are made of crappy, unsafe jelly/rubber/PVC materials which can be porous or even toxic. No such worries with this one, as the head is pure silicone. People who cannot afford to buy expensive, high-end toys also deserve body safe products and I’m really glad that Lovehoney are trying to cater for a particular corner of the likely-to-be-low-income demographic.

😒😐🙁

So what didn’t work for me with the Oh-Moji?

Primarily, the level of power. I am a self-confessed power queen and a lot of weaker vibrators just aren’t enough for me. Unfortunately, this one fell into that category. I persevered, but it simply wasn’t strong enough to get me off. The vibrations were very buzzy, too, whereas I much prefer rumbly.

I also did not like how flexible the neck is. I like to be able to press a vibe into my vulva when I’m using it, and the bendy neck just makes it impossible to do this without pushing it away.

👍/👎?

Possibly not a bad choice for a first vibrator, especially if you’re looking for something on the gentler side. It’s body-safe and not too expensive (£29.99 at full price, currently on sale for £19.99). However, I do not recommend this product to anyone who likes rumblier vibrations or a higher level of power. Overall, I like them much less than I liked Positive Vibes, Lovehoney’s last cheap, cute-design, body-safe offering.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Oh-Moji in exchange for an honest review. If you purchase from them using my affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission which helps me keep doing this work. Photos are by me and not to be used without permission. 

Is This What They Meant by “Gay Sex Toys?” A Rainbow Round-Up for Pride

It makes me cringe when I see toys advertised as “gay sex toys” or “lesbian sex toys”. Toys do not have a sexual orientation or a gender! However, today I want to talk about a different type of queer toys – that is, those adorned in rainbows and pride flags and ridiculously bright colours!

An abstract of rainbow coloured smoke.Look, I acknowledge the problems with the way Pride celebrations have gone in recent years. I am, for the most part, firmly in the “Pride is a protest” camp. However, as a queer person living in a queerphobic world, I feel that it is my right to take joy and fun where I can get it – and one of the places I get it is through outrageous, brightly coloured, flagrantly queer-coded sex toys.

Therefore, for your reading and shopping pleasure, here is a round-up of some of my favourite “gay sex toys” currently on the market.

My left hand - 3 nails have purple sparkly polish and the ring finger has a blue sky and Rainbow design like on the Positive Vibes toy.Good (Rainbow) Vibes

I recently reviewed Lovehoney’s Positive Vibes line, one of which features a super cute rainbows-against-a-blue-sky design. There was even a mega-fun launch event during which I got my nails (pictured) done to match! These affordable as fuck vibrators are surprisingly strong and rumbly for the price point, especially considering they’re battery-operated.

Other good, affordable options for a fun and colourful vibrator are Rocks Off’s kaleidoscopic rainbow bullet, and this little cutie from Tokidoki.

 

Fuck the Rainbow

A rainbow dildo standing next to a glass full of coloured pencils.Rainbow insertables come in all different shapes, sizes and price-points, so there’s bound to be something to suit you whatever you’re looking for.

A good, affordable starter dildo is the Avant Pride P1 (pictured) which I reviewed yesterday. This also comes in trans pride and lesbian pride colourways, which is awesome. There’s also the always-popular Colour Pleasures Pride Edition, BS’s various rainbow dildos, and Lovehoney have a lovely wavy six-inch rainbow dildo.

Size queens of any gender should check out the Rivetor from Split Peaches, and serious texture fans will adore the Screw You from the same company.

Fancy yourself as part unicorn? You can now have sex with a rainbow unicorn horn.

Butt-ing In…

Anal toys are perhaps the most frequently coded as “gay sex toys”, which is clearly nonsense. Anyone can enjoy anal pleasure if they want to – it’s not an activity reserved for gay men! (And, straight dudes, listen up: liking having your ass played with means literally fuck all about your sexuality or masculinity).

However, despite this silly stereotype, there are a great number of brightly coloured anal toys that any of us can enjoy. BS have the rainbow BoBo, or the pink or blue Bingo which has a rainbow base. Avant’s Pride range has butt plugs in genderqueer, genderfluid and leather pride colours. Seriously! And if you’re into a bit of sparkle, Luxe have this lovely set of three plugs with colourful crystal bases.

A black butt plug with a fluffy rainbow tail.Hot on Your Tail

Want to be a queer-as-fuck pony, kitten, puppy or unicorn? You’re in luck, because this gorgeous BRIGHT fluffy tail (pictured) exists! And for a seriously luxurious treat, Crystal Delights do a beautiful multicoloured tail on a glass butt plug.

Not so much bi-furious as bi-annoyed-but-resigned

Are you surprised it was hard as fuck to find ANYTHING with the bi pride flag colours on it? No, me neither. It’s so fucking predictable I barely have the energy or fucks to be ragey about it. That’s why I’m bidding on the bi pride dildo from Godemiche in their pride month auction (well, that and the fact that it’s for a brilliant cause!)

Thankfully, the Official Bisexual Colour is purple (because, apparently, gayness is pink and straightness is blue and we’re a mix? I don’t fucking know, but it’s a good colour). And there are a LOT of purple sex toys out there. That’s why I hereby declare that all purple sex toys will now henceforth be coded as Bisexual Sex Toys.

Companies: rainbows are great, but get it together and make bi themed toys, please! In the meantime, it’s lucky the love of my life comes in purple really, isn’t it?

Happy Pride!

Affiliate links appear in this post. Using them sends me a small commission and helps me keep doing this work . Header image is from Pixabay. Other images are either my work or property of the retailers and used with permission. Don’t steal my pics, thanks. 

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Deluxe Silicone G-Spot Wand Attachment

This is the latest in a series of wand attachment mini reviews. Check the wand attachments tag for the whole set!

Facts ‘n’ Figures

The G Spot silicone wand attachment on top of the Lovehoney classic wand.
Feat. Lovehoney Classic Wand

The Deluxe Silicone G-Spot Wand Attachment is a silicone cap that fits over your wand vibrator with a dildo-type appendage to allow for penetration and stimulation of the G-spot. It also sports a series of gentle nubs on the base designed to stimulate the clitoris once the shaft is inserted.

The insertable length is 5 inches and the circumference just 3.5″, making this a slimline insertable toy. It’s also completely smooth, so it’s super comfortable to insert. The colour is a lovely bright purple.

This attachment will fit the majority of wand vibrators. I used it with my Lovehoney Classic Wand, but it will also fit the Magic Wand Original, Doxy Original or Die Cast, and most standard-sized wands. The circumference of the base is 7 inches, with a tiny bit of stretch.

The Deluxe G-Spot Wand Attachment retails for £19.99 from Lovehoney.

Care, Cleaning and Safety

The Lovehoney G spot purple silicone wand attachmentThis attachment is made entirely of silicone, which is phthalate-free, non-toxic and non-porous, making it completely body-safe.

If your wand happens to have a porous head (some unfortunately still do, including the famed Magic Wand Original), using a silicone attachment is a great way to make it fully body-safe. Likewise, if you’re sharing your wand between partners and you’re not fluid-bonded, using attachments and swapping them out between users is an easy way to protect yourselves from unwanted fluids and potential STI transmission.

You can clean this attachment with a toy wipe or sterile medical wipe (I buy mine in bulk from medical suppliers,) and throw it in a pot of boiling water/a 10% bleach solution/the dishwasher to sterilise thoroughly.

Remember: this attachment is waterproof, but your wand probably isn’t! And as ever, water-based lube is recommended.

My Experience

I just… ugh, I really really don’t like strong vibrations inside my vagina or on my G-spot!  It’s much more uncomfortable and painful than pleasurable for me. So I cannot honestly say I enjoyed using this attachment.

However, this doesn’t mean it’s a bad product! It’s body-safe and well designed, and will work well for plenty of folks. It just wasn’t for me due to my body’s preferences. Despite this, I’m going to keep it in my collection as I’m certain it will work really well for the vulva-owners I play with who do enjoy intense vibrations on their G-spots.

Do I recommend it?

Yes, if… you like (or are wanting to experiment with) strong internal vibrations. If you like strong dual stimulation it may also work really well for you.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Deluxe G Spot Attachment and a collection of other wand attachments for review. Check out the wand attachments tag for all reviews in this series. If you buy using my affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission. All views are, and will always be, my own. Pictures are property of Lovehoney and used with permission.

[Toy Review] Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip Wand Attachment

This is the second in a serious of wand attachment reviews. I’m always getting asked about the best attachments for wand vibrators, so I thought it’s past time I tried some out and let y’all know what I thought. Because putting strange things on my genitals for science is what I do.

Up today: the Nuzzle Tip wand attachment by Wand Essentials.

The Important Stuff

The Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip attachment on the Lovehoney Classic Wand, lying on a white sheet.
Also feat. Lovehoney Classic Wand

The Nuzzle Tip is manufactured by US-based company Wand Essentials, who make wands of various kinds as well as dozens of different attachments. However, the Nuzzle Tip does not need to be used with a Wand Essentials wand – which is good, because I don’t own one! This attachment fits perfectly over the Magic Wand Original, Doxy Original or Die Cast, Lovehoney Classic, Deluxe and Desire wands, and will fit many others. The circumference is 7 inches and the silicone is just slightly stretchy. When in doubt, measure the head of your wand before buying.

The Nuzzle Tip features a tongue-like appendage, covered on the underside in little nodules. The advertising copy says it’s good for internal or external stimulation, but I really can’t see it being long enough to do much internally (there’s no way you’re reaching a G-spot with this thing!) It’s really a clitoral stimulation attachment.

I wish it wasn’t pink or at least came in other colour options, but you can’t have everything.

A Note on Safer Sex, Care and Cleaning…

The Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip on top of a pile of books, mainly about sex.
Also feat. part of my extensive book collection.

This attachment is made entirely of silicone, which is phthalate-free and non-porous. This means I am happy to recommend this attachment as 100% body-safe.

If your wand happens to have a porous head (some unfortunately still do, including the famed Magic Wand Original), using a silicone attachment is a great way to make it fully body-safe. Likewise, if you’re sharing your wand between partners and you’re not fluid-bonded, using attachments and swapping them out between users is an easy way to protect yourselves from unwanted fluids and potential STI transmission.

You can clean this attachment with a toy wipe or sterile medical wipe (I buy mine in bulk from medical suppliers,) and throw it in a pot of boiling water/a 10% bleach solution/the dishwasher to sterilise thoroughly.

Remember: this attachment is waterproof, but your wand probably isn’t!

So How Does It Feel?

The Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip lying on a fuck.com notebook.
Also feat. Notebook from Fuck Dot Com.

When you switch on your wand, the effect is that the tongue on the Nuzzle Tip sort of flicks up and down very fast with the vibrations. This results in very intense and fairly pinpoint clitoral stimulation. The silicone dampens the strength of the wand a little bit, but really not very much.

I actually find I can come more quickly with this attachment with the wand on a lower setting than I can with the wand on full power but without an attachment.

It feels divine, folks. The flicking motion is intense and delicious. I can come in 2-3 minutes easily with this attachment.

One word of caution: without enough lubrication, this kind of stimulation can feel so intense it’s painful, so I always recommend a generous blob of water-based lube.

I’m not ashamed to say I have used this attachment for every single purely-for-fun, not-testing-anything-for-review wank since I received it. I never thought anything could make me love wands even more, but this baby has done it.

So Do I Recommend It?

Yes! I cannot tell you enough how much I love this attachment. If you want intense clitoral stimulation or crave the power of a wand with more pinpoint precision, the Nuzzle Tip is for you.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this and other wand attachments for review. Check out the wand attachments tag for all reviews in this series. If you buy using my affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission. All views are, and will always be, my own. Pictures are by me and not for use without express permission.

[Toy Review] The Zumio

As a lover of intense clitoral stimulation, I’ve wanted a Zumio ever since I first learned about them. But they’ve always been in the category of toys I would never buy at full price –  they’re expensive and I had no idea if they would actually work for me.

The Zumio, for those who don’t know, is a new type of clitoral stimulator. It looks a bit like a purple electric toothbrush, and has a very thin, plastic rod tip – known as a SpiroTIP – which “whirls around in tiny circles”. It’s designed to mimic the movement of a finger circling the clit, only… more, faster and harder. Observe:

The Zumio, a purple sex toy with a small plastic tip. Shaped a bit like a toothbrush.Anyone who has been reading my work for any length of time knows that I am frequently annoyed by sex toy marketing claims. Zumio created some waves in the blogosphere by claiming that this toy will make a person with a clitoris come in 60 seconds or less. Dangerous Lilly, blogger and reviewer extraordinaire, has covered in detail why this is problematic, so I don’t feel a need to go into it in depth. However, I will admit to really hoping this toy would finally be the answer to getting me off clitorally very quickly… and being disappointed/wondering if I’m “broken” when it inevitably didn’t.

But let’s back up a minute and take a closer look…

The Zumio is made of ABS plastic and silicone. The bit that makes direct contact with the body is plastic. Therefore it’s body safe, non-porous and non-toxic. It also happens to be waterproof, if wanking in the bath or shower is your thing. It’s charged via USB and comes with a little charging stand that makes it remind me even more of a toothbrush.

The user interface is 3 simple buttons – an on/off switch, one to turn the speed up, and one to turn the speed down. There are 8 speed settings in total, and no “patterns” or any of that silliness. (I hate patterns).

The Zumio retails for £134.99. It’s an expensive product, so I recommend buying from a retailer with a solid returns policy in case it doesn’t work for you. (Lovehoney are great in this regard).

My Experience…

The Zumio is about as pinpoint as pinpoint stimulation can get. The tip is also hard. For that reason, I was nervous – direct contact to my clit is often too intense and painful for me. Even so, I dove in and started off on the lowest setting. I quickly discovered that my suspicions were correct. Even on the lowest setting, the hard plastic tip against my clit was intense to the point of painful.

No matter – that problem was solved by putting my knickers back on and using the toy through my panties. I don’t do this with any other toy (except very occasionally the Doxy 3) because I need a lot of stimulation to come. Through the underwear, I found this toy much more enjoyable and that was how I eventually got off with it. If you try it and it’s too intense, try with a layer of clothing between the tip and your clit.

Contrary to what is apparently the more common experience, Zumio is a slow-build toy for me. If I’ve got an hour or more to spend slowly teasing myself, ramping up through the speeds one at a time, and toeing the line between “so intense it’s blissful” and “so intense it’s painful,” the orgasm at the end of it is delicious. But pretty much the only thing that can get me off quickly is wands, so I might not be the person to trust on “quickness of orgasm” factors. All bodies are so different.

Care and Clean-Up

The Zumio comes with a little drawstring storage bag, big enough to fit the toy, docking stand and charging cable, which I appreciated. All sex toys should come with storage bags and so few do. Given how thin the tip is, I’m a bit nervous about it getting broken in storage. Be careful with how you store this toy – you probably don’t want to throw other things on top of it.

Clean-up is a pinch. The Zumio is waterproof, so you can wash it thoroughly with warm soapy water. You can also wipe the tip clean with a body-safe sterile wipe (I get mine in bulk from medical suppliers – much cheaper than toy cleaner).

You can’t use a condom with it, though you could use a barrier like a dam. But the easiest thing to do if you want to share it between partners is just to thoroughly clean the tip between users.

Do I recommend it?

Honestly, I personally loved it less than I was hoping I would. That doesn’t mean I don’t recommend it – I just recommend it to a very specific subset of people.

If you like extremely pinpoint clitoral stimulation, you’ll probably love it. But if you’re into broader stimulation it’s probably not for you. If you have a clit that likes very intense, very direct stimulation, Zumio’s got you covered.

Zumio is a genuinely innovative toy and different to anything else on the market. For that, it is certainly to be commended. So many toy companies claim to be innovative, and so few actually are.

You can buy your Zumio from Lovehoney or SheVibe.

Thanks to the good folks of Zumio for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. As always, all opinions are entirely my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.