[Toy Review] Blush Novelties Exposed Nocturnal Lipstick Bullet Vibrator

It feels a bit sacrilegious to say this, but I think I’ve found a bullet vibrator I like more than the hallowed We-Vibe Tango. And it’s an unassuming little thing from Blush Novelties that retails at the shockingly reasonable price of $32 (about £24 for my Brit readers). Meet the Exposed Nocturnal “lipstick bullet,” sent to me by Peepshow Toys, excellent purveyors of body-safe toys for all budgets.

Details and Dimensions

The Exposed Nocturnal lipstick buillet vibratorThe Exposed Nocturnal bullet is 4″ long in total and has a dimension of 0.9″. It’s shaped, as the advertising copy implies, like a lipstick – a cylindrical body leading to a gently tapered tip with one flat edge. I really like this shape for clitoral vibrators, because it gives you so many options. You can use the tip, the flat edge or the whole shaft, depending on how pinpoint you like your vibrations.

The Exposed Nocturnal is waterproof, submersible, and USB-rechargeable. It comes in four colour-ways, three of which can be described as variations on “pink,” and the fourth (called “Sugar Plum”) is purple. The colours are sort of shimmery in quality, which is really attractive.

Functionality & Interface

The Exposed Nocturnal lipstick bullet vibrator.The Exposed Nocturnal bullet has a simple two-button user interface built into the base (which is also where the magnetic charging points are). You hold down the + button to switch on, use the + and – buttons to navigate the various settings, and hold down the – button to switch off.

This is one of the areas where this toy really comes out ahead of the Tango, as well as most of the lower priced toys on the market – you can cycle either way through the settings! Gone up a notch and decided it’s too intense? No worries, you can skip straight back down again without cycling all the way through.

My only real complaint, and it’s a minor one, is that the buttons and markings on them are so small that it can be hard to see which is which in low light. I would also have liked a travel lock, but you can’t have everything.

Body-Safe and Easy to Clean

The Exposed Nocturnal bullet is made of body-safe ABS plastic, which is non-porous and non-toxic. I really enjoy hard plastic as a toy material, because it’s so firm that it doesn’t dampen down the strength of the vibrations at all.

This toy is also a breeze to clean. Use a body-safe medical wipe, or some gentle soap and warm water – it’s fully submersible! Oil-, silicone- or water-based lubes are all fine with ABS plastic toys.

For extra protection if you’re sharing your toys, pop a condom over it or clean it thoroughly between users.

In Use: Power for Days!

Power is always the crunch point for me, when it comes to whether I like a toy or not. Basically, I want power and lots of it! And ohhhh boy, did the Exposed Nocturnal bullet deliver in this area.

It has 10 settings: five constant speeds and five patterns. Mr CK was stunned when I switched this toy on to show him its power, then said “and that’s the LOWEST setting!” It’s got less pure rumble than the Tango, but no less power. (If the Tango is a 9 on a 1-10 scale of rumbliness, this toy is about a 7.5). Starting out at a low rumble and building up to what I can only describe as a tiny power tool, make no mistake: this baby is extremely powerful. I can come reliably, in only a few minutes, with this toy on the lowest setting – which is practically unheard of for me.

I should mention that it’s a little on the louder side. The volume isn’t unreasonable for the level of power, but it’s not a good choice if you need near-silent. (It does, however, pass the “can Mr CK hear Amy wanking from downstairs when she’s in the bedroom with the door closed?” test. He could not).

In conclusion: the best bullet I’ve ever tried.

And I do not say this lightly! This toy is in-fucking-credible for the price. If you need power but you’re on a limited budget, or if you’re looking for a discreet little vibe to take on your travels with you, look no further.

Let me say it again: This. Toy. Is. $32. Next time anyone tells you that you can’t get a body-safe product without shelling out hundreds, point them to this post.

Thanks to Peepshow for sending me the Blush Novelties Exposed Nocturnal lipstick bullet to review. It will feature next month in a piece on the best body-safe vibrators under $40. Links in this post are affiliate links and if you use them, I will make a small commission. As ever, all opinions my own, and please don’t steal my photos!

[Toy Review] Mantric Rechargeable Vibrating Penis Masturbator

I’ve discussed before how difficult it is to find toys for people with penises which use truly body-safe materials. There’s a lot of TPE/TPR and other porous materials out there, including the extremely popular and well-rated Tenga and Fleshlight products. This means that they will harbour bacteria, degrade over time, and ultimately not last all that long. So I was really pleased to see that, like the whole Mantric range, this penis masturbator offering from Lovehoney is made entirely of silicone.

The Mantric penis masturbator on a white bed sheet.Let’s take a look…

The Mantric penis masturbator is cylindrical, open at one end and closed at the other. The outside is black and features a subtle geometric pattern. Inside, the silicone is the dark pinkish-red that characterises the Mantric range, and is gently ribbed – presumably, to enhance pleasure. On one side of the internal wall is a small hump. This is where the motor sits and the vibrations are concentrated. The total internal length is only about 3 inches. This toy is very light and sits comfortably even in my very small hand.

The Mantric masturbator is USB rechargeable, with a use time of about 90 minutes for a 100 minute charge. It retails for £49.99 at Lovehoney UK ($64.99 in the US.)

Buttons & Settings

The Mantric masturbator has an extremely simple The Mantric penis masturbator on a light wooden floor.one-button interface. You press the button once to switch one, then again to cycle through the settings, and you hold it down for two seconds to switch off. The simplicity of this type of interface is, as always, undermined by the annoyance of only being able to scroll through the settings on one direction. Up/down buttons on toys, people – please!

There are five settings in total – constant vibration and four different patterns. The other cool feature this toy has is a travel-lock. So you don’t need to worry about it switching on in your bag!

The Mantric penis masturbator from above.Care and Cleaning

I was worried about how difficult it might be to clean this product. Thankfully, it’s fully waterproof and submersible. This means cleaning it is… if not the easiest, at least much easier than I expected. I used warm water, a clean cloth and my index and middle fingers to clean the inside thoroughly, and then left it out to dry thoroughly. For a quick in-between clean, wiping it out with a sterile medical wipe should be fine. Being silicone, you can be assured of a full clean and not worry about it going moldy or holding on to any yucky bacteria.

In Use

I was really excited to use this product. Mr CK very much enjoys vibrations on his penis, so I thought it would be a great toy for him. Unfortunately, it really fell down in practice.

I can’t tell you this without it coming across as an #explanabrag, but it is honest-to-God true – his cock didn’t really fit! The diameter of the inside canal is only about 1.5″. This is far too narrow for anyone who is even slightly above average in the penis department.

We used a metric fuck-tonne of lube, both on his cock and inside the toy, but he had to really force to get even part way inside. An extremely tight squeeze is not, contrary to what ridiculous virginity-fetishists would have you believe, conducive to a fun or sexy time! He described it as uncomfortable-to-painful.

The other thing, and I’m giggling remembering this as I write the review, is that whenever he tried to insert his cock into this toy it made… um, a rude-sounding noise. Yeah, it sounded like a super loud fart noise. A+ for making us fall about laughing, but significantly less points for actual functionality.

This toy might work for people with cocks on the smaller side (which there is absolutely nothing wrong with!) But if you’re even slightly above average, there’s a decent chance your penis simply won’t fit inside it properly.

Our other complaint was that the vibrations are not very strong. Now, it’s possible that Mr CK has been spoiled by my using the Doxy on his cock, but penis shafts have less nerve endings than clitorises (and they’re less concentrated) so many penis-owners find stronger vibrations are better. Even if he’d been able to get his cock in properly, the vibrations are too weak to lead to orgasm.

Overall, a great concept and I absolutely applaud Lovehoney for making a penis toy out of pure silicone. Unfortunately, the functionality just isn’t quite there yet.

What should you buy instead?

I really wanted to recommend this product. There are so few silicone penis masturbators on the market that to negatively review one feels awful. Unfortunately, for most people I cannot recommend this toy. If you’re after a vibrating toy for your penis, try the Hot Octopuss Pulse III, which is extraordinary – or get a wand vibrator and a penis wand attachment. We really like the Hummer attachment (which comes with a wand in this great-value set!) – though we wish it was silicone, as the TPE is porous and will degrade over time. The O-Wand O-Gasm attachment is the only good silicone option I know of.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Mantric masturbator in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are, as ever, entirely my own. I have used affiliate links in this post, and all images are by me and not for use without permission.

[Toy Review] Avant Pride P4 Power Play Silicone Butt Plug

Pride month may now be over, but Blush’s Avant Pride line lives on! Besides, it’s never a bad time of year to plaster your favourite pride flag all over everything, including your sex toys. As well as the Power Play plug, they also make the same plug style in genderqueer and genderfluid pride colours, as well as rainbow, trans pride and lesbian pride dildos.

The Power Play butt plug in white blue black and red, lying on an open diaryThe leather pride flag, designed in 1989, was originally primarily used by the gay leather community. In recent years, however, it has come to represent leather culture – and general BDSM community – more widely. The flag features horizontal lines of black, blue and white, and a small red heart in the upper left. The Avant “Power Play” plug‘s colour scheme is based upon this flag. The effect is striking, with a lovely masculine-of-centre aesthetic that is quite different from anything else in my collection.

Specs ‘n’ Stats…

The Power Play plug is quite large in size. With 4.75 inches in total length (4.25″ insertable) and a 1.5″ diameter at the widest point, it’s not a plug for total beginners to anal play. If you’re brand new, I suggest looking at something like the Temptasia silicone crystal plug in a small or the Tantus Little Flirt to start you off. (Look out for my upcoming post on the best toys for anal play novices, too!)

My hand with the Power Play black white blue and red butt plug

Instead of the more traditional round base, the Power Play plug has a wide, t-bar shaped base. It also has a short and wide neck, which is only a little narrower than the biggest part of the plug and wider than the top.

The Power Play plug retails for $30 (about £23). I stand by my previous statement that I can’t believe the value of this whole range. Never believe anyone who tells you that you can’t have safe and quality toys on a budget!

The body-safe goodness you’ve come to expect

You know that if Peepshow are stocking it, it’s going to be a quality and body-safe product! The Power Play plug is silicone, which is non-porous. (Whyyyyyy do companies make any toys, but especially anal toys for fuck’s sake, out of porous materials)!? It’s also non-toxic. As it has no motor, the best way to clean your plug is to toss it in a pan of boiling water for ten minutes or so.

Many people don’t think of this, but butt plugs are actually an ideal shape to be condom-compatible. You don’t need to use a barrier if you’re not sharing the toy or have sterilised it between uses, but if you’re sharing it with a partner you’re going to want to cover it up. Smaller size condoms are best for most butt plugs. As ever, I only recommend water-based lube with silicone toys, and I’m going to take this opportunity to give a little plug to my favourite anal lube of all time – Sliquid Sassy.

In Use

This toy is on the challenging side for me. I’ve taken toys this size and even a little bigger in the past (as well as having done anal sex with an above-average bio cock,) but it takes some working up to take something this size in my ass.

I used it after warming myself up with a clitoral orgasm (thanks to the trusty love of my life for that!) With plenty of lube, it went in reasonably comfortably. The thing I love the most about this toy is the feel of the material. The silicone is really soft, squishy and malleable, which feels wonderful and is super comfortable in use. I don’t think I’ve ever used a body-safe plug as squishy as this one. If super rigid toys turn you off, the Power Play plug could be a really good choice for you.

I really like the shape of the base. If you spin it the right way around so that the t-bar base sits parallel with your butt crack, it’s super comfortable. One of the most challenging things about plug wear, for me, is the chafing of the edges of a round base against my butt cheeks. No such problem with this one.

Unfortunately, there was one big issue with this plug that I couldn’t seem to solve: it won’t stay in! Whatever position I was in, even when it was inside as far as it could possibly go, the moment I removed my hand it just slipped out. I am inclined to attribute this to the shape of the neck, which is too short and too wide to clench around sufficiently to keep the plug in. The beauty of a more traditionally shaped butt plug neck is that your ass takes in the toy and then effectively closes around the plug’s neck, keeping it inside.

Do I recommend it?

Depends what you’re using it for. If you’re looking for a plug for keeping in, unfortunately I cannot recommend this one. I suggest you look for something with a longer and more pronounced neck for this purpose.

However, if you’re looking for a plug to thrust with, or to use as part of a play session where you won’t need to leave it in (building up to a penis or larger dildo, perhaps) then I can heartily recommend this one for its super soft squishy silicone, excellent price, and cute design.

Thank you to Peepshow for sending me the Avant Pride P4 Power Play Plug to review. If you purchase through my affiliate links, I make a small commission. As ever, I promise to only recommend products I stand behind. All views are and will always be my own. Pictures are by me – do not reproduce them without permission.

Why I Read Erotica (and You Should Too!)

Outside of very specific environments, it’s not “cool” to admit you read and enjoy erotica. E.L James might now be a household name, but people still occasionally try to convince me that they read Fifty Shades of Grey for the gripping plot.

A woman reading a book pictured from shoulders to hips. For a post about eroticaI think erotica gets a bad rap for several reasons. Firstly, it’s written and read by women more than men. Unfortunately, work by/about/aimed towards women still tends to be regarded as frivolous. (See: anything with a female protagonist risks being labelled “chick lit”). Similarly, content connected to sex is also still treated as something shameful, dirty, secretive, or something to be embarrassed about.

I also think this is a damn shame. A lot of erotica is absolutely wonderful. Masturbation is important, sex is important, arousal is important! Despite myths to the contrary, writing good smut is hard work and requires a lot of skill.

Read on to find out why I think sexy fiction is the most underrated genre and why we can all use it in our lives.

A safe way to explore your fantasies and limits

Reading about something is generally infinitely safer than doing it. Let’s say you have a kink or interest you can’t explore in reality for some reason, or aren’t ready to explore in reality yet. Reading about it can be a great way to scratch that itch. You can’t get hurt by reading about something, no-one else’s consent is required, it’s not cheating. (Dear God, if your partner thinks erotica – or porn, or masturbation – is cheating, break up with them like three years ago).

Reading about something and exploring if it turns you on in a masturbation setting is lower pressure than exploring with another person, especially if you’re not sure if it will work for you or not.

And in case you’re wondering: yes, it’s fine to get turned on by something in fiction that you wouldn’t want to act out in real life!

Introduces you to new kinks, roles, scenes and ideas

I was reading erotic fiction with dominance and submission themes long before I was practicing BDSM in real life. Erotica helped me to discover the types of scenarios that interested me, the names and words that turn me on… and also, the things that completely leave me cold. Reading woman-on-woman scenes was actually a huge part of coming to accept my own bisexuality.

Erotica can introduce you to kinks you never knew existed (ask me how I learned that orgasm control is a thing), make you feel less alone (ask me how I discovered that I wasn’t the only freak in the world who liked to pretend to be a naughty schoolgirl and get spanked), or even help you open up lines of communication about certain kinks with your partner (ask me how I let Mr CK know I have a medical examination fetish).

If you’re not sure what you’re into? Pick up a sexy compilation collection to give you lots of ground to explore.

It can make it quicker, easier or more enjoyable to achieve orgasm

The best way for me to get going pre-wank is to read some really good smut. It works better than visual porn and, usually, better than my imagination. Plus, taking the few minutes to find a filthy story that works for me is a good way to get into a sexy headspace. If I want a long, luxurious session, taking my time to immerse myself in an erotic book is glorious. If I’m more looking for a hot quickie with myself, then a favourite story and my Doxy will get me done in ten minutes or less.

It’s great to share with a partner

As I already mentioned, sharing the erotica you enjoy can be a great way to share what turns you on with your partner. Perhaps you can’t say out loud “I want you to bend me over and spank me while you call me a dirty little slut“. But you can point them to a story with these themes that really did it for you.

Reading erotica together, or aloud to each other, is also a mega sexy thing to do. A really hot D/s scene we did a while ago involved Mr CK reading out some erotica that I’d chosen, and instructing me on when I was and wasn’t allowed to touch myself (and, of course, come).

And sometimes, it has damn good plots!

I don’t, primarily, read smut for the story. But just occasionally an erotic novel will have a plot so good that the sexy bits are almost just a very enjoyable bonus. Cooper S Beckett’s A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching the Swingularity (the latter reviewed here) are two great examples.

Is erotica for me?

Yes! Regardless of your gender, orientation or particular kinks, there’s bound to be something in the wide world of erotic fiction that appeals to you. And if no-one has written the story you want to read? Well… why not give it a go?

So where can I find good smut?

For some of my personal top picks, check out the books linked in this post.

You can also visit Literotica, an amazing free resource where thousands of amateur writers have uploaded their stories for your masturbatory pleasure. There’s a lot of crap, of course, but some real gems in there too. You can search by category, keyword or tag.

You can also find some great quick reads on Amazon Kindle. These typically cost $1 to $5 each – and you can read loads of stuff for free with a subscription to Kindle Unlimited.

Finally, of course, read your favourite sex bloggers! My “erotica” and “Masturbation Monday” tags contain all my freely available work, and you can get a new story every single Tuesday by signing up as a Patron at any level. My friend Kayla runs Masturbation Monday, which is a treasure trove of filthy delights every week. Check out Exhibit A, The Other Livvy, Tits & Test Tubes, Hannah Lockhardt and Confess Hannah for great filth from my smutty friends.

Basically: smut is great. Go read some smut.

Heads up: there are a few affiliate links in this post! All opinions are, as ever, entirely my own. Image sourced via Pixabay.

[Toy Review] Luxe Madonna Straight Seven Vibrator

A "support me on Patreon" buttonDo you enjoy my toy reviews? Then please consider becoming a Patron! Supporters get bonus content every single week and will receive the first chapter of my new erotic novella by email on signing up.

Peepshow Toys, one of my newest affiliates, already have a track record of sending me great products to review. Did you know that EVERYTHING they stock is body-safe, too? This means not only that the toys are free from phthalates and other toxic components, but also that everything is non-porous and the lubes they stock don’t contain nasty ingredients. Basically, you can buy with confidence from Peepshow!

Also feat. the most “me” notebook ever to exist.

Let’s meet Madonna…

The Luxe Collection Madonna, by NS Novelties, came in my latest shipment. It’s a straight insertable vibrator of 6.9″ in total length (about 6.5″ insertable). It’s round at the base and then flares into a slightly wider, gently ridged hexagonal shaft, ending in a smooth pointed tip. The Madonna is rechargeable via USB connection to a magnetic charging port on the base. It is fully waterproof, and comes with a storage pouch. I really appreciate when companies include storage bags with their toys and wish more would do so.

This toy is available in two colours, pink and purple. I’m not a fan of pink toys – there are too many of them, and to be they play too much into stereotypical narratives about femininity and “what women want”. I’m much fonder of purple, which is my favourite colour and also The Official Colour of Bisexuality.

The Madonna retails for $59.95, which puts it squarely into the bracket of a mid-priced toy. It’s well priced for the quality. And don’t forget you can get an extra 10% off this or any purchase at Peepshow by using my affiliate code “COFFEE” at checkout.

Body-safe and condom-compatible…

The Madonna is covered in smooth silicone, which is soft to the touch as well as non-porous and body-safe. Cleaning this toy is a breeze as it’s waterproof – just use warm water and gentle soap, and/or a body-safe sterile wipe. As the toy is seamless and smooth, there is nowhere for bacteria or nasties to hide.

The shape of this toy makes it condom-compatible, too, so if you’re sharing it without sterilising it first you can just pop a barrier over it for safety. As ever, I recommend a good quality water-based lube.

The Madonna does not have a flared base, and is therefore NOT anal-safe. Please do not ever put something inside your ass that doesn’t have a flared base or long handle, as it could get lost. At best, this is embarrassing and painful, and at worst it’s a serious emergency. Please just don’t take the risk. There are so many fabulous anal-specific toys to use.

In use…

As you’ll probably know by now, my G-spot does NOT like vibrations. I have stopped even testing vibrating toys against my inside bits, because there is simply no point – they won’t work for me and I cannot report on their merits with any objectivity. I did try inserting this toy with it switched off, but the texture and ridges of the shaft did not work for me. You’ll want to bear this in mind if you were considering this toy for internal use. Some people love ridges, bumps and textures, but for others they can be seriously uncomfortable.

However, where the Madonna really came into its own for me was – you guessed it – as a clitoral vibrator. As soon as I turned the Madonna on, I was surprised by the strength of the vibrations. Even in my hand, they felt extremely strong. It boasts three constant speeds and four patterns, and each one offers powerful and rumbly vibrations. This toy, paired with some of my favourite smut, quickly brought me to a deep and satisfying climax. I was even able to get some pleasure from the patterns, which are often a complete waste of time for me! I also didn’t get any of the horrible numbness or tingling that so often accompanies buzzy vibrations.

The pinpoint tip of this toy is really nice for precise stimulation. If you prefer broader or less focused vibration, laying the length of it across your vulva and clit is also extremely effective.

The Madonna operates via a simple one-button interface. You hold this button down to turn the toy on, press once to cycle through the patterns, and hold it down again to switch off. I do prefer toy interfaces where you can scroll both ways through the patterns and speeds (i.e. turning down as well as up). It’s reasonably quiet in use – if I switch it on in my bedroom, I can slightly hear it from outside the room with the door closed, but I cannot hear it at all in the next room.

Do I recommend it?

Yes, if… you’re looking for a rumbly vibrator for clitoral stimulation – or something for internal stimulation and you like textured or ridged toys.

I have to admit that I wasn’t expecting much from this one. Perhaps this is my bias showing, but I internally went “oh, another vaguely phallic-shaped generic vibrator with crappy power. Yawn”. But simple can sometimes be effective, if done well, and I’m really pleasantly surprised by the functionality of this toy. The level of power and the versatility between pinpoint and broader stimulation are the real selling points for me. Go get yours!

Thank you to Peepshow for sending me the Luxe Madonna Straight Seven vibrator to review. If you purchase through my affiliate links, I make a small commission. As ever, I promise to only recommend products I stand behind, and all views are and will always be my own. Pictures are by me – do not reproduce them without permission.

[Toy Review] Oh-Moji Emoji Vibrator, Because Why the Fuck Not?

I am trying to grow my income from sex writing, because even though I love it, it takes a lot of time and energy. Please consider becoming a Patron and get access to exciting bonus content (including an  exclusive new piece of erotic fiction every Tuesday!)

Sex, as I have long held, is hilarious. It’s also many other things, of course – hot, sweet, loving, occasionally healing and transformative. But often we get so caught up in the notion of Sex As Serious Business that we forget fucking is meant, first and foremost, to be fun.

So, even though I entirely am here for beautiful toys and plain-but-functional toys and hyper realistic toys, I am also occasionally here for silly, funny and plain ridiculous toys. Enter the Oh-Moji.

Just for fun, I’m using emojis instead of title headers for this piece. Because I can.

😍😘😜

My friends at Lovehoney offered me a sneaky peek at their new toy line ahead of its release, and how could I say no to that? The new line, it turns out, consists of three Emoji-themed mini wand vibrators: heart eyes (the one I have,) blowing a kiss, and tongue-out.

These vibes are silly and cute, and clearly marketed towards younger consumers. I have mixed feelings about this; it does seem to be playing into stereotypes about young people and students. However, if a vibrator with an amusing, irreverent design is what it takes to get a young person to buy their first toy and start exploring their sexuality, I’m good with that.

Each Oh-Moji is a petite 5″ long, with a white-and-yellow handle decorated with the Lovehoney heart logo, and a yellow wand head with one flat side, where the emoji face is printed. They are USB rechargeable, and you get about an hour of continuous use from a two-hour charge. I do wish rechargeable toy batteries would last longer, in general!

The Oh-Moji has 11 settings; 3 constant speeds and 8 patterns. It is operated via a simple one-button interface, which you press to change through the settings. This does mean that if you find one you like and skip past it, you have to go allllll the way back through again.

💦🍆🛀

The Oh-Moji is NOT waterproof, so please don’t let it get wet or try to use it in the bath! Luckily, the silicone head is removable which makes for easy clean-up after use. You can, of course, also do a quick clean with a toy wipe or medical wipe (I buy mine in bulk from a medical supplies site). The Oh-Moji is a little small to use with a condom, though you could if you really needed to – and a dam would work just as well to avoid unwanted fluid exchange if you’re sharing the toy without sterilising it first. As ever with silicone toys, please use a good quality water-based lube.

🙂😀😌

There are several things I like about these product. The design makes me giggle, and I like how small and innocuous they are.

I also, obviously, love that they’re body-safe. So many cheap vibrators and other toys are made of crappy, unsafe jelly/rubber/PVC materials which can be porous or even toxic. No such worries with this one, as the head is pure silicone. People who cannot afford to buy expensive, high-end toys also deserve body safe products and I’m really glad that Lovehoney are trying to cater for a particular corner of the likely-to-be-low-income demographic.

😒😐🙁

So what didn’t work for me with the Oh-Moji?

Primarily, the level of power. I am a self-confessed power queen and a lot of weaker vibrators just aren’t enough for me. Unfortunately, this one fell into that category. I persevered, but it simply wasn’t strong enough to get me off. The vibrations were very buzzy, too, whereas I much prefer rumbly.

I also did not like how flexible the neck is. I like to be able to press a vibe into my vulva when I’m using it, and the bendy neck just makes it impossible to do this without pushing it away.

👍/👎?

Possibly not a bad choice for a first vibrator, especially if you’re looking for something on the gentler side. It’s body-safe and not too expensive (£29.99 at full price, currently on sale for £19.99). However, I do not recommend this product to anyone who likes rumblier vibrations or a higher level of power. Overall, I like them much less than I liked Positive Vibes, Lovehoney’s last cheap, cute-design, body-safe offering.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Oh-Moji in exchange for an honest review. If you purchase from them using my affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission which helps me keep doing this work. Photos are by me and not to be used without permission. 

Masturbation Monday: “Through a Crack in the Door…”

The house is quiet. At first, I think there’s no-one home. He must have gone out to work. But then, at the end of the corridor, I notice the bedroom light on. The door is slightly ajar.

A picture of Edge Ecstatic, a naked white man damp from the shower, pictured from hips to shoulders.I shut the from door silently behind me, grinning to myself, knowing what my husband must be up to. I creep down the hall towards the bedroom.

Through the slightly open door, I have the perfect view of the bed – and the perfect view of him. He’s lying on his back in all his gorgeous, naked glory, eyes closed, right hand slowly stroking up and down his erect cock. I love watching him play with himself. I love the completely different way it lets me see his pleasure and his body. But somehow it’s even hotter when he doesn’t know I’m watching. It’s so natural. So… un-staged.

I watch his chest move up and down as his breathing quickens in time with the hand jerking his cock. A little gasp escapes from his lips. A drop of pre-come beads on the end of his shaft and slowly trickles out.

He’s close now. I can tell by the way his grip tightens, his hand moving faster and faster. I realise that I am holding my breath, and that my own cock is rock solid beneath my jeans. His hips are lifting up off the bed, thrusting his cock into his own hand the way he does into mine when I wank him off.

He groans loudly as he reaches his climax. Come splashes onto his stomach. I am overcome with the desire to crawl onto the bed beside him and lick it from his sweat-damp skin. Instead, I back away without making a sound, back down the hall towards the door. I wait a few seconds, then open the door and slam it loudly.

“Hi honey! Are you home?”

Masturbation Monday is created and owned by Kayla Lords. Click the logo to see what’s getting everyone off this week.

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[Toy Review] Lovehoney Hummer Penis Masturbator Wand Attachment

There are things that are a given when it comes to “being in a relationship with Amy”. You must have coffee in the house. I will make puns at you. And now, it seems, I will ask you to put strange things on your genitals so that I can overshare about it on the internet.

Thankfully, my stunt cock Mr CK is a good sport, so he agreed to try out the Hummer wand attachment so I could bring this review to you all.

The Hummer clear male masturbator wand attachment sitting on my laptop.

A note about terms: this toy is listed as “male masturbator attachment”. However, I have chosen to use the language of “penis masturbator,” because not everyone with a penis is a man and not all men have penises! I would like to invite all sex writers and sex-positive retailers to consider their language in this area and not ascribe genders to body parts unnecessarily.

With That Out of the Way, Let’s Take a Closer Look at the Hummer…

The Hummer penis masturbator wand attachment on the Lovehoney Classic Wand on a white sheet.The Hummer is a wand attachment for people with penises. It’s essentially a tube, lined with ridges and little nodules. You put it over the head of your wand and insert your penis into the tube, which then transmits vibrations all along your shaft.

It will fit the majority of wand vibrators. We used it with my Lovehoney Classic Wand and it was perfect, but it will also fit the Magic Wand Original, Doxy Original or Die Cast, and most standard-sized wands. The circumference is 7 inches, and it’s very stretchy.

Materials, Care and Cleaning

This attachment is made of TPE (thermoplastic elastomer). TPE is technically considered non-toxic in that it doesn’t contain harmful plasticisers like phthalates, but it is porous. This means it will harbour mold and bacteria, can only be cleaned at surface level, and cannot ever be fully sterilised. The material is also unstable and WILL break down over time.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of penis masturbators are made of TPE. At time of writing, I have only been able to find one wand attachment for penises made of silicone. (Know others? Let us know in the comments!)

I’m less against TPE for penis toys than I am for insertable toys, simply because the outer skin of the penis is much less likely to pick up an infection than a mucous membrane such as the inside of the vagina or anus. However, I still advise approaching TPE products with caution and always choosing silicone instead where options exist.

If you get a TPE wand topper or masturbator like this one, you should clean it with gentle soap and warm water (do not boil) and allow it to dry thoroughly, and check it for mold/black spots/damage to the material before every use. With infrequent use, it might last a year. If you’re using it more often, though, I recommend replacing every 3-6 months. You can probably extend its life slightly by using a condom, but ultimately this is a product that simply won’t last. TPE sex toys should DEFINITELY not be shared.

Our Experience

In terms of experience, this one was an absolute hit with Mr CK. We used it after having penetrative sex for a while, so he was already quite turned on.

Mr CK is on the larger-than-average side, as cocks go, and I did initially look at the size of the tube on the Hummer and go “LOL NO that’s not gonna fit”. However, the Hummer is super stretchy and so, with a very generous helping of lube, he slid into it comfortably. The material is quite grabby, so regardless of penis size I recommend with this attachment. Water-based in best for TPE toys.

I switched on the wand and I was immediately impressed with the strength of his reaction. People often forget that vibrators are not just for vulvas! Lots of penis owners seriously get off with vibrations, and a tube-style wand attachment like this one is a great way to distribute vibrations evenly along and around the shaft of the penis.

Suffice to say he came very hard and very fast. In terms of user experience at least, we declared this one a winner.

“Surprisingly effective!” – Mr CK

“Felt like a wrap-around Doxy!” – Mr CK

So Do We Recommend It?

Mixed.

I’m really loathe to wholeheartedly endorse a TPE toy. I really, really want someone to create a version of this made of silicone. That said, we really enjoyed using it and it gave my partner an amazing orgasm.

If you’re willing to replace it every few months, have at it. If you want something that’ll last you forever, this unfortunately isn’t it.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Hummer and a collection of other wand attachments for review. Check out the wand attachments tag for all reviews in this series. If you buy using my affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission. All views are, and will always be, my own. Pictures are by me and not for use without express permission.

[Toy Review] Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip Wand Attachment

This is the second in a serious of wand attachment reviews. I’m always getting asked about the best attachments for wand vibrators, so I thought it’s past time I tried some out and let y’all know what I thought. Because putting strange things on my genitals for science is what I do.

Up today: the Nuzzle Tip wand attachment by Wand Essentials.

The Important Stuff

The Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip attachment on the Lovehoney Classic Wand, lying on a white sheet.
Also feat. Lovehoney Classic Wand

The Nuzzle Tip is manufactured by US-based company Wand Essentials, who make wands of various kinds as well as dozens of different attachments. However, the Nuzzle Tip does not need to be used with a Wand Essentials wand – which is good, because I don’t own one! This attachment fits perfectly over the Magic Wand Original, Doxy Original or Die Cast, Lovehoney Classic, Deluxe and Desire wands, and will fit many others. The circumference is 7 inches and the silicone is just slightly stretchy. When in doubt, measure the head of your wand before buying.

The Nuzzle Tip features a tongue-like appendage, covered on the underside in little nodules. The advertising copy says it’s good for internal or external stimulation, but I really can’t see it being long enough to do much internally (there’s no way you’re reaching a G-spot with this thing!) It’s really a clitoral stimulation attachment.

I wish it wasn’t pink or at least came in other colour options, but you can’t have everything.

A Note on Safer Sex, Care and Cleaning…

The Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip on top of a pile of books, mainly about sex.
Also feat. part of my extensive book collection.

This attachment is made entirely of silicone, which is phthalate-free and non-porous. This means I am happy to recommend this attachment as 100% body-safe.

If your wand happens to have a porous head (some unfortunately still do, including the famed Magic Wand Original), using a silicone attachment is a great way to make it fully body-safe. Likewise, if you’re sharing your wand between partners and you’re not fluid-bonded, using attachments and swapping them out between users is an easy way to protect yourselves from unwanted fluids and potential STI transmission.

You can clean this attachment with a toy wipe or sterile medical wipe (I buy mine in bulk from medical suppliers,) and throw it in a pot of boiling water/a 10% bleach solution/the dishwasher to sterilise thoroughly.

Remember: this attachment is waterproof, but your wand probably isn’t!

So How Does It Feel?

The Wand Essentials Nuzzle Tip lying on a fuck.com notebook.
Also feat. Notebook from Fuck Dot Com.

When you switch on your wand, the effect is that the tongue on the Nuzzle Tip sort of flicks up and down very fast with the vibrations. This results in very intense and fairly pinpoint clitoral stimulation. The silicone dampens the strength of the wand a little bit, but really not very much.

I actually find I can come more quickly with this attachment with the wand on a lower setting than I can with the wand on full power but without an attachment.

It feels divine, folks. The flicking motion is intense and delicious. I can come in 2-3 minutes easily with this attachment.

One word of caution: without enough lubrication, this kind of stimulation can feel so intense it’s painful, so I always recommend a generous blob of water-based lube.

I’m not ashamed to say I have used this attachment for every single purely-for-fun, not-testing-anything-for-review wank since I received it. I never thought anything could make me love wands even more, but this baby has done it.

So Do I Recommend It?

Yes! I cannot tell you enough how much I love this attachment. If you want intense clitoral stimulation or crave the power of a wand with more pinpoint precision, the Nuzzle Tip is for you.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this and other wand attachments for review. Check out the wand attachments tag for all reviews in this series. If you buy using my affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission. All views are, and will always be, my own. Pictures are by me and not for use without express permission.

[Toy Review] Chrystalino Blue Glass Double-Ended Dildo

Chrystalino are a new brand to me. But when my new friends at Peepshow Toys included them in a list of review products for me to choose from, I just couldn’t resist the gorgeous blue glass! I went for the double-ended dildo as I did not previously have any double-ended toys in my collection.

The Chrystalino blue glass double ended dildo lying on top of its box on a brown chair seat.
This toy also comes in an attractive box.

A Touch of Glass…

I love glass toys. One of the first dildos I ever bought was my Icicles No. 5, which I used all the time until it sadly met its end on a tiled floor during a photoshoot.

Glass is hard and unyielding. It’s so smooth and so firm. You can warm it up or cool it down.

Specs ‘n’ Stats

My hand holding the Chrystalino double-ended blue glass dildo against a while background.
Hand model: me

The Chrystalino Double-Ended Dildo is a curved toy, 7″ in total length, making an insertable length (whichever way around you use it) of a little over 5″. The diameter is 1.3″ at the widest point. One end has a single large, bulbous head, and the other end has two smaller tapering bumps.

The material is handblown Borosilicate glass (which used to be what the common brand-name Pyrex represented, though apparently isn’t any more!) Borosilicate glass is non-toxic, non-porous and shatterproof, which makes this toy completely body-safe.

This double-ended dildo retails at Peepshow Toys for $35.99 (about £26.50), which is an absurdly good price for the quality. Peepshow currently carry six products from the Chrystalino range and they’re all between thirty and forty dollars. “Affordable AF!” as Phallophile Reviews notes.

Also Pretty AF

Apparently Chrystalino designs are “inspired by the Venetian glassmakers of Murano, with the beautiful art of lovemaking in mind“.  They’re all made of the same signature blue glass, which just screams luxury. They’re truly beautiful pieces of glass art as well as feeling wonderful. I would display this thing in my house!

So how did it feel?

The Chrystalino blue glass double-ended dildo on my kitchen counter with a "Coffee is My Love Language" mug.
Also pictured: “Coffee is My Love Language” mug by Kayla Lords. (https://www.redbubble.com/people/LovingBDSM/shop)

Mr CK and I tested this dildo together during a play session. I had my butt plugged (stay tuned for that review coming later!) and was lying on my front, and he slid the slimmer end of the dildo into me with the curve pointing toward the front of my body to press against my G-spot.

I cannot take a lot of hard thrusting with very solid toys. My vaginal opening gets sore and my cervix starts to complain. So what we’ve discovered works well with glass toys is this: slide it in, and then just wiggle it very slightly or tap on it lightly with a couple of fingers. This provides the necessary G-spot stimulation without making me sore. It’s less “pounding” and more “pressure”, and it feels incredible. I came five times in as many minutes just from this, until I had to safeword out and take a bit of a break.

After I’d recovered, I flipped over onto my back and we tried the thicker end of the toy. I’m pretty sure the noises I made when that bulbous head pressed against my G-spot scared the neighbours! With my sweetheart gently wiggling the dildo and me holding a wand to my clit, we brought me to another explosive orgasm.

This wand feels divine. The curve is perfect, the opportunity to work up from the smaller to larger ends is perfect, the shape of the heads is perfect.

Some more ideas for ways to use your Chrystalino glass toy

We didn’t use it anally, but this wand is designed to be safe for vaginal or anal use, so you definitely could.

Insert it and press a wand vibrator against the free end. The vibrations will travel all along the toy and feel wonderful.

Share it with a partner! I’m dying to use this toy with another vulva owner, one end inside each of us.

Heat it up or cool it down. The safest way to do this is run it under warm (not hot!) or cool water for a minute prior to play.

Some Notes on Cleaning

In most cases, as it’s non-porous, cleaning your Chrystalino dildo with a body-safe sterile wipe and some hot water and gentle soap will be more than sufficient.  However, Borosilicate glass is resistant to severe temperature changes (which is why it’s so often used in high-quality cookware!) – which means you can safely use boiling water to sterilise it if you want to.

Beware, though: not all glass sex toys are created equal, and some are made of soda-lime glass, which is still basically body-safe but cannot withstand boiling water or extreme temperature changes. This piece by Dangerous Lilly has more information.

Glass is condom-compatible, if you’re sharing it with a partner and concerned about potential STD transmission.

So do I recommend it?

Wholeheartedly. I adore it. Apart from possibly wishing it came with a storage bag (I’m always a bit scared of glass toys getting chipped in storage) I have absolutely no complaints.

This dildo and others in the Chrystalino range can be purchased from Peepshow Toys. If you use my affiliate links, I will make a small commission which helps me keep bringing honest adult product reviews to you. And don’t forget you can get 10% off by using code “coffee” at checkout!

Images are by me and not to be used without express permission. Thank you to Peepshow for providing me with this product in exchange for an honest review.