Three Great Things About Threesomes

I fucking love threesomes, and at this point in my life I’ve had a lot of them. Many good, a handful bad, and a rare few just explosively fucking brilliant.

A plate of pancakes. For a post about threesomes.Threesomes are, according to a bunch of studies and anecdotal evidence, one of the absolute most common sexual fantasies. The stereotype, of course, is that all straight men want a threesome with two women, but I think it goes deeper than that.

Making threesomes work isn’t necessarily easy, especially not the first few times you have one, but when they work they’re amazing.

Here’s three of the things I love most about the magical, mysterious menage et trois.

1. I get to watch my partner having fun

Seeing someone I love receiving and giving pleasure is fucking awesome. Threesomes allow me to see their pleasure in a whole new way. Through the way someone else touches them, I can learn new things about their body. From the things our Special Guest Star is into, they can pick up new tricks to bring back to their relationship with me. Watching my partner enjoying somebody else and being enjoyed by them just brings up massive feelings of compersion.

And let’s be real – what’s sexier than watching two hot people you’re wildly attracted to getting it on with each other, except watching this and also knowing you get to join in?

2. Getting to try different kinks and roles

There are some kinks and activities that simply need three or more people in order to work. For example, I’ve recently been having a lot of fantasies about having a submissive lower than me in the “hierarchy,” who I can push tasks or punishments off onto. I also generally have a lot of feelings about “Switch in the middle” type dynamics, where I have one person dominant over me and the other submissive to me. I really find group sex situations, especially threesomes with a more-dominant and a more-submissive partner, to be a great way to flex my Dom muscles in a safe way. Then again, I’m also really into subbing for two people at the same time – another one which, by definition, kinda requires three people to explore.

3. The warm fuzzies

No – seriously. This one might sound weird but it’s so true.

There’s the aforementioned compersion, of course, and how close and connected I feel to my partner afterwards. Then there’s the exhausted tangle of limbs in the bed when you take a breather or finally stop for the night. The warmth and cosyness of three-way snuggles. All the giggles and laughter and stupid jokes in between – or sometimes during – the fucking. The sense of awe and rush of deep fondness I usually feel for the person who has joined us, like “you’re so fucking great and I’m so fucking lucky to be getting to share this with you.” My best threesomes have been hot, yes… but they’ve also been happy, giggly, funny, silly, irreverent, sweet and affectionate.

Sometimes one of the nicest things about a really good threesome is in the morning, when your partner goes and makes pancakes for you and the girl you just fucked.

Enjoy this post? Please consider becoming a Patreon supporter. There’s bonus smut every week in it for you!

Image courtesy of Pixabay.

The Big Damn Wands Comparison Post

I’m obsessed with wands.

I love them. I love the size and weight of them, the intense rumble of the vibrations. And I fucking love the way they rip orgasms from by body, sometimes taking me from cold to coming in as little as a couple of minutes.

All seven of the wand vibrators I own lying on my bed on a white sheet.

Whether you use them on a clit, a dick, or on your sore muscles, wands are fucking great.

“But which wand should I buy?” people often ask me. And my answer is… it depends. It depends what you’re looking for. So here I want to look at some of the most popular wands on the market that I’ve tried, and the pros and cons of each to help you make an informed decision.

The One That Started It All: The Magic Wand Original (AKA “Hitachi”)

The Hitachi Magic Wand Original, lying on a blue notebook covered in bi pride stickers.I reviewed this just yesterday! It’s the most famous wand vibrator of all, popularised in the 1960s by the amazing and inimitable Betty Dodson. In use, I found it decent but not world-rocking. Your mileage may vary, of course, and it’s popular for a reason!

Quick facts: Plastic body; PVC head; 2 settings; mains powered.

Pros: The most famous and original wand vibrator; trusted for over 50 years; VERY powerful; mains powered so will never run out of charge.

Cons: Only 2 settings; porous head; very flexible/bendy neck; almost impossible to source legitimately outside of North America; not particularly visually attractive; needs to be plugged in to use.

Get yours: SheVibe or TooTimid. Retail price anywhere between $60 and $120.

The Rechargeable One: Desire Luxury Rechargeable Magic Wand by Lovehoney

Good rechargeable wands are really hard to find. Those in the US and Canada have the Magic Wand Rechargeable at their disposal if they can afford it, but what are the rest of us to do? I’m pleased to say that Lovehoney’s Desire Wand really delivers in this regard.

Quick facts: plastic body; silicone head; mains rechargeable; 20 patterns and 5 levels of intensity.

Pros: completely body-safe; LOTS of settings so extremely customisable; rechargeable – no need for a plug socket; 3 hours running time on a 3 hour charge; travel lock; comes with an attractive faux-leather case; visually beautiful.

Cons: Pretty heavy; less rumbly than some other wands; you can only scroll one way through the pattern settings, so if you skip over the one you like you have to go allllll the way back through; risk of batteries running out mid-wank.

Get yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Lovehoney Canada. RRP £99.99, currently on sale for £69.99 in the UK.

The Budget Option: Lovehoney Classic Mains Powered Wand

A white female hand holding the Lovehoney Classic Wand, a white wand vibrator decorated with a little red heart.

I initially didn’t expect much from this one, given the cheaper price-tag compared to luxury wands, but I was quite pleasantly surprised! I haven’t actually done a stand-alone review of this one yet but I will. With some caveats (see below) I’m happy to recommend it as a lower budget option for a wand.

Quick facts: Plastic body; rigid PVC-coated head; variable speeds controlled with a sliding wheel; mains powered.

Pros: Affordable; VERY powerful for the price; mains powered so no risk of running out of battery; easy slider control.

Cons: No pattern settings; somewhat porous head (using a condom is recommended); needs to be plugged in to use; one of the louder models.

Get yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Lovehoney Canada. RRP £49.99.

The Extremely Light One: Pink BOB Allure Wand

The Pink BOB Allure Wand, a pink wand style vibrator.I reviewed this one recently and overall liked it more than I expected to. It’s never going to be a top go-to wand recommendation in general, but some people struggle with the weight of some heavier wands and this is a good bet in that regard.

Quick facts: plastic body; silicone head cover; 20 speed/pattern settings; mains powered.

Pros: Body-safe; extremely light compared to all other models; very versatile with so many settings; mains-powered so no risk of running out of battery; solid level of power for the price.

Cons: EXTREMELY PINK; not the finest quality silicone; gets hot after more than 3o minutes’ use; “Battery Operated Boyfriend” as a brand-name.

Get yours: TooTimid. RRP $69.95.

The ‘Mid Budget, High Quality’ One: Lovehoney Deluxe Extra Powerful Mains Powered Wand

The Lovehoney Deluxe Wand, a black magic wand vibrator decorated with a little grey heart.I JUST tried this one last night and haven’t even reviewed it yet. Bear with me, though – I definitely will! In short I really like it and I’m growing more and more impressed with what Lovehoney are doing with their own-brand luxury toys.

Quick facts: Plastic body; silicone head; 10 speeds and 20 pattern settings; mains powered.

Pros: Body-safe; really good price for a luxury toy; mains-powered, so no risk of running out of charge; dozens of speed/pattern combinations so extremely versatile; sleek and attractive design; impressive level of power.

Cons: Pretty heavy; less rumbly than some other wands; you can only scroll one way through the pattern settings, so if you skip over the one you like you have to go allllll the way back through; needs to be plugged in to use.

Get yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Lovehoney Canada. RRP £79.99.

The Tiny But Mighty One: Doxy Number 3

A white female upturned hand holding the Doxy Number 3, a small silver wand vibrator with a black head.

Mr CK rolled his eyes at me when I brought this one home. “Surely you don’t need another Doxy?” Yes, friends, I definitely did. This baby is a POWERHOUSE, despite its small size. It’s the only wand I own that can make me come, through underwear, in less than a minute pretty reliably.

Quick facts: Aluminium body; silicone head; multiple graded settings and an escalating pulsation mode.

Pros: Body-safe; RIDICULOUSLY POWERFUL; rumbly vibrations; removable silicone head for easy cleaning; by far the smallest wand with this level of power on the market; mains powered, so no risk of running out of charge; sleek and attractive design; fantastic, ethical company with brilliant customer service.

Cons: Expensive; weighty for its small size, needs to be plugged in to use.

Get Yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Shevibe. RRP £119.99.

The Most Beautiful One: Doxy Die Cast

The Doxy Die Cast, a deep purple wand vibrator with a large black silicone head.

I don’t actually own one of these! (Any companies or generous readers want to send me a present? 😉 ). But I’ve tried out a friend’s one and it’s pretty divine.

Quick facts: Aluminium and titanium alloy body; silicone head; mains powered; multiple graded settings and an escalating pulsation mode.

Pros: Body-safe; RIDICULOUSLY POWERFUL; rumbly vibrations; mains-powered; the most beautiful wand on the market hands-down; fantastic, ethical company with brilliant customer service.

Cons: The most expensive on this list; only 1 “pattern” setting; very heavy; needs to be plugged in to use.

Get Yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Lovehoney Canada, Shevibe, The Pleasure Garden. RRP £149.99.

My Favourite One: Doxy Original

The Doxy Original, a purple wand style vibrator with a grey head, held on an upturned palm.What can I say!? I’m a loyal girl. Mr CK gave me one of these for my birthday our first year together, and I’m only about 10% joking when I say that’s when I knew he was a keeper.

Quick facts: Plastic body; non-porous, medical-grade PVC head; mains powered; multiple graded settings and an escalating pulsation mode.

Pros: Body-safe; RIDICULOUSLY POWERFUL; rumbly vibrations; mains-powered, so no worries about it running out of charge; comes in several different colours including purple, pink and white; fantastic, ethical company with brilliant customer service; has come down in price and is now really good value for the quality.

Cons: Only 1 “pattern” setting; needs to be plugged in to use.

Get Yours: Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney EU, Lovehoney Canada, Shevibe, The Pleasure Garden. RRP £89.99.

IN CONCLUSION

No-one except you can say with any certainty what the right wand for you will be… or even if wands are the right toys for you at all. They’re not for everyone. But I hope this post will have given you an insight into the pros and cons of various models I’ve tried, and why I think they’re great (or not so great).

Happy shopping, and you can always email me or hit me up on Twitter for a personalised recommendation!

Affiliate links are used in this post. Shopping with them sends a small kickback my way and helps me keep doing this work. Thanks to TooTimid and Lovehoney for providing me the toys required to do this post. Images are either by me, or property of the featured retailers, and must not be reproduced without express permission.

[Toy Review] Je Joue MiMi

If you’ve been reading my reviews for any amount of time, you will understand that I am a power queen. It’s really hard for a toy to score well with me on intensity/power level, because, well… my clit thinks vibrations can go big or fuck off.

I’ve heard Je Joue’s line of toys referenced on multiple occasions as being good picks for power fans, but this is the first time I’ve got to try one out for myself. My new friends at The Pleasure Garden shop generously sent me one to review.

The Je Joue MiMi, a small pink pebble shaped clitoral vibrator, shown from the front and side.As soon as I turned it on in the palm of my hand, I knew I was going to be impressed with this toy. Even on the lowest setting, the vibrations are deep and rumbly. But first, let’s take a look at some facts.

The Je Joue MiMi is a small (8.2 x 5cm) pebble-shaped silicone clitoral vibrator. It’s rechargeable via a magnetic USB cable, so you can plug it in to either the wall or your computer to charge. It has 5 vibration patterns and 5 levels of intensity, starting with that low rumble I mentioned and building up to some impressively powerful higher settings.

The MiMi came beautifully packaged in a classy purple box. Inside that is another black box which doubles up as ideal storage for the toy. Top marks for presentation.

But how did it function?

I tried out this baby during some sleepy afternoon sex with Mr CK. I was ready for a good hard clitoral orgasm, so of course – because he’s an evil bastard – he made me put the toy on my clit on the lowest setting, knowing that wouldn’t be enough to get me off. And it wasn’t, but… it was pretty damn effective at warming me up and getting me closer to the edge.

By the time he finally relented and allowed me to turn it on full, it took me less than a minute to come really hard. That’s no easy feat for me, even when I’m really horny. That’s testament to how good this toy is!

Another thing you’ll know if you’ve been reading my work for any length of time is that I don’t like vibration patterns. I find them offputting and annoying at worst, and “meh” at best in 95% of cases. The patterns the MiMi offers are better than some, but still not really for me. The constant vibration setting, though, I really can’t fault.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The MiMi retails for £65. This price point will make it inaccessible to some, but it’s also much better than many even higher-priced toys I’ve tried. Really good value for money if you can afford it (and comes with a 1 year warranty.)

Materials: ★★★★★
The entire toy is lovely matte silicone, which is beautifully soft to the touch as well as non-porous and body safe.

Appearance: ★★★★
I don’t love that it’s pink – but that’s a matter of personal preference. It’s at least a nice rich pink, not that horrible neon colour of some cheap toys. It does also come in lilac, purple and black if one of those colours is more your style.

In its favour, it’s really small and cute. Pleasure Garden describe it as “shaped like a smooth river pebble,” which is pretty accurate.

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
Did I mention this toy is tiny? I have really small hands and it still sat neatly in my palm. It’s VERY light, too – only 78g. This means the vast majority of people won’t have any trouble holding and using it.

The interface is intuitive – three buttons: on/up, off/down, and change pattern. I like that you can cycle through the speeds really easily. The only disavantage I can find is that the buttons are so small that you need to look closely to make sure you’re pressing the right one. They press easily and make a satisfying “click”. With the toy being so small, it’s easy to operate the buttons during use without breaking your flow or moving positions.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
The MiMi is smooth silicone and is waterproof, which makes clean-up a breeze. You can wipe it with a sterile medical wipe, or use warm water for a more thorough cleaning. You could pop it into a condom or use with another barrier if you’re sharing it between partners without sterilising. As ever, water-based lube is recommended.

Versatility: ★★★★★
The MiMi has 5 patterns and 5 different speeds to mix and match, making for a really customisable vibe. It’s also waterproof, so you can use it in the bath or shower too. One of the things I love about Pleasure Garden is that they don’t gender the marketing of their toys – and quite correctly point out that though this toy is designed for clits, it will also work really well for dicks, perineums, nipples… or even backs!

Intensity:
★★★★★
I’m really, really impressed on this score. The only other toy I’ve tried that comes close in terms of vibration strength against small size is the We-Vibe Tango (another long-time favourite!) It is rare I can orgasm in less than a minute from something that fits in the palm of my hand. A perfect little powerhouse.

Overall Score: ★★★★★
It’s a five out of five from me, because the downsides are few but the pros are many. If you have a clitoris, or any body part, that likes strong and rumbly vibrations, I don’t hesitate to recommend the MiMi.

Thank you to the lovely folks at The Pleasure Garden for sending me the MiMi to review. Buying toys from them supports a small, ethical, feminist business – which is something we all need more of in the world! – and also supports the blog as I receive a small commission through my affiliate links. This doesn’t affect my views on the product which are, and will always be, my own.

Image is property of The Pleasure Garden and reproduced here with permission.

[Wearable Review] Xenia Frame Set by Twisted Lingerie

It’s happened, you guys. I am apparently a lingerie person now! It took me a while to get there, but I think I am learning the delights of dressing up (or down, as the case may be) in sexy garments and tapping into my inner sex-kitten.

A thin white model wearing a black strappy lingerie set and nipple pasties.

That’s why I was delighted when Sophie from Twisted Lingerie approached me to work with me. I already wrote a sponsored post for them last week, and they were kind enough to also offer me a set from their gorgeous bondage-inspired range to review. After much deliberation, and with some input from Mr CK, I chose the Xenia Frame set, pictured left.

A package wrapped in pink tissue and sealed with a 'Twisted Lingerie' sticker, and a note which says "Amy, can't wait to read the review. Sophie."

 

The set came discreetly packaged in a plain black box with no indication what was inside. (Which is good, because we were away on holiday and my mother-in-law intercepted the package)! Inside, the garments were beautifully wrapped in pink tissue paper, sealed with a ‘Twisted Lingerie’ sticker, and even with a lovely note from owner Sophie. Full marks for presentation! But how did the set itself shape up?

My first reaction, I admit, was “shit, how do I get into this?” But when you pause and look closely, it’s actually pretty simple to work out which bits go where!

What came next was a big surprise: I looked in the mirror and went “whoa! Well… hello!” at myself. Suffice to say I do not look like the gorgeous model on Twisted’s site, and I approached this style of lingerie with some trepidation, being a curvy girl with all my boy-hair intact. But as soon as I put it on and looked in the mirror, my inner confidence-meter hit the ceiling.

I love the way the bra frames and accentuates my breasts – which I have long considered one (two?) of my best feature(s). I love the way the straps cross over the butt (which to me is like a “spank here!” X-marks-the-spot). But most of all, I love how this shows off every inch of my curves. There’s no sucking in or hiding away here. It’s pure showing-off, “here is my everything framed for your viewing pleasure and fuck you if you don’t like it”.

This is power lingerie.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
The Frame set is the cheapest in Twisted’s range of nine sets (you can also buy bras, knickers and suspenders as separates). It retails at the extraordinarily reasonable price of £35. (I should mention that the nipple pasties pictured on the model are NOT included with the set. This is made clear on the site.) Other sets range from £38 up to £79.

Appearance: ★★★★★
I adore everything in Twisted’s catalogue. I was super excited as soon as I started browsing when Sophie approached me. The aesthetic across this whole range is bondage-inspired, which I just find ridiculously hot, and it was the elegant-yet-sexy simplicity of the Frame set that drew me to it.

Materials: ★★★★
Well, there isn’t a lot of it, but that’s the idea! The pieces are made of a polyamide/elastane blend, which feels comfortable against the skin and has just the right amount of stretch.

Fit: ★★★★★
The pieces are true to size. I ordered a medium, which is listed as being equivalent to a UK 12-14, and it fits me beautifully at my current size 14. What I really love is that these garments are SUPER adjustable – more or less every single strap can be adjusted. This means if you lose or gain weight, you’re not going to size out of your item unless it’s a huge change. I could probably go up or down a dress-size and this set could be adjusted comfortably to fit. Also, what’s really cool is that even though it’s a set, you can order the two pieces in different sizes if necessary. So if you need large knickers but a medium bra? No problem, Twisted’s got you covered.

Overall Score: ★★★★★
The only complaint I have is that it’s too long until my next visit to the club! I want to wear this and smooch and fuck some hot babes, because it just makes me feel so damned sexy.

Do you agree? 😉

Thanks to Sophie at Twisted Lingerie for sponsoring last week’s post and for sending me this piece to review. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Go buy your lingerie from Twisted, because they make gorgeous things and we should be supporting women’s small businesses.

Picture of model in lingerie is property of Twisted Lingerie and reproduced here with their permission. Other images are by me and must not be used without my express say-so.

 

Bringing Extra Sexy Into Your Life with Lingerie

A thin white female body in the Xenia Classic Set, minimalistic black lingerie with a mesh bra ans a bondage aesthetic.As regular readers of the blog will know, I’m a pretty recent lingerie convert. Being a shortish, curvy girl who does NOT in any way resemble a Victoria’s Secret model, and has a general aversion to things like frills and excessive lace, I’d kinda decided it wasn’t for me. I was convinced otherwise when I was gifted a beautiful piece to review and realised I looked, and felt, like an absolute babe in it.

Valentine’s Day is coming up – the time for bringing out those basques, those little slips of latex and lace, to seduce your lover. But apart from the obvious (“wear it to bed and fuck your partner’s brains out”), how can you use lingerie to add a little extra sizzle of sexiness to your life?

Wear it under your work clothes.

If, like me, you’re a “practical undies” type of person the majority of the time, try wearing something really naughty under your work clothes one day. No-one else will know, but you’ll have an extra bounce in your step all day as you feel the sumptuous fabrics against your skin.

Pro tip: do this the day of a big meeting or presentation. You’ll stand taller and speak more confidently because you’ll be feeling gorgeous. Who says “power dressing” can’t be sexy?

Go shopping with your partner.A thin white woman in the Xenia Boudoir Set, a black mesh babydoll with a strap bra.

Whether this is a trip to your local lingerie store, or sitting at the computer together and lusting over sexy pieces like Twisted Lingerie’s stunning bondage-themed collection, make shopping for lingerie (for one or both of you!) a fun date activity with your partner. Whether you buy anything or not is up to you, but trying pieces on – or just imagining your lover in that fabulous bra or babydoll – is bound to get some lusty feelings flowing.

Dress out of your comfort zone.

Stepping out of our comfort zones can be an empowering and enlightening experience. This includes how we dress and what we think of as our aesthetic. Case in point: I didn’t think fancy lacey lingerie was my thing at all… until I tried it.

If you’re on the more femme end of the spectrum, try wearing something masculine-of-centre for a change, and vice-versa. If you normally go for frills, try something with harder lines or a more minimalist style. Pick out a colour or a pattern or a style you’d never typically wear. You might be surprised at how babely you feel!

Wear it while you masturbate.

A thin white woman in the Xenia Goddess set, an elaborate black strap and mesh lingerie set.This might sound a bit goofy, but stick with me. Masturbation is sex with your longest and most enduring sexual partner: yourself. If you’d dress up for a night in with a partner, why not occasionally dress up for a night in with yourself (and your favourite vibrator, if that’s your jam)? Feeling attractive and hot, even if no-one else is going to see it, is one of the ways I tap into my erotic energy. Looking in the mirror and going “yes, I would” makes me want to, well… do all kinds of things to my sexy self.

Take a hot selfie…

…or ten. There’s nothing like a sexy selfie to make you feel like an absolute babe. You don’t have to share it with anyone (though you can, if you like! Send it to a partner or even upload it to your blog, Instagram, Tumblr or Fetlife if you’re feeling daring). But just the act of putting on some beautiful lingerie, playing with lighting and filters and angles to get the perfect shot and then admiring the pics, will remind you what a gorgeous creature you are.

Tweet me: how do you bring extra sexiness into your life with lingerie?

This post was generously sponsored by the lovely folks at Twisted Lingerie. They’re a small start-up and have some absolutely gorgeous pieces. (They’ve also sent me a review item from their collection, so look out for that in the coming days). You should buy from them because they have beautiful things and we should support women’s small businesses. All opinions are, and will always be, my own.

All images are property of Twisted Lingerie and reproduced here with their permission. Do not steal them.

Twisted Lingerie banner ad

[Toy Review] Godemiche Valentine’s Dildo

I’ve been a Godemiche fangirl ever since I first encountered their beautiful, unique, colourful and fun dildos at Eroticon last year. So imagine my delight when they, via the always-wonderful Molly, offered me and my bits an early peek at their new Valentine’s design.

It looks like this:

The Godemiche Valentine's dildo, a purple and white sparkly dildo with little purple hearts.

The picture really doesn’t fully do it justice. It is white and purple, and sparkly with little hearts. I squealed so hard when I took it out of the delivery box and ran upstairs to show it to Mr CK, who was quite bemused at how delighted I was.

Facts ‘n’ Figures

The toy’s diameter is about 1.6″ at the widest point, and the total insertable length is about six inches. It’s got a large, round base which makes it harness-compatible and also anal-safe. (Can we just talk for a minute about how much I want to put this into my strap-on and fuck another cute femme with it!? Because seriously.)

My ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
This is a limited-edition toy and will be retailing for £35, which is an absolute steal for a hand-poured silicone dildo of this quality!

Appearance: ★★★★★
My inner femme is squealing with delight at this toy. Look at it! It’s glittery with little purple hearts! I love it so much I want to put it out as a display item almost as much as I want to stick it in my genitals.

Feel: ★★★★★
It’s made of beautiful matte silicone, which is nice and soft as well as flexible. The curve and shape of the head mimics a bio-cock. The tip’s angle is just right to deliver glorious pressure to my G-spot. I also found it to be the perfect size for me – I’m not much of a size-queen, especially where length is concerned (my entire genital area will pack up and go “NOPE” if anything hits my cervix) but I like to feel pleasantly full, and this dildo delivered in that regard. Combined with my Doxy on my clit, it gave me an explosive orgasm.

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
The base fits neatly in my hand, making it super easy to hold and manipulate. It slid in smoothly with just a coating of water-based lube and is delightfully simple and comfortable to use.

Care, Cleaning & Body Safety: ★★★★
All Godemiche dildos are made from premium quality silicone, which is non-toxic and non-porous, meaning it’s completely body safe and should last for years if properly cared for.

Clean-up is easy. You can wash silicone dildos with soap and water, wipe them clean with a sterile medical wipe, or boil them in a pan of water for a few minutes to sterilise completely. Being basically penis-shape, it’s the perfect shape to use with a condom if you’re sharing it. Silicone is safe to use with both latex and latex-free condoms.

Overall score: ★★★★★
From my perspective at least, this toy is basically perfection in dildo form. If you are (or if you know) a sparkle-femme then you need this in your life.

Thank you to Godemiche for sending me this toy in exchange for an honest review. Thanks also to Molly for facilitating setting this up. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Please support small businesses like Godemiche by buying their products, and if you’d like to support my work I will gladly take a virtual coffee. Photo is by me. Don’t steal it, thanks.

2017 “Top 5” Roundup

Apart from my 1 Year Anniversary post on New Years’ Eve (which is written and ready to go,) this will probably be my last post of 2017. In that vein, I wanted to end the year with a roundup post of sorts, some Top 5s from the year.

I hope you are all having a wonderful festive season and I can’t wait to keep the conversation about all things sex and kink going with you in 2018.

A fluffy tabby cat playing with a gold bauble handing from a Christmas tree. For a post about Top 5s of 2017.

Top 5 New Sex Toys

#1Doxy Number 3, simply one of the most perfect things to ever have graced my bits.
#2We-Vibe Tango, the only bullet I will ever need.
#3Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation, the toy that made me like suction toys.
#4Come Hither Rabbit, the only rabbit vibrator I’ve ever enjoyed.
#5The Ruby Glow, a revelation in ride-on fun.

Top 5 Sex Blogging Inspirations

#1Kayla Lords
#2Girl on the Net
#3Molly Moore
#4Kate Sloan
#5Emmeline Peaches

Top 5 Awesome Events

#1Eroticon 2017, the one that started it all.
#2 – Autumn CM/nf, where I get to be naked and ogle pretty men in suits.
#3Lube & a Laptop, a fun summer social with other sexy writers and creators.
#4 – BiCon 2017, where I got to teach my workshop on “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex Toys” for the first time.
#5 – Sex Blogger Christmas, a super fun (and boozy) event hosted by the wonderful EA and Livvy.

Top 5 Books About Sex

#1Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski
#2How a Bad Girl Fell in Love by Girl on the Net
#3Approaching the Swingularity by Cooper S Beckett
#4Enjoy Sex (How, When and IF You Want To) by Meg-John Barker & Justin Hancock
#5The Myth of Sex Addiction by Dr David Ley

Top 5 Podcasts

#1Loving BDSM, where Kayla and John bring their unique brand of humour, opinions and adorableness to speaking and educating on all aspects of the BDSM lifestyle. #CricketCrew4Lyf
#2The Dildorks, “dorky discourse on sex, dating and masturbating,” with the wonderful Kate Sloan and Bex Caputo.
#3The Guilty Feminist, which makes me cry with laughter and feel better about all the times my life choices don’t fully match my highest feminist ideals.
#4Polyamory Weekly, a very long-standing favourite about all aspects of unconventional love.
#5Life on the Swingset, the swinging and polyamory podcast.

Top 5 Blog Posts

#1The Tyranny of No Rules: In Defense of Polyamorous Heirarchy
#2I’m Looking for Baggage that Goes with Mine
#3“Pretty” is Not My Success – On Being a Swan
#4#SexNotStigma: Using My Sexuality to Manage my Mental Health
#5“Bring the Collar” – The True Story of a D/s Breakup

Top 5 Accomplishments

#1 – Winning the New Voices Award from Molly’s annual list of the best sex bloggers.
#2 – Placing as one of Kinkly’s Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes.
#3 – Starting to earn Actual Money from writing about sex.
#4 – Organising Smutathon 2017 and raising £2,000 for Backlash and Rape Crisis.
#5 – Doing #KinkMonth/3o Days of Ds and writing a post every single day for the month of October.

Top 5 Goals for 2018

#1 – Start a PhD programme.
#2 – Cut down to 4 days a week on my day job and make up the additional income from writing.
#3 – Place in the Top 50 of the Kinkly Sex Blogging Superheroes list.
#4 – Have a piece of erotic fiction published, either in an anthology or as a stand-alone.
#5 – Finish my sexy novella set at a BDSM convention.

So there you have it, friends! What were your Top 5s of 2017?

Affiliate links are used within this post. All opinions my own. Image is courtesy of Pixabay.

Sexy Festive Travel Essentials

The main thing I’m looking forward to over Christmas, apart from my mother’s cooking, is spending some quality time with Mr CK and having some hot filthy sex. We’ve both been sick lately – first me, then him, now me-again-but-still-him-a-little-bit-too. Combined with the fact that my day job works me into the ground from early October to late December, and… yeah. Kinky fuckery has been thin on the ground lately!

The bottom of a Christmas tree with presents under it, and a woman's legs in stripey stockings and a Mrs Claus skirt. For a post about sexy travel essentials.

In the spirit of the holidays – a time when lots of us are visiting or being visited by family – and also the fact that Mr and I will be going on an Actual Vacation in January, I thought I’d share some of my favourite sexy travel essentials and tips with you all. These are things that are small enough to throw into an overnight bag or carry-on, easy to use discreetly… and not likely to raise any questions at airport security if that’s a thing you have to contend with.

Sample packs of lube

Lube is an absolute essential to me – I often don’t get wet enough to have intercourse comfortably without it, even when I’m really turned on, plus it’s a great shortcut in those “oh look the family have all gone to the store we have fifteen minutes” moments.

A large bottle is problematic when traveling, though. It’s bulky when you’ve got limited packing space, and frankly I’m always terrified it’s going to leak all over my clothes. Sample size packs are perfect – they’re tiny, light, don’t leak, and you can discreetly dispose of the packet at the end of playtime.

Top recommendation from me is the Sliquid Lube Cube.

Small and discreet vibe

Alas, my Doxy is neither discreet enough for sneaky quiet fucks while staying in the family home, nor likely to get through airport security without raising some serious questions. I still want to be able to use a vibe while traveling, though, so the key is to take something small and not too loud!

I’ll be packing my We Vibe Tango and my Rocks Off Bamboo, for sure. Whatever vibe you’re taking with you, remember to travel-lock it or take the battery out while you’re on the move!

Travel-friendly kink toys

The family home is not the place to crack out (see what I did there?) the 6 foot singletail. Things like floggers or even hand-spanking are probably out, too, if you’re sharing space in close quarters with people who don’t want to hear what you’re up to!

My favourite discretion-and-travel-friendly kink toys include a set of leather cuffs, nipple clamps, and the Evil Stick of Pain.

(Disclaimer: I don’t promise your sub will be quiet when you use the latter on them!)

Some underwear that makes you feel really sexy

When it’s difficult to find the time or privacy to fuck or masturbate, but I want to remind myself that I’m a sexual being, wearing some really sexy underwear under my clothing helps me tap into my sensuality. When no-one else knows it’s there, it’s my private little sexy secret – all for me.

If a lover gets to see it hours later when I peel off my clothing, that’s a bonus. But the point of wearing it is just to feel good in my body.

You know what feels good to wear for you. For me, it’s my favourite knickers. (Link contains my butt.)

A small safer-sex kit

Mr and I are fluid bonded, so our safer sex kit is small, but we usually pack a few things – especially if there’s any chance at all that we’ll have the opportunity to hook up with anyone but each other. Your preferences will inevitably vary, but some condoms, some nitrile gloves and some dams, a pack of sterile wipes (for toy cleaning on the fly) and some alcohol gel are our essentials. Of course, if you’re on any kind of regular birth control, take that with you too!

Tweet me and tell me what your seasonal travel essentials are!

Affiliate links are contained in this post. All opinions my own. Image is from Pixabay, a fab source of legal, royalty-free images.

[Wearable Review] Oscuro Black Stretch PVC Catsuit

I have very little body confidence, and I am also a #LazyFemme. Hardly the target demographic for a skin-tight, everything-on-display catsuit! Even so, for some reason, when I saw this baby at the Latex, Leather and Lace opening I just went “oooh, yes, want!” Because they are supremely lovely, and I know how to flutter my eyelashes, the lovely

I slipped out of my jeans and into the catsuit in the swanky new changing room, and I don’t think I have ever gone from “casual, slightly scruffy” to “holy shit I am hot” so quickly in my entire life. It did help, of course, that when I emerged from the changing room, at least three women had to pick their jaws up off the floor at how fabulous this thing makes my tits look. (My boobs are already like a 12/10, not gonna lie, but they get at least 50% more fabulous when encased in skintight PVC.)

A black PVC full body catsuit, modelled by a pretty white woman with blonde hair.With a high collared neck and long sleeves, this suit is made from 4-way stretch PVC, and therefore is super comfy to wear. Zips in strategic places make it easy to loosen or tighten where you like, as well as allowing for essential things like peeing or getting fucked without taking the whole suit off! It comes in sizes from Small (UK 10) to 2XL (UK 18.)

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The Oscuro catsuit retails at £64.99 from Latex, Leather and Lace. It’s definitely not a cheap item, but is a good reasonable option for someone who wants a catsuit but doesn’t want to pay the much higher pricetag for latex or leather.

Appearance: ★★★★★
Mmmmffff. Yessssss. I love how this thing looks, and how I look in it. It’s sexy as hell. I like pairing it with some killer black heeled boots for instant Dominatrix vibes, or with my kitty ears and a tail or more of a submissive kitten look.

Materials: ★★★★
It’s made of 4 way stretch PVC with a lycra backing. This makes it super comfy – it hugs your curves but also allows for relatively free and unrestricted movement. A great option for wearing all night. Though if you’re intending to dance or play or fuck the night away, be warned that it does get Extremely Hot after a while.

Fit: ★★★★
The sizes seem to run fairly true to whatever semblance of “standard sizing” we have for women’s clothing. I wear a 12 and the medium fits me really nicely. It’s a little tight over my 36DD boobs, but just on the edge between “epic cleavage” and “actually so tight it’s uncomfortable”- however, if you have a large bust you might want to try before buying or even consider going a size up. I’m about 5’5″ and have short legs relative to my torso, and the legs on this run quite long. Shorter folks or those with short legs: you’ll probably want to wear heels with this or you’ll be tripping over the ends.

Overall Score: ★★★★
A real winner. I love it! Can’t wait to wear it to the club. (And I’ve promised my friends Jo and Jess that it’ll make an appearance at Eroticon, too!)

Don’t forget: this piece featured in my 2017 holiday gift guide because I loved it so much. Go to my exclusive gift guide page and buy through there  to support me. Don’t forget to use code COFFEEANDKINK10 for 10% off!

Thanks to the lovely folks at Latex, Leather and Lace for giving me this product to review! All views are my own. Links to the product are not affiliate links. If you’d like to support me, please consider buying through the link in the right hand sidebar. Use code COFFEEANDKINK10 at checkout for 10% off.

The image in this post belongs to Latex, Leather and Lace, and I have used it with their permission.

Holiday Gift Guide 2017

It’s that time of year, folks! Whatever you’re celebrating this winter, it’s likely you’ll have cause to give gifts to your loved one(s.) For your romantic or sexual partners (or friends with whom you have that kind of relationship) why not give them a sexy gift they’ll really love?

And, of course, don’t forget that YOU are someone you love! Whether you’re partnered this festive season or not, why not treat yourself to something special too?

To give you plenty of time to get your sexy shopping in, here’s my specially curated gift guide for 2017.

A couple of quick notes:

1: I have deliberately avoided gendered language in this post. I talk about vulva-owners and penis-owners because people of all genders can have all kinds of genitals and too many of us feel alienated by aggressively gendered toy marketing.

2: Links here are affiliate links unless otherwise stated. If you buy from an affiliate using my links, I will make a small commission which helps me to keep doing this work. As always, I only partner with companies I trust and I promise to NEVER recommend an unsafe product, or one I’m uncertain as to the safety of.

DISCOUNT JUST FOR ‘COFFEE & KINK’ READERS! Get 15% off EVERY gift guide item available at Lovehoney when you use the links in this post. Prices listed here DO NOT include the discount.

Top Picks: Vibrators
The Doxy Original, a purple wand style vibrator with a grey head, held on an upturned palm.

 

The Queen of vibrators and one of my favourite things in the whole world, the super-powerful Doxy Massager will always be top of my list. My Doxy is the only toy that always lives next to my bed, and it remains the best gift a lover has ever given me. £89.99 from Lovehoney.

The Doxy Die Cast, a deep purple wand vibrator with a large black silicone head.

 

 

If you love the Doxy, there’s also the newer, smaller-but-heavier Die Cast version,  with a beautiful aluminium and titanium body and body-safe silicone head. £149.99 from Lovehoney.

 

 

The We-Vibe Tango, a small blue bullet vibrator. For a review post.
Small but mighty, the We-Vibe Tango was one of my favourite discoveries this year. Discreet, small, easy to use and POWERFUL AS ALL FUCK, this one’s a sure winner for the power queens out there – and anyone who likes their vibes portable. Unlike many pocket-sized vibes, it’s also really rumbly. Check out my review. £54.99 from Lovehoney.

The Rocks Off Bamboo, a small lipstick shaped rose gold vibrator.

For those on a budget, the Bamboo vibrator by Rocks Off is my favourite low-priced vibe discovery this year. Body-safe, pretty, quiet and powerful-ish, this is a really solid little toy for the price. £16.99 on Lovehoney.

Top Picks: Dildos

The Idee du Desir Orchid 1001 Nights dildo for a review post. Pictured with an orchid flower.
The Idee du Desir Orchid 1001 Nights dildo is a really beautiful luxury wooden dildo that I completely fell in love with this year. With its subtle gold shimmer, it’s the height of classiness, and those gentle ridges feel divine. €90 from Idee du Desir (not an affilitate)


A line of Effulgence Ambit silicone dildos in a range of shimmery colours.I discovered Godemiche this year at Eroticon and I am in love with their beautiful, unique silicone toys – each one is hand poured and they come in all kinds of beautiful colours. The Effulgence Ambit range, pictured, is my favourite because GLITTER. £35-47 from Godemiche (not an affiliate.)

The Tantus Vamp Super Soft, a midnight purple dildo with a realistic head and flared base.

Tantus make beautiful silicone dildos that feel absolutely divine. My favourite is the Vamp Super Soft (in midnight purple, obviously!) With a flared base, it’s perfect for vaginal or anal use and can even be paired with your favourite harness for the ultimate strap-on experience. $69.99 from Tantus Inc.

 

A curved glass g-spot dildo from Lovehoney

 

Glass dildos have long been a love of mine. I like to insert them and then juuuust barely wiggle them against my G-spot. They’re so rigid that even this slight movement provides a world of blissful sensation. Try the curved sensual G-spot glass dildo from Lovehoney, £24.99.

Something A Bit Different

The Zumio, a purple sex toy with a small plastic tip. Shaped a bit like a toothbrush.
There’s been a lot of buzz (sorry) about the Zumio this year. I hate the claim that it is guaranteed to give any woman an orgasm in 60 seconds or less because BODIES DO NOT ALL WORK THAT WAY, but the product itself is genuinely innovative and has received overwhelmingly positive reviews. For lovers of direct, pinpoint clitoral stimulation, this is the one. £134.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Eroscillator, a purple sex toy that looks a bit like a toothbrush. Pictured with 6 attachments.I was lucky enough to try the Eroscillator as a friend’s place recently. (Yes, I have excellent friends.) Despite looking like what Kate Sloan describes as a “steampunk toothbrush” (yes) it’s amaaaazing. Because it oscillates rather than vibrates, it somewhat mimics the sensation of fingering, only faster. It also comes with six (count them!) attachments. Perfect for lovers of the kind of clit stim that brings you to a deliciously slow-build orgasm. £199.99 from Lovehoney.

 

I just got my paws on this cutie for a review and it’s brilliant! The straps hold it against the vulva for hands-free use and it’s operated with remote control, making it super ergonomic to use solo AND suitable for delicious partnered play. Try wearing it and giving your lover the remote to take control of! It has 8 patterns and 12 speeds. £74.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation, a suction based sex toy that looks like a little penguin wearing a pink bow-tie. For a review post.

Suction based toys are all the rage right now and my favourite is the Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation, which I reviewed recently. Don’t let the cuteness put you off – aside from literally looking like a little penguin in a bow tie (because obviously!), this baby gives me orgasms so powerful my partner can hear them from the other end of the house. £69.99 from Lovehoney.

Favourites for Couples

The We-Vibe sync, a wearable purple C-shaped vibrator. Pictured with the remote control and a mobile phone.

We-Vibe created the original wearable vibrator for couples, and the Sync is the newer and improved version of their classic. Worn during intercourse, the internal piece stimulates the penis and G-spot, while the outer arm stimulates the clitoris. It’s remote controlled, so no worries if you want to adjust the speed while you’re wearing it, and the app functions make your experience super customisable. £159.99 from Lovehoney.

 

A black strap on aet with silicone dildo and another smaller dildo pictured to the side. From Lovehoney. I love strap-on play, especially pegging (where a vulva-owner penetrates a penis-owner anally with a strap-on.) This set is great value. I love it because the harness is really adjustable to fit a wide range of bodies, and you can use it with any dildo with a decent base. I like using the 5 inch slimline dildo it comes with for pegging, and swapping out for the bigger size or my Tantus if fucking another person with a vagina. £44.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Feeldoe, a purple double ended v-shaped vibrating dildo.

The Feeldoe has become a classic for good reason. The shorter end is inserted into the vagina of the giving partner, and they use the longer end to fuck the receiving partner. Somewhat more advanced than a basic strap on, but with the huge added bonus of direct internal stimulation for the fucker. Plus, it’s made from lovely body-safe silicone and even has an inbuilt vibrating bullet. From $124.99 from Tantus.

 

Top Picks for Dicks

Note: this section is somewhat out of my area of expertise. These recommendations come from extensive reading of reviews and help from some of the wonderful dick-owners in my life!

 

I can’t have a section on toys for dicks without mentioning Fleshlight, the original and best-selling masturbator. Flight by Fleshlight comes highly recommended. One reader commented that he likes that it’s less obviously anatomical looking than some penis toys. £44.99 from Lovehoney.

The Pulse III Solo, a black three-quarter sleeve style toy for penises.

 

I adore Hot Octopuss. Their toys are so innovative and their #SexNotStigma campaign is brilliant. (Check out the sponsored post I wrote for them a little while ago!) Their Pulse III uses oscillating Pulse Plate technology, which is – get this – medically proven to bring about ejaculation. The Solo is designed for – unsurprisingly – solo use, while the Duo boasts a vibrating underside to stimulate a vulva during partnered play. £79.99 (Solo) or £99.99 (Duo) from Hot Octopuss, with 10% off when you use this link and code CK10.

The Tenga Black Flip Hole, a black male masturbation sleeve with buttons on the side, held in a female hand.

 

The Tenga Flip Hole masturbator boasts “multiple asymmetrical textures and buttons that enable you to manually tailor pressure anywhere along your shaft.” This is a far cry from “just stick your dick in and fuck it” penis toys, and allows for an amazing range of different sensations. Bonus: it pops open for easy and thorough cleaning. £69.99 from Lovehoney.

The Tantus C-Sling, a red silicone cock ring with a contoured tongue.

Cock rings are brilliant! They restrict flow of blood from the erect penis, giving a stronger erection and keeping the dick harder for longer. The C-Sling from Tantus works in basically the same way, with the added bonus of the contoured tip which gently stimulates the perineum during play. $34.64 from Tantus.

 

Anal Fun

The We-Vibe Ditto, a purple silicone butt plug. Pictured with the remote control and a mobile phone.

The We-Vibe Ditto is We-Vibe’s first and long-awaited anal toy. It’s relatively small – the insertable length is only about 3 inches – and uses We-Vibe’s signature powerful vibrations. It’s remote- or app-controlled and has 10 different vibration modes. The Ditto is even waterproof if you want to get your sexy on in the shower. £109.99 from Lovehoney.

 

A glass butt plug from Lovehoney.

 

Did I mention I LOVE glass toys? Well, that goes for anal toys too. Mr CK bought me this beauty from Lovehoney for my birthday and it is one of the most perfect plugs to ever go up my butt. £19.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Rocks Off Naughty Boy, a curved reverse C-shape black prostate vibrator.

 

I love Rocks Off! Their Naughty Boy is a slimline vibrating prostate stimulator with a gentle curve to perfectly hit those sweet spots. It has 7 different functions and is powered by a removable RO80 bullet. £49.99 from Lovehoney.

 

The Aneros MGX, a white curved prostate stimulator with a curly base.

 

This one comes to the list courtesy of my friend, fellow blogger and sometimes co-creator Exhibit A, who describes it as “the other love of [my] life!” (One assumes the first love is his awesome wife Livvy!) The Aneros MGX is a plastic (body-safe!) prostate massager works with the sphincter muscles for hands-free fun, and stimulates both the prostate and perineum. £39.99 from Lovehoney.

 

Let’s Get Kinky

If you’re into impact play, how about treating yourselves to the most beautiful floggers you’ll ever own? Kabunza is a small business, headed up by designer, maker and teacher Aemilia Hawk. Not an affiliate, I just love them forever. Every creation is unique and you can even custom-order. Various prices.

A pair of silver "Clover" nipple clamps held in a female hand.

 

I’m a big fan of nipple clamps, and clover clamps are my favourites of all! They are quite pinchy and tighten when you pull on them. Not recommended for beginners to nipple play! This is the set we have, from Bondage Boutique. They’re so affordable and have lasted us two years and are still going strong. Remember… they hurt more coming off! £8.99 from Lovehoney.

A coil of violet dyed hemp rope from Twisted Monk

 

Bondage enthusiasts understand the sensual and aesthetic appeal of beautiful rope. If you love natural fibres in beautiful colours, get your hands on some of Twisted Monk’s hand-dyed hemp. The violet, pictured, is my favourite. Not an affiliate. $35.99 for 30ft from Twisted Monk.

 

Luxurious Lingerie & Foxy Fetishwear

 

The Lovehoney Moonlight Wine Crotchless Basque, a deep red one piece of lingerie, modelled by a pretty white woman with dark wavy hair.I The Lovehoney Moonlight plunge babydoll, made of red wine satin and black lace. Modelled by a pretty dark haired woman.am completely in love with Lovehoney’s brand new Moonlight range. The black lace and red-wine satin oozes sophistication. My favourite pieces, pictured, are the plunge babydoll set and the crotchless body. Perfect for cosy winter nights in with your lover. I’ve just received a review piece (look out for that!) and it makes me feel like a total babe. Every piece comes in plus sizes, too, so everybody can look and feel gorgeous. £34.99 from Lovehoney. My favourites are included in the offer, or you can check out the whole range and take advantage of 25% off when you buy any two pieces.

 

A black PVC full body catsuit, modelled by a pretty white woman with blonde hair.

 

My new favourite is this sexy catsuit from Latex, Leather & Lace. I tried one on in their new store and it was love at first meow! (Watch out for my full review, coming soon). Pair with some sexy black boots (like those below, perhaps?) and you’ll be “feline” gorgeous all night long. £64.99 from Latex, Leather & Lace.

 

 

A black leather overbust corset modelled by a dark haired white woman running her hand through her hair.

 

I adore real leather. The feel, the warmth, the smell… oh god, the smell. Mmmff. That’s why I am lusting HARD after this Lady Anne corset by Allure Leather, and I’m sure you will be, too. £160.99 from Latex, Leather & Lace.

 

 

Pleaser 1020 black high heeled lace up boots
I hate most things about winter. What I do love, though, is that it’s BOOTS SEASON! I can’t even remotely walk in heels without breaking myself, but I do enjoy wearing them to feel sexy once in a while. This winter I’m lusting after these Pleaser beauties. The high-heel wearer in your life is bound to love them too! £70.95 from Latex, Leather & Lace.

 

 

All pictures in this post are property of the respective retailers and are reproduced here with their permission.