5 Ways to Use a Sex Position Wedge

I recently received Lovehoney’s Ultimate Sex Position Enhancer Set, a two-piece set comprising a sex position wedge and ramp. Instead of doing a straightforward review, I thought I’d do something a little different and tell you about a few different ways you can use items like this.

Sex furniture and sex position aids are having a moment in a big way, and I’ve been wanting to try some for ages. Turns out they are both enormous (Mr C&K when this thing arrived in a comically huge box: “Amy, where on EARTH are you going to keep it!?”) and surprisingly versatile.

Lovehoney Ultimate Sex Position Enhancer Set

This set consists of two pieces, a wedge and a ramp, that can be used together or separately. Both are 24″ wide, with the ramp measuring 34″ in length and 12″ in height and the wedge measuring 14″ in length and 7″ in height. Again: I did not fully grasp how huge these things are. Think very carefully before purchasing if you live in a tiny apartment or don’t have anywhere to store them!

The cushions are made of a firm and supportive foam, and covered with a micro-velvet cover that is fluid proof, removeable, and washable. So if you get sex fluids or lube all over it, just whip the cover off and wash it on a normal cycle in the washing machine. The exterior is also soft and non-slippery. I wish they came in a colour other than grey, but at least it’s fairly unobtrusive and will blend in with your decor.

The set retails for £249.99 ($299.99 US.)

5 Ways to Use a Sex Position Wedge or Other Sex Position Aid

There are so many creative ways to use a sex position wedge, position aid, or other types of sex furniture. Here are just a few of my faves.

Try Different Positions for Penetrative Sex

This is perhaps the most obvious use for a piece of sex furniture such as a sex position wedge. It is, presumably, what they were originally designed for. But whether you’re having penis-in-vagina, anal, or strap-on sex, a sex position wedge or ramp can make it easier and more comfortable to get into all kinds of positions.

I hear they can be particularly good for missionary position vaginal sex, raising the receiver’s hips to allow for deeper penetration and more precise G-spot stimulation. They’re also great for legs-up positions and for cushioning the knees during receiver-on-top positions.

Make Oral Sex Easier

Do you love going down on your partner for hours but find that neck strain is an issue for you? Yeah, me too (I often use the edge of the bed for this reason, which can work well.) But a positioning aid can be a game changer in this area.

A sex position wedge under the receiver’s hips can make their genitals more accessible and make it more comfortable for the giver. That way, you can lick or suck for as long as you like in absolute comfort.

Get Comfy During Masturbation

Do you ever find it difficult to get comfortable in one position while you’re masturbating, particularly during a long session or if it takes you a while to get off? If so, try using your sex position wedge or ramp to experiment with different positions.

Personally, I find reclining on the ramp while using the wedge to prop up my upper back and neck supremely comfy. Your mileage may vary, of course.

Have Sex on the Floor… In Style

Sometimes you just want to get all primal and fuck on the floor… but then find the idea is better in theory than in practice. Carpet burn or hard wooden floors against your knees? No thanks. But get the ramp and wedge out, and suddenly you’ve got a ready made sex couch wherever you want to put it!

Use It as a Toy Mount

If you enjoy grinding toys, a sex position wedge can make an ideal toy mount. I find the wedge works particularly well with my Godemiche Grind Pads and Vibe Pads. Just fasten them to the wedge with the straps provided, position it underneath you, and you’re good to go.

Of course, you can also get creative with all kinds of sex toys. If you can find a way to hold it in place (I recommend those same straps or a length of rope,) the wedge also works brilliantly as a wand mount.

Bonus: Use It For Totally Unsexy Things

Mine is currently propping up a wet mattress in my guest room while it dries out. It’s… a long story.

Thanks to Lovehoney for supplying me with the product featured in this post to share with you all. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post. Product images: Lovehoney.

Why I’m No Longer Using the Term “Fluid Bonding”

Today’s blog topic about why I’m rejecting the term “fluid bonding” was chosen by my patrons over on Patreon! If you’d like to support my work, you can do so for as little as $1 per month. Support at the $3 tier or above, and you’ll get to vote on future content too!

In the decade and a half I’ve been non-monogamous, I’ve had numerous conversations about so-called “fluid bonding.” I’ve negotiated the circumstances under which it is okay, not-okay, and maybe-okay to do it in various relationships. I have discussed the potential risks brought about by myself, my partners, or even my metamours choosing to fluid bond in certain relationships, and how those impacted might protect their sexual health. I’ve had literally hundreds of conversations involving this subject.

And I’m rejecting the term. When I talk about barriers, safer sex practices, and sexual health, I will no longer be using the term “fluid bonding.”

Here’s why.

“Fluid Bonding” is Vague

If you ask ten polyamorous people what “fluid bonding” means, most of them will probably tell you something like “having sex without barriers.” In practice, though, the term “fluid bonding” is far more specific in its widely accepted meaning than that. When most people say it, they are referring to the act of having penetrative penis-in-vagina (or, less commonly, penis-in-anus) sex without a condom.

Under this definition, I have only ever “fluid bonded” with two people in my entire life, including my current nesting partner. But that feels like a ridiculous, reductive, and wildly inaccurate assessment of how I have had sex over the years.

Notice I said most people use the term this way. Not all. And I’ve definitely seen instances where people thought they were on the same page about its meaning, leading to hurt and even feelings of violation and betrayal when it turned out they were not.

When we assume we all use a term in the same way, miscommunications are inevitable. Nowadays, if a partner or prospective partner tell me they’re “fluid bonded” with this or that person, or expresses a desire to fluid bond with me, I’m going to be asking far more questions rather than assuming I know what they mean.

“Fluid Bonding” Makes it Harder to Have Accurate Safer Sex Conversations

Here’s the reality: semen is one bodily fluid, but not the only one. And semen going into a vagina is just one way of sharing bodily fluids in a sexual relationship (and one way you can transmit an STI.)

If you’re having oral sex without a condom, dam, or other barrier, you are exhanging fluids. If you are touching your partner and then yourself with your hands (or touching more than one partner’s genitals in one session) without changing gloves or handwashing in between, you are exchanging fluids. Any kind of kink activity involving blood, such as needle play, is a fluid exchange risk. Hell, even saliva is a bodily fluid. So if we’re getting really technical about it, kissing is a form of fluid exchange (a low risk one, but some STIs can be transmitted in this way.) And that’s before we even get into the fact that for some STIs to spread, skin-to-skin contact is all you need.

I’m not telling you any of this to scare you. Quite the opposite, actually. STIs carry a heavy stigma but most of them are also easily avoidable, treatable, or manageable. I’m telling you this because having the correct information is how we can all make better choices to keep ourselves and our lovers safe and healthy. Regular testing, clear and specific negotiations about barrier use or lack thereof, and knowing the facts is how we do that.

I’ve also seen people, particularly non-monogamy newbies and those not clued up on sexual health, assume that if they are not “fluid bonded” (i.e. having unbarriered intercourse with a penis) with any of their partners, then they are free from any sexual health risk and can eschew testing. The reality is that anyone who is sexually active should be testing at least occasionally, if not regularly.

Continuing to use this term makes it harder to have accurate conversations about sexual health. It perpetuates the idea that penetrative sex with a penis is the only form of sex that carries a risk. This belief is simply inaccurate and frankly dangerous. It prevents people from being fully informed and protecting their sexual health accordingly.

“Fluid Bonding” is Heterocentric and Cissexist

Part of rejecting “fluid bonding” is tied to my broader and long-standing desire to completely decentre penetrative sex with a penis as some kind of pinnacle of sexual experience. Penis-in-vagina intercourse is one type of sex. It’s not “full” sex (look out for my rant on that subject, coming soon to a sex blog near you!) It’s not “real” sex. When we centre it above other activities in our discussions about sex, we are perpetuating cisheteronormativity.

When we talk about “fluid bonding”, we are assuming that one partner in the equation has a penis and the other has a vulva. This may or may not be true. Further, even if this does happen to be the combination of bodies we’re working with, penis-in-vagina (or anus) intercourse may or may not be a part of that couple’s sexual relationship.

This is heterocentric. It is also cissexist. In reality, relationships can include any combination of gender identities and genital types that you can think of. In reality, penetrative sex is a part of some sexual relationships but not all. And any sexual relationship likely involves at least some form of fluid exchange unless you’re covering your entire bodies in latex prior to sex and not kissing.

“Fluid Bonding” is Emotionally Loaded

If having unbarriered sex with your partners is emotionally meaningful to you, I’m not going to tell you it shouldn’t be. I also prefer to have unbarriered sex in situations where it feels safe and comfortable to do so! As I said, I’ve only had unbarriered penis-in-vagina sex with two people in my entire life. This should tell you that I do not, personally, consider it trivial.

However, I think we should be very, very careful about applying emotionally loaded terms to conversations about safer sex.

A relationship with Partner A isn’t less emotionally meaningful than a relationship with Partner B just because you use barriers with one partner and not the other. There are so many reasons you could make this choice. Perhaps one partner has much more casual sex outside of your relationship and using barriers makes you feel safer. Maybe you or one of your partners is trying to get pregnant in one relationship but not another. Perhaps one penis-owning person has had a vasectomy and another hasn’t. So many possible reasons, and none of them are “I love this person more than that person.”

With that said, some people do use so-called fluid bonding as a sign of emotional significance in a relationship. Again, I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t do this. The emotional weight you apply to sexual decisions is highly personal and up to you to negotiate with your partner(s.)

However, I believe the term “fluid bonding” automatically confers this emotional weight, whether or not the people in question believe in or experience it. That feeds into problematic (and often heteronormative and mononormative) assumptions about which sex acts do and don’t carry emotional significance.

Sex without a barrier is not inherently more connective (or “bonding”) than sex with one.

So What Am I Using Instead?

My overall goal in rejecting this term is to get far more accurate and specific in my conversations about sexual health. It might seem useful to have a shorthand but, as we’ve seen, that shorthand is so imprecise as to be functionally useless.

So instead, when negotiating sexual health, I’ll talk about what I am actually doing with whom. How many people am I having sex with? What barriers am I using or not using for which activities? How often and in which circumstances do I have casual sex, and what precautions am I taking when I do? How often do I and my partners test, and what were our most recent results? And so on.

Does it take longer? Sure. Is it a little clunkier? Yes. Can it feel more vulnerable, or even embarrassing, to get so specific? Yes. But it’s a hell of a lot more useful for everyone.

FYI: this post contains affiliate links.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Ring “Pills” and “Tall Waves”

If you missed my previous reviews of the other products in the Godemiche Grind Ring line, you can check them out here, here, here, and here. I just got the latest textures in the range to try out, so I’m back again with yet another review in this ongoing series (and I hope it won’t be the last because I am truly obsessed with these toys.)

As a Quick Reminder, What is a Godemiche Grind Ring?

Godemiche Grind Ring in Pills and Tall Waves textures

Godemiche describes their Grind Rings thus:

The Grind Ring is a soft textured piece of body safe silicone that’s shaped like a pizza slice with a bulge for grinding, dare we say it, it’s also more enjoyable then a pizza slice too and way fucking dirtier.

– Godemiche

Each Godemiche Grind Ring is 6″ long and 4.3″ across at the widest point. The stretchy hole allows for a penis or dildo to fit through. The original intention was for them to be used to provide clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex. And they do work very well for that! However, they’re also really versatile and you can use them in a bunch of different ways. Why not try…

  • Placing your Grind Ring on your desk chair and grinding on it while you read (or write) erotica
  • Putting it underneath you on your bed and moving against it (a pillow, rolled up towel, or sex position wedge can help with the angle here)
  • Using it to add texture to a wand vibrator (like Girl on the Net did here)
  • Using it manually as a sexy addition to hand sex/masturbation
Godemiche Grind Rings in Pills and Tall Waves textures

By far my favourite way to use them, since I know you’re wondering, is the “underneath me on the bed” method. I can have a nice lazy wank without needing to do much other than scroll smut and move my hips. Perfect. I also enjoy the desk chair method sometimes.

With the basics out of the way, let’s look at the new textures.

Pills

Godemiche describe the Pills Grind Ring like this:

The soft pills flick across the clitoris and can also slide down the labia lips for a fuller vulva sensation.

– Godemiche
Godemiche Grind Ring in Pills texture

I really like broad sensations all over my vulva. I think this is one of the reasons I love large wand vibrators so much. So I had high hopes for the Pills Grind Ring and I was not disappointed.

When I wrote about the Tall Pyramids texture, I said that if I just glide my pussy along it, I get a sort of soft tickling sensation. The Pills texture is a little like that, except that you can really grind into it and still get that sensation. If you enjoy a lighter touch, you’ll enjoy this one.

Godemiche Grind Ring in Pills texture

I often reach for the Pills Grind Ring at the start of a session because it’s a great warm-up texture. It’s so gentle that I can even use it when I’m not super wet yet. (I usually get very wet very quickly once I start using it, as you can imagine.) Though I might sometimes switch out for a more intense texture after a while, I can also often make myself cum with this one. It gives a slow-build orgasm, feeling like a tease almost right up to the point of release.

Tall Waves

Way back when I reviewed the initial four Grind Ring textures, I said that the Waves was my favourite. It’s still a toy I absolutely love and return to again and again. Would you believe that, with the Tall Waves texture, Godemiche have taken that concept and made it even better?

Godemiche Grind Ring in Tall Waves texture

The Tall Waves provide a deep, intense sensation when I grind against the Ring. Because they’re placed closely together, it’s a continuous back-and-forth of little silicone tongues flicking against my clit. They’re soft enough to be comfortable, and yet firm enough to be satisfying.

Godemiche Grind Ring Tall Waves

Like its predecessor, the Tall Waves Grind Ring is probably the most reliable of the entire bunch when it comes to making me cum. It’s a great one to move onto if the Pills isn’t giving me quite enough intensity to get me over the edge.

Verdict: Still Fucking Amazing

I still love the absolute fuck out of these toys. They’re innovative (a comparative rarity in this industry), incredibly versatile, and – most importantly – they give me incredible orgasms every single time.

Still totally fucking brilliant.

Grind Rings start from £39.99, with the price increasing slightly for custom colours or 2-colour marbled designs. You can also add a V-plate for £29.99 if you’d like your Grind Ring to vibrate, or add a water-based lube and save 30% on the bundle.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me these toys to review. Links contained in this post are affiliate links and if you use them to make a purchase I make a small commission at no extra cost to you. All views, as ever, are my own.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #21: Sexy Snap Position Cards

Wow, can you believe it’s day 21 already? We’re almost finished with this year’s series of reviews featuring Lovehoney and Womanizer’s Sex Toy Advent Calendar. You can read all the posts here. And don’t forget to use my affiliate links if you decide to make a purchase of this or any other Lovehoney product!

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 21: Sexy Snap Position Cards

sexy snap position cards

Product Info

A set of cards featuring various sex positions, plus instructions for two different games to play with them.

Pros

  • Quite inclusive; many of the positions will work for either vaginal or anal sex with their a bio cock or a strap-on.
  • Fun, playful and non-threatening way to try out new positions.
  • Reminds me of this scene from The Bold Type where Jane, Kat and Sutton test out one of Sage’s sex positions to “verify it’s physically possible.” I’m always happy to be reminded of my favourite show

Cons

  • Some of them require ridiculous core strength, upper body strength, or just indestructible furniture to pull off

Verdict

To be honest, my approach to penetrative sex has typically been “find two or three positions that work and just rotate them depending on mood and energy levels.” I imagine this is fairly normal, especially in long-term sexual relationships. If you’d like to try something new, this game will give you some inspiration. Just don’t be put off by the fact that some of these positions are not going to be physically possible for everyone.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Rings “Pyramids” and “Tall Pyramids”

If you’re anything like me, “spikes” probably isn’t a word you associate with something you want near your genitals. Well, the newest Grind Ring designs from Godemiche, known as “Pyramids” or “Pyramid Spikes” and “Tall Pyramids”, a variation on the popular “Spike” texture, are a happy exception to that generally-sensible rule.

That’s right, I’m back again with another Godemiche Grind Rings review!

In Case You’re New Here…

If you’re new, you may have missed my previous posts, in which I outline what a Grind Ring is and some of the many ways you can use it. Check them out here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. If you’re considering getting one, these reviews will also help you decide which texture is likely to work best for you.

In brief, here’s a description of what they are and how they work:

The Grind Ring is a soft textured piece of body safe silicone that’s shaped like a pizza slice with a bulge for grinding, dare we say it, it’s also more enjoyable then a pizza slice too and way fucking dirtier.

Each Grind Ring measures 6 inches in length and 4.3 inches across at the widest point. They feature a stretchy hole for a penis or dildo to fit through at the base. They’re designed to be used during penetrative sex for additional clitoral stimulation, but they’re actually really versatile and can be used in all sorts of ways, from getting you off while you’re sitting at your desk writing erotica, to changing up hand sex with different textures.

The Two New Textures

I received the new “Pyramid Spikes” and “Tall Pyramid Spikes” textures, which are exactly what they sound like. Here’s what they look like:

Pyramid Spikes and Tall Pyramids Grind Rings from Godemiche

As with all Godemiche products, you can choose from an array of gorgeous colours for your Grind Ring. I asked for purples and greens, and I received the Tall Pyramid Spikes in Winter Berry and the Pyramid Spikes in a mix of Ruby Rose and Garden Party. (As a general rule, Grind Rings are only available in single colours, so I feel very privileged to have received a limited edition one in my two favourite colours!)

The colours have a subtle shimmer and a really lovely swirling effect that you can see on the back:

Back view of Godemiche Grind Rings

Most importantly, though, how did they feel?

Pyramids

Adam from Godemiche says that the Pyramids Grind Ring texture was “inspired by a belt I happened to see someone wearing while out grocery shopping. It reminded me of my own ‘skater boy’ days when none of my trousers fit and I often opted for a studded belt to keep them around my thighs.” If you can’t picture what he means, think something like this.

I expected the Pyramids to feel a lot like the Spikes, but they really don’t. They’re less flexible, and still soft but with an overall firmer texture. I found the sensation from the Pyramids to be quite subtle compared to other designs in the range. I can best describe the feeling as a kind of pressure with some gentle texturing. For a point of comparison, the Pyramids is about on a par with the Bubbles for me, intensity-wise.

I’m unlikely to each orgasm with this one, but it’s a good warm-up texture before moving onto something more intense.

Tall Pyramids

I think the Tall Pyramids might have overtaken the Waves as my favourite Grind Ring texture of all!

The square spikes are noticeably smaller than those on the Spikes ring (see the below picture for comparison). So though that’s probably the closet comparison, they’re really quite different in use.

Godemiche Spikes and Tall Pyramids Grind Rings

The Tall Pyramids are very soft and very flexible. Since they’re so soft, they really don’t feel “pointy” at all.

You can get a range of sensations from the Tall Pyramids Grind Ring. In my experience, if I grind down hard against it, I get an all-over rubbing sensation, whereas if I support some of my weight and just glide my vulva along it, it’s more of a gentle tickle.

I think I like this texture best because you get constant stimulation as the spikes slide along your vulva. The little pyramids feel like dozens of little silicone tongues lapping at and around my clit. As you grind, they flick back and forth, offering both direct clitoral stimulation and all-over vulva pleasure.

Verdict

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: these toys are so genuinely innovative and just so damn good! They’re all very different and, interestingly, I think overall the Pyramids is my least favourite of the six and the Tall Pyramids is my favourite. But all the designs are good, it’s just a matter of individual preferences as to which one will work best for you.

Such a simple idea, so brilliantly executed.

Grind Rings start from £39.99. You can get one hand-made to order in your choice of colour and texture, or grab one off-the-shelf for faster delivery and sometimes a discounted price.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me these Grind Rings in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post and using them sends me a small commission at no additional cost to you.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Ring “Hearts”

Happy Valentine’s Day, loves!

I’m generally not too fussed about Valentine’s Day these days. In non-plague times it’s as good an excuse for a date as any, but I’m not super into the idea of expressing love just because it’s a particular date. I’d rather show my love all year round. With that said, I’ve decided to mark the day in two ways: I’m wearing my “DM Me” heart tights from Snag, and I’m bringing you a review of Godemiche’s new Grind Ring texture, “Hearts”.

What is a Grind Ring and how do you use it?

If you’re new here, you may have missed my previous reviews (part 1 and part 2) of the Grind Ring collection. In Godemiche’s own words:

The Grind Ring is a soft textured piece of body safe silicone that’s shaped like a pizza slice with a bulge for grinding, dare we say it, it’s also more enjoyable then a pizza slice too and way fucking dirtier.

They measure 6 inches in length and 4.3 inches across at the widest point, and feature a stretchy hole for a penis or dildo to fit through at the base.

There are currently six textures available, of which Hearts is the newest addition. I knew I wanted my Hearts Grind Ring in a Valentine’s-themed colour, so I opted for Ruby Rose. It’s a gorgeous and shimmery red/pink, and on the flat back side of the toy you get a beautiful marbling, swirling effect. Here’s what it looks like:

Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring, Valentine's Day sex toy
Back of Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring, Valentine's Day sex toy for women and people with clits

The intended purpose of a Grind Ring is to wear it around the penis or dildo during penetrative sex with someone with a clitoris, so that the receptive partner can grind against it and enjoy additional clitoral stimulation (which, as we know, is essential to reach orgasm for a significant majority of cis women and other people with vulvas).

However, as I’ve discovered, there are numerous other ways to enjoy this toy. While it’s certainly fun to use during P-in-V sex with my partner, I actually mostly use my Grind Rings by placing them on a firm surface (my desk chair is ideal) and grinding against it from a seated position. I also regularly use them as an accessory for hand sex, as that allows me to feel all the lovely texture while having finer control over the pressure and angle. Other good options include using it with a dildo for solo sex, or placing it over the head of a powerful wand vibrator.

As always, the only “right” way to use a toy is the way that feels right for you.

Texture: Hearts

So the Hearts Grind Ring is obviously cute as fuck. But how does it feel in use? I had a feeling I was going to get along well with this one as soon as I saw it, and I wasn’t disappointed. The hearts are sufficiently raised to provide a unique, and moderately intense, sensation. For a point of comparison, I’d describe the Hearts texture as less intense than the Spikes texture but more intense than the Waves or Bumps.

Due to the shape of the hearts, I find this Grind Ring is more intense on the downward motion than on the upward motion. The smooth silicone, coupled with the deeply ridged texture, is divine when paired with tonnes of lube. Of all the Grind Ring textures I’ve now tried, the Hearts is the one that gets me off the most quickly and the most consistently.

I’d recommend this one to people who enjoy firm pressure with their clitoral stimulation. It’s as functional as it is pretty and I’m a little bit in love.

Pro tip: I like to put a little clitoral balm on the toy itself for added intensity.

Verdict

Definitely a toy that’s not just for Valentine’s Day! I just received my Hearts Grind Ring a few days ago and it’s fast becoming an absolute favourite.

You know what else I love about these toys? Apart from the fact that they feel amazing, that is. As far as I can tell, there really isn’t anything else quite like this on the market. Genuine innovation is pretty rare in this industry, where copycat products and occasionally blatant design stealing are rampant. And oftentimes, when a sex toy is original in design, it’s also… kind of terrible. So to come across something that’s both actually innovative and actually good is a breath of fresh air.

The Hearts Grind Ring starts from £39.99. Get one for yourself or your favourite clit owner. You won’t regret it.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me this product to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. Buying through my links helps to keep the blog going at no additional cost to you. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Ring “Waves” and “Bumps”

This is the second part of a two-part series on the Godemiche Grind Ring! You can read part 1 here.

In the first part of this series, I decribed the Godemiche Grind Ring as a “revelation in sensation”. Having now tried the other two textures in the range – known as “waves” and “bumps” – I’m standing by that assessment and excited to gush even more about how much I love these genuinely amazing toys.

So What is a Grind Ring, Again?

A Grind Ring is a piece of silicone shaped a bit like a pizza slice, designed to fit around the penis or dildo during penetrative sex and provide extra external stimulation to a person with a clitoris. Each Grind Ring has a raised bulge and one of four textures. It can also be used in a whole bunch of other ways: combine it with a vibrator, put it on a sex position wedge or pillow and grind against it, or use it as an accompaniment to hand sex. Or, you know, whatever other creative ideas you can come up with!

Grind Rings are body-safe and easy to clean with soap and water (or a pot of boiling water).

The Toy for Smut Writers (and Readers!)

Are you a smutty writer? Do you, like me, sometimes find yourself getting turned on by your own words? Or do you just enjoy sitting at your desk and reading filthy words? If so, consider putting the Grind Ring on your desk chair and grinding against it as you read/write. The firm surface helps to keep it in place and provide some delicious pressure. I just discovered this possibility a few days ago and I can’t get enough of it. Thank goodness I finally have curtains back up in my office…

With that said, let’s look at the two remaining Grind Ring textures that I haven’t yet talked about: “Waves” and “Bumps”.

Godemiche Grind Ring silicone sex toy in Bubbles and Waves
Feat. “Bumps” in Aquamarine and “Waves” in Pastel Pearlescent Green

Texture 3: “Waves”

Just this morning, I told Mr CK I was writing up this review, and he asked me which of the Grind Ring designs I liked best overall. After thinking about it for a moment, I declared Waves my favourite.

Godemiche Waves Grind Ring clitoral sex toy

The Waves ring was also perhaps the biggest surprise. After feeling how soft the silicone ripples are, I wasn’t sure how much I’d be able to feel them. But when I ground against them, especially when they had a firm surface underneath, they felt like a series of continuous licks from little silicone tongues. Since the waves are so close together and flex as you rub against them, it’s a continuous sensation.

If I’m aroused and using plenty of lube, I can orgasm easily just by grinding my clit into the Waves Grind Ring.

Texture 4: “Bumps”

The Bumps Grind Ring is the perfect middle ground when I want something more intense than the Bubbles but less intense than the Spikes. The bumps are quite small and quite close together so whichever way I move against them, several of them are always making contact with my clit from various angles.

Godemiche Bumps Grind Ring sex toy for clit

I like to use the Bumps ring before moving on to the Waves or Spikes. It’s just the right level of intensity for a hot warmup. With that said, I could probably come on it with some perseverance and a little time. I’ll have to try – you know, for science.

Verdict

Now that I’ve tried out all four Grind Ring textures, I’m even more impressed and maybe even a little obsessed. They’re amazingly versatile and a brilliant way to experiment with different sensations to see what works for you.

If you have a clitoris, I can’t recommend Grind Rings highly enough. If you’ve tried them, which texture was your favourite?

Grind Rings start from £39.99 each.

Also: there’s a new texture out! “Pyramid Spikes” has just hit the Godemiche website. If I can get hold of one, I’ll report back with a review. Stay tuned…

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me four Grind Rings in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post and if you use them, I make a small commission. All commissions help me to keep C&K going!

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Ring “Bubbles” and “Spikes”

This is the first post in a two-part series. Since the Grind Rings come in four different textures (and I hear there may be others in the works), I decided to review them in two sets of two rather than one epic post.

In their Twitter bio, Godemiche – the UK toy company made up of powerhouse married duo Adam and Monika – state that their goal is “not to break the mold, but recolour it.” I firmly believe that their Ambit is the most perfect dildo I have ever encountered, and their array of body-safe dildos, plugs, strokers, and gags are available in a dizzying array of colours and combinations. But despite this stated aim, their latest product, the Grind Ring, really does break a few molds.

In a world of endless knock-offs and derivatives, it is so refreshing when I see sex toy designers doing something genuinely new and innovative. And I have never come across anything quite like the Grind Ring before.

But what is a Grind Ring, how does it work, and – most importantly – is it good?

What is the Godemiche Grind Ring?

The Grind Ring is a toy (or actually a series of toys) designed for folks who enjoy clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex.

Godemiche describe it thus: The Grind Ring is a soft textured piece of body safe silicone that’s shaped like a pizza slice with a bulge for grinding, dare we say it, it’s also more enjoyable then a pizza slice too and way fucking dirtier.

And yeah, that’s a pretty perfect description. Here’s what they look like:

Two Godemiche Grind Ring silicone sex toys

Since I typically default to getting everything in purple when I’m choosing sex toys, I decided to go for something a bit different this time. Pictured above are the Bubbles ring in Reefs Water, and the Spikes ring in Dragon’s Breath. The colours are as gorgeously vibrant as ever, and the silicone has this lovely marbled swirly effect that’s just so, so pretty:

Back of Godemiche Grind Ring clitoral stimulators showing pretty marbled silicone pattern

So How Does it Work?

Like the dutiful sex toy testers we are, my partner Mr CK and I initially tested the Grind Ring in the way it was intended to be used. After trying a few different positions, we concluded that by far the most effective way to use this toy was the me-on-top position. This meant I could effectively grind my vulva against the textured surface while he was inside me.

It also worked pretty well in the him-on-top position. Basically, any position that involves a lot of close, face-to-face bodily contact is probably going to work well. When we tried having sex with him standing and me lying on my back on the bed, this presented the opportunity for him to use his hand to stimulate my clit with the ring, which was also extremely fucking hot.

Since most people with vulvas need sustained clitoral stimulation to orgasm, Grind Rings are a great way to achieve that during penetrative sex (if you want to) and to experiment with different textures. While using a Grind Ring did not give me a clitoral orgasm during sex, it did up the intensity and add a whole bunch of additional hotness and pleasure to the experience.

Other Ways to Use the Grind Ring

The fun thing about sex toys is that you don’t have to just use them in the way they were originally designed to be used. Wand vibrators on penises or clitoral suckers on nipples, anyone?

The Grind Ring is no different. Girl on the Net posted a brilliant piece about using it “wrong” (there’s obviously no such thing!) and I was inspired to try her “textured Doxy wank” idea. And oof, yes, this is highly, highly recommended. I’ve also found that using the Grind Rings as an addition to hand sex, either solo or partnered, is fucking excellent. One of these and plenty of lube between my/my partner’s hand and my vulva is currently one of my favourite ways to get off.

Another option is to place the Grind Ring over a suitable firm surface, such as a couch arm, sex position wedge, or particularly firm pillow, and grind on it that way.

And don’t forget, of course, that if you or your partner don’t have a penis you can also use the Grind Ring with any dildo or strap-on.

Godemiche Ambit with Spikes Grind Ring
Feat. the Godemiche Bi Pride Ambit

Texture 1: Bubbles

The Bubbles Grind Ring looks like this:

Godemiche Grind Ring silicone clitoral stimulator in Bubbles

This was actually the first one we tried as an addition to penetrative sex. I wasn’t sure the texture would be noticeable enough to do anything but it really, really is.

Out of all the Grind Ring textures, Bubbles is by far my favourite as an addition to hand sex. It’s textured enough to offer something distinctive and different, but not so intense as to be too much. The smoothness, when coupled with plenty of lube, is divine when I or my partner rub it across my clitoral hood.

Texture 2: Spikes

The Spikes Grind Ring looks like this:

Godemiche Grind Ring clitoral stimulator in Spikes

My first thought when I saw this texture was “eek”. I know silicone is pretty soft, but even so, this looked like it might be too intense for my sensitive clit.

And it is… sometimes.

I have to be in a specific mood for the Spikes Grind Ring. And that mood is “extremely horny” and “in the mood for something so intense it’s almost too much”. It’s not painful, as the silicone is indeed very soft and squishy. It’s just… a lot. Of course, if you do find it painful, you could use it to indulge in a little consensual clitoral pain play if you like that sort of thing.

I did discover one absolutely amazing way to use this ring. If I lay it across my vulva and use a powerful vibrator over the top of it, the tips of the spikes transmit the vibrations in VERY interesting ways. You’re welcome!

Verdict

These things are a revelation in sensation, particularly the Bubbles ring. They’re effective for their intended purpose but also super versatile if you get a little creative.

Godemiche Grind Rings start from £39.99 each and are hand-made to order in whatever combination of colour and texture you choose. Stay tuned for part 2 – “Waves” and “Bumps” – coming very soon!

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me these products in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. If you use them to make a purchase, I’ll make a small commission at no extra cost to you. All commissions help fund C&K’s continued existence and keep me well-stocked with coffee!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #23: Sex Position Cards

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

It’s the penultimate day of my foray into the Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar. After yesterday’s “aaaaahhhhh”-inducing offering, I was hoping that Day 23 might show a little more promise.

Let’s open it up and find out.

Door #23: Sex Position Cards

Door #23 contains a set of sex position cards. There are 26 cards in total, with positions ranked “easy”, “medium”, or “difficult”. I think those rankings might be largely subjective, as all our bodies have their own strengths and weaknesses. But okay, I’ll run with it.

The deck begins with a card offering some safety tips. They’re pretty 101-level, which makes sense since this set is really aimed at beginners, but they’re solid: never leave a bound person alone, don’t tie someone too tightly, stop if something hurts, use a safeword, agree boundaries before you play. Cool. That’s basically the Safety & Consent 101 I’d want to give a complete beginner.

Sex position cards safety and instructions

Each position has a name, many of which are punny or otherwise amusing. (The Thigh’s The Limit, Clitar Hero, and Deep G Diving are a few highlights). Each card contains a picture of how to do the position, and a short description of why it’s fun or how to make it hotter. You also get a handy list of which types of stimulation the position is best for (clitoral, G-spot, penis, balls, etc.) and suggested toys or implements to use.

Sex position cards with easy sex positions
Sex position cards with medium difficulty sex position ideas
Sex position cards with difficult sex positions ideas

I have not, of course, tried every single position on these cards. Some of them are fairly basic positions with quirky names (“The Elevator” is just someone on their knees giving their partner oral sex) while others are somewhere between “why?” and “likely to be physiologically impossible unless one of you is a size four and the other is a gym-bunny.” But for gaining ideas and inspiration, they’re perfectly fine.

For some reason, I’m now thinking about this scene from The Bold Type where Jane, Kat and Sutton test out one of Sage’s sex positions to “verify it’s physically possible.”

The Best Sex of Your Life adult advent calendar is a limited-edition product and retails for £120. Use my affiliate code “coffkink10” at checkout to get 10% off this or any other Lovehoney order! If you’re inspired to try more creative positions, the Position of the Week sex position cards retail for £9.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

[Book Review] “Position of the Week” from Lovehoney

Happy Friday, friends! And welcome to day 4 of #12DaysofLovehoney, where I am bringing you a new product review every single day. Check out the whole series. Today we’ve got something a bit different. Instead of a toy, we’re looking at the Position of the Week book from Lovehoney.

What is Position of the Week?

Position of the Week is a book of 52 sex positions (the idea being that there’s one for each day of the week – “52 positions for a year of pleasure,” as the cover says.) It’s a pocket-sized hardback book.

Position of the Week book

Each double-page spread includes a silhouette-style drawing of a couple having sex in the given position on the left page. The right page gives the position number, name, and a brief description.

Who is it for?

I have to be upfront: this book is very, very heterosexual.

Every position is designed with a cisgender male/female couple having penetrative (penis-in-vagina) sex in mind. The illustrations even feature a woman drawn in pink and a man drawn in blue. There’s also a lot of gendered language throughout (“he does X, she does Y”, “girl power”, and so on.)

Seriously, it’s so freaking straight I can feel my bisexuality leaking out all over its pages.

Pages from the Position of the Week book

Now, a lot of the positions in this book would actually work for different body and genital configurations. Many of the positions would work just as well for two vulva owners using a strap-on, or for anal sex with any configuration of bodies.

So queer and trans folks absolutely could use it. But the language and the whole aesthetic is so cishetero that it’s likely to feel alienating. I feel pretty put off by it and I’m a cis woman in a relationship with a cis man (though I am not straight.)

So yeah. This is a book for cishetero couples who have p-in-v sex. Let’s go with that.

Consent disclaimer = yay!

On the 3rd page, after the welcome but before the positions start, you get a little consent disclaimer. This states that you should talk before trying something new, that everything must be 100% consensual, and that you should stop if anything hurts or is uncomfortable.

It’s pretty much Consent 101 summed up in 33 words. But you know what? I’m here for it. Because fundamentally, this book isn’t for people like me – sex nerds who engage in non-traditional relationships and have long and nuanced conversations about sexuality out of academic as well as personal interest. This book is for people who are likely newer to sexual experimentation – many of whom might understand that consent is important, but not have a sophisticated understanding of exactly what that means or how to talk about it.

Basically, what Lovehoney have done with this little one-pager helps to normalise and demystify consent conversations. And I’m very here for that.

So what about the actual positions?

A lot of them are pretty good! We have some obvious-but-decent choices (doggy style, sit-down sex, spooning) and some creative interpretations on classics like reverse cowgirl and standing sex.

Others were definitely created for the athletically-inclined. No. 30 (“the Can-Can”) requires the vulva-owning partner to be able to get their foot on their partner’s shoulder while standing. That is… simply not going to be possible for a huge number of bodies, including mine!

Pages from the Position of the Week book

Positions like the “Standing Thrust” and “Up Against It” require the penetrating partner to be able to support most or all of their partner’s weight while thrusting. Again: just not going to happen. And I’m going to go ahead and call No. 47 (“the Raunchy Rider”) physiologically impossible for 99% of people.

Pages from the Position of the Week book

This book clearly assumes that women are tiny, petite, and flexible, while men are muscular and strong. If that’s not you, it can lead to some pretty negative body feelings.

On the plus side, a number of the position descriptions reference clitoral stimulation, which the vast majority of people with vulvas need in order to get off. So that’s something.

So do I recommend it?

Meh.

If you’re cis, heterosexual, skinny/strong, and athletic, you’ll probably get something from it. Otherwise, you might find a few interesting position ideas but largely be left thinking “…yaeah but my body doesn’t work that way.”

Position of the Week retails for £6.99 from Lovehoney ($8.99 US). A fun stocking-stuffer if you’re within the very specific demographic it caters to! Otherwise, don’t bother.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this and all toy review posts. Want to support the blog? Buying me a coffee is a great way to do that!