[Toy Review] Desire Luxury Rechargeable Magic Wand

Hey everyone! So I’m trying a new way of writing toy reviews. My previous format worked well for a while, but I want to change things up a bit. So let me know how this works for you, ‘kay?

This review isn’t actually the primary purpose I requested this toy. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be creating a biiiiig guide to all the wand vibes currently on the market that I’ve tried. However, I need to wait for my Original Hitachi to ship from the US, so I’m sitting on it until then. In the meantime, my friends at Lovehoney sent me this one to feature and I couldn’t wait to try it out.

The Lovehoney Desire Wand, a large purple magic wand style vibrator.Desire is Lovehoney’s luxury own-brand toy range. I’ve tried a couple of their products before and am generally a fan. I’m so pleased to have finally got my paws on this particular item, because you all know that I am a big ol’ Wand Queen.

“The design delivers on the luxury promised by the line’s name.”

The Desire Luxury Rechargeable Magic Wand arrived in Lovehoney’s standard discreet packaging (plain brown box). Inside, the toy is presented in an attractive box with the Desire branding and colours – black and purple. I was super impressed to see that this wand comes with its own storage case, a sleek and discreet black zip-up in faux leather and with a little hole through which to stick the charger to plug the toy in. Major points for presentation and for including a case.

The toy itself is hefty – 13.5 inches long and with a fair bit of weight to it. For comparison, it’s lighter than the Doxy Die Cast, but a fair bit heavier than the Original. If weighty toys are difficult for you, you might want to give this one a miss – or invest in a wand mount such as those offered by Liberator.

The Desire Wand is mains-rechargeable with a charging time and constant-use time of about 180 minutes each. Being mains chargeable, it is NOT waterproof, so take care when cleaning it and don’t use it in wet environments like the bathroom.

The design is gorgeous. This toy is in my absolute favourite shade of purple, and decorated with the signature Lovehoney heart logo. The head is lovely, smooth matte silicone, which is body-safe, odorless and silky soft on the skin. The design really does deliver on the luxury promised by the line’s name.

The Desire line of toys are on the pricier end for own-brand products, and this wand is the most expensive of the bunch with a RRP of £99.99. However, based on the ones I’ve tried, it’s also far and away my favourite toy in the range. £100 isn’t an outrageous price for a really good toy and I’m happy to say this is value for money if you can afford it. At time of writing (March 2018) it’s also on a massive half-price sale, so grab one now for an absolute bargain.

Pro tip: wand vibes are designed for clitoral use, but they’re great for dicks too!

The user interface is simple – a “on/speed up” button, a “off/speed down” button, and a “change pattern” button. The Desire Wand boasts a massive 20 different patterns, each of which can be used on 5 different levels of intensity. Those who have read my work for any length of time know I’m not really a fan of patterns. I tried a few of them out, and they were okay… but I much (much!) prefer constant vibrations. If you’re a pattern fan, though, then this might be the wand for you. Annoyingly, you can only scroll one way through the pattern settings. So if you find one you like then click away from it, you need to hit the button another 20 or so times to get back to it.

Safer sex wise, the smooth silicone head is easy to sterilise with a body-safe medical wipe, which is my recommendation for any toy you can’t submerge in water to clean. The wand shape is condom-compatible if you’re using it on multiple partners without sterilising in between.

“Absolutely, far and away, the most powerful rechargeable vibe I have ever used.”

Arguably the most important single factor of any toy for me is its level of power. The power offered by the Desire wand is pretty impressive and, for me, falls about half way along the rumble/buzz spectrum. Less rumbly than I would ideally like, especially on the top setting, but nowhere near buzzy enough to cause me numbness or itching. I came really easily, twice in a row, with this toy on the top setting. It is absolutely, far and away, the most powerful rechargeable vibe I have ever used – for that, I cannot fault it in the least. Go get yours!

Verdict: ★★★★★

Recommended for: power Queens, anyone after a rechargeable alternative to mains-powered wands, pattern lovers.

This post contains affiliate links. Buying toys from Lovehoney or my other affiliates in the right-hand sidebar sends a small commission my way and helps me keep doing this work. All opinions are, and will always be, my own.

Images are property of Lovehoney and used with permission.

[Toy Review] B.O.B. Pink Allure Wand

Anyone who knows me knows that I love wands. I’m pretty much obsessed with them. No other toys hit my sweet spots in quite the same way. So I was pretty excited when TooTimid offered me the Pink BOB Allure Wand to review.

I’ve got to be completely upfront and state that I hate this manufacturer name with a vengeance. BOB stands for Battery Operated Boyfriend and this just upsets me on a ridiculous number of levels. Say it with me now: toys are not replacements for partners! Sex toys and partners occupy completely different spaces and functions in one’s life!

The Pink BOB Allure Wand, a pink wand style vibrator.That said, how did the Allure Wand actually stack up?

My first impression of the Allure Wand when I took it out of the packaging is that it’s really, really light. Like, ridiculously so for its size. This is a really big plus point and means it might be a manageable wand for those who find the heavier models too cumbersome.

The Allure Wand is mains powered and the cord is a massive 9ft long. It’s about 12″ long and the classic shape first popularised by the legendary Hitachi. It boasts 20 different speeds and pattern settings.

In use, I found it enjoyable. Less intense than some wands – it certainly doesn’t match my beloved Doxy in power! – but I can get off with it quickly and reliably if I ramp it up to the top setting. The noise level is reasonable – wands are never going to be silent toys, but my partner couldn’t hear it through the floor the way he can with some toys! The vibrations have a nice rumble at the lower speeds. Turned up higher, they get a bit more buzzy, but I didn’t personally find them numbing or uncomfortable. I did notice the head got a little warm after about 30 minutes of continuous use, so you might want to bear this in mind if you like to use your wands for long periods of time without a break.

I didn’t have to struggle to get off with this one! And for that, it is to be commended.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The Allure Wand retails for $69.95 at TooTimid, which is about £50. This is a noticeably lower price point than many of the “big name” wands and thus makes it a good option for those on a budget.

Materials: ★★★★
The head is made of silicone, which is body-safe. It’s not the softest or smoothest in the world, but I don’t expect luxury at this price point and I have no significant complaints. The body is ABS plastic.

Appearance: ★★★★
You all know how I feel about pink! (Spoiler: I don’t love it). However, the Allure Wand is actually less obnoxiously pink in real life than it looks on the pictures. The real colour is slightly darker and less in-your-face. Other than that, it looks like a classic wand.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
Again: this wand is ridiculously light for the size and level of power, which is one of the things I really love about it. It’s mains powered, so needs to be plugged in to use, but the 9ft cord makes this easy – even if your socket is on the other side of the bedroom, it’s got you covered.

It operates on a simple two-button interface. One button turns the toy on and off and changes the pattern, while the other adjusts the speed. It does have that annoying problem of SO MANY toys, wherein you can’t change down a speed or go back to the previous pattern without cycling allllll the way through. Seriously, when are manufacturers going to figure this out?

On the plus side, the buttons are intuitively placed, press easily, and make a nice satisfying “click”. The flexible neck is also a nice touch and, for me, enabled more precise placement to the right spot.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The silicone head makes clean-up relatively easy, though I am always a bit wary when it comes to cleaning mains-powered toys as they can’t be submerged in water. It’s best to clean them with a sterile wipe – I like to use the ones you can buy in bulk from a medical supply store. There is a seam around the head which could trap bacteria, so be extra thorough when cleaning that area. For toys like this, I always advise popping a condom over it if you’re going to share with a non fluid-bonded partner.

Versatility: ★★★★★
There are so many settings! I love how you can use any of the patterns with any of the different speed settings, so the combinations are endless. It’s designed for clits, but would work very nicely for dicks too!

I was pretty impressed on this score! A lot of cheaper wands are really lacking in the power department. Though it isn’t a match for some of the more high-end wands on the market, it’s got a really good level of power that will keep all but the most power-loving clits happy. I can get off with it reliably.

Overall Score: ★★★★
I’m more impressed than I expected to be by this one! I was worried I’d be really disappointed given my high standards for wands and the price point, but I enjoyed using this one and my issues with it are pretty minor.

It probably won’t last as long as a higher end wand (the last one I had at this price point lasted about two years) but as far as I can tell, it’s a decent choice for a first wand or if you’re on a budget.

Thanks to the folks at TooTimid for commissioning this review! All views are, and will always be, my own. Image is property of TooTimid. 

[Toy Review] Je Joue MiMi

If you’ve been reading my reviews for any amount of time, you will understand that I am a power queen. It’s really hard for a toy to score well with me on intensity/power level, because, well… my clit thinks vibrations can go big or fuck off.

I’ve heard Je Joue’s line of toys referenced on multiple occasions as being good picks for power fans, but this is the first time I’ve got to try one out for myself. My new friends at The Pleasure Garden shop generously sent me one to review.

The Je Joue MiMi, a small pink pebble shaped clitoral vibrator, shown from the front and side.As soon as I turned it on in the palm of my hand, I knew I was going to be impressed with this toy. Even on the lowest setting, the vibrations are deep and rumbly. But first, let’s take a look at some facts.

The Je Joue MiMi is a small (8.2 x 5cm) pebble-shaped silicone clitoral vibrator. It’s rechargeable via a magnetic USB cable, so you can plug it in to either the wall or your computer to charge. It has 5 vibration patterns and 5 levels of intensity, starting with that low rumble I mentioned and building up to some impressively powerful higher settings.

The MiMi came beautifully packaged in a classy purple box. Inside that is another black box which doubles up as ideal storage for the toy. Top marks for presentation.

But how did it function?

I tried out this baby during some sleepy afternoon sex with Mr CK. I was ready for a good hard clitoral orgasm, so of course – because he’s an evil bastard – he made me put the toy on my clit on the lowest setting, knowing that wouldn’t be enough to get me off. And it wasn’t, but… it was pretty damn effective at warming me up and getting me closer to the edge.

By the time he finally relented and allowed me to turn it on full, it took me less than a minute to come really hard. That’s no easy feat for me, even when I’m really horny. That’s testament to how good this toy is!

Another thing you’ll know if you’ve been reading my work for any length of time is that I don’t like vibration patterns. I find them offputting and annoying at worst, and “meh” at best in 95% of cases. The patterns the MiMi offers are better than some, but still not really for me. The constant vibration setting, though, I really can’t fault.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The MiMi retails for £65. This price point will make it inaccessible to some, but it’s also much better than many even higher-priced toys I’ve tried. Really good value for money if you can afford it (and comes with a 1 year warranty.)

Materials: ★★★★★
The entire toy is lovely matte silicone, which is beautifully soft to the touch as well as non-porous and body safe.

Appearance: ★★★★
I don’t love that it’s pink – but that’s a matter of personal preference. It’s at least a nice rich pink, not that horrible neon colour of some cheap toys. It does also come in lilac, purple and black if one of those colours is more your style.

In its favour, it’s really small and cute. Pleasure Garden describe it as “shaped like a smooth river pebble,” which is pretty accurate.

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
Did I mention this toy is tiny? I have really small hands and it still sat neatly in my palm. It’s VERY light, too – only 78g. This means the vast majority of people won’t have any trouble holding and using it.

The interface is intuitive – three buttons: on/up, off/down, and change pattern. I like that you can cycle through the speeds really easily. The only disavantage I can find is that the buttons are so small that you need to look closely to make sure you’re pressing the right one. They press easily and make a satisfying “click”. With the toy being so small, it’s easy to operate the buttons during use without breaking your flow or moving positions.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
The MiMi is smooth silicone and is waterproof, which makes clean-up a breeze. You can wipe it with a sterile medical wipe, or use warm water for a more thorough cleaning. You could pop it into a condom or use with another barrier if you’re sharing it between partners without sterilising. As ever, water-based lube is recommended.

Versatility: ★★★★★
The MiMi has 5 patterns and 5 different speeds to mix and match, making for a really customisable vibe. It’s also waterproof, so you can use it in the bath or shower too. One of the things I love about Pleasure Garden is that they don’t gender the marketing of their toys – and quite correctly point out that though this toy is designed for clits, it will also work really well for dicks, perineums, nipples… or even backs!

I’m really, really impressed on this score. The only other toy I’ve tried that comes close in terms of vibration strength against small size is the We-Vibe Tango (another long-time favourite!) It is rare I can orgasm in less than a minute from something that fits in the palm of my hand. A perfect little powerhouse.

Overall Score: ★★★★★
It’s a five out of five from me, because the downsides are few but the pros are many. If you have a clitoris, or any body part, that likes strong and rumbly vibrations, I don’t hesitate to recommend the MiMi.

Thank you to the lovely folks at The Pleasure Garden for sending me the MiMi to review. Buying toys from them supports a small, ethical, feminist business – which is something we all need more of in the world! – and also supports the blog as I receive a small commission through my affiliate links. This doesn’t affect my views on the product which are, and will always be, my own.

Image is property of The Pleasure Garden and reproduced here with permission.

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration

Spoiler: in my eyes (and cunt) at least, this toy is pretty dang close to perfection.

Hello darlings! It’s time for another installment of “Amy puts things on her junk and then writes about it,” AKA a sex toy review.

After a rocky start with the original Pro 2, I’m now a big fan of Satisfyer’s products. I wasn’t sure they could top what they’ve already done with the newest line, but I was ready to be surprised… and surprised I was. You may remember their G Spot Rabbit, which I reviewed recently. Well, now it’s time for the next new offering: the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration.#

The Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration, a white banana shaped sex toy with rose-gold accents.

The Pro Plus Vibration boasts the Satisfyer suction wave stimulation we know and love… but with this iteration, they’ve added vibrations into the mix. And ohhhhh godddddd, y’all. I love it. I love it so much.

Before I gush too much, let’s take a closer look…

The Pro Plus Vibration is a curved toy, shaped a bit like a banana and about 6 inches long. It has 11 suction intensity settings as well as 10 vibration settings (3 constant speeds and 7 patterns). These are controlled independently with two separate buttons.

It works by creating a kind of vacuum around the clitoris with a silicone nozzle, and stimulating it via rapid pulses of air. The difference with this version is that the nozzle also vibrates.

The Pro Plus Vibration is fully waterproof and uses a magnetic USB charger.  It is unfortunately a little loud, but my partner said he couldn’t hear it from the next room when the door was closed.

Okay. Can I gush now?

The first thing to note is that this latest offering from Satisfyer brought me to orgasm much quicker than any of their previous lines. Yes, the vibration really does make that much difference.

I don’t think my clit has ever been quite so happy in my life, except possibly the first time I introduced it to the Doxy. I came so hard I’m pretty sure I woke the neighbours.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The Pro Plus Vibration retails for £79.99 at full price, which is in line with the rest of Satisfyer’s range. Despite the slightly higher price point, they’re great value for money and come with a 10-year manufacturer’s warranty for peace of mind.

Materials: ★★★★★
The whole toy is coated in smooth, silky silicone, which is both body-safe and lovely to the touch. The accents are plastic.

Appearance: ★★★★★
I love the white-with-rose-gold-accents aesthetic of the new Satisfyer line. They’re minimalistic and classy, as well as standing out by virtue of being so unusual. This one REALLY reminds me of a medical device, even more than the last one did, which… yeah, I have some Kink Feelings about that.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
The “banana” shape is really ergonomic and fit neatly into my (tiny) hand. The buttons are super easy to press and the controls intuitive – you control the pressure waves with the main up/down button, and the vibrations with a separate smaller button. My only complaint here is that you can only cycle one way through the vibration settings. This isn’t a huge problem for me as I’m a “put it on high and leave it there” kind of girl, but it’s something to be aware of.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★
The Pro Plus Vibration is silicone and waterproof, so you can wipe it down with a sterile wipe (I recommend buying from medical suppliers) or submerge it in water to clean it thoroughly. The silicone nozzle tip also detaches from the part with the motor, so you could boil this piece separately to sterilise it completely.

Previous Satisfyer lines such as the Pro 2 have included spare nozzles, and I do wish they also put these in with the newer products. Being able to swap out nozzles would be a real plus in the safer sex department.  As with all suction toys, it’s not really possible to use them with a barrier.

Versatility: ★★★★★
The Pro Plus Vibration has 10 different vibration settings and 11 suction settings, which you can control independently of each other. It’s also waterproof, in case using toys in the bath is your jam.

Full disclosure: if this toy was only a vibrator, I might give it 3 stars for intensity. The vibrations alone aren’t super strong and are a little on the buzzy side on the higher settings. But the vibration is secondary to the suction stimulation, and is just the right level of intensity to be a nice add-on without distracting from the main event. The suction itself is the most intense I’ve yet experienced on any Satisfyer toy, and made my clit very happy indeed.

Overall Score: ★★★★★
Despite some very small flaws, I’m giving this toy five out of five because it just gave me one of the best damn orgasms I’ve had in a really long time.

Thanks to the folks at Satisfyer for sending me their new products in exchange for an honest review! Please support me by buying yours from Lovehoney or SheVibe with one of the affiliate links in this post. Image is property of Satisfyer and reproduced with permission.

[Wearable Review] Xenia Frame Set by Twisted Lingerie

It’s happened, you guys. I am apparently a lingerie person now! It took me a while to get there, but I think I am learning the delights of dressing up (or down, as the case may be) in sexy garments and tapping into my inner sex-kitten.

A thin white model wearing a black strappy lingerie set and nipple pasties.

That’s why I was delighted when Sophie from Twisted Lingerie approached me to work with me. I already wrote a sponsored post for them last week, and they were kind enough to also offer me a set from their gorgeous bondage-inspired range to review. After much deliberation, and with some input from Mr CK, I chose the Xenia Frame set, pictured left.

A package wrapped in pink tissue and sealed with a 'Twisted Lingerie' sticker, and a note which says "Amy, can't wait to read the review. Sophie."


The set came discreetly packaged in a plain black box with no indication what was inside. (Which is good, because we were away on holiday and my mother-in-law intercepted the package)! Inside, the garments were beautifully wrapped in pink tissue paper, sealed with a ‘Twisted Lingerie’ sticker, and even with a lovely note from owner Sophie. Full marks for presentation! But how did the set itself shape up?

My first reaction, I admit, was “shit, how do I get into this?” But when you pause and look closely, it’s actually pretty simple to work out which bits go where!

What came next was a big surprise: I looked in the mirror and went “whoa! Well… hello!” at myself. Suffice to say I do not look like the gorgeous model on Twisted’s site, and I approached this style of lingerie with some trepidation, being a curvy girl with all my boy-hair intact. But as soon as I put it on and looked in the mirror, my inner confidence-meter hit the ceiling.

I love the way the bra frames and accentuates my breasts – which I have long considered one (two?) of my best feature(s). I love the way the straps cross over the butt (which to me is like a “spank here!” X-marks-the-spot). But most of all, I love how this shows off every inch of my curves. There’s no sucking in or hiding away here. It’s pure showing-off, “here is my everything framed for your viewing pleasure and fuck you if you don’t like it”.

This is power lingerie.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
The Frame set is the cheapest in Twisted’s range of nine sets (you can also buy bras, knickers and suspenders as separates). It retails at the extraordinarily reasonable price of £35. (I should mention that the nipple pasties pictured on the model are NOT included with the set. This is made clear on the site.) Other sets range from £38 up to £79.

Appearance: ★★★★★
I adore everything in Twisted’s catalogue. I was super excited as soon as I started browsing when Sophie approached me. The aesthetic across this whole range is bondage-inspired, which I just find ridiculously hot, and it was the elegant-yet-sexy simplicity of the Frame set that drew me to it.

Materials: ★★★★
Well, there isn’t a lot of it, but that’s the idea! The pieces are made of a polyamide/elastane blend, which feels comfortable against the skin and has just the right amount of stretch.

Fit: ★★★★★
The pieces are true to size. I ordered a medium, which is listed as being equivalent to a UK 12-14, and it fits me beautifully at my current size 14. What I really love is that these garments are SUPER adjustable – more or less every single strap can be adjusted. This means if you lose or gain weight, you’re not going to size out of your item unless it’s a huge change. I could probably go up or down a dress-size and this set could be adjusted comfortably to fit. Also, what’s really cool is that even though it’s a set, you can order the two pieces in different sizes if necessary. So if you need large knickers but a medium bra? No problem, Twisted’s got you covered.

Overall Score: ★★★★★
The only complaint I have is that it’s too long until my next visit to the club! I want to wear this and smooch and fuck some hot babes, because it just makes me feel so damned sexy.

Do you agree? 😉

Thanks to Sophie at Twisted Lingerie for sponsoring last week’s post and for sending me this piece to review. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Go buy your lingerie from Twisted, because they make gorgeous things and we should be supporting women’s small businesses.

Picture of model in lingerie is property of Twisted Lingerie and reproduced here with their permission. Other images are by me and must not be used without my express say-so.


[Book Review] “Buzz: The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy” by Hallie Lieberman

Image result for two and a half stars

I was beyond excited when I saw that there was a history book all about sex toys! Credit goes entirely to the fabulous Sarah Brynn Holliday (read her work, she’s great) for bringing this book to my attention. I still don’t really understand how there wasn’t any buzz (pun entirely intended and I’m not sorry) about it in the online sex positive sphere. It seems to have almost slipped under our collective radar, somehow.

The cover of "Buzz: A Stimulating History of the Sex Toy" by Hallie Lieberman

I read this book on holiday over the course of a few days. My overwhelming impression was one of being, well… underwhelmed. I wanted to love it, and I felt it was full of promise, but the finished result didn’t quite hit the sweet spot. (Yes, that was another sex toy joke.)

Firstly, let’s talk about what I did love…

I found Buzz a really accessible read. The tone is lively and the pacing and structure good. The language is not overly academic, and the 15 chapters break the book nicely into bite-sized pieces.

I did learn some gems of fascinating information. Like, did you know that the first silicone dildos were designed and made by a disabled Caribbean immigrant, who was heavily involved in the disability rights movement and set out initially to make sex aids for disabled people? Because I sure didn’t. (His name was Gosnell Duncan and if you don’t want to read the entire book, you can find a brief outline of his story here.)

I also learned that the founders of Adam & Eve also created the abortion rights organisation that would become Marie Stopes International, that dildos were illegal in parts of the USA as recently as 2003 (!), and that the founder of Doc Johnson, Reuben Sturman, was a violent criminal and a tax-avoider and eventually died in prison. There was some genuinely fascinating and little-known history in this book, and for that it is to be applauded.

I’m glad Buzz exists. Sex-related history is so under-studied and stigmatised. But it wasn’t enough and it wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be. I hope it paves the way for much better and more complete works to come.

So where did Buzz fall short?

The first thing that really upset me about this book was that there is information in it that is simply untrue. “Nearly all sex toy companies today … make their toys from body-safe materials.” Uh. Do they? (No, unfortunately, they do not). And this goes beyond inaccurate – it’s actually dangerous. Educators, writers and sex geeks like me know that the industry is still jam packed with horrible toxic toys that can do serious harm to our bodies. The average layperson, though, doesn’t know that. They might read this book and think they can go and pick anything up off a shelf at a sex store or from the internet and it will be self for their body. This simply isn’t true and is perpetuating really harmful misinformation.

Secondly, I felt the title misrepresented the book. It should really have been called “A History of the Sex Toy In America.” For a book that bills itself as a general history, it is painfully US-centric. The UK is mentioned maybe once or twice, and any other countries barely get a look-in at all. It’s frightening how often I want to remind some American writers that there is a world outside the USA.

Thirdly, it’s very cis-centric. Trans people are barely mentioned – and, upsettingly, completely excluded from a section about the Stonewall riots. Non-binary and genderqueer folks are completely absent. It’s all about “men and women” (and “penis = man, vulva = woman” in the main, at that).  Bisexual people are also largely absent, and bisexual men completely so.

Finally, this might be a petty complaint, but Buzz is also riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. I can excuse one or two typos, even in a published book, but Buzz contains so many it’s ridiculous. I’m really surprised it got past an editor.

The verdict:

Kinda like a buzzy vibrator: vaguely stimulating but quickly becomes annoying. A somewhat interesting book with a few shining sections, but disappointing when you look a bit deeper. Buzz probably would have made it to three or even three and a half stars for interesting history, but the trans erasure and the misinformation about toy safety really killed it for me. Two and a half out of five.

Buy your copy of Buzz from Amazon or your local bookstore. To support my work, become a Patreon supporter, buy me a coffee, or shop with my affiliates in the right hand sidebar. 

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit

The first time I tried a rabbit toy, I simply didn’t get what the hype was all about. I found it cumbersome to use, lacking in the kind of clitoral power I needed, and it was ugly to look at. As it turns out, though, I don’t actually hate all rabbit toys. I just hate a lot of them.


I am pleased to report that I was very pleasantly surprised by the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit. Given my general ambivalence to vibrations on my G-spot and the fact that my cunt is way too picky and fickle for most dual-stim toys, this is an achievement in itself.

Let’s take a look…

The Satisfyer Pro G Spot Rabbit, a while silicone rabbit style sex toy with rose-gold accents.The shape of the Satisfyer G-Spot Rabbit is very much like a typical rabbit style vibrator, only instead of vibrating “ears,” it’s got one of Satisfyer’s signature suction-nozzle pressure wave clitoral stimulators. It’s white silicone with a rose gold button and a tiny rose gold accent around the clitoral arm.

The clitoral arm is rigid, while the insertable arm is flexible and tapers to a gentle point. The whole toy is about 9 inches in length, with an insertable length of 5 inches and a diameter of about 1.6 inches at the widest point. It’s  USB rechargeable and fully waterproof.

How did I find it?

Short version: I loved it.

Long version: I loved it, BUT… it’s not a “quick wank before bed” toy. It took me nearly an hour to get off with it (I measure this from cold-to-orgasm), but the whole experience was so pleasurable that I didn’t mind. It was a genuinely enjoyable slow build, not trying to eke an orgasm out of a toy that I’d really rather just throw across the room.

I don’t think I’ll be using it frequently, but it’ll be a toy I reach for when I’ve got some time and want to treat myself to a long, slow session with a delicious orgasm at the end of it.

I will say that I came so hard I think I woke the neighbours.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
It’s currently retailing for £79.99. This is about in line with Satisfyer’s typical price point. Sadly, it will be too expensive for some budgets, but you’re really paying for quality (and a 10 year manufacturer’s warranty!) so I am happy to recommend it as good value for money if you’re in the position to splash out for a toy.

Materials: ★★★★★
The material is lovely matte silicone, which is beautifully soft to the touch as well as non-porous and body safe. The accents and on/off button are plastic.

Appearance: ★★★★
It’s white, y’all! White! I have literally never owned an almost-entirely-white sex toy until now. I kind of love it just for being so unusual. The accents are rose gold, as I mentioned above. The whole aesthetic is quite stylish in a minimalistic sort of way.

For some reason, it being white and so plain kind of makes me think of a medical device, which… yeah, that hits some kinks for me.

Ease of Use: ★★★
It’s not the lightest toy out there, but the weight is not at all unreasonable considering the size. The shape is ergonomic and the handle sat neatly and comfortably in my hand.

The buttons take some getting used to. The bottom gold button controls the internal arm, cycling through the speeds and the various patterns of vibration. Unfortunately you can only scroll through one way, which is WAY TOO COMMON as a thing in general and always pisses me off. The second white button, situated above the gold one, controls the clitoral stimulator, which has various speed settings. Thankfully, this one turns down as well as up.

The white button is super easy to press. The gold one has to be pushed a bit more firmly. I found the buttons well-placed during use of the toy.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★
The Satisfyer Pro Rabbit is silicone and is waterproof, which makes clean-up a breeze. You can wipe it with a sterile medical wipe, or submerge in water for a more thorough cleaning.

Unfortunately, though you can put a condom over the internal arm, it’s pretty much impossible to use a barrier with the clitoral stimulator. However, the nozzle tip is removable for easier cleaning, so you can sterilise it or even swap it out between partners for extra safety.

Versatility: ★★★★
This toy has three possible constant speed settings on the and 7 different patterns of vibration. There’s also 11 speeds for the clitoral stimulator. What I really love about this toy is that you can control each of the two arms completely independently of each other.

I really like feeling full but don’t much care for vibrations on my G-spot, so it worked best for me when the insertable arm was inside me but switched off. Your mileage may vary, and the beauty of this toy is that you can mix and match the settings in whatever ways work for you. It’s also waterproof so you can take it in the bath or shower if that’s your thing.

The clitoral stimulator is about the level of intensity I expect from Satisfyer products, which is plenty. Any more intense and it would probably be painful! The strength of the vibrations on the G-spot arm are decent, though a little on the buzzier side. This wasn’t a problem for me (again, I don’t like vibrations inside so I just switched the damn thing off and used that arm like a dildo). But G-spot loving power queens might find it not strong enough.

Overall Score: ★★★★
Overall a good toy which I enjoyed using. If I could change one thing, it would be to make the main button easier to press – a pretty small complaint in the scheme of things. If you enjoy Satisfyer’s range of pressure-wave toys and enjoy using an insertable and clit toy at the same time, I’d happily recommend the Satisfyer G-Spot Rabbit.

Support me by buying your Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit from Lovehoney or SheVibe.

Satisfyer sent me this toy in exchange for an honest review. I use affiliate links within the post. If you buy toys from them, I make a small commission which helps me to keep doing this work. All opinions are, and will always be, my own.

Image is property of Satisfyer and not to be used without their express permission.

[Toy Review] Mantric Rechargeable Wand Vibrator

I love wands. They’re pretty much my favourite kind of toy. So of course, I jumped at the chance to test out the rechargeable wand from the new Mantric range. It looks a little something like this:

The Mantric magic wand, a black silicone wand style vibrator with an LED panel on the handle.

The Basics

The Mantric wand is on the smaller end for a wand, at only 9.5″ long and with a head circumference of 5.4″. It has 7 modes or patterns of vibration, and each one can work on any of five speed settings. The handle is slightly curved and it has a classic wand head. It is made of black silicone and features an LED light panel on one side of the handle which changes colour depending on which setting you’re on.

The box for the Mantric Wand vibrator - a simple cardboard box with a mandala logo and the word "Mantric" on the front.It is USB rechargeable, fully waterproof, has a travel-lock (because no-one wants their vibe turning on as you go through airport security!) and comes packaged in an minimalistic brown cardboard box – pictured left – with the Mantric branding on the front. (The mantric logo is a classy-looking mandala, then when you look closer you see it’s made of cocks and vulvas. Frankly, I am here for this).

My Experience

I tried this toy for the first time with Mr CK. He was Topping me, and using the toy on my clit while holding my vaginal opening shut with his fingers (because I am into chastity/denial play and this is my jam).

I’ve mentioned before that even though my Doxy is pretty much my favourite thing ever, it doesn’t actually lend itself super well to being used on me by a partner – it’s so intense that it quickly becomes painful if it’s even slightly in the wrong spot, and the head is so big that my partner struggles to see exactly where it’s sitting against my body. A toy with significant enough power to get me off but without the sheer intensity of the big wands is the sweet spot for me… and in that respect at least, this toy delivered.

Unusually, some of the patterns were quite enjoyable! It was still the always-magic constant vibration/high speed combo that tipped me over the edge, but the gentle wave setting and the quick, sharp bursts setting were surprisingly pleasant.

Overall, imperfect but enjoyable and did the job. Read on for the details…

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The Mantric wand retails for £59.99, which puts it squarely into the realm of a mid-range toy. It’s a reasonable price for the quality.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s almost entirely silicone (apart from the light panel and a slim band where the body joins the head). This makes it non-porous, body-safe and a delight to handle and use.

Appearance: ★★★★
Mr CK and I differed on this one! I like the sleek design and the fact that it’s black – which is refreshingly free of gendered connotations/assumptions. Plus, I think the LED light panel is a really fun, swanky touch. He’s more a functional type than me and thinks the LED panel is gimicky and pointless. The Mantric range toys are all either black or a dark pinkish-purple colour.

Ease of Use: ★★
Plus points: it’s very light, and the ergonomic handle and intelligent button placement makes it easy and intuitive to hold and manipulate during use.

Unfortunately, I do have a few gripes about the user-friendliness: Getting it to turn on is not intuitive. You have to press the middle of the three buttons, which puts it into “standby” mode, then press it again, then pick the setting you want. I’ll be keeping the instructions for this one because, if I don’t use it for a bit, I can see myself forgetting how to switch it on. The second annoyance is that you can only change the setting one way – so if you skip past the one you want, you have to cycle alllll the way back through again.  You can change the speeds up or down, which is a plus, but in terms of changing the pattern it’s up up up only.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★
The Mantric wand is completely waterproof, meaning you can submerge it into warm water for a thorough cleaning. You can also give it a quick clean between uses with a sterile medical wipe – remember to pick body-safe wipes!

There is a seam where the plastic band meets the head and handle,which could trap germs. Take extra care on this area when cleaning. This toy doesn’t come with a storage bag, which I would have liked. Individual storage bags help keep toys clean and dust-free between uses.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Mantric wand has 5 speeds and 7 settings, meaning it’s pretty versatile whatever type of vibration you like. It is pretty much a clitoral toy – you could insert the handle end, as it’s silicone, but I’d be worried about getting fluids and germs in the seam where the light panel joins the main body.  This wand is waterproof, so you could take it into the bath or shower if that’s your jam.

More than adequate for the price-point and size! The vibrations are pretty rumbly at the lower levels, and a little buzzier at the higher ones. I’d recommend this vibe to someone who likes a good level of vibration intensity, but sometimes or always wants something less extreme than my favourite power-tool.

Overall Score: Image result for three and a half stars
A basically solid toy with some flaws. I enjoyed using it and will be using it again, though I don’t think it will go into the “reach for it every session” pile. I’d love to see a second edition released. With the user-friendliness issues ironed out, this would move from being a good toy to a great toy.

Buying your Mantric wand, or any toys, from Lovehoney using my affiliate links helps to support me and keep the blog going. Thanks to Lovehoney, who sent me this toy free of charge in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are, and will always be, my own.

[Toy Review] The Queen Bee by Hot Octopuss

It’s here! The Marmite of sex toys (probably only Brits will get that reference, sorry everyone else) is in my possession and…

…| am coming down very firmly in the “love” camp.

The Queen Bee by Hot Octopuss, a grey oscillating sex toy that is shaped like a hairbrush.

I’ve been wanting the Queen Bee, from Hot Octopuss (who I love!), ever since I saw the prototype last Eroticon. H.O. listened to their consumers and created a toy for vulvas using the same “PulsePlate” technology as their revolutionary Pulse toys for penis-owners.

In their words: “Unlike conventional sex toys, the Queen Bee uses a ‘piston’-type mechanism in order to generate extremely deep and rumbly oscillations.” Basically, it oscillates rather than vibrates.

Now, I am a lover of broad clitoral stimulation – pinpoint does it for me sometimes, but I have to be careful with this as it can cross into being painful really quickly. Toys with big heads that stimulate the whole clitoris and vulva are really where it’s at for me. There’s a reason the original Doxy is my favourite thing in the world, folks.

My experience with the Queen Bee each time I’ve used it was one of a slow-build orgasm. This isn’t a “get me off in 2 minutes from cold so I can sleep” toy, but more of a “luxurious, long, slow session that ends with an orgasm so explosive my partner can hear it from the other end of the house” toy. I love it. It’s staying in the little pile of toys I reach for regularly.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★
The Queen Bee retails for £119 from Hot Octopuss directly. This puts it in the higher price bracket but not off the scale for a high-quality toy. Don’t forget you can use my exclusive code, CK10, for 10% off before the end of December!

Materials: ★★★★
The naterial is TPE, which I will admit put me off initially as this tends to be a porous material (though it contains no phthalates or other nasties and is therefore technically non-toxic). However, Hot Octopuss uses medical-grade, non-porous TPE that can be thoroughly sanitised. When I asked my contact about this, they provided a handy info-sheet which is really thorough and reassuring. This transparency, combined with Dangerous Lilly’s endorsement, gives me full confidence to say that this toy is made of a body-safe material.

It doesn’t have quite the gorgeous sensual smoothness of silicone – it’s firm, though less harsh than hard plastic. The material is unfortunately a little grabby, so a spot of water-based lube really enhances the experience. (Then again, when DOESN’T lube make something better?)

Appearance: ★★★★
IT’S NOT PINK, Y’ALL. It doesn’t even come in pink, or in any kind of pastel or “girly” (ugh) shade at all. It’s a dark steely grey and looks a bit like a hairbrush. It’s not a beautiful or even a pretty toy, but weirdly I enjoy this about it.  I like something that’s purple and sparkly as much as the next femme, but the whole look of this toy just screams “I MEAN BUSINESS, I AM NOT HERE TO BE DECORATIVE” and frankly I am here for that.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
Opinions in the blogosphere vary over this one, but I find the Queen Bee reasonably easy and intuitive to use. It was 4 buttons in a line: On/Off, pattern change, speed up and speed down. They’re easy to press and I found it easy to change the setting mid-wank without breaking my flow. What I really liked about using the Queen Bee is that I didn’t have to press it as hard against my vulva as I do with a wand or other vibrator – in fact, the sensation was much stronger and more satisfying when I held it lightly against myself.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The Queen Bee is fully waterproof, making it easy to clean with hot water for thorough sanitising. You can also clean it with a body-safe alcohol wipe (I buy mine in bulk from medical suppliers.) It does have a HUUUGE seam where the oscillating plate joins the rest of the toy. Fluids and bacteria could easily get trapped here, so be extra thorough around this area when cleaning it. For this reason, I’d hesitate to share it without a barrier in a non fluid-bonded relationship. You could use it through a dam or other barrier, but I’m not sure how much that would impact the feeling of the oscillations.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Queen Bee has six different settings – constant and five different patterns – as well as multiple speed options to choose from. I found even the lower speeds quite rumbly and satisfying, though it did take the top speed to get me off. The Queen Bee is also waterproof, if taking your toys in the bath or shower with you is your thing. It’s advertised as having a “gentle warm up massage” sensation if you use the back (opposite the PulsePlate) but this was too weak to do much of anything for me. Those with less Power Queen tendencies than me may enjoy it, though.

As it looks like a hairbrush, I kind of want to use it as a spanking tool, but I don’t recommend actually trying this as it might damage the oscillating mechanism.

It’s difficult to compare the Queen Bee, an oscillating toy, against a conventional vibrator, so I am going to resist doing so. Let’s just say it’s pleasingly rumbly on the lowest settings and pretty intense on the higher ones! Again, it’s definitely a slow-build toy for me, but I thoroughly enjoyed using it.

Overall Score: ★★★★
Definitely won’t do it for everyone. If you like pinpoint stim exclusively, this isn’t the toy for you. But if you like broad, rumbly sensations and are looking for something a bit different to classic vibrations, give the Queen Bee a try!

One final thing of note: MY GOD this thing is loud! Now I don’t really mind about toys being loud, because I live with my intimate partner and have no housemates, kids or family at home. But if you live with other people and need a discreet toy, this is not it.

Thank you to my friends at Hot Octopuss for sending me the Queen Bee in exchange for an honest review. The Queen Bee is available directly from Hot Octopuss, as well as Lovehoney and SheVibe. This post contains affiliate links. Image is property of Hot Octopuss and reproduced here with their permission.

[Wearable Review] Moonlight Wine Crotchless Plunge Body by Lovehoney

I am not a lingerie person. Like, at all. I go braless basically all the time. My first choice of underwear is boxer shorts. I owned one basque from Ann Summers and passed it on to Mr CK after deciding that, in his very occasional bouts of cross dressing, he looks better in it than I do. This is how NOT a lingerie person I am. (#LazyFemme.)

Even so, when the lovely folks at Lovehoney offered me something from their new Moonlight range to try, I thought it might be fun to broaden my horizons and see what the appeal is. After much deliberation and some consulting with Mr CK, I went for the Crotchless Plunge Body in this gorgeous shade known as “wine.”

The Lovehoney Moonlight Crotchless Plunge Body, modelled by a pretty white woman with long dark hair and lipstick that matches the garment.

Despite the fact that I am most emphatically Not A Lingerie Person, I loved the look of the Moonlight range straight away when I saw some samples at the September affiliate event. The black and red-purple colour scheme and the luxurious fabrics spoke to me of a classiness that is mostly missing from the bits of cheap lace and fake leather I’ve had ill-fated relationships with in the past.

Even so, it was with some trepidation that I tried on this garment. I have a complex relationship with my body-image at the best of times and I am currently in a very frustrating plateau in the midst of a long weight-loss journey. I felt worried that it wouldn’t fit or that I’d just look ridiculous and about as sexy as a blob.

But I needn’t have worried. The moment I felt the satin and lace against my skin, I started to feel transported into a sexy space. Really good clothing can take me to a different place. In a well-tailored dress and heels, I’m ready to take on the business world. In the perfect floor-length gown, I can swoosh around a charity ball with people much richer than me and act like I belong there. And, it seems, in really good lingerie I go from zero to sex-kitten in moments. When I’ve got this piece on, I just want someone to stick their fingers through the convenient access hole in the crotch. I feel babely as all hell, and I love it.

A couple of extra things of note: this piece is hand-wash only. All the pieces in the Moonlight range come in equally-gorgeous Plus Sizes (up to approx. UK 24). Unlike many companies, Lovehoney do not charge more for Plus Size.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
This piece retails at £34.99 and items in the Moonlight range go up to £39.99. Considering that you can easily pay as much for a half-decent bra, and that comparable basques and bodies at some high street stores can retail for upwards of twice as much, these prices are really reasonable for the quality.

Appearance: ★★★★★
I really can’t overestimate how gorgeous this body is. The shade (well-named, it really is close to the colour of red wine!) is stunning, the cut is really flattering, and the lace and ribbon accents are stylish and eyecatching without being “too much.” The satiny ribbon around the middle is a really nice touch that completes the look for me – I love how it accentuates my waist, which is one of my best features.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s a mix of satin and lace, which look beautiful together and feel gorgeous against the skin. I particularly love how soft the lace is. I tend to shy away from lace because it can be so scratchy, and my skin is very sensitive to textures, but this doesn’t scratch at all. There’s definitely no corner-cutting by using cheap materials here. The fabrics carry off the luxurious first impression.

Fit: ★★★★
The Moonlight pieces run true to size, in so far as women’s clothing has consistency of sizing. I normally wear a size 12 and I ordered the medium, which is labelled as a 10-12 and fits me snugly but well. The only thing I will point out is that the cups run a bit small if you’re big-busted. I have DD boobs and the medium is a little small on them – at a guess I would say it’s maybe a C-cup. Just something to be aware of for those of us with an above-average bust for your size. The band size fit me well at a 36.

Overall Score: ★★★★★
I really wasn’t expecting to be as impressed with this piece as I am, given the price and my general ambivalence towards sexy lingerie as a thing. After this, though? I might be something of a convert.

I can’t wait to wear it for Mr in the bedroom!

Don’t forget: this piece featured in my 2017 holiday gift guide because I loved it so much. Go to my exclusive gift guide page and buy through there and you’ll get 15% off!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! All views are my own. This post contains affiliate links. If you buy through one, I make a small commission which helps me to keep doing this work. 

The image in this post belongs to Lovehoney, and I have used it with their permission.