[Wearable Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Maze Cat Ears Headpiece

Chances are, if you’ve met me in meat-space, you’ve also met The Signature Ears. That is, the various cat ear headbands I wear as often as possible in sex-positive spaces. They’re a big part of how I present myself as Amy, they’re super memorable, and I love them. So I was thrilled when Bijoux Indiscrets, who sponsored Eroticon this year , approached me before the ‘Con and asked if I’d like to try one of their new cat ear headpieces.

Why yes, yes I would!

Feline Good…

BIjoux Indiscrets Maze cat ears headpiece on my desk.MAZE is an amazing collection of faux-leather accessories from Bijoux Indiscrets. The line includes cuffs, harnesses, collars and more. Most of the pieces are available in both black and brown. The aesthetic is bondage-inspired and focused on sensuality, power and blending “current fashion with traditional eroticism”. Thing strong lines, minimal adornments and kinky elegance. Though they’re showed being modeled by feminine folks, I see no reason why this stuff wouldn’t also look amazing on more masculine bodies.

As a vegetarian, I often feel a bit hypocritical in my love of leather and I have a complex relationship with it. So imagine my delight at learning that everything in Bijoux’s “leather” range is made of polyurethane from recycled materials. Environmentally friendly AND 100% vegan approved. Whoever said that looking gorgeous couldn’t be ethical and cruelty-free?

Maze pieces range from £25 to £90 in price. These ears retail for £40 from Bijoux directly, and are currently available at Shevibe for £33.25 (about $45). They’re luxury pieces and come with luxury price-tags. However, they’re beautifully made from quality materials and this company has stellar customer service reviews.

The Cat’s Whiskers…

Bijoux Indiscrets Maze cat ears headpiece lying on an open lined notebook.The Maze cat ears headpiece is available in both black and brown. I’m definitely a black cat, though, so that’s the colour I went for. It’s fully adjustable at the head. With a maximum circumference of 24.4 inches (minimum 21.25), this piece will fit the vast majority of adults just fine. There’s even space to add an extra hole if required, making it even more customisable to fit you perfectly.

I found the ears easy to adjust and super comfortable once they were in place. They were also nice and secure, so no risk of them falling off – which is important in any product, but especially one that you might pay £40 for!

Me-OW!

The top of my head in Bijoux Indiscrets Maze cat ears headpiece.
I’m sorry the quality of this isn’t brilliant and I’m also sad you can’t see my epic makeup, but anonymity comes first.

I honestly felt so fucking sexy in these ears. I paired them with my favourite catsuit from Latex Leather & Lace and high boots for the Eroticon Saturday night social and… let’s just say, heads were turning.

Was it over the top and ridiculous? Yes. Did I feel sexier and more powerful than pretty much ever in my life before? Also yes.

“They make you look hella kissable!” – anon. pretty girl.

Surprisingly, perhaps, I haven’t done very much kitten play or pet play of any kind. (I’m curious, though). But if that’s your jam, these ears could be the ideal piece to help you transform into the gorgeous sex-kitten you want to be.

CAT-egorically Recommended

(Sorry – the puns can’t all be great, okay!?)

I’m simply in love with these ears and this whole range! If you’re looking for a sexy, bondage-inspired aesthetic, you can’t go wrong with Maze.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these ears in exchange for an honest review! All views are, as ever, my own. If you get your own, please consider buying from Shevibe using my affiliate links in order to send a small commission my way. Pictures are by me and not to be used without express permission.

[Toy Review] The Zumio

As a lover of intense clitoral stimulation, I’ve wanted a Zumio ever since I first learned about them. But they’ve always been in the category of toys I would never buy at full price –  they’re expensive and I had no idea if they would actually work for me.

The Zumio, for those who don’t know, is a new type of clitoral stimulator. It looks a bit like a purple electric toothbrush, and has a very thin, plastic rod tip – known as a SpiroTIP – which “whirls around in tiny circles”. It’s designed to mimic the movement of a finger circling the clit, only… more, faster and harder. Observe:

The Zumio, a purple sex toy with a small plastic tip. Shaped a bit like a toothbrush.Anyone who has been reading my work for any length of time knows that I am frequently annoyed by sex toy marketing claims. Zumio created some waves in the blogosphere by claiming that this toy will make a person with a clitoris come in 60 seconds or less. Dangerous Lilly, blogger and reviewer extraordinaire, has covered in detail why this is problematic, so I don’t feel a need to go into it in depth. However, I will admit to really hoping this toy would finally be the answer to getting me off clitorally very quickly… and being disappointed/wondering if I’m “broken” when it inevitably didn’t.

But let’s back up a minute and take a closer look…

The Zumio is made of ABS plastic and silicone. The bit that makes direct contact with the body is plastic. Therefore it’s body safe, non-porous and non-toxic. It also happens to be waterproof, if wanking in the bath or shower is your thing. It’s charged via USB and comes with a little charging stand that makes it remind me even more of a toothbrush.

The user interface is 3 simple buttons – an on/off switch, one to turn the speed up, and one to turn the speed down. There are 8 speed settings in total, and no “patterns” or any of that silliness. (I hate patterns).

The Zumio retails for £134.99. It’s an expensive product, so I recommend buying from a retailer with a solid returns policy in case it doesn’t work for you. (Lovehoney are great in this regard).

My Experience…

The Zumio is about as pinpoint as pinpoint stimulation can get. The tip is also hard. For that reason, I was nervous – direct contact to my clit is often too intense and painful for me. Even so, I dove in and started off on the lowest setting. I quickly discovered that my suspicions were correct. Even on the lowest setting, the hard plastic tip against my clit was intense to the point of painful.

No matter – that problem was solved by putting my knickers back on and using the toy through my panties. I don’t do this with any other toy (except very occasionally the Doxy 3) because I need a lot of stimulation to come. Through the underwear, I found this toy much more enjoyable and that was how I eventually got off with it. If you try it and it’s too intense, try with a layer of clothing between the tip and your clit.

Contrary to what is apparently the more common experience, Zumio is a slow-build toy for me. If I’ve got an hour or more to spend slowly teasing myself, ramping up through the speeds one at a time, and toeing the line between “so intense it’s blissful” and “so intense it’s painful,” the orgasm at the end of it is delicious. But pretty much the only thing that can get me off quickly is wands, so I might not be the person to trust on “quickness of orgasm” factors. All bodies are so different.

Care and Clean-Up

The Zumio comes with a little drawstring storage bag, big enough to fit the toy, docking stand and charging cable, which I appreciated. All sex toys should come with storage bags and so few do. Given how thin the tip is, I’m a bit nervous about it getting broken in storage. Be careful with how you store this toy – you probably don’t want to throw other things on top of it.

Clean-up is a pinch. The Zumio is waterproof, so you can wash it thoroughly with warm soapy water. You can also wipe the tip clean with a body-safe sterile wipe (I get mine in bulk from medical suppliers – much cheaper than toy cleaner).

You can’t use a condom with it, though you could use a barrier like a dam. But the easiest thing to do if you want to share it between partners is just to thoroughly clean the tip between users.

Do I recommend it?

Honestly, I personally loved it less than I was hoping I would. That doesn’t mean I don’t recommend it – I just recommend it to a very specific subset of people.

If you like extremely pinpoint clitoral stimulation, you’ll probably love it. But if you’re into broader stimulation it’s probably not for you. If you have a clit that likes very intense, very direct stimulation, Zumio’s got you covered.

Zumio is a genuinely innovative toy and different to anything else on the market. For that, it is certainly to be commended. So many toy companies claim to be innovative, and so few actually are.

You can buy your Zumio from Lovehoney or SheVibe.

Thanks to the good folks of Zumio for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. As always, all opinions are entirely my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.