[Toy Review] Temptasia Harness Briefs & Jezebel Dildo

I’ve had these babies in my “to review” pile for ages. Unfortunately, I don’t have sex with vulva owners super often, and the dildo is a little too big for my current pegging adventures with my penis-owning partner, so it took a while for me to have chance to test them. However, I’ve now tested from both the giving and receiving perspective, so I feel prepared to tell you all about them!

I’m reviewing these items together, even though you purchase them separately, because I received them – and tested them – as a pair. Do I think it’s a match made in sexy heaven? Read on to find out…

Temptasia: Affordable Delights

I’ve previously reviewed Temptasia’s jewelled butt plug, which you may recall I was really impressed with. I’m really liking this product line from Blush Novelties – they’re great quality for the price, and everything is body-safe.

Temptasia Harness Briefs

I LOVE these briefs! The material is a soft and stretchy black cotton/spandex blend, which makes them super comfortable against the skin. They also didn’t leave me over hot or unnecessarily sweaty.

They come equipped with a 1.5″ O-ring (slightly stretchy) which can accommodate most harness-compatible dildos or packers. There are also two strategically-placed inner pockets where you can put a vibrating bullet, ideal for giving some clitoral stimulation to the wearer.

Though I’m cis and pretty femme, I really enjoyed the masculine aesthetic of these boxer-style harness briefs. As they’re comfy enough for day to day wear, they’re ideal for trans-masculine folks who want to wear a packer as well as for play purposes. I enjoyed pairing them with my glitteriest, most ridiculously colourful femme dildo, because fucking with gendered norms is my jam.

They’re even machine washable! Just stick them on a gentle 30 degrees cycle and air-dry, and you’re good to go.

A note on sizing:

The Peepshow product listing helpfully contains the waist circumference of each size of briefs. However, as they’re super stretchy, don’t worry if you’re between sizes or a bit over or under.

Mine are a size Medium. My play partner wears a UK 8 and she was able to wear these comfortably, though they were a touch big for her. I’m currently wearing a UK 16 and the Medium was, though wearable, a little on the small side. I’d be more comfortable in a size up. I’m actually seriously considering buying another pair in Large because I love them so much.

Broadly, I’d recommend a Small if you’re a size 6-10, Medium for 12-14, Large for 16-18, and XL for 18-20 (all UK sizes, I don’t know how that translates across the pond!) Sadly, XL is the largest size they go up to.

Jezebel Silicone Dildo

I was given the choice of three dildos with my Temptasia harness briefs, and I chose the Jezebel – in part for the beautiful red colour! It’s a gorgeous bright crimson, and the base is a heart shape. Cuteness galore!

The Jezebel is a 6.1″ long (5.3″ insertable) dildo with a diameter of 1.5″ and a gentle curve, making it ideal for g-spot stimulation. The flared suction-cup base makes it ideal for harness play, for sticking to surfaces for hands free fun, and even for anal play.

The Jezebel is made of 100% smooth, body-safe silicone. Clean with a sterile medical wipe or gentle soap and water, and stick it in a pan of boiling water or in the top rack of the dishwasher to completely sterilise. It’s latex and non-latex condom compatible, and will play best with water-based lube.

How do they play together?

Brilliantly! The positioning of the Jezebel dildo inside the Temptasia harness briefs was perfect for g-spot stimulation (as the receiver) and easy positioning and thrusting (as the giver). These items were clearly designed with use together in mind.

Do I recommend them?

Yes! This is the most comfortable and user-friendly strap on harness I’ve ever tried, and these items pair perfectly together. And at $24 for the briefs and $21 for the dildo, you really can’t go far wrong!

Thank you to Peepshow Toys for sending me these products to review. As ever, all views are my own. If you make a purchase through any of the affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission. Images are by me – do not use them without permission.

[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit

I often groan at the idea – and the reality – of sex toy kits. Too often, they’re lots of cheap and bad quality things shoved together in a pretty box and sold for a premium. If pressed for an opinion, I’ll nearly always tell my readers to forego a kit and spend a bit more on just one or two quality items. However, I try to keep an open mind, and occasionally something surprises me. The Take Control Bondage Kit from Lovehoney pleasantly surprised me.

Through the eyes of a beginner…

I’m practically a kinky veteran at this point. I’ve been practicing BDSM for about a decade and have accrued a sizeable collection of toys – expensive leather floggers, my fabulous vegan leather collar, the gorgeous hand-made whip I gave Mr CK last Christmas, our electro-play kit, and more. So beginner kits are not something I would ever normally buy for myself. Therefore, I am trying to step back in time ten years or so and view this kit through the eyes of someone who is just starting out in their kinky explorations.

Inviting and Fun Packaging…

The Take Control Bondage Kit comes in one simple box, with all the products clearly displayed on the front so you know exactly what to expect. The packaging is bright and fun, which I suspect is a deliberate choice to make it non-intimidating to the new and nervous.

There’s a LOT of information on the box, too. I really like the way that there’s a brief description on how to use each item on the back, and also that they pay attention to safety and consent! The box reminds you to use safewords, never leave a bound person alone, and have a non-verbal safe signal if someone is gagged. In this regard, I’m really impressed. It’s pretty 101 stuff, but safety/consent 101 is exactly the information that the target market for this kit needs. A+ for that.

The unboxing…

I wasn’t delighted with the way the box was packed – everything was just sort of piled in, each item wrapped in a cellophane wrapper. It would have been nicer to have an inner tray with slots for everything. Some little storage bags for the items would also be a welcome addition. Assuming you don’t want to throw everything back in the box when you’re done playing, it’s not an ideal storage solution.

With that said, I was immediately pretty impressed with what was inside. Some (many) beginner BDSM kits are filled with things that are dubiously even safe, let alone of good quality.

Let’s take a look at what’s inside, shall we? Just for fun, I’ve included a fun tip or an idea to try with each item.

1: Blindfold

This blindfold is super comfy. It’s nice and thick and padded, and I couldn’t see a thing when it was on. The band is stretchy, too, so it should fit most people comfortably.

Pro kink tip: blindfold your partner and stroke different things across their body – a silk scarf, a piece of velvet, the tails of your flogger – and make them guess what each item is.

2. Nipple suckers

I really liked these! They’re a great gentle introduction to nipple play, and perfect if you want some sensation but without the pain of clamps or clothes pegs. I have pretty small nipples on fairly large breasts, and I found these stayed in place very nicely once I’d suctioned them onto my chest.

If you flick or hit them too hard, they will fly off, but they can withstand some gentle playing and wiggling.

Pro kink tip: tell your partner to fetch you something from another room with these on. They’ll have to move carefully… they’ll be spanked if one falls off!

3. Ball gag

Full disclosure: I hate ball gags. I fucking hate them. They make my jaw hurt, they make my face contort into an expression that no-one could possibly find attractive, they make me drool, and I can’t kiss my partner when I’m wearing one. I. Hate. Them.

With that said, this is a good one if you like that sort of thing. The holes make it breathable, and being silicone it’s non-porous which makes it hygienic. The holes do make it somewhat of a pain to clean, so take extra care when you’re cleaning it. Warm water and gentle soap is the best way to go here.

I also like how adjustable this gag is. With 9 buckle holes, it will fit most people comfortably.

Pro kink tip: make your submissive try to repeat words back to you (try phrases like “I’m a dirty little slut”) while gagged.

4. Flogger

This is a stingy little bastard! Don’t let the small size fool you, it can pack a wallop. The falls are made of thin rubber, which delivers a vicious sting when you put some force behind it. If pain isn’t your thing, you can drag it sensually across the skin for a gentle tickle. I would have liked the handle to have a bit more width and weight to it.

Pro kink tip: Try – gently – flogging the vulva or penis if your partner is up for it. Remember to clean your flogger thoroughly afterwards.

5. Wrist and ankle cuffs

These were the weakest part of the kit by far, for me. They’re quite thin and made of nylon, with no padding, which means they chafe if you put any pressure on them at all. They’re fine for exploring the feeling of being restrained, but if you’re into rough play and would be wanting to pull against them, they’re not a good option for that.

Try restraint with these, by all means, to see if you like it. But then ditch them and get some proper cuffs. And I hope it goes without saying that you should never, EVER suspend from wrist or ankle cuffs. These are not designed to take any real weight.

Pro kink tip: Restrain your partner then make them watch you masturbate in front of them.

6. Under-bed restraints

These are great, except for the tiny detail that they don’t fit on our bed! We have a Super King bed (which is the best thing ever, seriously. I always tell Mr CK that my relationship with him and the bed is polyamorous in itself.) Turns out these restraints fit up to King Size. So they’ll be fine for the vast majority of people, but if you have a ridiculous bed like us, they may not fit.

That said, they’re still a great addition to the kit. They’re strong, durable, and easy to set up… and tuck out of sight when you’re done, if you want to. The little clips mean you can easily add different cuffs to them, so when you ditch the rubbish cuffs in this set and get some better ones, you can still use them with this restraint system.

Pro kink tip: when your partner is restrained, run a cube of ice along their body… or drip candle wax onto their skin (read up on how to do wax play safely first, of course!)

7. Silicone suction-cup dildo

Do my eyes deceive me, or… no, it’s actually a body-safe dildo in a BDSM kit! With an insertable length of 6 inches and a diameter of 1.5″, it’s perfect for vaginal play. It’s possibly a bit ambitious for first-time anal sex or pegging, but most people could easily work up to it with a bit of time and warm-up.

The slight curve makes this dildo feel delicious for G-spot or prostate stimulation, and the silicone is super soft and silky. The suction cup is also a nice addition and makes this toy more versatile.

It’s even got a convenient hollow in the base where you can slip the bullet vibe that comes with this kit to turn your dildo into a G-spot vibrator!

Remember to use water-based lube with your silicone dildo for the best experience.

Pro kink tip: tease your lover’s entrance with just the tip of the dildo. If they want it inside, they have to thrust on to it!

8. Strap-on harness

This is actually the same harness that I bought as part of a pegging kit a few years ago. I’ve used it many, many times to top for both vaginal and anal penetration, and it’s still my favourite harness. It’s comfortable, the dildo stays in place well during thrusting, and the rings are interchangeable so you can use it with any dildo with a flared base.

Pro kink tip: If you have a vulva, put on a wearable vibrator before you put on your harness, so that you get some clitoral pleasure while you fuck your partner.

9. Wired bullet vibrator

This was the biggest surprise in the kit for me. I was fully expecting it to be awful. While it’s not the strongest vibrator in the world, it’s not a bad little bullet for the size. I was able to orgasm with it quickly and easily. It has a number of patterns as well as steady vibration speeds.

I didn’t love the wire element, but you cannot expect to get a wireless bullet for this price-point. It’s long enough for one partner to comfortably have control of the remote while the other holds the vibrator against their genitals.

Pro kink tip: switch it off just when your lover is on the edge of orgasm. Make them beg for release.

Other things to note

  • The bullet takes 2x AAA batteries, not included.
  • There is no real leather in this kit, making it entirely vegan-friendly.

Overall Verdict: do I recommend it?

On the whole, a very solid kit for the price. I wouldn’t recommend it to folks more experienced in kink and BDSM, but for those of you who are new and looking to explore different sensations and types of power-play, this kit is a great starting point.

The Take Control kit retails for £79.99 ($109.99 US) which is a reasonable price for the quality and variety. As you get more into your kink and discover what you like, I’d encourage you to drop more money on single items if you can – a quality, handcrafted whip or flogger will last you a lifetime, perhaps, or some really high quality natural fibre rope? But to get you started? Look no further.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Take Control Bondage Kit in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to purchase this or anything else from Lovehoney, please buy through my affiliate links – it supports the blog at no extra cost to you!

 

[Toy Review] Avant Pride P1 Dildo

A "support me on Patreon" buttonHey friends and fans. I want to take a second to talk money – a boring subject, I know, but bear with me. I do this work, sex education and writing and reviewing, primarily for the love of it. But I’m also trying more and more to make it a part of my regular living – the goal, eventually, is to give up my day job and write full time. But for that, I need your help! If you enjoy my work, please consider throwing a dollar or two my way each month on Patreon to access some exciting bonus content including exclusive erotic fiction shorts every Tuesday! If you can’t commit to a monthly amount but still want to support me, you can buy me a virtual coffee. Click the appropriate buttons above to support. If you can’t afford financial support right now, that’s absolutely fine and I love you and value your readership so much! It’s super easy to support me and all your favourite sex writers and creators without it costing you anything by sharing our work on the social media of your choice. Thank you! Now on to the review.

A rainbow dildo lying on a white notebook with a unicorn on the cover.
Ridiculous unicorn notebook courtesy of Amy’s impulse-shopping in The Works.

You know what I love about Pride season, among other things? RAINBOWS ON FUCKING EVERYTHING. Seriously, I love it.

The Avant Pride line of toys are manufactured by Blush Novelties and stocked by the wonderful Peepshow Toys, who sent me this product to review. They come in a bunch of different colour schemes based on different pride flags – mine is the rainbow gay/LGBTQ+ pride dildo, but there’s also a lesbian pride dildo, a transgender pride dildo, a genderfluid pride butt plug, a genderqueer pride butt plug, and a leather/BDSM pride butt plug.

They’re a gorgeous line and I adore them. I am, though, sad there’s no bisexual pride product. I’m trying really hard not to read into this as bi erasure. It’s hard, though, when so many of the other letters of LGBTQ+ are represented. Come on, Blush, give us bisexuals some representation!

A rainbow dildo standing next to a glass full of coloured pencils.Facts ‘n’ Figures

The Avant Pride P1 is a fairly petite little thing. It measures only 6 inches total length, with 5.25″ insertable, and has a diameter of 1.4″ at widest point. It also has a distinctly curved shape and a bulbous head, ideal for G-spot or prostate pleasure.

It’s made of very soft, squishy and extremely bendy matte silicone. The base is a strong suction cup (seriously, you should try peeling this thing off a desk – it sticks!) This means you can use it hands-free by sticking it to a floor/desk/chair/shower stall, and it also makes it harness-compatible in case you want to wear it and fuck your lover with it.

Lab-Certified Body-Safe

I’m not really sure what this actually means, as so few sex toys are ever lab tested! I assume it means the company has run the appropriate tests to meaningfully certify their material as body-safe… but, given the sex toy industry is unregulated, it could also just be words.

Even so, the Pride P1 is made of 100% silicone which ensures it definitely is, in fact, body-safe. As it has no motor or anything, it’s also boilable – you can sterilise your pure silicone dildos/plugs by throwing them into a pot of water on the stove, bringing to the boil, and leaving for 10-15 minutes. This is the best way to kill any and all lingering bacteria, and is especially important if you want to share your toy or use it vaginally/orally after having used it anally.

As ever, you can give your toy a quick clean with a body-safe sterile wipe of the kind you can buy in bulk from medical suppliers, and if you’re sharing it without sterilising you should use a condom. Use water-based lube with silicone toys.

Bend and Flex

A rainbow dildo standing on a stack of books about sex.
Also feat: some of my sexy book pile.

This toy, though it feels great in use, is actually a little too bendy for me. When I tried to thrust hard with it, the super-flexible shaft meant that it kept bending in the wrong direction rather than hitting my G-spot accurately. Though lack of a suitable partner being available means I have not had the chance to try it in my harness, I suspect that this issue would also prevent it from being an ideal dildo for vaginal fucking or pegging.

What I do love about this one, though, is the shape. When that wide, rounded head presses into just the right spot… mmmfff. What I have concluded is that this toy is much better as an “insert and leave it in while I do clitoral play” dildo than a “hard and fast fucking” dildo. And that job it performed admirably.

A good cheap, safe option

The Pride P1 dildo retails for $3o, and the whole range are between $26 and $30. This is a really good price for a pure silicone toy, and rivals a lot of the unsafe products available on the cheaper end of the market in affordability.

Do I recommend it?

Reserved yes. I would be happy to recommend these toys to anyone wanting a less rigid dildo, something slimline, or something for leave-in-and-play purposes. I’d be a lot more hesitant to recommend it for strap-on or hard thrusting play. (For that, you’re better off with something like the Silk or the D1). But all around, a solid little toy for the price.

Thanks to Peepshow Toys for sending me the Pride P1 to review! If you buy anything from their site, use my code COFFEE for 10% off at checkout – including the awesome current PrideNJoy sale. This helps me to keep doing what I’m doing. As ever, all opinions are my own and all photos are by me and not to be used without permission. 

[Toy Review] Lifelike Lover Luxe Silicone Realistic Dildo

First, a note: I am changing how I do reviews in that I am now piloting a system where I DON’T give a star rating. Toy reviews will always rely heavily on subjectivity, as all our bodies are different – but I am now wondering if the star rating system came across as passing an inherent value judgement on a toy, when actually my opinion on any product is by definition subjective. If a toy is objectively bad (body-unsafe, for example, or really horribly made) I probably just won’t bother reviewing it in the first place. In the products I review, I want to focus more on what worked for me, what didn’t, and what might work with others’ unique bodies and preferences.

Now with that out of the way, on to the review!

I’m forever being asked for recommendations of good quality, body-safe dildos at affordable prices. There are many wonderful realistic silicone dildos on the market, but many of them tend to be expensive – Vixen Creations do their wonderful VixSkin dildos, but not everyone can afford to drop £100+ on a toy.

Luckily, Lovehoney have got you covered!

Lifelife Lover is a new range of realistic toys from Lovehoney. It’s important to note that some of them are made of PVC, which I do not endorse as a toy material (it’s porous, for one thing). However, there are 8 silicone options in the range – a 5.5″ and an 8″, each available in four colourways – which I heartily recommend. Silicone is body-safe, hypoallergenic and non-porous. I chose the 8 inch version in purple for this review. (A girl can never have too many purple dicks in her collection). The other colours available are black, Caucasian flesh colour, and bright pink.

Lovehoney Lifelike Lover - a purple realistic suction cup dildo with balls.Details

This dildo is 8″ long from base to tip, with an insertable length of 7″. At the widest point, its circumference is 5″. On the smaller model, you’ve got an insertable length of 5″ and a maximum circumference of 4″.

The Lifelike Lover design really is very… well, lifelike! It resembles a circumcised cock (or an uncut dick with the foreskin rolled back, I guess) with its pronounced head, there are accurate “veins” all down the shaft, and there’s even a meatus (don’t you love that word?) and textured balls.

This 8″ model retails for £32.99, while the 5″ models are £24.99. I cannot overstate this: this is such a good price for a realistic, pure silicone toy of this quality.

The Lifelike Lover Purple Silicone Dildo held in a woman's hand.In Use

This dildo feels absolutely divine to me. The Lifelike Lover dildos have a very slight curve (again, sticking with the realism) and the pronounced head is wonderful for G-spot stimulation. I like to press the head against my G-spot and just wiggle the toy slightly to get the pressure I enjoy. The silicone is soft and pliable, meaning you can angle it just right for your body’s preferences, but firm enough to thrust with satisfactorily.

Being silicone, it warms up quickly with your body heat once inserted. You could also run it under some warm water prior to use to get it nicely warmed up.

All Lifelike Lover silicone dildos have suction cup bases, which makes them ideal for hands-free use – stick it to the edge of the shower, a hard floor, the window if you’re feeling daring, and have fun. I can attest to the strength and quality of the suction cup, as it has just taken be both hands to prise it away from where it had suctioned itself to my desk. When stuck to a surface, it sticks out at the perfect just-above-horizontal angle. It’s also harness-compatible, making it ideal for strap-on play or pegging, and has a large enough base to be anal safe.

Care & Cleaning

The best way to clean pure silicone toys without motors is to boil-sterilise them. Just pop it in a pan of hot water on the stove and boil for about 10 minutes, then dry thoroughly before you put it away. This kills any germs or bacteria, keeping your toy super hygienic and also making it safe for sharing, if that’s something you want to do.

If you’re using it between partners without sterilising in between (or wanting to use it for anal and vaginal play in the same session,) it’s an ideal shape to be condom-compatible. If you’re using the larger size toy, I recommend a larger condom to ensure against breakage – 8″ is bigger than an average bio-cock and regular size condoms are really designed for slightly smaller dicks than this.

For silicone toys, water-based lube is recommended.

So Do I Recommend It?

Yes – very much so. If you’re looking for a realistic style dildo at an affordable price, you can’t go far wrong with these.

Lifelike Lover dildos are currently on a special offer – buy any two, get 30% off.

Thanks to Lovehoney for providing me with the Lifelike Lover Luxe Silicone Dildo 8″ in purple for this review. Affiliate links have been used in this post. All views are, as always, my own. Pictures are property of Lovehoney and cannot be used without express permission.

[Toy Review] Vain Toys Laid Back Dildo

Vain Toys is a new European company – specifically, they’re based in Denmark – whose goal is to produce “unique, fun and funky” sex toys, all of which are also body-safe. I love small companies who hand-make their products and really care about their consumers, so I was delighted when owner Alex reached out and asked to commission a review of the toy of my choice from their collection.

My choice of toy…

Vain only carry 10 toy models currently, 7 dildos and three butt plugs, but they all look so good it was hard to decide. After much deliberation, I chose the Laid Back dildo. Like all Vain toys, it comes in a choice of any one of twenty (20!) colours, and you can also add gold or silver glitter and choose between a suction cup or flat base. I went for deep purple with silver glitter (because of course I did, have you met me!?) and a suction-cup base.

The Vain Laid Back dildo, in purple, sitting on an open notebook with two little purple silicone hearts.It’s absolutely beautiful, as you can see from the picture. The purple is a really vibrant, rich colour which goes perfectly with the silver glitter, and the hand-poured silicone gives a gorgeous swirly effect. I cannot even tell you how happy this toy makes my little #SparkleFemme heart.

My toy arrived within 8 days (impressive, considering that they’re all custom-made to order) and discreetly packaged in a plain box. Inside, I was really impressed with the presentation. The toy came in its own draw-string organza bag – perfect for storage! – and with it were two little silicone hearts (presumably made with the leftovers from the mold) and a little bag of sweeties. Really nice, thoughtful presentation. I have already asked my partner The Artist if they can make one of the little hearts into a necklace for me.

Stits, stats ‘n’ safety stuff

The Laid Back dildo is a sizeable beast. The insertable length is 6.5″ and the diameter at the widest point is about 1.8″, or a 5.5″ circumference. The base is about 3.5″ wide, which makes the toy completely safe for anal play, and the suction cup enables it to stick firmly to any solid surface. It’s made of lovely premium silicone, which is non-toxic and non-porous, and the colours come from “body-safe cosmetic mica made from natural minerals.” In other words, no nasties that can harm your body!

Being pure silicone and without motors or anything, the easiest and most thorough way to clean this toy is to boil-sterilise it. Just pop it in a pan of boiling water on the stove for ~10 minutes, then rinse off and leave to dry. If you do this, it’s completely safe to share this toy with a partner even if you’re not fluid-bonded. If you want to share without sterilising between partners, the shape of this toy is very condom-compatible. Given the size, I recommend using a larger condom to ensure against breakage.

So how did I get on with it in use?

I love the feeling of Vain’s silicone. It’s really soft and squishy and bendable. I found these qualities ideal in use, because the Laid Back is definitely at the large end of the type of dildos I like to use. With a generous slathering of my favourite water-based lube and taking it nice and slowly, I managed to get the whole toy inside me comfortably. If you like very rigid toys, these products might not be for you. But personally, I found the silicone to be exactly the right blend of firmness and flexibility. Matte texture silicone can be a little “grabby” against skin, so lube is highly recommended. (Then again, with me lube is always highly recommended).

The large base made the toy easy to hold and manipulate when I was using it by hand, and I found the suction cup sturdy and reliable for hands-free use.  The base is a little too wide and thick to use comfortably with my harness, so if you’re wanting to use a Vain toy for strap-on play I recommend getting the regular flared base.

The curve is absolutely gorgeous and is mainly what drew me to this toy in the first place. I orgasm really easily from G-spot stimulation, and so I gravitate towards toys that curve in just the right way to hit the sweet spot. In this regard, the Laid Back dildo definitely didn’t disappoint. The shape is what I would describe as semi-realistic – the shaft and head shape somewhat resembles a bio-cock, but the curve of the head is more pronounced than your average factory-installed bits – though, of course, bodies vary tremendously!

The Laid Back dildo retails for €62 (about £55) which is a really reasonable price for a hand-made toy of this calibre. The rest of the range varies from €48 to €70.

Verdict: ★★★★★

Recommended for: folks who like G-spot stimulation, anyone who likes curved toys, fans of semi-realistic designs, people who want their toys bright coloured and glittery, and length/girth combination lovers.

Thanks to Alex and Vain Toys for supplying me with this product and sponsoring a review. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Please consider buying from small companies like Vain Toys – it’s so important to support independent, ethical companies who prioritise customer happiness and body-safety. Photo is by me. Do not steal my pictures.

If you want to support me in bringing more content and honest product reviews to you, you can buy me a coffee.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Valentine’s Dildo

I’ve been a Godemiche fangirl ever since I first encountered their beautiful, unique, colourful and fun dildos at Eroticon last year. So imagine my delight when they, via the always-wonderful Molly, offered me and my bits an early peek at their new Valentine’s design.

It looks like this:

The Godemiche Valentine's dildo, a purple and white sparkly dildo with little purple hearts.

The picture really doesn’t fully do it justice. It is white and purple, and sparkly with little hearts. I squealed so hard when I took it out of the delivery box and ran upstairs to show it to Mr CK, who was quite bemused at how delighted I was.

Facts ‘n’ Figures

The toy’s diameter is about 1.6″ at the widest point, and the total insertable length is about six inches. It’s got a large, round base which makes it harness-compatible and also anal-safe. (Can we just talk for a minute about how much I want to put this into my strap-on and fuck another cute femme with it!? Because seriously.)

My ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
This is a limited-edition toy and will be retailing for £35, which is an absolute steal for a hand-poured silicone dildo of this quality!

Appearance: ★★★★★
My inner femme is squealing with delight at this toy. Look at it! It’s glittery with little purple hearts! I love it so much I want to put it out as a display item almost as much as I want to stick it in my genitals.

Feel: ★★★★★
It’s made of beautiful matte silicone, which is nice and soft as well as flexible. The curve and shape of the head mimics a bio-cock. The tip’s angle is just right to deliver glorious pressure to my G-spot. I also found it to be the perfect size for me – I’m not much of a size-queen, especially where length is concerned (my entire genital area will pack up and go “NOPE” if anything hits my cervix) but I like to feel pleasantly full, and this dildo delivered in that regard. Combined with my Doxy on my clit, it gave me an explosive orgasm.

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
The base fits neatly in my hand, making it super easy to hold and manipulate. It slid in smoothly with just a coating of water-based lube and is delightfully simple and comfortable to use.

Care, Cleaning & Body Safety: ★★★★
All Godemiche dildos are made from premium quality silicone, which is non-toxic and non-porous, meaning it’s completely body safe and should last for years if properly cared for.

Clean-up is easy. You can wash silicone dildos with soap and water, wipe them clean with a sterile medical wipe, or boil them in a pan of water for a few minutes to sterilise completely. Being basically penis-shape, it’s the perfect shape to use with a condom if you’re sharing it. Silicone is safe to use with both latex and latex-free condoms.

Overall score: ★★★★★
From my perspective at least, this toy is basically perfection in dildo form. If you are (or if you know) a sparkle-femme then you need this in your life.

Thank you to Godemiche for sending me this toy in exchange for an honest review. Thanks also to Molly for facilitating setting this up. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Please support small businesses like Godemiche by buying their products, and if you’d like to support my work I will gladly take a virtual coffee. Photo is by me. Don’t steal it, thanks.