[Toy Review] Je Joue MiMi

If you’ve been reading my reviews for any amount of time, you will understand that I am a power queen. It’s really hard for a toy to score well with me on intensity/power level, because, well… my clit thinks vibrations can go big or fuck off.

I’ve heard Je Joue’s line of toys referenced on multiple occasions as being good picks for power fans, but this is the first time I’ve got to try one out for myself. My new friends at The Pleasure Garden shop generously sent me one to review.

The Je Joue MiMi, a small pink pebble shaped clitoral vibrator, shown from the front and side.As soon as I turned it on in the palm of my hand, I knew I was going to be impressed with this toy. Even on the lowest setting, the vibrations are deep and rumbly. But first, let’s take a look at some facts.

The Je Joue MiMi is a small (8.2 x 5cm) pebble-shaped silicone clitoral vibrator. It’s rechargeable via a magnetic USB cable, so you can plug it in to either the wall or your computer to charge. It has 5 vibration patterns and 5 levels of intensity, starting with that low rumble I mentioned and building up to some impressively powerful higher settings.

The MiMi came beautifully packaged in a classy purple box. Inside that is another black box which doubles up as ideal storage for the toy. Top marks for presentation.

But how did it function?

I tried out this baby during some sleepy afternoon sex with Mr CK. I was ready for a good hard clitoral orgasm, so of course – because he’s an evil bastard – he made me put the toy on my clit on the lowest setting, knowing that wouldn’t be enough to get me off. And it wasn’t, but… it was pretty damn effective at warming me up and getting me closer to the edge.

By the time he finally relented and allowed me to turn it on full, it took me less than a minute to come really hard. That’s no easy feat for me, even when I’m really horny. That’s testament to how good this toy is!

Another thing you’ll know if you’ve been reading my work for any length of time is that I don’t like vibration patterns. I find them offputting and annoying at worst, and “meh” at best in 95% of cases. The patterns the MiMi offers are better than some, but still not really for me. The constant vibration setting, though, I really can’t fault.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The MiMi retails for £65. This price point will make it inaccessible to some, but it’s also much better than many even higher-priced toys I’ve tried. Really good value for money if you can afford it (and comes with a 1 year warranty.)

Materials: ★★★★★
The entire toy is lovely matte silicone, which is beautifully soft to the touch as well as non-porous and body safe.

Appearance: ★★★★
I don’t love that it’s pink – but that’s a matter of personal preference. It’s at least a nice rich pink, not that horrible neon colour of some cheap toys. It does also come in lilac, purple and black if one of those colours is more your style.

In its favour, it’s really small and cute. Pleasure Garden describe it as “shaped like a smooth river pebble,” which is pretty accurate.

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
Did I mention this toy is tiny? I have really small hands and it still sat neatly in my palm. It’s VERY light, too – only 78g. This means the vast majority of people won’t have any trouble holding and using it.

The interface is intuitive – three buttons: on/up, off/down, and change pattern. I like that you can cycle through the speeds really easily. The only disavantage I can find is that the buttons are so small that you need to look closely to make sure you’re pressing the right one. They press easily and make a satisfying “click”. With the toy being so small, it’s easy to operate the buttons during use without breaking your flow or moving positions.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
The MiMi is smooth silicone and is waterproof, which makes clean-up a breeze. You can wipe it with a sterile medical wipe, or use warm water for a more thorough cleaning. You could pop it into a condom or use with another barrier if you’re sharing it between partners without sterilising. As ever, water-based lube is recommended.

Versatility: ★★★★★
The MiMi has 5 patterns and 5 different speeds to mix and match, making for a really customisable vibe. It’s also waterproof, so you can use it in the bath or shower too. One of the things I love about Pleasure Garden is that they don’t gender the marketing of their toys – and quite correctly point out that though this toy is designed for clits, it will also work really well for dicks, perineums, nipples… or even backs!

Intensity:
★★★★★
I’m really, really impressed on this score. The only other toy I’ve tried that comes close in terms of vibration strength against small size is the We-Vibe Tango (another long-time favourite!) It is rare I can orgasm in less than a minute from something that fits in the palm of my hand. A perfect little powerhouse.

Overall Score: ★★★★★
It’s a five out of five from me, because the downsides are few but the pros are many. If you have a clitoris, or any body part, that likes strong and rumbly vibrations, I don’t hesitate to recommend the MiMi.

Thank you to the lovely folks at The Pleasure Garden for sending me the MiMi to review. Buying toys from them supports a small, ethical, feminist business – which is something we all need more of in the world! – and also supports the blog as I receive a small commission through my affiliate links. This doesn’t affect my views on the product which are, and will always be, my own.

Image is property of The Pleasure Garden and reproduced here with permission.

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration

Spoiler: in my eyes (and cunt) at least, this toy is pretty dang close to perfection.

Hello darlings! It’s time for another installment of “Amy puts things on her junk and then writes about it,” AKA a sex toy review.

After a rocky start with the original Pro 2, I’m now a big fan of Satisfyer’s products. I wasn’t sure they could top what they’ve already done with the newest line, but I was ready to be surprised… and surprised I was. You may remember their G Spot Rabbit, which I reviewed recently. Well, now it’s time for the next new offering: the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration.#

The Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration, a white banana shaped sex toy with rose-gold accents.

The Pro Plus Vibration boasts the Satisfyer suction wave stimulation we know and love… but with this iteration, they’ve added vibrations into the mix. And ohhhhh godddddd, y’all. I love it. I love it so much.

Before I gush too much, let’s take a closer look…

The Pro Plus Vibration is a curved toy, shaped a bit like a banana and about 6 inches long. It has 11 suction intensity settings as well as 10 vibration settings (3 constant speeds and 7 patterns). These are controlled independently with two separate buttons.

It works by creating a kind of vacuum around the clitoris with a silicone nozzle, and stimulating it via rapid pulses of air. The difference with this version is that the nozzle also vibrates.

The Pro Plus Vibration is fully waterproof and uses a magnetic USB charger.  It is unfortunately a little loud, but my partner said he couldn’t hear it from the next room when the door was closed.

Okay. Can I gush now?

The first thing to note is that this latest offering from Satisfyer brought me to orgasm much quicker than any of their previous lines. Yes, the vibration really does make that much difference.

I don’t think my clit has ever been quite so happy in my life, except possibly the first time I introduced it to the Doxy. I came so hard I’m pretty sure I woke the neighbours.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The Pro Plus Vibration retails for £79.99 at full price, which is in line with the rest of Satisfyer’s range. Despite the slightly higher price point, they’re great value for money and come with a 10-year manufacturer’s warranty for peace of mind.

Materials: ★★★★★
The whole toy is coated in smooth, silky silicone, which is both body-safe and lovely to the touch. The accents are plastic.

Appearance: ★★★★★
I love the white-with-rose-gold-accents aesthetic of the new Satisfyer line. They’re minimalistic and classy, as well as standing out by virtue of being so unusual. This one REALLY reminds me of a medical device, even more than the last one did, which… yeah, I have some Kink Feelings about that.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
The “banana” shape is really ergonomic and fit neatly into my (tiny) hand. The buttons are super easy to press and the controls intuitive – you control the pressure waves with the main up/down button, and the vibrations with a separate smaller button. My only complaint here is that you can only cycle one way through the vibration settings. This isn’t a huge problem for me as I’m a “put it on high and leave it there” kind of girl, but it’s something to be aware of.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★
The Pro Plus Vibration is silicone and waterproof, so you can wipe it down with a sterile wipe (I recommend buying from medical suppliers) or submerge it in water to clean it thoroughly. The silicone nozzle tip also detaches from the part with the motor, so you could boil this piece separately to sterilise it completely.

Previous Satisfyer lines such as the Pro 2 have included spare nozzles, and I do wish they also put these in with the newer products. Being able to swap out nozzles would be a real plus in the safer sex department.  As with all suction toys, it’s not really possible to use them with a barrier.

Versatility: ★★★★★
The Pro Plus Vibration has 10 different vibration settings and 11 suction settings, which you can control independently of each other. It’s also waterproof, in case using toys in the bath is your jam.

Intensity:
★★★★★
Full disclosure: if this toy was only a vibrator, I might give it 3 stars for intensity. The vibrations alone aren’t super strong and are a little on the buzzy side on the higher settings. But the vibration is secondary to the suction stimulation, and is just the right level of intensity to be a nice add-on without distracting from the main event. The suction itself is the most intense I’ve yet experienced on any Satisfyer toy, and made my clit very happy indeed.

Overall Score: ★★★★★
Despite some very small flaws, I’m giving this toy five out of five because it just gave me one of the best damn orgasms I’ve had in a really long time.

Thanks to the folks at Satisfyer for sending me their new products in exchange for an honest review! Please support me by buying yours from Lovehoney or SheVibe with one of the affiliate links in this post. Image is property of Satisfyer and reproduced with permission.

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit

The first time I tried a rabbit toy, I simply didn’t get what the hype was all about. I found it cumbersome to use, lacking in the kind of clitoral power I needed, and it was ugly to look at. As it turns out, though, I don’t actually hate all rabbit toys. I just hate a lot of them.

(#NotAllRabbits)?

I am pleased to report that I was very pleasantly surprised by the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit. Given my general ambivalence to vibrations on my G-spot and the fact that my cunt is way too picky and fickle for most dual-stim toys, this is an achievement in itself.

Let’s take a look…

The Satisfyer Pro G Spot Rabbit, a while silicone rabbit style sex toy with rose-gold accents.The shape of the Satisfyer G-Spot Rabbit is very much like a typical rabbit style vibrator, only instead of vibrating “ears,” it’s got one of Satisfyer’s signature suction-nozzle pressure wave clitoral stimulators. It’s white silicone with a rose gold button and a tiny rose gold accent around the clitoral arm.

The clitoral arm is rigid, while the insertable arm is flexible and tapers to a gentle point. The whole toy is about 9 inches in length, with an insertable length of 5 inches and a diameter of about 1.6 inches at the widest point. It’s  USB rechargeable and fully waterproof.

How did I find it?

Short version: I loved it.

Long version: I loved it, BUT… it’s not a “quick wank before bed” toy. It took me nearly an hour to get off with it (I measure this from cold-to-orgasm), but the whole experience was so pleasurable that I didn’t mind. It was a genuinely enjoyable slow build, not trying to eke an orgasm out of a toy that I’d really rather just throw across the room.

I don’t think I’ll be using it frequently, but it’ll be a toy I reach for when I’ve got some time and want to treat myself to a long, slow session with a delicious orgasm at the end of it.

I will say that I came so hard I think I woke the neighbours.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
It’s currently retailing for £79.99. This is about in line with Satisfyer’s typical price point. Sadly, it will be too expensive for some budgets, but you’re really paying for quality (and a 10 year manufacturer’s warranty!) so I am happy to recommend it as good value for money if you’re in the position to splash out for a toy.

Materials: ★★★★★
The material is lovely matte silicone, which is beautifully soft to the touch as well as non-porous and body safe. The accents and on/off button are plastic.

Appearance: ★★★★
It’s white, y’all! White! I have literally never owned an almost-entirely-white sex toy until now. I kind of love it just for being so unusual. The accents are rose gold, as I mentioned above. The whole aesthetic is quite stylish in a minimalistic sort of way.

For some reason, it being white and so plain kind of makes me think of a medical device, which… yeah, that hits some kinks for me.

Ease of Use: ★★★
It’s not the lightest toy out there, but the weight is not at all unreasonable considering the size. The shape is ergonomic and the handle sat neatly and comfortably in my hand.

The buttons take some getting used to. The bottom gold button controls the internal arm, cycling through the speeds and the various patterns of vibration. Unfortunately you can only scroll through one way, which is WAY TOO COMMON as a thing in general and always pisses me off. The second white button, situated above the gold one, controls the clitoral stimulator, which has various speed settings. Thankfully, this one turns down as well as up.

The white button is super easy to press. The gold one has to be pushed a bit more firmly. I found the buttons well-placed during use of the toy.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★
The Satisfyer Pro Rabbit is silicone and is waterproof, which makes clean-up a breeze. You can wipe it with a sterile medical wipe, or submerge in water for a more thorough cleaning.

Unfortunately, though you can put a condom over the internal arm, it’s pretty much impossible to use a barrier with the clitoral stimulator. However, the nozzle tip is removable for easier cleaning, so you can sterilise it or even swap it out between partners for extra safety.

Versatility: ★★★★
This toy has three possible constant speed settings on the and 7 different patterns of vibration. There’s also 11 speeds for the clitoral stimulator. What I really love about this toy is that you can control each of the two arms completely independently of each other.

I really like feeling full but don’t much care for vibrations on my G-spot, so it worked best for me when the insertable arm was inside me but switched off. Your mileage may vary, and the beauty of this toy is that you can mix and match the settings in whatever ways work for you. It’s also waterproof so you can take it in the bath or shower if that’s your thing.

Intensity:
★★★★
The clitoral stimulator is about the level of intensity I expect from Satisfyer products, which is plenty. Any more intense and it would probably be painful! The strength of the vibrations on the G-spot arm are decent, though a little on the buzzier side. This wasn’t a problem for me (again, I don’t like vibrations inside so I just switched the damn thing off and used that arm like a dildo). But G-spot loving power queens might find it not strong enough.

Overall Score: ★★★★
Overall a good toy which I enjoyed using. If I could change one thing, it would be to make the main button easier to press – a pretty small complaint in the scheme of things. If you enjoy Satisfyer’s range of pressure-wave toys and enjoy using an insertable and clit toy at the same time, I’d happily recommend the Satisfyer G-Spot Rabbit.

Support me by buying your Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit from Lovehoney or SheVibe.

Satisfyer sent me this toy in exchange for an honest review. I use affiliate links within the post. If you buy toys from them, I make a small commission which helps me to keep doing this work. All opinions are, and will always be, my own.

Image is property of Satisfyer and not to be used without their express permission.

[Toy Review] Godemiche Valentine’s Dildo

I’ve been a Godemiche fangirl ever since I first encountered their beautiful, unique, colourful and fun dildos at Eroticon last year. So imagine my delight when they, via the always-wonderful Molly, offered me and my bits an early peek at their new Valentine’s design.

It looks like this:

The Godemiche Valentine's dildo, a purple and white sparkly dildo with little purple hearts.

The picture really doesn’t fully do it justice. It is white and purple, and sparkly with little hearts. I squealed so hard when I took it out of the delivery box and ran upstairs to show it to Mr CK, who was quite bemused at how delighted I was.

Facts ‘n’ Figures

The toy’s diameter is about 1.6″ at the widest point, and the total insertable length is about six inches. It’s got a large, round base which makes it harness-compatible and also anal-safe. (Can we just talk for a minute about how much I want to put this into my strap-on and fuck another cute femme with it!? Because seriously.)

My ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
This is a limited-edition toy and will be retailing for £35, which is an absolute steal for a hand-poured silicone dildo of this quality!

Appearance: ★★★★★
My inner femme is squealing with delight at this toy. Look at it! It’s glittery with little purple hearts! I love it so much I want to put it out as a display item almost as much as I want to stick it in my genitals.

Feel: ★★★★★
It’s made of beautiful matte silicone, which is nice and soft as well as flexible. The curve and shape of the head mimics a bio-cock. The tip’s angle is just right to deliver glorious pressure to my G-spot. I also found it to be the perfect size for me – I’m not much of a size-queen, especially where length is concerned (my entire genital area will pack up and go “NOPE” if anything hits my cervix) but I like to feel pleasantly full, and this dildo delivered in that regard. Combined with my Doxy on my clit, it gave me an explosive orgasm.

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
The base fits neatly in my hand, making it super easy to hold and manipulate. It slid in smoothly with just a coating of water-based lube and is delightfully simple and comfortable to use.

Care, Cleaning & Body Safety: ★★★★
All Godemiche dildos are made from premium quality silicone, which is non-toxic and non-porous, meaning it’s completely body safe and should last for years if properly cared for.

Clean-up is easy. You can wash silicone dildos with soap and water, wipe them clean with a sterile medical wipe, or boil them in a pan of water for a few minutes to sterilise completely. Being basically penis-shape, it’s the perfect shape to use with a condom if you’re sharing it. Silicone is safe to use with both latex and latex-free condoms.

Overall score: ★★★★★
From my perspective at least, this toy is basically perfection in dildo form. If you are (or if you know) a sparkle-femme then you need this in your life.

Thank you to Godemiche for sending me this toy in exchange for an honest review. Thanks also to Molly for facilitating setting this up. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Please support small businesses like Godemiche by buying their products, and if you’d like to support my work I will gladly take a virtual coffee. Photo is by me. Don’t steal it, thanks.

[Toy Review] Mantric Rechargeable Wand Vibrator

I love wands. They’re pretty much my favourite kind of toy. So of course, I jumped at the chance to test out the rechargeable wand from the new Mantric range. It looks a little something like this:

The Mantric magic wand, a black silicone wand style vibrator with an LED panel on the handle.

The Basics

The Mantric wand is on the smaller end for a wand, at only 9.5″ long and with a head circumference of 5.4″. It has 7 modes or patterns of vibration, and each one can work on any of five speed settings. The handle is slightly curved and it has a classic wand head. It is made of black silicone and features an LED light panel on one side of the handle which changes colour depending on which setting you’re on.

The box for the Mantric Wand vibrator - a simple cardboard box with a mandala logo and the word "Mantric" on the front.It is USB rechargeable, fully waterproof, has a travel-lock (because no-one wants their vibe turning on as you go through airport security!) and comes packaged in an minimalistic brown cardboard box – pictured left – with the Mantric branding on the front. (The mantric logo is a classy-looking mandala, then when you look closer you see it’s made of cocks and vulvas. Frankly, I am here for this).

My Experience

I tried this toy for the first time with Mr CK. He was Topping me, and using the toy on my clit while holding my vaginal opening shut with his fingers (because I am into chastity/denial play and this is my jam).

I’ve mentioned before that even though my Doxy is pretty much my favourite thing ever, it doesn’t actually lend itself super well to being used on me by a partner – it’s so intense that it quickly becomes painful if it’s even slightly in the wrong spot, and the head is so big that my partner struggles to see exactly where it’s sitting against my body. A toy with significant enough power to get me off but without the sheer intensity of the big wands is the sweet spot for me… and in that respect at least, this toy delivered.

Unusually, some of the patterns were quite enjoyable! It was still the always-magic constant vibration/high speed combo that tipped me over the edge, but the gentle wave setting and the quick, sharp bursts setting were surprisingly pleasant.

Overall, imperfect but enjoyable and did the job. Read on for the details…

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The Mantric wand retails for £59.99, which puts it squarely into the realm of a mid-range toy. It’s a reasonable price for the quality.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s almost entirely silicone (apart from the light panel and a slim band where the body joins the head). This makes it non-porous, body-safe and a delight to handle and use.

Appearance: ★★★★
Mr CK and I differed on this one! I like the sleek design and the fact that it’s black – which is refreshingly free of gendered connotations/assumptions. Plus, I think the LED light panel is a really fun, swanky touch. He’s more a functional type than me and thinks the LED panel is gimicky and pointless. The Mantric range toys are all either black or a dark pinkish-purple colour.

Ease of Use: ★★
Plus points: it’s very light, and the ergonomic handle and intelligent button placement makes it easy and intuitive to hold and manipulate during use.

Unfortunately, I do have a few gripes about the user-friendliness: Getting it to turn on is not intuitive. You have to press the middle of the three buttons, which puts it into “standby” mode, then press it again, then pick the setting you want. I’ll be keeping the instructions for this one because, if I don’t use it for a bit, I can see myself forgetting how to switch it on. The second annoyance is that you can only change the setting one way – so if you skip past the one you want, you have to cycle alllll the way back through again.  You can change the speeds up or down, which is a plus, but in terms of changing the pattern it’s up up up only.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★
The Mantric wand is completely waterproof, meaning you can submerge it into warm water for a thorough cleaning. You can also give it a quick clean between uses with a sterile medical wipe – remember to pick body-safe wipes!

There is a seam where the plastic band meets the head and handle,which could trap germs. Take extra care on this area when cleaning. This toy doesn’t come with a storage bag, which I would have liked. Individual storage bags help keep toys clean and dust-free between uses.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Mantric wand has 5 speeds and 7 settings, meaning it’s pretty versatile whatever type of vibration you like. It is pretty much a clitoral toy – you could insert the handle end, as it’s silicone, but I’d be worried about getting fluids and germs in the seam where the light panel joins the main body.  This wand is waterproof, so you could take it into the bath or shower if that’s your jam.

Intensity:
★★★★
More than adequate for the price-point and size! The vibrations are pretty rumbly at the lower levels, and a little buzzier at the higher ones. I’d recommend this vibe to someone who likes a good level of vibration intensity, but sometimes or always wants something less extreme than my favourite power-tool.

Overall Score: Image result for three and a half stars
A basically solid toy with some flaws. I enjoyed using it and will be using it again, though I don’t think it will go into the “reach for it every session” pile. I’d love to see a second edition released. With the user-friendliness issues ironed out, this would move from being a good toy to a great toy.

Buying your Mantric wand, or any toys, from Lovehoney using my affiliate links helps to support me and keep the blog going. Thanks to Lovehoney, who sent me this toy free of charge in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are, and will always be, my own.

[Toy Review] The Queen Bee by Hot Octopuss

It’s here! The Marmite of sex toys (probably only Brits will get that reference, sorry everyone else) is in my possession and…

…| am coming down very firmly in the “love” camp.

The Queen Bee by Hot Octopuss, a grey oscillating sex toy that is shaped like a hairbrush.

I’ve been wanting the Queen Bee, from Hot Octopuss (who I love!), ever since I saw the prototype last Eroticon. H.O. listened to their consumers and created a toy for vulvas using the same “PulsePlate” technology as their revolutionary Pulse toys for penis-owners.

In their words: “Unlike conventional sex toys, the Queen Bee uses a ‘piston’-type mechanism in order to generate extremely deep and rumbly oscillations.” Basically, it oscillates rather than vibrates.

Now, I am a lover of broad clitoral stimulation – pinpoint does it for me sometimes, but I have to be careful with this as it can cross into being painful really quickly. Toys with big heads that stimulate the whole clitoris and vulva are really where it’s at for me. There’s a reason the original Doxy is my favourite thing in the world, folks.

My experience with the Queen Bee each time I’ve used it was one of a slow-build orgasm. This isn’t a “get me off in 2 minutes from cold so I can sleep” toy, but more of a “luxurious, long, slow session that ends with an orgasm so explosive my partner can hear it from the other end of the house” toy. I love it. It’s staying in the little pile of toys I reach for regularly.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★
The Queen Bee retails for £119 from Hot Octopuss directly. This puts it in the higher price bracket but not off the scale for a high-quality toy. Don’t forget you can use my exclusive code, CK10, for 10% off before the end of December!

Materials: ★★★★
The naterial is TPE, which I will admit put me off initially as this tends to be a porous material (though it contains no phthalates or other nasties and is therefore technically non-toxic). However, Hot Octopuss uses medical-grade, non-porous TPE that can be thoroughly sanitised. When I asked my contact about this, they provided a handy info-sheet which is really thorough and reassuring. This transparency, combined with Dangerous Lilly’s endorsement, gives me full confidence to say that this toy is made of a body-safe material.

It doesn’t have quite the gorgeous sensual smoothness of silicone – it’s firm, though less harsh than hard plastic. The material is unfortunately a little grabby, so a spot of water-based lube really enhances the experience. (Then again, when DOESN’T lube make something better?)

Appearance: ★★★★
IT’S NOT PINK, Y’ALL. It doesn’t even come in pink, or in any kind of pastel or “girly” (ugh) shade at all. It’s a dark steely grey and looks a bit like a hairbrush. It’s not a beautiful or even a pretty toy, but weirdly I enjoy this about it.  I like something that’s purple and sparkly as much as the next femme, but the whole look of this toy just screams “I MEAN BUSINESS, I AM NOT HERE TO BE DECORATIVE” and frankly I am here for that.

Ease of Use: ★★★★
Opinions in the blogosphere vary over this one, but I find the Queen Bee reasonably easy and intuitive to use. It was 4 buttons in a line: On/Off, pattern change, speed up and speed down. They’re easy to press and I found it easy to change the setting mid-wank without breaking my flow. What I really liked about using the Queen Bee is that I didn’t have to press it as hard against my vulva as I do with a wand or other vibrator – in fact, the sensation was much stronger and more satisfying when I held it lightly against myself.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The Queen Bee is fully waterproof, making it easy to clean with hot water for thorough sanitising. You can also clean it with a body-safe alcohol wipe (I buy mine in bulk from medical suppliers.) It does have a HUUUGE seam where the oscillating plate joins the rest of the toy. Fluids and bacteria could easily get trapped here, so be extra thorough around this area when cleaning it. For this reason, I’d hesitate to share it without a barrier in a non fluid-bonded relationship. You could use it through a dam or other barrier, but I’m not sure how much that would impact the feeling of the oscillations.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Queen Bee has six different settings – constant and five different patterns – as well as multiple speed options to choose from. I found even the lower speeds quite rumbly and satisfying, though it did take the top speed to get me off. The Queen Bee is also waterproof, if taking your toys in the bath or shower with you is your thing. It’s advertised as having a “gentle warm up massage” sensation if you use the back (opposite the PulsePlate) but this was too weak to do much of anything for me. Those with less Power Queen tendencies than me may enjoy it, though.

As it looks like a hairbrush, I kind of want to use it as a spanking tool, but I don’t recommend actually trying this as it might damage the oscillating mechanism.

Intensity:
★★★★
It’s difficult to compare the Queen Bee, an oscillating toy, against a conventional vibrator, so I am going to resist doing so. Let’s just say it’s pleasingly rumbly on the lowest settings and pretty intense on the higher ones! Again, it’s definitely a slow-build toy for me, but I thoroughly enjoyed using it.

Overall Score: ★★★★
Definitely won’t do it for everyone. If you like pinpoint stim exclusively, this isn’t the toy for you. But if you like broad, rumbly sensations and are looking for something a bit different to classic vibrations, give the Queen Bee a try!

One final thing of note: MY GOD this thing is loud! Now I don’t really mind about toys being loud, because I live with my intimate partner and have no housemates, kids or family at home. But if you live with other people and need a discreet toy, this is not it.

Thank you to my friends at Hot Octopuss for sending me the Queen Bee in exchange for an honest review. The Queen Bee is available directly from Hot Octopuss, as well as Lovehoney and SheVibe. This post contains affiliate links. Image is property of Hot Octopuss and reproduced here with their permission.

[Toy Review] Fifty Shades Freed ‘Lavish Attention’ Vibrator

First, let’s address the elephant in the room.

I thought long and hard (stop snickering at the back!) about whether or not to request, or accept, any of Lovehoney’s new Fifty Shades Freed line of toys for review after attending their recent affiliate product showcase. In the end, I made a balanced decision that yes, I would review this line. Let me tell you why.

A close up of an elephant. For a review of the Fifty Shades Freed Lavish Attention vibrator.

To say I have issues with the Fifty Shades franchise is an understatement. I believe those books are not just poorly written and questionably researched portrayals of bad BDSM – I actually believe they’re really harmful. The way they’re written, and marketed, passes off stalking, psychological abuse, disregard for consent and even rape as romantic. Check out Jenny Trout’s series or my friend Christine’s blog if you would like to learn why more and more sex-positive feminists are speaking out against this series.

However. A terrible first introduction though it is, more and more people are finding BDSM and the kink and sex-positive communities via this franchise. They read the book or watch the film and get turned on by all the kinky sex. “I want to do that!” they think. Okay. So where do they go? Maybe they search online. If they’re lucky, they’ll find brilliant educational blogs. If they poke around for any length of time in the internet kinkosphere, they’ll probably land on Fetlife sooner or later. They might come to a munch. And they might go and buy a sex toy, possibly for the first time ever.

The seasoned kinksters among us may roll our eyes each February when the newest film brings the influx of “the Fifty Shades crowd” to our online spaces or our local munch. But if we do not welcome these people, we are doing them a great disservice. If we push them away or look down on them, we’re completely failing to live up to our purported values of inclusion, respect and community. Not only that, but pushing them away means they’re more likely to practice kink in unsafe and uninformed ways, imitating what they’ve read in that trilogy. If we welcome them in, they will have access to tremendous resources of knowledge, experience and education. I’ve seen plenty of people who came to kink via Fifty Shades grow into fantastic, skilled, responsible kinksters.

People who come to kink via less-than-ideal source material deserve resources and information. They deserve support, a loving community and the same access to education that every single one of us needed when we were new, regardless of our route into the community.

They also deserve safe and quality toys.

The way I see it, the majority of people who are likely to gravitate towards Fifty Shades branded toys will probably fall closer to the “new/inexperienced” end of the demographic spectrum. They may never have purchased a vibrator or dildo before in their life! They’ll probably be completely overwhelmed by the sheer quantity and variety of toys on offer. If Fifty Shades was their way in – or even if it wasn’t, but it’s still the main current cultural touchstone for “kinky sex” – they may well gravitate towards these branded toys. People feel comforted by the familiar.

This, in a nutshell, is why I am glad that Lovehoney have made this Fifty Shades Freed line in the way they have. Having seen most of the products in the flesh (um, as it were,) I feel happy to say they’re a body-safe, user-friendly and just flat out good quality line of toys. I’m glad that inexperienced folks, new to the world of sex toys, are going to get quality products and not some shitty jelly-rubber, phthalate-ridden piece of crap when they Google “Fifty Shades sex toys”. (And yes, this is the first link that comes up when you do that search. I checked.)

With that out of the way… what did I think of the actual toy?

The |Lovehoney Fifty Shades Freed Lavish Attention vibrator. A half moon shaped vibrator with a handle in a lovely plum colour;.The Lavish Attention vibrator is a dual clitoral and G-spot toy. Its shape is like a half moon on top of a handle. The internal part is nice and slim, with a circumference of about 4 inches at the widest part, and flexible. When this is inserted, the external part – which is more rigid – rests against the clitoris. Both vibrate. The Lavish Attention has 3 constant vibration speeds and 7 patterns. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof, travel-lockable, and comes with a handy – and stylish – purple storage bag.

I loved using it. I wasn’t sure I would, as dual-stim toys often aren’t very effective for me, but I like to broaden my horizons and expand my preferences. Personally, I found the shape and size of the Lavish Attention perfect to comfortably stimulate both my G-spot and clitoris without much weird maneuvering required.

Unusually, I enjoyed the vibration patterns on this toy. I think having internal stimulation slightly changes how my clitoris responds to things, though I am still figuring out exactly how this works. There are some caveats – read on for those! – but I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend the Lavish Attention to anyone looking for a good quality dual-stim toy.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
This toy retails at Lovehoney – currently the exclusive carrier! – for £54.99. This puts it squarely into the mid-price bracket, and in my opinion it’s reasonable value for the quality. I note that Lovehoney have a stellar returns policy.

Materials: ★★★★★
I can’t praise this enough. It’s premium quality matte silicone and feels absolutely gorgeous. It’s the kind of toy you just want to stroke again and again because it feels so lovely.

Appearance: ★★★★
One of the big plus points for the whole Freed range, for me, is how pretty they are. They’re all the same plum silicone with rose gold accents. The look is classy, sensual and sexy as fuck. If it didn’t have the Fifty Shades logo emblazoned upon it, it would be the perfect aesthetic for a sex toy in my opinion.

Ease of Use: ★★★
I generally find dual-stim vibes take some practice and some experimentation to find the best position to use them. This was no exception. I also found it slightly awkward to hold due to the positioning of the handle. It is nice and light, which is a big plus and particularly relevant for anyone who struggles to hold heavier toys due to disability or injury. My biggest gripe is that you can’t turn the speed and pattern settings down – if you want to get back to the previous setting, you have to cycle alllllll the way back through.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
You can clean the Lavish Attention, as with any silicone toy, with a sterile body-safe wipe. These are available cheaply in bulk from medical suppliers. This toy is completely waterproof which means you can submerge it to clean. The internal piece can easily be covered with a condom, but it’s not so easy to use with a barrier externally.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Lavish Attention has 3 speeds and 7 patterns, making it nice and versatile whichever you prefer. One feature I would have liked would be the option to control the internal and external vibrations independently of each other. The shape makes it safe for anal use, and I imagine the external stimulator could feel really nice against the perineum during anal play if that’s your jam. It is fully waterproof, so safe for bathtime play.

Intensity:
★★★★
As ever, please remember I am the biggest Power Queen who ever Power Queened. The vibrations were more than adequate and got me off, but I would have liked one or two higher settings. Considering that my preferred power level is “Doxy on speed,” though, I might be an outlier here. The vibration quality is a little buzzy, but not numbingly so.

Overall Score: ★★★★
A very solid dual-stim toy which I enjoyed using. Not perfect, but perfect doesn’t exist anyway. I’ve marked it up for being body-safe, fully waterproof, gorgeous looking and relatively quiet. It lost a few points for the annoying lack of a “down” control.

I don’t recommend this toy to lovers of girth – it’s definitely slimline – or those who can’t stand their vibrations being even slightly buzzy. But if you’re looking for a good quality, mid-priced clitoral and G-spot toy from a trustworthy retailer, and don’t mind the Fifty Shades branding, I suggest giving Lavish Attention a try!

The good folks at Lovehoney sent me the Lavish Attention vibrator in exchange for an honest review. This in no way affects my opinions which are, and will always be, entirely my own. Buying your sexy products through Lovehoney helps support me with a small commission and keep the blog going.

Elephant image is courtesy of Pixabay, a fab source of copyright-free images. Toy image belongs to Lovehoney and is reproduced here with their kind permission.

[(Not a) Toy Review] Here’s What Happened When We Tried a Terrible Cock Ring

From whence it came I do not recall. It must have found its way into my freebie bag at one sexy event or another. But somehow, this monstrosity came into my possession:

The Skins Vibe Ring, a clear jelly rubber cock ring with a small bullet vibe, sitting on its box. For a review.Because Mr CK is a very indulgent partner, and supportive of my penchant for putting strange things on my genitals and then oversharing about it on the internet, we decide we’d test it. Just for fun.

Well, it was… something. I’m not sure fun is quite the word.

This ‘Vibe Ring’ vibrating cock ring by Skins (better known for making mediocre condoms) looks and feels like something you’d buy for £3 from a machine in a seedy nightclub. It’s made of some kind of jelly rubber (the packaging is mysteriously quiet about its actual material) and just from handling it for a couple of minutes I can see its porous as fuck. Sweat and oils from my hands have leached into the rubber, turning its clear appearance opaque, and the squishy texture and dodgy chemical smell coming off it are dead giveaways for phthalates.

As a cock ring, it’s worse than useless. A cock ring is designed to restrict blood flow away from the penis, creating a stronger and longer-lasting erection. A lot of penis-owners report that this can be very pleasurable and give them stronger orgasms. This thing, though?

“I literally can’t feel it!” Mr CK declared when it was around his cock. It’s too stretchy and flimsy to do anything. Still, we were determined to give it a fair hearing, so we turned the little vibrating bullet on and I  hopped on board and started fucking him. In the me-on-top position, I could at least feel the vibrations – if you can call them that – against my clit. But, unsurprisingly, they were too weak and too buzzy to give me anything that I could define as pleasure. Mr CK reported that he could just barely feel the vibrations through his shaft but they were nowhere near to being pleasurable for him either. (And this is a man who definitely enjoys vibrations!)

We changed positions, him standing and me on my back, legs spread, on the end of the bed. This was worse. With every thrust, the damn thing buzzed against me in its completely useless and mildly distracting way. It was low-level annoying in the way that a mobile phone vibrating in your pocket can be. Only, you know, less likely to give me an orgasm.

“Ooh, it made you come!” Mr commented as he felt my cunt muscles clenching around his cock.

“Nope. That was all your dick, babe.”

“Shall we take this thing off?”

“Yes, lets do that.”

We tossed it aside and finished our fuck, which was much more satisfying once the stupid ring was safely on the other side of our very large bed. Afterwards, we snuggled in the afterglow and laughed about how utterly terrible this ridiculous excuse for a sex toy was.

“It feels like it would fit around my head,” he said, stretching it experimentally.

“Try it!” I dared.

And that, my friends, is how a sex session finished with my partner and I taking turns to wear a cock ring like a head lamp. I hope you enjoyed that mental image. You’re welcome.

TL/DR: Do not buy this toy or any other cheap, rubbery “single use” cock ring. For a simple, high quality cockring, try the Beginner or the Super-Soft C-Rings from Tantus. If you’re after one that vibrates, try the Desire Rechargeable from Lovehoney (and don’t forget to use discount code COFFKINK10 at checkout!)

The image featured in this post was taken by me. Don’t steal my photos, please! Links above are affiliate links. Doing your sexy shopping with my affiliates helps support me to keep the blog going.

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Desire Butterfly Hands-Free Vibrator

I love anything a bit unusual and different when it comes to sex toys. That’s why, when my friends over at Lovehoney offered me the product of my choice from the new Desire range to test and report on, I was immediately drawn to this one.

Facts ‘n’ Figures

The Butterfly is part of the new Lovehoney Desire range of luxury toys. I tested the clitoral pebble vibe a few months ago from the same range. The Butterfly is a wearable vibe which rests against the vulva and is held in place with a strap around each leg and one around the hips.

The underside of the Lovehoney Desire Butterfly, a purple vibe which is flat escept for a small raised ridge where the head of the Butterfly would be. Black elastic straps are attached.

It’s a smallish vibe, 4.2 inches in length. The underside (pictured right) is flat and smooth except for a bump of around 1 inch which sits against the clitoris. The harness is super adjustable, with a maximum width of 40 inches around the hips. I have wide hips and I found it very comfortable to wear.

The storage cases for Lovehoney's Desire products. A black square zip up case with the Lovehoney heart logo.

It’s remote-controlled. The vibe itself is rechargeable via USB, and the remote control takes one watch-style battery, which should last ages. All Desire toys come in their own stylish black case (pictured right) which is perfect for storage and travel. The Butterfly even features a travel lock, so no worries about it accidentally turning on in your bag!

 

My Experience

It took me a bit of experimentation to get the Butterfly to sit correctly against my body. I had to adjust the straps a few times to figure out the best placing for them so that the lovely ridge rested against my clit. After a few minutes and some very attractive wiggling in and out of bits of elastic, I found a position that worked and settled down with some smut for a nice wank.

The Butterfly has 8 patterns and 12 speeds, but I just wacked it up to “constant vibration, highest speed,” because that’s how my bits roll. I also realised, not for the first time, that entirely hands-free stimulation, while nice, very rarely makes me come. I prefer to have the toy I’m using pressed somewhat firmly against my vulva so I can grind against it. So I ended up pushing it against my body with one hand. This wasn’t really a problem for me, and wouldn’t be necessary for someone who doesn’t need such firm pressure in order to get off.

I found the Butterfly’s vibrations impressively strong for its size. Not strong enough to get me off in record time in the way a wand can, but thoroughly enjoyable for a nice slow wank! It took me about 40 minutes to go from “cold” to “orgasm” with the Butterfly. This would be a long time for some people but is quite normal for me if I’m not worked up before I start, especially with a toy I’ve never used before.

In conclusion: I really enjoyed this toy.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The Butterfly retails on Lovehoney for £74.99, which puts it at the higher end of the Desire toys’ price-range. It won’t be in everyone’s budget for this reason. However, the difference in quality from lower-priced toys, including Lovehoney’s own budget range, is noticeable. These toys look and feel luxurious. Overall, worth the price.

Materials: ★★★★★
The entire body of the Butterfly – AND the remote – are silky soft silicone. Silicone is my favourite because it’s non-porous, phthalate-free and completely body-safe. I recommend water-based lube with silicone toys (and just in general because it’s gentler on your body.)

Appearance: ★★★★★
It’s super cute and actually looks like a little butterfly! It also, if I do say so myself, looks really pretty when it’s on. It’s the same purple as the whole Desire range, which is a lovely colour and provides a really nice, classy look.

Ease of Use: ★★★
This one definitely took some practice. The interface is simple – you switch on the toy with a single button on the body, and then use the remote control to cycle through the settings. There are three buttons – speed up, speed down, and change pattern. It’s the positioning that can be a struggle at first. I suggest taking your time to experiment, try different positions for your body and the toy, and be prepared to adjust the straps a few times to make it work for you.

A quick note for anyone who, like me, has a natural bush: the straps do have a tendency to trap stray pubes if you’re not careful! Watch out for this if you don’t want a non-consensual wax job courtesy of your sex toy.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
Being pure silicone, the Butterfly can be cleaned with a sterile wipe (try the kind from medical suppliers, but make sure they’re body safe)! It’s waterproof, so you can submerge it fully in water to clean it thoroughly. The straps come off easily so they can stay dry when you wash the toy. Not condom compatible. You could use a barrier like a dental dam, if you want to share and are cautious about infection transmission.

Versatility: ★★★★
The Butterfly has 8 pattern settings and 12 speeds, so whatever you’re into, there will be a setting for you. It’s great for solo play, but could also enhance pleasure during intercourse. I’m already planning to wear it next time Mr CK bends me over the bed and fucks me from behind! Another way to use it with a partner would be to give your lover the remote and let them control the toy. It is waterproof, but I’m not sure I would bother using it in water as it seems like the straps would be a pain to dry.

Intensity:
★★★★
Not at all bad for the size. I would have preferred them a touch stronger and rumblier, personally. But they were more than adequate to bring me to orgasm.

Overall Score: ★★★★
A really nice little toy. I’d recommend it to folks who like gentler clitoral stimulation, and to anyone looking for something they can enjoy solo and with a partner. It’s also a great choice for anyone who needs a hands-free or low-energy toy for pain or mobility reasons.

Go get yourself one, and don’t forget to use code COFFKINK10 at checkout for 10% off!

Thank you to my affiliates at Lovehoney, who sent me this toy in exchange for an honest review. If you use one of my links to buy, I may make a small commission. This does not in any way affect my views which are, and will always be, my own.

The images featured in this post are property of Lovehoney and are reproduced here with their kind permission.

[Toy Review] NS Novelties Purple Unicorn Tail

Thank you to the lovely folks at Latex Leather & Lace for gifting me this tail to review, since I nearly died of squee when I saw them at the shop opening.

The NS Novelties purple unicorn tail butt plug, boxed. For a product review.

What is it? Facts ‘n’ figures

It’s a silicone butt plug with a long wavy unicorn tail. The packaging, annoyingly, doesn’t say what the tail part is made from, but LLL helpfully inform us on their website that it’s polyester. It basically feels like doll hair.

The total insertable length is just shy of 4 inches, with a 4 inch circumference at the widest point. It’s not a tiny plug, so I wouldn’t suggest it for complete beginners, but it’s far from huge. As a somewhat experienced anal player, it’s a nice middle-range plug for me. I couldn’t keep it in all day, but I could probably wear it comfortably for an hour or two.

The NS Novelties purple unicorn tail butt plug on my desk. For a producr review.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The NS Novelties Unicorn Tail retails for £39.99 on Latex Leather and Lace’s site. It’s definitely on the higher end of price ranges I’ve seen for butt plugs, but much cheaper than other tails on the market.

Appearance: ★★★★★
It’s beautiful! Such a pretty purple colour (it also comes in pink, blue, and rainbow colours) and with a lovely long wavy tail. When the tail gets a little tangled, it’s easy to tidy it up with a hairbrush.

Feel: ★★★★
The silicone is super soft with a matte finish and feels wonderful. The plug is not too rigid, with that slight squish and flex that pure silicone has. My only gripe is that I would like the neck to be a bit longer and deeper. The gentle taper meant that I had to keep my butt muscles flexed to prevent the toy from sliding out when I was moving around with it inserted.

Care, Cleaning & Body Safety: ★★★★
Being pure silicone, the NS Novelties Unicorn Tail is completely body safe – free from phthalates, non-porous, hypoallergenic and all that good stuff. My only real concern is how to clean the tail portion, or if it’s even possible. Given its proximity to the insertable part, it will definitely pick up some butt-germs and lube. You could wash it in hot water with shampoo or a very gentle soap, but I am concerned this might damage it and I really don’t want to do that. We got around this issue by opting to use a condom, which covered the plug and the very top of the tail sufficiently as to not get any fluids or germs on it.

Overall score: ★★★★
A really nice little plug with a super cute tail – will definitely make the unicorn lovers out there squee!

Go get yourself one!

As a special treat for getting this far, here’s my bum!

Me lying face down with the NS Novelties Unicorn Tail plug inserted. For a product review.

All the images in this post are by me or my partner and are our property. Do not reproduce or copy them without our express permission.

Disclaimers: This product was provided to me in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Links in this post are not affiliate links. If you would like to support me while shopping with Latex Leather & Lace, please click through using the banner below.

The Latex Leather and Lace company banner.