Update 01.01.2020: Vain Toys have now closed down, meaning this toy is no longer available. I have removed dead links but left this post up for informational purposes.
Vain Toys is a new European company – specifically, they’re based in Denmark – whose goal is to produce “unique, fun and funky” sex toys, all of which are also body-safe. I love small companies who hand-make their products and really care about their consumers, so I was delighted when owner Alex reached out and asked to commission a review of the toy of my choice from their collection.
My choice of toy…
Vain only carry 10 toy models currently, 7 dildos and three butt plugs, but they all look so good it was hard to decide. After much deliberation, I chose the Laid Back dildo. Like all Vain toys, it comes in a choice of any one of twenty (20!) colours, and you can also add gold or silver glitter and choose between a suction cup or flat base. I went for deep purple with silver glitter (because of course I did, have you met me!?) and a suction-cup base.
It’s absolutely beautiful, as you can see from the picture. The purple is a really vibrant, rich colour which goes perfectly with the silver glitter, and the hand-poured silicone gives a gorgeous swirly effect. I cannot even tell you how happy this toy makes my little #SparkleFemme heart.
My toy arrived within 8 days (impressive, considering that they’re all custom-made to order) and discreetly packaged in a plain box. Inside, I was really impressed with the presentation. The toy came in its own draw-string organza bag – perfect for storage! – and with it were two little silicone hearts (presumably made with the leftovers from the mold) and a little bag of sweeties. Really nice, thoughtful presentation. I have already asked my partner The Artist if they can make one of the little hearts into a necklace for me.
Stits, stats ‘n’ safety stuff
The Laid Back dildo is a sizeable beast. The insertable length is 6.5″ and the diameter at the widest point is about 1.8″, or a 5.5″ circumference. The base is about 3.5″ wide, which makes the toy completely safe for anal play, and the suction cup enables it to stick firmly to any solid surface. It’s made of lovely premium silicone, which is non-toxic and non-porous, and the colours come from “body-safe cosmetic mica made from natural minerals.” In other words, no nasties that can harm your body!
Being pure silicone and without motors or anything, the easiest and most thorough way to clean this toy is to boil-sterilise it. Just pop it in a pan of boiling water on the stove for ~10 minutes, then rinse off and leave to dry. If you do this, it’s completely safe to share this toy with a partner even if you’re not fluid-bonded. If you want to share without sterilising between partners, the shape of this toy is very condom-compatible. Given the size, I recommend using a larger condom to ensure against breakage.
So how did I get on with it in use?
I love the feeling of Vain’s silicone. It’s really soft and squishy and bendable. I found these qualities ideal in use, because the Laid Back is definitely at the large end of the type of dildos I like to use. With a generous slathering of my favourite water-based lube and taking it nice and slowly, I managed to get the whole toy inside me comfortably.
If you like very rigid toys, these products might not be for you. But personally, I found the silicone to be exactly the right blend of firmness and flexibility. Matte texture silicone can be a little “grabby” against skin, so lube is highly recommended. (Then again, lube is always highly recommended).
The large base made the toy easy to hold and manipulate when I was using it by hand, and I found the suction cup sturdy and reliable for hands-free use. The base is a little too wide and thick to use comfortably with my harness, so if you’re wanting to use a Vain toy for strap-on play I recommend getting the regular flared base.
The curve is absolutely gorgeous and is mainly what drew me to this toy in the first place. I orgasm really easily from G-spot stimulation, and so I gravitate towards toys that curve in just the right way to hit the sweet spot. In this regard, the Laid Back dildo definitely didn’t disappoint. The shape is what I would describe as semi-realistic – the shaft and head shape somewhat resembles a bio-cock, but the curve of the head is more pronounced than your average factory-installed bits – though, of course, bodies vary tremendously!
The Laid Back dildo retails for €62 (about £55) which is a really reasonable price for a hand-made toy of this calibre. The rest of the range varies from €48 to €70.
Recommended for: folks who like G-spot stimulation, anyone who likes curved toys, fans of semi-realistic designs, people who want their toys bright coloured and glittery, and length/girth combination lovers.
Thanks to Alex and Vain Toys for supplying me with this product and sponsoring a review. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Please consider buying from small companies like Vain Toys – it’s so important to support independent, ethical companies who prioritise customer happiness and body-safety.
Photos by me.
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