I try really hard not to be prejudiced against a toy before I’ve even taken it out of the box. But I have to admit it: there was a part of me that hated the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples on sight. Perhaps that’s why it has languished at the bottom of my “to be reviewed” pile for six months.
My bias is a little bit because I get pissed off when “for couples” is used interchangeably with “to be used during penis-in-vagina intercourse,” as if that’s the only type of sex couples have. And, indeed, as if a “couple” always consists of a person with a penis and a person with a vulva.
It’s a little bit because I hate the late-nineties text speak tweeness of “4” instead of “for”.
And it’s a lot because I took one look at this fucking thing and thought, “there is no way that’s going to feel good.”
With All That Said, What is the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples?
The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples is a V-shaped, not-so-subtly modeled after other wearable vibrators such as those by We-Vibe. It’s a suction/air pressure toy that provides contactless stimulation via pulses of air or “pressure waves”.
There’s a large, bulky external part which sits against the vulva and houses the pressure wave clitoral stimulator. The second arm is shorter, slim, flexible, and designed to sit inside the vagina. This internal arm also vibrates.
The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples has two motors. The clitoral stimulator offers 11 different levels of intensity, and the internal arm has 10 vibration patterns. These are controlled by separate buttons and can be used together or independently.
The exterior is matte silicone, the buttons are plastic, and the silicone nozzle is removable for easier cleaning.
The Pro 4 Couples is waterproof and USB rechargeable. It retails for $58.95 directly from Satisfyer at the time of updating. Very few other toy retailers are now selling it, which leads me to believe it might be getting phased out.
Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples: What I Liked
No toy is all bad. (Scratch that: some toys are all bad).
It would be unfair not to acknowledge the good points of the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples, even though I think the overall product is shockingly terrible. Namely:
The air pressure of the suction stimulator is actually decent, and I liked that you can control the two motors separately. I hate internal vibrations, so being able to turn them off is pretty much essential if I am going to get any pleasure from a toy.
What I Didn’t Like
Ummm. Literally everything else?
The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples is so, so badly designed. For starters, it doesn’t stay in place! I struggled to get it to stay on my clitoris even while using it solo and consciously trying not to move. There is absolutely no way it would remain in position during any sort of thrusting..
The internal arm not only provided exactly zero pleasure, but was actually painful to use. This is quite a feat, considering how small it is. It tapers to a point for some godforsaken reason, and when the suction nozzle was over my clitoris this pointy end was poking me in the vaginal wall. Ouch. No. Trying to insert a penis or dildo alongside the toy just made this ten times worse.
Finally, the internal vibrations are so buzzy. I tried them on my clit just for fun (“fun” used incredibly loosely) and the entire top half of my vulva was going numb within a few seconds.
The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples is simply not fit for purpose.
Needless to Say, I Don’t Recommend This Toy. So What Should You Buy Instead?
If you’re looking for a pressure wave clitoral stimulator for solo use, get something like the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation or the Womanizer Premium 2. For dual clitoral and internal stimulation, get a good rabbit like the We-Vibe Nova 2 or the Rabbit Company Come Hither. If you want clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex, try a wearable vibrator like the We-Vibe Chorus or a wearable grinder like Godemiche’s Grind Rings.
I can kind of see what Sayisfyer was going for with the Pro 4 Couples if I squint, but it just misses the mark in so many different ways.
Thanks to Satisfyer for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post.