Content note: this post briefly discusses my wonky relationship with my body image, including weight (no numbers and no diet talk!)
Update 03/03/22: This piece has been discontinued.
Often, when I review or write about lingerie, I’ll try it on a couple of times, take some photos, and then basically never wear it again. It’s rare that I find a piece I genuinely just want to wear again and again and again.
My Wild Blooms Embroidered Body is one such piece.
Wild Blooms is Lovehoney’s latest lingerie offering. It features 3 different designs – a basque set, a bra set, and the body – each of which is available in Standard and Plus sizes. This means all the pieces can fit anyone from a UK size 6 to a size 24.
They’re all made of a sheer black mesh (polyester/elastane blend) and embroidered with colourful flowers in orange, blue, and shades of pink. I actually have a Monsoon dress in a very similar fabric which is one of my favourites!
I received the Embroidered Body to try out – let’s take a walk in the garden…
The Wild Blooms Black Embroidered Body
I love one-piece lingerie! This is partly because I am fundamentally quite lazy when it comes to my femme aesthetic – I enjoy things I can wear and look hot in without battling straps, suspenders, and sets with five separate pieces. (See also: the Catsuit of Joy, and the fishnet dress thing I got as a Halloween freebie and absolutely adore.) And, to be honest, if I’m wearing lingerie it’s likely because I’m going to a kink club, swing night or sex party. Therefore I want something I can take off for play and put back on again afterwards with a minimum of fuss!
So the Wild Blooms Embroidered Body was an obvious pick for me. I can get in and out of it in less than 3o seconds, and without getting tangled up in anything. Definitely an A+ for convenience!
Fit & Comfort
These pieces, like most of Lovehoney’s lingerie, don’t come in individual dress-sizes but in S/M/L etc. sizing. The website provides sizing guidance and I’ve generally found them to be fairly accurate. I’m currently wearing a size 14, so I ordered the Large and found it a good fit. I think when I was a size 16 I would have found it tight, so I recommend going up a size if you’re not sure. (Luckily, Lovehoney have a solid returns policy – just keep the tags on and send it back for an exchange if the sizing isn’t quite right!)
A word of caution to those with larger busts: this thing does not contain your boobs! Like, at all! Mine were either “barely contained” or “nipples falling out” depending on the position I was sitting/standing in. Of course, that can be a hot look which a lot of people enjoy! Smaller-busted people will find it provides a little more coverage.
The collar and crotch fasten with simple poppers. The fabric in these sections is somewhat stretchy to provide a flexible, comfortable fit. And, of course, the crotch fasteners offer the opportunity to have all kinds of fun without even taking the body off if you don’t want to!
I had a slight issue with the length of the sleeves. I have shorter limbs than average for my body size, and they were definitely too long for me. Luckily, they can be tucked under easily without ruining the look – and if you’re handy with a sewing machine, you could even turn them up with a few stitches.
My favourite thing about this piece? How disproportionately comfy it is compared to a lot of sexy lingerie! The mesh fabric is surprisingly soft. I expected it to be somewhat rough or coarse against my skin, but it really isn’t. It’s sitting next to me as I type and I keep running my hand over the lovely soft fabric. The embroidered sections are a little coarser than the plain mesh parts, but still much softer than I expected when I saw the picture. There are also no wires, no scratchy lace, no digging in or pinching. All around, I’m giving the Wild Blooms Embroidered Body top marks for comfort!
Care & Cleaning
Like a lot of lingerie, the Wild Blooms range is hand-wash only. Put it in a protective net bag and use the cold “hand wash” cycle on your washing machine, or just wash it with cold water and some mild laundry detergent in the sink. The fine mesh can tear easily, so be gentle with it! I recommend storing delicate pieces like this in a separate bag in your lingerie drawer/box – that way, it won’t snag on anything else and accidentally tear (bra clasps are the devil for this!)
Aesthetics & Sex Appeal
I feel so hot in this piece that I actually snapped some pictures immediately, posted them on Fetlife and sent them to my partners!
I have an “ugh” relationship with my body-image much of the time, especially due to a lot of weight gain in the last couple of years. So lingerie that makes me look in the mirror and go “yeah I’d fuck that” is like gold-dust. For me, I find the Wild Blooms Body draws attention away from areas of my body I feel self-conscious about (stomach; back fat) and towards the parts I feel really good about (waist/hip curve; amazing boobs.)
The aesthetic is feminine and elegant. The flower embroidery speaks straight to my femme heart, without being too over-the-top.
Yes, I love this garment!
The Wild Blooms Embroidered Body is available from Lovehoney for £44.99 at full price (but is currently on sale at £35.99!)
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this piece for review. All opinions are, as ever, my own. Affiliate links send a small commission my way, which helps to keep this blog going! Official product image is property of Lovehoney and used with permission. Other photos are by me.