Sometimes I get offered items for review and my internal response is “ugh, fine, I guess” if I’m not blown away by something but I think my readers will like it. Other times, I get offered something for review and I take one look and go “I NEED IT.” The Lustre range by Lovehoney was the latter.
Two categories of product that I’m eternally obsessed with are Things That Are Purple and Things That Are Shiny. Lustre is both.
After perusing the collection, I ended up choosing the Quarter Cup Body Harness to try. This is partly, let’s be honest, because I’m lazy and I enjoy one-piece items of clothing for that reason. But it’s also because the Body Harness is the only item in the range not to have full bra cups, and my typical experience with adjustable/one-size lingerie is that my boobs simply don’t fit. Ordering something where they’re meant to spill out seemed like a neat solution to this problem.
Let’s see how I got on, shall we?
TW: mentions of sizeism, please skip if that’s going to be difficult for you.
My first impression, when I took my Lustre Body Harness out of the packaging, was that I am simply in love with the colour! The lace is a gorgeous, rich purple and has a lovely, subtle shine to it that catches the light every time you move.
What I’m not so into is the “frayed edge” aesthetic of the lace. I understand what they’re going for here but I think it takes the elegant edge off the range and frankly looks a bit, well, scruffy. Of course, this is a personal preference and others may love it.
Getting into it…
My #LazyFemme tactics came back to bite me, here. One-piece this thing may be, but easy to get into (or out of) it is certainly not! Because everything – the collar, bra, mid-section and suspenders – is all joined together, the Lustre Body Harness is straps and straps and straps galore! It took me a couple of attempts to get into it. I kept being afraid I was going to rip something! I certainly won’t be wearing it on any occasion where getting out of and back into clothing might be an issue, such as a play party. Which is a shame because play parties are the main occasions where I tend to wear lingerie.
A couple of pro tips garnered through trial and error:
- Loosen all the adjustable straps first. It’s much easier to get into the garment then tighten them to fit you than trying to struggle into it and adjusting them as you go.
- Get into the harness feet-first, rather than trying to pull it over your head. But be careful as you ease it up over your body and into place. You don’t want to damage the delicate lace.
A word of warning: the Lustre Body Harness has build-in suspenders which are not removeable, so you’ll need to get some suitable stockings to wear with it.
Lingerie manufacturers everywhere, listen to me: I love you but can you all PLEASE STOP making things in “one size?”
This piece ostensibly fits a size 8-16. However, I wear a size 14 and I had most of the straps as extended as they’ll go, and it was still a bit on the small side. There is zero chance this item is going to fit someone who’s a size 16, and it’s really not ideal for anyone who is bigger than maybe a 12.
Instead of endlessly adjustable “one size” items, I’d love to see lingerie manufacturers just making things in a wider range of sizes. There are two plus size pieces in the Lustre range but this, unfortunately, is not one of them.
Once again, I feel that this piece was made with thin bodies in mind and the rest of us are left trying to squeeze ourselves into something which, though it might technically fit (just,) really wasn’t made for us.
The lace isn’t exactly soft, but I didn’t find it excessively scratchy or irritating either. The straps are a soft and stretchy material which feels nice against the skin.
The bra cups are the worst thing about this item, comfort-wise. Because they’re rigid and have underwires, they will only work well for a certain sub-section of bodies. They are far too small for my probably E or F cup boobs. (I don’t actually know what size I am but I was a DD a decade ago and they’ve definitely grown since then). The wires cut into my ribcage in a way that was first uncomfortable and then, after a while, became painful.
How did I feel wearing it?
This piece has grown on me over the several times I’ve tried it on. I love a lot of things about it: the way it leaves my back almost completely exposed, the way the middle section emphasises the curve of my waist and stomach, the fetishy look of the lace collar. I definitely feel hot when I look in the mirror wearing this one!
Unfortunately, because of the issues with the fit I don’t see myself wearing it regularly and certainly not for any length of time.
This one has so much potential! The design and aesthetic is absolutely gorgeous. If you’re a size 12 or smaller, I’m happy to recommend this piece. For those of us like me who are curvier, though, the problems with the fit are too great for me to be able to wholeheartedly recommend it.
The Lustre Quarter Cup Body Harness retails for £39.99 but at time of writing is on sale for £23.99.
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this piece in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post. Images are courtesy of Lovehoney and reproduced with permission.