“A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.”
– Joan Rivers
I thought I’d try something different today – this little poem is my contribution to this week’s Quote Quest, a meme by the gorgeous and talented LSB.
TW for sexism, references to sexual violence, slut shaming, body shaming.
It’s Different for Girls
“It’s different for girls,” they said.
Don’t go out late at night
Don’t take a different way home
Make sure your skirt’s not too short
Don’t be with a boy alone
Don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t
“It’s different for girls,” we heard.
Don’t wear your hair in a ponytail
Don’t have a second beer
Carry your keys in your fingers
Nurture the gift of fear
Be afraid be afraid be afraid
“It’s different for girls,” they told us.
Cover your body, don’t be a slut
Keep an eye on your drink
Laugh politely (but not too loudly)
“You were asking for it, don’t you think?”
“It’s different for girls,” we learned
Your body is open for public discussion
So look pretty (but don’t be a slut)
Don’t you know men only like hairless virgins?
You’ll never get a boyfriend like that.
“Boys will be boys,” they told us.
When what they really meant was
“And you will be held responsible
So you’d better start getting used to it”.
Check out my other Quote Quest writings and, if you’d like to support me, buy me a coffee! You can also sign up for Coffee Date, my free e-newsletter which comes out every other Wednesday.
You’re right, that women are held responsible for the behaviors of others. That also applies a little to those who identify differently… so my amab non binary children have been told that their change of gender from male is harmful to their compensation claim for damages after rape, because they will be perceived as having given confusing signals to their abuser. Victim blaming is still a power game and however you look at it, the power is still in the hands of those that are male above all other groups.
Oh amy, hard feels towards your poem!! It pisses me off how much we are told as women….!! Even typing that makes me angry!!
Ps. Thank you about the lovely words you said about me xx <3