Today’s review is something a bit different: instead of a toy, wearable item, or piece of kink gear, we’re looking at the Position of the Week book from Lovehoney. (Or, as I think it should be called, “Borderline Impossible Sex Positions for Improbably Athletic Straight People.”) Let’s get into it.

What is Position of the Week?

Position of the Week is a book of 52 sex positions (the idea being that there’s one for each week for a year. It’s a pocket-sized hardback book.

Each double-page spread includes a silhouette-style drawing of a couple having sex in the given position on the left page. The right page gives the position number, name, and a brief description.

Who Is Position of the Week For?

This book is very, very heterosexual.

Every position is designed with a cisgender male/female couple having penetrative (penis-in-vagina) sex in mind. The illustrations even feature a woman drawn in pink and a man drawn in blue. There’s also a lot of gendered language throughout (“he does X, she does Y”, “girl power”, and so on.) I

Seriously, it’s so freaking straight I can feel my queerness leaking out all over its pages.

A lot of the positions in this book would actually work for different body and genital configurations. Many of the positions would work just as well for two vulva owners using a strap-on, or for anal sex with any configuration of bodies.

So queer and trans folks absolutely could use it. But the language and the whole aesthetic is so cisheteronormative that it feels completely alienating as a queer person.

Consent Disclaimer

On the 3rd page, after the welcome but before the positions start, you get a little consent disclaimer. This states that you should talk before trying something new, that everything must be 100% consensual, and that you should stop if anything hurts or is uncomfortable.

It’s pretty much Consent 101 summed up in 33 words. But you know what? I’m here for it. Because fundamentally, this book isn’t for people like me. It’s not aimed at sex nerds who engage in non-traditional relationships and have long and nuanced conversations about sexuality out of academic as well as personal interest. This book is for people who are likely newer to sexual experimentation, many of whom might understand that consent is important but not have a sophisticated understanding of exactly what that means or how to talk about it.

Basically, what Lovehoney have done with this little one-pager helps to normalise and demystify consent conversations. And I’m very here for that.

So About the Actual Sex Positions, From Obvious to Impossible

Some of the positions in this book are pretty good. We have some obvious-but-decent classics (doggy style, sit-down sex, spooning) and some creative interpretations on classics like reverse cowgirl and standing sex.

Others, though, were definitely created for the athletically-inclined. No. 30 (“the Can-Can”) requires the person being penetrated to be able to get their foot on their partner’s shoulder while standing. That’s not a sex position, that’s a workout, and not one that’s going to be possible for the vast majority of bodies.

Positions like the “Standing Thrust” and “Up Against It” require the penetrating partner to be able to support most or all of their partner’s weight while thrusting. Again: for most people this is just not going to happen. And I’m going to go ahead and call sex position No. 47 (“the Raunchy Rider”) physiologically impossible for 99% of people.

This book clearly assumes that women are tiny, petite, and flexible, while men are muscular and strong. If that’s not you, it can lead to some pretty negative body feelings. (And it’s not most of us, by the way!)

On the plus side, a number of the position descriptions reference clitoral stimulation, which the vast majority of people with vulvas need in order to get off. So that’s something.

Verdict

Meh.

If you’re cisgender, heterosexual, skinny/strong, and athletic, you’ll probably get something from it. Otherwise, you might find a few interesting sex position ideas but largely be left thinking “…yeah but my body doesn’t work that way” (or “that is straight up impossible.)

Position of the Week retails for £6.99 from Lovehoney ($8.99 US). A fun stocking-stuffer if you’re within the very specific demographic it caters to. Otherwise, don’t bother.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.