Once in a while, I check the search terms people use to find me. For the last few months, the term “praise kink” has popped up again and again. Which is interesting, considering this is something I’ve never actually written about!
So I thought it would be fun to talk about it. What is a praise kink, what are some praise kink phrases you can use, and what do you need to know about this incredibly popular fetish?
Let’s dive in and find out!
What is a Praise Kink?
In short, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Someone with a praise kink gets off on being praised, complimented, or receiving verbal approval.
“But doesn’t everyone love praise?” you’re probably asking. And yes, many of us do! But having a praise kink isn’t quite the same thing. For people with this kink, receiving praise might elicit a sexual response, send them to subspace or Topspace (yes, it’s more common amongst submissives in my experience, but Tops and Dominants can have a praise kink too!) or otherwise have an impact beyond just “warm fuzzies from receiving a compliment”.
I don’t think there’s any actual data on this (can someone finance this study immediately please?) but I suspect there is a lot of crossover between those who enjoy praise in a kink context and those who have words of affirmation as one of their primary love languages.
Praise kink is often seen as being part of the softer, gentler type of BDSM. It can be, but it doesn’t have to be! As with all kinky things, it can be whatever you make of it.
Do You Have a Praise Kink?
You might be reading this article wondering if this description applies to you. Sorry, I can’t answer this for you! The only person who knows for sure if you have a praise kink is you.
But consider these questions:
Do you have a sexual, submissive/dominant, or otherwise kink-based response to receiving praise?
Do you enjoy sex or a kink scene more when your partner gives you lots of positive verbal feedback?
When you think back on your hottest sex/kink scenes, do the complimentary things your partner said to you stand out as one of your favourite parts?
If any of these sound like you, then you might have a praise kink!
It’s important to note that praise kinks can be very contextual. While some people might find it hot whenever anyone gives them praise or a compliment, others find that this desire is specifically directed towards those with whom they have some kind of attraction, sexual relationship, or kink dynamic.
Some Praise Kink Phrases You Can Use
Ultimately, the best way to learn what praise kink phrases will work for your partner is to ask them. Communication, understanding one another, and listening to feedback will get you further than a list of ideas ever will.
But if you’re not sure where to start, here are a few to get you started.
- “You’re such a good… [girl/boy/slut/pet/their favourite term of endearment]”
- “You’re doing/you did really well.”
- “You look so beautiful/handsome/sexy when you… [insert activity here]”
- “I’m so proud of you.”
- “I love how well you took that spanking for me.”
- “That feels amazing, keep doing that.”
- “I love it when you… [insert action or activity here]”
- “I can’t stop thinking about when you [insert hot or sexy thing they did here]”
- “Your ass looks incredible in those knickers”
- “You’re so good at [eating my pussy/sucking my cock/fucking me/insert activity here]”
- “I can’t wait to show you off to everyone at the club”
- “You’re strong, I know you can take it for me”
- “You’re so loved and cherished
These are all just ideas and you will undoubtedly come up with your own as you explore. Remember: the only right way to do it is the way that works for you and your partner.
Do you have a favourite praise kink phrase? Share them in the comments if so!
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I have wondered if I have a praise kink and reading those questions and especially the phrases you’ve given as examples I definitely do!
Also, for your research, words of affirmation is my top love language too!
Yes
I have found my new kink title!! Thank you so much!
Let me go inform my partners and potentials.
Dude, words of affirmation rank up in my love languages and I’m pretty sure I have this kink.
My boyfriend told me he had a praise kink last night and this article was really helpful! Will definitely be using some of those phrases 😉
I’m scared to bring this up to my boyfriend, not sure if he’d take it as weird. But when I asked to be choked, spanked and even asked to be his submissive bottom. He said that he’d try it. Should I send him this article to see his reaction to it to see if he’d even consider doing it?
Yes, sharing an article is a great way to open a conversation about kinks that appeal to you! Good luck!
For the purposes of collecting data, WoA is lowest among my Love Languages, but I absolutely have a praise kink. #forscience
Same here!
I too am a good girl, but words of affirmation are pretty much dead last in my love language rankings. #forscience
This article really helps give me a different look at what more can be said and helps me grow as sexual partner.
Always thought it’s kind of a stupid/selfish thing to have a praise kink in bed but after reading the article can’t help but be certain that I definitely like to be praised. The examples just sent shivers through my spine by just imagining that my partner would say these to me.
praise kink and dirty talk 🥰i think it’s same thing
Words of affirmation is my top love language and I realized I have a praise kink after reading Praise by Sara Cate. So I looked praise kink up and read this article. 100% know now that I have a praise kink. Being called a good girl and told I’m good at sexual deeds, look hot, etc…yup, major turn on!
Is possible to have a praise kink and degradation kink at the same time?
I would say so! And if you feel it, then of course it’s possible and your turn ons are valid.
I have some subs who love to be degraded, and melt when I change my tone and praise them for something. It’s like, for a moment, they can please me. It makes them try even harder and opens up more fun play.
It really does work
So I think i have a praise kink but i heard that it’s compliments that get you in your feelings but it only happens with my wife and that you have to be a bottom but I’m a versatile so would that still be considered a praise kink and how do I start the conversation with my wife
I think you’ve nailed it with the love languages…at least in my case. Words are my favourite way to be told how much I mean to someone. Although I won’t turn down gifts either haha!
A fun way to play with this that I recently found is using a clicker or something similar. I’m the one with the kink and I asked my husband to try it. He’d click it every time I did something he really liked and it made it so steamy. 10/10 would recommend