Advice, Tips & Resources

This page is growing all the time. Know a great resource I haven’t listed? Get in touch!

This page is for websites, podcasts, forums and other web resources. For books, see my Recommended Reading bookshelf.

BDSM – General

  • Fetlife – The Facebook of kink. You simply cannot be kinky on the internet without having a Fetlife account.
  • Kayla Lords – Kayla is simply one of my favourite kink educators on the web today. She lives the BDSM life every day and brings knowledge to her readers and listeners in a forthright, fun and welcoming manner. Don’t forget to check out Loving BDSM, the podcast she hosts with her partner/Dominant, John Brownstone (who is also amazing, by the way.)
  • Kinky Discussions – Anyone who knows me will know I LOVE podcasts, and Kinky Discussions is fast becoming one of my favourites. Hosts Tiger Stripes and DC Bear are hilarious and bring a wide range of kinky topics to their listeners in a warm and accessible fashion.

BDSM – For Newbies

Sex & Relationships Education

  • Pucker Up – The home of sex educator, author, filmmaker and sex-positive lady extraordinaire, Tristan Taormino. Don’t forget to check out her weekly radio show, Sex Out Loud!
  • Sex Gets Real – Dawn Serra’s wonderful weekly podcast on all things sex. There’s also a weekly advice column on the site, and Dawn runs face-to-face classes and webinars too.
  • Scarleteen – Billed as ‘Sex Education for the Real World,’ Scarleteen is ostensibly aimed at teenagers and young adults but conveys information all of us need. Everything from puberty to recognising abuse, pregnancy and parenting, sexual politics and gender identity issues is covered.
  • Light in Grey Places – A blog about ‘sexuality, hope and consent’ from a Christian feminist perspective. Full disclosure: I am not a Christian and do not share the views about religion expressed here, but there’s also many parts that have me jumping up and down and going “YES!” – particularly with regards to criticism of Fifty Shades and rape culture.
  • Rewriting The Rules – Writer, therapist and activist-academic Meg John Barker’s site, covering sex, gender, relationships and more.
  • Bish UK – “A guide to sex, love and you for everyone over 14.”

Non Monogamy

  • More Than Two – The home of Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, who also wrote the book ‘More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory.’ From the basics to the nitty-gritty of everyday life, if it relates to polyamory you’ll find it here.
  • Forum – Ask your poly questions, share your journey and benefit from others’ experiences and wisdom.
  • Polyamory Weekly – Host Minx explores “responsible non-monogamy from a pansexual, kink-friendly point of view,” and has been doing to tremendously successfully for over 10 years. An absolute must for anyone living non-monogamously or considering doing so.
  • Life on the Swingset – Long-running podcast on “all aspects of ethical non-monogamy.” Some clear focus on swinging but also polyamory, open relationships and other forms of consensual non-monogamy.


  • KinkFest UK – The UK’s biggest weekend fetish conference attracting visitors from all over the country and beyond. Has been described as “the best kink event in the UK bar none.”
  • BiCon – [From the website] “BiCon is a weekend-long educational and social gathering for bi people, their friends, partners, and others with a supportive interest in bisexuality. We don’t all use the labels “bi” or “bisexual” or even agree on what it means to be bi, but bisexuality is the common theme.”
  • Eroticon – A lovely and supportive weekend-long event in London for sex writers, bloggers, reviewers, readers, connoisseurs and others involved in the adult industry with a strong focus on the written word.
  • NOTE: I have deliberately not listed regional events, parties or clubs here. There are far too many to list them all and your local events can easily be found via the location tool on Fetlife.

Sex Blogs

  • Molly’s Daily Kiss – Sex, kink, sex-toy reviews, erotic fiction, gorgeous erotic photography and more.
  • Exhibit A – Yummy smut, sometimes with pictures.
  • Hannahlects – “Stories, poems, debates, rants. Mostly about fucking.”
  • F Dot Leonora – “Connecting the dots by editing and writing erotica.”
  • Girl on the Net – “Real life sex stories, dirty fantasies, fun rants about gender and sex, and other bits and pieces.”
  • Horny Geek Girl – The home of sex & relationships writer and erotica author Cheryl Kaye.
  • Written By Jenny – “Sex writer with specialisms in ethical pornography, BDSM and being an absolute sasspot.”
  • Sub’s Missives – Kink stories and toy reviews.
  • Formidable Femme – Essays on sexuality, queerness, feminism and mental health from Sarah Brynn Holliday.
  • Miss Ruby Reviews – Toy reviews.
  • Emmeline Peaches Reviews – Honest adult product reviews, articles and interviews, Sex 101.
  • Dangerous Lilly – “Educating and informing on the topic of sex toys.”
  • Marvelous Darling – “Healthy sexuality, mental health and hedonistic pursuits.”