The Resources Hub - Coffee & Kink

This page is growing all the time. Know a great resource I haven’t listed? Get in touch!

This page is for websites, podcasts, forums and other web resources. For books, see my Recommended Reading bookshelf.

Fetlife – The Facebook of kink. You simply cannot be kinky on the internet without having a Fetlife account.
Fetish.com – another, newer kinky social networking site which is somewhat more geared up for dating than Fetlife!
Loving BDSM – a hilarious, heartwarming and informative BDSM podcast. They also have a Youtube Channel and a blog!

Crash Restraint – a hub of dozens of rope bondage resources and tutorials.
Kink Academy – an amazing subscription service with instructional videos from experts in every kind of BDSM practice you can imagine. Start with the free videos but if you can afford it, I really recommend a paid subscription – it’s amazing.

What Consent Looks Like from helpingsurvivors.org is an excellent primer on understanding and practicing good sexual consent.
Pucker Up – The home of sex educator, author, filmmaker and sex-positive lady extraordinaire, Tristan Taormino. Don’t forget to check out her weekly radio show, Sex Out Loud!
What’s My Body Doing? A web-series about sex, sexuality and relationships from a pleasure-focused and research-informed point of view.
The Dildorks – Kate Sloan and Bex Caputo‘s weekly “dorky discourse on sex, dating and masturbating.”
Sex Gets Real – Dawn Serra’s wonderful weekly podcast on all things sex. There’s also a weekly advice column on the site, and Dawn runs face-to-face classes and webinars too.
Scarleteen – Billed as ‘Sex Education for the Real World,’ Scarleteen is ostensibly aimed at teenagers and young adults but conveys information all of us need. Everything from puberty to recognising abuse, pregnancy and parenting, sexual politics and gender identity is covered.
Rewriting The Rules – Writer, therapist and activist-academic Meg-John Barker’s site, covering sex, gender, relationships and more.
Bish UK – “A guide to sex, love and you for everyone over 14.”
Dr Nerdlove – Advice column on sex, dating and relationships. Mainly aimed at straight men but useful for everyone.
The Big Fling – Realistic, sex positive articles on sex and relationships from all angles, including a monthly column on consensual non-monogamy by Yours Truly.

Polyamory.com Forum – Ask your poly questions, share your journey and benefit from others’ experiences and wisdom.
r/Polyamory on Reddit is a really active forum with thousands of users navigating the nitty-gritty of polyamory.
Polyamory Weekly – Host Minx explores “responsible non-monogamy from a pansexual, kink-friendly point of view,” and has been doing to tremendously successfully for over 10 years. An absolute must for anyone living non-monogamously or considering doing so.
Life on the Swingset – Long-running podcast on “all aspects of ethical non-monogamy.” Some clear focus on swinging but also polyamory, open relationships and other forms of consensual non-monogamy.
Fabswingers is a huge swinger dating and hook-up site with membership mainly, though not exclusively, in the UK. You can sign up as a single or as a couple.
Kasidie is a swinger dating site and hook-up site with a primarily North American user-base. I found it useless from a UK user perspective but US and Canadian swingers swear by it.
OpenLove101 – a Youtube channel on open relationships with a focus on swinging.
There are tonnes of polyamory, swinging and non-monogamy groups on Facebook, a couple of international ones and dozens of local ones. Search “polyamory/swinging + (your city or country)”

KinkFest UK – The UK’s biggest weekend fetish conference attracting visitors from all over the country and beyond. Has been described as “the best kink event in the UK bar none.”
BiCon – [From the website] “BiCon is a weekend-long educational and social gathering for bi people, their friends, partners, and others with a supportive interest in bisexuality. We don’t all use the labels “bi” or “bisexual” or even agree on what it means to be bi, but bisexuality is the common theme.”
Eroticon – A lovely and supportive weekend-long event in London for adult creators of all kinds – bloggers, writers, vloggers, podcasters, toy designers, porn performers and many others. Somewhat of a focus on writing but there’s something for everyone.
NOTE: I have deliberately not listed regional events, parties or clubs here. There are far too many to list them all and your local events can easily be found via the location tool on Fetlife, or by typing the name of your city or region into the search bar.