Where Can You Get Custom BDSM Collars, Toys, and Other Handmade Kink Gear?

When you first start out in kink and BDSM, you might be thinking about building up a toybag. Perhaps you’ve been exploring for a while and you’re ready to upgrade your basic kit for something a bit fancier. Perhaps you’re in a new relationship or have a special occasion coming up and want to treat yourself or your partner to something special. Custom BDSM collars, outfits, toys, and other handmade kink gear can be amazing, one-of-a-kind additions to your collection.

To be absolutely clear: you don’t need expensive custom gear to be kinky. We’ve all met those individuals who think that a toybag worth thousands of dollars makes them a truer kinkster but who doesn’t know how to actually use any of that stuff safely. Kink isn’t about the toys you own. You can do amazing things with your bodies, with your imaginations, with pervertables, and with some basic items from a beginners’ bondage kit or your local sex shop.

But if you want to add some artisan or custom kink pieces to your collection, here are five places you can go to find them.

Go to a Fetish Market

I love a fetish market (though my bank balance does not!) Fetish markets or kink markets are in-person events where vendors can come to network, meet customers, and sell their wares.

Some happen at regular intervals, such as the monthly Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar/BBB in the UK and the annual Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. Others are pop-up or one off events. You’ll also find kink and fetish sections in the vendors’ area at some Pride festivals.

The beauty of fetish markets is that you can see and handle items before you buy them. You may even be able to try things – try that collar on, swing those custom floggers against your arm to see how they feel – before you commit. And, since most kinky crafters and makers are hugely passionate about what they do, you’ll benefit from their knowledge and advice to help you choose the perfect thing for you.

Etsy (Maybe?)

The Etsy adult content guidelines have made the news over the last couple weeks as the popular crafters’ and makers’ marketplace has clamped down on pornography, sex toys, and other sexual content. At the time of writing, the guidelines explicitly state that kink and BDSM products ARE still permitted:

Etsy allows the sale of non-insertable and non-penetrable adult toys and sexual accessories, as long as they meet our requirements for sale on Etsy. This includes items such as restraints, handcuffs, nipple clamps, body harnesses, sex furniture, and BDSM accessories.

Permitted adult toys and sexual accessories may not be shown in use or worn by human models in listing or review photos. Consider using a mannequin or flat lay photography instead.

Etsy content guidelines as of 11/07/2024

So this is good news for those who buy or sell handmade and custom kink gear. It may change, of course, so keep an eye on it. For now, though, there are thousands of beautiful kinky pieces from custom BDSM collars, cuffs and harnesses to wax play kits, floggers, whips, clamps and much more for sale on Etsy.

A couple of my personal favourites are Kandles by Kitten for the best wax play candles you’ll ever try, and Freebound Studio for all-vegan collars, cuffs and more.

Commission a Maker Directly

If you find a particular artist or maker you like but they don’t have quite what you’re looking for, ask if you can commission them to make you something unique. Others in your local kink community will probably also have recommendations for their favourite makers. A commission allows you to choose everything from the colours and materials to the sizing.

Again, kinky makers and crafters tend to get into this field because they love it. So if you ask them to help you create something, you’re sure to end up with a unique and beautiful piece you’ll love.

Make Your Own

Not everyone can or wants to get into making their own stuff, of course. This isn’t an easy or quick solution. Many kinky makers have spent years honing their crafts to get as good as they are. But if you’re passionate about making things, have the time, and are willing to drop money on the equipment you’ll need, making your own is one way to guarantee you get something truly bespoke.

Of course, if you already have a crafty talent – such as leatherworking or wood-turning – it should be easy to turn your skills to kinkier projects.

Check Out the Spicerack

Spicerack is a new platform that is basically Etsy for adults! This sex-positive online marketplace allows makers to sell products from sex toys and BDSM gear to lingerie, accessories, art, novelties, sexual wellness products and more. It’s an absolute treasure-trove of

For example, The Kinky Peach sells made-to-order and custom BDSM collars in delightfully whimsical and playful designs. LVX offers custom floggers in a range of handle wood and leather colour options. And I am absolutely lusting over Lulexy’s gorgeous leather pieces and Naughty Pawsies’ colourful vegan leather.

Whatever your kinky heart desires, there’s probably someone on Spicerack selling it… or someone you can commission to make it for you!

Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

Chastity Cage Guide for Buyers: Materials, Sizing, and More

If you’re looking to buy a chastity cage – whether you’re buying your first device or upgrading from your existing cage to a better one – there are lots of factors you’ll need to take into consideration. Many chastity novices make the mistake of grabbing the first cage they see from Amazon or a generic sex toy store, without really understanding how to choose a chastity device that works for their body and play preferences. That’s why I’ve partnered with LockTheCock once again to bring you this chastity cage guide for buyers. We’ll cover materials, finding your size, and everything else you need to know to find and buy the best chastity device for you.

Chastity Cage Guide to Materials

Chastity cages are available in a range of materials, the most common of which are metal, silicone, and ABS plastic. There are advantages and disadvantages to each material, and you’ll need to understand a few things about your preferences to make the best choice for you.

All of these materials are non-porous, body-safe, and easy to clean and maintain. Even so, always remember to remove your device regularly to clean it and to give your body a break regardless of which material you choose.

Silicone Cages

Those of you who read my sex toy reviews will know that I love silicone as a material. It is soft and relatively flexible, as well as durable, easy to clean, and completely body-safe. Silicone chastity devices offer more “give” than metal or plastic alternatives, and are likely to be comfortable to wear. If you’re doing long-term chastity, a silicone cage may also be kinder and potentially safer for your body.

Silicone chastity devices are ideal for beginners, those doing longer lockups, and anyone who finds a softer cage more comfortable or practical. They are available in lots of colours, but fewer different designs and styles.

Plastic Cages

Plastic cages are a good choice if you are looking for something more rigid and restrictive than silicone but cheaper than metal. It is a lighter material than metal, so may be more comfortable for longer-term wear, but can also be less sturdy and ultimately likely won’t last as long.

Plastic chastity cages also offer the most options in terms of colours and styles to choose from.

Metal Cages

Stainless steel is the most common material for metal chastity cages, though some are made of other metals or metal alloys so always double check if you have an allergy or sensitivity. Metal chastity cages are completely unyielding and can therefore be more restrictive than other kinds. Many also find the aesthetic of them incredibly sexy.

Metal cages strike a kinky chord with many users, but they can also be more expensive than other materials. Colour options are also more limited.

Sizes, Fitting, and Measuring

Like penises, chastity devices come in a wide range of sizes. Before you buy your device, you’ll need to measure yourself to ensure you are getting a cage that fits you and is safe for your body to wear. A device that is too big is unlikely to give you the feeling of restriction you desire (and may slip off), and a device that is too small can be extremely uncomfortable or even dangerous.

LockTheCock has a comprehensive guide to measuring yourself for your chastity cage, so we’ll just look at some highlights in this section. Measure when your penis is flaccid and, ideally, after a hot bath or shower.

Finding Your Ring Size

A cock cage has two main sections: the ring and the tube.

LockTheCock chastity cage guide measuring infographic
Image: LockTheCock

The ring of a chastity cage sits around the base of your penis and behind your testicles. To measure for your ring size, wrap a cloth tapemeasure all the way around your penis and testicles at the base to get the circumference. Divide this number by pi (3.14). The resulting number is the diameter, and you should buy the ring that is the closest to that number.

For example, a circumference of 16cm/6.2″ will give you a diameter of 5.09cm/2″, so you’d buy your chosen cage in the size with a ring closest to 2″. Some cages come with multiple rings automatically.

Finding Your Tube Size

Next, you’ll need to measure your penis’s length for the tube of the chastity cage. Again, measure when flaccid. This time, a straight ruler is best and this step may be easier with a partner’s help, if possible.

Stand up straight, then place the ruler against the base of your penis at the top, press it firmly against your pubic bone, and lay it across the length of your penis like this:

LockTheCock chastity cage guide to measuring infographic
Image: LockTheCock

To get your chastity cage size, subtract between 0.25″ and 0.5″ from your measurement. For example, if your penis measures 5″ in length when flaccid, you’ll need a cage with a tube between 4.5″ and 4.75″.

Other Considerations

Understanding your size and choosing the right material for you are two of the most important steps in choosing a chastity cage. But there are other considerations, too – so in the interests of providing a comprehensive chastity cage guide for buyers, here are a few other things you might want to think about.

How Do You Want to Feel?

Chastity, like many kink activities, is ultimately about the feelings it invokes – both physically and psychologically. So understand how you think you might want to feel during your chastity play.

Do you want to notice your chastity cage every time you move, or set it and forget it until you’re ready to play? Do you want tight restriction or a gentler sensation? In terms of psychological feelings, do you want to feel safe? Owned or possessed? Humiliated? Tormented?

There are no right and wrong answers here. Like all kink, it’s deeply personal and will be unique for everyone. Take time to figure out what feels true for you.

Budget

Chastity cages can range in price from under $20 for a basic device up to hundreds of dollars for a custom piece. Most will fall somewhere in the middle. You’ll likely have an idea of your budget and want to stick to it. In general, silicone and plastic devices are cheaper than metal, and more basic designs are cheaper than those with lots of additional features.

Aesthetics

Yes, looks matter to many people when it comes to toys and devices! Your chastity cage is going to be worn on your body, after all, so you want to make sure you’ll feel good and feel like “you” in it.

Consider the appearance of the material, the colour, and the style you want. Do you want something simple or fancy? Any particular colours you love or hate? Do you prefer a typically masculine-coded aesthetic, or something more neutral or even feminine-coded?

Additional Features

Some chastity cages come with extra features, such as app compatibility (ideal for long-distance relationships) or inbuilt stimulation options such as electrostim or vibrations. Of course, the more features you want, the more expensive your cage will be. Some will find that these additions greatly enhance their play, though. Have a think about what additional features matter to you, if any.

What Does Your Dominant Prefer?

You might be doing chastity play alone, in which case only your preferences matter. On the other hand, perhaps you have a Dominant who is going to act as your keyholder. If so, don’t forget to take their thoughts and preferences into account. Choosing a chastity cage for partnered play should be a collaborative process and can be incredibly hot in itself.

Thanks to LockTheCock for sponsoring this chastity cage guide and also for sponsoring the site! All views and writing are, as always, my own.