My last experience with a vibrating pussy pump toy was underwhelming, but I wasn’t sure whether that was an issue with the concept in general or down to specific design flaws with that model. Try anything twice in case the first version sucked, as the saying (sort of) goes.
So when Funzze asked to work with me again, I was immediately drawn to the Suck & Kiss Vibrating Pussy Pump, a toy that combined the indirect suction of a pump with direct clitoral pleasure.
Let’s see how it fared.
Funzze Suck & Kiss Vibrating Pussy Pump: Details
The Funzze Suck & Kiss Vibrating Pussy Pump is a two-part toy. It features a “mouth” (complete with tongue) for clitoral stimulation. The pussy pump part encloses a larger part of the vulva and applies suction. The pump cup is removable. All of this sits on top of a wide oval base with a flat bottom.
The toy measures around 4.5″ in height from the base and weighs 218g.
The main body, mouth, and tongue are made of silicone. The pussy pump is ABS plastic with a silicone rim. This toy is rechargeable, with a full charge taking 2 hours and giving about 1 hour of runtime. It is splashproof, but not fully submersible.
What I Liked About the Funzze Suck & Kiss
As is traditional around here, let’s start with the things I DID like about this toy!
- The colours! The Funzze Suck & Kiss Vibrating Pussy Pump is a lovely mix of pale pink and sky blue, with a fade effect on the base.
- I love love love that the suction cup is removable. When I first tried this toy, I had some pretty significant issues with the combination of the toy’s setup and my anatomy (more on that below.) I wondered if it was going to be a write-off when I’d barely got started. But thankfully, I quickly realised I could just pop the suction cup off and use it without.
- The cup being removable also makes it easier to clean both parts of the toy.
- By the way: the suction motion still works with the pussy pump cup removed. And the feeling of the suction directly over my clit? It’s a little like the feeling of an air pressure toy, only gentler and broader. Whereas those things often feel like having the orgasm ripped from my body, this toy feels more like it’s gently coaxing me over the edge.
- The silicone of the mouth and tongue are so, so soft and squishy. When so many tongue toys can feel more like being poked in the clit than being licked, this is a big deal. The softness is absolutely glorious.
- Speaking of the mouth and tongue, let’s talk about how they feel. No, they don’t really feel like receiving cunnilingus from a partner. Nothing does, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, because if anyone invents a toy that actually, convincingly feels like cunnilingus I might never leave my bedroom again.) But fucking hell, as approximations with a toy go, the Funzze Suck & Kiss Vibrating Pussy Pump is a damn good effort. The softness of the silicone combined with the suction motion and the gentle back-and-forth mouth motions? Divine. 1000/10.
- The buttons are in a sensible position on the main body of the toy. They’re easy to press and large enough to operate by feel alone. The controls are also pretty easy to understand. The middle button switches the toy on and off and changes the tongue and mouth setting, the top button controls the automated suction settings, and the bottom button acts as both a manual suction button and a quick-release you can press at any time.
- The pussy pump suction and the vibrating mouth can be used either separately or together. In the mood for one but not the other? Want to adjust the setting of one without disrupting the other? No problem
—they’re separate buttons with separate motors. And with 3 pussy pump settings (plus the manual button) and 10 licking and sucking speeds, there’s plenty of customisation potential. - At just $43.99 (that’s about £33), with a year’s warranty included, it’s a bargain!
What I Didn’t Like
While my overall experience with this toy was good, it got way better when I removed the actual pussy pump part and just used the vibrating mouth and tongue. Why? This may just be my anatomy, but even with the suction cup fully engaged, the lips and tongue were juuuuust barely grazing my clit. I love a tease as much as anyone, but this quickly became bad-frustrating rather than kinky-frustrating.
The suction cup can be fun for warm-up, teasing and building arousal. But overall I like this toy a lot more when I take it off. Your anatomy and experience may vary, of course. My hunch is that this toy, in its standard configuration, will work well for people with larger external clits.
The mouth and tongue part, as well as the large gap left behind when you remove the pump, can be a trap for fluids and bacteria. This isn’t necessarily a problem as such, but it does mean you’ll need to take extra care when cleaning this toy.
Finally, the noise. The sucking motion emits a loud buzz each time it engages, and the movements of the “mouth” make a pretty distracting whining sound. It’s incredibly distracting. I basically have to put this one under a thick blanket or wear my earbuds when I’m using it, otherwise I’ll be too aurally overstimulated to get off.
Funzze Suck & Kiss Vibrating Pussy Pump: Verdict
This is another product that proves that pleasure doesn’t need to be expensive. The high-end big name manufacturers aren’t the only ones making great sex toys!
This one has some minor issues, but overall this is an excellent toy at a good price.
The Suck & Kiss Vibrating Pussy Pump is available directly from Funzze.
Thanks to Funzze for sending me this product and sponsoring this review. All views and writing, as always, are mine.