[Review] Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” Sex Toy Advent Calendar

We made it! I reviewed every single item in the Lovehoney Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar over the last 24 days. Before I call it a wrap on this project, I wanted to provide a final review where I share my thoughts on the set as a whole.

Lovehoney Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar
Image: Lovehoney

Who is the target market?

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar is aimed at couples, and specifically assumes a cisgender, heterosexual couple. I’m not a fan of gendered language or assumptions in sex toy marketing, since body parts don’t have inherent genders and products certainly don’t.

In the future, I’d like to see these calendars marketed according to what body parts they work with, rather than gendering things, which can be alienating for trans and non-binary people. I’d also like to see versions available for couples made up of two vulva-owners or two penis-owners.

Gendering aside, this set is very clearly designed to provide sex toys for beginners. Many of the items are super basic, which is mostly fine for its intended purpose.

What’s inside?

In case you’ve forgotten, here’s a rundown of what you’ll find in your Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar:

A mixed bag, I’m sure you’ll agree. And that’s definitely a plus. This set is aimed at people who are new to exploring sex toys and different ways to connect intimately, so offering lots of different options and ideas is a great thing.

Best and worst of

The quality of the items in this set is wildly variable. There are a few things that are genuinely great quality and will probably last many years, like the silicone toys. A few that are fine for a use or two, but won’t last long, like the strokers. Some that are fine for complete beginners but “meh” for anyone with an iota of experience, like the kink gear. And the odd one that made me go “aaaaaahhhhh, no!”

So here’s my best and worst of roundup:

Best item: This is easy – definitely the Womanizer Classic from Day #24, a genuinely excellent clitoral suction toy that retails for £119.99 by itself.

Honourable mention: The bullet vibe from Day #1. Reasonable power, versatile (it pairs well with many of the other items in this set), and rechargeable.

Worst item: That damn penis sleeve from Day #22. Unsafe, unsanitary, and just overall not something I would ever recommend anyone puts near their genitals.

Honourable mention: The wrist ties from Day #13. Not only are they glorified basic satin ribbons, they also work in a way that is very dubiously safe for any but the lightest bondage.

So is it worth it?

Whether or not this kit is worth the money very much depends on what you want to get out of it. If you’re an experienced player looking to expand your sex toy collection, skip it and get one or two really good quality toys instead (might I suggest a Doxy or a We-Vibe Tango?)

If you and your partner are brand new to toys and looking to explore some basic things together, you might get a lot out of this set. Despite the variable quality, it offers possibilities and a kind of permission to try things out. And if something doesn’t work for you? No big deal, there are 23 other things to try.

If you’re specifically after a Womanizer Classic and think you might enjoy a few of the other items too, the Best Sex of Your Life set is a no-brainer. The Womanizer costs literally the same as this entire set, so you might as well snag a bargain.

You do get £370+ worth of products for £120 (and can get a further 10% off with my code “coffkink10”). So if you think there are at least a few things you’ll enjoy, it’s a good deal.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #23: Sex Position Cards

It’s the penultimate day of my foray into the Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar. After yesterday’s “aaaaahhhhh”-inducing offering, I was hoping that Day 23 might show a little more promise.

Let’s open it up and find out.

Door #23: Sex Position Cards

Door #23 contains a set of sex position cards. There are 26 cards in total, with positions ranked “easy”, “medium”, or “difficult”. I think those rankings might be largely subjective, as all our bodies have their own strengths and weaknesses. But okay, I’ll run with it.

The deck begins with a card offering some safety tips. They’re pretty 101-level, which makes sense since this set is really aimed at beginners, but they’re solid: never leave a bound person alone, don’t tie someone too tightly, stop if something hurts, use a safeword, agree boundaries before you play. Cool. That’s basically the Safety & Consent 101 I’d want to give a complete beginner.

Sex position cards safety and instructions

Each position has a name, many of which are punny or otherwise amusing. (The Thigh’s The Limit, Clitar Hero, and Deep G Diving are a few highlights). Each card contains a picture of how to do the position, and a short description of why it’s fun or how to make it hotter. You also get a handy list of which types of stimulation the position is best for (clitoral, G-spot, penis, balls, etc.) and suggested toys or implements to use.

Sex position cards with easy sex positions
Sex position cards with medium difficulty sex position ideas
Sex position cards with difficult sex positions ideas

I have not, of course, tried every single position on these cards. Some of them are fairly basic positions with quirky names (“The Elevator” is just someone on their knees giving their partner oral sex) while others are somewhere between “why?” and “likely to be physiologically impossible unless one of you is a size four and the other is a gym-bunny.” But for gaining ideas and inspiration, they’re perfectly fine.

For some reason, I’m now thinking about this scene from The Bold Type where Jane, Kat and Sutton test out one of Sage’s sex positions to “verify it’s physically possible.”

The Best Sex of Your Life adult advent calendar is a limited-edition product and retails for £120. Use my affiliate code “coffkink10” at checkout to get 10% off this or any other Lovehoney order! If you’re inspired to try more creative positions, the Position of the Week sex position cards retail for £9.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #21: Massager

Well, we’ve reached the end of week three in my quest to review every item in the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar. It’s been a mixed bag, with some hits and a few misses… so what’s behind Door #21?

Door #21: Massager

Lovehoney massager from sex toy advent calendar

The 21st door contains a star-shaped plastic massager, presumably designed to be used with the massage oil from two days ago (the ordering here is a little weird. I’d have put them on consecutive days, but okay). It’s red with silver glitter, tying in with the festive theme of this whole set.

The massager measures 6″ across from point to opposite point, and each arm is around 2″ in length. It’s very light, and the shape makes it easy and comfortable to hold. If you enjoy giving massages but find that your hands or wrists get tired, a massager like this can help. You can use all five points at once for an all-over massage, or tilt it and use one end to focus on a smaller area.

This one is a surprising winner for me. It’s sitting on my desk at the moment and I’ve found myself reaching for it to get the knots out of my temperamental neck and shoulders and relieve my I-spend-too-long-sitting-at-a-computer upper back pain. The rigidity allows you to get deeply into those sore muscles. With this thing, I can get the kind of deep tissue massage that is sort of painful but in a really good way.

Lovehoney massager for couples review

Exchanging massages can be a lovely way to connect physically with your partner, whether or not they lead to sex. Massage can also be a great way to show love to someone whose love language is physical touch.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120 and contains around £370 worth of products. You can get 10% off this product or any other Lovehoney order if you use my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #19: Vanilla Massage Oil

It’s Day 19 of my series on the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar, where I’m reviewing the contents one day at a time. Check out the whole series if you haven’t already.

Meanwhile, let’s open up Door #19.

Door #19: Vanilla Massage Oil

Lovehoney vanilla massage oil

Door #19 contains a bottle of vanilla-scented massage oil. This simple formula contains just four ingredients:

  • Ethylhexyl palmite, a common skincare ingredient that functions as an emollient, solvent, and fragrance fixative, according to The Derm Review.
  • Caprylic/capric triglyceride, which is derived from coconut oil and glycerine according to The Soap Kitchen and is widely recognised as safe for topical use.
  • Isopropyl myristate, a thickening agent or moisturiser commonly found in cosmetics. Reports suggest it can cause skin irritation in a minority of people (usually those with existing skin conditions) but is widely considered safe for cosmetic use.
  • Parfum, a mysterious concoction of synthetic fragrances designed to make the product smell good. Many people recommend avoiding products with this “ingredient” (actually potentially a mix of ingredients) as we don’t know exactly what’s in it. I can’t tell you whether to avoid these products or not. I generally use them without too much concern and have never had a problem, but your mileage (and tolerance for long-term risk) may vary.
Lovehoney vanilla massage oil ingredients

You get 30ml in this little bottle of vanilla massage oil. You only need a few drops to get decent skin coverage, but it does dry out quite quickly once you start massaging. You’ll get maybe 3-4 massages out of this bottle, depending on how generously you want to apply it.

The scent is very strong and distinctively vanilla. It’s a little artificial, but not unpleasant. Be aware that the scent really lingers on your skin so unless you’re going to take a shower straight after, you might smell of vanilla for the rest of the day.

By the way: make sure the lid is on properly when you’re done! Ask me why there’s massage oil all over my desk…

Massages can be a fun precursor to sex, a form of aftercare, or even a way to connect physically and intimately with your partner without involving your genitals. A nice scented massage oil can add a little extra sense of indulgence to the experience.

If you like this massage oil, you can get a bottle of Lovehoney’s Oh! Vanilla Massage Oil for £5.99 when this one runs out. The Oh! oil seems to contain more natural ingredients and nothing mysterious like the above-mentioned “parfum”. The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120 and contains £370+ worth of products. You can get 10% off your entire Lovehoney order by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #16: Menthol Pleasure Balm

With only 9 days of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar to go, I feel like we’re into the home stretch now. If you haven’t caught up yet, check out whole review series to see the hits, the misses, and the “meh”s.

Now, though, it’s time to open Door #16…

Door #16: Menthol Pleasure Balm

Tin of Lovehoney menthol pleasure balm

Behind Door #16 is a small tin of Lovehoney’s menthol “pleasure balm”. The idea is that when you apply a small amount to external erogenous zones, such as the clitoris or nipples, it increases sensitivity to enhance your pleasure. It’s very similar to the Bliss Orgasm Balm I reviewed last year.

Lovehoney’s pleasure balm is made of primarily plant-derived ingredients including sweet almond oil, grape seed oil, shea butter, cocoa, avocado oil, and wheat extract. It does also contain beeswax, so you might want to avoid this one if you’re vegan. I’m not a scientist by any stretch, but I can’t see anything alarming from a health or safety perspective in the ingredients list as long as you don’t have any allergies or sensitivities to any of the ingredients.

Tin of Lovehoney orgasm balm

Everyone will react differently to things like this. It works really well for me! The cool, tingly sensation is quite intense and it definitely makes my clitoral orgasms both easier to reach and more explosive. It’s not a magic cure-all for orgasm difficulties, of course. But if a little extra sensitivity helps you, then this could be just the thing. And of course, even if you don’t struggle to orgasm, it can always be fun to play with new and different sensations!

You only get 7g in the tin, but a little goes a long way with this stuff. I really only needed a small dab to get the full effects. It also lasts well, so constant reapplication isn’t necessary.

The pleasure balm has a white creamy consistency that melts to an oily liquid when you rub it between your fingers or massage it into your skin. It has a distinctive but pleasant minty smell. Be aware that if you’re using it during oral sex, you’ll definitely be able to taste it. It’s for external use only, so don’t use it inside your vagina or butt.

My biggest complaint? The little tin is really hard to open! I’ve found that squeezing it between my palms and then twisting is the best way. But struggling to open a tin without interrupting the flow of your sex or masturbation session is a pain.

Otherwise? Love this stuff. I’ll definitely be buying more when this little tin runs out.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120, and you can get 10% off this or any other Lovehoney order by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout. The calendars are limited in quantity, so get yours in plenty of time if you want one.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #4: Sex Dice

I’m currently reviewing Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar for couples, day by day. Behind each window is a sex toy or other sexy product. Though the set is gendered (I really wish they’d stop doing that!) and assumes a cisgender, heterosexual couple, many of the items can be used by people of all genders and body types.

So what’s behind Door #4?

Door #4: Sex Dice

Door #4 contains a pair of sex dice. The first die names a different body part on each side, and the second names various actions to do to those body parts. The idea is that you take turns to roll, then do the actions you land on.

Set of sex dice for foreplay from Lovehoney advent calendar

I’ve never really got the point of the whole “sex dice” thing, personally. I can see that they maybe make sense, in a certain light, if you’re brand new to exploring each others’ bodies. I can also see these being a useful starting point for a couple who are struggling to communicate about their likes and desires, or for those who like plenty of laughs alongside their moans. But the whole system just feels too contrived and gamified to be sexy to me. I’d rather just communicate and do what feels good, personally.

But your mileage may vary! And if this seems like a useful way in (or the idea of being dommed by a pair of dice feels hot to you), then have at it.

The actual acts on these dice are fine, if a little unimaginative. They mostly involve doing different things with your mouth (lick, blow, nibble, kiss) or occasionally hands (massage) to the most common erogenous zones (penis/clitoris, nipples, inner thigh, butt, neck).

Sex dice for couples, foreplay dice from adult advent calendar

The nature of this sort of gane means you do occasionally get baffling combinations or those that wouldn’t work for a lot of people. I do NOT want anyone nibbling my clitoris, thank you. Ouch! But if you get a combo that doesn’t work for you, you can always just reroll.

Perfectly fine, but not really my thing.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

[Lube Review] Promescent Personal Lubricants

I’m picky about lube. Like, super picky. This is for a good reason – there are a lot of ingredients that my body simply does not like or get along with. Having to stop sex because your vulva is burning as a result of some random lube you grabbed at a sex party? Do not recommend.

Couple in bed with lubes in foreground

As a result, I tend to stick to a couple of favourite brands. When companies offer me lubes for review, I often either just say no or end up hating the product.

I say all this so that you understand how unusual it is for me to discover a new line of lubes that I genuinely love and will happily use again and again.

Who Are Promescent?

Promescent is a company dedicated to closing the orgasm gap (a term for the fact that on average, cis men and other people with penises experience orgasm more frequently and more quickly than cis women and other people with vulvas during partnered sex.)

They started out making an orgasm delay product for penis owners, but have now branched out into other lines including lube, condoms, massage oils, and arousal gels for vulva owners.

Promescent works with a medical advisory team including highly trained urologists and sexual medicine experts, and is additionally supported by a medical review team featuring names you may know, including Dr Justin Lehmiller and Dr Laura Berman, and a team of non-medical sexuality experts.

Promescent’s Lube Line

Promescent were kind enough to send me three of their lubes to try. I received the water-based lube, organic aloe-based lube, and silicone lube. I’m going to start by talking about the ingredients, then look at my experience with each product in turn.

Promescent organic and body safe lubes

Each lube comes in a 4fl oz (118ml) disk-cap bottle. You can also get larger 8fl oz bottles, or subscribe for regular deliveries and save 7%.

Ingredients and Safety

With such a large team of sexuality professionals and medical experts on board, one would expect Promescent to be using body-safe ingredients in their lubes. I looked closely at each label and did a deep dive on the internet to learn about them.

My main resources for this research were Condom Depot’s What’s In My Lube? guide, Incidecoder, and SkinCarisma’s ingredients analyser. After looking up every ingredient name I didn’t recognise, I feel safe in saying that these lubes do not contain any toxic ingredients and will be safe for anyone to use as long as you don’t have a specific allergy or sensitivity.

A small disclaimer here: the water-based lube does contain glycerin. This isn’t a toxic ingredient, but it is a form of sugar and can be problematic to people who are prone to yeast infections. I’ve never had an issue with it myself, but it’s something to be aware of.

None of the Promescent lubes contain parabens (harmful chemicals that pop up distressingly often in lubricants and cosmetics and have been linked to hormone disruption, fertility issues, and even cancer.) All the lubes are also pH balanced, meaning they won’t have a negative impact on your vaginal health.

Let’s dive in one at a time and talk about how I got on with them!

Promescent Water-Based Lube

Promescent water-based lube

I always tell my readers that if they’re going to buy one type of lube, make it a quality water-based lube. That’s because water-based is the most versatile type of lube you can get – a true all-rounder!

The Promescent water-based lube has a light, natural scent and a slight tangy taste. It’s very runny and slippery, and you only need a little bit to go a long way. This lube is quick-drying, non-sticky, and did not leave any unwanted residue on either my body or my sheets.

A 4oz bottle of Promescent water-based lube retails for $8.99, making it the cheapest of the bunch. You can use it with any type of barrier and any sex toy material.

Use it for: oral sex, since it has the lightest taste, or playing with silicone toys.

Promescent Organic Aloe-Based Lube

Promescent organic aloe-based lube

I’ve never tried an aloe-based lube before, so this was a new one to me. I’ve been sniffing it and trying to work out what the scent reminds me of. It’s very botanical – basically, if “green” had a smell, it would be this. The aloe lube has a stronger taste than the water-based, though it’s still pretty mild and not at all unpleasant.

Texture-wise, the aloe lube is about the same thickness and runnyness as the water-based. However, I found that it absorbed into my skin more slowly, meaning that it lasted longer. This makes it perfect for lube-heavy activities such as anal play!

It’s got a lovely, slippery feel that is the closest of the three to natural lubrication. It left my skin feeling soft and non-sticky, and did not stain my sheets.

FYI: the aloe lube isn’t safe for use with polyurethane condoms, but latex and polyisoprene are fine. It pairs well with all body-safe sex toy materials.

A 4oz bottle of Promescent organic aloe lube retails for $9.49.

Use it for: anal sex, vaginal penetration with a penis or toy.

Promescent Silicone Lube

Promescent silicone lube

Silicone lube is divisive in the sexuality world. Some people love it, others hate it. I love it in the right contexts, but in practice I don’t use it very often. That’s because silicone lube can sometimes damage silicone toys (though it doesn’t always) and a large percentage of my toy collection consists of silicone products.

Silicone also requires more clean-up, since it can stain certain fabrics and is harder to get off your skin. I recommend putting a towel down for easy clean up when you’re done.

With that said, silicone lube also has a lot of advantages and I enjoyed getting a chance to experiment with it.

Promescent’s silicone lube contains just four ingredients. It is thinner and runnier than many other silicone lubricants I’ve encountered. Again, you really only need a little bit and it goes a long way. It did leave my skin slightly sticky, but washed away easily with my usual soap.

The texture of this lube is super slick, which makes it absolutely perfect for hand sex. Clitoral stimulation is a lot more comfortable and pleasurable when there’s sufficient lubrication, and Promescent’s silicone lube is an excellent choice for this purpose. It’s also ideal for bath and shower sex, since it isn’t water-soluble.

A 4oz bottle of Promescent silicone lube retails for $12.99.

Use it for: hand sex (on yourself or a partner), playing with non-silicone toys.

So which is my favourite?

It’s a tough call, but the organic aloe-based lube is a surprising winner for me! The slick, moisturising feel and the nice natural scent just clinch it. But honestly they’re all great products that absolutely deserve a place on your nightstand.

FYI: this review was sponsored, which means Promescent paid me to test their products and write an honest review. Images are courtesy of Promescent and used with permission. All views are, as always, my own.

[Video Series Review] CLIMAX

Something a little different for today’s review! When the team at CLIMAX, a new video series dedicated to sex education, approached me I knew I had to talk about it.

Sex education, such as it is, is chronically inadequate for the vast majority of people. If we get any at all, it’s likely to be either abstinance-based or focus on simply the biological facts of sex. But discussions of consent, communication, intimacy, pleasure? Where are they?

One of the reasons I started Coffee & Kink was because I wanted to make a small contribution towards rectifying this enormous problem. And it seems the folks at CLIMAX had a similar idea.

Let’s go!

What is CLIMAX?

CLIMAX is a sex education video series. It was advertised to me as “Netflix-style” but actually, it’s not subscription-based at all. Simply purchase a package once, and you’ll have access to all the content within that tier (plus future updates) for life.

Screenshot of ad for CLIMAX sex ed video

CLIMAX is dedicated to enhancing pleasure for people with vulvas. It comprises a series of videos exploring different masturbatory techniques, focusing on external stimulation of the clitoris and vulva. Each of the videos is between 2 and 9 minutes long, and features the technique demonstrated on a real vulva as well as voice commentary and accompanying notes.

A note for trans and non-binary folks (and anyone who cares about inclusivity): CLIMAX does, unfortunately, sometimes use gendered language, referring to “female anatomy” and “female pleasure.” CLIMAX have acknowledged in the FAQs that this is a shortcoming and that they have attempted to be as inclusive as possible, but there’s real room for improvement. I hope they will continue to address this problem going forward.

What makes CLIMAX different?

The cool thing about CLIMAX is that it’s based on robust scientific data (there’s even a list of reference materials!)

Since 98.5% of people with vulvas masturbate using clitoral stimulation (New Hite Report, 2000), CLIMAX focuses on clitoral pleasure. This was perhaps the most refreshing thing for me as I watched the series. It’s wonderful to see the focus completely removed from the goal of orgasming from penetration alone (which is impossible for a majority of vulva owners) and the clit given the attention it deserves.

My experience

I think of myself as pretty clued up about my body. You kind of have to be when you review sex toys for a living! But even so, there are always new things to learn.

To be honest, I use sex toys so much that I don’t masturbate using just my hands very often. So when I received CLIMAX to review, I took the opportunity to get back in touch with self-touch.

Using the CLIMAX series gave me an opportunity to explore touching my body in different ways. I enjoyed that the focus is on pleasure and exploration. There’s plenty of options offered, and lots of “if this works for you.” CLIMAX acknowledges that all bodies are different, and prioritises providing permission and choice over being prescriptive.

At the moment, CLIMAX features just one vulva in its videos, but the team have said they intend to feature a wider variety of bodies in the future. They also acknowledge that the model featured in the videos is fully shaved as that was her preference, but that they do not advocate for pubic hair removal. Yay for body-hair positivity!

How much does it cost?

The full prices are as follows:

  • Education package (19 episodes): £45
  • Classic package (22 episodes): £63
  • Premium package (32 episodes): £89

There’s currently a 30% off sale for new customers across the entire site, bringing the package prices down to £29, £44, and £63, respectively. If you purchase using my affiliate link, I’ll make a small commission at no extra cost to you.

If you want to try it out, you can get one of the cheaper packages and then upgrade later by just paying the difference.

Remember: these are one-off prices, not monthly subscriptions.

Verdict

There’s a lot to recommend about CLIMAX. If you have a vulva and are new to exploring self-pleasure or just looking for different ways to touch yourself, it’s a great investment.

It’s clearly a work in progress and I admire that the team have openly acknowledged the areas they’re looking to expand and improve. I’m excited to see where they go with this next.

Thanks to the team at CLIMAX, who provided me with access to the Premium package to review. All views, as always, are mine.

[Lube Review] Lovehoney Caramel Latte Flavoured Lubricant

It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a lube! But the #12DaysofLovehoney campaign is giving me an opportunity to try a few things I might not normally get to. Today, we’re looking at a special limited edition product for the festive season: Lovehoney’s caramel latte flavoured lube!

Oh, and check out the rest of the series while you’re here.

Festive Flavour

Lovehoney’s caramel latte lube is a new seasonal release. It’s a water-based formula that comes in a 100ml (3.4 fl oz) pump bottle. It is the latest edition to Lovehoney’s growing flavoured lubes line.

Lovehoney caramel latte flavoured lube

The bottle bears the signature bubbles design that features on various Lovehoney lubes. In this case, the bubbles and product name are… well, caramel coloured.

Ingredients

This is a water-based lube, and so it is unsurprising that water is the first ingredient on the list.

Let’s take a quick look at the other main ingredients:

  • Sorbitol. This is a sugar alcohol which is generally recognised as safe (including for consumption) in small quantities. However, it’s worth being aware that sugar can cause yeast infections, so exercise caution and maybe avoid this lube if you’re prone to them.
  • Potassium sorbate. This is a preservative that is generally considered safe and is a much better alternative to parabens.
  • Polysorbate 20. This is a non-toxic emulsifier that is added to many water-based cosmetics and skincare products.
  • Diazolidinyl urea. This is an antimicrobial preservative used in many cosmetics. The answer to “is it safe?” seems to be “maybe.” According to The Skincare Chemist, it can cause an allergic reaction. Be careful if you have allergies or sensitivities.
  • Citric acid. This natural preservative is extremely common and is broadly safe, though has been known to cause irritation to some very sensitive people.
  • Sucralose. This common artificial sweetener is essentially a form of sugar. That means it’s another risk for yeast infections if you’re prone to such things.

So what’s the verdict? There’s nothing in here that makes me go “oh hell no!” off the bat, but I’d recommend exercising caution if you have allergies, sensitivities, or are prone to infections.

To be fair, the bottle does specify that the lube is for external use only. For that reason, I recommend keeping it for oral sex only, and keeping it away from any internal areas. If you’re using it for oral, take a minute to rinse off before doing any penetrative play. Switch to a gentle water-based lube for anything involving penetration.

Lovehoney Caramel Latte lube

By the way: this lube is also completely vegan-friendly, as it contains no animal-derived or animal-tested ingredients.

How Does It Taste?

Honestly, not bad!

I wasn’t at all convinced I’d like the caramel latte flavoured lube. I don’t always get on well with anything with artificial flavourings and I find a lot of fruity lubes are either too sickly sweet or just taste like chemicals.

But this one was a pleasant surprise! It’s sweet but not overly sickly, and you only need a little bit to get the flavour. It also actually tastes like a caramel latte!

Feel and Clean-Up

The caramel latte lube can get a little sticky if you leave it for too long. I guess that’s due to the sugar-based ingredients. However, it lasts fairly well and I didn’t need to keep re-applying it, which I appreciated.

Hand with caramel latte lube on fingers

As it’s water-based, the caramel latte lube is a breeze to clean up. Just rinse off with some warm water. It also won’t stain your sheets. Water-based lube is compatible with all body-safe sex toy materials including silicone, glass, ABS plastic, stainless steel, and wood.

Do I Recommend It?

I wouldn’t suggest the caramel latte lube as a bedside staple to use every time you play. For the reasons I’ve mentioned, it’s really only suitable for external use (though oral sex is the entire point of flavoured lubes anyway.) But if you’re not sensitive to any of the ingredients and enjoy a sweet, slightly coffee-ish flavour, it can be a good sexy stocking stuffer or a fun way to change up your oral sex routine once in a while.

The Lovehoney caramel latte lube retails for £7.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this and all my review posts. Want to support the blog? Signing up to my newsletter and buying me a coffee are great ways to do that!

[Game Review] “Bondage Seductions”

There are a number of things that are consistently more appealing in theory than in reality. One such concept? Sex games. Buckle in, folks – it’s #12DaysofLovehoney Day 5, and we’re looking at Bondage Seductions, a sex game by Kheper Games. (Check out the whole series here.)

Dear God, where to start?

Bondage Seductions is a sex game for couples. It retails for £19.99 at Lovehoney. The game arrives in a small square box, and inside you’ll find:

  • 36 game cards
  • A pair of silky “ties” (lengths of ribbon)
  • 2 dice
  • A red elasticated blindfold
  • A mini rubber flogger
Bondage Seductions sex game box

The quality of these items is… Not Great. The flogger looks shoddily made and the materials of the ties and blindfold look and feel cheap. The cards are contain the same copy in four languages (English, German, French, and Spanish.) I can’t speak for any of the other languages, but the English passages are poorly written and feature frequent typos and weird syntax.

Not a great first impression, but let’s keep going.

How it’s played

The rules are simple: roll the 2 dice, and choose the corresponding numbered card (they are numbered 1-1 through 6-6 – the red die indicate the first number, the black die the second number.)

Contents of Bondage Seductions couples sex game

Cards in red are “for her to read,” and cards in black are “for him to read” (more on that in a minute.) You read your chosen scenario and then act it out, using the included props as appropriate.

How is it problematic? Let me count the ways…

First, this game gets its terminology all wrong. Which might seem like a small thing, but is actually a big deal.

“Bondage” is not a synonym for “BDSM” or “kinky sex”. Bondage is one specific kink: restraining other people and/or being restrained. This game should be called “Kinky Seductions” or something, because most of it doesn’t involve bondage. Again: stop using “bondage” and “BDSM” interchangeably. They’re different things.

The game also continually uses the word “whip” to describe a flogger. Again, they’re completely different implements! The two words are not synonymous! This is a whip. This is a flogger. The item in this game is (an admittedly shit excuse for) a flogger. Terminology matters in kink, because we can only negotiate and talk about our desires and limits effectively if we use the right language. If someone says they like whips but they actually mean floggers… you see how that could lead to some really troublesome miscommunications? (It also, even more inexplicably, refers to the flogger as a “paddle”. This is a paddle.)

Secondly, this game is lax to the point of being irresponsible when it comes to safety. There are cards that explain what safewords are and how to use them, which I guess is something. There’s also a mention of consent and only going as far as you want to go in the instructions. But that’s it – and that’s not enough.

Several of the activities listed can be dangerous either physically (e.g. spanking) or psychologically (e.g. non-consent roleplay) if done incorrectly. While I appreciate that game creators can’t give an essay on safety for every activity, some context is essential.

I was horrified to see one card suggesting that you flog your lover’s back, without making any distinction between hitting the upper back and shoulders (generally fine) and hitting the lower back, kidney area, and spine (incredibly dangerous and absolutely NOT fine.)

We can’t just nudge total newbies into impact play or non-consent roleplay scenes without telling them how to do so and emerge unharmed. This is grossly irresponsible.

Unnecessary gendering like whoa

This game takes unnecessary and aggressive gendering to the next level. It begins from the premise of assuming the players are a heterosexual, cisgender couple. There was absolutely no reason to do that! The cards could easily have been split by Top/bottom rather than male/female, or even just included a bunch of scenarios and left it to the players to decide who would take which roles.

Bondage Seductions kink game cards

It’s also not just cisheteronormative, but incredibly sexist. Here are a few choice quotes (all genuine, all copied down verbatim):

“Doesn’t he know you’d have an orgasm on the spot if he’d lift a finger and do the dishes for once in his life?”

“Perhaps he’d chatting with his mother when he should be asking about your day? Or worse yet… screaming at other drivers when he should be offering you compliments about your new hairdo!”

“Men are visual, and women are more sensitive to touch.”

“Don’t you wish sometimes that he would just shut up?”

This game was designed by people who don’t have a very good opinion of either men or women. It also seems to carry the assumption that people in heterosexual partnerships kinda hate each other. And honestly, I just find that sad.

ALSO. There are two cards titled “Safe Word For Her” and “Safe Word for Him.” Apart from the pronouns, these two cards are identical. There is literally zero point to this. Just have one safeword card or explain the concept in the rules! Seriously, this takes “gendering things that have no reason to be” to the next level.

The verdict

Bondage Seductions is just… really, really bad. It’s not just cheesy, cheap, and badly put-together. It encourages some really questionable – and even dangerous – practices and pushes overly rigid gender roles.

I can’t even say it’s good for people exploring BDSM for the first time, because it isn’t. It doesn’t help you to communicate your desires, explore things safely, or actually figure out what you like.

Seriously. Do not bother. This is awful.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this and all my review posts. Want to support the blog? Signing up to my newsletter and buying me a coffee are great ways to do that!