12 days of lovehoney Archives

Header image for a review of the Passion Flower Bra Set from Lovehoney lingerie

[Lingerie Review] Lovehoney Passion Flower Bra Set

Published on December 11, 2020May 10, 2024 by Amy

[Update 04/03/22: this product has been discontinued. I have removed dead links but left the post up for reference.]

The last 11 days have just flown by, and today is the last review of my #12DaysofLovehoney series! Do check back tomorrow, though, because I have a very special giveaway for you all. For now, though, it’s time to look at the Passion Flower Bra Set from Lovehoney’s Passion Flower lingerie line.

By the way: read the entire series while you’re here!

Purple Passion

I’ve adored the aesthetic of the Passion Flower range ever since it first popped up on the Lovehoney site earlier this year. So I was thrilled to be offered the Passion Flower Bra Set for review as part of this project.

Passion Flower is a range of purple lace lingerie with pink and white flowers. This set consists of three pieces: an underwired halter-neck bra, a thong, and a suspender belt.

It’s worth noting that the suspenders are NOT detatchable, so you’ll need to wear stockings to get the full effect. Of course, you can ditch the suspender belt and just wear the bra and thong if stockings aren’t your thing.

The bra features a little silver charm in the shape of the Lovehoney heart insignia, and both the suspender belt and bra feature cute pink criss-cross detailing.

First impressions? I like what I see. Let’s try it on…

Fit

The Passion Flower Bra Set comes in “one size” (to fit a UK 8-16) and plus size (to fit a UK 18-24.) If you’ve been reading my lingerie reviews for a while, you’ll know I’m not generally a fan of “one size” fits – bodies are just too diverse and varied for many people to get a reliable fit.

With that said, the Passion Flower Bra Set actually does a pretty admirable job of being suitable for a range of sizes. It is adjustable in multiple places, from the back band and halter tie of the bra, to the waistbands of the knickers and suspender belt, and even the length of the suspenders.

It’s pretty suitable for a range of bust sizes, too. Once I adjusted the band size appropriately, the underwires sat securely under my boobs and the soft lace cups actually contained my G-cups.

The bra is a bit fiddly to get into. This is because the fastening mechanism isn’t a traditional bra clasp, but a simple suspender-style hook that’s pretty small. I found it easiest to put it on backwards, fasten it at the front, and then twist it to be on the right way.

Comfort-wise, the lace is very soft and a delight to wear.

Look

I adore the look of the whole Passion Flower range! The bright colour is eye-catching and the floral design is super fun and femme. I feel flirty and feminine when I wear this set.

The wired cups and halterneck design also make it possible to get pretty epic cleavage out of this set, especially if you’re well-endowed in the boob department. The criss-cross detailing draws attention to the cleavage and waistline, while the sheer lace reveals tantalising hints of skin.

Pair with nude stockings for the complete look.

The Verdict

Playful yet elegant, stylish and striking… the Passion Flower Bra Set is an absolute win for me. I loved wearing it and it is definitely going to become a firm favourite.

An ideal addition to your bedroom/sex club wardrobe or a fun sexy gift for the femme in your life.

Get the set for a bargain £24.99 from Lovehoney.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this and all my review posts. Want to support the blog? Buying me a coffee is a great way to do that!

12 Days of Lovehoney "Best Night Ever" kit review

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Best Night Ever Couple’s Sex Toy Kit

Published on December 10, 2020May 9, 2024 by Amy

It’s already day ten of the #12DaysofLovehoney project! After today, I have just one more review to publish and then the very special giveaway coming on Saturday. Today, we’re looking at Lovehoney’s “Best Night Ever” Couple’s Sex Toy Kit.

Oh, and while you’re here, check out the whole series!

What’s in the Box and Who Is It For?

The Best Night Ever kit is one of Lovehoney’s sex toy bundles. It includes five toys:

Vibrating silicone butt plug
Silver bullet vibe
Stretchy silicone cock ring that can be used with or without the bullet vibrator
Finger vibrator
Reversible penis stroker

Box of Lovehoney Best Night Ever sex toy kit for couples

This kit is designed for a couple consisting of a person with a penis and a person with a vulva. (The packaging and ad copy does, sadly, use gendered language along the “for him” and “for her” lines.) So bear that in mind as we proceed with the review. I’d love to see Lovehoney come out with some additional, similar kits that are geared at couples with two penis owners or two vulva owners!

Sex toys for couples in Lovehoney Best Night Ever kit

I thought I’d look at each item in turn, and then at the set as a whole.

Silicone Butt Plug

This is probably the best item in the kit from a quality point of view. It’s a little over 5″ in length, of which 4″ are insertable. It tapers to a narrow tip, making it comfortable to insert, and the silicone base makes it both body-safe and comfortable to wear for some time.

The silicone butt plug takes 1 AAA battery, and offers 3 vibration speeds and 7 patterns. The vibrations are mediocre in strength and fairly buzzy, but the plug itself is of great quality. If you’re looking for a basic, slimline plug, the Best Night Ever kit has got you covered.

Silver Bullet Vibe

As far as I can tell, this is near identical to the silver bullet vibe that Lovehoney sells as a separate product… and that was the first sex toy I ever bought at the tender age of 18!

It’s made of hard ABS plastic and takes one AAA battery. Like the butt plug, it features 3 speeds and 7 patterns. I think it’s the same motor that’s in the butt plug, but the vibrations feel a little stronger. That’s probably because hard plastic doesn’t dampen the vibrations in the same way that silicone does.

Still not super powerful and still pretty buzzy, but overall not a bad first vibe for someone who doesn’t need very intense stimulation to get off. My first little Lovehoney bullet vibe served me well for a good couple of years!

Cock Ring

This silicone cock ring can be used by itself or with the bullet vibe. It features two rings, one to go around the penis and one behind the testicles. The rings are very slim and stretchy, allowing them to fit snugly but comfortably around most penises.

The purpose of a cock ring is to restrict blood flow out of the penis, making the wearer’s erection harder and longer lasting. At first glance, I wasn’t sure this ring would do anything. However, it’s stronger than it looks!

Using it with the bullet vibe can provide some gentle additional stimulation which can be pleasurable for both the wearer and their partner.

Finger Vibe

The finger vibrator is the weakest aspect of this kit, for me. For one thing, the ring you use to put it on your finger is ridiculously small. I have pretty tiny hands and found it too tight and uncomfortable on any but my little finger.

Finger vibrator from Lovehoney sex toys couples kit

Second, the vibrations are truly pathetic. I didn’t know it was possible for something to be so buzzy it makes my clitoris itch, but here we are. There’s no way this would ever do anything for me except numb me out and make me grumpy.

Reversible Stroker

The reversible stroker provides two different sensations. It’s tight but stretchy, so whatever size your penis is you can expect a snug and pleasurable fit. You’ll need to use plenty of lube both inside the stroker and on the penis, or it could be uncomfortable.

The reversible stroker is made of a TPE style soft plastic which, while not toxic and safe for external play, is a porous material. That means it will degrade over time. You’ll probably get a few months out of it, but I recommend investing in a silicone stroker once you’ve established that you like the sensation!

Best Night Ever Kit: Overall Contents & Value

The Best Night Ever sex toy kit is a mixed bag. The items are of decent quality and made of body-safe materials. However, where it really falls down is in the strength (or lack thereof) of the motors.

Best Night Ever sex toys for couples kit

That being said, this kit retails for a pretty affordable £39.99 ($49.99 US), which is cheaper than buying all the products separately. If you’re new to toys and just trying things out to see what you like, this kit could be a good place to start. For people who are just looking for a few basic staples, it will probably serve your needs, too. If you’re after more powerful toys, though, skip the kit and invest in one powerful vibrator instead.

Header image for review of the Clone a Willy KIit

[Toy Review] Clone a Willy

Published on December 9, 2020May 10, 2024 by Amy

Have you ever wanted a lifesize, silicone replica of your own (or your partner’s) penis? Well, you’re in luck! Clone a Willy is a company that makes kits that allow you to make a replica dick at home. There’s also now a Clone a Pussy, by the way! Lovehoney kindly sent me the Clone a Willy kit for Day 9 of #12DaysofLovehoney, and Mr CK and I had quite the adventure making it.

Let’s see how we got on, shall we? Oh, and check out the whole review series here.

What’s in the Clone a Willy Kit?

The Clone a Willy kit comes packaged in a plastic tube, which also serves as the molding tube. Inside, you’ll find:

Instruction leaflet
Packet of molding power
2 tubs of silicone
Mini thermometer
Single speed plastic vibrator
Stirring stick

Some of the contents of the Clone a Willy Kit

It’s worth noting that the kit doesn’t include every single thing you need. Fortunately, everything else you need is likely something you already have. You’ll need to have to hand:

A mixing pot to mix the molding powder (we used a plastic jug to make pouring easier)
A large wooden spoon
A disposable container to mix the silicone in (we used a well-cleaned plastic takeaway tub)
Means of measuring water in precise quantities
A way of keeping time (we used the timer function on my smartphone)
A square of scrap cardboard

How Does it Work?

The process of casting your penis isn’t all that difficult, but it takes a bit of precision and care.

First, you’ll need to cut the tube to size. It should be half an inch longer than your erect penis. Next, you’ll need to measure out 1 3/4 cups (that’s 414ml) of lukewarm water and let it cool to exactly 90F (32C). That’s what the thermometer is for. Be aware that this can take longer than you think!

Once the water is at the right temperature, you mix the molding powder in and stir it for exactly 45 seconds. Pour the mix into the tube, insert your erect penis, and hold it still until the mix starts to set. The instructions say 1-2 minutes, but this wasn’t quite enough. All in, it took around 4 minutes.

Voila, you have a mold! Then all you have to do is mix up the silicone, pour it into the mold, add the vibrator, and leave it to set for 24 hours.

How Hard is It?

The tricksy part of this whole process is the precision – getting the right amount of water, making sure it’s exactly the right temperature, and stirring for the right amount of time. Once the molding power goes in the water you have to act quickly, so make sure the dick being cast is erect and ready to go before you start mixing! (Staying hard is also a challenge when your dick is in lukewarm molding mix, I’m told. Have some porn or a sexy naked partner to hand!)

Mr CK has quite a lot of body hair, so we applied a generous amount of vaseline before we started casting. If you’re on the hairy side, I highly recommend this approach, otherwise you might end up getting an unwanted wax job!

The other thing to bear in mind is that this process can get messy! You have to hold the tube full of liquid against your groin for several minutes in a slightly upward-tilted angle, and some WILL spill out. Put a towel or an old sheet down before you start, and don’t do this in a carpeted area if you can possibly help it.

Clean-up isn’t too difficult. The molding mix washes off skin easily. Pro tip for cleaning your utensils and mixing bowl: wait for the leftover mix to completely dry, and then it will just peel away.

The molding is by far the hardest bit. Once that’s sorted, mixing up and pouring the silicone is a breeze. The one thing to be aware of is that you have to mix the silicone for several minutes (we did about 8 minutes) and then pour it as slowly as possible.

So how did it turn out?

We got a very promising mold from our dick casting! And the silicone is the most gorgeously bright and vibrant colour:

As per the advice, we decided to leave the mold to set overnight and then pour the silicone the next morning. As such, the final product is currently setting and I’ll add some photos tomorrow. Watch this space!

The Outcome

Ta-da!

Finished purple silicone dildo made with Clone a Willy Kit

After this adventure, I have a newfound appreciation for folks who make beautiful dildos. This came out pretty well for a first go – its structurally sound, useable, and actually a pretty good likeness to its, erm, source material.

But it’s still a far cry from what the professionals can do. Support your favourite lovely dildo-makers, people!

(But also clone your/your partner’s dick at home with one of these kits, because it’s fun!)

Final Verdict

This whole experience was messy, awkward, and absolutely hilarious. You’ll need a good sense of humour if you want to make a Clone a Willy, but we had tonnes of fun making ours!

The Clone a Willy kit retails for £34.99 from Lovehoney ($44.99 US).

I’ll just leave you with this:

Me: “What do you think people do with their cloned dick if they have a really bad breakup?”
Him: (beat) “Will it blend?”

Header image for a review of the Lovehoney Empress Body

[Lingerie Review] Lovehoney Empress Body

Published on December 8, 2020May 10, 2024 by Amy

Today is the first of two lingerie reviews that will be featured in my #12DaysofLovehoney series. I first received pictures of the Empress collection quite a while ago, and I was smitten from first sight! It was hard to choose the piece I liked most, but I eventually settled on the Empress body.

Let’s dive in, shall we? Oh, and while you’re here, check out all the posts in this series.

Empress Body: First Impressions

Empress is a line of black and red lingerie from Lovehoney. The line features four different styles, and all are also available in plus size variations.

The Empress Body is a one-piece black lace body with red satin detailing. It features a plunging neckline, high-cut leg, and low back. There are also removeable suspenders, so you can wear it with matching stockings or by itself. Here’s how it looks on the model:

Lovehoney model wearing the Empress Body — Image: Lovehoney (used with permission)

My first impression when I took the Empress Body out of the packaging was of quality and luxury. The materials feel lovely and it’s obviously beautifully made. I couldn’t wait to try it on and see how it looked.

Fit & Comfort

The Empress Body fits me really well! The waist band is stretchy and the bra style clasps at the back have three settings. The shoulder straps and suspenders are also highly adjustable.

It even contains my boobs reliably unless I lie down on my side (in which case they do whatever they damn well please and I am yet to find the garment that can stop them!) It’s nice to have an item of lingerie I can walk around in without feeling as though I’m having to tuck my nipples back into it every few seconds.

I wear a size 14 and I ordered the large as recommended, which ran true to size.

The Empress Body is even reasonably comfortable. The lace is soft and feels nice against my skin, and there are no uncomfortable wires or pinchy/scratchy bits.

Another nice touch is the popper fastenings on the crotch. My partner appreciated being able to pop them open and says they give the Empress Body an extra few points from him!

Look & Materials

The Empress Body is just absolutely gorgeous! The scalloped lace is luxurious and elegent, while the red detailing is super striking.

I particularly love the shape of this piece. The red band sits at the narrowest part of the waist and creates a gorgeous hourglass silhouette. And the plunging neckline emphasises the breasts and creates phenomenal cleavage!

I feel so sexy in this item. It’s been a long time since a piece of lingerie made me feel this good.

Final thoughts

I absolutely adore this piece – I’m so, so impressed with it! I hope we can go to sex clubs again sometime in the not too distant future so that I can wear it and show it off. I think it would pair wonderfully with some ruby red sky-high heels.

The Empress Body retails for £32.99 ($39.99 US) – a steal for a piece of this quality! It’s a new favourite.

Header image for caramel latte lube review

[Lube Review] Lovehoney Caramel Latte Flavoured Lubricant

Published on December 7, 2020April 24, 2024 by Amy

It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a lube! But the #12DaysofLovehoney campaign is giving me an opportunity to try a few things I might not normally get to. Today, we’re looking at a special limited edition product for the festive season: Lovehoney’s caramel latte flavoured lube!

Oh, and check out the rest of the series while you’re here.

Festive Flavour

Lovehoney’s caramel latte lube is a new seasonal release. It’s a water-based formula that comes in a 100ml (3.4 fl oz) pump bottle. It is the latest edition to Lovehoney’s growing flavoured lubes line.

The bottle bears the signature bubbles design that features on various Lovehoney lubes. In this case, the bubbles and product name are… well, caramel coloured.

Ingredients

This is a water-based lube, and so it is unsurprising that water is the first ingredient on the list.

Let’s take a quick look at the other main ingredients:

Sorbitol. This is a sugar alcohol which is generally recognised as safe (including for consumption) in small quantities. However, it’s worth being aware that sugar can cause yeast infections, so exercise caution and maybe avoid this lube if you’re prone to them.
Potassium sorbate. This is a preservative that is generally considered safe and is a much better alternative to parabens.
Polysorbate 20. This is a non-toxic emulsifier that is added to many water-based cosmetics and skincare products.
Diazolidinyl urea. This is an antimicrobial preservative used in many cosmetics. The answer to “is it safe?” seems to be “maybe.” According to The Skincare Chemist, it can cause an allergic reaction. Be careful if you have allergies or sensitivities.
Citric acid. This natural preservative is extremely common and is broadly safe, though has been known to cause irritation to some very sensitive people.
Sucralose. This common artificial sweetener is essentially a form of sugar. That means it’s another risk for yeast infections if you’re prone to such things.

So what’s the verdict? There’s nothing in here that makes me go “oh hell no!” off the bat, but I’d recommend exercising caution if you have allergies, sensitivities, or are prone to infections.

To be fair, the bottle does specify that the lube is for external use only. For that reason, I recommend keeping it for oral sex only, and keeping it away from any internal areas. If you’re using it for oral, take a minute to rinse off before doing any penetrative play. Switch to a gentle water-based lube for anything involving penetration.

By the way: this lube is also completely vegan-friendly, as it contains no animal-derived or animal-tested ingredients.

How Does It Taste?

Honestly, not bad!

I wasn’t at all convinced I’d like the caramel latte flavoured lube. I don’t always get on well with anything with artificial flavourings and I find a lot of fruity lubes are either too sickly sweet or just taste like chemicals.

But this one was a pleasant surprise! It’s sweet but not overly sickly, and you only need a little bit to get the flavour. It also actually tastes like a caramel latte!

Feel and Clean-Up

The caramel latte lube can get a little sticky if you leave it for too long. I guess that’s due to the sugar-based ingredients. However, it lasts fairly well and I didn’t need to keep re-applying it, which I appreciated.

As it’s water-based, the caramel latte lube is a breeze to clean up. Just rinse off with some warm water. It also won’t stain your sheets. Water-based lube is compatible with all body-safe sex toy materials including silicone, glass, ABS plastic, stainless steel, and wood.

Do I Recommend It?

I wouldn’t suggest the caramel latte lube as a bedside staple to use every time you play. For the reasons I’ve mentioned, it’s really only suitable for external use (though oral sex is the entire point of flavoured lubes anyway.) But if you’re not sensitive to any of the ingredients and enjoy a sweet, slightly coffee-ish flavour, it can be a good sexy stocking stuffer or a fun way to change up your oral sex routine once in a while.

The Lovehoney caramel latte lube retails for £7.99.

Header for a review of the Lovehoney glow-in-the-dark dildo

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo

Published on December 6, 2020May 9, 2024 by Amy

Here we are, already half way through the #12DaysofLovehoney project! It’s been super fun bringing a mixed bag of reviews to you lovely folks over the last few days, and I’m excited for the next six. I’m also in the process of setting up reviews for 2021, which is already looking super exciting.

Let’s dive into today’s review. Check out the rest of the series, too!

A glow-in-the-dark dildo? Why!?

Why not, that’s why.

That’s right – today, we’re looking at Lovehoney’s new glow-in-the-dark dildo! (Described in the product copy as a “dazzling disco stick,” which I find hilariously charming.)

It’s a clear silicone dildo with strip of blue glow-in-the-dark material inside (it also comes in pink, if that’s more your colour.) It is semi-realistic in design, with a veined shaft, prominent head that mimics a circumcised bio cock, and balls at the base. The total length is 7.5″, the insertable length is 5.5″, and the shaft is 1.5″ in diameter.

It is, unusually, made with a translucent silicone. At first glance, it looks a bit like some of the jelly toys I’ve seen over the years, so I wanted to be sure it was really silicone. Don’t worry – it definitely is. That means the glow-in-the-dark dildo is completely body-safe and you can use it with confidence.

The glow-in-the-dark dildo features a suction cup, so you can stick it to the wall/floor/window/shower for hands-free play. The suction cup is impressively strong and stays put very well. This dildo will also fit nicely in many strap-on harnesses (you’ll need a 1.5″ O-ring.) Thanks to the balls and suction cup base, it’s even safe for anal play. (Never use anything anally that doesn’t have a large or flared base!)

Does it actually glow?

Yep!

Don’t ask me how, because I do not understand the science behind glow-in-the-dark things. But yes, it does, and it’s impressively bright. The instructions say to keep the dildo in the light for a short while before taking it into a dark space. I sat it next to my daylight lamp for 15 minutes, before taking it into my darkened bedroom to see the glow.

Here’s the result:

How does it feel?

The glowing is a fun touch and makes this toy a bit different from all the millions of other great silicone dildos out there. But does it actually do its job?

Fortunately, the glow-in-the-dark dildo isn’t all gimmick and no substance. It is also perfectly functional basic dildo that’s fun and pleasurable to use. The shaft is very flexible, making it easy to angle it just right to hit your preferred internal spots. It’s soft, squishy, and not too girthy. If I’m just after some penetration to accompany clitoral stimulation or warm me up for p-in-v sex, it’s perfect.

Some reviewers have reported finding the veins pleasurable, but the inside of my vagina isn’t really sensitive enough to notice them. What does feel great is the pronounced, realistic head, which is ideal for targeting the G-spot.

Bonus: the balls make a convenient handle for thrusting purposes!

One thing to be aware of is that the silicone is very matte in texture and therefore feels quite “grabby”. You’ll want to use plenty of lube for comfortable play. A gentle water-based lube is ideal with silicone toys.

So do I recommend the glow-in-the-dark dildo?

This is a decent quality silicone dildo at a great price! It retails for £24.99 ($29.99 US) at Lovehoney. If you’re after a functional all-rounder, the glow-in-the-dark dildo is a great pick. Even better if you like a little fun and whimsy your toys!

A cute way to bring some glow to your bedroom, or a fun stocking stuffer for a lover.

Header image for review of Bondage Seductions sex game for couples

[Game Review] “Bondage Seductions”

Published on December 5, 2020May 10, 2024 by Amy

There are a number of things that are consistently more appealing in theory than in reality. One such concept? Sex games. Buckle in, folks – it’s #12DaysofLovehoney Day 5, and we’re looking at Bondage Seductions, a sex game by Kheper Games. (Check out the whole series here.)

Dear God, where to start?

Bondage Seductions is a sex game for couples. It retails for £24.99 at Lovehoney. The game arrives in a small square box, and inside you’ll find:

36 game cards
A pair of silky “ties” (lengths of ribbon)
2 dice
A red elasticated blindfold
A mini rubber flogger

The quality of these items is… Not Great. The flogger looks shoddily made and the materials of the ties and blindfold look and feel cheap. The cards contain the same copy in four languages (English, German, French, and Spanish.) I can’t speak for any of the other languages, but the English passages are poorly written and feature frequent typos and weird syntax.

Not a great first impression, but let’s keep going.

How it’s played

The rules are simple: roll the 2 dice, and choose the corresponding numbered card (they are numbered 1-1 through 6-6 – the red die indicate the first number, the black die the second number.)

Contents of Bondage Seductions couples sex game

Cards in red are “for her to read,” and cards in black are “for him to read” (more on that in a minute.) You read your chosen scenario and then act it out, using the included props as appropriate.

How is it problematic? Let me count the ways…

First, this game gets its terminology all wrong. Which might seem like a small thing, but is actually a big deal.

“Bondage” is not a synonym for “BDSM” or “kinky sex”. Bondage is one specific kink: restraining other people and/or being restrained. This game should be called “Kinky Seductions” or something, because most of it doesn’t involve bondage. Again: stop using “bondage” and “BDSM” interchangeably. They’re different things.

The game also continually uses the word “whip” to describe a flogger. Again, they’re completely different implements! The two words are not synonymous! This is a whip. This is a flogger. The item in this game is (an admittedly shit excuse for) a flogger.

Terminology matters in kink, because we can only negotiate and talk about our desires and limits effectively if we use the right language. If someone says they like whips but they actually mean floggers… you see how that could lead to some really troublesome miscommunications? Plus, beginners should not be using actual whips! Single-tail whips are seriously dangerous pieces of kit that can put you or your partner in hospital if you don’t know what you’re doing. They require training and practice to use properly. Using the correct terminology helps keep people safe.

(The game also, even more inexplicably, refers to the flogger as a “paddle”. This is a paddle.)

Secondly, this game is lax to the point of being irresponsible when it comes to safety. There are cards that explain what safewords are and how to use them, which I guess is something. There’s also a mention of consent and only going as far as you want to go in the instructions. But that’s it – and that’s not enough.

Several of the activities listed can be dangerous either physically (e.g. spanking) or psychologically (e.g. non-consent roleplay) if done incorrectly. While I appreciate that game creators can’t give an essay on safety for every activity, some context is essential.

I was horrified to see one card suggesting that you flog your lover’s back, without making any distinction between hitting the upper back and shoulders (generally fine) and hitting the lower back, kidney area, and spine (incredibly dangerous and absolutely NOT fine.)

We can’t just nudge total newbies into impact play or non-consent roleplay scenes without telling them how to do so and emerge unharmed. This is grossly irresponsible.

Unnecessary gendering like whoa

This game takes unnecessary and aggressive gendering to the next level. It begins from the premise of assuming the players are a heterosexual, cisgender couple. There was absolutely no reason to do that! The cards could easily have been split by Top/bottom rather than male/female, or even just included a bunch of scenarios and left it to the players to decide who would take which roles.

It’s also not just cisheteronormative, but incredibly sexist. Here are a few choice quotes (all genuine, all copied down verbatim):

“Doesn’t he know you’d have an orgasm on the spot if he’d lift a finger and do the dishes for once in his life?”

“Perhaps he’d chatting with his mother when he should be asking about your day? Or worse yet… screaming at other drivers when he should be offering you compliments about your new hairdo!”

“Men are visual, and women are more sensitive to touch.”

“Don’t you wish sometimes that he would just shut up?”

This game was designed by people who don’t have a very good opinion of either men or women. It also seems to carry the assumption that people in heterosexual partnerships kinda hate each other. And honestly, I just find that sad.

ALSO. There are two cards titled “Safe Word For Her” and “Safe Word for Him.” Apart from the pronouns, these two cards are identical. There is literally zero point to this. Just have one safeword card or explain the concept in the rules! Seriously, this takes “gendering things that have no reason to be” to the next level.

The verdict

Bondage Seductions is just… really, really bad. It’s not just cheesy, cheap, and badly put-together. It encourages some really questionable – and even dangerous – practices and pushes overly rigid gender roles.

I can’t even say it’s good for people exploring BDSM for the first time, because it isn’t. It doesn’t help you to communicate your desires, explore things safely, or actually figure out what you like.

Seriously. Do not bother. This is awful.

[Book Review] “Position of the Week” from Lovehoney

Published on December 4, 2020April 30, 2024 by Amy

Happy Friday, friends! And welcome to day 4 of #12DaysofLovehoney, where I am bringing you a new product review every single day. Check out the whole series. Today we’ve got something a bit different. Instead of a toy, we’re looking at the Position of the Week book from Lovehoney.

**What is Position of the Week?**

Position of the Week is a book of 52 sex positions (the idea being that there’s one for each day of the week – “52 positions for a year of pleasure,” as the cover says.) It’s a pocket-sized hardback book.

Each double-page spread includes a silhouette-style drawing of a couple having sex in the given position on the left page. The right page gives the position number, name, and a brief description.

Who is it for?

I have to be upfront: this book is very, very heterosexual.

Every position is designed with a cisgender male/female couple having penetrative (penis-in-vagina) sex in mind. The illustrations even feature a woman drawn in pink and a man drawn in blue. There’s also a lot of gendered language throughout (“he does X, she does Y”, “girl power”, and so on.)

Seriously, it’s so freaking straight I can feel my bisexuality leaking out all over its pages.

Pages from the Position of the Week book

Now, a lot of the positions in this book would actually work for different body and genital configurations. Many of the positions would work just as well for two vulva owners using a strap-on, or for anal sex with any configuration of bodies.

So queer and trans folks absolutely could use it. But the language and the whole aesthetic is so cishetero that it’s likely to feel alienating. I feel pretty put off by it and I’m a cis woman in a relationship with a cis man (though I am not straight.)

So yeah. This is a book for cishetero couples who have p-in-v sex. Let’s go with that.

Consent disclaimer = yay!

On the 3rd page, after the welcome but before the positions start, you get a little consent disclaimer. This states that you should talk before trying something new, that everything must be 100% consensual, and that you should stop if anything hurts or is uncomfortable.

It’s pretty much Consent 101 summed up in 33 words. But you know what? I’m here for it. Because fundamentally, this book isn’t for people like me – sex nerds who engage in non-traditional relationships and have long and nuanced conversations about sexuality out of academic as well as personal interest. This book is for people who are likely newer to sexual experimentation – many of whom might understand that consent is important, but not have a sophisticated understanding of exactly what that means or how to talk about it.

Basically, what Lovehoney have done with this little one-pager helps to normalise and demystify consent conversations. And I’m very here for that.

So what about the actual positions?

A lot of them are pretty good! We have some obvious-but-decent choices (doggy style, sit-down sex, spooning) and some creative interpretations on classics like reverse cowgirl and standing sex.

Others were definitely created for the athletically-inclined. No. 30 (“the Can-Can”) requires the vulva-owning partner to be able to get their foot on their partner’s shoulder while standing. That is… simply not going to be possible for a huge number of bodies, including mine!

Positions like the “Standing Thrust” and “Up Against It” require the penetrating partner to be able to support most or all of their partner’s weight while thrusting. Again: just not going to happen. And I’m going to go ahead and call No. 47 (“the Raunchy Rider”) physiologically impossible for 99% of people.

This book clearly assumes that women are tiny, petite, and flexible, while men are muscular and strong. If that’s not you, it can lead to some pretty negative body feelings.

On the plus side, a number of the position descriptions reference clitoral stimulation, which the vast majority of people with vulvas need in order to get off. So that’s something.

So do I recommend it?

Meh.

If you’re cis, heterosexual, skinny/strong, and athletic, you’ll probably get something from it. Otherwise, you might find a few interesting position ideas but largely be left thinking “…yaeah but my body doesn’t work that way.”

Position of the Week retails for £6.99 from Lovehoney ($8.99 US). A fun stocking-stuffer if you’re within the very specific demographic it caters to! Otherwise, don’t bother.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this and all toy review posts. Want to support the blog? Buying me a coffee is a great way to do that!

Header for a review of the Lovehoney Nouveau Wand

[Toy Review] Nouveau Rosy Gold Wand Vibrator

Published on December 3, 2020May 9, 2024 by Amy

Update 04/03/22: this product has been discontinued.

Welcome to day 3 of the #12DaysofLovehoney project, where I’ve partnered with Lovehoney to bring you a different review every day for 11 days… and then a super-special giveaway on the final day! Check out the entire series to get some ideas for your festive gift-giving. Today we’re looking at the Nouveau Rosy Gold Wand Vibrator, a new limited-edition rechargeable wand.

Nouveau Wand: First Impressions

The Nouveau Wand arrived in gorgeous black and gold art nouveau-style packaging. The immediate impression is of luxury and a high-end product. Inside the box you’ll find the wand, the magnetic USB charging cable, the user manual, and a cute little door sign that looks like this:

Funny door sign that came with the Nouveau Rosy Gold Wand Vibrator

The Nouveau Wand is 12 inches in length and is the classic wand shape first popularised by the (not actually Hitachi) Magic Wand. The body is a gorgeous rose gold colour and made of ABS plastic, while the head is black silicone. It features a flexible neck and a two-button user interface.

What sets this wand apart from the majority of full-size wand vibrators I’ve tried is that it’s completely waterproof. So if you’ve always wanted to play with your favourite wand in the tub or shower, you’re in luck! I’ve had over an hour of play on a full charge, and it’s still going strong, so the battery power is impressive.

So far, so good. But how did it fare in use?

Weight and Ease of Use

Considering its size, the Nouveau Wand is lighter than you might think from looking at it. The lightweight plastic body makes it much easier to hold than most of the other wands in my collection.

Sometimes, when I have a long session with one of my heavier wands, I find my hand and wrist end up stiff and sore by the time I’m done. The Nouveau did not present the same problem because it’s so much lighter. The handle is tapered and becomes narrower towards the bottom, which makes it comfortable and ergonomic to hold.

The controls couldn’t be simpler. The smaller round button turns the toy on and off, while the larger button cycles through patterns and settings. (There are up AND down controls, praise the sex toy gods!)

The Nouveau Wand Vibrator buttons close-up

The flexible head makes it easy to position the toy in different ways against your body.

Fun pro tip for you: if you want to use wands but find the weight or bulk difficult, an orgasm belt can help some people. Another option is to pile the wand up on a couple of pillows and straddle it face down.

Packs a Powerful Punch

The Nouveau Wand is seriously impressive from a power perspective. I might go as far as to say it’s the most powerful rechargeable wand I’ve ever tried.

I exclaimed “FUCKING HELL” when I took it out of the box and turned it on, because I had not expected it to be so powerful. The Nouveau Wand basically has five speeds: medium, high, HIGH, oh-my-god, and holy-fucking-shit. Yeah, this thing is intense.

It also offers five vibration patterns, in case that’s something you care about.

The most important question, of course, is this: did it get me off? And the answer is, oh my goodness, a thousand times yes! The deep, penetrating rumbles made my clit very happy indeed.

I’ll be packing the Nouveau Wand for sex club outings[1] when I want the power of a wand but might not have access to power outlets. I’m also likely to reach for it when I’m craving power but my hands can’t deal with the weight of a heavier mains-powered wand.

The one downside? It’s pretty loud. We certainly can’t expect wands to be silent, but be aware if discretion is important to you that this one sounds like somewhere between a lawnmower and a jet engine firing up!

[1]*sob* remember those?

Final thoughts

I’ve been a wand lover for a long time, and there’s a reason for that. They’re just so good. Wands aren’t discreet, they aren’t quiet, and they don’t pretend to be something else. A wand is a sex toy that says “I am here to kick ass and provide orgasms!”

I’m very happy to recommend the Nouveau Wand. It retails for £79.99 from Lovehoney and would make a lovely treat for yourself or a luxurious gift for a lover.

Header for a review of the Desire Bullet Vibrator from the Lovehoney Desire range

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Desire Bullet Vibrator

Published on December 2, 2020July 5, 2024 by Amy

It’s the second day of #12DaysofLovehoney, a special festive review project! Check out the whole series and please let me know if there are any particular products you’d love me to review in the future. Today’s review is the Desire Bullet Vibrator, from Lovehoney’s Desire collection.

Desire Bullet Vibrator

The Desire Luxury Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator (to give it its full title) is a classic bullet vibe from Lovehoney’s Desire range of luxurious, high-end toys. It’s the traditional bullet shape, tapering to a soft point at the tip:

The Desire Bullet is 3 inches in length and fully waterproof. It is rechargeable via the included magnetic USB cable, and I got about an hour of play out of a full (2 hour) charge. That was on full power, so if you’re playing at a lower intensity it may last a bit longer.

It came attractively packaged in a Desire black and purple branded box. Also included was a cute little faux-leather storage pouch. This is ideal for travel and storage, and also features a hole for the cable so you can charge your toy discreetly.

The Desire Bullet is rigid, and coated in smooth, body-safe silicone. Like the rest of the toys for vulvas in the range, it’s a gorgeous deep purple colour and stamped with the Lovehoney heart insignia.

Simple one-button interface

The Desire Bullet operates via a single button situatied on the base of the toy. Just press once to switch it on, press repeatedly to cycle through the speeds and patterns, and hold it down for two seconds to switch the toy off.

The button is raised, making it easy to feel and press without needing to look, and easy to press. I do wish it came with increase/decrease controls. This isn’t a cheap toy, and only being able to scroll through settings in one direction is a downside.

Power and patterns

The Desire Bullet has three constant speeds and a slightly bonkers seventeen patterns (some of them are very similar to each other – there are only so many variations on bzzz bzzz BZZZZZ in existence!)

The plus side is that this makes it pretty versatile for a bullet, which you’d expect when paying almost £50 for a toy. The downside is that it takes forever to scroll through them all (that damn one button interface again!)

I’m much more into constant vibrations rather than patterns. I played around with them a bit, but found them overwhelmingly unsatisfying. That’s not so much a criticism of the toy as an indictment of just how little I like patterns.

The constant vibration speeds are pretty good. It starts out at a low rumble, good for warm-up. The vibrations do get a little more buzzy as you increase the power, so be aware of that if deep rumbles are more your speed. I still found the top setting enjoyable to use, and it didn’t numb me out like extremely buzzy vibes tend to do!

How does it feel?

I do like this toy. It takes a very simple concept – the classic bullet vibe – and does it really well. You can lay it flat against your vulva for a broader sensation, or use the tip for pinpoint clitoral stimulation.

The silicone is silky soft and feels lovely, and is a change from the hard plastic of my usual go-to bullet. The Desire Bullet is also super light, making it a good option if heavy or bulky toys are challenging for you. It’s also pretty quiet, considering the level of power on offer.

I can get off reliably and consistently with the Desire Bullet. I’ll definitely reach for it again.

By the way: water-based lube makes everything better!

So do I recommend it?

If you’re looking for a reliable and versatile basic, look no further. I’ve had mixed experiences with the Desire range – they’re beautifully designed, but haven’t always been powerful enough for me.

A good quality and body-safe bullet vibe is a great addition to any toybag. Whether you’re building a collection, buying your first toy, or treating a lover for the holidays, they’re a pretty safe bet that work well for lots of different bodies. They’re also small, ideal for travel, and easy on the hands and wrists, but still pack a punch stimulation-wise.

Grab your Desire Bullet from Lovehoney for £59.99 ($69.99 US).