[Toy Review] The Godemiche Offbeat

I’ve been sitting on this one for a long damn time, in part because it took us so long to get to actually testing it. But after giving it a second trial run this morning, I am ready to tell you all about the Offbeat, from Godemiche.

It’s no secret that I fucking love Godemiche. This UK-based team run by husband-and-wife duo Adam and Monika have been making gorgeous, hand-poured silicone dildos for a number of years now… and now they’ve branched out into penis toys as well! (And yes, their marketing copy refers to the Offbeat as a “toy for the penis”, not a “toy for men” – hooray! I wish all companies would go this inclusive route).

The Godemiche Offbeat sitting on a red laptop keyboard.

Let’s go OffBeat…

The OffBeat is a tube-shaped silicone masturbator sleeve. Inside it has a simple bobble texture, while the outside has a gentle ripple. Each one has the company name stamped along the rim at the bottom, and the “G” Godemiche logo on the side. Each OffBeat comes in its own little storage tub – it looks like a miniature poster tube. This useful addition makes for easy and hygienic storage.

The Godemiche Offbeat lying on my desk

Sizes and colours and customising, oh my!

OffBeat comes in two sizes: Grande is 5cm in length, and Venti is 10cm in length. (And those who understand will know why these size names made me laugh!) Both sizes are 3cm in diameter. We received the longer Venti version for review. Even this larger size is compact and lightweight. Easy to throw in your bag for a date or a filthy weekend away!

Which size you pick is up to your preferences. If you prefer plenty of concentrated stimulation around the head of your penis, I suggest going for the smaller Grande. Godemiche point out that the Grande is also a great companion to oral sex. Simply tease the head of the penis for a while, then slide the Grande down the shaft and use it to stimulate the base of the penis while giving your partner head, simulating the feeling of a deeper blowjob. The longer Venti, on the other hand, is ideal if you prefer longer strokes and plenty of up-and-down motion. If you’re looking for something that comes closer to simulating penetration, you definitely want to go for the Venti.

The Godemiche Offbeat on a green carpet

One of my favourite things about Godemiche is the sheer variety of colours and styles on offer. Whatever colour toy you want, they can probably make it for you! I have a one-of-a-kind bi pride Ambit that I bought in a charity auction and it’s one of my favourite toys ever. I also bought a gorgeous red Adam in their last sale and I’m lusting HARD after this turquoise glittery Ambit.

The OffBeat currently comes in 6 standard colours, 8 fabulously bright UV colours, and 12 gorgeous pearlescent colours. Ours is pearlescent gold and it’s absolutely beautiful.

A refreshing body-safe offering

Sex toy options for people with penises are often woefully lacking. This is gradually changing as awesome companies like Hot Octopuss, Fun Factory and now Godemiche start offering brilliant cock toys. Unfortunately, most of the strokers on the market are still made of porous and sometimes toxic materials such as jelly, rubber, PVC, TPE/TPR and the notoriously vague “Realistic Feel”.

So of course I am delighted that the OffBeat is made of 100% silicone. This means it is completely body-safe: non-toxic and non-porous.

The Godemiche Offbeat on a purple dildo sticking to some black bathroom wall tiles
Featured Stunt Dildo is the Lovehoney 7 Inch Suction Cup Silicone Dildo

To clean your OffBeat after use, turn it inside out and wash it thoroughly with warm water and gentle soap. Take extra care to ensure that no fluids remain trapped between the bobbles. You can also sterilise your stroker by sticking it in a pan of boiling water for 10 minutes, or running it through the dishwasher in the top rack.

If you want to share the toy with a non fluid-bonded partner, it’s easy to give it a wash between uses or you can just wear a condom, which shouldn’t impede the toy’s performance in any way.

For maximum comfort and pleasure, use a good quality water-based lube. I recommend slathering plenty of lube inside the stroker and also putting some directly on your penis.

So how does it feel?

Now, obviously I don’t have a dick, so I turned to my trusty stunt-cock Mr CK to help me out with this one. His reaction when I lubed up the toy and slid it onto his cock was instantaneous. Apparently the bobbles on the inside of the toy provided a good amount of friction and sensation without needing to grip very hard at all. This may make it a good choice for people who find gripping hard during masturbation difficult, such as those who suffer from pain in their hands. I certainly found it made pleasuring him for a decent length of time easier.

The Godemiche Offbeat on the side of a bath, around a purple dildo

Mr CK also explained that one of the things he likes about this toy is that it is so simple but really makes masturbation feel substantially different from usual. He likened it to the difference between wanking with your dominant vs non-dominant hand, or the difference between masturbating yourself and having someone else do it for you. Basically, if you’re looking to change up your usual masturbation routine, grab yourself one of these!

The gentle ripple shape of the outside of the sleeve means it sits comfortably in the hand, a finger in each dip. We also tried the toy with me pleasuring him with it, and found this was equally true whichever of us was doing the work.

Size-wise, this is a flexible toy. It stretches well and then “hugs” the penis once it’s inside, so would suit a wide variety of penis lengths and girths.

An absolute hit. I think this one is going to live in the “easy access basket” for things we use all the time.

(The Easy Access Basket just needs its own damn post, doesn’t it?)

Do we recommend it?

We really like this toy! It’s simple, highly effective, body-safe, affordable and should suit a wide range of bodies.

OffBeat retails for £25 for the Venti size directly from Godemiche. The smaller Grande size is £20.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending us the OffBeat in exchange for an honest review. All views in this post are our own and images were taken by me. This post contains a couple of affiliate links, which send a small commission my way when you buy from them. Links to Godemiche are non-affiliated.

[Toy Review] Rocks Off Chaiamo

I have a major soft spot for Rocks Off. I encountered them at my first Eroticon, where I met the wonderful Tabitha Rayne and bought her brilliant creation, the Ruby Glow (the first toy I ever reviewed!) One of the main things I love about this company is that they create body-safe toys at really accessible, entry-level prices. Their stuff is even available in my local Sainsburys, which is just brilliant.

So I was thrilled when Tabitha offered me RO’s latest creation to review. Enter the Chaiamo!

Chaiamo Vital Details…

The black Rocks Off Chaimo vibrator.

The Chaiamo is a straight vibrator with a gently tapered tip – the classic “lipstick” shape. (Though without the ridiculous “let’s try to actually disguise it as a lipstick” gimmick, thank Goddess).

It is a little over 6″ long in total, with 5″ being insertable. At the widest point, the width is 1.25″. The Chaiamo is fully waterproof and USB rechargeable. The advertising copy says it gives around 3 hours’ use for a single charge, but mine was definitely more than that – probably closer to 4 hours in total, over several uses.

This toy comes in three colour-ways and, praise be, NONE OF THEM ARE PINK. It comes in classic black, a stylish deep burgundy, and a pretty turquoise. Good on RO for bucking the “make everything pink” trend. Chaiamo currently retails for $44.99 at Peepshow Toys and $39.99 at Shevibe. UK readers can pick one up for £39.99 at Lovehoney.

Materials, safety and cleaning

The Chaiamo’s main body is made of soft silicone, with metallic accent at the base. This means, of course, that it is phthalate-free, non-porous and totally body safe.

The black Rocks Off Chaiamo vibrator in a woman's hand.

As the Chaiamo is waterproof, you can clean it using warm water and a gentle soap, or use a body-safe medical wipe or 10% bleach solution to sterilise it more thoroughly. Remember not to boil-wash toys with motors!

The Chaiamo’s shape is ideal for using with a condom if you’re sharing with a non fluid-bonded partner. As ever, a good quality water-based lube is recommended.

Settings & Controls

The Chaiamo runs on a very simple one-button interface. The button (which sports the cute Rocks Off logo) is large and intuitively located on the base of the toy. It is easy and responsive to press. To turn the toy on or off, you simply hold down the button for 2 seconds.

The black Rocks Off Chaimo vibrator

The problem with one-button interfaces is that you cannot go back a step if you accidentally skip the setting you want – you have to scroll all the way back through. It’s an annoyance and the reason I generally prefer toys with +/- buttons, but it won’t ruin an otherwise good product for me.

The Chaiamo has ten settings in total: three constant speeds and seven patterns. I, along with (it seems) most of the sex blogging world, can honestly take or leave patterns. I occasionally enjoy playing around with them, especially if I’m doing a teasing or edging session, but if I just want to come then constant vibrations are where it’s at. Toy manufacturers, please consider this a plug for toys with more constant speeds and fewer patterns!

So how did it actually fare in use?

I’ve sometimes found Rocks Off toys, fab though they are, to not be quite powerful enough for my preferences. I love my Bamboo, but I tend to reach for it as a warm-up toy or when I am feeling especially sensitive.

So to say I was pleasantly surprised by the Chaiamo’s power was an understatement. At its higher speeds, this baby really packs a punch! I don’t know if RO have changed their motors generally or just used a different one in this slightly higher price-point toy, but good lord. And not only is it strong, but it’s rumbly, too. None of that horrible numbness you get from more buzzy toys. I am able to orgasm quickly and reliably with the Chaiamo, again and again. It’s been added to my easy-access basket of the toys I like best and use most often.

The gentle taper of the Chaiamo’s tip was great for me: I like a certain level of direct clit stimulation but not too pinpoint. (Remember the famed Zumio which I didn’t particularly like?) Be aware that if you like very pinpoint stimulation, this toy probably won’t be a good fit for you. But for my preferences, it was brilliant! Sometimes, it works really well for me by just pressing its length against my vulva and clit.

The Chaiamo is also a versatile toy, in that it can be just as easily used as an insertable as for clitoral play. I don’t like internal vibrations at all, so I didn’t use it in this way, but my friend Isabelle Lauren describes her experience very positively in her review.

Do I recommend it? 

If you’re looking for a powerful and versatile clit/G-spot toy at an affordable price, look no further! A great offering from one of my favourite companies. I can’t wait to see what they come out with next.

Thank you to Tabitha Rayne and Rocks Off for gifting me the Chaiamo in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are, as always, my own. Shopping via the affiliate links in this post helps me make a small commission and keep doing what I’m doing.

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Metallic Classic Magic Wand

I’m definitely not above acquiring a new version of a sex toy that I already own, if the company re-releases it in better colours. Look, I’ve got to live up to my #Sparklefemme goals, okay!? So when I first saw Lovehoney’s new twist on their Classic Magic Wand vibrator way back in summer, I knew I needed it in my life. Thankfully, my pals at Lovehoney HQ were able to hook me up.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

The Classic Wand… but SHINY!

The Metallic Classic Magic Wand is a new spin on Lovehoney’s bestselling Classic Wand. It’s a mains powered (UK plug!) multi-speed wand vibrator. It’s visually gorgeous. You all know I’m not super into pink toys, but the pink-fading-to-purple is definitely an aesthetic I can get behind.

Like most wand toys, it’s pretty hefty. The Metallic Wand is 32 inches in total length, with a 7.5″ circumference head. That said, it’s not excessively heavy for its size and level of power. The cable is a useful 1.8m long, so plugging in isn’t an issue if you don’t have outlets right next to your bed.

That scroll wheel tho!

One of the things I’ve always appreciated about the Lovehoney wands over other designs is the scroll-wheel control. It makes it so easy to change the vibration speed really quickly, with no annoying button pressing. It also means you can be super precise about the level of power you want.

This simple and easy user interface is something other toy designers could learn from. Also, bonus: this toy has no “patterns”! Just simple, steady vibration. Bliss.

New silicone head!

Apart from the aesthetic, this is the main change this version of the Classic Wand has gone through as far as I can tell. The head is now silicone! (Previously it was PVC, which was a bit grey-area for me in terms of body safety). I’m so glad they’ve made this change – silicone is none-porous, phthalate-free and 100% body-safe, so you can use your wand with confidence.

Clean your wand head with a body-safe sterile wipe and then a warm damp cloth. Being mains-powered, it is not waterproof and should not get wet! You can stretch a large condom over the head of your wand if you want to be extra cautious, or if you’re sharing in a non-fluid-bonded relationship. Water-based lube is recommended.

Did it match up, power wise?

You all know by now that I fucking love mains-powered wands. They’re my favourite types of toy, hands down. I love them because they’re just so damn powerful compared with literally anything else. Though this wand isn’t the absolutely most powerful on the market (that honour goes to the Doxy) it’s still very impressively strong and will be powerful enough to satisfy the vast majority of users. I can get off with it quickly and efficiently. The vibration is a little buzzy at higher settings, so I prefer it a speed or two below maximum.

The only downside is the noise

This isn’t the noisiest toy on the market by any stretch. However, the noise it makes is less of a low rumble and more of a higher-pitched whirr, which for some reason I found super distracting! I managed to mitigate the issue somewhat by using it under the blanket, but it’s definitely something to be aware of if you’re sensitive to noise. Wand vibrators are never going to be whisper-quiet, but the type of sound this one made was bothersome to me.

So do I recommend it?

Yeah, I really do. Wands are for everyone! They’re so often lumped in the category of “for women” but actually they’re great regardless of gender or anatomy. They’re obviously brilliant for clits but that’s not where the fun stops. Penis owner? Press your wand against the underside or head of your cock, or invest in a simple attachment for all-over buzz. Wands are also great for partnered sex – place it between you during P-in-V intercourse, or take turns getting each other off with it. You can even use it to give each other sensual back or full-body massages. And don’t forget you can get all kinds of attachments for your wand, making it a truly versatile investment.

The Metallic Classic Magic Wand retails for £49.99 ($69.99), putting it at the more affordable end of the spectrum for a body-safe, powerful wand.

What are you waiting for? Go buy one for the femme in your life. Even if the femme in your life is you!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Metallic Classic Magic Wand to review. All opinions, as ever, my own. Buying through my affiliate links sends me a small commission at no extra cost to you and helps keep the blog going. Images are by me. 

[Toy Review] Ruse Jammy Silicone Dildo by Blush Novelties

Can we acknowledge for a second how much great stuff Blush Novelties have been coming out with lately? From the best bullet to come out in ages which is rivaling the famed Tango in popularity, to their brilliant and colourful ‘Pride‘ line, this New York City based company is really one to watch. They’re already doing brilliant things and I suspect they’ll do more. Plus, their philosophy is “that all bodies are beautiful, worthy, and deserving of celebration and pleasure”. Can’t argue with that!

This new offering, the Ruse Jammy silicone dildo, was sent to me by our pals at Peepshow Toys. Visit them for all your body-safe pleasure product needs!

A sizeable realistic offering!

The Ruse Jammy is definitely a dildo for size-lovers. It’s 7.5″ long with a full 2″ in girth. For reference, the average factory-installed penis is around 5.1″ long and 1.4″ wide when erect. This is a sizeable toy! I gulped when I first took it out, but I’m unafraid in my quest to put things in my vagina and write about it for you… even things that make me go “eek!” when I see them.

The Ruse Jammy is made of 100% silicone, and has a suction cup. This means you can attach it to a hard surface – a wall, floor, bath/shower screen – and it also means it’s harness-compatible (why not pair with this fab Blush harness-brief I tested recently?) and anal safe.

The Ruse Jammy is also realistic in design. It has a veiny shaft, a subtle natural curve and a pronounced coronal ridge and  head. There’s even realistic-looking skin texturing and a meatus. This is a very well-designed realistic style toy! Of course, if realistic colouring is your thing you’ll want to look elsewhere – the Ruse Jammy comes in purple or jet black rather than anything resembling a lifelike skin tone. The silicone has a lovely smooth, satiny finish which feels wonderful to the touch.

Body-safety and things

This is a 100% silicone toy which means it’s completely body-safe. The best way to sterilise your silicone toys is to pop them in a pot of boiling water or the top shelf of the dishwasher. In between uses, wash with warm water and gentle soap or use a body-safe sterile wipe.

The Ruse Jammy is condom-compatible, but given the size you’ll want to use large condoms. Water-based lube is, as ever, recommended for silicone toys.

So how did I get on?

I’m not a size Queen, friends. I’m just not. I sometimes enjoy larger things inside of me (fisting is fun!) but more often than not, an average sized cock or small/medium dildo is more than enough to keep me satisfied.

I also have to be careful with depth of penetration, because I have an IUD and anything touching my cervix is painful. So realistically, taking this dildo all the way inside me simply wasn’t going to happen. Even so, I decided to give it a good go and see how I got on!

I tried it with one of my partners during a play session. With plenty of lube, we managed to get about half the shaft inside me relatively comfortably. It gave me a nice full feeling which I did very much enjoy. Once I’d got used to it, my partner tried fucking me with it. This, unfortunately, very quickly led to “Ow! Ouch! No! Too much!”

For me, the best use for this toy is to let it just sit inside me while I do other things such as clitoral play. Thrusting with a toy of this size is not something I find pleasurable.

So do I recommend it?

To size lovers, yes. If you’ve played with smaller dildos and just found they weren’t quite enough for you, the Ruse Jammy is a great and affordable larger option. Considering some toys this size run to £100 or more, the $33 (about £26) for a large silicone toy of this quality is an absolute steal.

I don’t recommend this one for beginners, or those who don’t know they can take large penetrative toys comfortably. But I wholeheartedly endorse it for length/girth lovers and those looking for a realistic toy at an affordable price.

Thanks to Peepshow Toys for sending me the Ruse Jammy to review! If you buy through my affiliate links, I make a small commission at no extra cost to you.

[Toy Review] Temptasia Harness Briefs & Jezebel Dildo

I’ve had these babies in my “to review” pile for ages. Unfortunately, I don’t have sex with vulva owners super often, and the dildo is a little too big for my current pegging adventures with my penis-owning partner, so it took a while for me to have chance to test them. However, I’ve now tested from both the giving and receiving perspective, so I feel prepared to tell you all about them!

I’m reviewing these items together, even though you purchase them separately, because I received them – and tested them – as a pair. Do I think it’s a match made in sexy heaven? Read on to find out…

Temptasia: Affordable Delights

I’ve previously reviewed Temptasia’s jewelled butt plug, which you may recall I was really impressed with. I’m really liking this product line from Blush Novelties – they’re great quality for the price, and everything is body-safe.

Temptasia Harness Briefs

I LOVE these briefs! The material is a soft and stretchy black cotton/spandex blend, which makes them super comfortable against the skin. They also didn’t leave me over hot or unnecessarily sweaty.

They come equipped with a 1.5″ O-ring (slightly stretchy) which can accommodate most harness-compatible dildos or packers. There are also two strategically-placed inner pockets where you can put a vibrating bullet, ideal for giving some clitoral stimulation to the wearer.

Though I’m cis and pretty femme, I really enjoyed the masculine aesthetic of these boxer-style harness briefs. As they’re comfy enough for day to day wear, they’re ideal for trans-masculine folks who want to wear a packer as well as for play purposes. I enjoyed pairing them with my glitteriest, most ridiculously colourful femme dildo, because fucking with gendered norms is my jam.

They’re even machine washable! Just stick them on a gentle 30 degrees cycle and air-dry, and you’re good to go.

A note on sizing:

The Peepshow product listing helpfully contains the waist circumference of each size of briefs. However, as they’re super stretchy, don’t worry if you’re between sizes or a bit over or under.

Mine are a size Medium. My play partner wears a UK 8 and she was able to wear these comfortably, though they were a touch big for her. I’m currently wearing a UK 16 and the Medium was, though wearable, a little on the small side. I’d be more comfortable in a size up. I’m actually seriously considering buying another pair in Large because I love them so much.

Broadly, I’d recommend a Small if you’re a size 6-10, Medium for 12-14, Large for 16-18, and XL for 18-20 (all UK sizes, I don’t know how that translates across the pond!) Sadly, XL is the largest size they go up to.

Jezebel Silicone Dildo

I was given the choice of three dildos with my Temptasia harness briefs, and I chose the Jezebel – in part for the beautiful red colour! It’s a gorgeous bright crimson, and the base is a heart shape. Cuteness galore!

The Jezebel is a 6.1″ long (5.3″ insertable) dildo with a diameter of 1.5″ and a gentle curve, making it ideal for g-spot stimulation. The flared suction-cup base makes it ideal for harness play, for sticking to surfaces for hands free fun, and even for anal play.

The Jezebel is made of 100% smooth, body-safe silicone. Clean with a sterile medical wipe or gentle soap and water, and stick it in a pan of boiling water or in the top rack of the dishwasher to completely sterilise. It’s latex and non-latex condom compatible, and will play best with water-based lube.

How do they play together?

Brilliantly! The positioning of the Jezebel dildo inside the Temptasia harness briefs was perfect for g-spot stimulation (as the receiver) and easy positioning and thrusting (as the giver). These items were clearly designed with use together in mind.

Do I recommend them?

Yes! This is the most comfortable and user-friendly strap on harness I’ve ever tried, and these items pair perfectly together. And at $24 for the briefs and $21 for the dildo, you really can’t go far wrong!

Thank you to Peepshow Toys for sending me these products to review. As ever, all views are my own. If you make a purchase through any of the affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission. Images are by me – do not use them without permission.

[Toy Review] The Red Head by Glas

I love glass toys, I love pretty toys, and I love double-ended toys. So when the folks at The Adult Toy Shop offered me this beauty from their range to try, I eagerly jumped at the chance. If you’ve never tried a glass toy, you really should. They feel like nothing else! Smooth and yet completely unyielding, glass begins cold to the touch but warms up surprisingly quickly with your body’s heat. And you can always run it under some warm (not hot!) water or pop it in the fridge for 20 minutes prior to play for some exciting temperature-based fun.

The |Red Head Glas DildoLet’s meet the Red Head…

Unlike many double ended dildos, I liked that both the ends on this one are the exact same size.

It’s 8.5″ in total length, and 1.5″ in diameter at the widest points of the heads. The shaft is 1″ in diameter.

This toy is really pretty. I always find glass toys very aesthetically pleasing and the red wave pattern on each of the heads gives this one a unique, striking appearance.

Is glass body-safe?

Short answer: yes!

Long answer: A properly made glass dildo is highly, highly unlikely to just break – and I have never heard of one breaking inside someone. Borosilicate glass, the kind that most glass toys are made of, is the same stuff that “Pyrex” and similar cookware is made from. It’s very hardy stuff and can withstand changes in temperature. It might break if you drop it on a hard floor from height, but that’s all you need to worry about.

Glass is non-toxic and non porous – it doesn’t contain any nasty chemicals like phthalates, and as long as you clean it properly it won’t harbour any bacteria or germs.

Glass toys are also latex and non-latex condom compatible, and safe to use with water, silicone or oil based lubes. In short, a great choice!

To clean your  glass toy, wash it in warm water and some gentle soap or soak it in a 10% bleach solution for a few minutes. For a quick clean, a body-safe medical wipe or toy wipe will do the trick.

In use…

Unfortunately, I did not have another pretty vulva-owning person on hand to try this toy with, so I tested it solo. I’m definitely keeping it earmarked for the next time I have someone with a vagina in my bed, though! As it doesn’t have a flared base, the Red Head is not suitable for anal play, but there are anal safe glass toys on the market if that’s your jam.

I’ve sometimes struggled with straight glass toys because, as they’re so rigid, it can be hard to angle them just right and they end up pressing into the wrong spot and hurting. No such issues with this dildo, though. The curved shape and super smooth surface means that, with the help of a little lube, it slid in with no pain or discomfort at all.

The combination of the gentle curve and the bulbous heads made the Red Head dildo immensely satisfying for me. I’m super multi orgasmic when it comes to G-spot stimulation, and… well, let’s just say after about five or six, I stopped bothering to count. The head presses in just the right spot and with a little gentle wiggling, it feels absolutely wonderful.

A quick pro tip from me: if you like G-spot vibration and intense stimulation, insert your glass dildo then press a wand vibrator against the bit that’s outside your body. The glass will transmit the vibrations and they’ll feel really strong.

I have never squirted, but if I was ever going to, I’m pretty sure it would be a curved, very rigid G-spot toy – like this one – that got me there. Hmm. More experimentation is in order! For science, of course.

So do I recommend it?

Yes, this is a wonderful little (or not so little) toy for the price! It’s body-safe, super pretty, it feels delicious, and it’s perfect for both solo and partnered play. A perfect beginner glass toy, or even a good addition to an afficionado’s collection.

The Red Head retails for $28.34 (RRP $34.99) at The Adult Toy Shop.

This unbiased review was sponsored by The Adult Toy Shop, who carry a wide range of very affordable sex toys. This in no way affects my views of the product which are, and will always be, entirely my own.

[Toy Review] The Humdinger from Lovehoney

I’m working on a post at the moment about the best clitoral toys under £30/$4o. I’ve been reaching out to my contacts at the different toy companies I work with and oh boy, have these guys delivered! You’ll have to wait a little longer for the final post (I’m still deliberating over one or two of the entries!) but today I wanted to tell you about one of the products I’ve tested and am really impressed by.

Let’s ignore the silly name for a minute…

My hand holding the Humdinger vibrator(Why do sex toys so often have silly names anyway!?) The Humdinger by Lovehoney is a clitoral vibrator with a cup-shaped tip. The idea is that this tip fully encompasses the clit and surrounds it with vibrations. If you turn it over, there’s also a small, rigid nodule which can be used straight on the clit if you’re after more pinpoint stimulation. Though it’s a clitoral toy primarily, you could use it internally if you were so inclined – the bump might feel nice against your G-spot.

The Humdinger measures 7.6″ in total length, and about an inch in diameter. It is battery powered (you’ll need 2 AA batteries, not included) and fully waterproof. I do wish, as a rule, that companies would send their toys with batteries – but understand this pushes the price up for them, which would be passed on to the consumer. Pro tip from this sex toy lover: always keep a pack or two of AA and AAA batteries in your toy box!

As always, this toy arrived in a discreet parcel. It comes packaged simply in Lovehoney’s signature white box with a picture of the toy and some info about it on the outside. Don’t expect fancy packaging or anything at this price point, but honestly as an eco-conscious girl I’m all for simple packaging that means less we have to throw away or recycle.

Body-safe doesn’t need to mean expensive!

Also feat. a “Death Before Decaf” coaster because I am nothing if not painfully on brand.

The Humdinger retails for £14.99 at full price ($19.99 in the US) which is an absolute steal. It’s also currently on sale at just £1o, so this is a great time to grab a bargain!

This toy is fully body-safe. The material is smooth coated hard plastic, which is non-toxic and non-porous. It’s super easy to clean – a toy wipe or body-safe medical wipe will do a quick clean-up, and it’s submersible so you can wash it thoroughly with warm water and gentle soap. Your Humdinger should be condom compatible, but watch that the little pointy nodule doesn’t tear your condom!

Water-based or silicone-based lubes are fine with hard plastic toys.

The Humdinger vibrator on my desk.In use: a simple interface and nice rumbly vibrations

The Humdinger operates on a simple twist mechanism in the base. I really like twist controls on toys because it means you can control the intensity quite finely, and easily decrease or increase without having to press loads of buttons. The wavy body is ergonomic and comfortable to hold. It’s not the lightest toy,

While the Humdinger is not the strongest toy I’ve tried (including when measured against other toys at a similar price point,) it sports a reasonable level of power. The vibrations are also decently rumbly, so there is none of that horrible surface-level buzz that plagues so many cheaper toys.

It also has – joy of joys – NO PATTERNS! (I hate patterns 99% of the time.) Just solid, rumbly vibrations.

I really like the shape of the Humdinger’s tip. Having vibrations all the way around and over my clit was delicious and more than made up for the fact that I would have liked a tad more power. (Then again, when wouldn’t I like a tad more power?) The unique shape and the sensation of having my clit surrounded by vibrations really made this one for me.

All in all a good little toy for the price

I’m very happy to recommend this product! It’s cheap, body-safe, mid-range on power, and rumbly. An ideal pick for a beginner or anyone looking for quality clit stimulation on a budget.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Humdinger to test and review for you all! Shopping via my affiliate links sends a small commission my way and helps me keep doing this work. If you enjoy my work, please consider becoming a Patron!

[Toy Review] Blush Novelties Exposed Nocturnal Lipstick Bullet Vibrator

It feels a bit sacrilegious to say this, but I think I’ve found a bullet vibrator I like more than the hallowed We-Vibe Tango. And it’s an unassuming little thing from Blush Novelties that retails at the shockingly reasonable price of $32 (about £24 for my Brit readers). Meet the Exposed Nocturnal “lipstick bullet,” sent to me by Peepshow Toys, excellent purveyors of body-safe toys for all budgets.

Details and Dimensions

The Exposed Nocturnal lipstick buillet vibratorThe Exposed Nocturnal bullet is 4″ long in total and has a dimension of 0.9″. It’s shaped, as the advertising copy implies, like a lipstick – a cylindrical body leading to a gently tapered tip with one flat edge. I really like this shape for clitoral vibrators, because it gives you so many options. You can use the tip, the flat edge or the whole shaft, depending on how pinpoint you like your vibrations.

The Exposed Nocturnal is waterproof, submersible, and USB-rechargeable. It comes in four colour-ways, three of which can be described as variations on “pink,” and the fourth (called “Sugar Plum”) is purple. The colours are sort of shimmery in quality, which is really attractive.

Functionality & Interface

The Exposed Nocturnal lipstick bullet vibrator.The Exposed Nocturnal bullet has a simple two-button user interface built into the base (which is also where the magnetic charging points are). You hold down the + button to switch on, use the + and – buttons to navigate the various settings, and hold down the – button to switch off.

This is one of the areas where this toy really comes out ahead of the Tango, as well as most of the lower priced toys on the market – you can cycle either way through the settings! Gone up a notch and decided it’s too intense? No worries, you can skip straight back down again without cycling all the way through.

My only real complaint, and it’s a minor one, is that the buttons and markings on them are so small that it can be hard to see which is which in low light. I would also have liked a travel lock, but you can’t have everything.

Body-Safe and Easy to Clean

The Exposed Nocturnal bullet is made of body-safe ABS plastic, which is non-porous and non-toxic. I really enjoy hard plastic as a toy material, because it’s so firm that it doesn’t dampen down the strength of the vibrations at all.

This toy is also a breeze to clean. Use a body-safe medical wipe, or some gentle soap and warm water – it’s fully submersible! Oil-, silicone- or water-based lubes are all fine with ABS plastic toys.

For extra protection if you’re sharing your toys, pop a condom over it or clean it thoroughly between users.

In Use: Power for Days!

Power is always the crunch point for me, when it comes to whether I like a toy or not. Basically, I want power and lots of it! And ohhhh boy, did the Exposed Nocturnal bullet deliver in this area.

It has 10 settings: five constant speeds and five patterns. Mr CK was stunned when I switched this toy on to show him its power, then said “and that’s the LOWEST setting!” It’s got less pure rumble than the Tango, but no less power. (If the Tango is a 9 on a 1-10 scale of rumbliness, this toy is about a 7.5). Starting out at a low rumble and building up to what I can only describe as a tiny power tool, make no mistake: this baby is extremely powerful. I can come reliably, in only a few minutes, with this toy on the lowest setting – which is practically unheard of for me.

I should mention that it’s a little on the louder side. The volume isn’t unreasonable for the level of power, but it’s not a good choice if you need near-silent. (It does, however, pass the “can Mr CK hear Amy wanking from downstairs when she’s in the bedroom with the door closed?” test. He could not).

In conclusion: the best bullet I’ve ever tried.

And I do not say this lightly! This toy is in-fucking-credible for the price. If you need power but you’re on a limited budget, or if you’re looking for a discreet little vibe to take on your travels with you, look no further.

Let me say it again: This. Toy. Is. $32. Next time anyone tells you that you can’t get a body-safe product without shelling out hundreds, point them to this post.

Thanks to Peepshow for sending me the Blush Novelties Exposed Nocturnal lipstick bullet to review. It will feature next month in a piece on the best body-safe vibrators under $40. Links in this post are affiliate links and if you use them, I will make a small commission. As ever, all opinions my own, and please don’t steal my photos!

[Toy Review] Avant Pride P4 Power Play Silicone Butt Plug

Pride month may now be over, but Blush’s Avant Pride line lives on! Besides, it’s never a bad time of year to plaster your favourite pride flag all over everything, including your sex toys. As well as the Power Play plug, they also make the same plug style in genderqueer and genderfluid pride colours, as well as rainbow, trans pride and lesbian pride dildos.

The Power Play butt plug in white blue black and red, lying on an open diaryThe leather pride flag, designed in 1989, was originally primarily used by the gay leather community. In recent years, however, it has come to represent leather culture – and general BDSM community – more widely. The flag features horizontal lines of black, blue and white, and a small red heart in the upper left. The Avant “Power Play” plug‘s colour scheme is based upon this flag. The effect is striking, with a lovely masculine-of-centre aesthetic that is quite different from anything else in my collection.

Specs ‘n’ Stats…

The Power Play plug is quite large in size. With 4.75 inches in total length (4.25″ insertable) and a 1.5″ diameter at the widest point, it’s not a plug for total beginners to anal play. If you’re brand new, I suggest looking at something like the Temptasia silicone crystal plug in a small or the Tantus Little Flirt to start you off. (Look out for my upcoming post on the best toys for anal play novices, too!)

My hand with the Power Play black white blue and red butt plug

Instead of the more traditional round base, the Power Play plug has a wide, t-bar shaped base. It also has a short and wide neck, which is only a little narrower than the biggest part of the plug and wider than the top.

The Power Play plug retails for $30 (about £23). I stand by my previous statement that I can’t believe the value of this whole range. Never believe anyone who tells you that you can’t have safe and quality toys on a budget!

The body-safe goodness you’ve come to expect

You know that if Peepshow are stocking it, it’s going to be a quality and body-safe product! The Power Play plug is silicone, which is non-porous. (Whyyyyyy do companies make any toys, but especially anal toys for fuck’s sake, out of porous materials)!? It’s also non-toxic. As it has no motor, the best way to clean your plug is to toss it in a pan of boiling water for ten minutes or so.

Many people don’t think of this, but butt plugs are actually an ideal shape to be condom-compatible. You don’t need to use a barrier if you’re not sharing the toy or have sterilised it between uses, but if you’re sharing it with a partner you’re going to want to cover it up. Smaller size condoms are best for most butt plugs. As ever, I only recommend water-based lube with silicone toys, and I’m going to take this opportunity to give a little plug to my favourite anal lube of all time – Sliquid Sassy.

In Use

This toy is on the challenging side for me. I’ve taken toys this size and even a little bigger in the past (as well as having done anal sex with an above-average bio cock,) but it takes some working up to take something this size in my ass.

I used it after warming myself up with a clitoral orgasm (thanks to the trusty love of my life for that!) With plenty of lube, it went in reasonably comfortably. The thing I love the most about this toy is the feel of the material. The silicone is really soft, squishy and malleable, which feels wonderful and is super comfortable in use. I don’t think I’ve ever used a body-safe plug as squishy as this one. If super rigid toys turn you off, the Power Play plug could be a really good choice for you.

I really like the shape of the base. If you spin it the right way around so that the t-bar base sits parallel with your butt crack, it’s super comfortable. One of the most challenging things about plug wear, for me, is the chafing of the edges of a round base against my butt cheeks. No such problem with this one.

Unfortunately, there was one big issue with this plug that I couldn’t seem to solve: it won’t stay in! Whatever position I was in, even when it was inside as far as it could possibly go, the moment I removed my hand it just slipped out. I am inclined to attribute this to the shape of the neck, which is too short and too wide to clench around sufficiently to keep the plug in. The beauty of a more traditionally shaped butt plug neck is that your ass takes in the toy and then effectively closes around the plug’s neck, keeping it inside.

Do I recommend it?

Depends what you’re using it for. If you’re looking for a plug for keeping in, unfortunately I cannot recommend this one. I suggest you look for something with a longer and more pronounced neck for this purpose.

However, if you’re looking for a plug to thrust with, or to use as part of a play session where you won’t need to leave it in (building up to a penis or larger dildo, perhaps) then I can heartily recommend this one for its super soft squishy silicone, excellent price, and cute design.

Thank you to Peepshow for sending me the Avant Pride P4 Power Play Plug to review. If you purchase through my affiliate links, I make a small commission. As ever, I promise to only recommend products I stand behind. All views are and will always be my own. Pictures are by me – do not reproduce them without permission.

[Toy Review] Oh-Moji Emoji Vibrator, Because Why the Fuck Not?

I am trying to grow my income from sex writing, because even though I love it, it takes a lot of time and energy. Please consider becoming a Patron and get access to exciting bonus content (including an  exclusive new piece of erotic fiction every Tuesday!)

Sex, as I have long held, is hilarious. It’s also many other things, of course – hot, sweet, loving, occasionally healing and transformative. But often we get so caught up in the notion of Sex As Serious Business that we forget fucking is meant, first and foremost, to be fun.

So, even though I entirely am here for beautiful toys and plain-but-functional toys and hyper realistic toys, I am also occasionally here for silly, funny and plain ridiculous toys. Enter the Oh-Moji.

Just for fun, I’m using emojis instead of title headers for this piece. Because I can.

😍😘😜

My friends at Lovehoney offered me a sneaky peek at their new toy line ahead of its release, and how could I say no to that? The new line, it turns out, consists of three Emoji-themed mini wand vibrators: heart eyes (the one I have,) blowing a kiss, and tongue-out.

These vibes are silly and cute, and clearly marketed towards younger consumers. I have mixed feelings about this; it does seem to be playing into stereotypes about young people and students. However, if a vibrator with an amusing, irreverent design is what it takes to get a young person to buy their first toy and start exploring their sexuality, I’m good with that.

Each Oh-Moji is a petite 5″ long, with a white-and-yellow handle decorated with the Lovehoney heart logo, and a yellow wand head with one flat side, where the emoji face is printed. They are USB rechargeable, and you get about an hour of continuous use from a two-hour charge. I do wish rechargeable toy batteries would last longer, in general!

The Oh-Moji has 11 settings; 3 constant speeds and 8 patterns. It is operated via a simple one-button interface, which you press to change through the settings. This does mean that if you find one you like and skip past it, you have to go allllll the way back through again.

💦🍆🛀

The Oh-Moji is NOT waterproof, so please don’t let it get wet or try to use it in the bath! Luckily, the silicone head is removable which makes for easy clean-up after use. You can, of course, also do a quick clean with a toy wipe or medical wipe (I buy mine in bulk from a medical supplies site). The Oh-Moji is a little small to use with a condom, though you could if you really needed to – and a dam would work just as well to avoid unwanted fluid exchange if you’re sharing the toy without sterilising it first. As ever with silicone toys, please use a good quality water-based lube.

🙂😀😌

There are several things I like about these product. The design makes me giggle, and I like how small and innocuous they are.

I also, obviously, love that they’re body-safe. So many cheap vibrators and other toys are made of crappy, unsafe jelly/rubber/PVC materials which can be porous or even toxic. No such worries with this one, as the head is pure silicone. People who cannot afford to buy expensive, high-end toys also deserve body safe products and I’m really glad that Lovehoney are trying to cater for a particular corner of the likely-to-be-low-income demographic.

😒😐🙁

So what didn’t work for me with the Oh-Moji?

Primarily, the level of power. I am a self-confessed power queen and a lot of weaker vibrators just aren’t enough for me. Unfortunately, this one fell into that category. I persevered, but it simply wasn’t strong enough to get me off. The vibrations were very buzzy, too, whereas I much prefer rumbly.

I also did not like how flexible the neck is. I like to be able to press a vibe into my vulva when I’m using it, and the bendy neck just makes it impossible to do this without pushing it away.

👍/👎?

Possibly not a bad choice for a first vibrator, especially if you’re looking for something on the gentler side. It’s body-safe and not too expensive (£29.99 at full price, currently on sale for £19.99). However, I do not recommend this product to anyone who likes rumblier vibrations or a higher level of power. Overall, I like them much less than I liked Positive Vibes, Lovehoney’s last cheap, cute-design, body-safe offering.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Oh-Moji in exchange for an honest review. If you purchase from them using my affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission which helps me keep doing this work. Photos are by me and not to be used without permission.