4 Anal Sex Myths You Should Stop Believing

Anal sex is probably one of the most misunderstood sex acts of all. It carries an allure for a lot of people, whether they want to be on the giving end or the receiving end or both. However, it also scares a lot of people. This is, in part, due to incorrect assumptions and beliefs. Anal sex myths can scare people off who might otherwise be interested in trying this type of play. They can also lead people to engage in dangerous behaviours or take unnecessary risks due to a lack of knowledge.

Here at C&K, we’re all about fact-based and non-stigmatising information. So let’s bust some anal sex myths, shall we?

Anal sex always hurts

This is perhaps one of the most harmful anal sex myths, and actually likely leads to more avoidable pain and injuries. After all, if you think anal is supposed to hurt you’ll be more likely to push through pain, which can be dangerous. In fact, though anal can be intense and some mild discomfort can be normal, pain is your body’s way of telling you that something is wrong.

With proper lubrication, warm-up, enthusiastic consent, and communication with your partner, anal sex does not need to be – and should not be – painful. If something hurts it’s time to adjust, add more lube, or stop for now.

And by the way: those “numbing” or “desensitizing” lubes designed for anal sex? Avoid them at all costs. The ingredients in them can be harmful, they increase your risk of injury, and (frankly) if you have to numb your body to engage in a particular sex act, then you probably shouldn’t be doing that thing at all.

Anal sex isn’t pleasurable for the bottom

This particular myth always strikes me as really sad, particularly when I see questions from people who are trying to grit their teeth and force themselves into anal sex they don’t want to please their partner.

Anal sex isn’t pleasurable for everyone and, if you don’t enjoy it, then you shouldn’t do it! However, if you do want to, it can be just as pleasurable for the bottom (the person being penetrated) as for the top (the person doing the penetrating.) Think about it: if anal sex wasn’t pleasurable for the receptive partner, why would anal sex toys such as butt plugs and prostate massagers be so popular?

One of the reasons that anal sex can feel so pleasurable for cis men and other people assigned male at birth is due to the prostate. Approximately the size and shape of a walnut, this gland is located just below the bladder and in front of the rectum. It is responsible for producing some of the fluid in semen and, when stimulated, it is incredibly sensitive.

However, anal sex isn’t all about the prostate, and can be just as pleasurable for receptive partners who do not have one. There are still tonnes of highly sensitive nerve endings in and around the butt, which can feel incredible. And, of course, it is located close to the genitals. According to a 2022 study on (cis) women’s experiences of anal pleasure: “[the anus] contains a dense network of sensory nerves that participate with the genitals in the engorgement, muscular tension and contractions of sexual arousal and orgasm.”

Yes, it’s even possible for some people to have an orgasm from anal sex without any direct stimulation of the genitals! Aren’t bodies awesome?

Anal sex is only for gay men (or: all gay men have anal sex)

Wrong on both counts! Many of the most common anal sex myths centre on sexual orientation, from who engages in it to what it means about your sexuality if you do.

Firstly, anal sex is for anyone who wants to have it. We all have a butt, after all! Liking or not liking anal sex doesn’t imply a single thing about your sexuality. Your sexual orientation is about who you’re attracted to, not which acts you want to do.

Also, not all men who have sex with men (MSM) have anal sex. One 2011 survey of almost 25,000 gay and bisexual men in the US found that only 35% of respondents had had anal sex during their last sexual encounter. Some queer men do it regularly, some do it occasionally, and some never do it at all. All of this is completely normal and awesome.

You can’t get pregnant, so anal sex is safe sex

It’s true, of course, that a person cannot become pregnant from anal sex. This doesn’t mean, though, that anal is a risk-free form of sex.

In fact, when it comes to the transmission of STIs, unprotected anal sex is actually riskier than most other kinds of sexual activity including unprotected vaginal sex. However, it’s easy to mitigate this risk with a few basic precautions.

The best way to protect yourself and your partner(s) is to use a condom every time you have anal sex. If you choose to go barrier-free for anal – which I only recommend in the context of an ongoing relationship with someone you trust – make sure that both you and your partner(s) are having regular sexual health screenings.

You might also want to ask your healthcare provider if pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, is suitable for you. PrEP is a daily medication for people at risk of exposure to HIV, whether through sex or through drug use. According to the CDC, it reduces the risk of contracting HIV through sex by about 99% when used as directed.

Have questions about anal sex? Not sure if something you’ve heard is accurate? Let me know and I’ll try to answer them in a future post.

FYI: this post was sponsored. All writing and views are, as always, entirely my own.

[Toy Review] Honey Play Box Oly

I’ve written for Honey Play Box a few times before, but it’s been a while! So when they reached out to ask me to review for them once again, I was intrigued to see what’s been added to the range since we last met. I received the “Oly” vibrator to try out.

Honey Play Box “Oly” Vibrator

Honey Play Box Oly app-controlled vibrator

Upon first glance at the Honey Play Box Oly vibrator, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was a butt plug. It certainly looks like one! However, it’s actually a two-in-one clitoral and G-spot vibrator that comes with added app-control functionality.

The Oly measures 4.4″ in total length, of which just over 3″ is insertable, and 1.6″ in diameter at the widest point. It is IPX7 waterproof (i.e. submersible) and USB rechargeable via the included magnetic cable. Made of high quality silicone, it’s available in two colours, pink or turquoise.

Firstly, What Did I Like About the Oly?

There are quite a few things about this product that I like!

Honey Play Box Oly remote control vibrator

  • The silicone is soft and smooth to the touch, and the turquoise colour is lovely.
  • The vibrations, particularly in the clitoral stimulator, are pretty powerful! I’m not sure if the motor in this part is actually more powerful, or if it’s just less dampened because the silicone here is thinner. Either way, stronger external vibrations and weaker internal ones is the correct combination for me.
  • That curve! The internal portion of the Oly is the perfect length and shape for targeted G-spot pressure, at least on my body.
  • The two raised ridges on the top side of the clitoral stimulator. They’re ideally positioned and awesome for sort of grinding against.
  • The flexibility of the neck makes insertion comfortable and positioning easy.
  • The curve of the base sits comfortably flush against the curve of my vulva.
  • It’s not silent, but it’s not particularly loud either so it’s relatively discreet.
  • Despite me saying “It’s not a butt plug”, you actually could totally use it as one. The flared base makes it anal-safe and the curve is likely to work particularly well for you if you have a prostate and enjoy having it stimulated.
  • A pretty and practical green and gold storage bag is included.
  • The Oly retails for a bargain $65, which is at the very affordable end of the app-controlled sex toy market.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There were, however, also a few things about the Oly that didn’t work so well for me.

Honey Play Box Oly app-controlled sex toy

  • Though powerful, it’s also pretty buzzy. This results in my clit going numb and feeling overstimulated but without any significant pleasure after a few minutes.
  • It doesn’t stay in place all that well. I have to use my hands to hold it if I want to keep the internal part inside and the external part against my clit at the same time.
  • The distance between the internal part and the clitoral stimulator won’t work for all bodies. It just about fits on mine, but if you have a larger distance between your vaginal opening and your clitoris then it just won’t fit right.
  • I don’t love that it’s a one-button interface (super annoying when there’s 9 settings to scroll through) or that you can’t control the two motors separately.

How is the App Functionality?

One of the Honey Play Box Oly’s big selling points is its app functionality. App-controlled sex toys are all the rage in this era of smartphones, sexting, and long-distance relationships, for obvious reasons. They allow you to connect with a partner and have sex, via a toy, from anywhere in the world as long as you have Bluetooth and an internet connection.

The HoneyPlayBox app is available free on both Android and iOS. You’ll need to set up an account with your email address and then choose a username. (You’ll also have to select if you’re a “girl” or a “boy”, which is entirely unnecessary as well as annoyingly binary.)

This is where the problems began, though. No matter what I tried, the app simply would not connect to my toy. I reconfigured the permissions, restarted the app, restarted my entire phone, turned various things on and off and on again, and… nothing.

It looks like the app has some fun and interesting options. It’s just a shame I couldn’t try any of them because it will not connect no matter what I do. In theory, once you’re in, you can control the toy from your phone or give control to your partner from anywhere.

Update! Got a New Oly

When I told HoneyPlayBox about my issues with the Oly and the app, they kindly sent me a new toy as it seems the first one was faulty for some reason. This new one connected to the app instantly, so I was able to actually try the features.

On the main screen, there are two wheels that allow you to control the toy’s two motors and switch between settings with a swipe of your finger. The responsiveness is excellent and it’s nice to have an easy way to control the two motors independently.

Tapping the rocket button on the left gives you “enhanced mode”, which is just more powerful vibrations, while the pause button on the right allows you to momentarily switch off the vibrations without losing your chosen settings.

“Free touch” allows you to create your own vibration patterns for each motor, changing them as you go along by swiping the bee icons up or down. “Music mode” makes the toy vibe along with either ambient noise or audio files on your phone. And “remote play” allows you to connect with a partner from a distance and hand control to them.

Overall I’m impressed with the HoneyPlayBox app – it has a good array of features, and excellent reliability and responsiveness.

Let’s Talk About “Blended Orgasm, Guaranteed”

Honey Play Box Oly dual stimulation vibrator

First, I’m once again begging toy companies to stop making orgasm guarantees. There is literally no such thing. People are different, bodies are different, and there is not a single thing in the entire world that “guarantees” an orgasm to everyone who uses it.

Case in point: the Oly did not give me an orgasm.

I will also admit I’m quite cynical about the concept of the “blended orgasm.” This relies on the notion that there are two distinct types of orgasm for people with vulvas: clitoral and G-spot. This is true for some people. It’s also not true for huge numbers of people (including, you know, the 70-90% of us who only orgasm with clitoral stimulation.) We have got to stop holding the “vaginal orgasm” (and by extension, the “blended orgasm”) up on a pedestal. If clitoral stimulation gets you there, amazing. If penetration gets you there, also amazing. And if you love the combination of both, have at it. But I’m kinda done with the notion that there’s a special and better type of orgasm that only comes from the latter.

So while the Oly feels quite good and I can see myself using it in a limited set of circumstances, it didn’t get me off and I think it’s highly unlikely that it would. So no, as always, that “orgasm guarantee” is nothing but marketing fluff.


HoneyPlayBox has taken this feedback on board and removed that messaging from the marketing copy. Good work.



There are a lot of good points to the Oly, and most of its downsides are annoying rather than egregious (particularly considering the affordable price point.)

You can use code KINK15 to get 15% off almost all products at Honey Play Box.

Thanks to Honey Play Box for sponsoring this review. I was paid to write this piece but all experiences and views are my own.

[Toy Review] We-Vibe Ditto+ App Controlled Butt Plug

We-Vibe has been one of the biggest players in the app-controlled sex toys space for a long time now, and for good reason. From their early days of pioneering wearable clitoral vibrators to the extensive product range they have today, We-Vibe has consistently produced quality toys that live up to their high price tag.

I recently received the We-Vibe Ditto+ from Lovehoney. I’ll be candid and say I don’t use anal toys all that often and when I do, I tend to be very choosy. So let’s see how this one measured up.

We-Vibe Ditto+ Details

We-Vibe Ditto+ vibrating butt plug

The We-Vibe Ditto+ is a vibrating butt plug measuring 3.5″ in total length, 3″ in insertable length, and a petite 1.2″ in diameter at the widest point. It is rechargeable via the included USB cable, with a single charge giving you around 120 minutes of runtime. It’s also fully waterproof and submersible, and comes with a cotton storage bag.

The We-Vibe Ditto+ is made of lovely, body-safe matte silicone and is available in two colourways: pink or black. I received the pink, which has a gorgeous subtle shimmer when it catches the light. I don’t love that it has a visible seam all the way around and little spot marks, presumably from the molding process. They’re small aesthetic details but when you’re paying over £100 for a toy, those things do matter.

How Does It Feel? Insertion and Comfort

I appreciate the We-Vibe Ditto+’s small size. On the relatively rare occasions that I use anal toys, I tend to opt for smaller ones. Large anal insertables just aren’t really my thing. That said, if you prefer a larger toy, this one probably isn’t for you.

We-Vibe Ditto+ vibrating anal plug

Like all anal toys, the Ditto+ is suitable for folks of all genders and genital configurations. However, it’s not large enough to reach the prostate on most people who have one, so look elsewhere if you’re looking for a prostate stimulator. (Might I recommend the Aneros range?)

If you have a vagina, the shape of the Ditto+ is ideal for wearing during penetrative sex. Just remember to angle the flat side of the Ditto+ towards the front of your body for comfort. Your partner will feel the vibrations when they’re inside you. Vaginal/anal double penetration isn’t really my jam but, if I was going to do it, the Ditto+ is an ideal plug for the purpose.

I really like the base design of the Ditto+, too. As you may know, it’s vital for anal toys to have a flared base. This is because, without one, there’s a risk of them getting sucked up into your butt and getting stuck. (Cue an embarrassing trip to A&E or, at worst, a real medical emergency.)

We-Vibe Ditto+ app controlled butt plug base and buttons

However, many anal toys have rounded bases that can be super uncomfortable to wear after a while. The Ditto+’s L-shaped base sits flush with the curve of the butt cheeks comfortably and without digging in.

Don’t forget that adequate lubrication is absolutely essential for safe and pleasurable anal play.

How Does It Feel? Vibrations, Controls, and Sound

The We-Vibe Ditto+ has ten vibration modes: 4 steady speeds and 6 patterns. The toy itself has only a one-button interface, but the remote control makes it easy to switch between settings and to turn the intensity up or down.

The button on the base of the toy is a little too firm and difficult to press. However, you’re unlikely to use it all that much. Once the toy is inside you, it’s just too awkwardly placed and you’re much better off using the remote control. The remote has a simple interface, easy to press buttons, and great responsiveness. Be aware that the remote isn’t waterproof, though.

Like most We-Vibe toys, this one has an excellent motor. It’s strong and rumbly, and ideally situated within the toy to transmit the most vibrations to the right spots. When I use vibrating clitoral vibrators, I tend to turn them straight to the highest setting and leave them there. It’s different with butt toys, though, where I tend to prefer slightly gentler stimulation. The top setting on the Ditto+ is actually a bit too much for me! Butts are sensitive and easily overstimulated, as it turns out. (At least mine is.)

Sometimes it feels as though every sex toy ever to exist claims to be “whisper quiet.” This is usually laughably and demonstrably untrue (with the companies that proclaim it the most often producing the most obnoxiously loud, rattly, whiny toys!) However, We-Vibe toys are consistently impressively quiet, especially when you balance their level of power against their level of volume.

The Ditto+ is no exception. Even at the highest setting its noise is no more than a quiet buzz. It’s totally discreet for use anywhere with a reasonable level of ambient noise. (So if going out with a plug in is your thing, have at it!)

App Functionality

The brand new We-Vibe app has been totally redesigned and rebuilt from scratch. It’s free to download from the Android or iOS app stores. You don’t even need to create an account to start playing, so you can dive in straight away.

The app walks you through connecting your toy, which is done through Bluetooth and takes about 20 seconds. You can then select “Play” to control your toy from close range, or “Long Distance Play” to connect with a partner anywhere in the world.

The “Single Vibe” mode allows you to select a setting and then change the intensity with the swipe of a finger. The “Multi Vibe” mode is particularly cool and allows you to select four different modes, which appear in the four quadrants of your screen. You can then change mode and adjust the intensity with the swipe of a finger.

You can also create a playlist or use “Beat Mode” to vibe along to music, or select “Ambient Mode” to have your toy respond to the ambient noise of your surroundings. (This could be fun in a loud environment such as a club or party.)

Overall, an impressive array of options that make for a surprisingly versatile toy!

The one option I found completely useless was the “Touch Mode.” Supposedly this allows you to translate touches of the screen into a vibration pattern but no matter how (or how fast or slow) I moved my finger across the screen, the intensity and pattern of the vibrations was the same. It’s a cool idea but utterly non-functional in its current form.

The We-Vibe’s app connectivity is steady, reliable, and highly responsive as long as you’ve got a decent internet connection. We-Vibe has typically been ahead of the curve in this area generally, but the new and improved app really is a step up.

The We-Vibe app does not allow screenshots due to its security policy. This was super annoying for the purposes of completing this review, but does make sense from a safety perspective!


The We-Vibe Ditto+ retails for £109.99 in the UK and $129 in the US. If you just want a basic vibrating silicone plug, you can get something much cheaper and enjoy much the same effect (though, admittedly, the vibrations won’t be as strong or rumbly.) But if you’re going to make the most of the extensive app functionality, the We-Vibe Ditto+ is a good investment.

Good design, great vibrations, actually useable app. Excellent all around.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All views and experiences are, of course. mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

6 Things Not to Do If You Want to Have Anal Sex Successfully

I think I’ve said before that I have a complicated relationship with anal sex. I was pressured to engage in it at a young age, long before I was ready. As a result, I pretty much shut it down and made it a hard limit in subsequent relationships. I did eventually explore it again, and even discovered that I quite liked it!

Nowadays, anal is only an occasional part of my sex life. I have to be really in the mood, and my body and brain have to be cooperating at the same time. But when the stars align enough for me to want to do it, I typically really enjoy it. Apart from the obvious and huge factor of being with safe and respectful partners, there are a few things I’ve learned along the way that have improved my relationship with anal sex enormously.

I recently learned that “Anal August” is apparently a thing. So in recognition of that, here are six things to be aware of – and six mistakes not to make – if you want to have anal sex of any kind successfully. (Note: my definition of “successful” anal sex is anything that is consensual, pleasurable, and safe for all parties involved. Beyond that, you do you. We don’t do prescriptive around here.)

Don’t Skimp on the Lube

We all know that we need to use tonnes and tonnes of lube to have anal sex successfully, right? Well, you probably need even more lube than you think. No, add a bit more. No, more than that. Okay, now you’re good. If things don’t feel slippery wet, you’re probably not using enough. If anything is hurting, catching, or you can feel a lot of friction, you’re definitely not using enough.

It’s also a good idea to keep adding lube regularly, particularly if you’re using water-based as it will dry up after a while. I like silicone lube for anal sex because it’s so slippery and lasts ages (but remember it’s not a good idea to use silicone lube with silicone toys.)

A bonus tip: please never, ever use “numbing” or “desensitising” lube. Pain is your body’s way of letting you know that something is wrong. If you can’t feel it, you may not notice if you’re being harmed until it’s too late. Plus, anal sex is supposed to be pleasurable! If you’re numbing your body to get through it, please consider whether it’s something you are even truly desiring or consenting to. Seriously, these products should not exist and can get in the fucking bin.

Don’t Rush

Apart from lube, the number one key to enjoying anal play is to go slowly. This means not rushing into it before or unless you’re ready. It also means exploring one step at a time, with no pressure.

You probably won’t get an entire penis or dildo in your butt the first time you try anal sex. That’s totally normal. Even if you only get the tip of one finger inside, that’s a success as long as you had a good time. I say this all the time with kink, but it’s true for any kind of sex: it is always better to end a session thinking “I’d like to do more next time” than to end it thinking “fuck, I went too far.”

Don’t forget about exploring externally, too. Anal play isn’t all about penetration! There’s a reason rimming (oral sex performed on the anus) is so popular. That entire area is really sensitive and having it stroked, licked, or teased can feel really good. Even just running a lubed-up finger across the anal opening can provide an intensely erotic sensation.

Don’t Restrict Yourself to Hands and Dicks

Anal sex toys are often erroneously categorised as “for men.” This is problematic in a couple of ways. First, “sex toys for men” is usually used synonymously with “for people with dicks.” And by now we all know that not everyone with a penis is a man, don’t we? Aside from this, everyone has a butt! Some anal toys are designed specifically to stimulate the prostate. And it’s true that if you were assigned female at birth, you don’t have a prostate. However, no matter what type of genitals you have, the butt is packed with nerve endings and sensitive spots that feel really good when stimulated.

What I’m really saying is: get yourself some butt toys! They can be a great way to start out, explore anal play solo, or expand your repertoire with a partner.

If you’ve never done anal play before, start with a mini butt plug (I like Godemiche’s Plug B in small) and work your way up. After that, you can try a larger plug or a small slimline dildo. I like the Godemiche Peg for a beginner anal dildo or just as a great option for those who prefer smaller and slimmer toys. And if you’d like to fuck your partner anally but don’t have (or don’t want to use) a bio-cock, a good strap-on harness should be on your shopping list.

Don’t forget vibrating toys, too! Kiiroo’s Lumen (currently 30% off for Anal August) and B-Vibe’s rimming plugs are great choices.

Don’t Put Pressure on Yourself or Your Partner

Pressure, whether self-imposed or placed upon you by someone else, is one of the ultimate libido killers. It also erodes consent, since a person who is being pressured may not feel able to say yes or no to an activity freely.

If you’d like to have anal sex with your partner, raise it and see how they feel about it. They may say no, in which case you need to respect that. You might decide to explore on your own to scratch that itch, using anal toys such as butt plugs, dildos, or butt strokers. They might be enthusiastic and all for it. Or they might be open to it but nervous or hesitant. Wherever they are, meet them there with love and acceptance.

Treat yourself in the same way. You don’t need to feel any pressure to have anal sex for any reason. Some people feel pressured because a partner really wants to try anal, because they worry they will be seen as prudish or uptight if they don’t, or because they think it is a “standard” part of their sexual orientation (fun fact: according to a 2011 survey of men who have sex with men, less than 40% reported engaging in anal sex with their last sexual partner. Many never do it at all.)

For any kind of sexual exploration, a safe and pressure-free environment is vital as a base from which to explore.

Don’t Forget Sexual Health

Like all kinds of sex, anal sex carries a risk of passing on a sexually transmitted infection (STI.) Current data also indicates that it is a higher risk activity than vaginal, oral, toy, or hand sex. The best ways to keep yourself and your partner safe are to get tested regularly, negotiate your safer sex boundaries clearly, and use a condom for penetrative anal sex.

Don’t forget that rimming, like any other forms of oral sex, can carry an STI risk. Depending on your safer sex boundaries, you may wish to use a dam (or cut up condom) for rimming.

Hand sex is low risk for STI transmission, but it is still possible. Being diligent with hand washing, and using gloves if you like, can lower the risk further (and using gloves is essential if you have any open cuts on your hands.)

Anal sex with hands can also facilitate a transfer of bacteria even if you are both/all STI-negative. If you’re switching between anal and genital stimulation with hands, change gloves or wash your hands in between. Even a freshly washed butt can transmit bacteria that can cause urinary tract infections and other complications, particularly for people with vaginas.

For the same reasons, never go from anal to vaginal penetration with the same penis or dildo without having a thorough wash or sterilising the toy in between.

Don’t Stress If It’s Not For You

Like anything else, anal sex isn’t for everyone. You might reflect and decide that you have no interest in trying it, now or possibly ever. That’s cool! You might try it and realise you don’t like it. That’s fine, too! You’ve learned valuable information about yourself!

What do you wish you’d known before you tried to have anal sex?

This post contains affiliate links.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #17: Anal Beads

Welcome back again, lovely readers, to my day by day review of Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 Sex Toy Advent Calendar. If you’re just joining us now, have a read of the full series here. And if you decide to buy one (or anything else from Lovehoney) using the affiliate links in this post helps to support my work at no cost to you.

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 17: Anal Beads

Silicone anal beads

Product Info

  • Material: Silicone
  • Colour: Black
  • Body safe? Yes, silicone is non-porous and non-toxic, making it fully body-safe
  • Waterproof: Yes
  • Size: 6″ total length, insertable length 5″, widest bead 1.2″ in diameter
  • Lube-compatible: Yes, water-based only
  • Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, antibacterial soap and water, a 10% bleach solution, boiling, or dishwasher



  • Quite long – may feel intimidating to beginners


A lovely set of anal beads. They score top marks for body-safe materials, flexible shaft with firm beads, and the ability to turn them into a vibrating toy by adding the bullet vibe from this kit (or any other bullet in your collection.)

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #9: Crystal Butt Plug

Hello again! Happy Monday and happy Halloween! I’m currently working my way, day by day, through Lovehoney and Womanizer’s Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022. Check out the full series here and if you decide to buy one (or anything else from Lovehoney), using the affiliate links in this post really helps out me and the blog.

It’s Day 6. Let’s go!

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 9: Crystal Butt Plug

Crystal butt plug by Lovehoney

Product Info

  • Material: Aluminium and acrylic
  • Colour: Gold with a purple jewel
  • Body safe? Yes, aluminium is a body-safe metal for sex toys as long as you are not allergic/sensitive to this metal
  • Waterproof: Yes
  • Size: 3″ total length, 2.5″ insertable length, 1.1″ diameter at widest point
  • Lube-compatible: Yes, any kind of lube
  • Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, antibacterial soap and water, or a 10% bleach solution. Do not boil or put in the dishwasher as this may cause the glue holding the gem in place to melt


  • Super pretty and with a purple gem – my favourite colour!
  • Small, non-threatening size makes it friendly for beginners
  • Rigid material means you get a lot of sensation from a small toy
  • Can be warmed up or cooled down for versatile, temperature-based play


  • Rigid base can dig in after a while, making it uncomfortable (and unlikely to be suitable for all-day wear)
  • There was already a little damage on the gem when I unboxed it, cheapening the overall look


A cute, beginner-friendly crystal butt plug ideal for anyone curious about using metal toys for the first time. Its body-safe material and flared base mean you can enjoy it with confidence. Pro tip: if anal play feels really intense, coupling it with stimulation of your clitoris or penis can massively enhance the pleasure.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

[Toy Review] Hot Octopuss PleX with Flex

Do you all remember the Kurve vibrator from Hot Octopuss? I raved about the Kurve because of its dual “treble and bass” motors, which allow the user to customise not just the intensity level of the vibrations, but also where they fall on the buzz-rumble scale. Well, a new Hot Octopuss toy has arrived, and it uses the same tech. But this time, it’s for your butt. Meet the PleX with Flex.

What is PleX with Flex?

The PleX with Flex is a vibrating butt plug by Hot Octopuss. It measures 5.5″ in total length, of which around 5″ are insertable, and 1.7″ in diameter at the widest point. The plug sits on a wide base. As the name suggests, it’s ultra flexible, bending up to 90 degrees in any direction.

My PleX with Flex arrived packaged in Hot Octopuss’s signature, sleek black packaging with a picture of the toy on the front. In the box you’ll find your plug, a little square remote control, a branded storage pouch, a charging cable, and an instruction leaflet. I do appreciate that Hot Octopuss always include a storage bag with their toys. It’s such a small thing but it really does help a more expensive product feel like value for money.

PleX with Flex vibrating butt plug in its box

The PleX with Flex is made of smooth and body-safe matte black silicone. It is also fully waterproof, though the remote control is not. It’s rechargeable via the included USB cable.

What I Liked

By far my favourite thing about the PleX with Flex is its shape. The smooth, tapered shape makes insertion comfortable, and the ultra flexible nature of it means you can position the toy exactly how you want. I don’t have a prostate but for people who do, I’m informed that the curved shape of the PleX with Flex makes it ideal for targeted prostate pleasure.

PleX with Flex black silicone butt plug from Hot Octopuss

The PleX with Flex’s motors are also fantastic. It houses a rumbly (“bass”) motor towards the bottom of the shaft, and a buzzy (“treble”) motor towards the tip. With independent controls (we’ll talk more about the and five available pattern settings for each motor, you can create an enormous range of different experiences and sensations. Best of all, each motor is powerful. I’m not a big fan of buzz, so I eventually found that the sweet spot for me was to have the buzzy motor on low and the rumbly motor on a higher setting.

PleX with Flex vibrating prostate massager

The large base, which essentially functions as a handle, also makes it possible to thrust with this toy, if you want to. That’s unusual in a butt plug style toy. For that reason, I’d recommend this one if you’re working up to anal penetration with a penis or a larger dildo.

The PleX with Flex also isn’t too loud relative to its vibration strength. Even outside the body it’s pretty quiet, and when it’s inserted the sound is muffled still further. You might not want to use it out in public, but there’s no way you’ll wake the neighbours!

The PleX with Flex is also easy to keep clean. I recommend using a body-safe sterilising wipe then wash it thoroughly in warm water and gentle soap.

Anything I Didn’t Love?

The PleX with Flex is fundamentally a well designed toy. Its shape is dreamy and its motors are excellent. With that said, there are a few things I think could be improved.

My biggest complaint lies in the buttons and controls. Placing the controls on the bottom of the toy’s base is an odd choice for this one. This makes it impossible to see the buttons when the toy is inserted. So you have to either rely on touch alone (possible but not ideal), ask your partner to change the setting for you if you’re using the toy together, or take it out to change the setting and then reinsert. None of which is ideal.

PleX with Flex silicone prostate massager buttons

I could forgive this if the remote control was brilliantly designed, but it’s… not. Hot Octopuss’s remote controls are inexplicably tiny. I think they’re going for discretion but, unless you’re going to use the toy in public (which, as I’ve said, I don’t recommend) I’d rather have a slightly bigger control that’s easier to use. Being so small, it’s difficult to hold and easy to lose. I much, much prefer the wrist strap design offered with toys like the Pulse Solo Lux.

Remote for remote control vibrating butt plug PleX with Flex

The battery life is also a bit of an issue. It lasts about an hour on a full charge. But with a charging time of 4 hours, I would have liked its run time to be a little longer.

From a personal experience perspective, another downside is that the PleX with Flex is slightly too big. It took me a long-ass (ha) time to write up this review, partly because my butt is rarely up for taking something of this size. This is less an objective criticism, admittedly, than a personal preference. I’d really love to see them release a mini version alongside this one, for those of us who prefer a smaller anal toy. So if any Hot Octopuss designers are reading…

The PleX with Flex isn’t really a leave-in toy. Given the size of the base and the location of the buttons, sitting or walking around all day with it in isn’t really possible. This isn’t really a downside as such, just something to be aware of. This is a toy


It’s a mixed bag for me with this one. Ultimately, the PleX with Flex is a toy that meets specific needs well. If you’re looking for a butt toy with strong motors and an ability to experiment with buzz/rumble as well as power level and patterns, this is the one for you. I also recommend it if you’re looking for a vibrating anal toy you can thrust with. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something more akin to an “insert and leave in” anal toy, this is not it.

Retailing at £89.95, it’s not a cheap toy. While its body-safe materials, well-designed shape, and powerful motors work in its favour, there are notable downsides that make it hard to give an unqualified YES to this one.

PleX with Flex banner from Hot Octopuss sex toys

The PleX with Flex is available from Hot Octopuss, who sent me the product in exchange for an honest review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #15: Silicone Anal Beads

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

Here we are in the third week of the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar. Don’t forget to check out the rest of the series! There have been a few hits, a few misses, and a few in-betweens so far.

Let’s see what we’re starting week 3 with…

Door #15: Silicone Anal Beads

Black silicone anal beads

Behind Door #15, we have a set of silicone anal beads.

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes. Silicone is hygienic (essential for anal toys in particular), non-toxic, and non-porous.
  • Power: No inbuilt power but it pairs with a bullet vibrator (see more further down).
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 6″ in total length, 5″ insertable. Beads range in diameter from 0.9″ to 1.2″.
  • Lube compatible: Water-based or oil-based lubes will work.
  • Cleaning: Sterilise with a 10% bleach solution or by boiling.
Woman holding black silicone anal beads

I’m impressed with today’s offering. These anal beads are made of soft and silky matte silicone and are well-designed to make for easy and comfortable insertion, even for complete beginners. Remember to always use tonnes of lube for anal play and if anything hurts, stop immediately. Anal can feel intense, but it is not supposed to hurt.

You can use these beads on their own, or pair them with the bullet vibrator behind Door #1 (or any small bullet in your collection – it pairs particularly well with the We-Vibe Tango!) The silicone transmits vibrations well along the length of the beads and into the tip, even on lower settings.

Blush Nocturnal bullet vibrator and silicone vibrating anal beads
Feat. the Blush Nocturnal bullet vibe

Anal beads are versatile. They can form the main event of a play session, or you can wear them during sex or masturbation for added stimulation. Some people swear by pulling them out at the point of climax, claiming that this increases orgasmic contractions and increases pleasure. Your mileage may vary but if that sounds fun to you, why not give it a go?

The Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar retails for £120. Get 10% off by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout (valid on any Lovehoney order). These calendars tend to sell out, so grab yours early if you want one!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #10: Jewelled Butt Plug

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

Here we are, already 10 days into my adventure through Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar. I’m opening the doors one by one and reviewing each product inside. We’ve had vibes, kink products, butt toys, and more. What’s coming up today?

Door #10: Jewelled Butt Plug

Description of jewelled butt plug in Lovehoney sex toy advent calendar

Today’s door contains the second anal toy in this collection so far: a metal jewelled butt plug.

  • Material: “Metal” (unspecified, likely an alloy of some description.)
  • Colour: Gold body with a red gem base.
  • Body safe? Likely yes. Metal toys are non-porous and broadly non-toxic. Many metal alloy toys contain nickel, though, so avoid it if you’re allergic or sensitive.
  • Power: N/A
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 3″ in total length, 1.1″ in diameter at widest point.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, water-based, oil-based, or silicone-based lubes are all fine.
  • Cleaning: A body-safe medical wipe or a 10% bleach solution. I wouldn’t boil it as this might damage the glue holding the gem in place.
Jewelled butt plug gem base

This plug is surprisingly light for a metal piece, so don’t go in expecting the heft and weight of a stainless steel toy. Its classic butt plug shape with tapered tip makes it easy to insert and comfortable to wear, while the narrow neck and broad base hold it safely and securely in place. You might find that the base digs into your butt cheeks after a while, so this probably isn’t a plug for all-day wear.

The bright red gem in the base is super pretty if you (like me) enjoy sparkly things. The red and gold colour scheme matches the rest of the set’s aesthetic and is pleasingly seasonal.

Hot (or cold) tip: experiment with temperature by popping your plug in the fridge for a few minutes or running it under warm water before use. Just remember that for anal play, tonnes of lube is essential.

A cute and playful plug for beginners to anal play or anyone who enjoys smaller yet rigid butt toys.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar is on sale now and comes with £370+ worth of products for a bargain £120. You can also get another 10% off any order at Lovehoney with my code “coffkink10”.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #5: Slimline Silicone Butt Plug

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

We’re already on day five of my quest to review Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar day by day! There have been a couple of hits and a couple of misses so far, so it’s a mixed bag. Despite the annoyingly gendered marketing, many of the items in this set are suitable for folks of any gender and with any body parts.

Let’s open up Door #5, shall we?

Door #5: Slimline Silicone Butt Plug

Today’s surprise is a slimline silicone butt plug. Let’s start with some quick basic details:

  • Material: Silicone.
  • Colour: Black.
  • Body safe? Yes – silicone is body-safe and non-porous. This also means it’s safe to share this plug with a partner as long as you sterilise it properly between uses.
  • Power: N/A
  • Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
  • Size: 4.5″ in total length, 1.3″ in diameter at widest point.
  • Lube compatible: Yes, water-based and oil-based.
  • Cleaning: Boiling or a 10% bleach solution.

The gently tapered design and slim neck make this plug easy to insert and comfortable to wear, and the silicone is soft and high quality. It is middling-firm to the touch, with some flex towards the tip and plenty of flex in the neck.

The cool thing about this butt plug is that it features a sling style base, allowing you to use it in conjuction with the bullet vibrator from day 1. You’ll need to push quite firmly to get the vibe into the sleeve, but once it’s in it stays put securely. It will also pair with any slim bullet vibe you have in your collection.

Black silicone butt plug with red bullet vibrator

The silicone transmits vibrations very effectively on all settings, allowing you to experiment with a range of anal play sensations. Whether you use the plug on its own or with the vibe, don’t forget to use tonnes of lube. I recommend a thick water-based lube designed for anal play, such as Sliquid Sassy.

Lovehoney bullet vibrator and black silicone vibrating butt plug

This is a great butt plug for beginners or toybag staple for more experienced folks. Use it by itself for anal exploration, or leave it in while you do other things such as hand sex, oral sex, or penetrative play.

Yes, Door #5 is a winner!

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120 at Lovehoney. Get 10% off this or any purchase on the site by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout. These calendars are limited edition, so don’t wait to get yours.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!