8 of the Best Travel-Friendly Vibrators to Pack for Your Next Vacation

Who doesn’t love getting away from it all for a much-needed vacation? If you’re travelling with a partner, you might be one of the many couples that enjoys more and better sex when you’re away from home. Vacations take you away from the stresses of daily life, give you more free time, and help you to get into a more relaxed frame of mind, while allowing you to connect with your partner over a shared adventure—all key ingredients for great sex. Whether you’re travelling alone or with a lover, these travel-friendly vibrators available at ShopErotic will add a little extra sizzle to your next trip.

Travelling with sex toys is easy as long as you’re sensible (don’t try to take that giant stainless steel dildo through airport security!) Pack them in your checked or carry-on bag, engage the travel lock if your toy has one, and make sure it’s clean in case your bag gets checked. And remember: yours isn’t even the first vibrator airline staff have seen today. Unless it looks like a weapon, they don’t care.

I’ve partnered with ShopErotic adult store to bring you a rundown of 8 travel-friendly vibrators you should know about.

We-Vibe Tango X: The Ultimate Bullet

The original We-Vibe Tango wowed power lovers everywhere, and the rereleased and improved Tango X upped the ante even more. This petite powerhouse is one of the strongest and rumbliest bullet vibrators on the market, and its small size makes it ideal for throwing in your travel bag.

Before we decided it made more sense to keep a set of toys at each of our houses, this was one of the vibrators I’d often pack to visit my long distance girlfriend.

Read my We-Vibe Tango X review.

RRP: $84.99

VeDO Vivi Finger Vibrator

Finger vibrators are a great choice for travel due to their small size and discreet design. VeDO is known for quality toys with great motors at relatively affordable price points, and the Vivi finger vibrator is its most petite product. I particularly like the finger-rest design, making it comfortable to hold whether you’re using it on yourself or someone else.

ShopErotic stocks this toy in three different colourways.

RRP: $39.99

Womanizer Vibe: Near-Silent Vibrator for When You Need Discretion on Your Travels

If you’re visiting family, staying in shared accommodation, or otherwise need to be discreet, the Womanizer Vibe has got you covered. This deeply rumbly clitoral vibrator, with its ergonomic handle and hooked tip, is about as close to silent as it’s possible for a vibrator to get.

I was cynical when I saw Womanizer was expanding its range to include a vibrator alongside its signature clitoral suction toys, but the Womanizer Vibe absolutely converted me.

Read my Womanizer Vibe review.

RRP: $139.99

We-Vibe Chorus and Chorus Pro: Travel Vibrators for Couples

The We-Vibe Chorus and newly redesigned Chorus Pro are the perfect wearable, travel-friendly vibrators for couples on the go. Designed to provide clitoral stimulation to the wearer during penetrative sex, the Chorus vibrators also come in a convenient charging and travel case. They are powerful, quiet, and—thanks to the innovative squeeze remotes and We-Vibe app functionality—highly versatile.

Read my We-Vibe Chorus review and We-Vibe Chorus Pro review.

RRP: $229

Lovense Ferri Panty Vibrator

Tiny. Powerful. Discreet. These are the three words I’d use to describe the Ferri, Lovense’s small but mighty panty vibrator. With a magnetic clip to keep it in place and a motor to rival toys many times its size, the Ferri is an ideal choice for hands-free pleasure wherever you go.

Read my Lovense Ferri review.

RRP: $119.99

Vibratex Magic Wand Micro: The Cadillac of Vibrators, Now in Travel-Friendly Miniature

I don’t know who originally referred to the Magic Wand Original (formerly Hitachi Magic Wand) as “the Cadillac of vibrators,” but this is a toy with a reputation that precedes it thanks to the work of the inimitable Betty Dodson. The Magic Wand Micro is a super-mini and travel-friendly rechargeable version that packs a surprising amount of power into a small package.

RRP: $64.99

NS Novelties Inya Rose Clitoral Suction Toy

Has any sex toy caused quite such an online stir as the famed rose? This viral sensation remains popular, and for good reason. Petite, travel-friendly, and discreet, it’s an ideal addition to a romantic getaway with a lover or a sexy solo vacation. The rose clitoral suction toy is rechargeable, easy to use, and made of body-safe silicone.

RRP: $55.95 (currently on sale at ShopErotic at time of writing)

b-Vibe Rimming Plug Petite

If anal pleasure is your thing, you might want to pack a vibrating butt plug. b-Vibe’s Petite Rimming Plug is small but powerful, with dual motors and rotating beads to stimulate the sensitive anal opening and external tissue. It also comes with a wireless remote, allowing you to give control to your partner from up to 30 feet away.

RRP: $160

This post was sponsored by ShopErotic and contains sponsored links. All views and writing, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Juliet Toys Vortex Large Anal Beads

Regular readers of my work may have noticed a new site sponsor in the right hand sidebar. Juliet Toys is a large retailer selling hundreds of products across dozens of categories, from classic vibrators and dildos to fantasy toys, BDSM gear, anal toys, and much more. I’m thrilled to have them on board as a C&K sponsor. They also invited me to review for them, and I received their Vortex Extra Large Anal Beads to try out.

What is the Juliet Toys Vortex?

Vortex large anal beads by Juliet Toys

The Vortex by Juliet Toys is a kind of combination between extra large anal beads and a long butt plug. It’s available in three sizes: small, medium, or large. I received the small, which measures 9.5″ in total length. Due to the nature of the toy, that’s basically all insertable length except for maybe a quarter inch of base. The three beads measure (in ascending order from smallest to largest) 1.4″, 1.6″, and 1.7″ in diameter.

Now, this is more than big enough for me. There is, frankly, no universe in which I would consider 9.5″ of insertable length to be “small.” My butt isn’t that brave, and super huge anal toys have never really been my thing. But they might be yours! If so, you might like the medium (which has a total length of 11.4″ and a widest bead diameter of 2.3″) or the large (total length of 13.2″, widest bead diameter of 2.7″.)

Yes, whichever way you look at it, this is a large toy.

Vortex large anal beads by Juliet Toys

The Vortex is made of 100% body-safe silicone. It begins in a narrow spiral shaft down from a tapered tip, then the lower portion is made up of the three “beads.” It ends in a flared base, which is an absolutely essential safety component for an anal toy. This base is also a suction cup.

This toy has no motor, so it’s easy to clean (the boiling method is what I recommend) and fine to use in the bath or shower, if you like.

What I Liked About the Vortex Extra Large Anal Beads

Once I got over my initial reaction to the Vortex extra large anal beads (“good lord this thing is enormous!”), I found that there are a lot of things I like about it. Namely:

  • It’s a really pretty colour! Specifically, an attractive burnt orange-gold shade. This is an unusual colour for sex toys and also kind of shimmers. I’m here for it. I really believe aesthetics matter for sex toys, so going that extra step to make something pretty will always impress me.
  • The silicone is fairly soft and really squishy.
  • I think, for people who enjoy challenging anal toys, this is an excellent design. It starts off relatively gently with the small head and the slim spiral tip, allowing you to get used to having something inside you before attempting the larger size of the beads.
  • Due to the slowly increasing size as you move further down the toy, it’s ideal for people who want to play with anal training or anal stretching. Going slowly is really key here, not just to ensure you have a good time but also to keep things safe.
Vortex large anal beads by Juliet Toys

  • It’s entirely possible to use just a part of the Vortex extra large anal beads, if you prefer. It lends itself well to exploring slowly, finding out what you like. Even if you end up deciding that super deep penetration or very girthy toys aren’t for you, the top portion of the toy is still entirely usable.
  • It’s very, very flexible. I can imagine this might be a downside for some users, but it will be a plus for many more including me. When it comes to larger toys, flexibility can help with insertion and comfort. It also allows for more flexibility in positioning. And, if you’re trying to target a particular spot (such as the prostate, if you have one), the flexibility can make that easier.
  • If you have a vagina, you can also use the Vortex as a vaginal toy. It’s great for G-spots for exactly the same reasons it’s great for prostates. And, if you prefer a slower warm-up or a slimmer toy for vaginal penetration, this is perfect for that. Remember: a toy that has been inside a butt should never go inside a vagina without first being sterilised. At an absolute minimum, put a condom over it.
  • The suction cup is seriously strong and stays in position well on any flat, firm surface.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

On a personal level, I think this toy is just too big for me to realistically use it as an anal toy with any kind of regularity. When I use butt toys at all, which really isn’t that often, I usually stick to smaller ones. But that’s purely a matter of my body’s preferences and I can’t find any significant criticisms of the Vortex as a product in general.

Juliet Toys Vortex Extra Large Anal Beads: Verdict

The Vortex is an excellent toy for its target audience: people who enjoy (or want to experiment with) long anal toys, extra large anal beads, or other kinds of large anal insertables. And, if you try it and find that’s not for you, there are also numerous other ways to enjoy it.

The Vortex is well-designed, well-made, body-safe, and versatile. What more could you want from a toy?

Please remember that if you’re doing any kind of anal play, adequate lubrication is essential. Always use more than you think you need, and reapply it regularly. For a silicone toy, I recommend a good water-based lube.

The Vortex extra large anal beads set retails for $39.90 for the small size, $49.90 for the medium size, and $59.90 for the large size. All in all I’d say it’s very good value for the size and quality of product.

Thanks to Juliet Toys for sponsoring this review and sponsoring the site! Affiliate links appear in this post and I will make an additional small commission if you use them. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] FusyFun WAVE Anal Toy for Two

Dual stimulation toys for people with vulvas, from rabbit vibrators to wearable toys and much more, have been abundant for a long time. However, there are far fewer dual stim toys for those with penises out there. That’s why, when FusyFun reached out to me, I was excited to check out their “WAVE” dual stim (and shareable) anal toy.

What is the FusyFun WAVE?

The FusyFun WAVE is a vibrating toy designed for anal and penis stimulation. However, it’s a bit of a misnomer to call this a “dual stim” toy; in certain configurations, it can also stimulate the perineum and the balls, making it a triple or even quadruple stimulation toy!

FusyFun WAVE in box with remote control and cable

It has four main parts: an egg shaped bulb with some gently rippled texturing, a raised textured ridge, a stretchy ring, and a long tail with a rigid vibrating nub at the top. It measures 14.88″ in total length, with the insertable bulb measuring 2.56″ in length and 1.3″ in diameter.

FunyFun WAVE laid flat with remote control

The WAVE is made of body-safe silicone in dark blue. It also comes with a plastic remote control.

There’s a little “how to” video on the product page which can help if, like me, you initially struggle to envision how this toy is supposed to work when you unbox it. It covers both solo and partnered use. (The video also covers consent and communication, as well as use of condoms and lube for safer sex, which was a nice unexpected touch!)

The FusyFun WAVE is USB rechargeable, with a 90 minute charge giving around 60 minutes of use time. Its remote requires one CR2032 battery, which is included. The toy is IPX6 waterproof, meaning that it can withstand jets of water but should not be submerged. In other words, it’s fine to wash it under the tap and it’s probably fine to use it in the shower. Don’t take it in the bath (/pool/any other large body of water you might be having sex in) though! The remote control is also not waterproof.

How the WAVE Works

In a nutshell: the bulb end goes into your anus. The stretchy ring can then sit around either your penis or balls, holding the long thin tail and vibrating tip against either the top or underside of your penis.

FusyFun WAVE how-to image
Image: FusyFun

If you like, you can penetrate your partner with your penis and the toy’s tail, adding a little extra girth as well as some internal vibrations for their prostate or G-spot (depending on what type of body they have.) The instructions are weirdly gendered but they don’t need to be; regardless of whether you’re penetrating a vagina or an anus, the toy works in pretty much exactly the same way.

Things I Liked About This Toy

FunyFun WAVE

The most obvious thing I like about this toy is that its design is something new and innovative that I haven’t seen before. In a world of endless reiterations of the same basic toy designs, I always get excited when I see something a bit creative and different. The FusyFun WAVE is a really creative approach to stimulating multiple erogenous zones at the same time. In particular, I love that it allows for stimulation of the perineum, an underrated and potentially highly pleasurable area of the body on folks of all genders.

I also love the versatility of the FusyFun WAVE. Not only is it suitable for both solo and shared play, there are also several different ways to use it in each configuration. You can experiment with different positions, and even use the different parts of the toy entirely differently from the “standard” ways if you like.

Some of the other key things I liked about this toy included:

FunyFun WAVE cock ring close up being stretched

  • It came packaged in an attractive and sturdy branded box. It also comes with a storage bag.
  • The matte silicone is lovely and soft, and feels high quality.
  • The main motor is really good! It’s strong and fairly rumbly.
  • The bendable tail stays in whatever position you put it in. This allows you to position it in exactly the right way for your body, and it won’t move until you want it to.
  • If you position it right, you can use this toy hands-free, keeping your hands available to do other things.
  • The texturing, both on the insertable bulb and the perineum stimulator, is excellent. It’s at the perfect level, in my opinion: pronounced enough to feel it, but gentle enough so as not to be uncomfortable.
  • The super-stretchy ring will accommodate most penis and testicle sizes.
  • The insertable bulb is small enough to be non-intimidating and accessible to newer anal players.
  • The buttons are easy to press and the toy is highly responsive to the remote controls.
  • It is fairly quiet in use, particularly once the bulb end is inside the body.
  • The $75 price point is very reasonable for the quality.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Along with all the things I liked about the FusyFun WAVE, there were also a few small things I didn’t like so much.

  • The controls are a little confusing until you get the hang of them. The button on the toy itself only seems to switch on and control the insertable vibrating bulb. The remote allows you to control the bulb and the small vibrating tip independently. You’ll need to remember which button controls which motor, though, or you risk turning the wrong one off at just the wrong moment.
  • The vibrations in the small tip are very weak and buzzy. This is a real shame considering how good the vibrations in the insertable part are! As it is, it feels like the second motor is a bit of an afterthought.
  • The vibrations that transmit to the perineum portion are pretty weak, too. An additional motor here would fix this issue.

FusyFun WAVE: Verdict

This toy really surprised me, in a good way! I was a little unsure about the concept, but it’s actually such a good design overall. Some tweaking to make the controls a little more intuitive and improving the smaller motor in the tip could easily turn the FusyFun WAVE from a really good product into a truly excellent one.

The FusyFun WAVE retails for $75.

Thanks to FusyFun for sending me this product and sponsoring this review. All views are, as always, my own.

Buying Guide: The Best Vibrating Butt Plugs for Anal August and Beyond

We’re still in Anal August, just about! But, of course, any time of year is a great time to experiment with anal play if you’re interested or curious. So, following on from my round-ups of the best butt plugs and the best anal beads, I’m bringing you my final Anal August buying guide: today we’re looking at the best vibrating butt plugs currently on the market.

Black silicone and silver stainless steel butt plugs, for a post on the best vibrating butt plugs on the market

To learn more about butt plugs more generally, as well as how to choose a safe and quality one, refer back to my best butt plugs roundup linked in the paragraph above. In it, I share what makes a butt plug safe or unsafe, how to use them safely and pleasurably, and some things to look out for when shopping.

In a very small nutshell, a butt plug must always:

  • Have a flared base, large handle, or something similar to stop it slipping all the way inside you
  • Be made of a body-safe and non-porous material such as silicone, glass, or stainless steel

It’s also essential to use plenty of lube when you’re playing with an anal plug since the butt isn’t self-lubricating.

About This List

Three silicone butt plugs in black, purple and pink, for a post on the best vibrating butt plugs on the market

None of my buying guides are, or pretend to be, comprehensive lists of all the great options available. There are thousands of these products on the market of varying quality. I am simply here to guide you towards some of the possible vibrating butt plug options that might suit you.

Everything listed here is from a manufacturer/retailer I trust, and links are affiliate links. This means that if you click on the links and make a purchase, I earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. I do not work for or claim to represent any of these companies, and any purchase you make is a contract with them and not with me.

Everything I recommend here is made of a body-safe material and is, to the best of my knowledge, safe for normal use. Where possible, I have tried to provide options at a range of price points. Products in lists are ordered from the cheapest to the most expensive.

Let’s dive in.

Best Vibrating Silicone Anal Plugs

A basic vibrating butt plug made of silicone is a great option if you are exploring these toys for the first time. There are countless options available, but these are a few I’d suggest starting with:

Best Remote Control Butt Plugs

One of the downsides of vibrating butt plugs with controls on the toy is that it can be difficult to change the settings when it’s inside you. You can sidestep that problem with remote control plugs like these:

Best App Control Butt Plugs

Enjoy using remote control toys? Step it up a notch with app-controlled toys. These are also a great option if you want to play with a partner long-distance. These are some of the very best vibrating butt plugs with app control options in my opinion.

Best Rimming Plugs

This section is going to be a bit different as I don’t have options from multiple manufacturers for you here. Rimming plugs were invented and pioneered by B-Vibe, and they are still pretty much the only company making them! In short, rimming plugs utilise rotating beads in the neck to mimic the sensation of being rimmed (that’s when someone uses their tongue on your butt. Many people find it incredibly erotic.)

Check out B-Vibe’s vibrating rimming butt plug range, which come in sizes from petite to extra large and range in price from $159.99 to $174.99.

Best Vibrating Glass and Metal Anal Plugs

There are many glass and metal butt plugs on the market, but far fewer that vibrate. As such, I’ve combined them into one for this post. If you’re in the mood for something rigid, glass and metal are great options. They’re also great for temperature play as they conduct heat well. And, since they don’t dampen the vibrations in the same way that silicone does, they can be seriously intense.

Best Vibrating Butt Plugs Under £25/$30

You don’t need to spend a fortune to get safe and quality toys! In my opinion, these are some of the best vibrating butt plugs available for those on a budget.

Purple silicone butt plug and lube held in a woman's hands, for a post on the best vibrating butt plugs on the market

I hope this list of some of the best vibrating butt plugs has been helpful! Please let me know if you have any questions or if there’s a particular buying guide you want me to do next.

Buying Guide: The Best Butt Plugs for Anal August and Beyond

August is a great time to buy anal toys. I have no idea where this “Anal August” thing initially came from (the mind of some enterprising marketing person, probably!) but what it means is that virtually every sex toy retailer you can think of will be running some kind of promotion on butt toys this month. Last week I told you all about the best anal beads on the market. Today we’re continuing that theme with another anal toys buying guide, this time focusing on the best butt plugs for a variety of needs.

What is a Butt Plug?

Two butt plugs, one black and one pink on a pale pink background. For a post on the best butt plugs

A butt plug is simply a toy that is designed to be inserted into the anus. However, unlike many other types of toys, the main purpose of a butt plug is to remain in place for a period of time. In other words, rather than thrusting or taking it in and out, you put it in and then leave it.

Butt plugs come in numerous shapes, sizes, and materials. They are usually narrower towards the tip and then get wider before narrowing again. A bulb, teardrop, or cone shape is the most typical, though there are plenty of variations. All butt plugs must have a large base or handle – we’ll go into this more in the next section.

Butt plugs stimulate the sensitive nerve endings in and around the anus. If you have a prostate (that’s most people assigned male at birth), some plugs can also stimulate this highly sensitive organ.

Some people like to wear a butt plug during sex or masturbation to enhance pleasure. Some use them to prepare for anal sex as they can help the butt to relax and get ready to take a penis or dildo. Others like to discreetly wear a butt plug under their clothes as they go about their day. For some people, this can be part of a BDSM or power exchange relationship (e.g. a Dominant instructing their submissive to wear a plug when they go out.)

What to Look For When Choosing the Best Butt Plugs for You

Two butt plugs made of metal, one showing a heart crystal butt plug base. For a post on the best butt plugs

As with all sex toys, safety comes first when you’re choosing the best butt plugs for you. Anal toys must always, always have a large, flared base or handle. This prevents them from getting sucked up inside your butt and getting stuck, which can be extremely dangerous and cause serious damage to your body.

Butt plugs must also be made from a body-safe material. Silicone, glass, aluminium, and stainless steel are all good options. Avoid toxic materials such as jelly, rubber, PVC, and “soft plastics.” Avoid porous materials such as TPE and TPR, too, as these will harbour bacteria and can cause infection.

Once you’ve taken safety into account, it’s all about preferences. Do you want a softer and squishier plug (in which case you probably want a silicone toy) or a more rigid one (in which case glass or metal will be your friend?) What sort of size works for you? Do you want your butt plug to vibrate?

How to Use Butt Plugs Pleasurably and Safely

Stainless steel butt plug, silicone butt plug and glass butt plug on a pale pink background. For a post on the best butt plugs

There is a common misconception that anal play is painful. It does not have to be and, in fact, shouldn’t be. It can be intense, and may be challenging, but pain is a sign that something isn’t right and you should pause, adjust, or stop. Never force something into a butt that isn’t ready.

When you start playing with butt plugs, begin with a small plug and go slowly. Listen to your body and try not to have a specific goal in mind. If you get the plug all the way in, great! If you don’t but you still had fun, amazing! Kept it in for a minute or ten minutes or an hour? Go you!

Adequate lubrication is also absolutely critical. Unlike the vagina, the butt is not self-lubricating. A good quality water-based lube will work with all types of butt plugs. Personally I find that thicker, gel-type water-based lubes are ideal for anal play. Sliquid Sassy and Vibeology Pure are two gentle and body-friendly options I recommend.

Finally, keep things hygienic. Coming into contact with small amounts of fecal matter is pretty much inevitable when you’re doing anal play, even after washing, and butt germs can make you sick if you’re not careful. Wash your hands before and after inserting your toy or doing any kind of anal stimulation. Learn how to properly sterilise your sex toys (the boiling method is best for silicone toys.) At a minimum, wipe your toys with a body-safe sterile wipe and wash them with soap and water before and after use. Never use an unsterilised toy vaginally or orally after it has been inside a butt. Check your toys before you use them and retire any that have cracks, splits, tears, or other damage to the material.

About This List

Person's hand reaching for a stainless steel butt plug on a bedside table. For a post on the best butt plugs

There are thousands upon thousands of variations of these toys available on the market, and this list is in no way intended to be comprehensive. The best butt plugs for you will always be a somewhat personal and subjective decision. What I have aimed to do here is to guide you towards safe and quality products that might suit you, depending upon your requirements.

Everything listed here is from a manufacturer/retailer I trust, and many of the links are affiliate links. This just means that if you make a purchase, I make a small commission at no additional cost to you. I do not work for or claim to represent any of these companies, and any purchase you make is a contract with them and not with me.

Everything I recommend here is made of a body-safe material and is, to the best of my knowledge, safe for normal use. Where possible, I have tried to provide options at a range of price points. Products in lists are ordered from the cheapest to the most expensive.

Let’s go, shall we?

Best Basic Silicone Butt Plugs

Basic silicone plugs are probably the best option for beginners. They’re also the most versatile and amongst the easiest to use. Silicone is soft, and comes in a range of firmness and flexibility levels. This is probably also the most ubiquitous category of butt plug, with virtually every sex toy manufacturer and retailer having their own variation on this theme. Here are a few I trust.

Best Glass Anal Plugs

Glass is a fantastic material for sex toys (and no, it won’t break inside you!) Glass butt plugs are rigid yet smooth, and allow you to play with temperatures by warming or cooling them if you want to. Look for borosilicate glass – that’s similar to the stuff that Pyrex cookwear is made from – for the safest and most durable options.

Best Stainless Steel Butt Plugs

Many people find the look and feel of stainless steel extremely sexy. Its weight can also add a little extra stimulation, ensuring you feel your toy every single time you move. Like glass, stainless steel is ideal for playing with different temperatures, too. Other metals such as aluminium are body-safe alternatives (as long as you don’t have an allergy) that may be cheaper, but stainless steel is always the best choice for metal sex toys if you can afford it.

Best Extra Large Butt Plugs

I never recommend starting out with large toys when you’re new to anal play. However, once you’ve got a bit of experience under your belt, you might be curious about larger toys. These extra large butt plugs – each at least 5″ in usable length and at least 2″ in diameter – are great choices for advanced players seeking a challenge.

Best Slimline Anal Plugs

Slimmer butt plugs are great for beginners, for all-day wear… and just for anyone who prefers a smaller toy. These are some of the best butt plugs with a diameter of less than 1″ at the widest point.

Best Jewelled Butt Plugs

Some people love butt plugs not just for how they feel, but for how they look. There are numerous decorative options available in all kinds of styles, but jewelled plugs – which have a jewel or crystal set into the base – are amongst the most popular. Here are a few I love.

Note: I don’t recommend boil-sterilising crystal/jewel plugs as this can damage the glue and cause the gem to fall out. Use a sterile wipe and warm water with antibacterial soap instead.

Best Butt Plug Sets

Butt plug sets are great for those who are new to anal play and don’t know what sizes work for them yet. They’re also great for anyone doing anal training… or just for people who are in the mood for different things on different days. Here are some of the best butt plugs sets that offer a range of sizes to choose from.

Best Butt Plugs Under £15/$20

Great sex toys need not be expensive. Though you’ll pay a premium for some brands, there are also lots of great budget options on the market. Here are a few of them.

Hand holding a purple silicone butt plug on a pink background. For a post on the best butt plugs

And there you have it! A massive round-up of some of the best butt plugs on the market for all preferences and budgets this Anal August and beyond. Happy shopping and, if you have any questions, just drop me a line and I’ll do my best to help.

Buying Guide: The Best Anal Beads for Anal August and Beyond

I have no idea where the idea of “Anal August” originated, and I have to assume it was initially a marketing ploy to promote either sex toys or content. Regardless, it seems to be here to stay and virtually every sex toy retailer I work with is running some kind of related promotion. This means it’s a pretty good time to buy anal toys! Choosing the best anal beads, vibrating anal toys, butt plug, prostate massager, or other anal toys for your needs can be a minefield, though, with thousands of products of varying quality flooding the market.

That’s why I’m going to be running a series of anal-themed buying guides throughout August to help you. Today we’re looking at anal beads.

What Are Anal Beads?

Two sets of silicome anal beads on a yellow background for a post on the best anal beads

In a nutshell, anal beads are sex toys made up of a string of beads (anything from 3 to 10+) that go up your butt. They usually end in a base, ring, or similar handle. This is both for safety (more on this below!) and to make it easier to hold and manipulate the beads. Most anal beads are tapered, with the smallest beads towards the tip and the largest towards the base. There are exceptions, though.

Unlike butt plugs—which are designed to be inserted and then left alone for a period of time—anal beads are designed to be inserted and removed repeatedly, much like you would with a dildo. Most people prefer to do this fairly slowly and gradually rather than hard and fast thrusting, but you can experiment to see what feels best to you. In this way, the beads stimulate the sensitive nerve endings around the entrance to your butt as well as those inside. If you are someone who has a prostate – that’s most people who were assigned male at birth—then anal beads can also be a great way to stimulate this incredibly sensitive and pleasurable area.

Some people say that using a set of anal beads during sex or masturbation and then pulling them out at the point of climax intensifies their orgasm.

What to Look For When Choosing the Best Anal Beads for You

Black anal beads lying on a bed, for a post on the best anal beads

First and foremost, it is important to make sure the anal beads you are choosing are safe. There are three main things you should look for to help you choose a safe product:

  1. A body-safe material such as silicone, glass, or stainless steel. Avoid toxic materials such as jelly, PVC, rubber, and soft plastics. It is particularly important to avoid porous materials (including TPE and TPR) for anal toys as it is impossible to get them completely clean. In addition, avoid toys where the beads are threaded together with string or similar. This, too, is impossible to sterilise and can be a vector for introducing bacteria and potential infection to your body.
  2. A flared or otherwise large base. This is extremely important for any anal toy. Without it, the toy can get lost or stuck inside your body, which can be a serious medical emergency.
  3. Beads that are well-made. The material should be free from any rough or uneven areas and there should be no cracks, tears, or other damage.

After that, it’s largely a matter of preference. Do you prefer girthier or slimmer toys? Longer or shorter ones? Softer or firmer textures? Silicone beads are softer and more flexible than glass or metal, but harder materials can provide more intense sensations. They also offer other fun possibilities such as temperature play. Do you want your anal beads to have a vibrating option?

How to Use Anal Beads Pleasurably and Safely

Black anal beads, pink anal beads, pink rabbit vibrator and black butt plug. For a post on the best anal beads

Using anal beads is pretty easy, but once you’ve selected your toy there are a few things you need to be aware of to ensure you have a safe and fun time.

First, adequate lubrication is essential. A water-based lube is best for use with anal toys, especially if the toys are made of silicone. You might want to choose a thicker, gel-type lubricant for anal play.

It’s also important to start slowly. Anal play can be intense, but it should not be painful. If something feels wrong, stop or adjust. And never, ever force something inside before your butt is ready. This can tear the delicate tissue and lead to pain, bleeding, and ongoing complications.

Finally, hygiene is even more important when it comes to anal sex toys. I recommend sterilising your toys between uses (the boiling method is best for silicone toys.) At a minimum, wipe them with a body-safe sterile wipe and then give them a good wash with soap and water. Never use a toy vaginally or orally after it has been used in a butt until it has been fully sterilised. Check your toys before you use them and, if there are any rips, tears, cracks, or other damage to the material, retire them.

About This List

Glass and metal anal beads, stainless steel anal beads and glass anal beads

This is by no means meant to be a comprehensive list of all the quality anal beads toys out there. There are thousands – tens of thousands, probably – of variations of these products available, and the best anal beads for you will always be a somewhat subjective decision. Instead, this is designed to help guide you towards some of the versions that might suit you depending on your requirements.

Everything listed here is from a manufacturer/retailer I trust, and links are affiliate links. This means I make a small commission on your purchases at no additional cost to you. I do not work for or claim to represent any of these companies, and any purchase you make is a contract with them and not with me.

Everything I recommend here is made of a body-safe material and is, to the best of my knowledge, safe for normal use. Where possible, I have tried to provide options at a range of price points. Products in lists are ordered from the cheapest to the most expensive.

With that said, let’s get going.

Best Basic Silicone Anal Beads

Basic silicone anal beads are ideal if you’re on a budget or just exploring anal beads for the first time. There are countless options on the market in this category, but here are a few I trust:

Best Glass Beads

Glass is a fantastic material for sex toys. It is smooth, rigid and unyielding and also allows you to play with temperature by warming it up or cooling it down if you want to.

Best Metal Beads

Metal, like glass, is rigid and perfect for temperature play. Some people also find its aesthetic incredibly sexy! Stainless steel is the best material for metal sex toys, though other metals (aluminium is a popular choice) can work for most people as long as you don’t have an allergy, and may be cheaper.

Best Vibrating Anal Beads

Vibrators aren’t just for clits. Adding vibrations to your anal beads can take your butt pleasure to an entirely new level. Here are some of the best vibrating anal beads currently on the market in my opinion, including both close-range and remote control options.

Best Long Anal Beads

Sometimes you want a little (or a lot) extra depth! These are some of the best anal beads measuring at least 9″ in length.

Best Girthy Anal Beads

If girth matters as much or more to you than length, you’ll love these girthy anal beads.

Best Slimline Anal Beads

On the other hand, perhaps slimmer anal beads are more comfortable and pleasurable for you. If so, these are some of the best options with a diameter of 1″ or less.

Best Curved Anal Beads

Curved anal beads are a particularly great choice for directly targeting the prostate, which is located a couple of inches inside the rectum (below the bladder) towards the front wall.

Best Anal Beads Sets

Perhaps you’re new to anal toys and not sure what you like yet, or maybe you’re just in the mood for different things on different days. The best anal beads sets offer toys in a range of sizes.

Best Options Under £20/$25

Depending on the features and materials you’re looking for, anal beads—like all sex toys—can be expensive. However, they needn’t be if you’re just after something fairly basic. Sadly, a lot of cheap sex toys on the market are poorly made or use unsafe materials. Here are five of the best anal beads retailing for under £20 or $25.

Pink anal beads on display in a sex toy shop

Hopefully this guide has helped to demystify the buying process and help you to choose the best anal beads for you! What buying guides do you want to see from me in the future?

4 Anal Sex Myths You Should Stop Believing

Anal sex is probably one of the most misunderstood sex acts of all. It carries an allure for a lot of people, whether they want to be on the giving end or the receiving end or both. However, it also scares a lot of people. This is, in part, due to incorrect assumptions and beliefs. Anal sex myths can scare people off who might otherwise be interested in trying this type of play. They can also lead people to engage in dangerous behaviours or take unnecessary risks due to a lack of knowledge.

Here at C&K, we’re all about fact-based and non-stigmatising information. So let’s bust some anal sex myths, shall we?

Anal Sex Always Hurts

This is perhaps one of the most harmful anal sex myths, and actually likely leads to more avoidable pain and injuries. After all, if you think anal is supposed to hurt you’ll be more likely to push through pain, which can be dangerous. In fact, though anal can be intense and some mild discomfort can be normal, pain is your body’s way of telling you that something is wrong.

With proper lubrication, warm-up, enthusiastic consent, and communication with your partner, anal sex does not need to be – and should not be – painful. If something hurts it’s time to adjust, add more lube, or stop for now.

And by the way: those “numbing” or “desensitizing” lubes designed for anal sex? Avoid them at all costs. The ingredients in them can be harmful, they increase your risk of injury, and (frankly) if you have to numb your body to engage in a particular sex act, then you probably shouldn’t be doing that thing at all.

It Isn’t Pleasurable for the Bottom

This particular myth always strikes me as really sad, particularly when I see questions from people who are trying to grit their teeth and force themselves into anal sex they don’t want to please their partner.

Anal sex isn’t pleasurable for everyone and, if you don’t enjoy it, then you shouldn’t do it! However, if you do want to, it can be just as pleasurable for the bottom (the person being penetrated) as for the top (the person doing the penetrating.) Think about it: if anal sex wasn’t pleasurable for the receptive partner, why would anal sex toys such as butt plugs and prostate massagers be so popular?

One of the reasons that anal sex can feel so pleasurable for cis men and other people assigned male at birth is due to the prostate. Approximately the size and shape of a walnut, this gland is located just below the bladder and in front of the rectum. It is responsible for producing some of the fluid in semen and, when stimulated, it is incredibly sensitive.

However, anal sex isn’t all about the prostate, and can be just as pleasurable for receptive partners who do not have one. There are still tonnes of highly sensitive nerve endings in and around the butt, which can feel incredible. And, of course, it is located close to the genitals. According to a 2022 study on (cis) women’s experiences of anal pleasure: “[the anus] contains a dense network of sensory nerves that participate with the genitals in the engorgement, muscular tension and contractions of sexual arousal and orgasm.”

Yes, it’s even possible for some people to have an orgasm from anal sex without any direct stimulation of the genitals! Aren’t bodies awesome?

Anal Sex is Only For Gay Men (Or All Gay Men Have Anal Sex)

Wrong on both counts! Many of the most common anal sex myths centre on sexual orientation, from who engages in it to what it means about your sexuality if you do.

Firstly, anal sex is for anyone who wants to have it. We all have a butt, after all! Liking or not liking anal sex doesn’t imply a single thing about your sexuality. Your sexual orientation is about who you’re attracted to, not which acts you want to do.

Also, not all men who have sex with men (MSM) have anal sex. One 2011 survey of almost 25,000 gay and bisexual men in the US found that only 35% of respondents had had anal sex during their last sexual encounter. Some queer men do it regularly, some do it occasionally, and some never do it at all. All of this is completely normal and awesome.

You Can’t Get Pregnant, So Anal Sex is Safe Sex

It’s true, of course, that a person cannot become pregnant from anal sex, but the idea that this makes it safe is a myth. Like all forms of sex, anal has some risks.

In fact, when it comes to the transmission of STIs, unprotected anal sex is actually riskier than most other kinds of sexual activity including unprotected vaginal sex. However, it’s easy to mitigate this risk with a few basic precautions.

The best way to protect yourself and your partner(s) is to use a condom every time you have anal sex. If you choose to go barrier-free for anal – which I only recommend in the context of an ongoing relationship with someone you trust – make sure that both you and your partner(s) are having regular sexual health screenings.

You might also want to ask your healthcare provider if pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP, is suitable for you. PrEP is a daily medication for people at risk of exposure to HIV, whether through sex or through drug use. According to the CDC, it reduces the risk of contracting HIV through sex by about 99% when used as directed.

FYI: this post was sponsored. All writing and views are, as always, entirely my own.

[Toy Review] HoneyPlayBox Seduction, Alvina, and Oly Vibrators

HoneyPlayBox is a multi-award-winning adult manufacturer and retailer, and recently offered me some products to test and review. In this post, we’ll be looking at three vibrators: the Seduction, Alvina, and Oly. Let’s get into it!

HoneyPlayBox Seduction Tongue Vibrator Review

The HoneyPlayBox Seduction won the Xbiz Toy of the Year Award 2021, so I was very keen to test this award-winning product.

HoneyPlayBox seduction clit licking tongue vibrator suction vibrator

The Seduction’s innovative design combines light suction (of the type you’d get from a pussy pump) with a rapid licking action from a small silicone tongue. The wide head sits over your vulva, creating a seal. This then provides suction either constantly or in a pulsing pattern, while the tongue laps at your clit. There are 5 suction modes and 10 tongue modes to choose from.

Buttons on HoneyPlayBox Seduction tongue vibrator

The only real downside for me was that I struggled to get the Seduction to create a proper vacuum against my vulva due to my pubic hair. This tongue vibrator was definitely designed with hairless pussies or heavily trimmed pubes in mind. Getting it to stick in place and create a seal was a matter of trial and error, and it would dislodge with a small wrong movement. Adding a little water-based lube around the rim helped to get a seal, but it still wasn’t perfect.

HoneyPlayBox Seduction clit licking suction vibrator for a review of tongue vibrators

That frustration aside, I enjoyed using the Seduction. The suction function offers a new and different sensation that’s unlike any toy I’ve used before, and the flicking tongue is perfect for those who love intense and targeted clitoral stimulation. If you tend to go for pinpoint vibrators, you might enjoy this one.

The HoneyPlayBox Seduction is rechargeable via the included cable (a full charge lasts around 3 hours) and made of body-safe silicone with ABS plastic accents. The suction makes a distinctive whirring noise, but it’s not super loud. The flicking tongue is impressively quiet. The Seduction is splashproof but not waterproof.

Buy the Seduction here.

HoneyPlayBox Alvina Tongue Vibrator Review

Today’s second review item, the HoneyPlayBox Alvina. features a circular handle/base with a finger loop for ease of use. It’s ultra light and a pretty pinkish red colour.

Alvina tongue vibrator for a review of HoneyPlayBox tongue vibrators

The Alvina opens at the top to reveal a wide silicone tongue. This tongue flicks back and forth in any one of 9 different speeds and patterns. It’s controlled by a single button, and the tongue can be used by itself or with any of the 9 vibration patterns controlled by the second button. You can mix and match the two functions in any combination. This creates over 80 different possible combinations (many of which I tried while testing this tongue vibrator for this review!) Pretty neat!

My clit adores the Alvina’s wide, flat tongue, especially when combined with plenty of lube. The gentle, rhythmical lapping is an amazing warm up and, when I add the vibrations, it becomes intense enough to get me off.

Alvina tongue vibrator clitoral oral sex simulator by HoneyPlayBox

The vibrations in the HoneyPlayBox Alvina are quite buzzy, which I usually complain about in a review. But in this context I find I don’t mind as much. I think the combination of vibration and tongue motion means that I don’t really notice that the vibes are buzzier than I’d typically go for.

Buttons on Alvina clit tongue vibrator from HoneyPlayBox

The Alvina is rechargeable, with a full charge lasting up to 3 hours. Like the Seduction, it’s impressively quiet. Made of silicone with ABS plastic, it is hygienic and body-safe. The Alvina is also waterproof.

Buy the Alvina here.

HoneyPlayBox Oly Review

HoneyPlayBox Oly app-controlled vibrator

Upon first glance at the HoneyPlayBox Oly vibrator, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was a butt plug. It certainly looks like one! It could be used as one if you wanted, though. However, its main purpose is as a a two-in-one clitoral and G-spot vibrator that comes with added app-control functionality.

The Oly measures 4.4″ in total length, of which just over 3″ is insertable, and 1.6″ in diameter at the widest point. It is IPX7 waterproof (i.e. submersible) and USB rechargeable via the included magnetic cable. Made of high quality silicone, it’s available in two colours, pink or turquoise.

HoneyPlayBox Oly remote control vibrator

The Oly’s vibrations, particularly in the clitoral stimulator, are pretty powerful. I’m not sure if the motor in this part is actually more powerful, or if it’s just less dampened because the silicone here is thinner. Either way, stronger external vibrations and weaker internal ones is the correct combination for me. On the downside, however, the vibrations are pretty buzzy.

I also love that curve. The internal portion of the Oly is the perfect length and shape for targeted G-spot pressure, at least on my body. The two raised ridges on the top side of the clitoral stimulator are ideally positioned and awesome for sort of grinding against, and the flexibility of the neck makes insertion comfortable and positioning easy.

HoneyPlayBox Oly app-controlled sex toy

Unfortunately, the Oly doesn’t stay in place very well well. I have to use my hands to hold it if I want to keep the internal part inside and the external part against my clit at the same time. In addition, the distance between the internal part and the clitoral stimulator won’t work for all bodies. It just about fits on mine, but if you have a larger distance between your vaginal opening and your clitoris then it just won’t fit right.

Finally, I don’t love that it’s a one-button interface (super annoying when there’s 9 settings to scroll through) or that you can’t control the two motors separately.

Buy the Oly here.

How is the App Functionality?

Many HoneyPlayBox toys, including the Oly, are app enabled. The HoneyPlayBox app is available free on both Android and iOS. You’ll need to set up an account with your email address and then choose a username. (You’ll also have to select if you’re a “girl” or a “boy”, which is entirely unnecessary as well as annoyingly binary.)

On the main screen, there are two wheels that allow you to control the toy’s two motors and switch between settings with a swipe of your finger. The responsiveness is excellent and it’s nice to have an easy way to control the two motors independently. Tapping the rocket button on the left gives you “enhanced mode”, which is just more powerful vibrations, while the pause button on the right allows you to momentarily switch off the vibrations without losing your chosen settings.

“Free touch” allows you to create your own vibration patterns for each motor, changing them as you go along by swiping the bee icons up or down. “Music mode” makes the toy vibe along with either ambient noise or audio files on your phone. And “remote play” allows you to connect with a partner from a distance and hand control to them.

Overall I’m impressed with the HoneyPlayBox app’s good array of features and its excellent reliability and responsiveness.

HoneyPlayBox Oly dual stimulation vibrator

Thanks to HoneyPlayBox for sponsoring this review. I was paid to write this piece but all experiences and views are my own. You can use code KINK15 to get 15% off almost all products at HoneyPlayBox.

[Toy Review] We-Vibe Ditto+ App Controlled Butt Plug

We-Vibe has been one of the biggest players in the app-controlled sex toys space for a long time now, and for good reason. From their early days of pioneering wearable clitoral vibrators to the extensive product range they have today, We-Vibe has consistently produced quality toys that live up to their high price tag. I recently received the We-Vibe Ditto+ to review.

I’ll be candid and say I don’t use anal toys all that often and when I do, I tend to be very choosy. So let’s see how this one measured up.

We-Vibe Ditto+ Details

We-Vibe Ditto+ vibrating butt plug

The We-Vibe Ditto+ is a vibrating butt plug measuring 3.5″ in total length, 3″ in insertable length, and a petite 1.2″ in diameter at the widest point. It is rechargeable via the included USB cable, with a single charge giving you around 120 minutes of runtime. It’s also fully waterproof and submersible, and comes with a cotton storage bag.

The We-Vibe Ditto+ is made of lovely, body-safe matte silicone and is available in two colourways: pink or black. I received the pink, which has a gorgeous subtle shimmer when it catches the light. It seems petty to bring this up in a review, but when you’re paying over £100 for a pricey toy like the We-Vibe Ditto+, those things do matter: I don’t love that it has a visible seam all the way around and little spot marks, presumably from the molding process.

We-Vibe Ditto+ Review: Insertion and Comfort

I appreciate the We-Vibe Ditto+’s small size. On the relatively rare occasions that I use anal toys, I tend to opt for smaller ones. Large anal insertables just aren’t really my thing. That said, if you prefer a larger toy, this one probably isn’t for you.

We-Vibe Ditto+ vibrating anal plug

Like all anal toys, the Ditto+ is suitable for folks of all genders and genital configurations. However, it’s not large enough to reach the prostate on most people who have one, so look elsewhere if you’re looking for a prostate stimulator. (Might I recommend the Aneros range?)

If you have a vagina, the shape of the Ditto+ is ideal for wearing during penetrative sex. Just remember to angle the flat side of the Ditto+ towards the front of your body for comfort. Your partner will feel the vibrations when they’re inside you. Vaginal/anal double penetration isn’t really my jam but, if I was going to do it, the Ditto+ is an ideal plug for the purpose.

I really like the base design of the Ditto+, too. As you may know, it’s vital for anal toys to have a flared base. This is because, without one, there’s a risk of them getting sucked up into your butt and getting stuck. (Cue an embarrassing trip to A&E or, at worst, a real medical emergency.)

We-Vibe Ditto+ app controlled butt plug base and buttons

However, many anal toys have rounded bases that can be super uncomfortable to wear after a while. The Ditto+’s L-shaped base sits flush with the curve of the butt cheeks comfortably and without digging in.

Don’t forget that plenty of lube is absolutely essential for safe and pleasurable anal play.

How Does It Feel? Vibrations, Controls, and Sound

The We-Vibe Ditto+ has 4 steady speeds and 6 patterns; I tried all of them for this review, but honestly as usual I only really like the steady speeds. The toy itself has only a one-button interface, but the remote control makes it easy to switch between settings and to turn the intensity up or down.

The button on the base of the toy is a little too firm and difficult to press. However, you’re unlikely to use it all that much. Once the toy is inside you, it’s just too awkwardly placed and you’re much better off using the remote control. The remote has a simple interface, easy to press buttons, and great responsiveness. Be aware that the remote isn’t waterproof, though.

Like most We-Vibe toys, this one has an excellent motor. It’s strong and rumbly, and ideally situated within the toy to transmit the most vibrations to the right spots. When I use vibrating clitoral vibrators, I tend to turn them straight to the highest setting and leave them there. It’s different with butt toys, though, where I tend to prefer slightly gentler stimulation. The top setting on the Ditto+ is actually a bit too much for me! Butts are sensitive and easily overstimulated, as it turns out. (At least mine is.)

Sometimes it feels as though every sex toy I review claims to be “whisper quiet,” and the We-Vibe Ditto+ is no exception. This is usually laughably and demonstrably untrue. To be honest, the companies that proclaim this are often the ones producing the most obnoxiously loud, rattly, whiny toys! However, We-Vibe toys are consistently impressively quiet, especially when you balance their level of power against their level of volume.

The Ditto+ is no exception. Even at the highest setting its noise is no more than a quiet buzz. It’s totally discreet for use anywhere with a reasonable level of ambient noise. (So if going out with a plug in is your thing, have at it!)

We-Vibe App Functionality

The brand new We-Vibe app has been totally redesigned and rebuilt from scratch, so I downloaded the new version for this We-Vibe Ditto+ review. It’s free to download from the Android or iOS app stores. You don’t even need to create an account to start playing, so you can dive in straight away.

The app walks you through connecting your toy, which is done through Bluetooth and takes about 20 seconds. You can then select “Play” to control your toy from close range, or “Long Distance Play” to connect with a partner anywhere in the world.

The “Single Vibe” mode allows you to select a setting and then change the intensity with the swipe of a finger. The “Multi Vibe” mode is particularly cool and allows you to select four different modes, which appear in the four quadrants of your screen. You can then change mode and adjust the intensity with the swipe of a finger.

You can also create a playlist or use “Beat Mode” to vibe along to music, or select “Ambient Mode” to have your toy respond to the ambient noise of your surroundings. (This could be fun in a loud environment such as a club or party.)

Overall, an impressive array of options that make for a surprisingly versatile toy!

The one option I found completely useless while I was testing the We-Vibe Ditto+ for this review? The “Touch Mode.” Supposedly this allows you to translate touches of the screen into a vibration pattern but no matter how (or how fast or slow) I moved my finger across the screen, the intensity and pattern of the vibrations was the same. It’s a cool idea but utterly non-functional in its current form.

The We-Vibe’s app connectivity is steady, reliable, and highly responsive as long as you’ve got a decent internet connection. We-Vibe has typically been ahead of the curve in this area generally, but the new and improved app really is a step up.

The We-Vibe app does not allow screenshots due to its security policy. This was super annoying for the purposes of completing this We-Vibe Ditto+ review, but does make sense from a safety perspective!

We-Vibe Ditto+ Review: Verdict

If you just want a basic vibrating silicone plug, you can get something much cheaper and enjoy much the same effect (though, admittedly, the vibrations won’t be as strong or rumbly.) But if you’re going to make the most of the extensive app functionality, the We-Vibe Ditto+ is a good investment.

Good design, great vibrations, actually useable app. Excellent all around.

The We-Vibe Ditto+ retails from £109.99/$139 and is available from Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, SheVibe, We-Vibe Europe and We-Vibe North America.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the We-Vibe Ditto+ to review. All views and experiences mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

6 Things Not to Do If You Want to Have Anal Sex Successfully

I recently learned that “Anal August” is apparently a thing, dedicated to celebrating all things butt sex. A lot of people want to try anal sex, but there are some common mistakes that can prevent you from enjoying safe and pleasurable anal. Let’s talk about some of them.

Note: my definition of “successful” anal sex is anything that is consensual, pleasurable, and safe for all parties involved. Beyond that, you do you. We don’t do prescriptive around here. A certain level of penetration (or any penetration at all) is not required!

The Most Common Anal Mistake: Skimping on the Lube

We all know that we need to use tonnes and tonnes of lube to have anal sex successfully, right? Well, you probably need even more lube than you think. No, add a bit more. More than that. Okay, now you’re good. If things don’t feel slippery wet, you’re probably not using enough. If anything is hurting, catching, or you can feel a lot of friction, you’re definitely not using enough.

It’s also a good idea to keep adding lube regularly, particularly if you’re using water-based as it will dry up after a while. I like silicone lube for anal sex because it’s so slippery and lasts ages (but remember it’s not a good idea to use silicone lube with silicone toys.)

A bonus tip: please never, ever use “numbing” or “desensitising” lube. Pain is your body’s way of letting you know that something is wrong. If you can’t feel it, you may not notice if you’re being harmed until it’s too late. Plus, anal sex is supposed to be pleasurable! If you’re numbing your body to get through it, please consider whether it’s something you are even truly desiring or consenting to. Seriously, these products should not exist and can get in the fucking bin.

Don’t Rush

Apart from skimping on lube, one of the most common anal mistakes people make is rushing. It’s understandable if you’ve been wanting to try anal for some time and are excited, but slowing down is essential.

You probably won’t get an entire penis or dildo in your butt the first time you try anal sex. That’s totally normal. Even if you only get the tip of one finger inside, that’s a success as long as you had a good time. I say this all the time with kink, but it’s true for any kind of sex: it is always better to end a session thinking “I’d like to do more next time” than to end it thinking “fuck, I went too far.”

Don’t forget about exploring externally, too. Anal play isn’t all about penetration! There’s a reason rimming (oral sex performed on the anus) is so popular. That entire area is really sensitive and having it stroked, licked, or teased can feel really good. Even just running a lubed-up finger across the anal opening can provide an intensely erotic sensation.

Don’t Restrict Yourself to Hands and Dicks

Anal sex toys are often erroneously categorised as “for men.” This is problematic in a couple of ways. First, “sex toys for men” is usually used synonymously with “for people with dicks.” And by now we all know that not everyone with a penis is a man, don’t we? Aside from this, everyone has a butt! Some anal toys are designed specifically to stimulate the prostate. And it’s true that if you were assigned female at birth, you don’t have a prostate. However, no matter what type of genitals you have, the butt is packed with nerve endings and sensitive spots that feel really good when stimulated.

What I’m really saying is: get yourself some butt toys! If you want to try anal play, they can be a great way to start out, explore, or expand your repertoire.

If you’ve never done anal play before, don’t make the mistake of going straight for large toys. Start with a mini butt plug (I like Godemiche’s Plug B in small) and work your way up. After that, you can try a larger plug or a small slimline dildo. I like the Godemiche Peg for a beginner anal dildo or just as a great option for those who prefer smaller and slimmer toys. And if you’d like to fuck your partner anally but don’t have (or don’t want to use) a bio-cock, a good strap-on harness should be on your shopping list.

Don’t forget vibrating toys, too! The OhMiBod Lumen and B-Vibe’s rimming plugs are great choices.

Don’t Feel Any Pressure to Try Anal If You Don’t Want To (and Don’t Pressure Your Partner)

Pressure, whether self-imposed or placed upon you by someone else, is one of the ultimate libido killers. It also erodes consent, since a person who is being pressured may not feel able to say yes or no to an activity freely. Never make the mistake of pressuring either yourself or your partner into anal sex.

If you’d like to have anal sex with your partner, raise it and see how they feel about it. They may say no, in which case you need to respect that. You might decide to explore on your own to scratch that itch, using anal toys such as butt plugs (vibrating or not), dildos, anal beads, or butt strokers. They might be enthusiastic and all for it. Or they might be open to it but nervous or hesitant. Wherever they are, meet them there with love and acceptance.

Treat yourself in the same way. You don’t need to feel any pressure to have anal sex for any reason. Some people feel pressured because a partner really wants to try anal, because they worry they will be seen as prudish or uptight if they don’t, or because they think it is a “standard” part of their sexual orientation (fun fact: according to a 2011 survey of men who have sex with men, less than 40% reported engaging in anal sex with their last sexual partner. Many never do it at all.)

For any kind of sexual exploration, a safe and pressure-free environment is vital as a base from which to explore.

Neglecting Sexual Health During Anal Sex Can Be a Risky Mistake

Like all kinds of sex, anal sex carries a risk of passing on a sexually transmitted infection (STI.) Current data also indicates that it is a higher risk activity than vaginal, oral, toy, or hand sex. If you want to try anal sex, you must be able to have an honest conversation about sexual health.

The best ways to keep yourself and your partner safe are to get tested regularly, negotiate your safer sex boundaries clearly, and use a condom for penetrative anal sex. Don’t forget that rimming, like any other forms of oral sex, can carry an STI risk. Depending on your safer sex boundaries, you may wish to use a dam (or cut up condom) for rimming.

Hand sex is low risk for STI transmission, but it is still possible. Being diligent with hand washing, and using gloves if you like, can lower the risk further (and using gloves is essential if you have any open cuts on your hands.)

Anal sex with hands can also facilitate a transfer of bacteria even if you are both/all STI-negative. If you’re switching between anal and genital stimulation with hands, change gloves or wash your hands in between. Even a freshly washed butt can transmit bacteria that can cause urinary tract infections and other complications, particularly for people with vaginas.

For the same reasons, never make the mistake of going from anal to vaginal penetration with the same penis or dildo without having a thorough wash or sterilising the toy in between.

Don’t Stress If It’s Not For You

Like anything else, anal sex isn’t for everyone. You might reflect and decide that you have no interest in trying it, now or possibly ever. That’s cool! You might try anal and realise you don’t like it or want to do it again. That’s fine, too! You’ve learned valuable information about yourself! If you do want to go ahead and try it, avoiding these common anal mistakes will give you the best chance of having a good experience.

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