Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #21: Sexy Snap Position Cards

Wow, can you believe it’s day 21 already? We’re almost finished with this year’s series of reviews featuring Lovehoney and Womanizer’s Sex Toy Advent Calendar. You can read all the posts here. And don’t forget to use my affiliate links if you decide to make a purchase of this or any other Lovehoney product!

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 21: Sexy Snap Position Cards

sexy snap position cards

Product Info

A set of cards featuring various sex positions, plus instructions for two different games to play with them.

Pros

  • Quite inclusive; many of the positions will work for either vaginal or anal sex with their a bio cock or a strap-on.
  • Fun, playful and non-threatening way to try out new positions.
  • Reminds me of this scene from The Bold Type where Jane, Kat and Sutton test out one of Sage’s sex positions to “verify it’s physically possible.” I’m always happy to be reminded of my favourite show

Cons

  • Some of them require ridiculous core strength, upper body strength, or just indestructible furniture to pull off

Verdict

To be honest, my approach to penetrative sex has typically been “find two or three positions that work and just rotate them depending on mood and energy levels.” I imagine this is fairly normal, especially in long-term sexual relationships. If you’d like to try something new, this game will give you some inspiration. Just don’t be put off by the fact that some of these positions are not going to be physically possible for everyone.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #16: Body Massager

It’s the time of year where I get a Sex Toy Advent Calendar (this year, Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 couples’ calendar) and review the items behind each door. Check out the whole series here, and please support the blog by using my affiliate links if you decide to make a purchase.

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 16: Body Massager

Plastic body massager

Product Info

A purple (with gold glitter) plastic body massager shaped like a five-pointed star. It measures 6″ in total length and each point is approximately 2″ in length.

Pros

  • Very light
  • Ergonomic design makes it comfortable to hold
  • A great way to give massages without tiring your hands or wrists (particularly good for those who experience pain in those areas)
  • Versatile: use all five points at once, or one at a time for a more focused sensation
  • Feels AMAZING. I keep reaching for mine to get the knots out of my back after spending too long working on my computer

Cons

  • None – I actually really love this one.

Verdict

If you like the kind of deep tissue massage that sort of hurts a little bit but also feels really good, you’re going to love this one. Massage can be a great way in to sex, or a wonderful and sensual activity by itself. Combine this with the massage oil from day 12 if you like!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #12: Vanilla Massage Oil

We’re half way through already! That’s right, it’s Day 12 of my review series of Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 Sex Toy Advent Calendar . Check out all the reviews here. And again, if you decide to buy this or anything else from Lovehoney, using my affiliate links sends me a small commission at no additional cost to you!

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 12: Vanilla Massage Oil

Lovehoney vanilla massage oil

Product Info

A small (30ml) bottle of vanilla-scented massage oil. It contains the same 4 ingredients as in last year’s calendar, which I discussed in detail in that review.

Pros

  • Distinctive and pleasant vanilla smell
  • Nice sensory properties – glides on smoothly and doesn’t leave skin feeling greasy

Cons

  • Dries out quickly so needs reapplying often
  • May be unsuitable for those with fragrance allergies/sensitivities

Verdict

This is a perfectly nice massage oil with a distinctive (but not overpowering) scent. It’s pleasant to use and left my skin feeling soft and healthy. Massage can be a fun precursor to sex or a lovely activity in its own right. If you enjoy using it, you can grab a bottle of Lovehoney’s Oh! Vanilla Massage Oil for £5.99 when this one runs out

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #8: Sandalwood Scented Candle

Welcome back to my day by day unboxing and review of Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 Sex Toy Advent Calendar . If you’ve just arrived, check out the full series here. If you decide to make a purchase of this or any other Lovehoney product, I’d really appreciate you using my affiliate links. It helps to keep the blog going!

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 8: Sandalwood Scented Candle

Sandalwood scented candle from Lovehoney

Product Info

A small (40g) sandalwood-scented candle in a little gold and black tin.

Pros

  • Lovely, earthy sandalwood scent – ideal for setting the mood for a romantic night in

Cons

  • Not suitable for wax play
  • May be unsuitable for those with fragrance sensitivities as the scent is quite strong when lit

Verdict

It’s a nice extra if you’re someone who likes to light candles during sex (or just enjoys using scented candles to make your space smell nice.

Unlike last year’s candle, I don’t feel at all confident suggesting that this one is suitable for wax play. Its melting point is not clear and the addition of scents can sometimes make candles burn much hotter so, since it is not specifically stated as a wax play-safe candle, I wouldn’t take the risk. Choose a wax play candle or massage candle if you want to apply the wax to your skin.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #4: Mint Orgasm Balm

It’s the time of year where I bring you a day-by-day unboxing of one of Lovehoney’s adult advent calendars, and this year it’s the Lovehoney x Womanizer Couple’s Sex Toy Advent Calendar. If you’re just joining us now, check out the full series here and please consider using my affiliate links if you decide to make a purchase.

On with Day 4…

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 4: Mint Orgasm Balm

Mint orgasm balm for Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 review

This product, very similar to Lovehoney’s Bliss Orgasm Balm (a surprising winner and a fave I return to again and again) is designed to be applied to external erogenous zones such as the clit and nipples. The menthol provides a cooling, tingling sensation that brings additional bloodflow to the area and increases sensitivity.

Product Info

  • Packaging: A small gold tin with black detailing
  • Body-safe? Yes, as long as you’re not allergic/sensitive to any of the ingredients
  • Vegan? Unfortunately not, as it contains beeswax
  • Safe for use in water: Yes
  • Clean-up: You’ll need to use plenty of soap and warm water as this is an oil-based product

Pros

  • Really does enhance pleasure – the extra sensitivity is glorious
  • Great for an all-day tease or kinky edging/orgasm control games.
  • A little goes a long way

Cons

  • Oily consistency makes clean-up a little annoying
  • Strong minty scent can linger even after washing

Verdict

Having tried variations on this product previously (including in last year’s calendar), I’m not at all surprised to say that today’s item is a hit. I really love this stuff.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

[Better Sex Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Part 2

As a quick reminder, Slow Sex is a range of lubes, gels, and other “better sex” products by Bijoux Indiscrets. They are beautifully packaged in stylish boxes and include zero gendered terminology on either the packaging or the website. With the exception of the oral sex strips, they’re all scented with coconut.

Collection of Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex products

If you missed part 1 of my review of several items from the Slow Sex range, check it out! Otherwise, I’m so glad you’re back for part 2! Let’s go.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm

I was highly sceptical about the Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, as was Mr CK. But we kept an open mind and decided to give it a fair chance. It comes in a 10ml tube and I was expecting a liquid or thin gel, but it’s really more of a thick paste. I had to massage it between my fingers to get it to melt enough to use.

The packaging suggests applying Oral Sex Balm to your lips right before giving a blow job, or applying it directly to the penis. To get the full effect, we did both. I’m not sure most people would feel much if you only did the former.

First, the good: it definitely had an effect! My partner described it as a cooling sensation, which is likely caused by the menthol it contains. When you’re doing oral sex, the contrast between this cooling and the warmth of a mouth can be very interesting. He also reported that it did increase sensitivity slightly, and that it felt like sensation continued after the point of orgasm. So that was cool! It’s reasonably easy to wash off with warm water and soap.

Then the less-good: Since this is an oil-based product, it’s not suitable for use with any latex barriers. And given that I wouldn’t want several of the ingredients in my vagina, it also means it’s not really possible to go from oral to vaginal sex without cleaning up in between. I really dislike the sensation of anything oily or sticky on my hands, so I had to wipe this off with a tissue immediately after applying it.

Also worth noting: the coconutty/minty smell and taste is VERY potent. It’s certainly not unpleasant but if, like me, you like to experience the scent and taste of your partner’s body, this is definitely going to mask that.

Overall, a mixed experience but definitely more positive than we were expecting.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm retails for €14.95.

Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel

Slow Sex massage gel

The Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel comes in an attractive glass bottle. With 50ml in the bottle, it definitely feels like one of the more substantial Slow Sex products. This oil-based gel is designed for all-over massage.

The packaging says you can use it “anywhere and everywhere” and the website describes it as genital-compatible, so if your massage turns erotic you’re good to go. Again, I’d recommend that you keep it external only. This massage gel is also suitable for use in water and is compatible with silicone sex toys and latex barriers.

This is probably my favourite product in the entire Slow Sex range. It is slick without being sticky, and does not leave any nasty residue behind. As a bonus, it leaves my skin feeling lovely and moisturised (and coconut scented!) It also lasts ages, as a little bit goes a long way once it’s on the skin.

I also love that it comes in a pump bottle, which is much more user-friendly and less spillage-prone than the bottles massage oils usually come in.

Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel retails for €19.95.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips

Bijoux Indiscrets oral sex strips

If you’re asking “what on earth is an oral sex strip?”, well so was I! Turns out they’re little paper-thin minty strips that are designed to go on your tongue and then melt while you’re performing oral sex. Like the Oral Sex Balm, they have a strong minty flavour (spearmint oil is one of the main ingredients.) They taste like something you’d use to brush your teeth or freshen your breath.

The sensation is… interesting. Much like the Oral Sex Balm, the main appeal is that they provide a contrast between the cooling sensation and the warmth of a mouth. However, they melt very quickly so the intense effect only lasts for maybe a minute or so. You do get some of the effect for a while afterwards as the mint lingers on your body, but you only get maybe a maximum of 5 minutes out of each strip.

They were fine, but I wasn’t blown away. I did find that they heightened sensitivity somewhat, but not to such an extent that they can make or break the experience. And to be honest, I’m going to repeat something I said above – if I’m going down on a lover, I want to taste them, not a mouthful of mint.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips retail for €4.95 for 7.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these products to test in exchange for an honest review.

[Better Sex Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Part 1

“No fiction, no acting, no judgements, no comparisons, no fear, no guilt nor shame” – so begins the Bijoux Indiscrets “Slow Sex” manifesto, which adorns the packaging of each product in the Slow Sex range of better sex products. And it’s a message I can get behind.

Of course, sex is complicated. Fear, judgement and shame are very real for too many of us. I experience them all the time, even (especially?) as someone who makes a living talking openly about sex on the internet. And it’s going to take far more than a fun hashtag or a range of products to fully tackle the deep, systemic issues that allow sexual shame to run rampant.

Even so, in a world where so many companies (even purportedly sex-positive companies) profit from shame and stigma, I’m glad to see an adult retailer encouraging people to move away from these destructive ideas and towards more authentic pleasure.

I received a selection of items from the Slow Sex range to try out. So I can give each product the focus it deserves, I’m going to tackle these mini reviews in two posts.

Slow Sex Range: General Impressions

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex banner

I received 5 full-size Slow Sex products, plus a couple of sample sizes. Each full-size item comes nicely presented in cardboard packaging (points for minimising single-use plastic!) The packaging is beautifully designed, featuring artistic close-ups of body parts (mouths, fingers, nipples) and sometimes floral motifs.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex boxes

The Slow Sex range also doesn’t use any gendered marketing! Each product is described by referencing body parts and sex acts, without ascribing gender to them. It sounds like a small thing, but simply writing “the clitoris” instead of “her clitoris”, or “use it on your partner” rather than “use it on your man”, makes sexuality product marketing so much more inclusive. Other retailers, take note!

With the exception of the oral sex strips, all the Slow Sex products I tried have a strong and distinctive coconut aroma. I enjoy the smell and taste of coconut, so this was fine. But if you don’t, it’s something to be aware of as the scent is pretty noticeable and does tend to hang around after you’ve finished playing!

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex clit balm

The Slow Sex product I was most excited to try was the clitoral balm, so naturally that’s where I went first.

The Slow Sex Clitoral Balm comes in a little 10ml tube. Since you really only need a little bit to get the effect, a small tube will last you a while.

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm contains a pretty long list of ingredients, so check it carefully if you’re allergic or sensitive to anything. There’s nothing in the ingredients that immediately strikes me as problematic (e.g. parabens). I did some Googling of the ingredients I wasn’t familiar with, and found nothing concerning. It does contain glycerin, but for an external-only product that you use in tiny amounts, that won’t be a problem for most people.

Honestly, I was underwhelmed by the clitoral balm. I really wanted to love it, especially as I’ve tried and loved various similar products in the past, but it just didn’t do much for me. I got a slight warming sensation, which was pleasant enough, but it didn’t really enhance sensitivity or give me any noticeable increase in pleasure. If you enjoy warming lubes, this is a slight step up from that, and you might enjoy it.

I’ll probably finish this tube, but I’m unlikely to buy it again.

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm retails for €16.95. According to Bijoux, it’s compatible with all toy types and with latex barriers.

Slow Sex Finger Play Gel

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex finger play gel

The Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is basically a water-based lube designed for external use, particularly for fingering or hand-jobs. It contains just a few ingredients, of which the main ones are glycerin, water, and aloe vera leaf juice. Given the high glycerin concentration, don’t use this one inside your vagina, as this can cause yeast infections.

The Finger Play Gel is a lovely, thick lubricant. It lasts well, and a little goes a long way. Its thick texture and slipperiness make it perfect for hand sex. Due to the glycerin, it does feel a bit sticky after a while, but it’s easy to clean up with warm water and soap. After use, my skin felt soft and moisturised, probably thanks to the aloe. It has a pleasant, subtly sweet taste.

Slow Sex Finger Play Gel retails for €16.95. With just 30ml in a tube, it’s pretty pricey, but it should last you a while. Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is condom-compatible and suitable to use with all toy materials.

Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex nipple play gel

The Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel comes in a little 10ml glass tube with a roller ball applicator. Simply apply a little to your nipples, and then play as you normally would. The gel gives a subtle cooling, tingling sensation.

I found that the Nipple Play Gel slightly heightened sensitivity. When I applied it then went about my day, it made me more aware of my nipples – and particularly the feel of them against my clothing – than I’d normally be. Potentially fun if you want to heighten your arousal throughout the day. I found that one application lasted about an hour.

It also increases sensitivity if you’re doing nipple play with hands, toys, or clamps. But this stuff really comes into its own when combined with oral nipple stimulation. The cool gel combined with a warm mouth makes everything feel much more intense. And since the gel has a sweet taste, it’s not unpleasant for the giver, either! (Assuming they like coconut.)

The Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel is water-based and does not contain any ingredients that are toxic or problematic for topical use. It’s easy to wash off when you’re done and leaves a gentle coconutty smell on the skin.

Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel retails for €16.95.

Some interesting and fun products so far! Stay tuned for part 2 coming next week.

[Review] Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” Sex Toy Advent Calendar

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

We made it! I reviewed every single item in the Lovehoney Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar over the last 24 days. Before I call it a wrap on this project, I wanted to provide a final review where I share my thoughts on the set as a whole.

Lovehoney Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar
Image: Lovehoney

Who is the target market?

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar is aimed at couples, and specifically assumes a cisgender, heterosexual couple. I’m not a fan of gendered language or assumptions in sex toy marketing, since body parts don’t have inherent genders and products certainly don’t.

In the future, I’d like to see these calendars marketed according to what body parts they work with, rather than gendering things, which can be alienating for trans and non-binary people. I’d also like to see versions available for couples made up of two vulva-owners or two penis-owners.

Gendering aside, this set is very clearly designed to provide sex toys for beginners. Many of the items are super basic, which is mostly fine for its intended purpose.

What’s inside?

In case you’ve forgotten, here’s a rundown of what you’ll find in your Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar:

A mixed bag, I’m sure you’ll agree. And that’s definitely a plus. This set is aimed at people who are new to exploring sex toys and different ways to connect intimately, so offering lots of different options and ideas is a great thing.

Best and worst of

The quality of the items in this set is wildly variable. There are a few things that are genuinely great quality and will probably last many years, like the silicone toys. A few that are fine for a use or two, but won’t last long, like the strokers. Some that are fine for complete beginners but “meh” for anyone with an iota of experience, like the kink gear. And the odd one that made me go “aaaaaahhhhh, no!”

So here’s my best and worst of roundup:

Best item: This is easy – definitely the Womanizer Classic from Day #24, a genuinely excellent clitoral suction toy that retails for £119.99 by itself.

Honourable mention: The bullet vibe from Day #1. Reasonable power, versatile (it pairs well with many of the other items in this set), and rechargeable.

Worst item: That damn penis sleeve from Day #22. Unsafe, unsanitary, and just overall not something I would ever recommend anyone puts near their genitals.

Honourable mention: The wrist ties from Day #13. Not only are they glorified basic satin ribbons, they also work in a way that is very dubiously safe for any but the lightest bondage.

So is it worth it?

Whether or not this kit is worth the money very much depends on what you want to get out of it. If you’re an experienced player looking to expand your sex toy collection, skip it and get one or two really good quality toys instead (might I suggest a Doxy or a We-Vibe Tango?)

If you and your partner are brand new to toys and looking to explore some basic things together, you might get a lot out of this set. Despite the variable quality, it offers possibilities and a kind of permission to try things out. And if something doesn’t work for you? No big deal, there are 23 other things to try.

If you’re specifically after a Womanizer Classic and think you might enjoy a few of the other items too, the Best Sex of Your Life set is a no-brainer. The Womanizer costs literally the same as this entire set, so you might as well snag a bargain.

You do get £370+ worth of products for £120 (and can get a further 10% off with my code “coffkink10”). So if you think there are at least a few things you’ll enjoy, it’s a good deal.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #23: Sex Position Cards

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

It’s the penultimate day of my foray into the Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar. After yesterday’s “aaaaahhhhh”-inducing offering, I was hoping that Day 23 might show a little more promise.

Let’s open it up and find out.

Door #23: Sex Position Cards

Door #23 contains a set of sex position cards. There are 26 cards in total, with positions ranked “easy”, “medium”, or “difficult”. I think those rankings might be largely subjective, as all our bodies have their own strengths and weaknesses. But okay, I’ll run with it.

The deck begins with a card offering some safety tips. They’re pretty 101-level, which makes sense since this set is really aimed at beginners, but they’re solid: never leave a bound person alone, don’t tie someone too tightly, stop if something hurts, use a safeword, agree boundaries before you play. Cool. That’s basically the Safety & Consent 101 I’d want to give a complete beginner.

Sex position cards safety and instructions

Each position has a name, many of which are punny or otherwise amusing. (The Thigh’s The Limit, Clitar Hero, and Deep G Diving are a few highlights). Each card contains a picture of how to do the position, and a short description of why it’s fun or how to make it hotter. You also get a handy list of which types of stimulation the position is best for (clitoral, G-spot, penis, balls, etc.) and suggested toys or implements to use.

Sex position cards with easy sex positions
Sex position cards with medium difficulty sex position ideas
Sex position cards with difficult sex positions ideas

I have not, of course, tried every single position on these cards. Some of them are fairly basic positions with quirky names (“The Elevator” is just someone on their knees giving their partner oral sex) while others are somewhere between “why?” and “likely to be physiologically impossible unless one of you is a size four and the other is a gym-bunny.” But for gaining ideas and inspiration, they’re perfectly fine.

For some reason, I’m now thinking about this scene from The Bold Type where Jane, Kat and Sutton test out one of Sage’s sex positions to “verify it’s physically possible.”

The Best Sex of Your Life adult advent calendar is a limited-edition product and retails for £120. Use my affiliate code “coffkink10” at checkout to get 10% off this or any other Lovehoney order! If you’re inspired to try more creative positions, the Position of the Week sex position cards retail for £9.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #21: Massager

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

Well, we’ve reached the end of week three in my quest to review every item in the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” advent calendar. It’s been a mixed bag, with some hits and a few misses… so what’s behind Door #21?

Door #21: Massager

Lovehoney massager from sex toy advent calendar

The 21st door contains a star-shaped plastic massager, presumably designed to be used with the massage oil from two days ago (the ordering here is a little weird. I’d have put them on consecutive days, but okay). It’s red with silver glitter, tying in with the festive theme of this whole set.

The massager measures 6″ across from point to opposite point, and each arm is around 2″ in length. It’s very light, and the shape makes it easy and comfortable to hold. If you enjoy giving massages but find that your hands or wrists get tired, a massager like this can help. You can use all five points at once for an all-over massage, or tilt it and use one end to focus on a smaller area.

This one is a surprising winner for me. It’s sitting on my desk at the moment and I’ve found myself reaching for it to get the knots out of my temperamental neck and shoulders and relieve my I-spend-too-long-sitting-at-a-computer upper back pain. The rigidity allows you to get deeply into those sore muscles. With this thing, I can get the kind of deep tissue massage that is sort of painful but in a really good way.

Lovehoney massager for couples review

Exchanging massages can be a lovely way to connect physically with your partner, whether or not they lead to sex. Massage can also be a great way to show love to someone whose love language is physical touch.

The Best Sex of Your Life advent calendar retails for £120 and contains around £370 worth of products. You can get 10% off this product or any other Lovehoney order if you use my code “coffkink10” at checkout.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!