[Toy Review] Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Heating Telescopic & Squirming Dildo

Happy new year, my friends! I hope you’ve had a relaxing holiday season and new year, no matter what you celebrate or don’t. I’m back at work now, which means it’s time to start ploughing through my review queue.

First up, the Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Heating Telescopic & Squirming Dildo, which was kindly sent to me recently. Considering the absolute mouthful of its full name, I’m gonna just call it the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo from here on out. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Dildo

This realistic dildo measures 8.6″ in total length (6.3″ insertable) and offers a thrusting extension of an additional 1.5″. It measures 1.59″ in diameter at the widest point.

The “6-in-1” refers to its 6 key features: thrusting, heating, vibrating, swinging, rotating, and remote-controllability. There’s also a suction cup and large “balls” base, making it harness-compatible if you like.

Lezovibes thrusting dildo heating dildo

The Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo is made of body-safe and non-porous silicone and passes a flame-test. The silicone is extremely matte, so don’t forget to add plenty of water-based lube particularly if you’re using the thrusting function.

This toy is IPX6 waterproof. This means it can withstand jets of water but is not submersible. In other words, clean it under the tap but don’t take it in the bath with you. The remote control is not waterproof.

The Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo is rechargeable via the included USB cable, and a full charge took around 2 hours and gives up to 60 minutes of runtime depending on the settings you’re using.

Things I Like About This Toy

Let’s start with the good. Retailing at a middle-of-the-road $69.99, the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo does have several positive points to recommend it.

Lezovibes thrusting dildo in my hand

  • It does a lot of different things! If you’re newer to toys or just want to get something quite versatile, then a toy with lots of different features is a great choice for you. As mentioned, this thrusting dildo also vibrates, rotates, swings, and heats up. Pretty impressive array of options, there!
  • The outer layer of silicone is squishy and pliable, and the toy has a firm core. This gives a kind of “dual density” effect that more realistically mimics a bio-cock.
  • Speaking of realism, the lifelike aesthetic is great if you like that sort of thing, from the veined shaft to the textured balls and foreskin. To be entirely honest I don’t particularly like that kind of thing, personally. Hyper-realism isn’t really my vibe. However, it appeals to a lot of people and I’m continually getting asked for recommendations for realistic toys.
  • The thrusting function feels great in use. (The swinging function is really just a slight variation on the thrusting and I couldn’t feel much difference between them.)
  • The suction cup is strong and holds the toy firm on a surface, even when the various functions are switched on.
  • The heating function! A sex toy that warms up in use is one of those things you never knew you needed until you try it. I started feeling the warmth around 30 seconds after I switched the heating function on. It heats to 42°C.
  • It has ten different vibrating modes, and the motor is positioned so that the vibrations are concentrated in the head of the toy. For most users, that’s gonna be where you want them.
  • As it has a large base (thanks to the balls and suction cup), this toy is both vaginal-safe and anal-safe.
  • The rigidity makes it great for strap-on sex.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There were also a few issues that let this toy down. They include:

  • The controls are needlessly complicated and confusing. I actually had to email the company because I COULD NOT get mine to work at all and I was convinced I had a dud one for a while. It did eventually start working, but the controls are still far more confusing than they need to be.
  • The button in the base is really, really hard to push in a way that’s extremely annoying. I literally have to use the thumbs of both hands, one on top of the other, to get it going or switch it off.
  • Like all thrusting toys, it makes a high-pitched mechanical whining noise in use. I can’t hold this against Lezovibes in particular, though – even at the premium end of the market, the technology just isn’t there yet to make silent thrusting toys.
  • The vibrations are weak and buzzy.
  • I can’t feel the rotating function at all so I’m not really sure what the point of this is.
  • The remote control’s responsiveness is variable. It responds about 75% of the time in my experience, but that’s a high enough failure rate to be intensely annoying.
  • It’s a little too straight for me. I would have preferred it to have a little more curve and flex.

Verdict

Lezovibes thrusting dildo suction cup dildo attached to black shower tiles

With the acknowledgement that realistic dildos aren’t really my thing (but may well be yours,) I still found quite a few things to like in the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo. Overall, it’s a mixed bag. Though the many different functions are a good way to explore new sensations, I think this toy is trying to do too many things. It’s better to do fewer things and do them really well than to try to cram every feature under the sun into a single toy.

More than anything, though, please sort out those controls. It’s so needlessly complicated to use and that means people will just end up not using a bunch of the functionalities that make up its main selling points.

Thanks to Lezovibes for sponsoring this review! All views, as ever, are mine.

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Heart Throb Heart Massager

I’m all about combining the romantic with the sexy (just ask my partners!) So when I received Lovehoney’s 2023 Christmas gift guide, I was immediately drawn to the “Heart Throb” heart massager.

But how did it fare in use and did it win my heart?

Lovehoney “Heart Throb” Heart Massager

The Lovehoney Heart Throb is a heart-shaped vibrator measuring a tiny 3″ in length (that’s small enough to fit into the palm of your hand!) It has indented curve detailing on both sides, making it look like the heart insignia from Lovehoney’s branding.

Lovehoney Heart Throb red heart massager and its box

The Heart Throb is rechargeable via the included cable, and 1 hour of charging will get you around an hour of runtime. It’s waterproof (submersible) and features a handy travel lock.

The outside of the toy is 100% body-safe silicone in a rich shade of red.

The Heart Throb retails for £29.99 ($34.99 US.)

The Heart Throb Vibrator In Use: Pros & Cons

First, let’s talk about what I liked about this toy.

  • It’s cute af. And did I mention that it’s cute?
  • The body of the toy is firm with only the slightest bit of “squish,” making it easy to get plenty of pressure.
  • Lovely soft silicone.
  • Small enough to hold in your palm and slide between bodies during partnered sex, if you want to.
  • The single button is sensibly located (in the centre at the top) and easy to press.
  • It’s super light and easy to hold.
  • The shape means that you can get broader stimulation by holding it flat against your body, more pinpoint stimulation by using the tip, or something in between by using the side. Lots of options!
Lovehoney Heart Throb red heart massager end-on, showing the button

That’s quite a lot of good points, no? Now onto what I didn’t like:

  • There are 10 settings – 3 constant vibration speeds and 7 patterns – but only one button. Yup, it’s that annoying “you have to scroll allllll the way through if you want to change down” problem again.
  • The thick silicone dampens the vibrations a lot.
  • The vibrations are weak and buzzy. Unfortunately this is literally the number one thing I look for in a vibrator – a decent and rumbly motor – so it’s a pretty unforgiveable flaw.

This toy started out so promising. It’s just a shame that it is let down by having such a crappy motor. I wanted to love it, but it totally failed to make me cum (and, at this level of power, I can’t imagine it ever would.) For me, it’s not even great for a warm-up because the buzziness is more likely to put my clit to sleep than wake it up!

Verdict

It’s super adorable, but as a vibrator the Heart Throb heart massager is only mediocre.

Lovehoney Heart Throb red heart massager

It’s a cute and sexy stocking stuffer for someone who likes gentler vibrations. If you’re more into power and rumbles, though, skip it.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Heart Throb Heart Massager to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On & Kegelator Kegel Exerciser

Arosum, who both sponsored this double review and recently came on board as a site sponsor, is a rare beast in this industry: a sex toy retailer that does not use gendered language in its marketing. You won’t find Arosum toys grouped into limiting and cissexist categories such as “for women” and “for men.” Instead, toys are categorised by type and body part.

This is such an easy change to make if you want to make your sex toy marketing more inclusive, and yet so many retailers fail.

Arosum kindly send me the Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On and the Kegelator Vibrating Kegel Balls to review.

Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On

Arosum Vibratwin strapless strap-on vibrator

Strapless strap-ons are a divisive topic in the sex toy space. Some love them and others hate them. I’ve always been quite indifferent. I had a mediocre experience with one in my twenties, and haven’t really bothered again since. So I was curious to see how I’d get on with the Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On.

Fun fact, as I discovered when doing Google keyword research for this post: Vibratwin is also the name of a dual-action floor cleaning machine!

Vibratwin strapless strap-on details

The Vibratwin is a classic strapless strap-on vibrator, with one arm to go inside the wearer and then a protruding arm for them to fuck their partner with. The main shaft measures 5.35″ in length and 1.57″ in diameter at the widest point, and the shaft for the wearer measures 5.51″ in insertable length (but is very curved) and 1.26″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Vibratwin is made of body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of green. In the box you’ll also find a remote control and a storage bag (though, weirdly, the bag isn’t really big enough for the toy unless you squish it in at a weird angle!)

The Vibratwin is IPX7 waterproof and rechargeable. The battery life – around 45 minutes on a full charge – isn’t great, but is anyone really doing penetrative sex for longer than 45 minutes at a time anyway?

In use: what I liked

Arosum Vibratwin strapless strap-on vibrator

I really like the curved shape of the wearer’s shaft on the Vibratwin, for two reasons:

  1. It helps the toy to actually stay inside me
  2. It presses very pleasurably against my G-spot

Other things I like about this toy:

  • The “come hither” motion of the main shaft. It feels great and it means that, if you want to have strap-on sex without a lot of thrusting, you can just slide the shaft inside your partner and let the toy do the hard work. There are 3 different speeds.
  • The versatility. You can control the come-hither motion and the vibrations separately. Or, if you’re not in the mood for either, just leave them switched off.
  • It takes much less set-up than my regular strap-on, which I love but which always requires several minutes of futzing with straps and rings before it’s ready to go.
  • The remote control is a really nice addition, making it easy to control the toy in use with a partner. It’s fast and responsive.
  • There’s no reason you can’t also use it as a solo toy, if you want.
  • The silicone is really soft and smooth.

Anything I don’t like?

  • The inevitable squeaky whine that accompanies the “come hither” motion. This isn’t really Arosum’s fault, it’s probably almost impossible to make a toy that does this motion without it, but I still hate it.
  • The ridges on the main shaft. These will work really well for some people but for me, that level of texturing is more likely to be painful than pleasurable. As such, I think I’d prefer to use this toy when I’m Topping (assuming my partner enjoys that texture) rather than bottoming.
  • The vibrations are quite weak and buzzy. I don’t really like internal vibrations anyway, though, so I’ll just keep them turned off when using this toy in the future.

Verdict

Surprisingly great! I really like this one and will definitely use it again.

The Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On retails for $99.

Arosum Kegelator Vibrating Kegel Balls

Arosum Kegelator vibrating kegel exerciser

I’ve written about kegel balls and their purported benefits before. Some proponents claim that they can strengthen the pelvic floor, reduce incontinence, or enhance (or make it easier to have) G-spot orgasms. The actual evidence, though, doesn’t really stack up. The data supporting the bladder control claims is minimal and contradictory, and I could find no evidence (beyond the anecdotal) to support the orgasm claims.

Kegel exercises themselves are good for you, helping to prevent incontinence and other pelvic floor problems. It’s a good idea to do them regularly. But do kegel balls or other exercisers really help? The jury is out on that one.

Due to the lack of evidence to support any health claims, I choose to look at kegel balls and kegel exercises purely as sex toys.

With that in mind, how does the Kegelator stack up as a sex toy?

The Kegelator measures 8.27″ end to end, of which 4.33″ is insertable and the rest is the tail. The insertable portion is 1.54″ wide at the widest point, and 0.79″ at the narrowest point. It’s made of body-safe silicone in a dusky pink shade and is the classic “two connected balls with a long tail” shape.

As well as vibrating, the top part of the Kegelator moves in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the G-spot.

What I liked about the Kegelator

Arosum Kegelator vibrating kegel exerciser

  • The main thing I like about this toy is its shape. The size and slight curve of the head is ideal for seeking out my G-spot and targeting it with precision.
  • The remote is fast, responsive, and allows you to move between the 10 patterns and settings in either direction.
  • It’s comfortable enough to wear for quite a while, if you want to.
  • The silicone is silky soft.

Anything I didn’t like?

  • That whining noise again!
  • The fact that you can’t control the vibrations and come hither motion separately. I don’t like internal vibrations and would really like to turn them off while still using the other function!
  • 60 minutes battery life isn’t great, especially for something you might theoretically want to wear for longer periods.
  • The vibrations are weak and buzzy.

Verdict

Unlike the Vibratwin, I think the Kegelator is just okay. It’s really let down by the lack of dual controls, and the buzzy vibrations will be a downside for anyone looking for powerful internal vibes.

The Kegelator Kegel Exerciser retails for $79.

Thanks to Arosum for sponsoring this review. Sponsors help to keep the site going! All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] Four BestVibe Tongue Vibrators

Tongue vibrators are having a moment in a big way. In our ongoing quest to find a sex toy that feels like receiving cunnilingus (more on that below), companies are coming up with more and more interesting – and occasionally outlandish – variations on the tongue vibrator theme.

BestVibe, who have kindly sponsored a series of posts, have a large array of tongue vibrators in their catalogue. They sent me four to try out, compare and contrast, and ultimately judge for which one is my favourite.

Let’s go.

Selection of BestVibe tongue vibrators in their boxes

A Note on My Review Criteria

I’ve said this before and I’ll repeat it here: there is absolutely no such thing as a toy that genuinely feels like receiving cunnilingus from a partner. (I wish there was, because I would pay serious cash moneys for that product!) It just does not exist. Sex toy technology is not there yet.

Therefore, I will NOT be grading these toys on the extent to which they mimic cunnilingus. That is an unfair and currently impossible standard. Instead, I will grade them on the basis of factors such as:

  • Materials
  • Design and aesthetic
  • Functionality
  • Feel
  • Power
  • Volume
  • Effectiveness (e.g. “did it get me off?”)

I’ll share the pros and cons of each product and give it a score out of 10.

Tongue Vibrator #1: “Rose Low Noise 5 Thrusting & Vibrating 7 Tongue Licking Vibrator” ($39.44)

BestVibe rose vibrator tongue sex toy

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone,
  • It looks like a rose, which is kind of cute.
  • Double-ended toy: features both a tongue for clitoral stimulation and a thrusting shaft for G-spot play.
  • You can use both the features at the same time (great for sharing, I guess, though I can’t quite picture how the physics of that would work in practice) or separately (far more practical.)

Cons

  • The tongue is far too rigid. Even on the lowest setting, it just HURTS. It’s a hard pointy thing flicking back and forth against your clit, and it’s exactly as unpleasurable as that sounds.
  • The thrusting mechanism only moves about an inch and its movement is severely hampered by my vaginal walls when it’s actually inside me.
  • The claim of “low noise” is hilariously untrue. It has the typical whining sound of any thrusting toy and the tongue part makes a distracting sort of buzz/rattle.

Verdict

Bad. 2/10.

Tongue Vibrator #2: Fiona Rose Clit Licking & Vibrating Stimulator Multifunctional Vibrator ($39.99)

BestVibe double ended vibrator rose tongue sex toy

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone.
  • The softer, more flexible tongue actually feels amazing on my clit.
  • The “come hither” motion of the insertable end is excellent for G-spot stimulation.
  • Each end can be controlled separately or used together.
  • The long stem/cord design allows for more flexibility of positioning and more possibilities in using both ends at once if you want to.
  • The flicking tongue end is very quiet when used by itself.

Cons

  • The vibrations are very buzzy.
  • Annoying mechanical whine when the G-spot stimulator is turned on.
  • I’d have preferred fewer patterns and another level or two of continuous “licking.”

Verdict

Surprisingly decent. 6/10.

Tongue Vibrator #3: Beinlove Tongue Lick Rabbit Clitoris Nipple Vibrator ($73.84)

BestVibe rabbit tongue vibrator

Find it here.

Pros

  • The soft, flicking, textured tongue feels fantastic on my clit.
  • Fully waterproof.
  • Comes with two different size suction cups to accommodate different bodies and uses.

Cons

  • Extremely weird and baffling aesthetic. Why does it have a bunny face and ears? How is that necessary? (Have we just inextricably associated rabbits with sex toys now… and can we please stop?)
  • The clear cup part is supposed to provide a seal and stimulate the entire vulva via vacuum suction, but it just… doesn’t. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get a seal. I suspect this might be because I have pubic hair. But if a sex toy relies on the user having no pubic hair in order to use it, then it is a badly designed sex toy.
  • The suction cups don’t attach very well to the main toy. They’re either half falling off, or trapping the tongue so it doesn’t move properly.
  • The noise. Dear god, the whining squeaking noise.
  • The tongue and suction cups, i.e. the parts that actually come into contact with the body, are made of TPE rather than silicone. This is a porous material that will harbour bacteria and degrade over time.

Verdict

Interesting idea, poor execution. 4/10.

Tongue Vibrator #4: Helran 10 Vibrating & 7 Tongue Licking G Spot Stimulator ($79.99)

BestVibe licking tongue vibrator

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone.
  • Steady and consistent licking motion that feels great when combined with plenty of lube. I prefer using the flat side rather than the pointier tip, but your mileage may vary of course.
  • Actually made me cum! The only one of the 4 that did. It was a slow build and I think I’d need to be both very turned on already and quite patient, but it can actually get me there. So that’s nice given that, you know, it’s kinda the entire point of a sex toy.
  • It warms up to 42C in use, which feels really nice.
  • Some of the different pattern settings actually feel good! Knowing how I feel about patterns generally, this was a pleasant surprise.

Cons

  • It’s a giant disembodied tongue. It has VEINS and everything. This toy feels the best of the four by far, but its aesthetic is nightmare fuel.
  • There is absolutely no universe in which this is a G-spot stimulator. You COULD stick it inside yourself if you wanted, I guess, but the angle and type of stimulation is all wrong to do anything to a G-spot.
  • The silicone is very grabby. This means it’s prone to picking up lint and dust and such. It also means you’ll need a LOT of lube to have a good time.
  • Squeaky as fuck.

Verdict

Surprising no-one more than me, this one is actually the winner! A respectable 7/10.

This post was sponsored by BestVibe. My readers can enjoy 20% off all products in their store by using code “coffee” at checkout! All writing and views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Yoyolemon Rabbit Vibrator

I’ve long had a mixed relationship with rabbit vibrators. Over the years I’ve tried some absolute gems, a lot of middle-of-the-road and fine-but-ultimately-forgottable toys, and some total trash. I’ll be honest: I rarely reach for them when I’m masturbating or having sex with a partner.

This is partly because I have an on-again, off-again relationship with vaginal penetration (it’s fine and I enjoy it sometimes, but my clit will always be the key to my heart.) But it’s also because rabbit vibes tend to be so goddamn fiddly to use. By the time I’ve positioned a rabbit exactly right so that it’s stimulating my clit without poking me in the vaginal wall, and then messed around with different settings to get the “gentle on the vag, intense on the clit” combo I need to get off, I’m more likely to be annoyed and bored than turned on.

So while the mood for them strikes occasionally, rabbit vibes are rarely likely to be my first choice.

YoYoLemon Rabbit Vibrator

So Why Are Rabbits So Popular?

Even so, the legend of the rabbit vibrator persists and they’re arguably one of the most enduringly sought-after types of sex toys out there. I think that’s partly because of the ways they’ve been portrayed in popular culture (that Sex and the City scene, anyone?)

I think it’s also partly because they connect to the idea of the “blended orgasm” – an orgasm that’s reached through clitoral and G-spot stimulation simultaneously. Many consider this to be a better type of orgasm than other kinds. I’m cynical about this, to say the least. Firstly, because the experience of sexual pleasure is so intensely personal and unique, I’m not sure we can (or should) meaningfully break orgasms down into discrete “types.” Secondly, even if we can, I’m extremely wary about elevating some types of orgasms over others. Some people climax in that way, and other people don’t.

With All That Said, Let’s Look at the Yoyolemon Rabbit Vibrator

Yoyolemon were kind enough to send me their rabbit vibrator (full title: YoYoLemon Rabbit Vibrator for Women with 9 Thrusting and 9 Vibration Modes for Vagina G Spot and Clitoral Adult Sex Toys. Try saying that five times fast!)

The Yoyolemon Rabbit Vibrator measures 8.4″ in total length and 4.7″ in inserable length. The shaft is a slimline 0.95″ in diameter at the widest point.

YoYoLemon Rabbit Vibrator

This toy is made of body-safe matte silicone in a dark pink shade. The shaft and the underside of the clitoral stimulator both have a ribbed texture. It is IPX7 waterproof, meaning you can immerse it in water safely – ideal for using in the bath or shower. It’s also USB rechargeable and comes with the necessary cable. A full charge takes about 2 hours and gives you around 90 minutes of continuous use.

Yoyolemon Rabbit Vibrator: The Good

First of all, let’s look at what I did like about the Yoyolemon Rabbit Vibrator.

  • The silicone is lovely to the touch – soft and smooth.
  • The shaft is a good shape, with a very gentle curve that’s good for targeted G-spot stimulation without being too pokey or pointy.
  • The texturing on the underside of the clitoral stimulator was nice, providing an additional and different sensation alongside the vibrations.
  • One of the big problems with many rabbit vibrators lies with positioning. Since all bodies are different and there’s a wide variation between vulvas, rabbit toys with both arms in fixed positions are only ever going to work for a small number of users. The Yoyolemon’s rabbit has a super flexible clitoral stimulator, making it easy to position the toy correctly for your body.
  • There are 3 constant vibration speeds and 6 patterns, making 9 settings in all. No matter what you like, there’s probably something in there that will suit you.
  • The user interface is simple, with an on/off button and a settings button. These two buttons are well-placed and easy top press.
  • It is discreetly packaged in a sturdy black box and comes with a drawstring storage bag.
YoYoLemon Rabbit Vibrator

Yoyolemon Rabbit Vibrator: The Not So Good

There were also a few notable downsides to this product, including:

  • Supposedly, the Yoyolemon Rabbit Vibrator has an automatic warming function, heating up the shaft of the toy to 107F (42C, or just above body temperature) for “very realistic satisfaction.” It is supposed to get up to temperature in 3 minutes. Unfortunately, my toy’s heating function did not work at all even when I left it running for a good 15 minutes.
  • That flexible clitoral stimulator? While it’s great for positioning, it’s really a bit too flexible. No sooner have I got it on my clit than it flops away again if I change angles even slightly.
  • The vibrations are not particularly strong and buzzy as fuck. Even on the highest setting and with plenty of warm-up, there’s zero chance this toy will ever make me cum. After ten minutes or so, my clit was so numb I could barely feel anything at all.
  • The toy isn’t particularly loud, but the sound it does make is high-pitched and whiny with an occasional concerning rattling.
YoYoLemon Rabbit Vibrator buttons close-up

  • You can’t control the two motors (clitoral and G-spot) separately. For people like me, who want the aforementioned intense clitoral stimulation alongside gentle (or no) internal vibrations, this is a huge downside and renders the toy pretty much unusable.
  • You can only scroll through the settings one way, meaning a lot of button-pressing if you want to go back to the previous one.

Verdict

The Yoyolemon Rabbit Vibrator retails for £57.99 (or $69.99 US) which I think is really too expensive for what it is: a fairly basic rabbit vibrator. I’m sorry to say that I’d be feeling pretty disappointed if I’d paid that much for this product considering that it’s never going to get me off.

As with all things sex, this is a personal opinion. It might work brilliantly for you and if so, that’s great! Unfortunately it did not do it for me.

Thanks to Yoyolemon for sponsoring this review. This means they paid me to give my unbiased opinion on the toy. All views, as ever, are mine.

[Toy Review] Womanizer OG Pleasure Air G-Spot Stimulator

Every now and then, I will encounter a sex toy that leaves me scratching my head in a “I don’t really know what this is” sort of way. Womanizer’s new OG (the Womanizer OG Pleasure Air G-Spot Stimulator, to give it its full title) is one such product.

I find the concept of this toy confusing, and the execution even more so.

Womanizer OG: The Details

This new toy from Womanizer (purveyers of some of my absolute faves in the clitoral suction toys space) looks like a traditional G-spot vibrator at first glance. It measures 9″ in total length, with a generous curve, and 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point.

Womanizer OG G-spot suction vibrator

The Womanizer OG is made of smooth and body-safe silicone, and available in 3 colours: lilac, aubergine, or dark grey. I received the lilac, and it’s genuinely very pretty. It’s also the exact colour my hair goes when the dye has almost but not entirely faded out, which is pleasing.

This toy is waterproof and rechargeable, with a runtime of about 2 hours on a full charge. The Womanizer OG is also equipped with Smart Silence technology, meaning that the suction function will only switch on when it is in contact with the body. This helps to preserve the battery and is also a useful function if discretion matters to you.

A Suction Toy… For Your G-Spot?

I love clitoral suction toys; I own a lot of them, and use them regularly. I also own a G-spot, and like to have it stimulated sometimes. But the combination of these two things has led to a concept that has me confused: a suction toy for the G-spot? Why?

Womanizer OG suction sex toy

I don’t know about you, but I have never had the desire to have my G-spot sucked. (Side note: is it just me or does “I will suck on your G-spot” sound like something a Fetlife rando who doesn’t actually understand how bodies work would drop into the inbox of an unsuspecting sub?)

Despite my reservations, I was curious. Perhaps I would be truly surprised, awed, and blown away by this new innovation in pleasure technology. Reader, I was not. I lubed the toy up and slid it into place, then spent some time slowly cycling through all of the 12 intensity levels. (Another small complaint: the buttons are small and hard to push.)

Womanizer OG review picture of toy's buttons

The result can best be described as “nothing” followed by “why?”. When I eventually managed to get the suction nozzle positioned over my G-spot, I found the sucking sensation little more than mildly annoying on the lower levels, and distinctly uncomfortable on the higher settings. I like a little “ouch” with my sex sometimes, but I usually want that to be inflicted by a cute Top, not by my vibrator!

Is it Better as a Clitoral Toy?

By this point in this endeavour, I had established that I do not enjoy having my G-spot suctioned. (Sentences I did not expect to write today…)

I do, however, like using suction toys on my clit. So naturally I tried to use the Womanizer OG in that way instead. Unfortunately, it wasn’t too effective there, either. Perhaps due to the shape and size of the nozzle, it was almost impossible to get a decent seal around my clit.

Womanizer OG g-spot sucker nozzle

Pro tip: you’ll want to turn Smart Silence off for this (do so by holding down the + and – buttons at the same time for 3 seconds.) When Smart Silence was on, the poor seal meant that the toy kept switching itself off when I was trying to use it!

It’s also loud in a really annoying way – the sound at the higher levels can best be described as “rattly” – and an ergonomic nightmare when used externally. So no, I do not think I’ll be using this one clitorally again.

What About the Vibration Function?

You can use your Womanizer OG with or without the accompanying vibrations. There are 3 constant vibration speeds, controllable through a single button. This button, like the others, is annoyingly fiddly and hard to press.

The vibrations themselves are lacklustre. They are weak and buzzy, as though they were clearly added as an afterthought. This toy is pitched at the “luxury” end of the market, and there’s really no excuse for shitty motors and buzzy vibrations at this price point.

To give credit where credit is due, the Womanizer OG’s curved shape is excellent. Its flexible shaft also makes it easy to position comfortably. But “it makes an okay G-spot dildo” is not the best thing I expect to be able to say about a £180 toy!

Verdict

This one’s a miss from me. The suction sensation on my G-spot was utterly unenjoyable, and it didn’t fare any better as a clitoral suction toy. Without the suction, it’s just a basic G-spot vibrator (that costs £180!). And it’s a kinda meh, buzzy one at that.

As always, take my review as what it is: one person’s experience. This toy has had a lot of great reviews, so your mileage may vary if you decide to try it.

The Womanizer OG is available from some of my favourite adult retailers including Lovehoney UK*, Lovehoney US*, Shevibe, and of course Womanizer themselves!

[*] Use code “coffkink10” to get 10% off

Thanks to Womanizer for sending me this product to review. All opinions are, as always, my own! Affiliate links appear in this post. If you use them to make a purchase, I make a small commission at no extra cost to you.

[Toy Review] Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

You’ve heard of rabbit vibrators. You’ve probably heard of Satisfyer’s famous Penguin clitoral suction toy. But have you ever seen a whale vibrator before? Well, now you have! Specifically, the Dr Whale vibrator, which I recently received to test and review.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2: Basics

The Dr Whale 2 is a curved vibrator shaped like a little whale. It measures 7 inches in total when stretched out flat (4 inches insertable) and 1.3 inches in diameter at the widest point. It houses two motors, one in the whale’s “body” and one in its tail.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

The Dr Whale 2 is coated in soft and body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of pale blue. It is rechargeable via the included USB cable and you get 120 minutes use out of a full charge. You also get a storage bag for the toy.

Confusingly, the website says the toy is waterproof but the included instruction booklet says NOT to submerge it in water. I’m going to assume that means it’s splashproof only, though I’m not entirely sure. I didn’t want to risk breaking it by submerging it. For a toy of this price point, though, I feel like “waterproof” should come as standard.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

The Dr Whale 2 features an internal heating element that warms up to a comfortable 42C within a couple minutes of being switched on. Most intriguing of all, it is controllable via the Monster Pub app (available free on iOS and Android).

App-Controlled Kegel Exerciser

One of the advertised purposes of the Dr Whale 2 is as a kegel exerciser. Performing kegel exercises regularly can help strengthen your pelvic floor, which some evidence shows has a variety of benefits from better bladder control to stronger orgasms. I delved into some of the science on kegel exercises a long time ago on this blog, and anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that while using internal exercisers like the Dr Whale 2 doesn’t necessarily make the kegel exercises more effective, using one might make you more likely to perform them regularly.

I downloaded the app and the toy connected easily. The connection is good, reliable and steady as long as you have a stable internet connection.

You have to set up an account on the app, which takes a few seconds. It also asks you to select your gender, but only offers “girl” and “boy” (which is weirdly infantilising as well as annoyingly binary.)

The app then asked me to complete a “Q&A For Girls” which consists of a few questions about whether you’re using the app alone or with a lover and whether you want to share it with a partner. It also, however, includes THIS:

I strongly suspect this is just some really, really bad Google Translate but the last thing I want to see in a sex toy app is talk of being “molested”. Gross. It also gives me pause about the app’s security and safety. Is it likely that someone is going to randomly take control of my toy? Because that’s, erm, deeply concerning if so.

Once you’re in, you can choose from a range of pre-set patterns and those created by other users. You can also create your own using the “Gesture” mode, connect with a partner via chat tools such as WeChat or WhatsApp, or make the vibes respond to movement with the “Action/Reaction” mode.

If you go into the “Health” tab at the top of the screen, you’ll find the various kegel exercise section. In this mode, a voice talks you through a range of exercises. The sessions are pretty short, stating at just 3 minutes, so they’re quite accessible. If you need a little extra encouragement to do kegel exercises regularly, you might enjoy being gently talked through it by the narrator’s soothing voice. I certainly find it helps me to actually bother doing my exercises!

The app responsiveness is good. It’s also fairly intuitive to use, with just a few basic controls to get your head around.

What About as a Sex Toy?

I like the shape and flexibility of the Dr Whale 2. I also really like the gently ridged texture of the silicone on one side of the whale’s body. Its flexy tail means it will work for a variety of bodies and comfortable positioning is easy. The downside of the flexible tail is that, when you’ve inserted the toy, it’s difficult to get a satisfying amount of clitoral pressure.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

I’m not really a fan of internal vibrations, though, so I soon turned to using it solely as a clitoral toy.

Unfortunately, the Dr Whale 2 really falls down for me on power. It’s not the worst by any stretch, and I’ve certainly used more expensive toys that were packing less of a punch than this one. But ultimately the vibrations are of mediocre strength and very buzzy. This toy is highly unlikely to ever get me off.

Verdict

A mixed bag here.

I do think the Dr Whale 2 is a good kegel exerciser. The guided sessions on the app are a nice touch and the vibrations add more pleasure to the whole process. As a sex toy, though, I’m unlikely to ever use it again. It’s just too buzzy and not really powerful enough to be satisfying.

The Monster Pub Dr Whale 2 retails for $119.00 at time of writing.

This review was sponsored, meaning the company paid me to write an honest review. All views and experiences are my own.

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator

[Update 02/11/23: this toy has been discontinued. I have removed dead links but left the post up for information.]

I think we all know how I feel about Fifty Shades of Grey as a cultural phenomenon by now, don’t we? In case you don’t, here’s a quick primer: it romanticises domestic abuse, gets BDSM dangerously wrong, and is just horribly written considering how much money it made.

However, I’m also a realist, and I know that this genie is out of the bottle, so to speak. People are going to come to sex positivity, BDSM, and sex toys via the Fifty Shades route. As a kinkster, sex positive educator, and pleasure product expert, I think those of us already in these communities have a big responsibility to these newcomers. And that responsibility is to welcome them. To provide resources. To be there for them and to show them that while Fifty Shades might be a fun fantasy (if you like that sort of thing), the reality is so much cooler and more exciting.

That’s why I’m glad that, when the inevitable Fifty Shades of Grey vibrators and other Fifty Shades sex toys emerged, they were at least well-designed and body safe.

All this to say I’m reviewing another toy from Lovehoney’s official Fifty Shades range: the Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator.

Fifty Shades Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator

Fifty Shades of Grey Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator

The Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator measures 4.5″ in length, and tapers from a wide base to a narrow, pointed tip. When switched on, this tip “flickers” against your clit as the toy vibrates.

In the box, you’ll find the toy as well as a USB charging cable and a storage bag made from REPREVE® recycled plastic (eco-friendly, yay!)

Fifty Shades of Grey vibrator and sex toy storage bag

The Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator is made of smooth matte black silicone, which is non-porous and body-safe. It’s also submersible, should you want to use it in water (this also makes cleaning easier).

Sensation-al?

After some recent positive experiences with tongue vibrators, I was hopeful that the Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator would be another surprising gem. Unfortunately, that wasn’t to be. On the whole, this toy didn’t work for me.

The first problem is the pointy tip. While I sometimes enjoy pinpoint clitoral stimulation, the Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator’s silicone tip felt more like something jabbing my clit than stimulating it. (I mean, maybe that’s your thing? If so, live your best life! But it’s not mine). It was a little better when I used it sideways on or over my clitoral hood, but with the slightest wrong move, the pokey sensation was back.

Fifty Shades of Grey vibrator tongue vibe

The second problem is that the motor is not very strong, and buzzy as hell to boot. After ten minutes or so of vainly chasing an orgasm, I was annoyed and had a numb clit.

Finally, the user interface. The Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator has a single button interface and a whopping 20 patterns and settings. This means that if you want to turn the power down a notch, or return to a previous pattern, you’re left scrolling alllllllll the way back through. I don’t know about you, but having to press a button 20 times just to get the setting I want seriously impedes my wank game.

Good point, because credit where credit is due: the Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator is quiet. That and its body-safe material, though, are about the only good things I can say about it.

Verdict

Overall, I found the Fifty Shades of Grey Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator disappointing. With a stronger and rumblier motor, it could be fine for people who like very pinpointed stimulation. With a stronger motor, a less pointy tip, and a better button system, it could be excellent. But the current product is lacklustre at best and I doubt I’ll use it again.

Skip it and get a decent bullet vibe instead.

The Sensation Flickering Tongue Vibrator retails for £36.99 ($44.99 US) at Lovehoney.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All views, as always, are my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] BMS Addiction Edward Realistic Dildo

Today’s review is the third and final in my series featuring the new Addiction range from BMS (check out Luke and Steven if you haven’t already!) The final toy in the series is the Edward realistic dildo.

Let’s take a closer look.

Edward Design & Materials

The Edward is a realistic dildo in a pale white flesh tone. It is gently curved and features lifelike detailing on the shaft and a pronounced, realistic-looking head.

Edward realistic dildo

The Edward is made of 100% silicone, which is non-porous and body-safe (it’s also easy to sterilise – just pop the toy in a pan of boiling water for 10 minutes, and any germs or bacteria will be killed). The material is very soft and squishy, making it a great entry point for people new to insertable toys… or just a good choice if you know you don’t like things too rigid.

The Edward measures 6″ in total length (5.5″ insertable) and 1.5″ in diameter at the widest point. It features a suction cup base, which makes it ideal for both hands-free solo play and strap-on sex. This is probably the most ideal toy from the Addiction range for strap-on play, as it doesn’t have balls (which can make it trickier to keep a toy in place in a harness). Thanks to the flared base, you can also safely use the Edward for anal play.

Like the other Addiction toys I’ve tried, the Edward comes with a mini single-speed vibrating bullet. It requires 3 x LR44 watch batteries, which are included.

Edward Realistic Dildo In Use

The Edward is by far my favourite of the realistic dildos I’ve tried from the BMS Addiction range.

Lifelike suction cup dildo affixed to shower wall

When it comes to inserting the toy, the matte silicone can be quite grabby against your skin. Using plenty of water-based lube is the best way to ensure maximum comfort and pleasure. Shape and design wise, I found the Edward easy to insert and manipulate. The suction cup makes a convenient “handle”.

The best thing about the Edward compared to the other Addiction toys I’ve reviewed is its curved shape. If you’re looking for precision G-spot or prostate (P-spot) action, a curved dildo is the way to go. The Edward’s curve works brilliantly for my body. Combined with the pronounced head, it makes targeted G-spotting easy.

This dildo is more “average” in size than the larger Steven and Luke, but that can be a good thing. I don’t particularly gravitate towards size when it comes to dildos – shape (the aforementioned curve) is far more important. Considering that the average erect penis is supposedly about 5.1″ inches in length (source), the Edward is likely to feel closer to being penetrated by a human lover.

Steven and Edward realistic dildos in flesh coloured silicone
Edward and Steven side by side for comparison

If I have one complaint, it’s that I would have preferred the Edward to be a little bit firmer. Some flex in a toy can be nice, but this is maybe a little too flexy to be completely ideal. Of course, your mileage may vary and if you don’t like too much firmness or pressure, the Edward might be your dream dildo.

About That Bullet Vibe…

If you’ve read my previous Addiction reviews, you’ll know what I think of the included vibrating bullet. Tl;dr version: it’s a weak, buzzy waste of time. If manufacturers are going to include bonus vibrators with their dildos, I wish they’d do it properly. Otherwise, I wish they just wouldn’t bother. Leaving them out would reduce the overall price of the product a little, and there are far better bullet vibes on the market.

Black mini bullet vibrator for clitoral pleasure

I also worry about including a mini bullet in with a toy that is clearly aimed primarily at the beginner market. Why? Because when I was new to sex toys, I tried this type of weak vibrator. When I couldn’t get off with it, when it numbed my clit and left me confused and frustrated, I thought there was something wrong with me.

Sex toy beginners, please hear this: there’s nothing wrong with you if you can’t get off with a weak and buzzy vibe, or indeed any toy. You just need to find what works for your body.

Verdict

Overall, the Edward is a nice realistic dildo that does its job well. It’s well designed, safe, and suitable for a range of different purposes including hands-free penetration, strap-on sex, and anal play.

Best of all, the Edward retails for a very affordable £22.83. I’m so pleased to see more and more affordable body-safe toys hitting the market all the time. Being on a budget doesn’t need to mean settling for crap quality or unsafe materials!

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me this toy to review. All views, as ever, are my own. You can support the site by shopping through the affiliate links in this post.

[Toy Review] BMS Addiction Luke Semi-Realistic Dildo

Last week, I reviewed the Steven from the new Addiction range by BMS. This line of silicone dildos are designed to be both body-safe and affordable. Today we’re looking at another toy from the range: the Luke semi-realistic dildo.

Materials and Design: A Closer Luke

(Sorry. You knew there’d be puns).

The Luke from BMS’s Addiction range is a silicone semi-realistic dildo. I say semi-realistic because the Luke is realistic in shape, complete with a lifelike veined shaft, detailed head, and textured balls, but definitely not realistic in colour, with its gorgeous and unusual blue and white marbling effect. Prefer pink? The Brandon is the same design in equally cute pink and white.

BMS Luke blue silicone dildo

As someone who generally prefers playful and unusual colourways rather than flesh tones for my toys, I gravitated to the Luke’s striking aesthetic straight away.

The Luke measures 7.5″ in length (5″ insertable) and 1.5″ in diameter. Being silicone, it’s completely body-safe and simple to keep clean. Be aware that this silicone is very matte, meaning it can feel a little “grabby”. Plenty of water-based lube will give you a smoother and more enjoyable experience.

Matte silicone is also a nightmare for attracting dust and lint, so always give it a quick wipe down before use, even if it’s been sterilised. You don’t want to introduce unnecessary gunk into your sensitive areas!

BMS Addiction semi-realistic dildo with suction cup

The Luke features a strong suction cup for hands-free use, is harness-compatible if strap-on play is your jam, and comes with a mini vibrating bullet (batteries included). Thanks to its large base, the Luke is also safe for anal play.

Luke In Use

Putting them side by side, we can see that the Luke is the more colourful twin of the Steven. They’re physically the same in shape, size, and texture. This means that, for the same reasons, the Luke wasn’t a good match for my preferences.

BMS Luke and Steven realistic dildos

It’s comfortable to insert and easy to angle, which are definitely points in its favour. But I have a very strong preference for insertable toys with a pronounced curve. They just target my G-spot much more easily. The Luke is also a little too squishy and flexible to give me the G-spot pressure I’m really after.

What About the Bullet Vibe?

I never expect much from the mini bullets that are sometimes included with dildos. They’re clearly an afterthought on the part of the manufacturer, and it shows.

Mini bullet vibrator for clit play

Though I will say that the bullets included with the BMS range have given me an idea for a creative orgasm control/mindfuck scene: “if you really need to cum, you’ll be able to get off with this crappy little buzzy thing. If not, guess you don’t actually need it!” So, you know, I can still eroticise shit sex toys sometimes!

If you’re buying the Luke or any other dildo in the BMS Addiction range, consider the bullet an unnecessary add-on that probably won’t do much. If you’re looking for a vibrator specifically, there are far better options on the market!

You Might Like the Luke If…

If you like softer dildos with plenty of flex, the Luke will be a great match for you. This softer silicone is a great step up for people who have tried TPE/TPR/jelly dildos and are looking for something safer but with the same squish and softness.

The Luke is also a great choice for people who like straighter toys. Some people find the intense G-spotting of curved toys painful, or just enjoy the deeper penetration that a toy like the Luke can provide. If that’s you, then snap this one up!

But It Might Not Suit You So Well If…

If you prefer more rigid toys for penetration, look elsewhere. If intense G-spot pressure or firmness does it for you, the Luke is unlikely to be a good fit. Similarly, if you enjoy curved toys for precision G-spot (or prostate) targeting, the Luke won’t be the best choice for you.

Final Thoughts

The Luke wasn’t a great fit for my body, simply because I prefer something a little more rigid and a little more curved for penetrative. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a great toy! If you’re after a soft, body-safe, semi-realistic dildo with a fun aesthetic, you can’t go far wrong.

The Luke retails for £39.55. I’m assuming that the higher price-point compared to the Steven and other single-colour options is due to the additional labour involved in producing the lovely swirled marble effect. It’s still well priced for the quality and will last you years.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden, a wonderful feminist sex shop, for sending me this toy to review. All opinions are, as always, entirely my own. Shopping through the affiliate links in this post supports my work at no extra cost to you!