You don’t have to spend a fortune to get amazing sex toys! In fact, some of my favourite toys are relatively affordable (meanwhile I’ve tried some abusrdly expensive ones that didn’t feel worth the money at all.)
I’ve been pondering this piece for a while and I’ve finally decided I’m going to do a UK edition and a North American edition, because different products are available in different places.
5 of the Best Vibrators Under £35
So without further ado, here some five of the best vibrators under £35 that you can get in the UK. Everything listed here is a product I’ve actually tried and actually love.
Rocks Off Bamboo (£16.99)
I love Rocks Off (that’s why they appear on this list twice!) They produce some of the best vibrators at affordable prices that I’ve ever encountered.
The Bamboo is a basic bullet vibrator that pretty much does what it says on the tin. Its tapered lipstick-shaped tip is great for precision clitoral stimulation. It’s not knock-your-socks-off powerful, but for a small battery-powered bullet that’s under £20 it’s pretty damn good.
This is simply the best bullet vibrator I have ever tried. It pretty much lives by my bed and is never out of charge. It’s unbelievably powerful and rumbly, and has the rare honour of having patterns I actually like.
As a bonus, the battery life lasts ages even on full power.
Buy it here and get 10% off with code coffeeandkink, or here.
Lovehoney Ignite Bullet
When I reviewed this toy, I said it had amongst the best motors I had felt in a toy at this price point. I stand by that assessment now! It is a great body-safe basic with 20 different settings and patterns. Ideal for figuring out what you like or just getting lots of different sensations out of one toy!
Rocks Off’s second entry on this list is a versatile vibe that can work well for the clit or the G-spot. The Chaiamo is either a large bullet or a smallish internal vibe, depending on which way you look at it. Either way, it packs a power punch and is pleasantly rumbly.
I’m working on a post at the moment about the best clitoral toys under £30. I’ve been reaching out to my contacts at the different toy companies I work with and oh boy, have these guys delivered! You’ll have to wait a little longer for the final post (I’m still deliberating over one or two of the entries!) but today I wanted to tell you about one of the products I’ve tested and am really impressed by.
Let’s ignore the silly name for a minute…
(Why do sex toys so often have silly names anyway!?) The Humdinger by Lovehoney is a clitoral vibrator with a cup-shaped tip. The idea is that this tip fully encompasses the clit and surrounds it with vibrations. If you turn it over, there’s also a small, rigid nodule which can be used straight on the clit if you’re after more pinpoint stimulation. Though it’s a clitoral toy primarily, you could use it internally if you were so inclined – the bump might feel nice against your G-spot.
The Humdinger measures 7.6″ in total length, and about an inch in diameter. It is battery powered (you’ll need 2 AA batteries, not included) and fully waterproof. I do wish, as a rule, that companies would send their toys with batteries – but understand this pushes the price up for them, which would be passed on to the consumer. Pro tip from this sex toy lover: always keep a pack or two of AA and AAA batteries in your toy box!
As always, this toy arrived in a discreet parcel. It comes packaged simply in Lovehoney’s signature white box with a picture of the toy and some info about it on the outside. Don’t expect fancy packaging or anything at this price point, but honestly as an eco-conscious girl I’m all for simple packaging that means less we have to throw away or recycle.
This toy is fully body-safe. The material is smooth coated hard plastic, which is non-toxic and non-porous. It’s super easy to clean – a toy wipe or body-safe medical wipe will do a quick clean-up, and it’s submersible so you can wash it thoroughly with warm water and gentle soap. Your Humdinger should be condom compatible, but watch that the little pointy nodule doesn’t tear your condom!
Water-based or silicone-based lubes are fine with hard plastic toys.
In use: a simple interface and nice rumbly vibrations
The Humdinger operates on a simple twist mechanism in the base. I really like twist controls on toys because it means you can control the intensity quite finely, and easily decrease or increase without having to press loads of buttons. The wavy body is ergonomic and comfortable to hold. It’s not the lightest toy,
While the Humdinger is not the strongest toy I’ve tried (including when measured against other toys at a similar price point,) it sports a reasonable level of power. The vibrations are also decently rumbly, so there is none of that horrible surface-level buzz that plagues so many cheaper toys.
It also has – joy of joys – NO PATTERNS! (I hate patterns 99% of the time.) Just solid, rumbly vibrations.
I really like the shape of the Humdinger’s tip. Having vibrations all the way around and over my clit was delicious and more than made up for the fact that I would have liked a tad more power. (Then again, when wouldn’t I like a tad more power?) The unique shape and the sensation of having my clit surrounded by vibrations really made this one for me.
All in all a good little toy for the price
I’m very happy to recommend this product! It’s cheap, body-safe, mid-range on power, and rumbly. An ideal pick for a beginner or anyone looking for quality clit stimulation on a budget.
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Humdinger to test and review for you all! Shopping via my affiliate links sends a small commission my way and helps me keep doing this work. If you enjoy my work, please consider becoming a Patron!
The Exposed Nocturnal bullet is 4″ long in total and has a dimension of 0.9″. It’s shaped, as the advertising copy implies, like a lipstick – a cylindrical body leading to a gently tapered tip with one flat edge. I really like this shape for clitoral vibrators, because it gives you so many options. You can use the tip, the flat edge or the whole shaft, depending on how pinpoint you like your vibrations.
The Exposed Nocturnal is waterproof, submersible, and USB-rechargeable. It comes in four colour-ways, three of which can be described as variations on “pink,” and the fourth (called “Sugar Plum”) is purple. The colours are sort of shimmery in quality, which is really attractive.
Functionality & Interface
The Exposed Nocturnal bullet has a simple two-button user interface built into the base (which is also where the magnetic charging points are). You hold down the + button to switch on, use the + and – buttons to navigate the various settings, and hold down the – button to switch off.
This is one of the areas where this toy really comes out ahead of the Tango, as well as most of the lower priced toys on the market – you can cycle either way through the settings! Gone up a notch and decided it’s too intense? No worries, you can skip straight back down again without cycling all the way through.
My only real complaint, and it’s a minor one, is that the buttons and markings on them are so small that it can be hard to see which is which in low light. I would also have liked a travel lock, but you can’t have everything.
Body-Safe and Easy to Clean
The Exposed Nocturnal bullet is made of body-safe ABS plastic, which is non-porous and non-toxic. I really enjoy hard plastic as a toy material, because it’s so firm that it doesn’t dampen down the strength of the vibrations at all.
This toy is also a breeze to clean. Use a body-safe medical wipe, or some gentle soap and warm water – it’s fully submersible! Oil-, silicone- or water-based lubes are all fine with ABS plastic toys.
For extra protection if you’re sharing your toys, pop a condom over it or clean it thoroughly between users.
In Use: Power for Days!
Power is always the crunch point for me, when it comes to whether I like a toy or not. Basically, I want power and lots of it! And ohhhh boy, did the Exposed Nocturnal bullet deliver in this area.
It has 10 settings: five constant speeds and five patterns. Mr CK was stunned when I switched this toy on to show him its power, then said “and that’s the LOWEST setting!” It’s got less pure rumble than the Tango, but no less power. (If the Tango is a 9 on a 1-10 scale of rumbliness, this toy is about a 7.5). Starting out at a low rumble and building up to what I can only describe as a tiny power tool, make no mistake: this baby is extremely powerful. I can come reliably, in only a few minutes, with this toy on the lowest setting – which is practically unheard of for me.
I should mention that it’s a little on the louder side. The volume isn’t unreasonable for the level of power, but it’s not a good choice if you need near-silent. (It does, however, pass the “can Mr CK hear Amy wanking from downstairs when she’s in the bedroom with the door closed?” test. He could not).
In conclusion: the best bullet I’ve ever tried.
And I do not say this lightly! This toy is in-fucking-credible for the price. If you need power but you’re on a limited budget, or if you’re looking for a discreet little vibe to take on your travels with you, look no further.
Let me say it again: This. Toy. Is. $32. Next time anyone tells you that you can’t get a body-safe product without shelling out hundreds, point them to this post.
Thanks to Peepshow for sending me the Blush Novelties Exposed Nocturnal lipstick bullet to review. It will feature next month in a piece on the best body-safe vibrators under $40. Links in this post are affiliate links and if you use them, I will make a small commission. As ever, all opinions my own, and please don’t steal my photos!
Sex, as I have long held, is hilarious. It’s also many other things, of course – hot, sweet, loving, occasionally healing and transformative. But often we get so caught up in the notion of Sex As Serious Business that we forget fucking is meant, first and foremost, to be fun.
These vibes are silly and cute, and clearly marketed towards younger consumers. I have mixed feelings about this; it does seem to be playing into stereotypes about young people and students. However, if a vibrator with an amusing, irreverent design is what it takes to get a young person to buy their first toy and start exploring their sexuality, I’m good with that.
Each Oh-Moji is a petite 5″ long, with a white-and-yellow handle decorated with the Lovehoney heart logo, and a yellow wand head with one flat side, where the emoji face is printed. They are USB rechargeable, and you get about an hour of continuous use from a two-hour charge. I do wish rechargeable toy batteries would last longer, in general!
The Oh-Moji has 11 settings; 3 constant speeds and 8 patterns. It is operated via a simple one-button interface, which you press to change through the settings. This does mean that if you find one you like and skip past it, you have to go allllll the way back through again.
The Oh-Moji is NOT waterproof, so please don’t let it get wet or try to use it in the bath! Luckily, the silicone head is removable which makes for easy clean-up after use. You can, of course, also do a quick clean with a toy wipe or medical wipe (I buy mine in bulk from a medical supplies site). The Oh-Moji is a little small to use with a condom, though you could if you really needed to – and a dam would work just as well to avoid unwanted fluid exchange if you’re sharing the toy without sterilising it first. As ever with silicone toys, please use a good quality water-based lube.
There are several things I like about these product. The design makes me giggle, and I like how small and innocuous they are.
I also, obviously, love that they’re body-safe. So many cheap vibrators and other toys are made of crappy, unsafe jelly/rubber/PVC materials which can be porous or even toxic. No such worries with this one, as the head is pure silicone. People who cannot afford to buy expensive, high-end toys also deserve body safe products and I’m really glad that Lovehoney are trying to cater for a particular corner of the likely-to-be-low-income demographic.
So what didn’t work for me with the Oh-Moji?
Primarily, the level of power. I am a self-confessed power queen and a lot of weaker vibrators just aren’t enough for me. Unfortunately, this one fell into that category. I persevered, but it simply wasn’t strong enough to get me off. The vibrations were very buzzy, too, whereas I much prefer rumbly.
I also did not like how flexible the neck is. I like to be able to press a vibe into my vulva when I’m using it, and the bendy neck just makes it impossible to do this without pushing it away.
Possibly not a bad choice for a first vibrator, especially if you’re looking for something on the gentler side. It’s body-safe and not too expensive (£29.99 at full price, currently on sale for £19.99). However, I do not recommend this product to anyone who likes rumblier vibrations or a higher level of power. Overall, I like them much less than I liked Positive Vibes, Lovehoney’s last cheap, cute-design, body-safe offering.
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Oh-Moji in exchange for an honest review. If you purchase from them using my affiliate links in this post, I make a small commission which helps me keep doing this work. Photos are by me and not to be used without permission.
Hey friends and fans. I want to take a second to talk money – a boring subject, I know, but bear with me. I do this work, sex education and writing and reviewing, primarily for the love of it. But I’m also trying more and more to make it a part of my regular living – the goal, eventually, is to give up my day job and write full time. But for that, I need your help! If you enjoy my work, please consider throwing a dollar or two my way each month on Patreon to access some exciting bonus content including exclusive erotic fiction shorts every Tuesday! If you can’t commit to a monthly amount but still want to support me, you can buy me a virtual coffee. Click the appropriate buttons above to support. If you can’t afford financial support right now, that’s absolutely fine and I love you and value your readership so much! It’s super easy to support me and all your favourite sex writers and creators without it costing you anything by sharing our work on the social media of your choice. Thank you! Now on to the review.
You know what I love about Pride season, among other things? RAINBOWS ON FUCKING EVERYTHING. Seriously, I love it.
They’re a gorgeous line and I adore them. I am, though, sad there’s no bisexual pride product. I’m trying really hard not to read into this as bi erasure. It’s hard, though, when so many of the other letters of LGBTQ+ are represented. Come on, Blush, give us bisexuals some representation!
Facts ‘n’ Figures
The Avant Pride P1 is a fairly petite little thing. It measures only 6 inches total length, with 5.25″ insertable, and has a diameter of 1.4″ at widest point. It also has a distinctly curved shape and a bulbous head, ideal for G-spot or prostate pleasure.
It’s made of very soft, squishy and extremely bendy matte silicone. The base is a strong suction cup (seriously, you should try peeling this thing off a desk – it sticks!) This means you can use it hands-free by sticking it to a floor/desk/chair/shower stall, and it also makes it harness-compatible in case you want to wear it and fuck your lover with it.
I’m not really sure what this actually means, as so few sex toys are ever lab tested! I assume it means the company has run the appropriate tests to meaningfully certify their material as body-safe… but, given the sex toy industry is unregulated, it could also just be words.
Even so, the Pride P1 is made of 100% silicone which ensures it definitely is, in fact, body-safe. As it has no motor or anything, it’s also boilable – you can sterilise your pure silicone dildos/plugs by throwing them into a pot of water on the stove, bringing to the boil, and leaving for 10-15 minutes. This is the best way to kill any and all lingering bacteria, and is especially important if you want to share your toy or use it vaginally/orally after having used it anally.
As ever, you can give your toy a quick clean with a body-safe sterile wipe of the kind you can buy in bulk from medical suppliers, and if you’re sharing it without sterilising you should use a condom. Use water-based lube with silicone toys.
Bend and Flex
This toy, though it feels great in use, is actually a little too bendy for me. When I tried to thrust hard with it, the super-flexible shaft meant that it kept bending in the wrong direction rather than hitting my G-spot accurately. Though lack of a suitable partner being available means I have not had the chance to try it in my harness, I suspect that this issue would also prevent it from being an ideal dildo for vaginal fucking or pegging.
What I do love about this one, though, is the shape. When that wide, rounded head presses into just the right spot… mmmfff. What I have concluded is that this toy is much better as an “insert and leave it in while I do clitoral play” dildo than a “hard and fast fucking” dildo. And that job it performed admirably.
A good cheap, safe option
The Pride P1 dildo retails for $3o, and the whole range are between $26 and $30. This is a really good price for a pure silicone toy, and rivals a lot of the unsafe products available on the cheaper end of the market in affordability.
Do I recommend it?
Reserved yes. I would be happy to recommend these toys to anyone wanting a less rigid dildo, something slimline, or something for leave-in-and-play purposes. I’d be a lot more hesitant to recommend it for strap-on or hard thrusting play. (For that, you’re better off with something like the Silk or the D1). But all around, a solid little toy for the price.
Thanks to Peepshow Toys for sending me the Pride P1 to review! If you buy anything from their site, use my code COFFEE for 10% off at checkout – including the awesome current PrideNJoy sale. This helps me to keep doing what I’m doing. As ever, all opinions are my own and all photos are by me and not to be used without permission.
First, a note: I am changing how I do reviews in that I am now piloting a system where I DON’T give a star rating. Toy reviews will always rely heavily on subjectivity, as all our bodies are different – but I am now wondering if the star rating system came across as passing an inherent value judgement on a toy, when actually my opinion on any product is by definition subjective. If a toy is objectively bad (body-unsafe, for example, or really horribly made) I probably just won’t bother reviewing it in the first place. In the products I review, I want to focus more on what worked for me, what didn’t, and what might work with others’ unique bodies and preferences.
Now with that out of the way, on to the review!
I’m forever being asked for recommendations of good quality, body-safe dildos at affordable prices. There are many wonderful realistic silicone dildos on the market, but many of them tend to be expensive – Vixen Creations do their wonderful VixSkin dildos, but not everyone can afford to drop £100+ on a toy.
Lifelife Lover is a new range of realistic toys from Lovehoney. It’s important to note that some of them are made of PVC, which I do not endorse as a toy material (it’s porous, for one thing). However, there are 8 silicone options in the range – a 5.5″ and an 8″, each available in four colourways – which I heartily recommend. Silicone is body-safe, hypoallergenic and non-porous. I chose the 8 inch version in purple for this review. (A girl can never have too many purple dicks in her collection). The other colours available are black, Caucasian flesh colour, and bright pink.
This dildo is 8″ long from base to tip, with an insertable length of 7″. At the widest point, its circumference is 5″. On the smaller model, you’ve got an insertable length of 5″ and a maximum circumference of 4″.
The Lifelike Lover design really is very… well, lifelike! It resembles a circumcised cock (or an uncut dick with the foreskin rolled back, I guess) with its pronounced head, there are accurate “veins” all down the shaft, and there’s even a meatus (don’t you love that word?) and textured balls.
This dildo feels absolutely divine to me. The Lifelike Lover dildos have a very slight curve (again, sticking with the realism) and the pronounced head is wonderful for G-spot stimulation. I like to press the head against my G-spot and just wiggle the toy slightly to get the pressure I enjoy. The silicone is soft and pliable, meaning you can angle it just right for your body’s preferences, but firm enough to thrust with satisfactorily.
Being silicone, it warms up quickly with your body heat once inserted. You could also run it under some warm water prior to use to get it nicely warmed up.
All Lifelike Lover silicone dildos have suction cup bases, which makes them ideal for hands-free use – stick it to the edge of the shower, a hard floor, the window if you’re feeling daring, and have fun. I can attest to the strength and quality of the suction cup, as it has just taken be both hands to prise it away from where it had suctioned itself to my desk. When stuck to a surface, it sticks out at the perfect just-above-horizontal angle. It’s also harness-compatible, making it ideal for strap-on play or pegging, and has a large enough base to be anal safe.
Care & Cleaning
The best way to clean pure silicone toys without motors is to boil-sterilise them. Just pop it in a pan of hot water on the stove and boil for about 10 minutes, then dry thoroughly before you put it away. This kills any germs or bacteria, keeping your toy super hygienic and also making it safe for sharing, if that’s something you want to do.
If you’re using it between partners without sterilising in between (or wanting to use it for anal and vaginal play in the same session,) it’s an ideal shape to be condom-compatible. If you’re using the larger size toy, I recommend a larger condom to ensure against breakage – 8″ is bigger than an average bio-cock and regular size condoms are really designed for slightly smaller dicks than this.
For silicone toys, water-based lube is recommended.
So Do I Recommend It?
Yes – very much so. If you’re looking for a realistic style dildo at an affordable price, you can’t go far wrong with these.
Lifelike Lover dildos are currently on a special offer – buy any two, get 30% off.