As you’ll know if you’ve been reading this site for a while, I’ve tried a number of “tongue vibrators” over the years, and I’ve had mixed experienced with them. Though they (along with clitoral suction toys) are generally billed as “oral sex simulators”, I have never yet found one that actually felt like receiving cunnilingus from a partner and I am fast coming to the conclusion that that particular sensation is impossible to replicate with a toy. But that’s not to say they don’t have their merits even so! This week, I received the French Lover tongue vibrator from the CurrentBody “Smile Makers” line.
CurrentBody French Lover
The CurrentBody Smile Makers French Lover measures 6″ in total length, of which the last 2″ consists of a thin, flat, and flexible “tongue.” This tongue flutters rapidly when the toy is switched on.
The French Lover came attractively packaged in a blue and white box (with a picture of the Eiffel Tower on it, naturally). It’s battery-operated, which is not typically my preference, but only requires one AA battery which gives you around 4 hours of runtime, so I can’t complain.
The French Lover is fully waterproof, and made of body-safe and non-porous silicone in a pretty sky blue colour.
Controls & Settings
The CurrentBody French Lover operates on a simple single-button interface. The large button, located on the base of the toy, is easy to press and satisfyingly clicky.
This toy offers four steady vibration speeds and two pulse modes, and you can scroll though all of them just by pushing the button. I’m glad the toy’s designers haven’t overloaded it with patterns, as these tend to be pretty lacklustre and I hardly know anyone who actually uses them.
“Almost like the real thing… mimics the feeling of oral sex,” the product copy claims. No it doesn’t, on either count, and I really wish toy manufacturers would stop claiming this about their products. It feels good, though, and falsely claiming it is in any way comparable to a specific sex act with a human partner is just utterly unnecessary. Toys provide different sensations than partners, and that’s one of the main reasons most of us use them.
That industry marketing annoyance aside, though, I actually think the CurrentBody French Lover is an excellent toy. The thin and flexy “tongue” is a unique touch (most of the tongue vibrators I’ve tried have been much firmer) and the vibrations are strong enough to be satisfying.
The flickering sensation reminds me of the Fun Factory Volta and the Satisfyer Power Flower, except – because of the wide and flat design of the French Lover’s tongue – spread out over a wider area. Of course, if you prefer more pinpoint stimulation, you can turn it on its side and use one edge of the tongue only.
Though it’s designed for clits, the French Lover can be used on almost any external erogenous zones. It works particularly well on nipples, and on the head of a penis!
Unusually, I actually prefer this toy on the first couple of settings. At these lower levels of power, you can feel more of the fluttering sensation that is (in my opinion) this toy’s best feature. On the higher settings, it felt much more like a standard buzzy vibrator, which doesn’t usually do it for me. Even more unusually, I actually quite like the two pulsing settings!
This is the perfect toy for a gentle teasing start that leads to a slow-build climax.
The French Lover is not “silent” (there’s no such thing as a truly silent vibrator) but it is unobtrusively quiet, which is nice.
As soon as I saw the CurrentBody French Lover, I had a feeling I was going to enjoy it. That hunch proved correct; this is a fantastic product that offers a very different experience to many of my “get off and get on with my day” go-tos. I suspect this one is going to become a part of my regular rotation of toys.
Thanks to CurrentBody for sending me this product to review. Affiliate links appear within this post and all views are, as always, entirely my own.