[Toy Reviews] Funzze 3-in-1 Sucking & Flapping Thrusting Triple Stimulator

Toys that try to have multiple functions are a mixed bag, and today I’m trying another one! This time we’re looking at Funzze’s 3-in-1 triple stimulator vibrator/sucker/thruster.

What is the Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator Vibrator?

The Funzze 3-in-1 Sucking & Flapping Thrusting Vibrator (hereafter the Funzze 3-in-1 for the sake of brevity) is a triple stimulator that offers three different ways to use it. Its head end features a clitoral suction stimulator on one side and, on the reverse side, this same motor allows the flat surface to make a “tapping” motion. At the other end, the toy’s handle is also an insertable dildo with a thrusting mechanism.

Funzze triple stimulator official product picture to show clitoral suction and tapping motions
Image: Funzze

The Funzze 3-in-1 is made of body-safe silicone and available in either purple or green. It is IPX-6 waterproof (suitable for use in the shower and for cleaning under the tap, but not fully submersible) and USB rechargeable. It measures around 7.5″ in total length, 3.5″ in insertable length.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator shown in purple and green
Image: Funzze

What I Liked About the Funzze 3-in-1

There’s a common problem with sex toys that try to do too many different things: they do none of them particularly well. Happily, this isn’t the case with the Funzze 3-in-1. Let’s talk about the things I liked about this triple stimulator.

  • The clitoral suction part performs well. It is moderately intense on the lowest setting and very intense on the higher ones. One thing to be aware of is that the nozzle is on the smaller side, so if you have a larger clit that might be something to be aware of. But if you enjoy serious focused clitoral stimulation, this toy will likely work well for you.
  • The tapping function is genuinely excellent. The stimulation it provides offers the depth and intensity of very rumbly vibrations. Even the lowest speed feels surprisingly intense, particularly for a toy at this price-point.
  • The construction of the toy feels sturdy. I can press it firmly against my body and get plenty of pressure without feeling like I’m going to damage it.
  • I kind of like that the suction and tapping functions operate off the same motor. This means you can switch between the two in a second, just by turning it around.
Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator in purple with buttons illuminated in blue

  • The two motors – suction/tapping and thrusting – are controllable separately. They can also be used together, though I can’t think of any reason you’d want to that doesn’t defy the laws of physics!
  • The controls are simple and intuitive, and the buttons are easy to press.
  • The thrusting part has quite a short “length” – only maybe an inch or two of thrust. This won’t work for everyone, of course, but for those who (like me) enjoy penetration but often find deep thrusting more painful than pleasurable, it’s a great choice.
  • With 10 thrusting speeds and 10 sucking/tapping intensity levels, it’s a truly customisable experience with numerous options for different users and different preferences.
  • It comes with a storage bag included.
  • The retail price of $42.99 (that’s around £34) is exceptional value for the quality.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There’s one main thing I don’t like about the Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulator: the noise. Whichever way you’re using it, this thing is loud. Both the loud buzz of the head end and the back-and-forth squeak of the thruster are really offputting and grating to me. Which is a shame in a product that I otherwise liked so much.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator

My other criticism is the lack of dual-directional controls. Whichever of the toy’s three functions I’m using, it would be nice to be able to scroll through the speeds in either direction.

Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator: Verdict

Overall, the Funzze 3-in-1 is a much better product than many of the “multiple things in one” options on the market. The clitoral suction stimulator does its job well, and the thrusting function is gentle enough that I can actually use it. It’s that glorious tapping function, though, that really elevates this one for me.

A surprising winner. Good job, Funzze!

The Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulator retails for $42.99.

Thanks to Funzze for sponsoring this review! This means they paid me to test the toy and write an honest account of my experience. All views, as always, are mine.

[Toy Review] The One Flicker Vibe

Following yesterday’s review of The One Wand vibrator, I’m back with the next installment in this series of toy reviews featuring new brand The One. In the UK, The One is exclusively available at Sex Toys UK. Elsewhere in the world, you can find these products at various toy retailers including Good Vibes and Babeland. Next up is The One Flicker Vibe.

What is The One Flicker Vibe?

The One Flicker Vibe tongue vibrator

The One Flicker Vibe is a curved toy measuring just under 10″ in length and 1.42″ in diameter at the widest point. Made of smooth body-safe silicone, it is also waterproof and USB rechargeable. A two-hour charge gives around 90 minutes of use.

The One Flicker Vibe a single-shaft vibrator with two independent motors. What makes this toy unique is its silicone “tongue” at one end, which flicks rapidly back and forth. The other end is a fairly standard insertable vibrator featuring a series of gentle ridges.

I admit I mostly requested this one for review out of curiosity. My initial reaction when I saw it was “what!? …huh.” But is it actually any good?

The One Flicker Vibe: Pros

Let’s get the most important thing out of the way: does it feel good? Surprisingly (to me at least), it does. The One Flicker Vibe provides a rapid tapping sort of sensation against the G-spot, not unlike being fingered by someone with very good manual dexterity. As someone who doesn’t like the sensation of vibrations internally, this was a pleasant change: a motorised G-spot toy I can actually use and enjoy!

The One Flicker Vibe

So what else did I like about the One Flicker Vibe?

  • The curved shape makes the toy comfortable to insert and makes it effortless to find (and keep contact with) the G-spot.
  • The vibrating end has a half-decent motor. It’s not super rumbly, but it at least has some power behind it.
  • The two-in-one design means that, if you decide you’re in the mood for vibrations rather than flicking or vice-versa, you can just switch motors and turn it around without needing to grab a different toy.
  • It is comfortable to hold, with well-placed and easy to press buttons.
  • It works just as well for clitoral stimulation. I haven’t found that the flicking motion against my clit can actually get me off, but it does feel really fucking good.

The One Flicker Vibe: Cons

The Flicker Vibe really is all about the flicker end for me. The regular vibrator end is fine, but not realistically something I’m likely to use with any kind of regularity.

The One Flicker Vibe G-spot vibrator end

There were also a few other gripes I had with this toy:

  • I don’t love the two-button interface. It’s good that you can control the flicker function and the vibrations separately, but makes it a pain to scroll through all the settings (three speeds and seven patterns per motor) to go backwards or find one you liked.
  • This toy is a nightmare to clean. It’s really hard to get around and behind the tongue to ensure it is completely clean. A very small brush that can get into all the crevices is probably your best bet.
  • It’s a little on the heavy side.

Also, I’m really annoyed that the copy on the box states you can use this toy for the “P-spot”, AKA the prostate. The Flicker Vibe does not have a flared base and therefore absolutely should not be used anally.

Verdict

This toy offers quite a specific sensation, which is great if you enjoy it but pretty useless if you don’t. (Well, not completely useless. You can still use the vibrating end. But there are cheaper and better basic vibrators on the market if that’s what you’re looking for.)

If you want a toy that somewhat mimics the sensation of fingers making a “come hither” motion inside you (and/or tapping against your clit), you’ll probably enjoy this one. I certainly did.

The Flicker Vibe retails for £68.36 at Sex Toys UK and $117.95 at Babeland and Good Vibes.

Thanks to Sex Toys UK for sending me this product to review. All views and writing are, as always, mine. If you shop through my affiliate links I make a small commission at no additional cost to you.

[Toy Review] Bodywand Vario

The company that sent me this item appears to have shut down as of 03/07/24. I have removed dead links accordingly and replaced product links with a supplier that is still live.

People with clitorises have wildly different preferences when it comes to how we like to have them stimulated. For some people, only the lightest touch will do, while others prefer a lot of pressure. Intense, rumbly vibrations do it for some, while a light buzz works best for others. Then, of course, there’s the broad vs. pinpoint stimulation question.

For those who prefer very pinpoint sensations, toys like the Zumio are ideal. For those who enjoy all-over vulva stimulation, wands are the way to go. But what about if you’re looking for a little of both, or even just aren’t sure what you like yet? That’s where the Bodywand Vario comes in.

This is only the second Bodywand toy I’ve ever tried, so I was intrigued to get started and see how it shaped up. Let’s take a closer look.

Bodywand Vario: Details

The Bodywand Vario is a double-ended vibrator. At one end there’s a narrow flexible silicone tip with a ball shaped end for clitoral stimulation, and at the other there’s a curved insertable vibrating shaft.

Bodywand Vario dual stimulation vibrator

It is made of 100% body-safe silicone in white with rose gold coloured ABS plastic accents. For some reason, white silicone toys always make me think of medical devices. Which, you know, can be fun if that’s your kink!

The Vario’s insertable length is around 4″ and the diameter is 1.2″ at the widest point, so if you’re looking for a large insertable this isn’t the way to go. End to end, it measures just over 7″ in total.

The Bodywand Vario is USB rechargeable via the included cable. You’ll get 60-90 minutes of use from a full two hour charge depending on which settings you’re using. It is splashproof, so you can use it in the shower or wash it with soap and running water but should not submerge it in water (for example, in the bath.)

Bodywand Vario In Use

The Bodywand Vario offers 7 vibration settings (3 speeds and 4 patterns) in the insertable end and 10 settings (3 speeds and 7 patterns) in the clitoral stimulator.

The Vario’s two-button interface is fine, though the buttons are small and blended into the white silicone body. This makes them pretty hard to see, especially in low light. You can use both ends of the toy simultaneously, though I can’t imagine any reason you’d want to. As ever, I would prefer two-way controls so that you can scroll both ways through settings.

Bodywand Vario dual stimulation double ended vibrator with box

Holding this toy is a little awkward when you’re using the insertable end. You end up with your hand wrapped around the flexible tip, which isn’t the most intuitive or comfortable.

The Vario’s vibrations are pretty good! I wasn’t sure what to expect, but this thing’s level of power genuinely impressed me. The vibrations in the insertable end feel more rumbly to me than those in the clitoral end. I can’t work out if it’s actually a different motor or if the vibrations just feel different because they’re distributed across a broader area.

I tested out the intertable end briefly, and it’s fine though not really my thing as I don’t like the sensation of internal vibrations. Its shape is good, though, with a nice curve and just enough flex. The firm ridge on the underside will appeal to those who enjoy texturing on their toys.

The Bodywand Vario really comes into its own as a clitoral vibrator, though. I absolutely love the shape and size of the precision tip. It’s not as small or firm as the Zumio (the most obvious point of comparison for a toy like this,) so it doesn’t cross that narrow threshold from “so intense it’s amazing” to “so intense it’s painful.”

Pro tip: the matte silicone is smooth and soft, but given the small size of the tip you’re going to want plenty of lube for this one.

Verdict

I had a feeling I was going to like the Bodywand Vario, and it exceeded my expectations with its excellent design and powerful motors.

The Vario retails for £104 from Sex Toys UK. It’s a somewhat pricey product but – if you enjoy both clitoral and internal stimulation – you’re really getting two toys in one.

Thanks to my affiliate partners and former site sponsors Jessie’s Boutique for sending me this product to review. All views, as ever, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and using them sends me a small commission at no extra cost to you.

[Toy Review] Four BestVibe Tongue Vibrators

Tongue vibrators are having a moment in a big way. In our ongoing quest to find a sex toy that feels like receiving cunnilingus (more on that below), companies are coming up with more and more interesting – and occasionally outlandish – variations on the tongue vibrator theme.

BestVibe, who have kindly sponsored a series of posts, have a large array of tongue vibrators in their catalogue. They sent me four to try out, compare and contrast, and ultimately judge for which one is my favourite.

Let’s go.

Selection of BestVibe tongue vibrators in their boxes

A Note on My Review Criteria

I’ve said this before and I’ll repeat it here: there is absolutely no such thing as a toy that genuinely feels like receiving cunnilingus from a partner. (I wish there was, because I would pay serious cash moneys for that product!) It just does not exist. Sex toy technology is not there yet.

Therefore, I will NOT be grading these toys on the extent to which they mimic cunnilingus. That is an unfair and currently impossible standard. Instead, I will grade them on the basis of factors such as:

  • Materials
  • Design and aesthetic
  • Functionality
  • Feel
  • Power
  • Volume
  • Effectiveness (e.g. “did it get me off?”)

I’ll share the pros and cons of each product and give it a score out of 10.

Tongue Vibrator #1: “Rose Low Noise 5 Thrusting & Vibrating 7 Tongue Licking Vibrator” ($39.44)

BestVibe rose vibrator tongue sex toy

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone,
  • It looks like a rose, which is kind of cute.
  • Double-ended toy: features both a tongue for clitoral stimulation and a thrusting shaft for G-spot play.
  • You can use both the features at the same time (great for sharing, I guess, though I can’t quite picture how the physics of that would work in practice) or separately (far more practical.)

Cons

  • The tongue is far too rigid. Even on the lowest setting, it just HURTS. It’s a hard pointy thing flicking back and forth against your clit, and it’s exactly as unpleasurable as that sounds.
  • The thrusting mechanism only moves about an inch and its movement is severely hampered by my vaginal walls when it’s actually inside me.
  • The claim of “low noise” is hilariously untrue. It has the typical whining sound of any thrusting toy and the tongue part makes a distracting sort of buzz/rattle.

Verdict

Bad. 2/10.

Tongue Vibrator #2: Fiona Rose Clit Licking & Vibrating Stimulator Multifunctional Vibrator ($39.99)

BestVibe double ended vibrator rose tongue sex toy

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone.
  • The softer, more flexible tongue actually feels amazing on my clit.
  • The “come hither” motion of the insertable end is excellent for G-spot stimulation.
  • Each end can be controlled separately or used together.
  • The long stem/cord design allows for more flexibility of positioning and more possibilities in using both ends at once if you want to.
  • The flicking tongue end is very quiet when used by itself.

Cons

  • The vibrations are very buzzy.
  • Annoying mechanical whine when the G-spot stimulator is turned on.
  • I’d have preferred fewer patterns and another level or two of continuous “licking.”

Verdict

Surprisingly decent. 6/10.

Tongue Vibrator #3: Beinlove Tongue Lick Rabbit Clitoris Nipple Vibrator ($73.84)

BestVibe rabbit tongue vibrator

Find it here.

Pros

  • The soft, flicking, textured tongue feels fantastic on my clit.
  • Fully waterproof.
  • Comes with two different size suction cups to accommodate different bodies and uses.

Cons

  • Extremely weird and baffling aesthetic. Why does it have a bunny face and ears? How is that necessary? (Have we just inextricably associated rabbits with sex toys now… and can we please stop?)
  • The clear cup part is supposed to provide a seal and stimulate the entire vulva via vacuum suction, but it just… doesn’t. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get a seal. I suspect this might be because I have pubic hair. But if a sex toy relies on the user having no pubic hair in order to use it, then it is a badly designed sex toy.
  • The suction cups don’t attach very well to the main toy. They’re either half falling off, or trapping the tongue so it doesn’t move properly.
  • The noise. Dear god, the whining squeaking noise.
  • The tongue and suction cups, i.e. the parts that actually come into contact with the body, are made of TPE rather than silicone. This is a porous material that will harbour bacteria and degrade over time.

Verdict

Interesting idea, poor execution. 4/10.

Tongue Vibrator #4: Helran 10 Vibrating & 7 Tongue Licking G Spot Stimulator ($79.99)

BestVibe licking tongue vibrator

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone.
  • Steady and consistent licking motion that feels great when combined with plenty of lube. I prefer using the flat side rather than the pointier tip, but your mileage may vary of course.
  • Actually made me cum! The only one of the 4 that did. It was a slow build and I think I’d need to be both very turned on already and quite patient, but it can actually get me there. So that’s nice given that, you know, it’s kinda the entire point of a sex toy.
  • It warms up to 42C in use, which feels really nice.
  • Some of the different pattern settings actually feel good! Knowing how I feel about patterns generally, this was a pleasant surprise.

Cons

  • It’s a giant disembodied tongue. It has VEINS and everything. This toy feels the best of the four by far, but its aesthetic is nightmare fuel.
  • There is absolutely no universe in which this is a G-spot stimulator. You COULD stick it inside yourself if you wanted, I guess, but the angle and type of stimulation is all wrong to do anything to a G-spot.
  • The silicone is very grabby. This means it’s prone to picking up lint and dust and such. It also means you’ll need a LOT of lube to have a good time.
  • Squeaky as fuck.

Verdict

Surprising no-one more than me, this one is actually the winner! A respectable 7/10.

This post was sponsored by BestVibe. My readers can enjoy 20% off all products in their store by using code “coffee” at checkout! All writing and views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Gläs Red Head

I love glass toys, I love pretty toys, and I love double-ended toys. So when the team at sex toy retailer The Adult Toy Shop offered me this beauty, the Gläs Toys double-ended “Red Head” glass dildo, I jumped at the chance.

Gläs Toys Red Head: Details

The Gläs Red Head is a double-ended borosilicate glass dildo measuring 8.5″ in total length. It has a diameter of 1.5″ at the widest points of the heads and 1″ along the shaft. Unlike many double-ended dildos, both ends are the exact same size.

Glas Toys Red Head, a curved glass dildo with red swirl detailing on its two bulbed heads
Image: Gläs

The Gläs Toys Red Head is really pretty. I always find glass toys aesthetically appealing, and the red wave pattern on each of the heads gives this one a unique and striking appearance.

Is Glass Body-Safe?

Short answer: yes!

A properly made glass dildo won’t break unless you drop it or it suffers a similar impact. They don’t just shatter and I have never heard of one breaking inside someone. Borosilicate glass, the kind that good glass toys are made of, is what you find in “Pyrex” and similar cookware. It’s hardy stuff and can withstand temperature changes well.

Glass is non-toxic, non-porous, chemically inert and generally hypoallergenic. It is also compatible with all barrier materials and all lube types, including silicone lube. In short, a great choice! Glass is generally an anal-safe material, but the Gläs Toys Red Head doesn’t have a flared base so don’t use this one anally.

Glass toys are smooth yet unyielding, and initially cold to the touch but warm up surprisingly quickly with your body’s heat. Run your toy under warm (not hot!) water or put it in the fridge (not the freezer!) prior to use for some fun temperature-based play.

The Gläs Toys Red Head In Use

I’ve sometimes struggled with straight glass toys because, as they’re so rigid, it can be hard to angle them just right. They end up pressing into the wrong spot inside me, which can be painful. That’s why I love the curved shape of the Gläs Red Head coupled with its ultra-smooth surface.

The combination of this curve and the bulbous heads made the Gläs Toys Red Head ideal for targeted and intense G-spot pleasure.

If you enjoy internal vibrations, insert your glass dildo then press a wand or other powerful vibrator against the end that’s outside your body. The glass will transmit the vibrations with extra intensity.

Gläs Toys Red Head: Verdict

Yes, this is a wonderful little (or not so little) toy for the price! It’s body-safe, super pretty, it feels delicious, and it’s perfect for both solo and partnered play. A perfect beginner glass toy, or even a good addition to an afficionado’s collection.

The Gläs Toys Red Head retails for $39.99 at The Adult Toy Shop.

This unbiased review was sponsored by The Adult Toy Shop, who carry a wide range of very affordable sex toys. All views and writing are, as always, my own.