eco friendly Archives

[Lube Review] ÜberLube Silicone Lubricant

Published on September 18, 2024March 21, 2026 by Amy

I’ve been wanting to do an Überlube review for ages, and the company was kind enough to send me not one but two samples of their silicone-based lubricant to try. I received both a signature 55ml bottle and a Good to Go Traveler set. The latter comes with a refillable travel case (available in 10 different colour options) and one 15ml refill. You can buy additional Good to Go refills as and when you need them.

Überlube review image of travel lube canister and refill

I particularly like the Good to Go set for a couple of reasons. First, it’s super useful for popping into your bag or pocket for play parties, weekends away, or hot dates. Since it only contains 15ml of liquid, it’s also ideal for carry-on if you’re flying. 15ml might not sound like a lot of lube, particularly if you’ve got plenty of sexy shenanigans planned, but—as we’ll see shortly—it goes a surprisingly long way.

Überlube’s signature bottle and Good to Go refills are made from glass. The company states that this is because:

Glass is durable.
Glass is inert and impermeable—it’s what is used to store pharmateutical products over long periods of time. The bottles also feature a crimped top, ensuring that nothing can contaminate your lube once it is opened.
It looks nice on your nightstand. And it really does—the bottle reminds me of something that a miniature of a premium gin or vodka might come in.

Überlube review image of glass 55ml bottle

Glass is also recyclable and far more environmentally friendly than single-use plastic bottles.

What’s in Überlube Silicone Lubricant?

As we have established, I am choosy about the lubes I will use. There are numerous common ingredients I eschew, from glycerin and propylene glycol through to parabens, petroleum-derived ingredients, and desensitising agents such as benzocaine. This means that there are very few lube brands I can safely rely on, and those I prefer tend to be expensive. Having looked at Überlube’s silicone lubricant ingredients, though, I was excited to test and review it.

Silicone lubes do not have some of the same issues as water-based products. They do not have osmolality issues and are pH-neutral, meaning they will not harm your body’s natural pH if you’re using them vaginally. And, since they contain no water, bacteria cannot thrive and these products do not require preservatives.

Überlube review image of blue travel canister with a refill

So what’s in Überlube and is it body-safe? Let’s look at the ingredients.

Dimethicone: this silicone-based polymer is commonly used in skincare products. It helps to condition and protect the skin by forming a barrier that reduces water loss. It has a low rate of absorption into the skin and experts believe it is safe for human use. In the US, it has been approved by the FDA.
Dimethiconal: another silicone-based liquid polymer that is used as a skin conditioner and to improve viscosity in silicone-based products. It, too, is considered to be a safe ingredient. As it is a large molecule, it does not penetrate the skin.
Cyclomethicone: a clear and odorless cosmetic-grade silicone that helps to give a product a silky texture. It’s controversial in some circles, but “the The Cosmetic Ingredient Review Expert Panel concluded that these ingredients are safe in the present practices of use and concentration” (Johnson, Bergfeld, Anderson et al 2012.)
Tocopheryl acetate (Vitamin E): a form of Vitamin E that appears in numerous cosmetics, skincare products, and supplements. It provides antioxidant benefits and can support overall skin health.

Überlube is registered as a medical device with the FDA. The company works closely with medical advisors, and the product is the lubricant of choice for many OB-GYNs.

Überlube is vegan and cruelty-free. It contains no animal-derived ingredients or animal testing used.

Überlube Silicone Lubricant Review: Sensory Properties & Performance

Überlube is truly odorless and tasteless. I literally licked it off the back of my hand (not generally recommended, but the things I do for my readers!) and couldn’t taste it at all. If the taste or smell of even mild water-based lubes bothers you, Überlube might be a good choice for you. It’s also ideal if you need additional wetness for oral sex but want to smell and taste your partner’s body, not your lube.

Its texture is silky, smooth, and non-sticky. My skin feels soft, moisturised and hydrated after using Überlube—unsurprising considering that dimethicone, dimethiconal and tocopheryl acetate are all common skin moisturisers and conditioners.

Woman's hand with a smear of silicone-based lube on the back

I’m very sensitive to textures in general—neurodivergent life amirite?—which is one of the reasons I can’t really use most oil-based lubes. The sensation of them on my hands gives me the “ick.” My experience with silicone lubes has been mixed in this regard, with some working for me and others very much not. Überlube, I am happy to say, does not give me that gross oily feeling nor did testing it for this review leave me wanting to run to the bathroom to wash it off as quickly as possible.

Bear in mind that you’ll need to wash really thoroughly afterwards to get silicone lubricant off your hands, genitals, and any other body parts it has found its way to. It doesn’t just rinse away like a water-based product will. I prefer to make time to jump in the shower after using silicone lube if at all possible.

The best thing about silicone lube? It lasts for-freaking-ever. Because it does not absorb into the body or dry up quickly, you really only need a small amount and it will last and last. This means that, though it might seem small, your little 55ml bottle will last you much longer than you think.

Überlube Review: Other Uses for Silicone Lube

Did you know that silicone lubricants like Überlube aren’t just for sex? For example, many athletes swear by Überlube to prevent chafing when they are working out. Similarly, one writer tried it as a solution to thigh chafing when wearing dresses and skirts in the summer and reports that it worked beautifully and lasted all day.

The other recommended use for Überlube was as a skincare and haircare product. After seeing how it leaves my hands (and various other parts of me) feeling, I can definitely see myself reaching for it when my skin needs a little pick-me-up. It’s far too slippery for an all-over moisturiser, and silicone can cause problems for skin when used in excess, but it’s ideal for soothing smaller patches of dry or irritated skin.

It also works well for taming my hair. I can’t use too much of products like this because my hair is naturally quite oily, but a tiny little bit rubbed between my fingers and then run over the ends of my hair helps to smooth down frizz and add a little extra bounce and shine. Functionally it works very similarly to a standard hair serum. If anything, this stuff felt a little lighter than my usual serum of choice (Frizz Ease by John Frieda, if you were wondering.)

A truly versatile product!

What to Know About Using Silicone Lubricant

There are lots of advantages to silicone lube. There are also some things to be aware of if you haven’t used it before.

Überlube is longer-lasting than most of the water-based lubes I’ve reviewed and does not dry out quickly, making it ideal for activities where you need plenty of lube for a long period of time. I really like using it for fisting for this reason. Many people also swear by it for anal sex. Because it’s not water-soluble, it is an ideal choice if you are having sex in water.

You can use silicone lube for pretty much any sexual activity including vaginal, anal, oral, or hand sex. For oral sex, try not to ingest too much of the lube but also don’t worry about it too much because a little bit likely won’t do you any harm. It is best not to use silicone lube with silicone toys as it can damage them. However, you can use it with plastic, glass, treated wood, ceramic, aluminium, or stainless steel toys.

Always, always, always check your lube’s compatibility if you are using any sexual health barriers such as condoms, dams, or gloves. Überlube is compatible with natural rubber latex and polyisoprene but not with polyurethane barriers, but not all brands will necessarily be the same.

If you spill any silicone lube on the floor, wipe it up immediately. It is very, very slippery and can make surfaces dangerous if you don’t (#askmehowIknow.) It can also stain your sheets if you spill it on the bed. Putting a towel down before you start can protect your sheets and save on cleanup time.

Überlube Lubricant Review: Verdict

I love this lube! Love it love it love it. My travel set is going to be going in my bag for every play party, weekend getaway or sexy date from now on. It feels great, and its lack of smell and taste make it completely unobtrusive. And as an added bonus, it even has additional uses as a haircare and anti-chafing product.

Buy Überlube Signature Bottles, Good to Go Traveler sets, and refills directly from Überlube. Überlube products are also available from retailers such as Good Vibes, Babeland, Shevibe, Stockroom, Sex Toys UK, and Condoms UK.

I’ll leave you with this gem from Mr C&K: “Überlube!? Did it arrive by taxi!?”

Thank you to Überlube for supporting this review with a free sample of their amazing silicone lubricant! This Überlube review contains affiliate links. All views, as always, are mine.

[Better Sex Products Review] For Play Couples’ Chocolate

Published on July 7, 2024March 18, 2026 by Amy

Whenever I encounter a sex-related thing I haven’t tried before, I immediately want to try it (and tell my readers all about it, obviously.) That’s why, when For Play Couples’ Sex Chocolate came across my social feed recently, I immediately fired off an email to founder Victoria to enquire about featuring them on my blog.

She was kind enough to send me some samples of her company’s products to try. We decided to publish this review today in celebration of World Chocolate Day.

Sex and chocolate are, after all, two of life’s greatest pleasures.

So What is For Play Chocolate?

For Play Chocolate came about when Victoria, a former CMO with an MBA, began to research the issue of sustaining intimacy in a long-term relationship. Drawing on research from an array of experts including Dr Karen Gurney and Emily Nagoski, PhD, she decided to create a product to “remind couples to make time for intimacy and play.”

Known variously as couples’ chocolate, sex chocolate, horny chocolate, and aphrodisiac chocolate, For Play chocolate kits are designed to help couples to connect, get in the mood for romance, and enjoy greater levels of intimacy.

Each box of For Play sex chocolate comes with six chocolates (three for each partner) and six “Play Cards”. The cards offer suggestions for erotic experiences to try, from taking a sexy shower together to experimenting with food play. There are also question cards to help you connect, reflect, and learn more about each other and your relationship.

The chocolates are labelled “His” and “Hers”, and there are boxes available for same-gender or different-gender couples. I’d love to see a non-binary or genderless version added to the range in the future, if possible.

For Play sex chocolate kits come beautifully packaged in sleek and stylish boxes in either pink, purple, or green. The chocolates themselves are beautiful, too, decorated with pink and bronze edible shimmer. The overall first impression is of luxury and high quality.

For Play’s products are vegan and made using ethically sourced 62% Ecuadorian dark chocolate. Their supplier is Original Beans chocolate, rated as a leading company by Chocolate Scorecard for environmental, sustainability, and labour practices.

How Does For Play Sex Chocolate Work?

For Play’s sex chocolate is super delicious, combining the sweet-bitter combo of quality dark chocolate with the infusion of subtle, natural botanical flavours. It melts smoothly in the mouth and the popping candy leaves a fun tingling sensation in its wake.

But how does it work?

Mr C&K had a long chat about this when we sampled our chocolates, and we came to the conclusion that this product works in two main ways. I’m going to call them “direct” and “indirect.”

The Direct Effects: The Science Bit

The direct way that For Play sex chocolate works is through its botanical and adaptogenic ingredients. To understand this better, we need to delve into the science a little bit.

An aphrodisiac, in the most basic sense, is “a food or drug that arouses sexual instinct, brings on desire, or increases sexual pleasure or performance” (Healthline.) Numerous foods, from oysters to strawberries and even hot chilli peppers, have been alleged to be aphrodisiacs throughout history.

Another common food thought to have aphrodisiac properties? Dark chocolate.

Little to no concrete scientific evidence directly links most common aphrodisiac foods to an increase in sexual desire. However, this doesn’t mean there is nothing to the concept at all. Experts have attempted to explain aphrodisiacs’ apparent benefits through various means, from simple placebo to the sensual pleasure of consuming delicious things, the “luxury” status that society affords some of these foods, and the impact on bodily functions that play a role in sexual activity and desire (such as blood flow and dopamine release.)

Some foods and edible compounds, therefore, may play a role in sexual functioning in various ways. Let’s look at the active ingredients in For Play’s couples’ chocolate and what the research has to say about them.

Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate like the kind For Play uses has often been associated with sex, sensuality, and desire. is rich in both antioxidants and caffeine, both of which can improve blood flow. It also contains L-arginine, which may enhance sexual responsiveness. A 2021 systematic review suggested that “l-arginine, as part of a combination product, may be considered for the treatment of women with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, regardless of age.” (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder or HSDD is, broadly, a lack of sexual desire or very low desire that causes distress or negatively impacts your life.)

Consuming chocolate also triggers the release of chemicals such as endorphins and dopamine, which are associated with feelings of happiness and wellbeing.

Maca

Maca, which comes from the Peruvian maca root plant, has long been thought to boost fertility and sexual desire. One 2002 study indicated an improvement in self-perception of sexual desire in men after 8 weeks of maca use. Another pilot investigation also indicated that treatment with maca extract increased sexual desire amongst male athletes. Maca is only in For Play’s “For Him” chocolates, as there is currently more evidence for its effectiveness in (cis) men.

Ashwagandha

Ashwagandha is a herb that originated in India and has been utilised in various ways for centuries. A 2015 pilot study showed that ashwagandha root extract could improve sexual functioning in otherwise healthy cis women. Another 2022 study indicated that treatment with ashwagandha provided a “statistically significant improvement” in sexual functioning amongst women with HSDD. Ashwagandha is in For Play’s “For Her” chocolates.

Fenugreek

Fenugreek, a clover-like herb that belongs to the pea family, finds use in both cooking and herbal medicines. One study found that “Sexual function analysis for all women… found that treatment with fenugreek resulted in reported increases in sexual arousal and desire in women” (Tester, 2015.) Another double-blinded and placebo-controlled 2021 study found that fenugreek “offered significant beneficial effects to sexual problems” amongst its female participants.

Korean ginseng

Ginseng is a vasodilator, or something that opens the blood vessels. By increasing blood flow in this way, it can have sexual benefits such as helping with erectile dysfunction. A small 2002 study and a 2008 systematic review found “suggestive evidence for the effectiveness of red ginseng in treating ED.” Likewise, a placebo-controlled double blind 2010 study found that “Oral administration of KRG extracts improved sexual arousal in menopausal women.”

In a Nutshell…

A product like For Play sex chocolate for couples is a helping hand, not a magic bullet. If you’re stressed out, angry at your partner, or suffering from the sexual side effects of health problems or medication, it isn’t going to magically override all that and make you horny. No food or substance can, because human sexuality is way more complicated than that.

What its ingredients can do, though, is give your body a natural nudge in the right direction. Combined with creating the right conditions for pleasure and intimacy – which we’ll discuss more in the next section – these adaptogenic ingredients can work with your body to enhance intimacy and pleasure.

For Play notes that you should seek medical advice before using their products if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or taking any medications. And, of course, you should avoid this product if you are allergic or sensitive to any of the ingredients.

The Indirect Effects of For Play Sex Chocolate: Finding New Ways to Stay Connected

The indirect way that For Play Chocolate works is all about creating the time, space, and physical and emotional context for greater intimacy in your relationship.

Sex, after all, is mental at least as much as physical. In her life-changing book Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski writes extensively about the devastating impact that life stress, mental health challenges, lack of trust, lack of emotional safety, and feelings of pressure can have on sexual desire. To connect better with our partners and ourselves, we need to reduce stress, feel safe and seen, and make space for desire and pleasure.

Staying connected and keeping intimacy, passion, and sex going in a long-term relationship can be challenging. New relationship energy (NRE) naturally fades over time into the more comfortable, cosy warmth of long-term love. This is particularly true when you’re married or nested, your lives are very entangled, or you’re raising children together.

It is important for couples to set time aside to focus on each other and their relationship. Exploration, adventure, and trying new things can all help to keep the spark of novelty alive. With those things and a little effort, the long haul can be where the really good stuff is. There’s nothing like completely knowing someone and them knowing you inside and out, and choosing each other every day.

Using a product like For Play sex chocolate can help couples to create that all-important time together. It can facilitate the conditions needed for intimacy of all kinds – including sexual, physical, and emotional – to flourish.

For Play Couples’ Chocolate is really a date night in a box. You get to set aside dedicated time for your relationship, enjoy some tasty treats together, and explore new ways of connecting. There are even some suggested Spotify playlists to help set the mood.

I found the question cards particularly great for this aspect of the experience. The question prompts sparked some interesting discussions and also plenty of laughter. Even seemingly simple questions (“What does intimacy mean to you?” was my favourite) can get you thinking and talking about things in a different way.

Verdict

I really enjoyed this product, which is far more than just a gimmick. A lot of thought and care has gone into the formulation and creation of For Play’s kits. The quality of the chocolate, ethical credentials, and beautiful presentation really elevates them, too.

For Play sex chocolate retails at £28 per couples’ kit. That’s less than you’d pay for a meal in a mid-range restaurant or about what you’d pay for a couple of drinks in a nice bar. Since you only need one chocolate each time, you’ll get three experiences out of one box. And, of course, you can continue to use the cards for as long as you like.

A thoughtful (and tasty) romantic gift or a cute way to set aside a little “us time” with your partner. There’s also a 30 day satisfaction guarantee with your purchase.

Shop For Play Couples’ Chocolate here.

Thanks to For Play for sponsoring this review and sending me a box of their sex chocolate for couples to test. All views are, as always, mine. Professional product images by For Play and reproduced here with permission.

Close up of green dress with a "100% recycled fabric" label, for a post on sustainable style as a femme

Five Ways I’m Trying to Increase Sustainability in My Femme Style

Published on April 29, 2024March 21, 2026 by Amy1 Comment

My identity and presentation as a femme is tremendously important to me. Femme is not just a way of dressing, but a way of sharing who I am with the world. It’s an inherently queer identity and my femme style is a way of living in and embodying my queerness every day. However, like many of us in recent years, I’ve also been thinking more about my impact on the planet and how to express my style in a more sustainable way. So, in collaboration with slow fashion brand IDENTITY LINGERIE, I wanted to talk about some of the changes I’ve made.

Acknowledgement and disclaimer: Before I dive in, I want to acknowledge that to a certain extent many sustainability practices (including those I have listed here) require privileges that many people do not have access to, including money and time. It is also not ultimately possible for individuals to save the planet. The biggest changes must come from corporations and governments. This list is not a prescription or a set of instructions, and you know best what is possible for your life. This is simply what works for me. I’m also far from perfect and frequently fail to live up to the high standards I set for myself. No ethical consumption under capitalism, etc.

Breaking Up with Fast Fashion

Fast fashion—brands that churn out massive quantities of ultra-cheap, throwaway clothing—is one of the world’s most polluting industries. It also exploits workers and harms animals. For all these reasons, I no longer buy new fast fashion items. Sustainable alternatives to new fast fashion if you like a particular style include thrifting pieces, finding alternatives from sustainable brands, or getting creative with items you already own.

Fast fashion brands encourage damaging practices like unnecessary impulse buys, large “hauls” of things that will be worn once or twice (or never worn), and fashions that change overnight.

Buying (and Selling/Donating) Second Hand

I love getting new clothes and shoes, but I actually very rarely buy anything apart from underwear brand new any more. My town has a large number of charity and second-hand shops, and I often find nice pieces at bargain prices there. I also spend far too much time browsing apps like Vinted and Depop and watch-listing things, a small fraction of which I’ll eventually buy. My favourite recent finds include a fabulous leather jacket and some Lucy & Yak rainbow dungarees.

I just had a major clear-out of clothes I no longer wear. I’m going to sell on a few bits, and the rest I’ll either pass on to friends, take to clothing swaps, or donate to charity. That way, they’re not either languishing in the back of my wardrobe or creating more waste, and can instead be worn and enjoyed by someone else.

Of course, second-hand clothing isn’t totally without its issues (delivery emissions when you buy or sell online being the obvious one, and it’s still possible to over-consume thrifted items), but it’s one way to reduce clothing waste and reduce purchases of new items while enjoying style in a more sustainable way.

Buying More Versatile Styles for Sustainable Rewearing

I enjoy getting creative with my presentation. For this reason, I love clothes, shoes, and accessories I can wear multiple ways. One of my favourite dresses at the moment is a simple one that I can dress down with leggings and a cardigan, make playful with fun tights and stompy boots, or dress way up with a petticoat, a waist belt and heels for a wedding or date.

For me, part of the fun of sustainable femme style is creating different looks by mixing and matching the same items in different ways.

I recently got this gorgeous green multiway dress from IDENTITY LINGERIE. IDENTITY is a slow fashion brand that makes lingerie, nightwear, dresses, and more, all while following zero-waste practices. This dress is wearable in so many different ways that it feels a bit like a new dress every time I put it on. The multiway bridesmaid dress trend has been popular for bridal parties for some time, but I think they’re a great choice for anyone looking to get more mileage out of one garment.

Buying Recycled and Upcycled Materials

Materials is a really complicated one when it comes to clothing, and there are no easy answers here. It’s also very, very hard to totally avoid unsustainable synthetic fibres such as polyester, nylon, and viscose. Some natural materials, such as cotton and bamboo, also present issues. The more sustainable alternatives can be expensive and hard to find, not to mention the confusion of wading through the muddy and often conflicting information out there.

One thing I’ve started trying to do, though, is look for more recycled and upcycled materials. This is a great way to support the “rescue” of materials that would otherwise end up in landfill.

For example, I recently reviewed a range of polyurethane (PU) leather accessories. PU is, in itself, pretty terrible environmentally. However, that particular brand manufactures its styles entirely from recycled materials, creating a sustainable alternative use for waste. I’ve also tried some gorgeous eco-friendly lingerie pieces over the years, many of which I still love.

Switching to Eco-Friendly Bathing & Beauty Products

Glitter is, of course, a staple of my personal femme style. But the wrong glitter products can also be hugely harmful to the environment. For that reason, you will only ever find eco-friendly, biodegradable glitter in my makeup bag.

I’ve tried to switch to more eco-friendly bathing and beauty products recently, too, including shampoo bars, mineral sunscreen, and products made without palm oil. This is in addition to my policy of not buying anything that was tested on animals.

Sustainable Style as an Ongoing Project

I’m sure I will keep learning more about sustainable style and eco-friendly practices, adjusting my habits as I go. None of us are (or can be) perfect. What matters is that we learn, grow, and try to do better every day.

IDENTITY LINGERIE gifted me the piece featured in this post. All views and writing, as always, are mine.

A woman wearing a black half-face mask, black bra, and black leather body harness. Text reads: Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE review

[Accessories Review] Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Faux Leather BDSM-Inspired Accessories Review

Published on April 24, 2024March 22, 2026 by Amy

Whether you’re looking to take your kink party look to the next level or just add a little fetish-inspired glamour to your wardrobe, accessories can make your outfit. MAZE is a line of BDSM-themed vegan leather accessories from Bijoux Indiscrets including harnesses, headpieces, cuffs, and more. They sent me a selection of pieces to test and review.

Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE box and interior packaging

MAZE: Ethical Glamour?

Every Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE product is made of PETA-certified vegan polyurethane (PU) faux leather. PU leather is controversial because, though it is not made from animals, it is a type of plastic made from petrochemicals which have a terrible impact on the environment.

However, Bijoux Indiscrets’ MAZE range is made from recycled materials that would otherwise have ended up in landfill. For ethical and environmental reasons, I don’t usually buy new plastic-based faux leather items. But, since this material was already out there in the world and would otherwise have gone to waste, I feel comfortable wearing and recommending the MAZE range.

Ultimately, like real leather, you’ll have to consider your personal values and make your own decisions when it comes to PU leather.

The Look and Feel of Bijoux Faux Leather

Bijoux’s faux leather is soft and supple, looking and feeling remarkably like the real thing. The only thing missing is that unmistakeable leather smell.

Based on my experience with the various MAZE pieces I’ve tried it wears well——softening up just a little over time—and requires minimal maintenance to stay looking good as new. If you need to clean your MAZE accessories, a damp cloth and a little gentle soap is all you need.

Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE O-Ring Collar

The black faux leather Maze collar on my desk.

There are all kinds of elaborate, ornate and fancy BDSM collars available. However, sometimes elegant simplicity is what’s called for. The MAZE O-ring collar is a slender black band with a simple ring at the front, which is both decorative and functional (ideal for attaching a leash, for example!)

The MAZE collar is comfortable and easy to wear. On its first outing, I wore it all evening at a party, and it was so comfy that we were half way through our two hour drive home before I remembered I was still wearing it.

I like the simple fastening mechanism on this collar. Instead of a buckle, you close it by poking a small peg through one of the holes. The Bijoux Indiscrets O-ring collar is adjustable from a minimum circumference of 12.2″ up to a maximum of 16.14″, to fit the vast majority of wearers.

Pair your MAZE collar with a leash and cuffs for kinky play, with a harness for bondage-inspired glamour, or with some nipple pasties for burlesque-style sex appeal.

The MAZE collar retails for $30/£23.

Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Hand Harnesses

Woman's hand wearing Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE hand harness

The Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Hand Harness is a bracelet that’s worn around the wrist with an additional strap extending to a finger loop. They come in a set of two.

I really love these hand harnesses. They’re incredibly sexy in an unexpected way, just vanilla enough to wear in public but just kinky enough to draw a second glance. I like them as an easy way to enhance a simple all-black outfit with a little bondage-inspired twist. As someone who uses my hands a lot in an expressive way when I talk, I love having them accessorised like this. They’re comfy to wear, too, and do not impede my ability to use my hands normally.

If you like, you can also use the Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Hand Harness as a kink tool. Why not clip them together to hold your partner’s hands behind their back, or attach a leash to one of them through the centre ring?

Unfortunately, the MAZE Hand Harness is not particularly size-inclusive. Although the wristband is adjustable from 6.3″ up to 7.87″, the finger loop is not adjustable and is pretty small. I have fairly small hands even for a cis woman, and the finger loop was slightly too snug to be truly comfortable. It did loosen a bit with wear, but it is right on the limit of what I could wear comfortably. Anyone with hands larger than mine—which includes a lot of AFAB people and the vast majority of AMAB people—would not be able to wear it comfortably.

A set of two hand harnesses retails for £31/€35.

Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Leg Garters

Woman's leg in Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Leg Garter

The Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Leg Garters consist of two bands that sit just below the knee and around the ankle. A central strap runs up the back of the calf and connects them. They come in sets of two.

Like the MAZE hand harnesses, I find these sexy in a unique way. The calves and lower legs are not areas we often think to accessorise, which I think is a shame. An accessory that draws the eye to that part of the body adds an unexpected focal point to a look.

The MAZE Leg Garters are versatile, too. They look great with stompy boots and fishnet tights, but equally good with a short skirt and killer heels or even over a pair of skinny jeans. In fact, they’ll draw attention to your legs in just about any outfit and you can style them in tonnes of different and fun ways.

Again, though, size inclusion is a major problem. The band that goes around the knee is adjustable from 11.42″ to 13.78″. The ankle band is adjustable from 6.69″ to 9.84″. I can wear the leg garters on the loosest setting at the top and second loosest at the bottom. But again, a large majority of people with bigger bodies will simply not be able to wear them. Some MAZE products come with extenders, but these do not.

A set of two leg garters retails for £40/€45.

MAZE Cross Cleavage Faux Leather Harness

Bijoux Indiscrets Faux Leather Chest Harness in black

The Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness sits around the waist with straps over the shoulders and a criss-cross design across the chest. Though it’s described as a “cleavage harness”, it’s totally wearable by people both with and without breasts. This piece is available in black or light brown.

The MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness is adjustable around the waist as well as over the shoulders, so you can get a comfortable fit for your body. The criss-cross section sits close enough to the centre of the chest that it should be comfortable even for people with larger breasts to wear.

Bijoux Indiscrets Faux Leather Chest Harness official product picture featuring a model wearing the harness under a blazer

In terms of sizing, I’m coming back to my consistent complaint about size inclusiveness again. The MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness fits waist sizes from 60cm (23.62″) up to 94cm (37″.) With the black harness only, you’ll get an extra extender that can add up to 25cm (9.84″) extra. I’d love to see these pieces made available in a wider range of sizes. I’d also love to see the brown version come with extenders, too.

The Cross Cleavage Faux Leather Harness is pretty androgynous in its style. This means you can pair it with an array of outfits to create the aesthetic you want—femme, masc, or anywhere in between. It works well with other fetishwear items such as latex, lingerie or corsetry (I think it would look spectacular over an underbust corset) or as a standout piece on its own. Thanks to the detailed design, it also pairs well with simple garments such as a plain t-shirt, dress, or blazer. It’s a real statement accessory that can elevate a basic outfit to a bold and memorable look.

The MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness retails for €60/£54.

MAZE Multiway Faux Leather Body Harness

The Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Multiway Harness is a body harness that can be worn in multiple different ways. It has four straps that connect to an O-ring in the centre. Bijoux shows a couple of variations for ways to wear the harness on the product page, but honestly there aren’t really any wrong ways! Wear it however feels good to you. This piece is also available in both black and light brown.

The MAZE Multiway Harness is adjustable and, depending on your body shape and how you wear it, can either hug the contours of your body or hang more loosely.

The neck straps are adjustable from 23cm (9.05″) up to 44cm (17.32″), and the waist is adjustable from 130cm (51″) up to 151cm (59.44″). Considering it wraps around twice, the standard harness will work for anyone with up to around a 30″ waist. If you order the black, you’ll also get two 20cm (7.87″) extenders.

Though I like the inclusion of the extenders, I would really like to see this harness made available in a wider range of sizes. I’d also like to see Bijoux using models with more diverse body sizes. That’s why I’ve included the pictures of me wearing the harness above, so you can see how it looks on a different body type.

Model wearing the Bijoux Indiscrets Multiway Harness — Image: Bijoux Indiscrets

Woman wearing the Bijoux Indiscrets Maze Multiway Faux Leather Body Harness over a grey top

As with the other Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE harness, this is a versatile and fundamentally fairly androgynous piece you can style in many different ways. I’m currently planning an outfit involving this harness over a corset, paired with leather trousers and my Doc Martens.

I love this piece and its versatility. I think I’ll be getting a lot of wear out of it!

The MAZE Multiway Harness retails for €60/£54.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these pieces from the MAZE accessories range to try. All views are, as always, mine. This post contains affiliate links.

A woman's mouth seductively licking a heart-shaped lollipop. Text reads: Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Review

[Massage & Better Sex Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex

Published on January 20, 2022April 2, 2026 by Amy

“No fiction, no acting, no judgements, no comparisons, no fear, no guilt nor shame”—so begins the Bijoux Indiscrets “Slow Sex” manifesto, which adorns the packaging of each product in the Slow Sex range of intimacy and better sex products, which I recently received to review. Definitely a message I can get behind!

Of course, sex is complicated. Fear, judgement and shame are very real for too many of us. I still experience them even as someone who makes a living by talking and writing openly about sex. It’s going to take far more than a range of products to fully tackle the deep, systemic issues that allow sexual shame to run rampant.

Even so, in a world where so many companies (even purportedly sex-positive ones) profit from shame and stigma, I’m glad to see an adult retailer encouraging people to move away from these destructive ideas and towards more authentic pleasure.

I received a selection of items from the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex range to try out.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Range: General Impressions

Each full size Slow Sex product comes beautifully presented. It comes in eco-friendly cardboard packaging featuring artistic close-ups of body parts and sometimes floral motifs.

Collection of Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex products

The Slow Sex range also doesn’t use any gendered marketing! Each product is described by referencing body parts and sex acts, without ascribing gender to them. It sounds like a small thing, but simply writing “the clitoris” instead of “her clitoris” or “use it on your partner” rather than “use it on your man” makes sexuality product marketing so much more inclusive.

With the exception of the oral sex strips, all the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex products I tried for this review have a strong and distinctive coconut aroma. I enjoy the smell and taste of coconut, so this was fine. But if you don’t, it’s something to be aware of. The scent is pretty noticeable and does tend to hang around after you’ve finished playing!

Everything in the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex range is cruelty-free and vegan.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Clitoral Balm Review

The Slow Sex product I was most excited to try was the clitoral balm. So naturally that’s where I went first.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Clitoral Balm comes in a little 10ml tube. This doesn’t seem like much, but you only need a tiny amount so this tube will last you a while.

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm contains a pretty long list of ingredients. Check it carefully before use if you’re allergic or sensitive to anything. There’s nothing in the ingredients that immediately strikes me as problematic. It does contain glycerin, but for an external-only product that you use in tiny amounts, I don’t really mind.

Honestly, I was underwhelmed by this product. I really wanted to love Bijoux Indiscrets’ clitoral balm, especially as I’ve reviewed and loved various similar products in the past, but it didn’t do much for me. I got a slight warming sensation, which was pleasant enough. But it didn’t really enhance sensitivity or give me any noticeable increase in pleasure. If you enjoy warming lubes, this is a slight step up from that, but it’s not much more. I’ll probably finish this tube, but I’m unlikely to buy it again.

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm retails for £15/$17. According to Bijoux, it’s compatible with all toy types and with latex barriers.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Finger Play Gel Review

The Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is basically a water-based lube designed for external use, particularly for hand sex (i.e. fingering or hand-jobs.) It contains just a few ingredients, of which the main ones are glycerin, water, and aloe vera leaf juice. Given the high glycerin concentration, I won’t be using this one internally and I’d advise that you don’t either.

The Finger Play Gel is a gorgeously thick lubricant. It lasts well, and a little goes a long way. Its thick texture and slipperiness make it perfect for hand sex. It’s easy to clean up with warm water and soap, though it does get sticky after a while. After use, my skin felt soft and moisturised, probably thanks to the aloe. It has a pleasant, subtly sweet taste.

Slow Sex Finger Play Gel retails for £15/$17. With just 30ml in a tube, it’s pretty pricey, but it should last you a while. Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is condom-compatible and suitable to use with all toy materials.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel comes in a little 10ml glass tube with a roller ball applicator. Simply apply a little to your nipples and then stimulate them as you normally would. The gel gives a subtle cooling, tingling sensation.

I found that the Nipple Play Gel slightly heightened sensitivity. When I applied it then went about my day, it made me more aware of my nipples—and particularly the feel of them against my clothing—than I’d normally be. Potentially fun if you want to heighten your arousal throughout the day. I found that one application lasted about an hour before the effect wore off.

It also increases sensitivity if you’re doing nipple play with hands, toys, or clamps. But this stuff really comes into its own when combined with oral nipple stimulation. The cool gel combined with a warm mouth makes everything feel much more intense. And since the gel has a sweet taste, it’s not unpleasant for the giver, either! (Assuming they like coconut.)

The Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel is water-based and does not contain any ingredients that are toxic or problematic for topical use. It’s easy to wash off when you’re done and leaves a gentle coconut scent on the skin.

Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel retails for £15/$17.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm

I was highly sceptical about the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, as was Mr C&K, but we kept an open mind and decided to give it a fair chance for this review. It comes in a 10ml tube and I was expecting a liquid or thin gel, but it’s really more of a thick paste. I had to massage it between my fingers to get it to melt enough to use.

The packaging suggests applying Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm to your lips right before giving a blow job, or applying it directly to the penis. To get the full effect, we did both. I’m not sure most people would feel much if you only did the former.

First, the good: it definitely had an effect! My partner described it as a cooling sensation, which is likely caused by the menthol it contains. When you’re doing oral sex, the contrast between this cooling and the warmth of a mouth can be very interesting. He also reported that it did increase sensitivity slightly, and that it felt like sensation continued after the point of orgasm.

Then the less-good: Since Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm is an oil-based product, it’s not suitable for use with any latex barriers. And given that I wouldn’t want several of the ingredients in my vagina, it also means it’s not really possible to go from oral to vaginal sex without cleaning up in between. I really dislike the sensation of anything oily or sticky on my hands, so I had to wipe this off with a tissue immediately after applying it.

Also worth noting: the coconutty/minty smell and taste is VERY potent. It’s not unpleasant but if, like me, you like to experience the scent and taste of your partner’s body, this is definitely going to mask that.

Overall, a mixed experience but definitely more positive than we were expecting.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm retails for £15/$17.

Slow Sex Oil Based Full Body Massage Gel

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel comes in an attractive glass bottle. With 50ml in the bottle, it definitely feels like one of the more substantial Slow Sex products. Slow Sex Massage Gel is oil-based and designed for all-over massage.

The packaging says you can use it “anywhere and everywhere” and the website describes it as genital-compatible, so if your massage turns erotic you’re good to go. Again, I’d recommend that you keep it external only. This massage gel is also suitable for use in water and is compatible with silicone sex toys and latex barriers.

This is probably my favourite product in the entire Slow Sex range. It is slick without being sticky, and does not leave any nasty residue behind. As a bonus, it leaves my skin feeling lovely and moisturised (and coconut scented!) It also lasts ages, as a little bit goes a long way once it’s on the skin.

I also like that Slow Sex Massage Gel comes in a pump bottle, which is much more user-friendly and less spillage-prone than the bottles massage oils usually come in.

Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel retails for £18/$23.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips

If you’re asking “what on earth is an oral sex strip?”, well, so was I! Turns out they’re little paper-thin minty strips that are designed to go on your tongue and then melt while you’re performing oral sex. Like the Oral Sex Balm, the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips have a strong minty flavour (spearmint oil is one of the main ingredients.) They taste like something you’d use to brush your teeth or freshen your breath.

The sensation is… interesting. Much like the Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, the main appeal of these strips is that they provide a contrast between the cooling sensation and the warmth of a mouth. However, they melt very quickly so the intense effect only lasts for maybe a minute or so. You do get some of the effect for a while afterwards as the mint lingers on your body, but you only get maybe a maximum of 5 minutes out of each strip.

These were fine, but I wasn’t blown away. They heightened sensitivity somewhat, but not to such an extent that they can make or break the experience. And to be honest, I’m going to repeat something I said above. If I’m going down on a lover, I want to taste them, not a mouthful of mint.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips retail for £6/$7 for a pack of 7.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle comes in a little tin. It is made of body-safe, skin-friendly, and plant-based ingredients. The main ingredients include Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis oil, Cocos Nucifera (coconut) oil, and Shea butter.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex massage candle in its box

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle melts quickly once you light it. I had plenty of usable oil within less than a minute after lighting. When I wanted to top up on oil mid-massage, it took no more than 10-15 seconds of the candle being lit to get the amount I needed. The box says to light it for 15 minutes but honestly, unless you want the entire thing melted, that’s not even close to necessary. Any oil you don’t use will just harden again as it cools, ready for next time.

Both my girlfriend and I loved the subtle coconut scent of this candle. It’s distinctive without being obtrusive or overpowering, and helps to create a lovely romantic, relaxed vibe as it permeates your space. Our skin felt wonderfully soft and moisturised after trading massages, and I still kept catching little whiffs of the scent hours later.

I often struggle with oily sensations for sensory reasons, but the Bijoux Indiscrets Massage Candle’s oil doesn’t leave my skin feeling unpleasantly greasy because it soaks in so well. An oil-based product that doesn’t have me running to wash it off my hands? That’s an achievement in itself.

Because there’s no wax in this candle, you can also use it as a moisturiser or as a fragrant addition to a bath if you like.

For the avoidance of doubt, this is not the same as a wax play candle. The melting point of the oils is much lower than that of paraffin or even soy wax, meaning that—even if you drip it from very close to your partner’s skin—you’ll get a pleasant warmth rather than an “ouch.”

The oil will start to harden again as it hits the body, but as soon as you run your hands over it, it’ll melt again and start to be absorbed into the skin as you massage. This means that, unlike with wax play, there’s little to no cleanup afterwards.

Due to the oils it contains, this massage candle is not compatible with latex or polyisoprene (though it’s okay with polyurethane.) This means you’ll need to be careful if you’re using barriers such as condoms or dams.

I also didn’t love the slight black residue you get on the inside of the tin and across the top of the candle when it’s been burning a few minutes. It doesn’t really get on your skin in any noticeable way, but it looks a bit yuck.

Depending on how generous you like to go with your oil, you’ll probably get 4-5 massages out of one candle. You could make it last a little longer by going lighter on your coverage, but more is definitely more here in my experience!

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle retails for £18/$22.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these Slow Sex products to test in exchange for an honest review.