[Cosmetics Review] Eye of Love After Dark & One Love Pheromone Perfumes

A year ago, I’d never heard of pheromone perfumes. Now, suddenly, they seem to be absolutely everywhere. The hashtag #pheromoneperfume has been used over 33,000 times on TikTok and 57,000 times on Instagram at the time of writing this post. In my last Eye of Love review, I tried out the Red Diamond and Black Diamond scents. This week, I also received the Eye of Love After Dark and One Love pheromone perfumes to try out.

What is Pheromone Perfume?

Pheromones are chemical substances that some animals secrete in bodily fluids (such as sweat and urine) and which play a role in attracting a mate. Some believe that much the same is true for humans though, as we’ll cover in the next section, this is far from conclusive.

The thinking behind pheromone perfume, then, is that by applying synthetic pheromones to our bodies we can become more attractive to members of the gender(s) we’re attracted to. Eye of Love has created a range of scents based on this premise, including these two from the company’s Classic Collection.

All Eye of Love pheromone perfumes are certified vegan and cruelty-free.

Does Pheromone Perfume Actually Work?

Anecdotally, a lot of fans seem to believe that pheromone perfumes work. Service staff report getting better tips, single people say they’ve been hit on more often while wearing the perfume, and some users simply describe a sense of people being unusually nice to them.

But why is that?

The science for pheromone perfumes having a direct impact on attraction just isn’t there. But even more than that, there’s actually still uncertainty about whether or not humans even have pheromones (or, if we do, if they have any impact on attracting a partner in the same way they do for some animals.)

In my last Eye of Love review, I delved into some of the relevant science relating to pheromone perfumes. I recommend having a read, because it’s interesting stuff – I certainly learned a lot in writing it!

In short, spraying some perfume on isn’t going to make you irresistible to members of your preferred gender(s.) But that doesn’t mean the perfume is useless. Here are a few things that might happen:

  • If you believe in the effects of the perfume, you might carry yourself with more confidence. This means you’ll project the open, flirtatious vibe of a person who knows they’re desirable and wants to be approached. In other words, it’s a simple placebo effect in action.
  • Wearing a scent that makes you feel sexy can, likewise, help you project sexiness outwardly.
  • Scent can be incredibly erotic, so wearing a nice perfume can itself increase people’s attraction to you.
  • Other ingredients in the perfumes might be having a positive impact on your mood. For example, some plant compounds and essential oils are associated with calmness and relaxation. This can make you come across as more open, welcoming, and approachable.
  • Confirmation bias. In other words, you expect to be more attractive wearing the perfume, so you notice attention from others more than you normally would (even if the actual type or amount of attention you’re receiving hasn’t changed.)

In other words, go in with realistic expectations.

Did Pheromone Perfumes Work for Me?

Personally, I don’t believe pheromone perfumes are going to help me meet the woman of my dreams (which is probably good because right now I’m so not ready that I wouldn’t know what to do even if she fell right in my lap, but that’s neither here nor there.)

What I do believe in, though, is using cosmetics – including perfumes – to feel more like myself, evoke the kind of mood I want to project, and boost my confidence. I find scent powerful, and I do feel myself walking a little taller and smiling a little more when I know my makeup looks good and I smell nice.

There’s even something a little bit magical in spraying on something from a bottle labelled “attract her.” The perfume probably won’t, in itself, attract her (whoever she is)… but maybe, when the time is right, I can?

Eye of Love “After Dark”

Eye of Love After Dark and One Love pheromone perfumes in boxes

With all of that said, let’s look at the two fragrances Eye of Love sent me. Eye of Love After Dark is described by the company as:

Sharp. Sexy. Bold. Want your evening to end with more than just a kiss? After Dark is the perfect scent to accompany you on a nighttime tryst or bring the passion back to life with your partner.

Eye of Love

After Dark is definitely the sexier of these two fragrances. It contains top notes of galbanum oil, lily and grapefruit, middle notes of white chocolate and jasmine, and base notes of costus root, ambergris, and vanilla. The florals don’t come out as strongly as they do in some fragrances, and the overall effect is quite sultry. It calls to mind the kind of kiss you share at the end of an amazing date, the kind of kiss that you just know is leading to a lot more.

This perfume feels quite androgynous to me, which isn’t always my personal vibe. However, I actually like this one more the longer I wear it. The initial sharpness wears down, leaving a warm fragrance with just a hint of underlying sweetness.

Eye of Love “One Love”

Eye of Love After Dark and One Love pheromone perfumes

Eye of Love describes One Love as “refined femininity at its peak”. It contains top notes of orange, middle notes of jasmine, rose and lily, and base notes of musk, ambergris and vanilla. For me, the vanilla comes through the most strongly when I first apply the perfume. Over the next few hours as it settles onto my skin, it mellows and the rose and lily take centre stage.

One Love is a light, floral, and summery scent. It’s a fragrance I’d spritz on for a picnic date with a cutie in the park or to sit outside and drink cocktails on a sunny patio (the latter being exactly what I did with a friend the first time I wore this fragrance!) It evokes long warm evenings, long fruity drinks, and smelling the flowers on the nighttime breeze as we walk home.

This one is ultra femme and pleasingly easy to wear. It also lasts well, with a distinctive scent still detectable on my skin many hours after applying it.

Where to Buy

You can buy Eye of Love After Dark and One Love pheromone perfumes directly from the company. They each retail at £20 for a 10ml travel size tube and £44 for a full size (50ml) glass bottle.

Thanks to Eye of Love for sending me these products to try. All views and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Five Ways I’m Trying to Increase Sustainability in My Femme Style

My identity and presentation as a femme is tremendously important to me. Femme is not just a way of dressing, but a way of sharing who I am with the world. It’s an inherently queer identity and my femme style is a way of living in and embodying my queerness every day.

However, like many of us in recent years, I’ve also been thinking more about my impact on the planet and ways to increase sustainability in my life. So let’s talk about five ways I’m trying to express my femme joy in a more sustainable way.

Acknowledgement and disclaimer: Before I dive in, I want to acknowledge that to a certain extent many sustainability practices (including those I have listed here) require privileges that many people do not have access to, including money and time. It is also not ultimately possible for individuals to save the planet – this must come from corporations and governments. This list is not a prescription or a set of instructions, and you know best what is possible for your life. This is simply what works for me. I’m also far from perfect and frequently fail to live up to the high standards I set for myself. No ethical consumption under capitalism, etc.

Breaking Up with Fast Fashion

Fast fashion – brands that churn out massive quantities of ultra-cheap, throwaway clothing – is a huge contributor to damaging the planet. It also exploits workers and harms animals. For all these reasons, whenever I have a reasonable choice, I’m determined to no longer buy new items from fast fashion brands.

If you buy fast fashion because it is accessible to you, in terms of pricing or available sizes, please don’t feel bad even for a second. That’s not what this section is about. What I’m talking about here is the companies and culture that encourage unnecessary impulse buys, large “hauls” of things that will be worn once or twice (or never worn), and fashions that change overnight.

Buying (and Selling/Donating) Second Hand

I love getting new clothes and shoes, but I actually very rarely buy anything apart from underwear brand new any more. My town has a large number of charity and second-hand shops, and I often find nice pieces at bargain prices there. I also spend far too much time browsing the Vinted app and watch-listing things, a small fraction of which I’ll eventually buy. My favourite recent finds include a fabulous leather jacket and some Lucy & Yak rainbow dungarees.

I just had a major clear-out of clothes I no longer wear. I’m going to sell on a few bits, and the rest I’ll either pass on to friends or donate to charity. That way, they’re not either languishing in the back of my wardrobe or creating more waste, and can instead be worn and enjoyed by someone else.

Of course, second-hand clothing isn’t totally without its issues (delivery emissions when you buy or sell online being the obvious one), but it’s one way to reduce clothing waste and reduce purchases of new items.

Buying More Versatile Styles

I love clothes, shoes, and accessories I can wear multiple ways. For that reason, I’ve started looking for more versatile items when I shop. One of my favourite dresses at the moment is a simple one that I can dress down with leggings and a cardigan, make playful with fun tights and stompy boots, or dress way up with a petticoat, a waist belt and heels for a night out.

For me, part of the fun of femme style is creating different looks by mixing and matching the same items in different ways.

I also recently got this gorgeous green multiway dress from IDENTITY LINGERIE, a “slow fashion” brand that follows zero-waste practices. It’s wearable in so many different ways that it feels a bit like a new dress every time I put it on. The multiway bridesmaid dress trend has been popular for bridal parties for some time, but I think they’re a great choice for anyone looking to get more mileage out of one garment.

Buying Recycled and Upcycled Materials

Materials is a really complicated one when it comes to clothing, and there are no easy answers here. It’s also very, very hard to totally avoid unsustainable manmade fibres such as polyester, nylon, and viscose. Some natural materials, such as cotton and bamboo, also present issues. The more sustainable alternatives can be expensive and hard to find, not to mention the confusion of wading through the muddy and often conflicting information out there.

One thing I’ve started trying to do, though, is look for more recycled and upcycled materials. This is a great way to support the “rescue” of materials that would otherwise end up in landfill.

For example, I recently reviewed a range of polyurethane (PU) leather accessories. PU is, in itself, pretty terrible environmentally. However, that particular brand uses entirely from recycled materials that would otherwise have created waste. I’ve also tried some gorgeous eco-friendly lingerie pieces over the years, some of which are amongst the most worn in my collection.

Switching to Eco-Friendly Bathing & Beauty Products

Glitter is, of course, a staple of my personal femme style. But the wrong glitter products can also be hugely harmful to the environment. For that reason, you will only ever find eco-friendly biodegradable glitter in my makeup bag.

I’ve tried to switch to more eco-friendly bathing and beauty products recently, too, including shampoo bars, mineral sunscreen, and products made without palm oil. This is in addition to my policy of not buying anything that was tested on animals.

What are your favourite eco-friendly and sustainable femme essentials, friends?

[Accessories Review] Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Cross Cleavage Faux Leather Chest Harness

This is the last (for now) in my series of reviews of Bijoux Indiscrets’ MAZE line, which includes not just the harnesses I’ve written about this week but also the cat ears and collar I covered years ago. I don’t think it’s any secret by now that I absolutely love this range! Today we’re looking at the Cross Cleavage Faux Leather Chest Harness.

MAZE Cross Cleavage Faux Leather Harness

Like everything in the MAZE range, the Cross Cleavage Harness is made from a faux polyurethane (PU) leather from recycled materials. This means it is both eco-conscious (PU is highly environmentally problematic, so reusing it and keeping it out of landfill is good news for the planet) and certified vegan. I wrote a little more about the question of PU leather in this review.

The PU leather Bijoux uses is both comfortable to wear and, minus the distinctive scent, a convincing approximation of animal leather. It wears well, gaining just a little softness and suppleness over time, and is easy to maintain. If it needs cleaning, some gentle soap and a damp cloth will do the job. Otherwise, just store it in the box it comes in and you’re all set.

Bijoux Indiscrets Faux Leather Chest Harness official product picture featuring a model wearing the harness under a blazer
Image: Bijoux Indiscrets

The Cross Cleavage Harness sits around the waist with straps over the shoulders and a criss-cross design across the chest. Though it’s described as a “cleavage harness”, it’s totally wearable by people both with and without breasts.

Like the rest of the range, the MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness is available in both black and a light tan brown called “camel.”

Fit

The MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness is adjustable around the waist as well as over the shoulders, so you can get a comfortable fit for your body. The criss-cross section sits close enough to the centre of the chest that it should be comfortable even for people with larger breasts to wear.

In terms of sizing, I’m coming back to my consistent complaint about size inclusiveness. The MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness fits waist sizes from 60cm (23.62″) up to 94cm (37″.) With the black harness only, you’ll get an extra extender that can add up to 25cm (9.84″) extra. I’d love to see these pieces made available in a wider range of sizes. I’d also love to see the brown styles come with extenders, too!

Woman wearing the Bijoux Indiscrets Faux Leather Chest Harness over a grey shirt

Since the models shown on Bijoux’s page are very thin, I’ve included the above picture of me in the harness so you can see what it looks like on a curvier frame.

How to Style the MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness

Like some of the other MAZE pieces I’ve tried, the Cross Cleavage Faux Leather Harness is pretty androgynous in its style. This means you can pair it with an array of outfits to create the aesthetic you want – femme, masc, or anywhere in between.

The bondage-inspired style means it’d work well in a kink club or sexy party setting, but you can just as easily style it for a vanilla nightclub or party if that’s more your jam. It works well with other fetishwear items such as latex, lingerie or corsetry (I think it would look spectacular over an underbust corset) or as a standout piece on its own.

Thanks to the detailed design of this harness, it also pairs well with simple garments such as a plain t-shirt, dress, or blazer. It’s a real statement accessory that can elevate a basic outfit to a bold and memorable look.

I wear a lot of v-neck and plunge neck tops for sensory reasons (I can’t stand having anything around my neck for extended periods of time.) This harness works beautifully with those, drawing attention to the chest and adding some super-sexy decoration.

The MAZE Cross Cleavage Harness retails for €60 (£53/$64.)

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me the MAZE Cross Cleavage Faux Leather Chest Harness to try. All views are, as always, mine. This post contains affiliate links.

[Accessories Review] Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Multiway Faux Leather Body Harness

I’m back again with another review from Bijoux Indiscrets’ MAZE line, following on from the hand harness and leg garters, cat ears, and collar. Today we’re looking at the MAZE Multiway Faux Leather Body Harness, which is available in both black and tan.

MAZE Faux Leather Body Harness

The MAZE Multiway Harness is a faux leather body harness made of polyurethane (PU) leather. It is certified vegan and, though PU itself is a highly problematic material from an environmental perspective, the MAZE range is made from recycled materials that would otherwise have gone to waste. (I talk about that a little more in my last MAZE review.)

Model wearing the Bijoux Indiscrets Multiway Harness
Image: Bijoux Indiscrets

This multiway body harness has four straps that connect to an O-ring in the centre. Two of the straps go over the shoulders and cross at the back before wrapping around the waist, the other sits across the ribcage just below the chest. Bijoux shows a couple of variations for ways to wear the harness on their website, but honestly there aren’t really any wrong ways! Wear it however feels good to you.

Bijoux’s recycled PU faux leather looks and feels lovely, and very convincing. It does “wear in” to an extent, becoming softer and more supple with wear, but not to the same degree that real leather does. It also doesn’t have that lovely leather smell. Otherwise, it’s a very good approximation of the real thing and a great choice if you’re looking for something animal-free. It is comfortable to wear and feels good against the skin.

Upkeep of your MAZE harness is also easy – just clean it with a little gentle soap and a damp cloth, dry it thoroughly, and store it in the box it comes in.

Fit

The MAZE Multiway Harness is adjustable and, depending on your body shape and how you wear it, can either hug the contours of your body or hang more loosely.

Woman wearing the Bijoux Indiscrets Maze Multiway Faux Leather Body Harness over a grey top

The neck straps are adjustable from 23cm (9.05″) up to 44cm (17.32″), and the waist is adjustable from 130cm (51″) up to 151cm (59.44″). Considering it wraps around twice, the standard harness will work for anyone with up to around a 30″ waist. If you order the black, you’ll also get two 20cm (7.87″) extenders.

Back view of the Bijoux Indiscrets Maze Multiway Faux Leather Body Harness worn on a woman over a grey top

Though I like the inclusion of the extenders, I would really like to see this harness made available in a wider range of sizes. I’d also like to see Bijoux using models with more diverse body sizes. That’s why I’ve included the pictures of me wearing the harness above, so you can see how it looks on a different body type.

Ways to Style the MAZE Multiway Harness

Everything in the MAZE line is inspired by a BDSM/bondage aesthetic. As such, this incredibly sexy piece would be totally at home in a fetish club or at a sex party. Honesty, if you were feeling daring you could construct an entire outfit from nothing but MAZE harnesses and accessories.

Of course, there are also plenty of other ways you could style it! It could dress up a casual, jeans-and-t-shirt look or a simple dress, add a kinky twist to lingerie, or take your fetishwear to the next level. I’m currently planning an outfit involving this harness over a corset, paired with leather trousers and my gayest stompy boots.

The MAZE Multiway Harness is also pretty genderless. Thanks to the adjustability and the different ways it can sit on the body, plus all the different outfit permutations you can pair it with, it’s entirely possible to easily construct a femme, masc, or androgynous look with it.

I love this piece and its versatility. I think I’ll be getting a lot of wear out of it!

The MAZE Multiway Harness retails for €60 (£53/$64.)

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me the MAZE Multiway Faux Leather Body Harness to try. All views are, as always, mine. This post contains affiliate links.

[Accessories Review] Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Hand Harness & Leg Garter

Years ago, I got to try out the cat ears and collar from Bijoux Indiscrets’ MAZE range and loved them both. This month, Bijoux was kind enough to send me another shipment of MAZE products to try out!

What is MAZE?

MAZE is Bijoux Indiscrets’ line of BDSM-themed vegan leather accessories including harnesses, headpieces, and kink gear such as cuffs, collars and leashes.

Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE box and interior packaging

Vegan Leather: Yay or Nay?

Every MAZE product is made of certified vegan polyurethane (PU) faux leather. PU leather is controversial because, though it is not made from animals, it is a type of plastic made from petrochemicals which have a terrible impact on the environment.

However, Bijoux strives to be a socially and environmentally conscious company and use recycled materials that would otherwise have ended up in landfill. For ethical and environmental reasons I have adopted a personal policy against buying any items made from new PU leather. But, since this material was already out there in the world and would otherwise have gone to waste, I feel comfortable wearing the MAZE range.

Ultimately, like real leather, you’ll have to consider your personal values and make your own decisions when it comes to PU leather.

Bijoux’s faux leather is soft and supple, looking and feeling remarkably like the real thing. The only thing missing is that unmistakeable leather smell (if someone finds a way to realistically synthesise that, please let me know!) Based on my experience with the MAZE pieces I’ve had for a few years, it wears well – softening up just a little over time – and requires minimal maintenance to stay looking good as new. If you need to clean your MAZE accessories, a damp cloth and a little gentle soap is all you need.

With all that said, let’s look at the first two items I received from the Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE range.

Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Hand Harness

Woman's hand wearing Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE hand harness
(Please ignore my horrible nails. I’ve been too unwell to go for a manicure lately!)

The MAZE Hand Harness is a bracelet that’s worn around the wrist with an additional strap extending to a finger loop.

I really love these harnesses. They’re incredibly sexy in an unexpected way, just vanilla enough to wear in public but just kinky enough to draw some looks when you do. I like them as an easy way to enhance a simple all-black outfit with a little bondage-inspired twist. As someone who uses my hands a lot in an expressive way when I talk, I love having them accessorised like this.

If you like, you can also use the Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Hand Harness as a kink tool. Why not clip them together to hold your partner’s hands behind their back, or attach a leash to one of them through the centre ring?

They’re comfy to wear, too, and do not impede my ability to use my hands normally.

Unfortunately, I have to say that the MAZE Hand Harness is not particularly size-inclusive. Although the wristband is adjustable from 6.3″ up to 7.87″, the finger loop is not adjustable and is pretty small. I have fairly small hands even for a cis woman, and the finger loop was slightly too snug to be truly comfortable. It did loosen a bit with wear, but it is right on the limit of what I could wear comfortably. Anyone with hands larger than mine – which includes a lot of AFAB people and the vast majority of AMAB people – would not be able to wear it comfortably.

I love the look and design of these products, but they’re made for thin people. This is very disappointing from an otherwise inclusive and forward-thinking brand.

A set of two hand harnesses retails for €35.

Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Leg Garter

Woman's leg in Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Leg Garter

The MAZE Leg Garter consists of two bands that sit just below the knee and around the ankle. A central strap runs up the back of the calf and connects them.

Again, I find them sexy in a unique way. The calves and lower legs are not areas we often think to accessorise, which I think is a shame. An accessory that draws the eye to that part of the body adds an unexpected focal point to a look.

The MAZE Leg Garters are versatile, too. They look great with stompy boots and fishnet tights, or equally good with a short skirt and killer heels. In fact, they’ll draw attention to your legs in just about any outfit and you can style them in tonnes of different and fun ways.

Again, though, size inclusion is a major problem. The band that goes around the knee is adjustable from 11.42″ to 13.78″. The ankle band is adjustable from 6.69″ to 9.84″. I can wear the leg garters on the loosest setting at the top and second loosest at the bottom. But again, a large majority of people with bigger bodies will simply not be able to wear them. Some MAZE products come with extenders, but these do not.

A set of two leg garters retails for €45.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these items to review! All views, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Cosmetics Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Aphrodisia Body Mist

I recently reviewed the Bijoux Indiscrets Aphrodisia Orgasm Enhancer and loved it. So today I’m looking at another product from this range: the Aphrodisia Body Mist.

Aphrodisia Body Mist

Aphrodisia is Bijoux Indiscrets’ new range of scented products which includes the orgasm enhancer and this body mist as well as a massage oil, a 2-in-1 massage and intimate gel, and a massage candle.

My Body Mist arrived beautifully presented in black and gold packaging decorated with flower motifs, matching the floral notes in the fragrange. The Body Mist comes in a gorgeous black spherical glass bottle with an old-fashioned fabric bulb to spray it on. The presentation is top-notch and luxurious, especially considering the very reasonable price-point.

Bijoux Indiscrets Aphrodisia Body Mist - black spherical perfume bottle with old fashioned bulb squeezer

Like all Bijoux Indiscrets products, Aphrodisia Body Mist is vegan and cruelty-free. The formula is also alcohol-free.

Scent & Mood

Aphrodisia is a floral scent consisting of rose, ylang ylang, and jasmine as the primary notes. It’s very floral and feminine, elegant yet still light and wearable.

The thing I like the most about fragrances is the stories, moods, and images they can invoke. When I spritz on a new scent, I like to close my eyes for a second and ask myself, who am I when I’m wearing this perfume? Where does it transport me to in my mind?

The story that the Aphrodisia scent tells me is one of fanciness imbued with sensuality. It makes me think of attending a black tie event wearing a ballgown, but with a little something extra… perhaps I’m wearing the tiniest, laciest underwear imaginable. Perhaps I’ve snuck on a body harness under my dress. Or perhaps I’m simply subtly making eyes at my lover across the room to let her know I’m already thinking about her ripping the dress off me when we get home.

The scent of the Aphrodisia Body Mist is strong and distinctive when you first apply it – you really only need a spray or two. It mellows out over the hours as you wear it, but I’ve never found that I needed to reapply it. This means the 100ml bottle will last you ages.

Verdict

Aphrodisia Body Mist retails for €35 ($40 or £31.) I love this perfume, and I can’t believe how well-priced it is! No matter what I’m doing or where I’m going (or not going), it’s a lovely scent I can spray on when I want just a little extra fanciness in my day.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me the Aphrodisia Body Mist to try. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Cosmetics Review] Eye of Love Pheromone Perfume

Scent is powerful. It can evoke feelings, stir memories, and play a major role in the sensory experience of arousal and sex. That’s probably why pheromone perfume is having a big moment right now. There are 33.5k posts carrying the #pheromoneperfume tag on TikTok and 57.5k posts on Instagram at the time of writing. So when I got offered some Eye of Love pheromone perfume products to try out, I couldn’t wait to delve into what this viral craze is all about.

What Are Eye of Love Pheromone Perfumes?

Eye of Love Pheromone Perfume in Black Diamond (left) and Red Diamond

To understand what pheromone perfumes are, we first have to understand what pheromones are.

In short:

Officially named in 1959, pheromones are chemical substances that are secreted outside of the body in fluids like urine and sweat. Essentially, pheromones are a hidden form of communication. They send signals from one individual to another of the same species. This triggers a response in the individual receiving those signals, such as a hormonal change or specific behavior.

– Healthline

Interestingly, there is still a gap in scientific understanding when it comes to exactly how, or even if, pheromones work in humans. According to one paper from 2013 published in Facts, Views and Vision in ObGyn, “Many examples exist in animals but their role in humans remains uncertain since adults have no functioning vomeronasal organ, which processes pheromone signals in animals.” Deb Levine, MA and Stephanie Watson, writing for WebMD, say, “It’s not clear how the [pheromone] process works in humans. We do have VNO organs, but they’re small and may be too poorly developed to process pheromones like the VNO organs in animals can. More likely, we process these signals through our olfactory system.”

Pheromone perfumes, then, operate on the assumption that – like animals – humans use pheromones to increase their sexual attractiveness to potential mates. These fragrances contain synthetic versions of the substances that are commonly called human pheromones. The idea, then, is simple. Wear them and people will be more attracted to you.

Eye of Love pheromone perfumes utilise two key compounds that have been deemed to be human pheromones or to have a pheromone-like effect in humans: estratetraenol and androstenol.

All Eye of Love pheromone perfumes are vegan and cruelty-free. They smell yummy, as we’ll discuss more a bit later. But do they actually work?

Do Pheromone Perfumes Really Work?

Eye of Love’s pheromone perfume can supposedly help you “be more attractive. Be more social. Be more successful.” It’s a lofty claim.

There’s a lot we don’t understand about how attraction works. And, as we established in the section above, there’s also a lot we also don’t understand about how (or if) pheromones work in humans. So whether or not these perfumes “work” in any scientific sense isn’t really provable right now.

And look, I’m inherently somewhat cynical. As a general rule, I don’t believe in things for which I cannot see meaningful evidence.

Anecdotally, pheromone perfumes do seem to have a positive impact for many people. You’ll hear stories about service staff doubling their tips when they wear pheromone perfume, people getting asked out at the shops, and people suddenly having way more sex with their long term partners when they start using these products.

Is that down to the perfume, though? Honestly, until there’s more robust scientific backing behind the pheromone phenomenon, I’m going to assume it’s a placebo affect. If you believe something is going to make you more attractive, you’ll act like a person who believes themselves to be attractive. This, in itself, can be highly desirable and can draw people to you in a way that might make you think “wow, it’s the pheromones!”

Let’s not forget the fact that simply smelling nice can be a turn-on to many people, too. When I see a woman I find attractive, smelling a nice perfume on her as she walks by can make her even sexier.

Shawn Talbott, PhD, quoted in a piece by Charlotte Hilton Anderson, MS, for The Healthy, also points out that “We know that plant compounds, like lavender and chamomile, can be used to reduce stress and enhance relaxation. So if stress is interfering with mood and suppressing libido, then we can use ‘plant pheromones’ to reduce stress. And if you’re less stressed then maybe your sex drive increases a bit.” In other words, the perfume might be having an impact but possibly not in the way you think.

What I’m really saying is, if you’re going to try pheromone perfumes, go in with realistic expectations. You’re not going to just spritz this stuff on and instantly become irresistible to everyone of your preferred gender(s) who lays eyes on you. (That’s fairytale love potion silliness and even if it was real, it would be highly ethically questionable!)

What you might find, though, is that you find a little more confidence. A little more of your own, internal and unique brand of sexiness. And that can be just as magical, if not more so.

Eye of Love Matchmaker Collection

The Eye of Love pheromone perfume Matchmaker Collection consists of two scents: Black Diamond and Red Diamond. Red Diamond is marketed more towards straight women and other people looking to attract men, while Black Diamond is marketed towards straight men and other people looking to attract women. (There are LGBTQ+ versions of each also available – mine both say “Attract Her” – though I’m unclear on whether there’s any actual difference in the product! I assume they contain different pheromones according to the genders of the people you’re trying to attract.)

Ultimately, though, both scents (like all scents!) are gender-neutral and for whoever feels good wearing them.

Eye of Love “Black Diamond”

Eye of Love Pheromone Perfume in Black Diamond

Eye of Love describes Black Diamond as “a bold blend of cedar, blackcurrant, and lemon. Undertones of oak, white amber, and musk.” I’m kinda wary of describing scents using gendered language, but this one feels decidedly masculine to me.

When I first put it on, the cedar is the main thing I can smell. I actually like this one more when I’ve been wearing it for a couple of hours and it’s had time to mellow out on my skin. At that point, the fruity scents start to come out a little more.

Black Diamond is definitely sexy. This one calls to mind dark corners in atmospheric cocktail bars, leaning over to kiss a soft butch girl whose lips taste of whiskey. It calls to mind the black leather and dark wood of the swankiest BDSM dungeons I’ve been to, of the tug of restraints around my wrists and the slap – slap – slap of a flogger across my back.

Ultimately, I think I enjoy this perfume best on someone else rather than on myself. Black Diamond is a lovely scent, I just don’t think it’s my scent.

Eye of Love “Red Diamond”

Eye of Love Pheromone Perfume in Red Diamond

Eye of Love describes Red Diamond as “a sensual blend of jasmine, grapefruit, and amber with a touch of citrus.” There are also middle notes of lily and blackcurrent and base notes of musk and vanilla. It feels femme and flirty, and calls to mind the way that summer sunshine always makes me want to fuck.

This one feels far more at home on my skin. I like the way it softens over the hours I’m wearing it, leaving me feeling like I’m wearing a bouquet of fruit and flowers.

Red Diamond is sexy, too, but in a very different way to its counterpart. If Black Diamond is kissing in a dark corner of a cocktail bar, then Red Diamond is flirting at a wholesome coffee shop while thinking about alllllll the terribly non-wholesome things I would like to consensually do to the pretty femme across the table.

This one smells good enough that I’ll seriously consider buying more when my sample bottle runs out.

How Did I Feel Wearing Them?

I tried Eye of Love pheromone perfume at an… interesting time. I’m not dating at the moment, mostly because I’m still recovering from the most brutal breakup of my entire life. So opportunities for trying them out in traditionally “sexy” contexts were few.

However, I did manage to find a few chances to try them out. For example, I wore Black Diamond to a kink play party with Mr C&K and Red Diamond to a munch. I’ve also been wearing them around the house to see if they can help to lift my mood amidst my endless fog of post-breakup depression, even if just for a moment.

Who doesn’t feel more confident with a sprizt of a scent that makes them feel most like themselves? Confidence is the sexiest thing of all to many people, and it’s something I have been sorely lacking in the last couple of months.

This perfume didn’t help me find the next great love of my life. But it did help me to briefly remember what it feels like to see myself as sexy, attractive, and desirable. And right now that’s something.

Where to Buy

You can get each Eye of Love Pheromone Perfume from the Matchmaker range individually (£24 for 10ml in a tube or £44 for 30ml in a gorgeous glass diamond-shaped bottle), or a set of both (£41 for two 10ml tubes) directly from the company’s shop.

Thanks to Eye of Love for sending me these products to try. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear within these posts.

[Lube, Cosmetics & Massage Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Bubblegum Play Kit

One of the fun things about being both a femme and a sex blogger at this time of year is seeing all the sweet, cutesy, pink-and-hearts-and-flowers themed products that companies are putting out for Valentine’s Day. Bijoux Indiscrets were kind enough to send me this year’s Valentine’s offering from their range: the Bubblegum Play Kit.

Bijoux Indiscrets Bubblegum Play Kit

The Bubblegum Play Kit contains three products: a warming massage oil, a full-body massage gel that doubles as a water-based lube, and a lipgloss. Each one is scented and flavoured like bubblegum. All three products, like everything in Bijoux’s range, are vegan.

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum play kit

The kit came packaged in a cute pink box with a heart on the front, much like the packaging you might get on a gift set of cosmetics or bath products. The overall effect, like the products themselves, is sweet to the point of saccharine. But how did the contents stack up? Let’s take a closer look at each item.

Warming Massage Oil

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum massage oil

This isn’t really an oil in the true sense of the word. As far as I can tell, it doesn’t actually contain any oil at all. It’s really a water-based gel that warms as you massage it in. Still, we’ll call it “massage oil” to distinguish it from the other massage product in this kit.

For me, it takes about a minute to feel the massage oil warming on my skin. You’ll get a more intense warming sensation if you blow gently on it.

I found that it didn’t really blend or get fully absorbed into the skin the way some massage oils do. Instead, it tends to linger on the surface. This can be a good thing, as a little bit goes a long way and there’s no need to keep reapplying it. However, it can also be a problem if you don’t enjoy the feeling of having oil or gel lingering on your skin.

This is by far the nicest tasting of the three products. It’s very, very, very sweet, so you’ll want to know that going on. That sweetness is likely due to its first ingredient: glycerin. Due to the glycerin, I found that my hands and skin felt quite sticky after using it and I wanted to wash it off.

Stickiness aside, though, this is a fine massage gel and the sweet bubblegum taste and pink aesthetic gives it a fun and playful vibe.

You can buy this gel separately for €22. It’s also available in caramel & sea salt and strawberry & honey flavours.

Full Body Massage Gel/Lube

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum massage gel/lube

According to Bijoux Indiscrets, this water-based massage gel can double up as an intimate lubricant. It has quite a long list of ingredients, so you’ll want to review it carefully to make sure there’s nothing you’re sensitive to.

I can’t see anything alarming in the ingredients, but I’m also not enough of an expert to declare them all definitely fine. At the very least this gel/lube contains no glycerin or parabens, though it does contain “Aroma” (artificial fragrance/flavour) which is not very specific and can include any number of things.

I do quite like the feeling of this one. It’s somewhere between a thick liquid and a thin gel, and it spreads across the skin nicely and lasts well. However, unlike the massage oil, this gel tastes really unpleasant to me. Instead of sweetness, it’s got a horrible chemical-y taste. I’m quite sensitive to artificial sweeteners and I can really, really taste them in this.

I probably won’t finish this one, honestly. I’m “meh” on flavoured lubes to begin with and this isn’t a nice tasting one.

Oral Pleasure Lip Gloss

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum lipgloss

This lip gloss is more subtly flavoured than the other two products in the set, but still has a distinctive bubblegum flavour. It’s not quite as sweet as the massage oil (which is probably a good thing for a product that goes directly on your mouth!)

After you apply it, you start getting a tingling sensation thanks to the peppermint oil it contains. I think, based on the name, the idea is that you put it on and then perform oral sex with it. I haven’t had the opportunity to try that but I did try putting a bit on my vulva, just to see what the effect would be. It gave a kinda pleasurable tingly, warming feeling a bit like a warming lube or menthol pleasure balm. So that effect might translate if you used it during oral?

The warming and tingling is really noticeable on my lips, to the point that it becomes uncomfortable if I use too much. You really only need a little bit of this one.

This lipgloss lasts well and gives a nice glossy shine. It’s a little sticky, which wasn’t a problem once it was on but made applying it with my fingers annoying. A brush or wand would be better than the pump top bottle.

Verdict

I generally liked two out of the three products in this kit and will definitely finish them. However, at €60 it’s pretty pricey for what it is. For that reason I don’t think I’d buy it again.

If you have a femme in your life who really likes pink things and bubblegum, though, it could be a cute and sensual Valentine’s Day gift.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me this product to review! All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Five Fabulously Femme Things I Wore to Eroticon 2023

I’m now home after my trip to London for Eroticon 2023, my fourth Eroticon overall and the first one back since before the pandemic. I’ve returned brimming over with ideas, inspiration, and gratitude for these amazing people (the #eroticommunity?) and this magical space where we can all come together.

There are lots of things I want to say and do post-Eroticon, and there will be more content coming in the next few days. But one of the most joyous things about this weekend was getting to femme it up to the max and wear some things that make me feel gloriously myself.

I’ve been wanting to write more about femme things and femme identity for a while, so this seems like a good place to start. Here’s the story behind five things I wore to this year’s Eroticon.

The Bat Dress

Rule the Night bat dress by Heartless

Mr C&K found this dress for me in our local branch of Blue Banana and I immediately knew I needed to own it. Between the bats (insert “batting for both” joke here) and the multi-coloured pink/purple/blue tie-dye, it just feels like a supremely bisexual garment to me. It got its first outing at BiCon 2022 and it always makes me happy to wear it.

Plus it has pockets. Yay pockets.

Dress is “Rule the Night” by Heartless.

Sapphic Pride Necklace

Sapphic pride necklace by The Gay Glass Stall

I recently wrote about feeling increasingly connected with the term “sapphic” to describe my sexuality. It feels like a joyful way to claim and centre my attraction to women and to intentionally remove the male gaze from my queerness.

I found this gorgeous glass sapphic pride necklace at the BBB just last month, and I’ve worn it most days since. I almost never see this particular flag on merchandise, so it’s lovely to own and wear a little bit of sapphic pride.

Necklace is by The Gay Glass Stall.

Rainbow Ears

Fluffy rainbow cat ears, Pride cat ears

Being a pseudonymous blogger, I wear one of the “no photos” lanyards at Eroticon. However, I was amused to see that one of my ears had made it into the corner of this photo by Calandra Balfour.

I wore cat ears at my very first Eroticon, where I thought that they might help me to feel less shy and maybe act as a conversation starter. What I did not expect was that they’d become a sort of calling-card that I’d be known and remembered for years later. This fluffy rainbow set seemed the only appropriate choice for an Eroticon taking place during Pride month!

Rainbow cat ears were from Ice Nine.

Face Glitter

Glitter makeup pots

I just really like glitter, okay? After trying on lots of different ways to describe my aesthetic and presentation goals, I eventually settled on #sparklefemme. This involves leaning into the more glittery and over-the-top elements of the femme aesthetic in a way that feels quite deliberately queer. Getting to be outwardly sparkly during Eroticon helped me to feel more inwardly sparkly, too.

I particularly enjoyed getting to make other people glittery at the evening socials, including my flatmate for the weekend Violet, Exhibit A and Livvy as well as their daughter M, and Girl on the Net. And for anyone who might be reasonably concerned about the environmental impact, don’t worry – biodegradable glitter only here!

Face glitter set came from Etsy. That particular brand no longer seems to be available but there are lots of similar alternatives.

Sparkly Turquoise Shoes

Sparkly turquoise Irregular Choice shoes

I absolutely adore these shoes. They “go” with pretty much nothing, and yet I will happily wear them with almost anything. I got so many compliments on them over the weekend and it made me happy to wear them.

I have a chronic pain condition in my feet which means that wearing heels for any length of time is difficult for me and can leave me in pain for days. Sadly, this can mean that a lot of fabulous shoes are off limits. So finding sparkly, glittery, gorgeous footwear in FLATS is always an exciting things.

Sparkly shoes are a long-discontinued style from Irregular Choice’s “Bed of Roses” line that I picked up for £8 on Vinted.

Eroticon 2023 might be over, but you can read everyone’s post-event content over at the linkup and check out the official hashtag if you want to learn more about the event and what happened there.

Ten Things I’m Taking TO Eroticon

Many of you may remember last year’s Ten Things I Took Home From Eroticon blogging meme. Well, I decided to turn it on its head and, with just a week and a half to go until this year’s ‘Con, tell you a little about ten things I’m planning on taking with me this year.

1. My name

Last year’s Eroticon, I wasn’t Amy Norton yet. I was using a haphazard mix of my kink scene name, a diminutive of my legal name, and just “Coffee&Kink”/”CK.” I’d toyed with different names but none of them felt quite right.

This year, though, I’m comfortably sitting in this identity (so much so that select people in my offline life now call me Amy, and I love it).

Hi. I’m Amy. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

2. A schedule

Last year, I pretty much went in blind to Eroticon. I’d glanced over the schedule, but being a newbie I decided to mostly go with the flow and go to whatever felt right in the moment.

This time, though, I’ve got a much more curated workshops plan in order to get what I want the most out of the ‘Con. In case you were wondering, it is as follows:

Saturday:
Taboo (Remittance Girl)
Making Money from Your Blog (Kayla Lords)
Legal Tips for Sex Writers (Neil Brown)
Podcasting Panel (Kayla Lords & John Brownstone)
Different Approaches to Sex Toy Activism (Emmeline Peaches)
KinkLab

Sunday:
Is There a Book in Your Blog? (Cressida Dowling)
Getting It Up (Fetish.com)
Shocking the System (Kendra Holliday)
How to Give Responsible Sex Advice (panel)
Financial Wizardry for Sex Bloggers (Sarah Bryn Holliday & Sarah Jane)

Naturally, I’ll also be attending the Friday evening pre-drinks and the Saturday evening social. Other plans include a pre-‘Con run with Emmeline, dinner with Sarah, and food and recording a podcast with Kayla and John of Loving BDSM. Of course, my planned schedule is flexible if I find I’m really not in the mood for something at the time, but this is a good cross-section of stuff I want to learn plus all the workshops I consider unmissable this year!

3. The signature kitty ears

I wasn’t expecting these to be such a hit last year! To be honest, I wasn’t even expecting to be the only person in feline-themed headwear! I just wore them because they make me feel more confident and they help me to tap into my kinky, sexy, sparkly self. But I got so many compliments on them and people remembered me for them (I literally pitched an article to Girl on the Net with an email that included a sentence along the lines of “if you don’t remember me, I was the one with the ears.”)

Yeah, they’re definitely coming with me again this year. I might even pack a couple of different pairs. Yes, I have daywear ears and formal ears. Doesn’t everyone!?

4. The Catsuit of Joy

Remember this one? It was a review item/gift from my friends at Oscuro Adult Boutique and the cause of The Boobs That Made Straight Girls Question Their Heterosexuality.

Yes, I’m planning on wearing it on Saturday night. Yes, I will also be pairing it with the aforementioned signature ears. And yes, you have my full consent to stare at my chest as much as you like.

5. (Small) sex toys

I’m not interested in hooking up at Eroticon, but I did realise last year that hearing so much glorious smut during the day would inevitably lead me to needing to have a quick wank back in my hotel room before bed. Couple this with the fact that citalopram withdrawal has made my sex drive go a bit haywire this last week or so, and… yeah.

I’m gonna be short on packing space but I think the Tango and MiMi will fit nicely in my case.

6. Fabulous femme things

I can’t wait to get my femme on at Eroticon. I’m already planning makeup experiments of the kind I don’t normally attempt. There will be glitter, for sure, because I need to make the most of this opportunity as I am no longer allowed to wear glitter at home (you get it in the sofa ONE time…!)

There will also be jewellery, made for me by my sweetie The Artist, getting its first outing that weekend.

7. A portable coffee mug and good coffee

Um, hey. Have you met me? I’m obsessed with coffee and would probably replace my blood with it if I wouldn’t die. I just ordered myself an awesome new travel mug, which is coming with me and will be filled permanently with coffee in order to keep me going at top capacity through the whirlwind of the weekend. I’ll probably also bring a stash of coffee bags, because I find the coffee most venues serve leaves a lot to be desired. (Yes, I’m a snob.)

8. My Fuck.com notebook

This was in the goodie bags at Eroticon 2017 and it’s still my favourite notebook to scribble smutty notes in. I’ll be frantically taking notes and story ideas and sound-bites and hanging on every word my favourite presenters have to say!

9. Hugs to give out

There are so many people I want to cuddlepounce the fuck out of next weekend. I will be coming with my best hugging arms and ready to wrap them around anyone who consents.

10. Realness

Last night, I was panicking that I haven’t achieved all of the things I wanted to achieve ahead of this year’s Eroticon. I haven’t lost 50lb, or finished my novella. I haven’t quit my job to spend my days writing about dildos (okay, that one is a pipe dream rather than an actual plan) or completely weaned myself off my antidepressants. Hell, I haven’t even finished my PhD application!

But then I realised: it doesn’t matter. I can bring my realness to Eroticon. I can be a hot mess in all my hot, messy glory, and it will be okay. These are my people and this is my community and I can be both a fabulous, smut-loving #Sparklefemme AND an anxious wreck with a hefty dose of imposter syndrome. Both of these things can be true. It will be okay.

I think the theme of this Eroticon for me will be: I am.

If you’re there too, come say hello!

I’m very friendly. Talk to me about BDSM, sex toys, smashing the patriarchy, what you’re reading lately, musical theatre, coffee, sex ed reform, feminist fiction, femme identity or non-monogamy. Or just tell me about your work and I’ll lap it up.

The Eroticon 2018 rainbow lips badge

If you want to support my work and help me keep attending conferences like Eroticon, which are the highlight of my year but also expensive, you can buy me a virtual coffee or shop with my affiliates in the right-hand sidebar.