Tag: forced orgasm

A pink cowboy hat and pair of brown cowboy boots. Caption reads: VVD Rider Desire Sex Saddle

[Toy Review] VVD Rider Desire Sex Saddle

Published on by Amy

There are certain items I wanted to get my hands on for ages before finally managing to, and receiving them felt like a career milestone of sorts. (Then there are certain toys that I liked the idea of owning, but the reality was really annoying. Looking at you, 42lb sex doll I have absolutely no use for that is still taking up space in my guest room.) One category I’ve been keen to explore for forever? Ride-on toys like the vibrating saddle sex machine we’re looking at today.

A sex saddle is, essentially, a toy that you straddle. Most have a part that goes inside the vagina, and then another part that stimulates the clit. Some come with interchangeable attachments for different riding experiences. The Sybian and Cowgirl are probably the most famous iterations.

VVD recently reached out and offered to sponsor a review of their “Rider Desire” sex saddle. Obviously I immediately said yes. It looks a little something like this:

VVD Rider Desire sex saddle with pink dildo attachment
Image: VVD

VVD Rider Desire Saddle Sex Machine

VVD, or “Viva Desire”, is a women-led brand currently producing a small line of toys aimed at people with vulvas. Currently, the Rider Desire is VVD’s flagship product, along with the “VKini“.

VVD Rider Desire sex saddle box
Image: VVD

The Rider Desire is a vibrating saddle-shaped ride-on sex toy made of a combination of hard plastic and soft silicone.

The Rider Desire comes with three attachments: a simple vibrating dildo, a thrusting attachment, and a tapping attachment. It also has an external part that vibrates and “taps” against the clit. It can also be used without attachments, which I’ll get into in more detail below.

VVD Rider Desire attachments image and sex saddle viewed from above
Image: VVD

Though it comes in a sizeable box, the Rider Desire is actually both smaller and lighter than a lot of other sex saddles on the market. It measures 44cm/17.3″ in total length, 24cm/9.4″ in width, and 20cm/7.8″ in height, and weighs 1.9kg or 4.2lb. Not the smallest or lightest thing ever, but less cumbersome than many comparable products. I recommend keeping the box it came in for easy storage of the saddle and its components.

What I Liked About the Rider Desire Vibrating Saddle Sex Machine

Let’s start by saying that I think this is an excellent product. Genuinely super impressive. So what specifically did I like about it?

  • Everything that touches your body is made of soft and body-safe silicone.
  • I love that it’s cordless! This offers much more flexibility in where and how I use it.
  • I love that the three attachments offer such different experiences and sensations! They’re not just different sized iterations of the same thing. The first is a basic curved vibrating dildo with a rippling texture. One offers a “tapping” sensation against the G-spot, similar to products such as the Lovense Osci. And the third provides a thrusting motion.
  • Even better, you can use this toy without any of the attachments, if you like! I’m generally more of a clitoral stimulation girl than a penetration girl, and I love being able to ride the VVD Sex Saddle and enjoy its amazing external motor (more on that in a minute) without needing to have something inside me unless I want to.
  • Let’s talk about that motor! So many ride-on or dual stimulation toys treat clitoral pleasure as an afterthought, giving us weak and buzzy motors that are more likely to numb me out than get me off. Not so here! The motor is strong and rumbly, and the tapping function is reminiscent of the (utterly excellent) Hot Octopuss Pulse Queen.
  • The attachments affix to the toy using a magnetic mechanism with a cut-out ridge to ensure you’re positioning them correctly. This means they stay in place well and don’t come loose during use.
  • The shape of the Rider Desire vibrating saddle sex machine allows for a gentle rocking motion, which is particularly enjoyable for me as someone who really loves getting off by grinding on things.
  • It comes with a remote control, allowing you to change the settings easily or hand over control to a partner. There’s definitely potential here for teasing and edging games, orgasm control, forced orgasm play, and more if you’re into any of that.
VVD Rider Desire buttons and remote control

  • If you prefer to use the buttons on the toy itself, this is easy. The buttons are intuitively positioned on the front underside of the toy. They are large and easy to press, and the controls are simple and intuitive. There’s a button to turn the saddle on and off, a button to activate the clitoral stimulator, and a button to activate the internal attachments. And yes, you can use both functions separately!
  • There’s a nice “heating” function that warms up the saddle to 42-45°C. Mmm, cosy!
  • It can actually be used hands-free!
  • While I wouldn’t call the Rider Desire a quiet toy, it’s definitely quieter than many other “sex saddle” type products.

Things to Be Aware Of

Perhaps due to its size, the Rider Desire saddle sex machine doesn’t have an amazing battery life. A full charge takes around 3 hours and gives just one and a quarter hours of runtime on average.

If you have pain in your knees or hips, you may find it challenging to use the Rider Desire on the floor. Try supporting your knees with cushions, putting the saddle on the bed or other soft surface instead, or even putting it on a chair and using it in a sitting position rather than a kneeling position. The only right way to do this is the way that’s comfortable for you!

Though the internal attachments are super easy to clean with a sterile wipe or warm water and soap, the external portion is a bit of a pain to clean. There are lots of ridges and the toy is only IPX5 waterproof, meaning it can withstand splashes but should not be submerged. I use a body-safe medical wipe and take extra care to get all the little crevices.

Personally, I wish there were more constant speeds and fewer patterns for the external portion. Does anyone actually like patterns? In my little world of sex geeks, folks seem to pretty much universally hate them.

The weight limit of the Rider Desire vibrating saddle is 150kg or 330lb, so it may not be suitable for those in bigger bodies.

I don’t mind it so much, but my partner and metamour – who also tested the toy – disliked the bright pink colour and suggested it would look more luxurious in a shade like the darker purple of the main box and attachments box.

VVD Rider Desire Saddle Sex Machine: Verdict

Overall, I think it’s fair to say that I was far more impressed by the Rider Desire Sex Saddle than I expected to be. It has actually good motors, great attachments, and a relatively lightweight build as well as good finishing touches like the remote control and intuitive button positioning. The ability to use it without penetration is what really tips it from good to great for me.

In my metamour’s words: 8/10 would ride again!

The VVD Rider Desire Sex Saddle retails for $399 US at full price. My readers can get $20 off with code “coffee.”

Thanks to VVD for sending me this product and sponsoring this honest review. All views and writing are mine. Follow VVD on Instagram as @VVD_co1, on TikTok as @ohyesvvd, and on X as @VVD_official1.

UPKO remote control wand vibrator harness combo header image feauring a woman's legs in black high heels

[Toy Review] UPKO Remote Control Wand Vibrator Harness Combo

Published on by Amy

There are a lot of so-called hands-free vibrators on the market, from wearables to knicker vibrators and more. However, far fewer of them are actually hands-free in any meaningful sense. Most of them require at least some manual input to keep them in place. Since the main selling point of these toys is that they enable you to use your hands to do other things while using them, it’s always disappointing when they don’t work as advertised. As such, I am continuously on the hunt for hands-free toys that really are hands-free.

I love wand vibrators, as my long-time readers know. Big fan. However, sometimes I opt not to use one when I might otherwise have liked to because they’re also heavy and unwieldy. If I’m tired or having a bad pain day, holding one for the amount of time it takes to get off might not be feasible. For that reason, I’ve long been curious to try a wand vibrator harness.

UPKO kindly sent me their remote control wand vibrator and thigh harness combo to try. Let’s dive in!

UPKO Remote Control Wand Vibrator and Vibrator Harness

The UPKO Remote Control Wand Vibrator measures 12″ in length. Both the handle and the head are coated in body-safe silicone. It weighs in at a fairly heavy 380g.

UPKO remote control wand vibrator

The wand is IPX6 waterproof which means it should not be submerged. It is USB rechargeable and you’ll get around 90 minutes runtime from a 2 hour charge. Included is a remote control which works from a range of up to 10 metres.

The other part of the kit is a thigh vibrator harness. This is made of nylon and consists of two thick black bands decorated with gold coloured metal hardware and an embroidered UPKO insignia. The harness fastens with velcro straps and is adjustable up to around 22″ in the upper band and 18″ in the lower. Each band features a smaller strap that sits on the inside of the leg and is designed to hold the wand in place against the genitals.

UPKO wand vibrator harness

Bafflingly, the marketing copy for this set includes the phrase “wearing it in public triggers a strong sense of embarrassment.” Which isn’t technically untrue, I’m sure, but… wearing this in public would also trigger a strong sense of getting arrested for public indecency. It’s not a little insertable or knicker vibe, it’s a giant fuckoff wand. There is no universe in which you’re using this in public.

With that said, let’s look at the pros and cons of this set.

UPKO Wand Vibrator & Harness Kit: What I Liked

UPKO wand vibrator and vibrator harness combo box

  • It arrived beautifully packaged in a smart and sturdy branded box
  • There are six settings – two constant vibration speeds and four patterns – and dual controls so you can scroll through them in either direction.
  • The motor has a decent amount of power behind it (not the rumbliness I’d prefer, though – see below.)
  • The flexible neck makes it easy to turn and position the head whatever way works best for your body.
  • The vibrator harness holds the wand in place effectively. After a little experimenting with positions and the tightness of the straps, I was able to enjoy this toy truly hands-free.
  • The harness is also pretty comfortable to wear.
  • The texturing on the wand’s head adds to the clitoral stimulation it provides.
  • The hands-free nature of this set presents some intriguing – and kinky – possibilities. Why not combine it with other bondage fun such as cuffs or shibari, or use it for orgasm control or forced orgasm play?
  • The vibrator is fairly quiet even on its top setting, clocking in at under 55db.
  • The buttons are easy to press and satisfyingly clicky.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

  • The aesthetic is weird and dull. Why is it so grey? I suspect they were going for an elegant and classy vibe but it just doesn’t work for me.
  • The vibrations might be powerful, but they’re also pretty buzzy. I could get an orgasm out of this thing but it required a couple of pauses mid-session because it was starting to numb me out.
  • The harness is not as size-inclusive as it could be. The upper band is adjustable up to around 22″ in circumference but it would be trivial to add longer straps to make it suitable for bigger bodies.
  • The + and – buttons blend in with the surrounding silicone. Making them a different colour, more pronounced, or light-up would make them easier to use particularly in low light.

Verdict

This is not a bad kit for the price. You get a body-safe wand vibrator with a few different settings and a harness for a relatively affordable $129 (at the time of writing, on sale and down to $99.)

Ultimately, the wand itself is only mediocre and I’m unlikely to reach for it again. The harness, though, I do like. I’ll probably be trying it with other wand vibrators in my collection.

Thanks to UPKO for sending me this kit to review. As always, views and writing are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for a post on kink with sex toys

How to Make Sex Toy Use More Kinky

Published on by Amy

Given that I’ve somehow built an entire career out of talking about them (I know, it’s still totally bonkers to me too!) it will come as no surprise that I love both sex toys and kink a whole bunch. But what about all the fun ways you can combine them?

Using sex toys isn’t necessarily a kinky activity in itself though, as with anything else, what makes an activity “kinky” is mostly in your mindset around it anyway. Someone’s vanilla is someone else’s edge play. One person’s hardcore BDSM is another person’s average Friday night.

Whether you’re a kinkster who loves using toys or a toy aficionado who wants to bring a little more kink into your bedroom, why not try some of these fun strategies to kink up your sex toy use?

Play Edging and Denial Games

The reason most people use sex toys? Because toys make them cum. Often because toys make them cum faster, harder, or more easily than other types of stimulation. But what if – like me – you kinda get off on not getting off? Well, sex toys are amazing for edging and orgasm denial games.

You can do this with a partner or by yourself. Simply use your favourite vibrator or masturbator (or have your partner use it on you), get close to orgasm, and then… stop.

From here, you have a few options. You can edge as many times as you like and then cum. You can edge as many times as you like and then not cum, allowing that delicious sexual tension and frustration to build. Or you can ruin your orgasm by removing stimulation the second you tip over the edge. Many sexual masochists find ruined orgasms exquisitely painful.

Toys and Bondage

Do you like getting a little tied up or tying your partner up? Sex toys can be a super fun addition to your bondage play. This can range from something as simple as immobilising your partner and using toys on them until they cum (or don’t – see above), to complex predicament ties or rope harnesses designed to hold sex toys in place. I find this type of play pairs particularly well with forced orgasms – more on that in a minute.

You can even play with toys and bondage by yourself. Self-bondage or solo bondage is very popular and you can find tutorials online to help you learn how to do it.

Always follow safety protocols: keep a cutting tool for rope or the keys for any locking restraints within reach, keep your phone within reach in case you need to call for help should something go wrong, and never put rope or restraints around your or your partner’s neck. (Not so fun fact: the overwhelming majority of kink-related deaths are attributed to breath restriction, and autoerotic asphyxiation in particular. Please just don’t go there.)

Forced Orgasm

A forced orgasm is when a consenting person is “made” to cum in a way that may be beyond their physical control. It can work particularly well for those who are multi-orgasmic or for those who find continued stimulation after the point of orgasm painful or uncomfortable in an enjoyable way.

For some people, the kink lies in trying to resist the climax until their body succumbs to the sensation. For others, the hot part is being made to cum repeatedly until they physically (or psychologically) cannot any longer.

Toys are great for forced orgasm play because they can create sensations more intense and overwhelming than bodies can typically produce by themselves. I find that wand vibrators are particularly perfect for forced orgasms because they’re just so intensely and overwhelmingly powerful. They also work equally well on both penises and vulvas. To keep your hands free while you force orgasms from your submissive, try a wand harness.

Toys as Rewards for Your Submissive

If you’re in a Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship or playing with some kind of power dynamic in the bedroom or in your relationship, you may want to incorporate rules, rewards, and punishments in some way. Favourite sex toys can be a great motivator in this type of relationship.

For example, time with a favourite sex toy can be a great reward for an obedient submissive. On the other hand, refusing them permission to masturbate or use toys can be an effective punishment. Remember to negotiate thoroughly in advance to make sure you’re both happy with the rules, rewards, and punishments you agree on.

Play with Threesome or Group Sex Fantasies

Threesomes, foursomes, orgies, and other group sex configurations are tremendously popular fantasies that strike a chord with many people. In fact, according to some sources, having a threesome is the most popular sexual fantasy for people of all genders!

Actually having group sex is certainly possible, and it’s something I personally enjoy very much. However, there are many considerations to take into account if you’ve never done it before: jealousy and insecurities, navigating multiple people’s boundaries, and the ways in which your relationship may change are just some of them.

If you’re not ready to go there for real, or prefer to keep it in the realm of fantasy, then you can use a sex toy to simulate your group sex desires without the emotional or relational risk. Realistic dildos, sex dolls, and lifelike pussy-style strokers are ideal for this type of fantasy.

…And Get Creative!

What about you, folks? Any creative or unique ideas on how to get kinky with your favourite sex toys? As with anything in the sex realm, you’re limited only by creativity, consent, and your imaginations. So play, explore, don’t be afraid to try things out, and have fun with it.

This post was kindly sponsored by BestVibe, and my readers can enjoy 20% off all products in their store by using code “coffee” at checkout! All writing and views are, as always, mine.

Header for a post about wand vibrators and anorgasmia from antidepressants

How Wand Vibrators Helped Me Reclaim My Sexuality When Antidepressants Killed It

Published on by Amy

I’ve been on antidepressants for the majority of my adult life, in three separate stints. I’m very pro medication for those who need it which, at the times I was taking it, I absolutely did. I’m not exaggerating when I say that those meds saved my life on more than one occasion.

Wand vibrators - Honey Wand from Honey Play Box
Honey Wand by Honey Play Box

But like any medications, antidepressants often have side effects, which can range in severity from mildly annoying to seriously debilitating. One of the worst side effects I experienced on two out of the three antidepressants I tried was a significant change to my sexuality. This manifested in different ways on each drug.

On Fluoxetine (Prozac), I pretty much lost my sexual desire entirely for months. Anything that had been pleasurable just felt like… nothing. This wasn’t limited to sex, either – I also lost my appetite and all ability to derive pleasure from food. On Citalopram, I lost my ability to orgasm while my body adjusted to the meds. While this did have some pleasant results (particularly discovering that I have an orgasm denial kink), it was also upsetting and frustrating. Feeling like I had no control over my body and like I’d lost one of my greatest sources of pleasure was so damaging that I seriously considered coming off the meds that were otherwise helping with my depression.

Trying Sex Toys

The first time antidepressants killed my sex life, I was so thoroughly miserable (both from the depression and from the side effects of the meds) that I wasn’t even interested in reclaiming it. I’m pretty sure I didn’t have sex or masturbate for about nine months at one stage. In hindsight, this probably made things even worse, because my sexuality has always been one of the key ways that I access pleasure and joy. At that time, I didn’t own any sex toys, and any touch from either myself or my partner left me cold.

The second time was a different matter, though. This time, the antidepressants actually took the edge off the worst of the sadness and hopelessness, and I still wanted sex. I just couldn’t orgasm, either with my partner or by myself. Though orgasm is not necessarily the goal of sex, this quickly became frustrating and then enraging. I felt like my body was betraying me. Like I had to choose between having a properly functioning brain and a satisfying sex life.

The turning point came when my then-partner pulled out a wand vibrator after about a month of this issue. That thing finally broke through the orgasm block. And, once that dam broke, it became easier and easier to get there again. I invested in a wand for myself pretty quickly after that, and it became my go-to toy.

Breaking Through the Depression-Haze

Even now, when I’m not currently on any psychiatric medication (though I accept I might be again in the future), I’m most likely to reach for my wand vibes when I’m in the middle of a bad depression funk. Contrary to popular belief, it’s still possible to feel horny at the same time as being depressed. Sad people need pleasure and orgasms, too! There have also been times when I haven’t felt horny, but I knew intellectually that an orgasm would make me feel better.

Sometimes, when I’m very very depressed, I feel as though there’s a kind of fog around me. The fog keeps me at least partly disconnected from everything and everyone around me. At its worst, it creates a sense of being somewhat outside and detached from my own body. In this state, many types of touch that would normally be pleasurable struggle to penetrate the fog. When that happens, I need intense stimulation and lots of it. It’s times like this that I might crave certain BDSM activities even more than usual. It’s also times like this when knock-your-socks-off powerful wand vibes are a Godsend. It might be possible to power through to orgasm with a lacklustre, buzzy vibrator but ultimately why bother?

The thing with my favourite wand vibes is that ultimately, they can wrench an orgasm from my body with very little active input from me. This has a lot of fun potential (forced orgasm scenes anyone?) It’s also extremely useful during periods of significant depression. If I want to orgasm at my own or a partner’s hand, or with a lower powered toy, it can be fun but often requires significant effort, mentally if not physically. With a powerful enough wand, I basically just put it in the right spot and wait for the orgasm to happen. In this way, I can access pleasure and the positive physical and mental health benefits of orgasm even when I feel so low I don’t want to leave my bed.

Sexual Pleasure Matters

When someone is dealing with severe health issues, either physical or mental, it’s often tempting to see sexual pleasure as trivial. Certainly when I spoke to my doctor about the side effects of my various medications, they dismissed my concerns. Did I want to be able to orgasm or did I want to not be sad? Because I couldn’t have both.

Except I actually could, and I needed and deserved to have both.

If you’re struggling with pleasure or orgasm due to health issues and medication, I want you to hear this: sexual pleasure matters! It’s not trivial and it’s not unimportant. If it’s important to you, then it matters. And you deserve to have what you need to feel sexually satisfied – whether that’s a change of medication, a super powerful vibrator, or just to change up what you’re doing.

Thanks to Honey Play Box for sponsoring this post. All views and experiences are my own!