Tag: funzze

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[Toy Review] Funzze Ride-On Grind & Humping Vibrator

Published on by Amy

Grinding toys have taken off in a big way in the last few years, and anyone who has been reading my work for a while will know about my enduring grinder obsession. Funzze recently sent me some of their toys to try, including this ride-on silicone vibrating grinder.

Funzze Ride-On Grind & Humping Vibrator: A Vibrating Grinder with Three Motors

The Funzze Ride-On Grind & Humping Vibrator is a vibrating grinder with an insertable dildo and three separate motors. Made of body-safe pink silicone, this grinder toy measures 9.06″ in total length. The dildo portion measures 4.3″ in insertable length and 1.26″ in diameter at the widest point.

Funzze silicone ride on vibrating grinder toy

It has two raised pads: the front one (for clitoral stimulation) has a height of 1.65″, and the back one (for anal/perineal stimulation) has a height of 1.15″. The dildo leans very slightly to the front to help it to target the G-spot in use.

The Funzze Vibrating Grinder is rechargeable, with a two hour charge giving around an hour of runtime. The packaging and site says it is waterproof (submersible), but the instruction manual says not to leave it in water for a long time. So that’s a little confusing. This toy comes with a wireless remote control and a storage bag.

Funzze Vibrating Grinder: What I Liked

I like the design of the Funzze Ride-On Grind & Humping Vibrator a lot. Its flat, flexible base means you can easily place it on any flat surface, and the bottom-heavy design helps it to stay in place. This plus the user’s body weight means it doesn’t slide around or move out of position during use.

Pro tip: if you want to use this toy in an upright kneeling position, pad your knees with cushions to stay comfortable. If this isn’t accessible or doesn’t feel good to you, you can also put the toy on a chair and straddle it, put it underneath you and lie on top of it, or use pillows or positioning wedges to create a configuration that works for your body.

Funzze vibrating grinder viewed from above

I appreciate that the Funzze Vibrating Grinder’s dildo isn’t particularly big. Many dual stimulation toys are designed such that getting any kind of clitoral contact requires uncomfortably deep penetration. However, the relatively short and slimline design of this vibrating grinder’s dildo means it will be comfortable for users who don’t enjoy large insertables (or don’t want to work up to them every time they use the toy.)

Positioning is pretty easy and comfortable, and I can actually get a good amount of clitoral stimulation with this toy. The silicone is super soft and smooth. The firm yet slightly squishy surface of the external humps gives an amazing “bouncy” feel as you grind against it. This is a great design for people who prefer lots of clitoral pressure. As I mentioned, the slight forward tilt also makes it easier to find and stimulate the G-spot with the dildo portion of the toy.

Most of the shaft has a firm core, while the top inch or so is soft and squishy. This feels like a good balance for this toy. Too flexible and it’d be hard to ride, too firm and it could be uncomfortable. As it is, there’s enough firmness for easy use and enough squish for comfort.

Funzze vibrating silicone grinder sex toy

The three motors have a pretty decent level of power. The vibrations feel more intense through the insertable dildo than either of the external stimulators, but I suspect this is just because the silicone is thinner so they’re less dampened.

The toy has 3 constant speeds and 10 patterns, and the remote control is a nice addition. The grinder’s single-button interface is situated on the front of the clitoral stimulator. This makes it possible to operate the toy this way while you’re using it, but the remote control is far easier. It also makes it easy to hand over control to your partner, or to keep your hands free to do other things.

Of course, you can also use this toy without the vibrations if you enjoy the grinding/penetration combo on its own.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Though I’m quite impressed with the motors’ power, this vibrating grinder is a little more buzzy than I would prefer. I also would have liked the motors to be independently controllable so I could switch off the internal vibrations while leaving the clitoral stimulator on. Dual-directional speed and pattern controls would also be good.

The Funzze Grinder gets significantly louder when it’s flat on a hard surface vs. when you hold it in your hand. If noise level is important to you, use a soft surface like a bed or chair. You can also cushion it with a blanket or towel to deaden the noise.

The third motor, designed for anal or perineal stimulation, didn’t really do anything for me. It’s fine, but I wouldn’t miss it if it wasn’t there. Then again, I’m not that into anal play for its own sake. It tends to work best for me as part of a kink scene or power dynamic. If you enjoy external anal stimulation, you might appreciate this feature more than I did!

Verdict

Funzze’s silicone ride-on vibrating grinder was a pleasant surprise; dual-stimulation toys are so often a miss for me. But this one is thoughtfully designed and enjoyable. Not perfect, but pretty damn good and a relatively affordable alternative to many more expensive products.

If you enjoy combined penetration with clitoral and external anal/perineal stimulation, this toy offers all three. And if you find that dual stimulation toys are often too large for you, or require weird positioning or uncomfortably deep insertion to stimulate your clit, you might get along better with this one. I certainly did.

Buy the Ride-On Grind & Humping Vibrator directly from Funzze for $55.99.

Thanks to Funzze for sponsoring this post and sending me the Ride-On Vibrating Grinder to review. All views, as ever, are mine.

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[Toy Review] Funzze Pink O Clitoral Sucker

Published on by Amy

These days, I go into every clit sucker review I write preparing to be surprised. For every high-end toy in this category I’ve loved, there’s also at least one disappointing flop and at least one cheap clit sucker that gets the job done surprisingly well. The Funzze Pink O? That turned out to be one of the latter.

Funzze Pink O: Details

The Funzze Pink O clit sucker is the latest toy Funzze have kindly sent me to review. I wasn’t fully prepared for how small this toy would be! It arrived in a tiny box, and the toy measures just over 3.5″ in total length and weighs just 73g. As I said: tiny! This makes it a travel-friendly option I can throw in my bag when I visit my long-distance love.

Funzze clit sucker product image for review

Like the many other toys in this category, the Funzze Pink O has a nozzle that sits over the clitoris and stimulates it indirectly via air pulses. Some retailers still insist on claiming that this sensation feels like receiving cunnilingus. It doesn’t. Let’s put that myth to bed. I’m pleased to see Funzze hasn’t leaned too deeply into this misconception.

The Pink O Clitoral Sucker is made of pink body-safe silicone and white ABS plastic. It is rechargeable (you get about an hour of runtime for an hour charge) with a USB cable included. Confusingly, the Funzze website describes this toy as suitable for “pleasure in the shower, bathtub, or pool,” but then says it is only splashproof. The included instruction booklet also cautions against keeping it in water for long. I recommend assuming it’s only splashproof rather than fully waterproof, and not using it in the bath or submerging it in water.

The Pink O clit sucker is a cheap option for those on a budget, retailing for just $33.99. This also makes it a good entry-level option if you’re trying clitoral suckers for the first time… though, as we’ll see, this little beauty is so good you may not feel the need to upgrade to a pricier model!

Funzze Pink O Clit Sucker Review: What I Liked

The shape and size of this toy endeared me to it straight away. It fits comfortably in my hand, it’s light enough to hold for an extended session, and the slight curve makes it easy to angle it against my vulva without needing to curl my hand or arm into uncomfortable positions. The relatively large nozzle diameter compared to other toys in this category (around 0.5″) and wide, flat nozzle rim provides a consistent and comfortable seal around my clit.

Top-down, side-on view of Funzze Pink O Clitoral Sucker

The Funzze Pink O has 8 settings: 2 constant speeds and 6 patterns. Its single button interface is straightforward, and the relatively large silicone button set into the ABS plastic body makes it easy to locate by touch alone.

Also, the button is shaped like a little heart. So that’s cute!

Funzze Pink O, a cheap clit sucker toy made of white plastic and pink silicone

Now the most important question for any clit sucker review, did it get me off? The answer for this one is a resounding yes. On its second constant speed, this toy can make me come reliably. That’s pretty rare for a toy at this price-point!

In terms of sensation, the suction is pretty smooth. It’s harder to quantify clitoral suction toys as “buzzy” or “rumbly” the way I normally would with vibrators, but I can best describe the quality of this toy’s suction as “deep.” It feels like it’s really getting into the nerve-endings of both my internal and external clit, not just tickling the surface. It also doesn’t have any unpleasant numbing or desensitising effects.

Funzze Pink O Clit Sucker Review: What I Didn’t Like

I would have preferred more constant suction speeds and fewer patterns, personally. Anecdotally, as someone who’s been in this industry for a long time and spoken to hundreds of people about their sex toy preferences, almost no-one actually likes patterns. I certainly don’t. However, more constant speeds would allow for a more gradual warm-up to the higher intensities.

I also would have preferred dual-directional controls. The simple interface is nice, but having to scroll through all those patterns to switch from the higher constant speed to the lower is pretty annoying.

I wouldn’t really describe the Funzze Pink O as quiet. It also doesn’t get quieter when it’s against my body, unlike some clitoral suction toys. Something to be aware of if discretion is important to you.

Verdict: A Cheap Yet Effective Clit Sucker That Gets the Job Done

The Funzze Pink O clitoral sucker is a surprising gem and an absolute bargain. Its thoughtful ergonomic body, excellent nozzle design, and good power level elevate this one beyond its budget-friendly price point. If you’re looking for an entry-level clitoral suction toy, you could do much worse than this one. The next iteration just needs a few more constant speeds and fewer patterns!

Buy your Pink O clitoral sucker directly from Funzze.

Thanks to Funzze for sponsoring this Pink O clit sucker review! All writing and views are, as always, mine.

Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulator clitoral and vaginal stimulation toy review header

[Toy Reviews] Funzze 3-in-1 Sucking & Flapping Thrusting Triple Stimulator

Published on by Amy

Toys that try to have multiple functions are a mixed bag, and today I’m trying another one! This time we’re looking at Funzze’s 3-in-1 triple stimulator, a vibrator/sucker/thruster toy for both penetrative and clitoral stimulation.

What is the Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator Vibrator?

The Funzze 3-in-1 Sucking & Flapping Thrusting Vibrator (hereafter the Funzze 3-in-1 for the sake of brevity) is a triple stimulator that offers three different ways to use it. Its head end features a clitoral suction stimulator on one side and, on the reverse side, this same motor allows the flat surface to make a “tapping” motion. At the other end, the toy’s handle is also an insertable dildo with a thrusting mechanism.

Funzze triple stimulator official product picture to show clitoral suction and tapping motions
Image: Funzze

The Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator is made of body-safe silicone and available in either purple or green. It is IPX-6 waterproof (suitable for use in the shower and for cleaning under the tap, but not fully submersible) and USB rechargeable. It measures around 7.5″ in total length, 3.5″ in insertable length.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator shown in purple and green
Image: Funzze

What I Liked About the Funzze 3-in-1

There’s a common problem with sex toys that try to do too many different things: they do none of them particularly well. Happily, this isn’t the case with the Funzze 3-in-1. Let’s talk about the things I liked about this triple stimulator.

  • The clitoral suction part performs well. It is moderately intense on the lowest setting and very intense on the higher ones. One thing to be aware of is that the nozzle is on the smaller side, so if you have a larger clit that might be something to be aware of. But if you enjoy serious focused clitoral stimulation, this toy will likely work well for you.
  • The tapping function is genuinely excellent. The stimulation it provides offers the depth and intensity of very rumbly vibrations. Even the lowest speed feels surprisingly intense, particularly for a toy at this price-point.
  • The construction of Funzze Triple Stimulator toy feels sturdy. I can press it firmly against my body and get plenty of pressure without feeling like I’m going to damage it.
  • I kind of like that the suction and tapping functions operate off the same motor. This means you can switch between the two in a second, just by turning it around.
Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator in purple with buttons illuminated in blue

  • The two motors—suction/tapping and thrusting—are controllable separately. They can also be used together, though I can’t think of any reason you’d want to that doesn’t defy the laws of physics!
  • The controls are simple and intuitive, and the buttons are easy to press.
  • The thrusting part has quite a short “length”—only maybe an inch or two of thrust. This won’t work for everyone, of course, but for those who (like me) enjoy penetration but often find deep thrusting more painful than pleasurable, it’s a great choice.
  • With 10 thrusting speeds and 10 sucking/tapping intensity levels, the Funzze Triple Stimulator is a truly customisable experience with numerous options for different users and different preferences.
  • It comes with a storage bag included.
  • The retail price of $42.99 (that’s around £34) is exceptional value for the quality.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There’s one main thing I don’t like about the Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulator: the noise. Whichever way you’re using it, this thing is loud. Both the loud buzz of the head end and the back-and-forth squeak of the thruster are really offputting and grating to me. Which is a shame in a product that I otherwise liked so much.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator

My other criticism is the lack of dual-directional controls. Whichever of the Funzze Triple Stimulator toy’s three functions I’m using, it would be nice to be able to scroll through the speeds in either direction.

Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator: Verdict

Overall, the Funzze 3-in-1 is a much better product than many of the “multiple things in one” options on the market. The clitoral suction stimulator does its job well, and the thrusting function is gentle enough that I can actually use it. It’s that glorious tapping function, though, that really elevates this one for me.

A surprising winner. Good job, Funzze!

The Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulation toy retails for $42.99.

Thanks to Funzze for sponsoring this review of their triple stimulation toy! This means they paid me to test the toy and write an honest account of my experience. All views, as always, are mine.

Header image for Funzze review of double-ended stainless steel dildo

[Toy Review] Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo

Published on by Amy

Funzze is a relatively new brand on my radar, having only previously tried one of their toys at the time of writing. However, they do have some interesting things in their catalogue, so I was happy to agree to doing another set of reviews. This week, we’re looking at the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo.

Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo Details

The Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo is described as “a stainless steel G spot dildo with a sinuous shape, equipped with 2 insertable ends that offer different sensations.” That’s a pretty accurate summary. (Sinuous, FYI, means “having many curves and turns” and is just a very pleasing word to say.)

Funzze double-ended stainless steel dildo

One end of the dildo is a smooth curve with a bulbed head, and the other end has four rippling beads. The Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo measures 8.5″ end to end and a slimline 1.5″ in diameter at the widest part of the beads.

In terms of comparisons, it’s somewhat similar to the famous Njoy Fun Wand. However, the curve is less pronounced, the bulbs flow together rather than being completely distinct and separate pieces, and the head is a different shape. As such, I feel comfortable calling this a similar design rather than a copycat or a ripoff. At the end of the day, there are a lot of similar toys out there from different manufacturers and true innovation is rare in this industry.

Let’s Talk About Stainless Steel for a Minute

This toy is made of 304 grade stainless steel, which is a hardwearing, non-porous, and body-safe material. You can use it in water, boil-wash it to sterilise, and use it with any kind of lube you like.

304 is a cheaper alternative to 316 stainless steel, which contains higher levels of the element molybdenum. Molybdenum increases the corrosion resistance of stainless steel as well as increasing its heat resistance at high temperatures, neither of which are likely to be particularly relevant for sex toy use under normal circumstances.

Both 304 and 316 stainless steel contain some amount of nickel, a common allergen. Interestingly, according to the Nickel Institute, there’s a sex difference in play here. This organisation says that 15-16% of women but only around 4-5% of men suffer from nickel allergic contact dermatitis (NACD).

So is 304 stainless steel safe if you have a nickel allergy? The information I could find on this one was mixed. Some sources state that 304 and 316 stainless steels are effectively hypoallergenic. The Nickel Institute says:

For example, nickel-containing stainless steels are used by high quality watch manufacturers. Such high quality stainless steels contain 9% to 28% nickel but do not release sufficient amounts of nickel to cause a nickel allergy.

Some additional sources agree that the risk is minimal. Others, however, state that stainless steels can cause an allergic reaction in people with a nickel allergy. The sources I consulted were even mixed on whether or not 304 and 316 stainless steels were safe for use in body piercing.

Ultimately, you will need to decide on your own safety profile and level of acceptable risk. Personally, given that you’re presumably going to be inserting it into highly sensitive areas of the body and it will certainly make contact with mucus membranes, I wouldn’t risk using a stainless steel dildo if you have a nickel allergy. If you feel comfortable with the risk or know from experience that these toys are okay for you, though, have at it.

What I Liked About the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo

Funzze double-ended stainless steel dildo

With all of that said, it was time to dive into trying out the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo. Let’s look at the things I liked about it first.

  • The double-ended design means that this stainless steel dildo is essentially two toys in one. As such, it offers a variety of different sensations to explore.
  • I love the slim shaft. Due to their hardness, stainless steel toys can be seriously intense, even for experienced users. Too much girth would make this toy either uncomfortable or just unusable for me, so the slender design is perfect.
  • The pronounced head on the smoother end is ideal for targeting the G-spot or prostate. The rippled end is fantastic for lovers of texture. (Pro tip: if thrusting with this toy is too intense for you or feels uncomfortable, try either wiggling it very gently or just holding it in place and allowing your body’s muscles to contract around it.)
  • The weight! One of the things that makes stainless steel so irresistible for sex toys is the sheer heft it offers. While this can make use more challenging for some, it also offers amazing pay-off in terms of how the toy feels. If you want intensity and lots of it, you’ve come to the right place.
  • Stainless steel conducts temperature better than almost any other sex toy material. Want to play with some different sensations? Run your toy under warm water or pop it in the fridge for a few minutes before playing.
  • It arrived in cardboard packaging (recyclable and minimising single-use plastic) and comes with a storage bag included.
  • It’s quick and easy to clean.
  • It retails for $69.99 (around £54), which is super good value for a stainless steel toy of this size.

Inevitably, I’m going to be asked if the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo is anal-safe. I’m a little torn on this one, because it does not technically have a large flared base. So after much deliberation, I’m settling on “probably.” It’s most likely fine as long as you use one end as a handle and insert no more than 50% of the toy at a time. Realistically, it’s also large and heavy enough that the entire toy isn’t going to get sucked up inside you without some serious effort. However, due to the shape, I advise against doing very deep penetration with this one.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

I really have no major criticisms of this product. Overall it’s a great design, excellent value, and a pleasure to use.

The finish on this dildo isn’t as perfectly smooth and shiny as you’ll find on some of the higher end stainless steel toys on the market. However, it’s also quite significantly less expensive than the prices that some of the more well-known and premium brands charge.

In a perfectly ideal world I would have preferred a slightly more pronounced curve, particularly to the smoother end of the dildo. This would make it more effective for very targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation. However, this is really more a matter of personal preference than a criticism of the toy. Bodies are all different, and this toy’s gentle curve will be ideal for some users.

Verdict

When I initially saw this toy, I was a little sceptical due to the relatively low price. However, the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo is an excellent product and an affordable alternative to some of those high-ticket toys that are out of reach for many would-be users.

The Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo retails for $69.99.

Thanks to Funzze for sending me this product and sponsoring this review. All views, as always, are mine. Product images by Funzze.

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[Toy Review] Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro

Published on by Amy

When a company offers me toys to review and gives me free rein to choose products from their catalogue, as Funzze did recently, it becomes an increasingly complicated decision the longer I do this work. There are, after all, only so many variations on the basic vibrator, dildo, or stroker out there in the world, and I do like to keep things interesting. I tend to select review products, therefore, in one of three ways:

  1. Choose the thing I think might actually get me off
  2. Choose something with an intriguing name or description
  3. Choose the most bonkers and unhinged stuff I can find

On this occasion, I went with a combination both options #1 and #2, which is how the amusingly-named but intriguingly-designed Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro came to be in my possession.

What is the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro?

Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro clitoral stimulator

The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro is described as a “high frequency clit stimulator.” It tapers up to a point, ending in a rounded tip which rotates at high speeds when the vibrations are switched on. It is made of body-safe silicone with an ABS plastic accent band above the handle.

The Orgasm Monster also comes with two additional removable silicone tips, one shaped like a little tongue and the other shaped like a pair of bunny ears.

The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro is USB rechargeable and fully waterproof (submersible.) It also comes with a storage bag, which is a nice touch you don’t usually get for toys at this price-point. In terms of battery life, I got a couple of hours out of mine on a full charge.

What I Liked About The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro

Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro clitoral stimulator with rabbit ears head
Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro clitoral stimulator with tongue head

I found a lot to like about the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro, particularly given its very affordable price (we’ll talk about that more in a minute.) So what did I like about it?

  • Perhaps most importantly, it lived up to its name. It gets me off, and it does so pretty reliably.
  • I love the inclusion of the additional heads! This simple little extra adds so much more bang for your buck, do to speak. It also makes the toy an appealing choice for those who are new to clitoral toys. Having options allows you to experiment with a few different sensations to find out what you like. Each of the three options (no head, bunny ears head, or tongue head) provides a distinctive experience.
  • The stimulation this toy offers is very, very pinpoint. Of course, this isn’t everyone’s thing. It’s not even my thing all the time – I have to be in the mood for it! But when that’s what I’m after, this toy delivers. If you are looking for seriously pinpoint clitoral pleasure, you’ll find it here.
  • I absolutely love the bunny ears attachment. The soft and flexible ears flicker back and forth, and – in my experience – feel particularly good when positioned on either side of my clit from above, stimulating it from the sides.
  • The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro’s tip offers a good mix of firmness and flexibility. The “ball” at the top is pretty firm, but the neck leading to it has some give. This means that you can enjoy intense stimulation but, for me at least, without it tipping over into “so intense it’s painful.”
  • It’s pretty powerful, particularly when used without either of the attachments! I can sometimes orgasm with this toy without even turning it onto the most powerful setting, which is pretty impressive (and, honestly, pretty rare.)
  • It is not “silent”, despite what the marketing copy says (there is literally no such thing as a silent vibrator. It does not exist.) However, at under 50dB it’s also not too loud and its noise level and type is fairly unobtrusive.
  • The handle is comfortable to hold and only minimally transmits vibrations into my hand.
  • Its single button is easy to press, well positioned, and sufficiently raised that you can feel for it without needing to look.
  • It retails at just $35.99. That’s about £28 for my UK readers. There’s also a one-year warranty included should you have any problems.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro clitoral stimulator

Overall, I like the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro quite a lot. There were a few things that didn’t work so well for me, though:

  • I really don’t like the tongue attachment. Despite the promising flicking motion when I switched it on, the flicking completely stops as soon as I actually apply it to my body. The result is the sensation of being poked in the clit by the surprisingly pointy little tongue. Your experience may vary, of course, as this is really a matter of personal preference.
  • This is probably unavoidable, but the tips do dampen the vibration transmission quite a bit. I found this more noticeable with the tongue attachment than the bunny ears one, but with both it significantly reduced the intensity.
  • I don’t love the one-button interface. It’s easy to use, but only being able to scroll one way through the settings and patterns is annoying. For a toy this intense, it would greatly improve the user experience to be able to go down a setting without having to scroll all the way back through.
  • The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro’s vibrations, though decently strong, are pretty buzzy. I personally find that less problematic on a pinpoint toy than a broader one, for some reason, but it’s something to be aware of.

Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro: Verdict

This is a surprisingly good little clitoral toy at a very affordable price! Whether you’re on a budget or just looking to experiment with pinpoint clitoral toys, it’s a good pick and holds its own against many of its much pricier competitors. I probably need to reevaluate my cynicism about cheaper toys, honestly. They really do seem to be getting better and better all the time. This one impressed me more than I expected it to!

The Orgasm Monster Pro is available directly from Funzze.

Thanks to Funzze for sponsoring this post. This means they paid me to write an honest and unbiased review. All opinions and writing are, as always, mine.

Funzze Super Powerful Massager review header image

[Toy Review] Funzze Super Powerful Massager

Published on by Amy

It’s no secret that I love wand vibrators. I don’t even know how many I own at this point—it must be at least a dozen, possibly closer to 20. Yet, whenever I get offered the chance to review one, I jump at it. They’re a classic for a reason, after all. I’m pleased to be bringing you another wand vibrator review today courtesy of Funzze, who kindly sent me the Funzze Super Powerful Massager, their take on the wand vibrator, to try out and review for you all.

Funzze Super Powerful Massager

Funzze Super Powerful Massager wand vibrator

The Funzze Super Powerful Massager, which landed on my review pile this week, is a wand style vibrator with a long handle and a large head, measuring a total of 13.5″ in length. Its head is made of body-safe silicone and the body is ABS plastic. The button panel, located in the middle of the handle, is also silicone. The only colour it comes in is black.

This toy is USB rechargeable. You’ll get anything from an hour to 2 hours of use (depending on settings) out of a full charge, which takes around 3 hours.

The Funzze Super Powerful Massager arrived in discreet packaging, with the toys packed in simple branded cardboard boxes. It also comes with a drawstring storage bag.

Funzze Super Powerful Massager Review: What I Liked

Funzze Super Powerful Massager wand vibrator bent to show the flexible neck

In short, I am really impressed with how well the Funzze Super Powerful Massager holds up, even compared to much more expensive products I’ve reviewed. Let’s have a look at all the specific things I liked about it.

  • First and most importantly: those vibrations! The Funzze Super Powerful Massager really lives up to its name—its power level is seriously impressive. Even better, the vibrations are fairly rumbly. This means that you get deep, satisfying stimulation rather than a numbing buzz. It gets the job done, and it gets it done quickly and reliably.
  • The firmness of the head. This makes it easy to get a good amount of pressure, and it transmits the vibrations well.
  • The flexible neck. This allows you to position the toy exactly where and how you want it. However, it’s not so flexible that it’s impossible to get any pressure. This can be a difficult balance to strike, but this toy does it well.
  • There are 8 speed settings and a massive 20 different patterns, which can be used in any combination.
  • The super affordable price point! The Funzze Super Powerful Massager is one of the cheapest vibrators I’ve reviewed, retailing for a bargain $31.99. It also comes with a 1-year warranty should anything go wrong.
  • It is compatible with many standard wand attachments. Want to add texture or turn your wand into a penis masturbator or rabbit vibe? Just add a topper and you’re good to go.
  • It’s fairly light for its size, weighing just over 300g.
  • The buttons are easy to press, well placed, and the controls are intuitive. There’s an on/off button, a button to change the pattern, and a button to change the speed. The buttons are raised and large enough that it’s easy to press them without looking.
  • An on/off button that you just press and don’t have to hold down. This might sound like a small thing, but it really makes a difference to my experience using a toy.
  • The inclusion of a storage bag is a nice touch, particularly for such an inexpensive product.

Any Downsides?

Funzze Super Powerful Massager wand vibrator buttons

With all of those good things said, there were a few small things about the Funzze Super Powerful Massager that didn’t work so well for me.

  • The speed and pattern controls only scroll one way. So if you want to go back a step, you have to cycle all the way through all the settings to do so.
  • It’s not waterproof. Which is fair enough; most wand vibrators aren’t. This isn’t a big deal to me as I don’t generally use toys in water anyway, but if you like to masturbate in the bath or shower this is something to bear in mind. It also means it’s better to clean the wand with a sterile body-safe wipe rather than soap and water.
  • It’s moderately loud (companies: please stop claiming your toys are quiet when they demonstrably aren’t.) All wand vibrators are going to be loud to a certain extent, and it’s not egregious, but it’s certainly noticeable.
  • For some reason, when I switched on the Funzze Super Powerful Massager to start this review, it started at the highest setting. This might not be a problem for those of us whose usual vibrator use pattern is “stick it on the most powerful speed and leave it there.” (Hello!) But if you prefer to start slowly and work up through the speeds, having to immediately switch down when you turn it on could be annoying.
  • The single use plastic wrap around the toy inside the packaging box was unnecessary and is not very environmentally friendly.

Funzze Super Powerful Massager Review: Verdict

I’m often cynical about toys at very low price points, assuming they can’t possibly compete with their higher priced counterparts. I should probably reevaluate that assumption, though, because the Funzze Super Powerful Massager is so, so, so good for the price. Whether you’re on a budget and looking for a reliable staple or seeking an entry-level product to see whether wand vibrators work for you, this is a great option. Despite the small issues I identified, it’s an excellent toy that can easily compete with many of the pricier products in my collection.

You can buy this product directly from Funzze.

Thanks to Funzze for sending me this product and sponsoring this unbiased review. All writing and views are, as always, mine.