Coffee & Kink Valentine’s Day Gift Guide 2020

I understand intellectually that Valentine’s Day is a made-up holiday… and I love it anyway. I’m a soppy hopeless romantic at heart, and a day to celebrate love is fine by me! Of course, I think this should include all forms of love, not just sexual and romantic relationships.

As the Day of Love is fast approaching, I wanted to share with you a few of the products I’ve tried recently and that I think would make ideal gifts, if giving sexy/romantic gifts is something you do in your relationship.

For new partners or nervous beginners: Feeling Foxy Gift Box

The Feeling Foxy subscription box, for a Valentine's 2020 gift guide

What is it? Feeling Foxy is a new gift box subscription service. You sign up initially for 12 months (though you can cancel at any time) and receive a box bi-monthly. Your box is a surprise and will contain a mix of items such as dildos, vibrators, bondage gear, lube and more. Check out my unboxing thread to see what I got in my box.

Who is it good for? These boxes are ideal for people who are just exploring. Whether you and your partner are new to each other, looking to spice things up but not sure where to start, or they’re interested in trying toys but feeling overwhelmed, a subscription box gives you lots of different things to try out. Perfect for figuring out what you like!

Cost: £45 for the “Play Time” box (4+ items,) £85 for the “More Play Time” box (6+ items.)

For power queens and clit-stim connoisseurs: Wand by We-Vibe

The We-Vibe Wand, for a 2020 Valentine's Day gift guide

What is it? Did anyone else let out an actual squee when they heard We-Vibe were releasing a wand? Yeah, me too! Simply named Wand, this toy combines We-Vibe’s signature strong, rumbly motors and app connectivity with nifty new innovations such as Smart Silence touch-sensitive tech, all packaged in the classic wand style we know and love. It even comes with two awesome attachments for more versatile play.

Who is it good for? People who love POWER POWER POWER! Wand by We-Vibe is the most powerful cordless toy on the market right now.

Cost: £159.99 UK, $170 US.

For whimsical romantics: Hot For You colour changing underwear

Plus size model wearing the Hot For You lingerie from Lovehoney. For 2020 Valentine's gift guide

What is it? Hot For You is Lovehoney’s 2020 Valentine’s range. The little heart or flame motifs change from black to red as your body temperature rises.

Who is it good for? This is a cute, inexpensive gift ideal for those who love a touch of playful sillyness with their romance.

Cost: £19.99 for the bra and knickers set (also available in plus size!) or £14.99 for the thong for cock-owners.

For luxurious lingerie lovers: Wild Blooms

A white female-bodied person wearing the Lovehoney Wild Blooms embroidered body. For Valentine's gift guide 2020

What is it? This brings a whole new meaning to giving your lover flowers! Wild Blooms is an absolutely stunning range of beautiful lingerie by Lovehoney. The pieces are made of a soft black mesh and embroidered with colourful flowers. I’m absolutely in love with my Wild Blooms body – it’s always coming out at play parties.

Who is it for? A sensual and sexy treat for the femme in your life. The aesthetic is both elegant and feminine. Perfect for a Valentine’s night in… or out!

Cost: RRP £44.99 but currently all pieces are reduced to £18 – mega bargain!

For penis owners: The Hot Octopuss Pulse III

Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo. For a 2020 Valentine's gift guide
Hot Octopuss Valentine's Day sale banner 2020

What is it? I know I never stop banging on about this toy but I am absolutely convinced it’s the best toy for dicks on the market. (Not having a dick myself, I am basing this on the many excellent reports I’ve heard!) The Pulse III is a toy for penises which is based on actual medical science. It uses oscillations to stimulate and induce orgasm, and can be used from hard or flaccid.

Who is it for? Great for anyone with a penis who is looking to try a different type of stimulation, change up their masturbation routine, or just get off in a new way!

Cost: £89 for the basic model, £129 for the enhanced Lux model. But all Hot Octopuss toys are buy-one-get-one-half-price until the end of Monday 10 February!

For proud queerdos: Godemiche Pride Ambit

Bi Pride flag dildo. For 2020 Valentine's gift guide

What is it? Godemiche’s Ambit might be the most perfect dildo known to exist (at least for my body!) The shape and curve is just perfect, and they come in a huge array of colours and styles. I own three of them and frankly I want more. (Especially the one called “Sparkly Bisexual” because: MOOD.) Their Pride collection Ambits are styled after a variety of pride flags: Gay/LGBTQ+, bisexual, transgender, genderqueer, pansexual, polysexual and lesbian.

Who is it for? Make your favourite LGBTQ+ person’s Valentine’s by getting them a dildo in the relevant pride flag. What could be more romantic than a gift that says “I see and love who you are… AND I want you to have awesome orgasms?” Plus, £10 of the purchase price will go to support an LGBTQ+ charity.

Cost: £45.99.

What are you hoping to get for Valentine’s Day this year, loves? And what are you giving your sweeties?

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. Images are either by me or property of the respective retailers and used with permission. All views, as ever, my own.

[Toy Review] The Godemiche Offbeat

I’ve been sitting on this one for a long damn time, in part because it took us so long to get to actually testing it. But after giving it a second trial run this morning, I am ready to tell you all about the Offbeat, from Godemiche.

It’s no secret that I fucking love Godemiche. This UK-based team run by husband-and-wife duo Adam and Monika have been making gorgeous, hand-poured silicone dildos for a number of years now… and now they’ve branched out into penis toys as well! (And yes, their marketing copy refers to the Offbeat as a “toy for the penis”, not a “toy for men” – hooray! I wish all companies would go this inclusive route).

The Godemiche Offbeat sitting on a red laptop keyboard.

Let’s go OffBeat…

The OffBeat is a tube-shaped silicone masturbator sleeve. Inside it has a simple bobble texture, while the outside has a gentle ripple. Each one has the company name stamped along the rim at the bottom, and the “G” Godemiche logo on the side. Each OffBeat comes in its own little storage tub – it looks like a miniature poster tube. This useful addition makes for easy and hygienic storage.

The Godemiche Offbeat lying on my desk

Sizes and colours and customising, oh my!

OffBeat comes in two sizes: Grande is 5cm in length, and Venti is 10cm in length. (And those who understand will know why these size names made me laugh!) Both sizes are 3cm in diameter. We received the longer Venti version for review. Even this larger size is compact and lightweight. Easy to throw in your bag for a date or a filthy weekend away!

Which size you pick is up to your preferences. If you prefer plenty of concentrated stimulation around the head of your penis, I suggest going for the smaller Grande. Godemiche point out that the Grande is also a great companion to oral sex. Simply tease the head of the penis for a while, then slide the Grande down the shaft and use it to stimulate the base of the penis while giving your partner head, simulating the feeling of a deeper blowjob. The longer Venti, on the other hand, is ideal if you prefer longer strokes and plenty of up-and-down motion. If you’re looking for something that comes closer to simulating penetration, you definitely want to go for the Venti.

The Godemiche Offbeat on a green carpet

One of my favourite things about Godemiche is the sheer variety of colours and styles on offer. Whatever colour toy you want, they can probably make it for you! I have a one-of-a-kind bi pride Ambit that I bought in a charity auction and it’s one of my favourite toys ever. I also bought a gorgeous red Adam in their last sale and I’m lusting HARD after this turquoise glittery Ambit.

The OffBeat currently comes in 6 standard colours, 8 fabulously bright UV colours, and 12 gorgeous pearlescent colours. Ours is pearlescent gold and it’s absolutely beautiful.

A refreshing body-safe offering

Sex toy options for people with penises are often woefully lacking. This is gradually changing as awesome companies like Hot Octopuss, Fun Factory and now Godemiche start offering brilliant cock toys. Unfortunately, most of the strokers on the market are still made of porous and sometimes toxic materials such as jelly, rubber, PVC, TPE/TPR and the notoriously vague “Realistic Feel”.

So of course I am delighted that the OffBeat is made of 100% silicone. This means it is completely body-safe: non-toxic and non-porous.

The Godemiche Offbeat on a purple dildo sticking to some black bathroom wall tiles
Featured Stunt Dildo is the Lovehoney 7 Inch Suction Cup Silicone Dildo

To clean your OffBeat after use, turn it inside out and wash it thoroughly with warm water and gentle soap. Take extra care to ensure that no fluids remain trapped between the bobbles. You can also sterilise your stroker by sticking it in a pan of boiling water for 10 minutes, or running it through the dishwasher in the top rack.

If you want to share the toy with a non fluid-bonded partner, it’s easy to give it a wash between uses or you can just wear a condom, which shouldn’t impede the toy’s performance in any way.

For maximum comfort and pleasure, use a good quality water-based lube. I recommend slathering plenty of lube inside the stroker and also putting some directly on your penis.

So how does it feel?

Now, obviously I don’t have a dick, so I turned to my trusty stunt-cock Mr CK to help me out with this one. His reaction when I lubed up the toy and slid it onto his cock was instantaneous. Apparently the bobbles on the inside of the toy provided a good amount of friction and sensation without needing to grip very hard at all. This may make it a good choice for people who find gripping hard during masturbation difficult, such as those who suffer from pain in their hands. I certainly found it made pleasuring him for a decent length of time easier.

The Godemiche Offbeat on the side of a bath, around a purple dildo

Mr CK also explained that one of the things he likes about this toy is that it is so simple but really makes masturbation feel substantially different from usual. He likened it to the difference between wanking with your dominant vs non-dominant hand, or the difference between masturbating yourself and having someone else do it for you. Basically, if you’re looking to change up your usual masturbation routine, grab yourself one of these!

The gentle ripple shape of the outside of the sleeve means it sits comfortably in the hand, a finger in each dip. We also tried the toy with me pleasuring him with it, and found this was equally true whichever of us was doing the work.

Size-wise, this is a flexible toy. It stretches well and then “hugs” the penis once it’s inside, so would suit a wide variety of penis lengths and girths.

An absolute hit. I think this one is going to live in the “easy access basket” for things we use all the time.

(The Easy Access Basket just needs its own damn post, doesn’t it?)

Do we recommend it?

We really like this toy! It’s simple, highly effective, body-safe, affordable and should suit a wide range of bodies.

OffBeat retails for £25 for the Venti size directly from Godemiche. The smaller Grande size is £20.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending us the OffBeat in exchange for an honest review. All views in this post are our own and images were taken by me. This post contains a couple of affiliate links, which send a small commission my way when you buy from them. Links to Godemiche are non-affiliated.