[Lingerie Review] Lovehoney Fierce Serpentine Lace Body

I had a bit of a lingerie trying-on session and photoshoot this week! If you want to see the other outfit I tried, check out my Halloween costume. Today, we’re looking at the Serpentine Lace Body from Lovehoney’s Fierce range.

Slinky and Snakey

The Serpentine “Snakeskin” Lace Body is a lace one-piece garment and one of the newer additions to Lovehoney’s gorgeous Fierce range. It’s sort of swimsuit shaped, with a deep plunging neckline, halterneck strap, and an open crotch.

The sheer lace has a snakeskin pattern, hence the name. A wet-look panel enhances the shape of the piece and draws attention to the waistline, and the piece closes with a bra clasp at the back. It also features completely removable suspender straps, so you can choose to wear it on its own or add a pair of sexy stockings to complete the look.

As soon as I saw this piece on the Lovehoney website, I knew I wanted to try it. I love one-piece lingerie, black lace, and things that accentuate the waistline – and this ticks all three boxes. As soon as it came out of the packaging, I couldn’t wait to try it on.

Let’s find out how it lived up to expectations!

Fit & Comfort

The Serpentine Lace Body comes in five sizes: S/M/L and then two plus sizes. I’m a UK size 14 and I ordered the large.

Me in the Lovehoney Serpentine Lace Body

Overall, the fit was great. With the shoulder straps, halter, and bra clasps being completely adjustable, it’s easy to move things around to fit your unique body shape.

In a revelation that will surprise no-one, my F-cup (ish) boobs were barely contained in this piece. They stayed put when I was standing up or lying on my back, but as soon as I moved around or moved into my side, my nipples were popping out. So that’s something to be aware of if you’re large busted. But on the whole, the Serpentine Lace Body runs true to size.

Me in the Lovehoney Serpentine Lace Body

This piece is also so genuinely comfortable. Because there are no wires or anything, there’s nothing to dig in or poke you in sensitive places. I could happily wear it for hours.

Look & Feel

This piece feels very “me”. It has a bondage-inspired aesthetic that is just incredibly sexy to me. I particularly love the way the halter strap draws attention to my cleavage, and the way the waistband accentuates the curve of my body.

The Serpentine Body makes me feel sexy in my body and makes me want to flirt and dance and fuck. Whenever we can go to sex clubs again, this will definitely be getting an outing!

Well, judge for yourselves. I think I look hot as hell, personally.

Me in the Serpentine Lace Body from Lovehoney

There are so many different ways you could wear this piece. It’s striking on its own, but you could also pair it with stockings and killer heels, add a cape and some fangs for a vampy Halloween look, or even wear it under some skintight leather-look trousers.

Sexy, comfy, and versatile. A+ all round.

Final Thoughts

Lovehoney’s lingerie team have knocked it out of the park yet again. Is there anything in the Fierce range I don’t like? If so, I haven’t found it yet. More of this please!

The Serpentine Lace Body retails for £32.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this item for review. All opinions are my own, all photos are by me. If you’d like to support me, you can always buy me a coffee or buy through the affiliate links in this post. Want more C&K in your inbox every two weeks? Sign up to receive Coffee Date now – it’s free!

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Super Soft Silicone Galaxy Dildo

As your favourite neighbourhood #Sparklefemme, you will be unsurprised to know that I love things that are shiny and glittery. And that definely extends to sex toys. So there was no way I was going to be able to resist Lovehoney’s new Galaxy Dildo!

Reach for the stars…

Lovehoney’s new Super Soft Galaxy Dildo is a body-safe, 100% silicone dildo. It is 7 inches in total length, around 6 of which are insertable. Its diameter is a relatively slimline 1.4 inches, and it has a suction cup base.

Image of the Lovehoney Galaxy Dildo

The shape of the Galaxy Dildo can best be described as “semi realistic”. It has a smooth shaft, and then a bulbous head reminiscent of a circumcised bio cock.

Since it has no motor, the Galaxy Dildo is submersible and safe to use in water. You can use the boil sterilise method to clean it thoroughly.

I have to say that this is one of the prettiest dildos in my entire collection. The swirly pink/purple/navy silicone and silver glitter makes it look like a starry nebula and it’s truly gorgeous. Due to the nature of silicone pouring, every Galaxy Dildo will be slightly different.

How did it fare in use?

The size and shape of the Galaxy Dildo worked well for me. It’s a nice length and not too girthy (which is sometimes painful). The shaft has a very gentle natural curve. Since the toy is pretty flexible, you can bend it in whatever way works for your body.

Image of the Lovehoney Galaxy Dildo

The Galaxy Dildo’s pronounced head feels wonderful and provides amazing G-spot stimulation. The matte silicone is a little grabby, so remember to use plenty of water-based lube for a more comfortable experience.

This toy is ideal for strap-on play thanks to its large circular base. You’ll need a 1.75 inch diameter ring (which, helpfully, is one of the sizes included in both Lovehoney’s strap-on kit and the Sportsheets set of 4 spare O-rings). You can also use the Galaxy Dildo anally, if that’s your jam, since the flared base makes it anal safe.

Finally, let’s talk about that suction cup! It is, let me be clear, absurdly strong (‘ve been sitting here trying to peel it off my desk while writing!) So if you want a toy you can stick to the wall/floor/bathtub/window (hey, no judgement) for hands-free fun, the Galaxy Dildo is a great choice.

Image of the Lovehoney Galaxy Dildo

Final thoughts

This is a really nice little toy! Many colourful, pretty silicone dildos are also really expensive, so it’s nice to see an affordable alternative. The Galaxy Dildo retails for a bargain £29.99.

Beautiful, versatile, feels great, and completely body-safe. A+ all round!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Galaxy Dildo to review. All views mine, as always. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] Happy Rabbit Realistic Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator by Lovehoney

Happy Rabbit is Lovehoney’s own-brand range of silicone rabbit vibrators. I received and reviewed the Thrusting Rabbit when the range was first released two years ago, and loved it. So I was hopping for joy when the Happy Rabbit Realistic landed on my doorstep as part of my Camp Lovehoney goodie bag.

Prick up your ears…

(I can’t promise this one isn’t going to be full of bunny puns, okay?)

The Happy Rabbit Realistic is a black rabbit-style vibrator. It is made of body-safe, squishy silicone. This latest iteration is actually a redesign of the original Realistic Happy Rabbit, based on customer feedback. The new design features a more pronounced head and thicker, firmer “bunny ears” for clitoral stimulation.

The Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Realistic

Lovehoney describes the Happy Rabbit Realistic as “non-threatening [in] size” which… lol. The first thing I thought when I took this toy out of its packaging was, “yikes, this thing is huge.” It’s actually about 10 inches in total length and 6 inches insertable, with a diameter of 1.7 inches at the widest point.

The Happy Rabbit Realistic is rechargeable via the included cable, and waterproof for bath/shower fun and ease of cleaning. It also features a travel lock for peace of mind if you want to take it with you when you go on holiday.

(Lol, who goes on holiday any more? #COVIDTimes)

Controls

The Happy Rabbit Realistic contains two motors, one in the shaft and one in the ears. You can control them both completely independently via the simple two-button interface.

The Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Realistic control panel

The top button has up/down features to scroll through the 15 patterns in the shaft, while the bottom button switches between the three speed settings in the ears. The bottom button is easy to press, while the top one requires you to be a bit more firm with it.

In use

There are two things I need to use this toy comfortably: a decent amount of warm-up, and a lot of lube.

While some of you might have read those size stats and gone “hah, that’s nothing,” I’m not really a size queen when it comes to solo play. To be honest, I rarely use insertables during masturbation at all – I’m a clit stim girl. So, yeah, this is not a toy I can just plug-and-play with, so to speak.

Since the Happy Rabbit Realistic is silicone, it’s compatible with your favourite water-based lube.

The silicone of the main shaft is lovely and squishy, making it comfortable once it’s inserted. The shaft also has a good deal of flex, which is ideal for angling the toy just right. All our bodies are different, and the right positioning for me won’t be the right positioning for you. The flexibility makes this toy friendly to a wider range of bodies.

The Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Realistic

I love the pronounced shape of the head, which mimics a circumcised bio cock (hence “realistic”.) Its shape is perfect for G-spot stimulation for me, especially coupled with the flexible shaft.

Since I don’t like vibrations internally, I leave the motor in the shaft switched off and just enjoy the combination of G-spot pressure and clitoral vibrations.

When it comes to power, the Happy Rabbit Realistic delivers. Those little bunny ears pack a serious punch, starting from a low rumble and rising to an impressive intensity. Since the two ears are flexible, you can position them however you like – directly on your clit, to one side, over the hood, or surrounding and “hugging” it.

Final thoughts

I’m again impressed with the Happy Rabbit line. All the products are body-safe, relatively affordable, and offer an impressive level of power. Most importantly, I can get off with them quickly and reliably. A-Plus yet again!

The Happy Rabbit Realistic retails for £69.99.

Thanks to Lovehoney for gifting me this toy! Buying through my affiliate links in this post supports my work at no extra cost to you by sending a small commission my way. All views, as ever, are my own.

[Toy Review] We-Vibe x Lovehoney Remote Control Couple’s Vibrator

A co-produced toy by one of my favourite manufacturers and one of my favourite retailers? Sign me up! The We-Vibe x Lovehoney Remote Control Couple’s Vibrator (woof, that’s a mouthful) recently landed on my doorstep to review as part of my Sex Ed September series.

I’m writing this post on Saturday 26 September 2020, which is Smutathon 2020 day! A group of sex writers around the world are writing for 12 hours to raise money for Endometriosis UK, a fantastic cause that’s very close to our hearts. To that end, if you purchase through my affiliate links today (not just this toy – any product) I’ll donate any commissions dated today to the charity.

And of course, we’d love you to donate directly and help us reach our £3000 target!

With that out of the way…

Let’s have a closer look at the We-Vibe x Lovehoney Remote Control Couple’s Vibrator.

This toy is the latest in the line of We-Vibe’s signature U-shaped vibrators, designed to be worn during penis-in-vagina intercourse. The slimmer of the two “arms” anchors the toy inside the vagina, while the outer arm rests against the vulva and provides clitoral stimulation.

The We-Vibe x Lovehoney Remote Control Couples Vibrator

This toy is rechargeable via a USB cable, giving about 90 minutes of playtime for a 2-hour charge. While the toy itself is completely waterproof, the remote is not. The WV x LH Couple’s Vibrator is 3.5 inches in total length, and the insertable section is 3 inches long.

What I liked

The We-Vibe x Lovehoney Remote Control Couple’s Vibrator is made of body-safe matte silicone. This makes it phthalate-free, non-porous, and a breeze to clean.

This toy’s two arms are separated by a flexible hinge. This allows you to position it at whatever angle is most pleasurable for your body. Since no two bodies are the same, making it adjustable better enables users to get the perfect fit for them.

The slimline design of the internal arm will make it comfortable for the majority of wearers, and prevent it from being too obtrusive during penetrative play.

I often roll my eyes about “hands free” toys. But, to give this product credit where it’s due, it did stay in place reasonably well. I don’t think it can truly be described as “hands free” as it moves around with intense thrusting, but I found it much easier to keep in place than an entirely hand-held toy. For solo sex purposes, I can pretty much use it hands-free.

Finally, the remote control is well designed. It’s very light, easy and unobtrusive to hold, and the controls are intuitive. Two buttons allow you to scroll through pattern settings, the othes change the speed.

Remote control for a remote control couples vibrator

And what I didn’t like

I had high hopes for the We-Vibe x Lovehoney Remote Control Couple’s Vibrator. We-Vibe is known for producing toys with high-quality, powerful and rumbly motors.

Sadly, the reality just didn’t match up to expectations. I don’t know if We-Vibe decided to use a different type of motor for this collaborative production, but the power in this iteration of their classic design is woefully lacking.

The vibrations are buzzy, surface-level, middling strength at best, and ultimately unsatisfying. I was not able to reach orgasm with it and I doubt I will use it again.

Final thoughts

Honestly, I’m underwhelmed.

I really wanted this toy to be amazing, as a collaboration between two companies I love should be. While the design is great in some ways, I can’t easily forgive a sex toy that completely failed to get me off. While I understand that the We-Vibe name carries a premium price-tag, at £99.99 this toy is far too expensive for its quality level.

For that reason, I sadly can’t entirely endorse this product. If you can afford to spend a little more, get the Sync or Chorus instead. If you’re on a budget and looking for something that will fit between bodies during sex, you’ll be better off with a really good bullet vibe.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the We-Vibe x Lovehoney Remote Control Couple’s Vibrator to review. All views are my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Nightwear Review] Lovehoney Cherry Blossom Cami Set

I deliberated whether to define this set as lingerie, but ultimately decided it fell better into the category of nightwear. Which I’ve never reviewed before. Exciting! Today we’re looking at the Lovehoney Cherry Blossom Cami Set.

I loved this set the moment my contact at Lovehoney sent me the pictures ahead of the release date. It was just so pretty that I knew I needed to own it. Let’s see how the reality matched up.

First impressions

The Cherry Blossom Cami Set is so gorgeous and feminine. I love the delicate floral pattern, the pretty lace edging, and the colour that reminds me of the sky on a summer day.

Me wearing the Lovehoney Cherry Blossom Cami Set

The thin cross-straps leave your upper back on display for an extra little bit of sex appeal.

Soft and Silky…

Nightwear should be comfortable first and foremost. So I was pleased to find that this set is made of lovely, soft satin. It feels luxurious to wear, and my partner enjoyed stroking it, too!

The lace is also nice and soft, not at all scratchy. I usually avoid lace on nightwear because it can be a sensory nightmare, but this lace is soft enough to get away with it.

Fit

This set comes in Small, Medium and Large sizes. There’s also an identical plus-size version. I got the Large, which corresponds to a 14/16 in UK sizes. I wear a 14 in most clothing brands these days.

The bottoms fit beautifully. The waistband is elasticated, making them suitable for the range of body shapes that fall into this size bracket.

Me wearing the Lovehoney Cherry Blossom Cami Set

The straps on the top are adjustable, allowing you to make them shorter or longer to fit you properly. Sadly, the back band on the top is not stretchy and I found it just a little too tight to be completely comfortable. If, like me, you prefer your nightwear to fit more loosely, I recommend going one size up from your usual.

It doesn’t cover an awful lot in the chest department if, like me, you have huge boobs. I don’t quite fall out of it, but it certainly leaves little to the imagination!

The Cherry Blossom Cami Set is easy to put on and take off. Just make sure the cross-straps are in the right place so you don’t get tangled up when you pull it over your head!

Care & Cleaning

The Cherry Blossom Cami Set is hand-wash only. Use a bowl of warm (not hot) water and some gentle detergent. Alternatively, the hand-wash setting on your washing machine will be fine if you put the items in a protective washing bag.

The satin material snags very, very easily. For that reason, I recommend storing your Cami Set out of the way of anything scratchy or sharp (bra clasps are THE WORST for this.) You could also keep it in a lingerie bag for extra protection.

Final thoughts

This set is beautiful. The cherry blossom pattern is gorgeous and the blue satin is soft and luxurious to wear. I’ll probably only wear the top for sexy purposes rather than comfortable nightwear purposes due to the fit issue, but I can definitely see myself wearing the bottoms for lazing around the house (and even sleeping, on the rare occasions that I don’t sleep naked.)

Me wearing the Lovehoney Cherry Blossom Cami Set

The Cherry Blossom Cami Set retails for £29.99 at Lovehoney. While youre there, check out the whole range!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this set to review! Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are my own. If you enjoy my reviews, buying through my affiliates or buying me a coffee helps keep the blog going.

[Lingerie Review] Lovehoney “Late Night Liaison” Babydoll

Some things are classic for a reason. The combination of black, lacy and sheer for sexy lingerie is one of them. Today I’m pleased to bring you a review of the black lace babydoll from Lovehoney’s new Late Night Liaison range.

Let’s take a look

I’ve declared my love for one-piece lingerie before. Okay, the Late Night Liaison babydoll is technically two pieces, since it comes with a thong. But it’s the main piece I want to focus on here.

The babydoll features a plunging neckline and criss-cross style straps at the back. Two additional straps frame the cleavage and meet in the middle. The bust and underbust panel are made of a pretty floral lace, and the skirt is a plain black mesh. The Lovehoney silver heart insignia sits at the bottom of the V-neck, between the breasts.

Here it is on the model:

The Lovehoney Late Night Liaison babydoll on a smiling, blonde-haired model
Pic courtesy of Lovehoney

Fit and Comfort

As you can see from the picture of this piece on the model, the first elasticated band is supposed to sit under the bust. On me, it sits just under my nipples. I haven’t had a bra fitting in well over a decade and have no idea what size I actually am, but I’d guess something around an F cup. If you’re any bigger than a D, don’t expect the Late Night Liaison babydoll to actually contain very much. Yes, it covers my boobs… but barely.

It’s listed as “one size,” which… argh. You guys know how I generally feel about “one size” lingerie. (Spoiler: there’s no such thing, bodies are different, I’d rather pay a bit more for something that actually fits my body!)

Since the bands are highly adjustable and the underbust (lol) band and waistband are stretchy, it’s probably technically true that anyone from a size 8 to a 16 could wear this piece. But what I would really like to see is sizing that takes different bust sizes into account.

There’s also a Plus Size version, designed to fit sizes 18-24. The two versions are otherwise identical.

As lingerie goes, the Late Night Liaison babydoll is acceptably comfortable. The lace could be softer, but it’s not horribly scratchy, and the mesh of the skirt is lovely – soft and light.

And, praise the universe, no fucking wires!

Care and Cleaning

As with most delicate items made of lace or mesh, this item is hand-wash only. Use a bowl of warm (not hot) water and some gentle detergent. You can also use the hand-wash cycle on your washing machine, if it has one.

As the fine lace and mesh can tear easily, store your lingerie away from anything with sharp bits or things it could snag on (bra straps are the worst for this!) Keeping it in a lingerie bag is a good way to keep it safe.

Aesthetics and Sex Appeal

I thought the Late Night Liaison babydoll was pretty enough when I took it out of the bag, but I really fell in love with it when I put it on.

My body in the Late Night Liaison black babydoll

The delicate floral lace is really beautiful, the shape is flattering, and I adore the way she centre straps frame my cleavage. I particularly like the extra lace panel under the bust, which gives it an unusual shape that’s a bit different from the classic babydoll.

Considering that Mr CK asked me to wear it the next time we had sex after it arrived, I’d say he’s a fan too!

Final thoughts

Despite the imperfect fit issues due to the dreaded “one size,” I’m overall a fan of this piece and will definitely be wearing it again. Pretty, flattering, wire-free lingerie that makes me feel good to wear is always a wonderful thing to find.

The Late Night Liaison babydoll retails for £29.99 from Lovehoney.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this piece to review. All opinions are, as always, my own. If you enjoy my work, please sign up to Coffee Date, my new e-newsletter, to get bonus content delivered to your inbox every two weeks.

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Excite Pleasure Balls

The first time I reviewed a set of pleasure balls (also known as kegel balls, ben-wa balls, or kegel exercisers,) I did a dive into the scientific literature concerning these are-they-a-sex-toy-or-are-they-a-wellness-product?

TL;DR: despite claims that kegel balls strengthen the pelvic floor, there’s little evidence that using them is any more effective than doing unaided kegel exercises alone. And there’s no hard evidence, beyond the anecdotal, to support the notion that using them improves sexual pleasure or makes it easier to orgasm over time.

Until I see some more robust data, I’m going to assume that kegel balls have limited to no physiological benefit beyond being fun to use. With that said, let’s take a look at the Lovehoney Excite Pleasure Balls.

Facts & figures

The Lovehoney Excite Pleasure Balls are two firm, connected balls coated in silicone. They have a long tail for easy removal, and each ball has a free-moving weight inside for added stimulation. The total weight is 73g. (If you’re looking for something a bit heavier, Lovehoney also offer the 90g “Main Squeeze” kegel balls, which I’m also a fan of.)

The purple Lovehoney Excite Pleasure Balls

The total insertable length is around 3 inches, and each ball is 1.4″ in diameter.

They’re also purple, which always gets points from me!

In use

I’ve always found Lovehoney to be a great source of decent, affordable basic products and these are no exception. The Excite Pleasure Balls are easy to insert and comfortable to wear, thanks to the smooth surface and soft silicone.

The purple Lovehoney Excite Pleasure Balls

The jiggle weights inside allow for subtle but noticeable stimulation, rolling around inside you as you move. Unlike some other kegel balls I’ve tried, these felt snug and secure once inside and I never feared they were going to fall out.

The silicone tail feels flimsy at first glance, but is actually extremely strong. So don’t worry about not being able to get the balls out again!

Pro tips for maximum pleasure

  • Always use plenty of water-based lube.
  • Try leaving your Excite Pleasure Balls in while you do clitoral or anal play.
  • Wearing them out and about during the day can be super sexy and fun. But don’t try it with no practice! Start out using your kegel balls for no more than 10-15 minutes. You can always build up to longer periods of wear.
  • Sterilise your kegel balls between every use using the boil method.
  • Someone on Lovehoney recommended pulling them out (or having a partner pull them out) at the point of orgasm. I haven’t tried this, but imagine it could be fun!

Final verdict

A solid and fun little toy for the price. Get yourself a set for £12.99 from Lovehoney.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear within this post.

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Flexy Beast Wearable Vibrator

Sometimes a sex toy makes me laugh and groan (with exasperation, not pleasure) at the same time. Sometimes I just take one look at a thing and immediately know it’s not going to do what it was designed for. The “Flexy Beast” wearable couple’s vibrator from Lovehoney is one such product.

The Pun Game is Strong with This One

It’s a bendy vibrator called the Flexy Beast. How could I resist!? Not only that, but the caption on the box reads “Bends With Benefits.” Well played, Lovehoney. Well. Played.

Anyway, let’s take a closer look, shall we?

The Lovehoney Flexy Beast wearable couples vibrator

The Flexy Beast is a small triangular vibrator with two long and hyper-flexible (they weren’t kidding about that) arms. It’s fully waterproof, and USB rechargeable via the included cable. It is 6.5 inches in total length, of which 3.5 are supposedly insertable (an assertion I question, as we’ll see momentarily.)

The Flexy Beast is coated in silicone and the tip is ABS plastic, making it completely body-safe. Because the plastic tip comes off to reveal the charging port, it has a significant seam that could harbour bacteria. Take extra care when cleaning.

The Flexy Beast boasts 3 levels of constant power and 7 patterns. It operates on a single button interface. I can forgive the one-button issue with cheaper toys, but on a product that retails for £70 I really expect to see at the very least +/- buttons, and ideally a remote control.

First Impressions

I have to admit that my first reaction to this thing was that I wanted to stick googly eyes on it and turn it into a desk mascot.

The Lovehoney Flexy Beast wearable couples vibrator with cartoon eyes

My second reaction was “huh, the level of power is actually respectable.” Considering how small it is, the Flexy Beast offers passably good vibrations. They’re a little buzzy, though, whereas I prefer deep rumbles (and so, it seems, do 56% of the people of FilthTwitter, based on my completely scientific study.)

But that’s when it all went sideways…

There are 5 helpful suggestions provided on the Lovehoney site for how to use the Flexy Beast. Of the two that do not require a factory-installed penis, I was… I think “baffled” is a fair word to use?

Diagram of suggested ways to use the Lovehoney Flexy Beast vibrator

I mean, what the fuck is going on here? The first one seems to imply I should shove the whole thing in my vagina and it will just kinda hang out around the entrance with the arms holding it in place somehow. The second one seems to be suggesting I stick the tip inside me and stick the arms on my labia majora, which… why? Half an inch inside the vagina and the outer labia 2 inches from the clit are not the areas that typically produce the most pleasure for most vulva owners.

Let me reiterate: neither of these suggestions make a single iota of sense when you try them on an actual vulva.

So I got creative…

Not one to give up easily, I tried a few other things. I tried twisting the arms together and inserting them to make a sort of anchor in my vagina while I used the bullet part on my clit. This just ended up with it poking me painfully in the vaginal walls (and it fell out in three seconds.)

I tried to essentially attach it to my labia by twisting the arms in such a way as to clamp it on to my fleshy bits. It slipped straight off.

The Lovehoney Flexy Beast wearable couples vibrator

Finally, I tried inserting the main body into my vagina and then bending the arms around to reach my clit. This sort of worked for about five seconds, but if you push the toy far enough inside that it actually stays put, the arms don’t reach the clit. (Plus the body isn’t anywhere near long enough, nor the right shape, to hit the G-spot.)

Sure, you could technically bend the arms into a circle shape and use it as a cock-ring, but why would you want to? You won’t get the effect of restricting blood flow from the penis (the actual purpose of a cock ring) and any sort of thrusting will stop it from providing meaningful clitoral stimulation.

Someone on the Lovehoney reviews under the product claims to have used it vaginally, anally, and clitorally all at the same time (main body on the clit, one arm in each hole.) After extensive testing, I am calling this out as not only something that is highly unlikely to feel good to the overwhelming majority of people, but as something that is physiologically fucking impossible unless you have the shortest vagina-to-butt distance of all time.

….Sentences I never expected to write.

Final verdict

All gimmick, no substance.

Even though the vibrations are actually okay considering the small size, I was far too annoyed by it and all the ways it was supposed to work and didn’t. I ended my testing session completely turned off. The Flexy Beast probably could have got me off from the vibrations alone, but all I wanted to do was throw it across the room and get my Doxy out.

I’m chalking this one up to a neat idea in theory that wasn’t tested on enough actual human genitals before being released. It also retails for a hugely overpriced £69.99, which is more expensive than several far better toys.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear within this post.

[Toy Review] Dame Arc Silicone G-Spot Vibrator

Sometimes, I unbox a toy and within two minutes, I know exactly what my review is likely to say. I’ll sometimes be proven wrong in the course of the testing process, but more often than not these days my first impressions are bang on. I guess that’s what comes from having tested well over 100 toys at this point.

I opened up the Dame Arc Silicone G-Spot Vibrator and very quickly ascertained that my review was most likely going to say, “great shape, shit vibrations.”

Reader, I was not wrong.

Meet the Dame

The Dame Arc is a curved silicone vibrator with a ridged bulb tip, designed for G-spot stimulation. It is 7.5 inches in total length, 4.5 inches insertable. It’s completely waterproof, USB rechargeable via the included cable, and has a travel lock function.

The Dame Arc retails for £99.99.

The Dame Arc silicone G-spot vibrator

I hate this toy’s outer packaging! It comes in a white, pink and blue box with a line illustration of the toy, and frankly the aesthetic makes me think of a medical device[1]. Not sexy.

The Dame Arc vibrator's external packaging. Picture by Lovehoney.

When you remove the outer sleeve, you find a plain pink box the same colour as the vibrator.

The Dame Arc is pink, but it’s a kind of muted dusky pink that I have to admit is quite pretty. It comes with an off-white drawstring storage pouch featuring the Dame Products logo.

The body-safe silicone is super soft and nice to handle. The toy’s body is rigid and it has very little “squish.”

My G-spot loves this shape

The shape of this toy is fantastic! It curves in exactly the right way to get that delicious come-hither motion against my G-spot, and the bulbed head is firm but not too hard.

The Dame Arc silicone G-spot vibrator

It’s comfortable to hold and easy to manipulate, with an ergonomic handle shape. The buttons are also sensibly placed on the underside of the curve (so they point upwards when the toy is inserted) and the controls are intuitive. There’s one on/off button that is also used to cycle between the 5 patterns, and up/down controls to control the 5 levels of intensity.

The vibrations, though, are sorely lacking

The Dame Arc’s vibrations are pretty pathetic.

Since I’m much more of a clitoral than a G-spot gal when it comes to vibrations, I decided to test this toy on my clit as well as internally. My clit was halfway to numb before I got anything approaching an orgasm out of it.

Obviously not everyone is into the kind of high-powered vibrations that I’m into, but in my anecdotal experience the overwhelming majority of people with vulvas would take stronger and rumblier vibrations over this weak, buzzy offering.

What I’m saying is: if you like gentle vibrations, sure, get this toy. (Except don’t because it’s a hundred fucking quid and a £20 equivalent will do the same thing.)

Do I recommend it?

Meh.

I’ll definitely be using this toy again, but I’ll leave it switched off and use it as a G-spot dildo. I highly doubt I’ll ever reach for it again for the vibrations.

It’s far too expensive for what it is. You can get a decent curved G-spot dildo for less than half the price, and the Queen of G-spot toys for only £30 more. There are both better and cheaper vibrators out there.

So yeah. I called it. Great shape, shit vibrations.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Dame Arc in exchange for an honest review. All views, as always, my own.

[1] As an aside, the currently sole reviewer on Lovehoney had this to say: “…this toy has been scientifically designed by female sexual-health and well-being specialists for one purpose alone, medical-grade gushing!” Which just made me howl with laughter. What the fuck is medical grade gushing!?

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Ignite Bullet Vibrator

“Dear Amy, where can I get a decent first sex toy that won’t break the bank?” I get a variation of this question in my inbox at least once every few weeks, and it’s a great question. Decent toys can be expensive. If you’re on a budget, or don’t want to spend a lot of money until you know what you like, choosing the right product can be minefield.

Enter Lovehoney’s new Ignite range, a line of six different sex toys for beginners and those on a budget. They all retail at a very affordable £29.99 each. Today we’ll take a closer look at the Lovehoney Ignite Bullet Vibrator.

Let’s take a closer look…

The Lovehoney Ignite Bullet Vibrator in my hand

The Ignite Bullet Vibrator is 3.5 inch long external vibrator in the classic “bullet” shape. It’s USB rechargeable (cable included,) and two hours of charge gives you around 100 minutes of run time. It is also fully waterproof. It has a travel-lock feature and even comes with a little drawstring storage bag. Not bad for a £30 toy!

I must admit that the first thing I noticed about this toy is that it is SHOCKINGLY pink. Like, absurdly pink. I would like to declare a moratorium on new sex toys being made in this colour, because there are already too many.

On the plus side, though, the Ignite Bullet Vibrator is coated entirely in smooth silicone, which is completely body-safe. Being waterproof, it is easy to clean with warm water and gentle soap. For a more thorough clean, use a body-safe medical wipe or a 10% bleach solution.

I bang on about this all the time, but for the benefit of the beginners: lube makes everything better! Body-safe water-based lube pairs beautifully with silicone sex toys.

Power and patterns

This toy has TWENTY different settings – 3 constant speeds and 17 patterns. As someone who generally doesn’t care for patterns and just wants constant vibrations, I found this a bit overkill. However, reminding myself that this is a toy aimed primarily at the entry-level market, the sheer number of settings mean it’s a great way to experiment and learn what kind of vibrations you enjoy.

The Lovehoney Ignite Desire Bullet

With one notable exception, the Lovehoney Ignite Bullet has the best vibrations I’ve ever found in a toy of this price-point. It’s packing some real power and doesn’t have that horrible numbing effect that some weaker vibes do.

I can get off quickly, easily and reliably with this toy. I like using the gently tapered end for more pinpoint stimulation, but you can also use it side on if broader vibrations work better for you. Because it’s so small and light, it’s ideal for fitting between bodies to provide clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex.

The volume level is about what you’d expect for the power. It’s not silent, but you’re not going to have the neighbours complaining either.

User interface

The Lovehoney Ignite Bullet really couldn’t be simpler! It operates on a single button user interface. The button is large, intuitively located on the base of the toy, and easy to press.

I always prefer up/down button options, especially when a toy has as many patterns as this one does. Scrolling all the way through if you miss the one you want is kinda infuriating.

Finally, an entry level toy that doesn’t suck!

Okay, not all entry level toys suck, obviously. But frankly, a huge majority of them do, and I always find it so disappointing. Beginners need good toys! People on a budget need good toys! So I’m really pleased with what Lovehoney have done with this one.

It’s simple, free from gimmicks, body-safe, and does what it says on the tin. Plus the power level is actually surprisingly decent.

So do I recommend it?

Yes, I’m happy to recommend the Ignite Bullet Vibrator as a good entry-level or budget-friendly clitoral vibrator. I’ll definitely be adding it to my list of recommendations for people who are exploring toys for the first time.

Next weekend I’ll be bringing you another product from this range, so watch this space!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! All views, as always, are my own. I’ve used affiliate links in this post.