My Favourite Kink: 3 Reasons I Love Orgasm Control

In a revelation that will be a surprise to precisely nobody who has met me: I LOVE orgasm control. It’s my absolute, number one fetish bar none. Something like 95t% of the time, when I’m masturbating, I’m fantasising, reading erotica or watching porn with orgasm control themes. (The other 5%, I’m probably thinking about gang-bangs, but that’s another post.) Seriously, this kink gets me the fuck off. (Which is ironic, really.)

I’m using “orgasm control” as a catch-all here. It can encompass orgasm denial, teasing and denial, edging, ruined orgasms, coming on command, forced orgasms and post-orgasm torture.

Today’s #KinkMonth post comes, again, from Kayla Lords’ 30 Days of D/s. Today, Kayla”s asking about orgasm control and what we think of it. I think I’ve just laid out pretty clearly what I think of it. But I wanted to share a little of the reason behind that with y’all.

So, here’s a quick-‘n’-dirty (so dirty) list of reasons why I fucking love giving someone else control over my release.

1. Because masochism.

It’s not the same kind of pain as being hit with something, but orgasm control is a form of sadomasochism in its own right. When I’ve been teased really good without release, my cunt starts to physically ache. I love it. (I also hate it, but that mindfuck is also part of the fun.)

Similarly, when I’ve been forced (or ordered – I can pretty much come on command with G-spot stimulation) to come over and over and over… it starts to get pretty damn painful. Sometime around the sixth orgasm it starts to get too much. Around the tenth, I’m begging for it to stop (and yet wishing for it to carry on forever.)

And… have you ever had an orgasm ruined? Fucking hell. That’s an ache – and a level of frustration – unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced.

2. Denial makes the final orgasm more intense.

Seriously. You know how if you get really close to the edge a few times while masturbating, it’s better when you do let yourself come? Yeah. That. Only more. Coming after a session of denial, whether it’s a play session of intense teasing or not being allowed to touch at all for a couple of days…. mmmfff. Be warned: doing this to me often results in a temporary loss of ability to walk or make sentences.

3. It makes me feel really submissive

My sexuality is a really, really important part of me. Our sexuality is a a pretty fundamental part of what makes us human! So to give up control over my sexual release to somebody else, even if only for the length of a scene, feels like placing a crucial aspect of my personhood into their hands and saying, “I trust you to use this to have fun and satisfy us both, and not use it to harm me.”

For my subby brain, which is pretty much the part that’s in control in the majority of kinky situations, this is super fucking hot.

Oof. Well. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go wank now.

Kinky product of the day: Cock rings! Check out this one, which is pure silicone and rechargeable.

This post contains affiliate links and if you buy through them, I make a small commission. All opinions are, and will always be, purely my own.

[Kink Product Review] Rouge Garments Leather Spiral Flogger

Did I mention that sex bloggers get the best goodie bags at our events? The lovely people at Rouge Garments provided various goodies for the June Lube and A Laptop social, and mine turned out to be this fittingly red red red (seriously this thing is so red) leather flogger.

This flogger is pretty hefty. End to end it’s about 71cm, of which 51cm is the falls and 20cm the handle. (On Rouge’s site it lists the length of falls as 47cm, so mine may be a slightly over-long prototype.) Either way it’s got a lot of length to it.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
The flogger retails at The Pleasure Garden for £32, which is a very reasonable price for a real leather product.

Materials: ★★★★
It’s 100% real leather, which is my material of choice for hitty items in general. Vegans and stricter vegetarians may want to steer clear, but that’s a matter of personal choice. (I’ll hold my hands up as a hypocritical vegetarian who loves leather here.)

Appearance & Quality: ★★★
It comes in pink, purple or red, which are pretty standard colours for kink gear. I’d love to see more variety in this area in general! The design is fine though I don’t think it’s the prettiest flogger ever – my personal taste in floggers leans more towards leather falls with a wooden or metal handle, rather than all-over leather, but that’s a matter of preference.

The Rouge flogger seems fairly strong and durable, but my one gripe (and it’s a pretty major one) is with the length of the falls. They’re not cut evenly and there is a disparity of more than an inch between the longest and shortest. This does, unfortunately, make an otherwise promising product look somewhat cheap and slapdash.

Ease of Wielding: ★★★
Like all longer floggers, it takes some practice to wield effectively, but this isn’t a criticism of the product. Generally the longer the hitty thing, the harder it is to wield. It is very light for its size, though, which is a plus point. I could use it for quite a while without my arm getting tired, and I’m far from the strongest person around. Mr CK pointed out that, due to the handle not being smooth (the leather is effectively wrapped around in a spiral shape,) the ridges did start to hurt his hand after using the flogger on me for a little while.

Feel: ★★★
I adore the feel of real leather on my skin, and this flogger has a good thud/sting balance. The weight is just enough to give it a nice thud, while the thin falls follow that initial thud with a little bit of stingy bite. The uneven falls do increase the tendency for mishits to happen, though, which led to a couple of “BAD ouch” moments. Not recommended for anyone who wants pure thud or intense sting, but a passable option if you like a mix.

Overall Score: ★★★
Not the greatest flogger I’ve ever used, but passable if you’re looking for something inexpensive. It’s an affordable option for people with some flogging experience who want to try out a larger flogger, and for anyone who wants to add some real leather to their collection without spending a fortune. If you want pure beauty and craft, though, I’d skip this one and head on over to Jack’s Floggers or Kabunza instead.

Thanks to Rouge Garments for providing these products in exchange for honest reviews. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Affiliate link to The Pleasure Garden sends a small commission my way if you buy.

Masturbation Monday: “Pinwheel”

Two firsts for me on the blog today: I’m taking part in my awesome friend Kayla‘s Masturbation Monday challenge for the first time (you can too! Click the link for details and to see everyone else’s smut.) I’m also writing erotica from the point of view of a person with a penis for the first time.

The prompt post is here (I’m not adding the picture because I don’t want the blog to get shut down due to images of genitals.)

Here’s my Masturbation Monday effort. It includes female dominance and male submission, tease/denial, and mild genital pain infliction. Usual disclaimers apply: all characters are legal adults and giving informed consent to everything portrayed here.

If you like this work and want to see more of it, become a Patron or buy me a coffee to say thanks!

“Pinwheel”

‘Do you want your cock touched?’ she asks, her fingers teasing the unyielding plastic of my cage as my dick strains against it, trying to get hard, trying to feel something.

“Please…” is all that comes out. She giggles, this woman I love, my wife of fifteen years and now also my Mistress of just over a year. She twirls a strawberry blonde curl with her left hand, while her right moves from my caged cock to my swollen balls.

“But it’d be such a shame. You’re so obedient when you’re frustrated and I’m worried that if I let you out now, you’ll just come and then all my hard work will be ruined.”

“I won’t come, Mistress,” I promise, even though there’s nothing I want more in the world. The traces a finger along the underside of my cock cage. I hear a whimper escape my lips.

“I’ll make you a deal,” she says. My breath catches. Her “deals” rarely end well for me. “I’ll let your cock out for a short while, but it’s going to be painful. You can accept the pain and thank me for it, or you can refuse. But if you refuse, you stay locked.”

Our eyes meet. Hers, sparkling wells of pure devilishness. Mine, pleading, pathetic.

“Well?” she prompts.

“Yes. I mean, yes please, Mistress. I’ll take the pain.”

She makes a show of fiddling with the key, on a long chain around her neck and usually buried somewhere in her spectacular cleavage. I get an amazing view of her tits as she leans forward to unlock me, but it just makes my dick harden even more, causing a squeezing pain. She eases the cage off me, so slowly that I just know she’s enjoying torturing me. Bitch. But God, I love her for it.

“Hands behind your back,” she orders. “Close your eyes. The moment you move your hands, open your eyes or ask for mercy, I’m locking you back up. Got it?”

I comply. “Yes, Mistress.”

I feel a hand cup my balls and squeeze. Not hard – she knows that intense ball torture is a hard limit for me – but enough to give me that delicious ache I both hate and crave. Then her fingers are on my cock, the feather light touch maddening, thirty seven days of pent up arousal all building at once. I screw my eyes closed and concentrate on not humping against her hand to get more stimulation. She hates that.

SLAP.

The stinging slap to my cock catches me by surprise, out of nowhere. I jump and cry out. She giggles. Then, the stern voice I know so well returns.

“You’re forgetting something.”

“Mistress?”

“You’re supposed to be thanking me for hurting your poor helpless cock.”

“Sorry Mistress. Thank you, Mistress. Please may I have more pain?”

“Good boy.” I am treated to perhaps five seconds of her gorgeous hand running up and down my shaft in just the way I like.

SLAP.

“Ahhh! Thank you, Mistress. Please may I have more?”

SLAP.

“Thank you, Mistress.”

SLAP SLAP SLAP.

I’m moaning in pleasure and pain, wondering if it’s possible to orgasm from cock slapping alone and if I would be punished if I do.

I hear her move away from me. The sound of the drawer opening. A rummaging. Oh, God, what is she looking for now? I hope it’s not that vicious little leather paddle she likes to use on my cock sometimes. That nearly brought me to tears last time.

Then her hand is on my cock again, stroking, tickling, teasing to the point that I think I might cry from this alone.

And then the sharp pain.

I jump. A squeak of surprise escapes my lips. I hear a soft laugh.

“Keep still, Sweetheart. I need to be very careful with this so I don’t hurt you… in a bad way,” she says wickedly. She runs the tool up my leg and I realise what it is – the Wartenburg pinwheel she found at the fetish market a few weeks back. She was so pleased with herself when I returned to her side after going to fetch her a glass of wine and she showed me her purchase. Her new instrument of torture.

She holds my cock firmly in one hand. With the other, the runs the pinwheel – slowly, so slowly – along the top length of my shaft. I am quivering. She does this a few more times, eliciting moans and whimpers from me as I fight to keep my hands behind my back and my eyes shut. No, she’ll lock me back up if I do that, and this delicious pain is much better than the frustration of that hated plastic device.

“God, you’re hard as a rock,” she murmurs, lifting my cock and running the pinwheel along the sensitive underside. “You love this, don’t you?”

I somehow know that this question is rhetorical. She knows I love it. I know I love it, this edge between agony and ecstasy.

The pinwheel is running once again along the underside of my cock shaft, pressed harder now, making me wince, though I know it won’t break my skin – the seller had assured her of that, she said. Designed to feel like it’s cutting you without actually doing any damage.

She pulls back my foreskin and I suck in my breath, knowing what’s coming. I screw my eyes more tightly shut and squeeze my hands together behind my back. I want to beg her not to do it. If I do, know she’ll stop, but then it’ll be back into the evil cage for my poor teased cock.

And then she does it. She drags that wicked, spiky wheel along the exposed head of my cock, which is already dripping pre-cum. My body betraying me. I squirm in place, my breathing coming in short, shuddering gasps. She does it again. Again. Traces the wheel all the way around my cock head in a circle. It hurts so bad. Hurts so good.

“My poor baby,” she murmurs. “Letting your Mistress torment your cock because you know it’s the only stimulation it’s going to get…”

“Yes… thank you, Mistress. Mistress, do you think…?” I let the question hang in the air.

“Do I think what?”

“You know what!”

“Maybe, but I want to hear you say it.” The wheel is back on the shaft of my cock again, running up and down, up and around the head, and then up and down on the other side.

“Will you please let me come today?”

She giggles. I hate that giggle. But I love it, and her, and the delicious pain she gives me. “No, sweetie. Not today.” The pinwheel is discarded on the bed. My cock aches, longing for more. “Let’s get you back into your cage. We’ll see about letting you come next week.”

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Masturbation Monday and associated logos and imagery are property of Kayla Lords. Click the pic to read everyone else’s smut this week… or to submit your own!