penis masturbator Archives

TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator review header

[Toy Review] TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator

Published on July 27, 2023July 27, 2023 by AmyLeave a comment

This review has been a while in the making, so first I would like to thank TWIJOY for being so patient with me. I prefer to get things done properly rather than rushing to get them out quickly, and between some ongoing life stuff and a bout of COVID, there’s been a lot going on at C&K HQ.

I would also like to thank my Twitter pal Gentleman_Perve for his assistance in testing this toy and providing feedback. Me and the readers appreciate you lending your penis to the cause of accurate sex toy reviews!

So with that said, let’s take a look at the TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator.

TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator: State of the Art Stroker

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator looks like a high-end kitchen appliance. “It looked right at home charging on my kitchen counter!”, G_P says. Its design is sleek and stylish, and it is not immediately obvious as a sex toy. It’s one of those “if you know you know” type things.

It has an opening at one end, housing a soft sleeve with textured nubbins. Those with shorter penises may find that they struggle to reach the rotating part. The interior material seems to be some kind of TPE. This material is body-safe for external use (though it is porous, so it’s best not to share this toy with anyone else for hygiene reasons.)

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator is IPX7 waterproof, meaning it can be submerged in water for play in the bath or shower and for ease of cleaning. It is rechargeable via the included cable.

Buttons and Controls

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator operates on a 5 button interface that is easy to decipher and use.

You’ll need to long-press the On/Off button to switch your toy on or off. The Rotate button rotates the inner sleeve, pressing the button again changes its pattern, and pressing and holding it stops the rotating. The Sucking button allows you to turn the sucking function on and off and to cycle through the different settings, and the Pressure button allows you to increase the toy’s pressure. Finally, the Exhaust button releases the toy with a short press.

So far, so intuitive!

Functionality and Feel

One of the greatest selling points of the TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator is that it comes with so much inbuilt functionality. Between the rotating, sucking, and pressure functions, it’s easy to customise your experience. It can reach up to an impressive 200 rotations per minute!

The toy’s entrance is generously sized but may still feel tight particularly if your penis is girthy. Always use plenty of lube for a comfortable experience.

“I hit the Pressure button, but something that on my thumb had been pleasurable on my penis felt like it was going to rip my foreskin off!” says G_P. “I hit the Exhaust button which helped a lot,” he adds. So unless you like a LOT of tightness to the point of pain, you might want to be careful with that Pressure button!

The rotate button fared much better, offering a pleasurable stimulating feeling as the nubbins rotate around the shaft and head of the penis. If you prefer constant stimulation, you may find the patterns frustrating. They tend to stop and start or switch direction. Others will enjoy this variation. It’s purely a “your mileage may vary” situation. The steady speeds are quite slow, so that may be an issue if you prefer fast and furious rather than slow and steady.

“Next I tried the suck function, which uses the vacuum to suck and release in a number of different patterns,” G_P says. “Fortunately the increase and decrease in pressure here were much better than with the pressure button. It was very clever.” You can use these functions both separately and together.

One thing to bear in mind is that the suction on this toy is strong. “I tried to remove my penis and found it firmly suctioned into the device and painful to remove,” G_P says. “The Exhaust button was no use, so I had to open the case at the top where it separates for cleaning and release the pressure.”

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator is also loud, sounding like somewhere between a kitchen appliance and breathing apparatus. Truly silent motorised sex toys do not exist, so I always take claims that a toy is quiet with a pinch of salt. You do have to deal with a certain level of volume if you want power. But it’s something to be aware of if volume is an issue for you.

App Connectivity

When you buy your TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator, you have to select either the Android or iOS operating system. Make sure you get the right one, or you won’t be able to use your toy with the app! I received the Android version.

G_P reported that app connectivity was difficult. Once you have downloaded the app, you have to log in using Google, Facebook, or something similar or create an account with your email address. If security is a concern for you, use a burner account.

When you download and connect to the TWIJOY app, you’ll be awarded 300 tokens as a joining offer. This can be used to purchase time with the various webcam models who work through the platform if interactive online play is your thing (including letting them take control of your toy remotely.) You can buy more credits if you wish.

Another fun function of the TWIJOY app is the ability to send a control link to another person. This allows them to control your toy from anywhere in the world. This can be fun for long distance couples.

The app itself seems fairly simple and intuitive to use, with a clean and user-friendly interface.

Verdict

A mixed bag, this one. Overall, the main selling point of this toy seems to be for those who enjoy playing with cam models online. If having your favourite performer take control of your toy sounds like a fun time, then this toy will be a great choice for you.

It’s also a good option if you are looking for a technologically sophisticated toy to use with a long distance partner. If you’re just looking for a straightforward masturbator, though, it would not be my first recommendation.

The TWIJOY NIGHT Interactive Masturbator retails for £100.

Thanks to TWIJOY for sponsoring this review. All opinions are mine and the tester’s own. Pictures are by TWIJOY.

Habakon B-Warrior masturbator review header

[Toy Review] Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator

Published on May 28, 2023May 28, 2023 by AmyLeave a comment

I don’t review all that many penis toys on this site for the simple and obvious reason that I do not have a penis. I do, however, have a very accommodating and penis-enabled nesting partner who is often very willing to lend his genitals to the cause of sex blogging (#DoinItForTheReaders! You’re welcome.)

Today’s review is of a penis masturbator (often and erroniously called a “male masturbator” – not all men have penises and not everyone with a penis is a man!) by a new-to-me brand. So how did the Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator fare in testing?

Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator

The Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator is a handheld masturbation sleeve designed for people with penises. It measures 9.5″ in length and has an insertable depth of 5.5″.

The exterior (the portion you hold in your hand) is made of ABS plastic. The interior (the part you put your penis into) is made of TPE. I’d prefer it was silicone, of course, but I can forgive TPE for a non-insertable toy. However, it’s best if you don’t share this toy, and you shouldn’t expect it to last forever even with good care as TPE is porous.

The internal portion is removeable for easy cleaning. Pop it out and wash it with warm water and gentle soap, then let it dry thoroughly before putting it back into the case. Some people say that dusting TPE toys with a little cornstarch helps them to retain their quality and structural integrity for longer.

The Habakon B-Warrior is rechargeable via the included USB cable, with a 2 hour charge giving you around an hour of runtime. It is not waterproof, so do not use it in the bath or shower and always remove the sleeve for cleaning.

In Use

The first thing I noticed straight away about the Habakon B-Warrior when I took it out of the box is this: it’s really, really heavy. This may or may not be a problem for you, of course, but if holding and manipulating heavy objects is problem that’s something to be aware of. I can’t hold it and use it on my partner for very long due to its weight, though he had less trouble using it on himself. I have tiny hands, which probably didn’t help.

"Male masturbation sleeve," or masturbator for penis owners

The TPE interior is really soft and feels lovely to the touch. It’s also heavily textured inside for additional stimulation. Unlike some penis toys I’ve seen, this one seems to be genuinely suited to dicks of all sizes. You’d be amazed how many toys we’ve tried in which, without putting too fine a point on it, my partner’s dick simply wouldn’t fit. Not the case here and, with the help of a little water-based lube (necessary as TPE can be quite grabby), he was able to slide straight into it with no discomfort.

The Habakon B-Warrior isn’t too loud, but it’s sound is very distinctive. In particular, when the suction is on you’ll get a sort of squelching noise followed by a squeak. How much that bothers you, though, will be down to individual preference.

Settings & Controls

The Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator offers two modes of stimulation: vibration and suction.

The vibrations are incredibly weak, unfortunately. I could literally barely feel them on my fingers and my partner said the same thing about his penis. I don’t know if the problem is the placement of the motor or the quality of the motor (or both), but if you like intense vibrations, skip this one.

The suction mechanism is better. It gives a definite and intense squeeze. “I feel like I’m being milked!” my partner commented. He said he thinks it’s unlikely this toy would ever make him orgasm. But if the idea of having the orgasm squeezed out of your dick with a sucking type motion appeals to you, you’ll love the B-Warrior Masturbator.

The controls are simple: turn the toy on and off with the largest button, then use the two icon buttons to switch between vibration and suction settings. There are 4 vibration modes, 3 suction modes, and something called “one click orgasm”. The latter involves pressing a separate button on the back of the toy, which then enhances the sucking mechanism. This supposedly “allows you to reach climax any time” but… bodies don’t really work like that. Still, it might up the pleasure if more intense suction is a thing you like!

The buttons are large, well-placed, and easy to press.

Verdict

My verdict on this one is a mix. Ultimately, it didn’t work particularly well for us. However, that’s likely to be a matter of preference rather than a direct comment on the quality of the toy. It may work great for you!

The Habakon B-Warrior Automatic Masturbator retails for $66.99. My readers can get 15% off with the code Habakon01.

This review was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write an honest and fair review. All opinions are my own (and Mr C&K’s!)

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day 14 header - textured stroker

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #14: Textured Stroker

Published on November 8, 2022November 7, 2022 by AmyLeave a comment

14 days down, 10 to go! I’m unboxing Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 Sex Toy Advent Calendar day by day and bringing you a mini review of everything that’s inside.

Read the rest of the series here and, if you decide to buy the calendar or anything else from Lovehoney, please click through via one of my affiliate links. It sends a small commission my way and helps keep the blog going at no additional cost to you.

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 14: Textured Stroker

Product Info

Material: TPE
Colour: Translucent white
Body safe? Sort of. TPE isn’t toxic, but it is porous and will harbour bacteria.
Waterproof: Yes, submersible
Size: 6″ long and 4″ wide when flat
Lube compatible: Yes, water-based is recommended
Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. Please note that TPE can be washed but cannot be sterilised.

Pros

Nice ribbed and dotted texturing
Flat wrap-around design makes it suitable for all penis sizes

Cons

Weird powdery texture that makes my sensory issues unhappy
Material cannot be properly sterilised due to its porous nature
May only last a few uses

Verdict

This is an interesting design; I like that it’s flat and wrap-around rather than the usual tube shape, and the texturing is excellent. Due to it being made of porous TPE, which will start to break down after a while, it’s probably only going to last a short time. Grab a silicone stroker if you enjoy this sensation and want a longer-lasting toy!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the 2022 Couples’ Sex Toy Advent Calendar, which retails for £130 and contains £374.99 worth of products, to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going! US readers can buy it here.

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day 2 header

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Day #2: Ribbed Stroker

Published on October 27, 2022October 28, 2022 by AmyLeave a comment

It’s that time of year again, and I’m pleased to be bringing you another day-by-day unboxing of Lovehoney and Womanizer’s 2022 Sex Toy Advent Calendar! Let’s see what’s behind Door #2…

Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2022 Day 2: Ribbed Stroker

Ribbed stroker from Lovehoney sex toy advent calendar 2022

Product Info

Material: TPE, I think
Colour: Translucent white
Body safe? Kinda. TPE isn’t toxic but it is porous and will harbour bacteria
Waterproof: Yes, submersible
Size: 4″ in length, very stretchy
Lube compatible: Yes, water-based only
Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. Please note that TPE can be washed but cannot be sterilised

Pros

Small pocket in the side, allowing you to insert yesterday’s bullet vibrator (or any bullet vibe of your choice)
Soft, squishy feeling material
Very stretchy, making it suitable for the vast majority of dick sizes
Nice internal texturing

Cons

Material cannot be fully sterilised due to its porous nature
Material is already starting to tear around the holes
Likely only good for a few uses

Verdict

An okay stroker for a few uses, or for a beginner to find out if this is a sensation they enjoy. It won’t last long, though, so if you enjoy using it I recommend upgrading to a silicone stroker ASAP.

Header image for Lovehoney advent calendar penis stroker Tenga Egg style toy review

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #12: Penis Stroker

Published on October 1, 2021March 4, 2022 by AmyLeave a comment

Receiving the Lovehoney “Best Sex of Your Life” adult advent calendar was a slight moment of sex blogger pride for me. I’ve coveted these things to review for a while, but this is the first time I’ve been able to get my hands on one.

I’m opening a door each day and reviewing the set a piece at a time, occasionally with Mr CK’s help. Today is Day 12!

Door #12: Penis Stroker

Lovehoney male stroker male masturbator in box

Behind Door #12 is a stroker for people with penises. (It’s called a “male stroker” on the box. Lovehoney, I love you but please sort out the unnecessarily gendered language for next year!)

Material: Some kind of soft plastic, most likely TPE/TRP.
Colour: White.
Body safe? Kinda. The box indicates these strokers do not contain any phthalates, but the material is super porous. They’re safe enough for external use but won’t last very long.
Power: N/A
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 2.5″ in length but SUPER stretchy.
Lube compatible: Water-based only, according to the instructions.
Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. This material is porous so you won’t be able to get it fully clean. Consider it fluid-bonded to the person who uses it. I’d also suggest you throw it out after a few uses or if the material starts to degrade.

This specific product doesn’t seem to be available by itself, but it is very similar to the strokers you get in Tenga Eggs. It is textured inside and designed to fit over the head of the penis and then stretch as you masturbate your (or your partner’s) penis.

It’s very stretchy and pretty strong, so it will accommodate a wide range of sizes and you don’t need to worry about ripping it. It comes pre-lubricated, but adding extra water-based lube will only make your experience more enjoyable.

Lovehoney penis stroker on Godemiche Adam silicone dildo — Feat. Godemiche Adam dildo in Effulgence Blood Red

How does it feel? Let’s just say I got a very good response from an initially-sceptical Mr CK. If you usually masturbate with your hand, strokers can be a brilliant way to change things up and add a new sensation. And if you enjoy hand sex with a partner, a textured penis stroker can turn a good hand job into an amazing hand job.

If you get this kit and enjoy using this stroker, I’d suggest swapping out to a more durable (preferably silicone) one when you can. Failing that, Tenga Eggs are pretty affordable at £9.99 so you can just replace them frequently.

Get 10% off the Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar (RRP £120) by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout. These calendars are only available for a limited time and will sell out, so grab yours asap if you’re interested.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending us the Best Sex of Your Life couples’ sex toy advent calendar to review. All views are our own. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping through them helps to keep the site going!

Header image for Lovehoney adult advent calendar beaded stroker review

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendar Door #7: Beaded Stroker

Published on September 26, 2021March 4, 2022 by AmyLeave a comment

Update 04/03/22: this product is seasonal only and has been discontinued. Individual components may still be available.

We’ve come to the end of the first week of my adventure into Lovehoney’s “Best Sex of Your Life” sex toy advent calendar. This set of 24 sex toys and sex-related surprises is aimed primarily at couples who are newer to sex toys, and assumes one penis owner and one vulva owner, though many of the items are usable by anyone.

So what do we have closing out week 1?

Door #7: Beaded Stroker

Beaded stroker in Lovehoney sex toy advent calendar

Today’s product is a beaded stroker for people with penises. Here’s a quick rundown of the details:

Material: “Soft plastic”, which I think means some kind of TPE or TPR.
Colour: Semi-translucent black.
Body safe? Dubious. Lovehoney claims this material does not contain phthalates, but it is definitely porous. I’m less leery about porous materials for external-only toys such as strokers, but it’s less than ideal. It probably won’t hurt you but it won’t stay hygienic for very long so don’t expect it to last forever.
Power: N/A
Waterproof: Yes, submersible.
Size: 5″ in total length, very stretchy.
Lube compatible: I suggest you only use water-based lube with this one.
Cleaning: Gentle soap and warm water. The porous material means this one will never get 100% clean, so don’t sterilise it and expect to replace it after a few uses.

This stroker contains two rows of small metal beads designed to stimulate the shaft of the penis as you masturbate (or give your partner a hand job). These offer a different and interesting sensation from a regular stroker or a toy-free wank session. Its non-anatomical design

Don’t be fooled by the Beaded Stroker’s small opening – it’s very stretchy and flexible and will accommodate dicks of most sizes. Here it is around the large and girthy Godemiche Adam to illustrate my point:

Godemiche Adam red silicone dildo with Lovehoney beaded stroker

You’ll definitely need to use plenty of lube regardless of your size. This material is quite grabby when it’s not properly lubricated, and that can cause the wrong kind of friction. If you’ve got a foreskin, be especially careful, as using a stroker without sufficient lube can cause it to pull back too far (ouch).

Speaking from the giver’s perspective, using a stroker can ease pressure on your wrist and make it easier to jerk your partner off for longer without discomfort. Win-win!

This toy seems to be a variation on Lovehoney’s BASICS Beaded Stroker, which retails for £12.99. It’s perfectly fine as an introduction to masturbators for individuals and couples who are newer to sex toys. If you enjoy using it, though, I really suggest that you invest in a silicone stroker. This will last far longer as well as being safer and more hygienic.

Grab your Best Sex of Your Life sex toy advent calendar from Lovehoney for £120 and get 10% off your entire purchase (of this or anything else) by using my code “coffkink10” at checkout. Don’t forget that these calendars are limited in number, so get yours before they sell out.

Header image for review of the Cobra Libre II penis masturbator from Fun Factory and Lovehoney

[Toy Review] Fun Factory x Lovehoney Cobra Libre II Masturbator

Published on May 21, 2021March 4, 2022 by AmyLeave a comment

My lovely partner is very patient and accommodating when it comes to putting various things on his genitals so I can bring honest reviews to you all. He’s also, over the years, got pretty good at identifying quickly whether something will work for him. He was not hopeful about the Cobra Libre II masturbator from Fun Factory and Lovehoney. Even so, we went in with an open mind and gave it a good go.

Was he proven right or wrong? Read on to find out…

Cobra Libre II

The Cobra Libre II is a masturbator for penis owners made by Fun Factory in collaboration with Lovehoney. This version is availavle in an exclusive colourway that is described as “blue” but is really more of a rich sea green.

The Cobra Libre II is a penetratable masturbator with two motors. It is designed to deliver focused stimulation to the head of the penis. The main casing of the toy is ABS plastic, and the sleeve section is stretchy silicone. It is fully waterproof and rechargeable via the included USB cable.

The Good Bits

Well, the materials are body-safe, but that’s really more “bare minimum” than “selling point.”

The Cobra Libre II’s motors are decently powerful and rumbly (though, as we’ll see in a moment, badly placed.) The battery power is excellent, lasting for well over 2 hours on the top setting, and the Cobra Libre II isn’t excessively loud.

Honestly that’s about all I can think to say is good about it.

The Bad Bits

The Cobra Libre II’s actual opening is surprisingly small. The advertising copy says it’s supposed to accommodate 3.5″, but that’s really only going to be true for folks with penises on the slimmer side. Anyone who is even a little bit girthy is likely to find that their penis simply… doesn’t really fit.

Vibrating masturbator silicone masturbation sleeve

And can we talk about that motor placement!? When I turned the toy on, it felt pretty powerful in my hand. But when I stuck my fingers into the opening, the vibes felt a lot weaker inside. This is pretty poor form for something that is designed to be penetrated.

When my partner tried using it on his penis, he confirmed that the vibrations feel very weak when you’re actually using it. If your hand is getting buzzed more than your penis, it’s a poorly designed sex toy.

Finally, the controls are confusing. You press the red “FUN” button to turn it on and off, which is fine, but the up and down controls to cycle through the patterns are really weird.

The + button cycles through the settings one way, but the – button always takes you back to the same setting (the highest constant vibration speed) and then down through the other two constant speeds, no matter where you start from. So if you accidentally skip the setting you like, it can take a lot of button presses to get back to it.

The Verdict

We’d have been seriously disappointed with this product had we paid the full retail price of £129.99 ($129.99 US). I asked Mr CK to summarise his overall experience of using it and he said “a waste of time and a perfectly good boner.”

If you like very concentrated and relatively weak vibrations around just the head of your penis, you might find it a winner. But if you prefer pleasure along the whole of the shaft (or need very powerful vibrations) then don’t bother.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Cobra Libre II to review. All views, as always, are my own. This post contains affiliate links!

12 Days of Lovehoney "Best Night Ever" kit review

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Best Night Ever Couple’s Sex Toy Kit

Published on December 10, 2020March 4, 2022 by AmyLeave a comment

It’s already day ten of the #12DaysofLovehoney project! After today, I have just one more review to publish and then the very special giveaway coming on Saturday. Today, we’re looking at Lovehoney’s “Best Night Ever” Couple’s Sex Toy Kit.

Oh, and while you’re here, check out the whole series!

What’s in the Box and Who Is It For?

The Best Night Ever kit is one of Lovehoney’s sex toy bundles. It includes five toys:

Vibrating silicone butt plug
Silver bullet vibe
Stretchy silicone cock ring that can be used with or without the bullet vibrator
Finger vibrator
Reversible penis stroker

Box of Lovehoney Best Night Ever sex toy kit for couples

This kit is designed for a couple consisting of a person with a penis and a person with a vulva. (The packaging and ad copy does, sadly, use gendered language along the “for him” and “for her” lines.) So bear that in mind as we proceed with the review. I’d love to see Lovehoney come out with some additional, similar kits that are geared at couples with two penis owners or two vulva owners!

Sex toys for couples in Lovehoney Best Night Ever kit

I thought I’d look at each item in turn, and then at the set as a whole.

Silicone Butt Plug

This is probably the best item in the kit from a quality point of view. It’s a little over 5″ in length, of which 4″ are insertable. It tapers to a narrow tip, making it comfortable to insert, and the silicone base makes it both body-safe and comfortable to wear for some time.

The silicone butt plug takes 1 AAA battery, and offers 3 vibration speeds and 7 patterns. The vibrations are mediocre in strength and fairly buzzy, but the plug itself is of great quality. If you’re looking for a basic, slimline plug, the Best Night Ever kit has got you covered.

Silver Bullet Vibe

As far as I can tell, this is near identical to the silver bullet vibe that Lovehoney sells as a separate product… and that was the first sex toy I ever bought at the tender age of 18!

It’s made of hard ABS plastic and takes one AAA battery. Like the butt plug, it features 3 speeds and 7 patterns. I think it’s the same motor that’s in the butt plug, but the vibrations feel a little stronger. That’s probably because hard plastic doesn’t dampen the vibrations in the same way that silicone does.

Still not super powerful and still pretty buzzy, but overall not a bad first vibe for someone who doesn’t need very intense stimulation to get off. My first little Lovehoney bullet vibe served me well for a good couple of years!

Cock Ring

This silicone cock ring can be used by itself or with the bullet vibe. It features two rings, one to go around the penis and one behind the testicles. The rings are very slim and stretchy, allowing them to fit snugly but comfortably around most penises.

The purpose of a cock ring is to restrict blood flow out of the penis, making the wearer’s erection harder and longer lasting. At first glance, I wasn’t sure this ring would do anything. However, it’s stronger than it looks!

Using it with the bullet vibe can provide some gentle additional stimulation which can be pleasurable for both the wearer and their partner.

Finger Vibe

The finger vibrator is the weakest aspect of this kit, for me. For one thing, the ring you use to put it on your finger is ridiculously small. I have pretty tiny hands and found it too tight and uncomfortable on any but my little finger.

Finger vibrator from Lovehoney sex toys couples kit

Second, the vibrations are truly pathetic. I didn’t know it was possible for something to be so buzzy it makes my clitoris itch, but here we are. There’s no way this would ever do anything for me except numb me out and make me grumpy.

Reversible Stroker

The reversible stroker provides two different sensations. It’s tight but stretchy, so whatever size your penis is you can expect a snug and pleasurable fit. You’ll need to use plenty of lube both inside the stroker and on the penis, or it could be uncomfortable.

The reversible stroker is made of a TPE style soft plastic which, while not toxic and safe for external play, is a porous material. That means it will degrade over time. You’ll probably get a few months out of it, but I recommend investing in a silicone stroker once you’ve established that you like the sensation!

Best Night Ever Kit: Overall Contents & Value

The Best Night Ever sex toy kit is a mixed bag. The items are of decent quality and made of body-safe materials. However, where it really falls down is in the strength (or lack thereof) of the motors.

Best Night Ever sex toys for couples kit

That being said, this kit retails for a pretty affordable £39.99 ($49.99 US), which is cheaper than buying all the products separately. If you’re new to toys and just trying things out to see what you like, this kit could be a good place to start. For people who are just looking for a few basic staples, it will probably serve your needs, too. If you’re after more powerful toys, though, skip the kit and invest in one powerful vibrator instead.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this and all my review posts. Want to support the blog? Buying me a coffee is a great way to do that!

Header image of the Blowmotion Pulse Vibration masturbator review

[Toy Review] Blowmotion Pulse Vibration Masturbator

Published on December 1, 2020March 4, 2022 by AmyLeave a comment

Update 04/03/22: this product has been discontinued.

Happy December, gang! Today is the first day of a very special project I’m working on with my friends at Lovehoney. It’s called the #12DaysofLovehoney and every day from today until December 11th, I’ll be bringing you a new product review. On the 12th, there will be an opportunity to win an exciting prize!

First up is the Blowmotion Pulse Vibration, a masturbator for people with penises. Being the good sport he is, ~~my stunt cock~~ Mr CK had ample input into this review. Let’s get started.

What is the Blowmotion Pulse Vibration?

Blowmotion is a range of toys for penis owners exclusively available at Lovehoney. I received the Blowmotion Pulse Vibration masturbator, which looks like this:

It is 6 inches long in total, but the canal (the bit where the penis goes) is only about two inches deep. Powered by electro-magnetic technology, it is designed to deliver stimulation to the head of the penis (the most sensitive part for a lot of people).

The Blowmotion arrived in a sleek black and green box – the packaging wouldn’t be out of place housing a fancy gadget or a high-end aftershave. The toy is also black with green accents. It’s smart and masculine without being aggressively MANLY.

The Blowmotion is USB rechargeable and I got about 40 minutes of play out of a full charge. Passable, but not great. It is made of smooth and body-safe silicone, which is a very welcome change from penis toys made from gross jelly materials and porous TPE! The silicone on one side of the canal is stretchy, allowing for comfortable insertion. Just remember to use plenty of water-based lube.

Settings and controls

The Blowmotion Pulse Vibration features two forms of stimulation: standard vibrations, and the thrusting motion that gave it its name. Settings are controlled via 3 buttons: the middle button switches the toy on and off, the top one controls the thrusting, and the bottom one controls the vibrations.

There are 7 thrusting modes (3 speeds and 4 patterns) and 14 vibration modes (5 speeds and 9 patterns). Since you can control them separately, you can use them in any combination you wish, including leaving either one switched off entirely. The versatility is impressive and makes the toy more likely to be friendly to a range of bodies.

The buttons are a little small and fiddly. I also found that the setting didn’t always change reliably – sometimes I had to press a button twice. And having to scroll through 7 or 14 settings if you accidentally miss the one you like? Yeah, that’s annoying.

How did it feel?

Though we were initially impressed with the look and luxurious feel of the Blowmotion, we found it disappointing in practice. Since the thrusting motion is concentrated in the base of the toy, Mr CK reported that he could hardly feel it. I stuck my fingers in it and switched it on to get an idea of the sensation, and was similarly underwhelmed. The vibrations are okay, but pretty buzzy and nothing to write home about, power-wise.

This toy is also not ideal if you like a lot of attention paid to your shaft as opposed to just the head of your penis. Since it’s only 2 inches deep, it’s really a head-only toy. If you prefer all stimulation focused there, you might find the Blowmotion Pulse Vibration ideal. Otherwise, it probably won’t do much for you.

It’s also worth noting that if you’re above average in the girth department, the Blowmotion might be uncomfortable for you to use. The canal is fairly narrow and that little bit of stretch will only get you so far.

Mr CK wasn’t able to get anywhere close to orgasm with it, and we’re unlikely to use it again.

Final thoughts

While we loved the idea of the Blowmotion, it just doesn’t really deliver in practice. In my opinion, it’s not worth the £74.99 pricetag. You’ll be better off buying a wand and a masturbator attachment.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this and all toy review posts. Want to support the blog? Buying me a coffee is a great way to do that!

Header image for a review of the Satisfyer Men Heat & Vibration

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Men Heat & Vibration Masturbator

Published on May 14, 2019March 3, 2022 by Amy1 Comment

Satisfyer are really churning them out lately, aren’t they? A few weeks after receiving the now-infamous shipment of 7 new toys for vulvas, I received a parcel the other day containing two new penis toys. They seem very similar, so I got rid of one via a Twitter giveaway, and kept the other one to ~~test~~ make Mr CK test. Meet the Satisfyer Men Heat & Vibration Masturbator(hereafter ‘Satisfyer Men Heat’).

Keep your gendered marketing

I’m opposed to gendered marketing of sex toys. Not everyone who has a penis is a man, and not all men have penises! Trans and nonbinary people exist! Unnecessarily gendering toys not only makes trans and NB folks feel ignored and sidelined, it’s also just bad business. Why would you want to alienate a part of your potential customer base? So I was already a bit “ugh” about this product just from the name. But I tried to keep an open mind, I really did.

“A stylish playmate for modern guys”

This is how the Satisfyer Men Heat is described in their marketing copy. I mean… okay, I guess? The colour scheme is black and silver, a minimalistic and stereotypically masculine aesthetic. At first glance, the toy looks like a cross between a portable coffee cup and a torch. One end is closed, and the other is a hole where you insert the penis. The outer is made of ABS plastic, and the fuckable end (sorry, I can’t think how else to describe it) is lined with soft, squishy silicone.

Fuck it, describing this toy is hard, here’s a visual.

The Satisfyer Men Heat & Vibration on a white sheet

The Satisfyer Men Heat features a heating function, which warms the toy to three possible levels, the highest being 104F (about 40C, or slightly over normal body temperature). This is designed to make the experience “breathtakingly realistic” which, one assumes, means “it feels like a vagina”. Then there’s “like a blowjob… but BETTER!” as the box claims. I’m skeptical to say the least, but let’s move on.

Size-wise, it’s got about 2.75″ of penetrable depth (so if you like really deep penetration, this isn’t going to be for you). It’s about 3″ wide, and the hole that you penetrate is around 1.5″.

Close up of the Satisfyer Men Heat & Vibration

The Satisfyer Men Heat is USB rechargeable and fully waterproof.

Settings & controls

The Satisfyer Men Heat has 4 buttons set into a control panel on the front of the toy. The on/off button is at the top and also changes the vibration pattern. Then you have the +/- buttons to change the speed, and lastly the temperature control button. You can set the toy warming without the vibrations being on, so you might want to give it a few minutes to warm up before playing. It starts getting warm very quickly and the instructions say it comes to temperature in five minutes.

This control panel is really where the problems started. The buttons are not raised at all, so you cannot feel for them with your fingers without a visual. They’re also not clearly marked – thin grey markings on a black background! This means it’s basically impossible to see the buttons properly during use unless you’re in very good light and have perfect vision. In low light, forget it. Mr CK also pointed out that this makes the toy really inaccessible to those with any kind of visual impairment.

Additionally, though you are supposed to be able to adjust the heating function, there is no discernible way to tell which heat setting it’s on. You just get the flashing thermometer icon to indicate that the warming function is on.

This toy boasts “70 different vibration combinations”. I’m not sure how the maths works here, given that by my count it has 8 possible speeds and 6 patterns, making a total of 48 possible options. But what do me and my D in GCSE maths know!?

Care and cleaning

About the best thing I can say about this product is that it is body-safe, which is still shockingly rare for penis toys. Standard masturbators like Fleshlights are all made from porous materials such as TPE, which harbour bacteria and are impossible to get completely clean. Fortunately, silicone is non-porous, phthalate-free and 100% safe. At least Satisfyer got THAT right.

As the Satisfyer Men Heat is waterproof, you can clean it with warm water and gentle soap. It’s a bit of a pain to get clean given the shape, but it can be done with a bit of extra care. If you want to share this toy with a non fluid-bonded partner, you can use it while wearing a condom. As always, I recommend water-based lube – and you’re going to need PLENTY of it if you attempt to use this thing.

So how did it work?

“Badly” is, unfortunately, the short and sweet answer. Mr CK was able to fit his penis into the toy with the help of plenty of lube, but he found it uncomfortable. Anyone with a larger than average penis, especially if you’re quite girthy, should avoid this product – you just won’t fit or it’ll hurt! Despite the squishyness of the silicone, it doesn’t have much “give” to make extra room – and one side is completely rigid. This is really a “one size” toy, which doesn’t work at all because penises are so infinitely and gloriously varied. It also makes a squelching noise when you penetrate it, which – while giggle-inducing – is not sexy.

Additionally, the vibrations just didn’t measure up. Even at the highest setting, they’re pretty pathetically weak. Mr CK very quickly concluded that there was zero chance of this toy bringing him anywhere near to orgasm.

When the best your partner can manage is a shrug and an “it’s not… unpleasant?” you know you’re not on to a winning toy.

“But does it feel like fucking a vagina?” I asked. “No,” he said.

“And is it better than a blow job?” “No,” he said again. Never one to waste words.

The verdict

Unfortunately we cannot recommend this product. If you have a penis on the smaller side AND enjoy gentle vibrations, you might get something out of this toy – but otherwise we suggest you spend your money elsewhere. Check out the Godemiche OffBeat, the Hot Octopuss Pulse III or the Hummer wand attachment for some of my most often-recommended penis toys.

Sorry, Satisfyer – I still love you (you’ll have my heart for a while for that amazing flower thing) but seriously, please stop churning things out quite so quickly and develop them more rigorously first.

The Satisfyer Men Heat & Vibration Masturbator retails for $59.95.

Thanks to Satisfyer for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. All views are, as ever, my own. Pictures are by me. Affiliate links contained within this post make me a small commission if you use them to make a purchase.