It feels a bit sacrilegious to say this, but I think I’ve found a bullet vibrator I like more than the hallowed We-Vibe Tango. And it’s an unassuming little thing from Blush Novelties that retails at the shockingly reasonable price of $32 (about £24 for my Brit readers). Meet the Exposed Nocturnal “lipstick bullet,” sent to me by Peepshow Toys, excellent purveyors of body-safe toys for all budgets.
Details and Dimensions
The Exposed Nocturnal bullet is 4″ long in total and has a dimension of 0.9″. It’s shaped, as the advertising copy implies, like a lipstick – a cylindrical body leading to a gently tapered tip with one flat edge. I really like this shape for clitoral vibrators, because it gives you so many options. You can use the tip, the flat edge or the whole shaft, depending on how pinpoint you like your vibrations.
The Exposed Nocturnal is waterproof, submersible, and USB-rechargeable. It comes in four colour-ways, three of which can be described as variations on “pink,” and the fourth (called “Sugar Plum”) is purple. The colours are sort of shimmery in quality, which is really attractive.
Functionality & Interface
The Exposed Nocturnal bullet has a simple two-button user interface built into the base (which is also where the magnetic charging points are). You hold down the + button to switch on, use the + and – buttons to navigate the various settings, and hold down the – button to switch off.
This is one of the areas where this toy really comes out ahead of the Tango, as well as most of the lower priced toys on the market – you can cycle either way through the settings! Gone up a notch and decided it’s too intense? No worries, you can skip straight back down again without cycling all the way through.
My only real complaint, and it’s a minor one, is that the buttons and markings on them are so small that it can be hard to see which is which in low light. I would also have liked a travel lock, but you can’t have everything.
Body-Safe and Easy to Clean
The Exposed Nocturnal bullet is made of body-safe ABS plastic, which is non-porous and non-toxic. I really enjoy hard plastic as a toy material, because it’s so firm that it doesn’t dampen down the strength of the vibrations at all.
For extra protection if you’re sharing your toys, pop a condom over it or clean it thoroughly between users.
In Use: Power for Days!
Power is always the crunch point for me, when it comes to whether I like a toy or not. Basically, I want power and lots of it! And ohhhh boy, did the Exposed Nocturnal bullet deliver in this area.
It has 10 settings: five constant speeds and five patterns. Mr CK was stunned when I switched this toy on to show him its power, then said “and that’s the LOWEST setting!” It’s got less pure rumble than the Tango, but no less power. (If the Tango is a 9 on a 1-10 scale of rumbliness, this toy is about a 7.5). Starting out at a low rumble and building up to what I can only describe as a tiny power tool, make no mistake: this baby is extremely powerful. I can come reliably, in only a few minutes, with this toy on the lowest setting – which is practically unheard of for me.
I should mention that it’s a little on the louder side. The volume isn’t unreasonable for the level of power, but it’s not a good choice if you need near-silent. (It does, however, pass the “can Mr CK hear Amy wanking from downstairs when she’s in the bedroom with the door closed?” test. He could not).
In conclusion: the best bullet I’ve ever tried.
And I do not say this lightly! This toy is in-fucking-credible for the price. If you need power but you’re on a limited budget, or if you’re looking for a discreet little vibe to take on your travels with you, look no further.
Let me say it again: This. Toy. Is. $32. Next time anyone tells you that you can’t get a body-safe product without shelling out hundreds, point them to this post.
Thanks to Peepshow for sending me the Blush Novelties Exposed Nocturnal lipstick bullet to review. It will feature next month in a piece on the best body-safe vibrators under $40. Links in this post are affiliate links and if you use them, I will make a small commission. As ever, all opinions my own, and please don’t steal my photos!