On my last call with the lovely Francesca, who owns The Pleasure Garden inclusive sex shop, we discussed which strap-on compatible dildos I might want to review in some companion pieces to my Spareparts Joque review. I asked for the gayest, girliest, sparkliest items the store had in stock. And friends, as the kids say, she understood the assignment.
Along with the lesbian pride dildo I reviewed last week and a gorgeous sparkly one I’ll be talking about next week, I received another Blush dildo: this spectacular confetti-filled glow in the dark creation, the Neo Elite Hanky Panky.
What is the Neo Elite Hanky Panky?
The Neo Elite Hanky Panky is a glow in the dark dildo by Blush Novelties. It measures 8″ in total length, around 6.5″ in insertable length, and 1.5″ in diameter at the widest point.
The Neo Elite is made of clear/translucent silicone filled with little confetti-style flecks in pink, purple, blue and green inside. Yes, it’s possible to get body-safe clear sex toys! You don’t need to resort to toxic jelly materials to enjoy this unique aesthetic.
The Best Things About This Blush Dildo
One of my hottest takes as a queer femme is that enjoying pretty things just because they’re pretty is not frivolous, but tremendously important. Beauty is not frivolous. Enjoying things, as a queer person in a world that wants to tear us down and drown us out, fucking matters. Pleasure is political.
And that’s just as true whether we’re talking about eating delicious food in defiance of diet culture or fucking my hot girlfriend with the gayest cock I can find in defiance of societal homophobia.
All this to say: I like this toy because it’s cute, colourful, and playful as fuck.
There are other great things to say about it too, of course. The shape is fabulous, with a medium curve and a prominent head. The silicone is pretty firm and dense, with minimal “squish”, but the shaft is flexible enough to enable comfortable positioning.
I particularly like the pronounced ridge on the underside of the head, which is ideal for both G-spot and prostate stimulation as well as stimulating the sensitive nerve endings around the vaginal/anal opening on insertion and removal. Otherwise, the shaft is smooth, making it a great choice for people who don’t enjoy the sensation of textured toys. It’s also the same width all the way down.
The large suction cup is strong, and also makes the toy anal-safe and harness compatible.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
The only thing to be aware of is that this toy’s silicone is very matte. This means it can feel “grabby” and doesn’t glide as smoothly as some softer silicones do, which some users can find uncomfortable. You can overcome this by adding tonnes of water-based lube; just be aware you’ll probably need more lubrication than usual.
Neo Elite Hanky Panky Blush Dildo: Verdict
If you love beautiful, playful aesthetics and don’t mind a more matte texture, this is a fantastic toy. It has a great shape and design, is versatile enough for different kinds of play from solo masturbation to strap on sex to anal, and is a relatively rare example of a clear/translucent toy made from a body-safe material.
Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me this Blush dildo to review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping with them sends me a small commission at no additional cost to you.
Way back in 2018, in the early days of this blog (wow that was a different time!) I reviewed my first Avant Pride toy, the P1 rainbow dildo. I followed this up with reviews of the P4 leather pride butt plug later that year and the P8 bi pride dildo in 2021.
I still really like the P8, but I’m not so sure I identify as bisexual any more. Since entering my 30s I’ve slid further and further down the Kinsey Scale to… well, not quite a Kinsey 6, because that wouldn’t account for Mr C&K. Maybe a Kinsey 5-and-a-half? Anyway, the terms I most often use to define my sexuality now are sapphic and homoflexible, the latter meaning (to me) “basically a lesbian but with very very occasional exceptions.”
Sexuality is complicated, y’all.
You know what isn’t complicated, though? How damn good this dildo is.
Smooth Segue, Amy! So Tell Us About the Avant Pride P3 Beauty
The P3 Beauty is another of the Avant Pride range of sex toys from Blush Novelties. It is a small suction cup dildo measuring 5″ in length and 1.1″ in diameter. Its design is fairly realistic, with a pronounced head and subtle vein texturing along the shaft. The colours are based on the pink, white and orange stripes of the lesbian pride flag.
The Avant Pride P3 is made of body-safe and easy-clean silicone. It also has a suction cup, making it ideal for hands-free use and strap-on sex.
What I Liked About the Avant Pride P3 Beauty Small Suction Cup Dildo
My favourite thing about this toy, apart from the gorgeous and vibrant pride-inspired colours, is its small size. Large and oversized toys can be fun on occasion, but often when I’m craving penetration what I actually want is something a little smaller. I also like that the girth is more or less the same all the way down.
I very rarely do anal play at the moment but if you’re interested in a dildo for pegging or anal sex, a slimline toy like this one is an ideal place to start.
The Avant Pride P3 has some of the softest silicone I’ve felt in a long time. Its texture is so delightfully velvety that I’ve been absentmindedly stroking my hand over it in between typing up this review. It has a medium density with a little squish, plenty of flex, and a very slight curve. In other words, it’s comfortable to use and easy to position in the way that works for your body.
I like that the suction cup is quite wide, relative to the diameter of the toy. This makes it stick down really firmly to any flat surface, and also makes it easy to use with my favourite strap-on harness without it slipping out or coming loose.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
No? This is a genuinely excellent toy and I can’t find a single fault with it. If you prefer larger insertables it might not be big enough to satisfy you, but for many of us a bigger dildo is not necessarily a better dildo.
Verdict
This is such an easy to use dildo! A simple yet effective design, refreshingly petite size, gorgeous queer colourway, and high quality material. It’s also versatile, anal-safe, and harness compatible. What more could you need in a basic dildo? And on top of all that, it retails for just £32.
Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me the Avant Pride P3 to review. All views, as always, are mine! Affiliate links appear in this post.
Tracy’s Dog are becoming a regular feature on this site as they’re currently putting out new products at an impressive rate, such as the recently launched Ciro – a dual stimulation vibrator with thrusting, licking, and vibrating motions – which I received to review this month.
Let’s take a look and find out how I got on with this latest offering.
Oh, and don’t forget to use my exclusive code coffee15 to get 15% off your purchase of the Ciro or any other Tracy’s Dog product.
What is the Ciro Dual Stimulation Vibrator?
The Ciro by Tracy’s Dog is a vaguely C-shaped dual stimulation clitoral and G-spot toy. The insertable portion both thrusts and vibrates, while the clitoral stimulator is a firm ball that rotates and vibrates. This toy’s insertable length is around 6″, and its diameter is around 1.4″ at the widest point.
It is made of silicone in the signature purple shade that Tracy’s Dog use for many of their toys, and has a gold coloured plastic accent panel for the two buttons.
In the sturdy, magnetic-close box, you’ll also find the charging cable, a drawstring storage bag, two sachets of Tracy’s Dog lube (which I won’t be using because it contains glycerin and disodium EDTA, but YMMV), the instruction manual, a warranty card, and some stickers.
The Ciro is IPX6 waterproof, making it suitable for use in the shower. However, it’s not submersible, so don’t take it in the bath or dunk it in a sink of water to clean it! It is also rechargeable via the included magnetic cable. I’ll talk more about the charging and battery life a bit later on.
What I Liked About the Ciro
I was immediately intrigued by this unusual design and combination of features. Yet another boring iteration of a generic rabbit vibrator this is not! It’s nice to see something a bit different in the form of the round, rotating clitoral stimulator.
But how did it actually perform?
Let’s look at the things I liked about the Ciro.
Many dual stimulation vibrator designs treat clitoral stimulation as an afterthought (I’ve ranted about this before.) The Ciro does not. The rotating clitoral stimulator is just… really, really good, to be honest. It’s completely different to the traditional “bunny ears” design and I love it. It does not feel like “licking”, but it feels like having my clit massaged in circles with just the right amount of pressure. Yes. (Pro tip: lube makes this feel about 10,000 times better.)
The wavy ridges on the sides of the shaft will appeal to fans of texture. I like that I can feel them in use, but they’re not too intense.
The flexible hinge between the insertable shaft and the clitoral stimulator make it easy to position the toy in a way that works for your body. It also means it’s relatively easy to keep the clitoral stimulator in the right place during use (a major drawback of many rabbit toys is that it’s almost impossible to position both portions of the toy in the right way at the same time.)
The rigid shaft provides firm internal pressure, while the slight squishiness of the head is comfortable against my G-spot.
I like the relatively short thrust. Toys with long thrusts are often painful for me, risking poking me in the cervix (ouch. Ow. No.) Its motion feels more like a “come hither” than hard pounding, which is vastly preferable in my book.
Even the lowest thrusting speed is pretty intense! This isn’t one for those who prefer very slow strokes, but ideal for anyone looking for fast thrusting.
The three thrusting speeds and 7 patterns, plus 3 clitoral stimulation speeds, offer plenty of variety.
You can control the internal and external stimulators completely separately, with a simple one-button control for each function.
It retails for a relatively affordable £48.36
Overall, this toy is pretty intense. Even on the lower thrusting speed, with both parts switched on it comes close to feeling overstimulating for me. Which can be fun on occasion! I don’t think I’ll reach for it regularly, but there’s definitely a time and a place for this kind of toy.
What I Didn’t Like
Though it has many good features, there are also a few things about the Ciro that I found frustrating.
The vibrations are super buzzy. Like… so buzzy. They’re the kind of buzzy that is likely to numb out my clit long before ever getting me off.
Related: I wish it was possible to switch the vibrations off. I think I’d really love this toy if I could use the thrusting and rotating functions without the addition of annoying, buzzy vibes.
The battery life isn’t great. A full charge takes 150 minutes (2.5 hours) and only gives you 50-60 minutes of runtime.
There are, as usual, no dual directional controls. This isn’t so much of an issue for me, as I tend to just choose the settings I like and stick with them. But it’s something to be aware of if you prefer to swap and change between different speeds and settings.
Like virtually every thrusting toy I have ever tried, it makes an annoying kind of high-pitched squeaking noise. It’s not particularly loud, but this sound is really grating to me (probably one reason I don’t actually use thrusting toys very often!) It’s also not “whisper quiet”. Companies, stop with this cliché. It’s literally never true.
Ciro Dual Stimulation Vibrator: Verdict
Overall, I like this toy! It’s an innovative design not quite like anything I’ve seen before, and the rotating clitoral stimulator is truly excellent. I also particularly appreciated the shallow thrust depth and separate controls for each of the two parts. Though it does have some flaws, I’ll likely use this one again.
I confess that I have been puzzling over the name of this toy almost as much as I puzzled over the name of this company the first time I worked with them. (In case you were wondering, Tracy’s Dog is so called because it hopes its toys will become a loyal and faithful companion, like… well. Like a dog. Why this Tracy’s Dog rabbit toy is called the Craybit Pro, though, remains a mystery.)
Baffling name aside, let’s take a look at the Tracy’s Dog Craybit Pro. First, though, the team wanted me to tell you all about their Valentine’s Day promotion. Here’s what you need to know:
Use the code LOVE12 to get 12% off all products from February 5th to February 14th
If you use my exclusive discount code coffee15, you can enjoy 15% off your purchase
Both new and existing customers can choose either the LOVE12 code or my exclusive code
These codes can be used in conjunction with other promotions, such as: $10 off orders over $100 (Feb 5 – Feb 9), $30 off orders over $150 (Feb 10 – Feb 14)
Additionally, enjoy up to 59% off on sale products
What is the Tracy’s Dog Craybit Pro?
The Craybit Pro is a rabbit style vibrator with an insertable shaft and two flexible ears to stimulate the clitoris. It measures around 8.5″ in total length, and 4.5″ in insertable length. The diameter is 1.59″ at the widest point.
The Craybit Pro is made from purple body-safe silicone with an ABS plastic handle and buttons. It is IPX6 waterproof, meaning it can withstand powerful jets of water but is not submersible. In other words, it’s probably fine for use in the shower and for washing under the tap, but don’t take it in the bath or dunk it in a sink full of water to clean it.
The Craybit Pro has three motors and something called “Chord and Riff Technology”, which combines high-frequency “buzzy” vibrations with low-frequency “rumbly” vibrations. The motors are located in the head, in the lower portion of the insertable shaft, and in the clitoral stimulator respectively.
What I Liked About the Craybit Pro
With so many rabbit vibrators on the market, it can be overwhelming trying to choose one. They’re all designed to do basically the same thing: stimulate the vagina/G-spot and clitoris at the same time. However, they’re all slightly different and each model comes with pros and cons.
Let’s start by looking at what the Tracy’s Dog Craybit Pro does well:
It came nicely packaged in a stylish cardboard box with a storage bag included.
I like the flexibility of both the insertable arm and the clitoral stimulator. This makes it easier to position the toy for a comfortable fit for your body.
The long, soft and flexible rabbit ears are great for keeping the stimulator in constant contact with my clit during use.
You can control the two motors in the shaft with one button, and the clitoral stimulator with another, allowing you to use the internal and external vibrations either separately or together.
The buttons are easy to press and the controls are simple and easy to learn.
The light-up buttons make them easy to see in low light.
The curved shaft is excellent for targeted G-spot stimulation.
Perhaps most importantly, at least some of the vibrations are actually good! All of the motors are reasonably strong, and the vibrations in the shaft are satisfyingly rumbly.
Your toy comes with a two-year warranty and a five-year quality guarantee.
Noise-wise, the Craybit Pro is fine. It’s not impressively silent but it’s also not annoyingly loud.
You can also use the Craybit Pro with the free Monster Party app (yet another baffling name, honestly.) I had more luck with this toy than I did with the Surreal, Tracy’s Dog’s other app-controlled toy, but I’m just not sure the app really adds very much for me. It gives you a little customisability of the three motors and another way to control your toy if you prefer to use your phone rather than manual controls, but I find it more hassle than it’s really worth. This toy works perfectly fine without the app, so it’s definitely an optional add-on rather than an essential.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
I do also have a few complaints about the Craybit Pro. Namely:
A charge of two hours only gives you around an hour of runtime, which isn’t great.
The clitoral stimulator has a very buzzy motor compared to the internal motors. Though you do get some of the rumbles passing through to the clit stimulator when the shaft is switched on, it would be nice if the separate motor was much more rumbly. Say it with me: clit stimulation is the main event, not an afterthought!
The two motors in the shaft are controlled by the same button. This means you cannot control them independently.
When using the toy manually, there are only single-directional controls. This means you have to scroll through all the settings to go back a step.
The seam between the silicone portion and the plastic portion is quite hard to clean and can harbour fluids and bacteria if you’re not careful.
It’s surprisingly heavy!
I think the shaft is slightly too wide to be completely ideal for me. I tend to prefer slimmer insertable toys, particularly when pairing them with clitoral stimulation. This isn’t really a gripe with the toy itself, of course, just an acknowledgement of why it’s not totally perfect for my body.
Craybit Pro Tracy’s Dog Rabbit Vibrator: Verdict
Overall, I think the Tracy’s Dog Craybit is a decent-ish though not amazing rabbit vibrator. I’d recommend it most to people who enjoy strong and rumbly internal vibrations as part of dual stimulation. If buzzy clitoral vibrations are a dealbreaker for you, skip this one. With a better clitoral motor, this toy could be far better than it currently is.
Thanks to the company for sending me this Tracy’s Dog rabbit vibrator to review and for sponsoring this review. All views and writing, as always, are mine.
As recently as a couple of years ago, readers would ask me for recommendations for giant toys that didn’t cost hundreds of dollars and I would be at a loss on where to send them. Historically, the vast majority of the extra large toys on the market were made of unsafe or porous materials such as rubber, PVC, or TPE/TPR. Those that were made of silicone tended to be tremendously expensive. Fortunately, things are changing and you can now get a body-safe, extra large fantasy dildo without breaking the bank.
Wildolo’s range of silicone monster dildos includes an array of the weird, wonderful, bizarre, and ultra-colourful for all your fantasy fucking needs. They kindly sent me this extra large silicone fantasy dildo from their collection to test and review.
About the Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo
This toy is made of body-safe matte silicone (more on the texture below) in a green, blue and purple marbled effect, and features a tapering shaft with a series of bulges that get progressively wider from top to bottom. As it is single-density silicone, the entire shaft has the same density all the way through (i.e. there is no firm “core” and soft outer layer.)
It comes in two sizes, and I received the medium, which measures 10.49″ in length (8.98″ insertable) and weighs in at a hefty 0.95kg or just over 2lb. Its diameter tapers from a fairly average 1.35″ at the top, down to 2.87″ at the bottom. Yes: this toy is fucking huge. There’s also a larger version, which measures an enormous 14.76″ in total length and over 4″ in diameter at the widest point.
The Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo features raised texturing on the head, vein detailing on the shaft, and a decorative monster/demon face insignia part way down.
The Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo also has a large suction cup for affixing it to a flat surface. This features decorative detailing, too.
What I Liked About This Toy
The Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo is a relatively budget-friendly option in the scheme of body-safe and extra large fantasy toys, retailing for $75 or around £61.50. It also has a number of great features to recommend it.
Namely:
The pictures don’t really do justice to how pretty the shimmery, glittery swirls of green, blue and purple are. When it catches the light, the effect is almost irridescent.
Speaking of its physical appearance, the fantasy aesthetic – such that it is – is fairly subtle. If you’re looking for a way to ease into fantasy toys without going straight for something that looks like a tentacle or an alien or a killer plant from outer space, this is a great place to start.
I like the tapered design. When using larger toys, it’s really important to build up slowly to ensure a safe, pain-free, and pleasurable experience. Tapered toys build this in, allowing you to gradually increase the size to the point that you feel comfortable.
The textured tip is excellent for additional G-spot stimulation. Presumably it would also work well for a prostate for much the same reason.
This toy is surprisingly flexible for its size. When it comes to very large toys, particularly for those who are newer to them, some flexibility can make all the difference in ensuring comfortable insertion.
The firm, dense silicone will be great for anyone who likes plenty of intensity and not too much squish for their insertable toys.
The suction cup is reasonably strong, particularly given the size of the toy. The large surface area of the suction cup helps to hold the toy firmly to a surface for as long as you want it to stay there.
The extra large base means it is anal-safe. However, I feel duty-bound to advise you to proceed extremely carefully if you’re thinking of inserting anything of this size anally.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
The finish on the Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo is very matte. This means that it feels pretty grabby, which can be a downside especially for a toy this large. You’ll need to add lube, lube, and yet more lube for this one. (That was true anyway, given the size, but the grabbyness of the silicone makes it even more essential.)
The sheer size of this toy does make it a challenge to hold and manipulate for long periods of time. Its weight is something you’ll want to be aware of if you suffer from hand or wrist pain (or just, like me, have annoyingly tiny hands.)
I’ve said before and I will say it again that I just don’t think I’m really the target market for extra large insertables. I look at them and my body doesn’t go “ooh,” it goes “hahaha nope!” Realistically, I can use the top third of this dildo, maybe the top half if I’m feeling really brave. This isn’t really a criticism of the product, just an acknowledgement that it’s not one I will be reaching for on a regular basis.
Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo: Verdict
Even though I don’t think it’s particularly ideal for my body, the Wildolo Large Silicone Fantasy Dildo is a well-designed and body-safe toy at a good price for the quality. If you’re into fantasy toys or looking to add something large to your collection without spending a lot, this is a great choice.
Thanks to Wildolo for sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, my own.
You know what’s even more fun than shopping for sex toys? Creating one to your specifications! I recently told you all about Nothosaur’s custom dildo and custom fantasy toy service, which allows you to apply a dizzying variety of customisations to the company’s designs to create a piece that is entirely yours.
As part of our ongoing partnership, Nothosaur kindly let me customise a toy from their range to try and to tell you all about. After a lot of deliberation, I chose the MOOM dildo. Keep reading to learn what I like about this one and which customisations I chose.
What is the MOOM and Why Did I Choose It for My Custom Dildo?
The base product you choose will determine the shape and design of your toy. When Nothosaur offered me a custom dildo to review, I spent a long time looking around the site to decide which of the many options on offer felt right for me. Ultimately, I picked the MOOM. The basic product looks like this:
The shape of the toy really called to me. Its shaft consists of a series of long and elegantly intertwining vines, rising up to a pronounced head, and the broad base has those aforementioned little spikes. The MOOM’s shaft is relatively slimline, which tends to work well for my body – I do like girthy insertables sometimes, but they take a lot of warm-up. This is very much an “insert and go” toy, which can be an advantage sometimes.
The MOOM is based on one of Nothosaur’s many fantasy creature creations, a creature that makes its home in the jungle, collects pine cones and fruits, enjoys poems and stories, but also possesses a series of sharp thorns that help to keep it safe. I enjoy the combination of softness and fierceness in this characterisation, and in the combination of long, sweeping lines and the spiked base that make up the toy’s design.
I also just thought it was super pretty, fun, and unexpected, and I don’t own anything else like it.
My Customisation Choices
I went for the medium size MOOM dildo. I’m not a size queen by any stretch (heh) of the imagination, so at 5.9″ in total length and about 4″ in insertable length – the MOOM in medium is a fairly perfect size dildo for me. If you prefer a very small toy, choose the mini or small sizes. If you want more, opt for the large or extra large.
Next up was choosing the firmness. I ultimately went for the soft silicone because I don’t have many super-soft toys in my collection, so I thought it would be fun to get something a bit different. I also tend to like flexible toys, and I assumed the soft silicone would have more flex to it.
Finally, it was time to pick the colours for my custom dildo. I looked at the suggested colourways for the MOOM and, though they were all super pretty and creative, none of them felt like quite what I was looking for. Ultimately, inspiration struck and I settled on a marbled combination of bright orange, bright pink, and white that reminds me of the lesbian pride flag.
Nothosaur’s extensive colour selection
The MOOM in medium comes with a suction cup base by default, which works for me. This allows me to use it with a strap-on harness as well as making it convenient to hold. If you opt for the MOOM in a large or extra large size, you can add a vac-u-lock hole and adaptor for a fucking machine if you like.
What I Love About My Custom Nothosaur MOOM
And with all those decisions made, it was time to sit back and wait for my custom dildo to arrive. Which, in a couple of weeks, it did. The finished toy is so, so bright and femme and colourful! I mean, just look at it:
The website pictures really don’t do justice to just how bright and vibrant these colours are. The design is also even more beautiful and intricate close up than the images show. I feel like I notice some new detail every time I look at it.
The MOOM dildo has the perfect level of texturing for me. The “vines” along the shaft are pronounced enough to feel and to be satisfying, but not so much that it tips over into uncomfortable.
I’m also really glad I opted for the soft silicone for this one. I think it’s possible that the intensely ridged head and the textured shaft would have been too intense in a firmer silicone. But at this level, it’s absolutely perfect. The ultra-flexible softness also means that I can angle the head perfectly to brush against my G-spot.
The MOOM’s suction cup is strong, and its broad base makes it ideal for strap-on sex.
Finally, can we talk about those spikes on the base? They, too, are super soft and when the dildo is fully inserted, they tease and tickle my vulva every time I thrust or twist the toy. Amazing.
Get Your Own Custom Dildo
It’s safe to say Nothosaur knocked it out of the park with my MOOM custom dildo. The result is something beautiful, unique, and totally “me.” I love it.
Want your own? Head over to Nothosaur’s store, find the design you like, and get customising! A medium MOOM in 3 colours retails for $94.99, but prices vary according to the style and customisations you choose.
Thanks to Nothosaur for gifting me this toy and sponsoring this review! All views are, as always, my own.
I think I’ve said before that, the longer I do this work, the harder it gets to find anything I haven’t tried before. Sure, I can still get excited about a really good bullet vibrator or a suction toy that doesn’t suck, but it’s rare to come across a sex toy that makes me go “huh… I’ve never seen one of those before.” AcmeJoy’s Ramsdell mouth vibrator, though, elicited exactly that reaction.
I mean. Look at it! Of course I had to request this one when AcmeJoy invited me to review one of their products.
What is the AcmeJoy Ramsdell Mouth Vibrator?
The AcmeJoy Ramsdell – or to give it its full title, the Ramsdell 10 Biting Modes & 10 Vibrating Speeds Stimulate Nipple Clitoral Women Vibrator (no I’m not kidding) – is a handheld sex toy designed to look like a pair of lips with a tongue poking out.
The Ramsdell measures 4.65″ in total length, and the mouth is 2.1″ wide at the widest point. It is made of body-safe red silicone with a rose gold plastic accent panel for the buttons. (Confusingly, the product page claims it is silicone and then later says it is TPE! I think this is a mistake as – based on the look, feel, smell, and flame test results – it definitely appears to be silicone.)
The Ramsdell is IPX6 water-resistant, AKA splashproof. This makes for easy cleaning but does mean the toy can’t be fully submerged in water (you’d need IPX7 waterproof for that.) It is also rechargeable, with a two hour charge giving around an hour of runtime.
When it’s switched on, the Ramsdell makes what I can only describe as a biting motion, with the mouth moving up and down. I turned it on and immediately stuck my finger in there, and this thing has quite a bite to it! Fortunately, as you’ll see below, it doesn’t really “bite” your genitals when it’s actually in use. The tongue can also vibrate, if you like. I think the overall effect is supposed to simulate oral sex, which – as anyone who has read my numerousrantson thesubject knows – isn’t really possible with the current toy technology we have available to us.
According to the site, it can stimulate my “A & G & U” all at the same time. I’m assuming that stands for anus, G-spot, and urethra, which is wildly untrue (there’s no way this thing is getting anywhere near the G-spot and it’s certainly not stimulating three different areas at the same time.) Companies, take note: it’s fine for a sex toy to just do one thing, if it does it well. You don’t have to claim otherwise, especially when it’s so demonstrably not true.
What I Liked About the AcmeJoy Ramsdell
When it comes to the aesthetic of this toy, I don’t really have strong feelings either way. I can imagine if you’re someone who is extremely into mouths or lips, a mouth vibrator could be kind of hot. I can also imagine it might squick you out if you find a disembodied mouth offputting! (I’ll say this for it, though, it’s a hell of a lot sexier than that awful disembodied tongue thing I once tried.)
From my perspective? It’s fine. It doesn’t turn me on to look at it, and it kinda makes me giggle, but it doesn’t actively make me go “ew, no” either.
With that said, let’s look at the things I liked about this product.
Does it feel like cunnilingus? No it does not. But does it feel good? Amazingly, yes, it really does! With plenty of lube on both the toy and my body, the mouth’s up-and-down motion is shockingly pleasurable. Despite the description and my first impression, it does not (thankfully) feel like someone biting my clit! It’s more like someone rubbing it in a very consistent pattern.
I particularly like that this toy can stimulate the entire clitoral area, not just the tip of the glans.
It also feels pretty good on nipples, if you’re into that.
You can control the mouth movements and the tongue vibrations separately. Want one without the other, or to use different settings? No problem. There are 10 “biting” modes and 10 vibration modes to choose from and use in any combination.
The buttons are well-positioned and easy to press, and the controls simple to understand and use.
At $31.97 USD (about £26), it’s budget-friendly.
I was surprised at how good this toy felt and how close it got me to orgasm. It didn’t make me come on this occasion, but I think it’s entirely possible it could get me off in the future, if I was sufficiently turned on to start with.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
I do also have a couple of complaints with the Ramsdell mouth vibrator.
The noise. It’s not that it is particularly loud, just that the up-and-down mechanism kind of squeaks in a way that hurts my neurodivergent and sound-sensitive soul.
The vibrations are tremendously buzzy and not particularly strong. They’re kinda okay as an accompaniment to the mouth movements, but they start making my clit feel numb pretty fast if I use them for too long.
If I press it too hard against my body, the up-and-down motion stops working. This is something to be aware of if you’re someone who likes lots of pressure when you use toys.
I would have preferred the silicone on the lips to be slightly softer and squishier. It’s not bad as it is, but this would enhance comfort and pleasure during use.
AcmeJoy Ramsdell: Verdict
Significantly better than I expected!
I am somewhat surprised to say that as a concept for a toy, this works. I would like to see some changes made to improve it – notably, softening up the “lips” and making the motor in the tongue more powerful and rumbly. I’d happily pay more for a better version of this basic design. Overall, though? Not bad at all. It’s something new and different, and a creative twist on the enduringly popular “tongue toy” theme.
Rabbit vibrators are hard to get right. As a general rule, when one lands in my review queue I have pretty low expectations. A rabbit vibe I enjoy is a rare find, and a rabbit vibe that can actually make me come is even rarer. Still, I like to keep an open mind, so here I am with a review of the just-launched Lovense Osci 3.
What is the Lovense Osci 3?
The Lovense Osci 3 is the latest in Lovense’s line of Osci toys (preceded by the Osci 2 oscillating G-spot vibrator.) It measures 8.5″ in total length, around 5″ in insertable length, and 1.2″ in diameter at the widest point. The Osci 3 has three functions: an oscillating G-spot stimulator on the end of the internal arm, a flexible vibrating clitoral stimulator, and a warming function. The internal arm offers an impressive 4000-6000 oscillations per minute.
This toy is made of Lovense’s signature hot pink silicone. It is IPX7 waterproof, meaning it is fully submersible, and rechargeable. A full charge takes just 75 minutes and gives you up to 3 hours of battery life.
Like most Lovense products, the Osci 3 is app-controllable via the Lovense app. This gives you tonnes more options for ways to play, and also allows you to hand over control to a partner anywhere in the world.
What I Like About the Osci 3
The Osci 3 is an impressively full-featured toy with a lot to recommend it. These are the main things I liked about it, and that you might appreciate too:
I love that the G-spot stimulator oscillates rather than vibrating. I’m really not a fan of internal vibrations, finding them far more uncomfortable than pleasurable. But the Osci 3’s rapid tapping motion is quite a different sensation. It’s also far more focused, stimulating the G-spot intensely without vibrating the entire vagina.
The flexible clitoral stimulator makes it relatively easy to try different positions and angles to find what works for your unique body.
The intense curve of the insertable shaft is fantastic for targeted G-spot pressure.
The two motors are independently controllable. This means you can use one without the other, use them together, and use them on two completely different settings – whatever you prefer, the experience is completely customisable.
The clitoral motor is strong and, even better, fairly rumbly.
Connecting with the Lovense app (free on Android and iOS) was easy and took seconds. You can use the “Remote” function to control each of the toy’s motors with the swipe of a finger, use the “My Patterns” function to use the various inbuilt settings or create your own, use the “Music” function to sync your toy to music stored on your device.
You can add more than one partner! This is great for those of us who are non-monogamous. Many sex toy apps still only allow you to have one partner connected at a time.
The “Control Link” function allows you to hand over control and chat anonymously without connecting or showing any personal data. I don’t really have much use for this function personally, but it’s one of the reasons Lovense toys are popular with online cam performers.
Through the app, you can also sync your toy with various types of online content and other adult apps, play games such as “Control Roulette”, turn on sound-activated mode, and much more. Use the “app gallery” and “discover” tabs to do this.
The heating function really changes how the toy feels, bringing it up to just above body temperature. It also works quickly, heating the toy in 1-1.5 minutes.
The quick charging time is a nice bonus, especially given the excellent battery life.
It’s not too loud.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
Because no toy is perfect, I do also have a few gripes with the Osci 3.
I actually might have liked one slower speed for the oscillating G-spot stimulator! I know this is an unusual thing for me to say, but even on the slowest speed it’s pretty fast and intense. If I’m not very well warmed up, this can be too much.
The silicone is extremely matte and “grabby.” You can overcome this with plenty of lube (water-based is best for silicone toys!). Even so, I would have preferred it to be softer and smoother.
I feel like I say this about virtually every toy I test, but dual-directional controls please! It’s really distracting and offputting having to scroll through every setting just to go back one.
Lovense toys generally really do require the app to get the most out of them. As someone who doesn’t really use sex toy apps except on very rare occasions, I do consider this a downside personally. I just want to switch my toy on and have access to all its features without needing to fuck around with my phone! Of course, your preferences may vary.
Lovense Osci 3: Verdict
The reality of the situation is that I just don’t really use rabbit vibrators very much. As rabbit vibes go, though, I think the Lovense Osci 3 is excellent. It’s objectively well-designed, with body-friendly flexibility and great motors.
Like many Lovense toys, it really comes into its own with the app. If you just want a rabbit vibrator you can enjoy without bothering with app controls, there are cheaper options on the market which are just as good. But if you want something you can use long-distance, or something with extensive app-based and online features, the Osci 3 is a worthwhile purchase.
The Lovense Osci 3 retails for £159. It is also currently on a limited-time introductory offer at just £71 (that’s a 55% saving!)
Thanks to Lovense for sending me the Osci 3 to review! All writing and views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post and if you use them to buy this or any other Lovense product, I will make a small commission at no additional cost to you.
I love a mystery box! The concept of giving someone information about my preferences and then they pick out things to suit me is just very satisfying to me. It’s a bit like receiving a present from someone who knows you well enough to pick out things you’ll love. So when new company Bed Nerdz got in touch and asked me to review one of their adult mystery box sets, I was all over it.
What is Bed Nerdz and How Does It Work?
Bed Nerdz is a one-off gift box service (i.e. not a subscription.) There are currently three options to choose from, each containing three toys:
Rodeo Drive Box: One penis toy, one vulva toy, one anal toy
For the La La Land Mystery Box, you’ll need to answer a few questions about yourself, your partners, and how you like to have sex. I told them that I’m female, have sex with partners of multiple genders, enjoy vibration and suction, prefer clitoral stimulation, and would describe my sexual personality as adventurous, curious, and kinky.
You’ll receive three products of the eight currently in the Bed Nerdz catalogue. I’m assuming they will add more options over time, though it makes sense to keep the range small initially.
What’s the La La Land Adult Mystery Box Like?
My La La Land box arrived discreetly packaged in the post, and I set about unboxing it. I was immediately impressed by how beautifully presented it was. The contents, set in a sturdy box, were protected with a paper covering tied by a ribbon.
A postcard with some gorgeous sapphic artwork (see above) and a message from the founders was included.
Inside, the three toys (and a set of bonus sex dice) were presented in foam packaging.
Ten out of ten for presentation! But what about performance?
Which Toys Did I Receive?
Safe to say the Bed Nerdz team understood the assignment (as the young people apparently say!) I received three clitoral toys: two vibrators, and a suction toy.
Let’s have a look at each of them in turn.
Jesse Clit Sucker
The Jesse is a clitoral suction toy made of body-safe silicone and measuring 5.5″ in length. It offers 10 suction modes including 3 constant speeds and 7 patterns. It has a two-button interface, one button that switches the toy on and off and another that scrolls through the patterns.
The Jesse is IPX6 waterproof, AKA splashproof but not submersible.
Overall, this is a pretty good basic clitoral suction toy! It doesn’t have all the bells and whistles of some of the higher end brands, of course, but it’s also a fraction of the price when purchased as part of one of these kits. The nozzle is broad enough to get a good seal around my clit, and the steady power settings are decent. I’m not sure what the point of the little fronds inside the nozzle is; I guess they’re supposed to tickle the clit but on my body at least, they’re nowhere near long enough to make contact with it.
The Jesse isn’t too loud, and its light weight and tapered handle make it comfortable to hold.
Sandy Bullet Vibrator
The Sandy is a small bullet vibrator, measuring just over 3″ in length and made of body-safe ABS plastic. Like the Jesse, it offers 10 modes: 3 speeds and 7 patterns.
There is a one-button interface on the toy, and a separate remote control with an on/off button and a speed change button. If you’re going to include a remote with a toy, I would really expect it to have dual-directional controls, but this is probably something I’m going to be banging on at toy manufacturers about for the rest of my life. The remote’s responsiveness is good, though. The Sandy is also IPX6 water-resistant, though the remote isn’t.
I didn’t expect much from this little bullet, but it really pleasantly surprised me with its intensity! The vibes are a little buzzier than I would really like, but I can’t fault the power of its motor. And, as it is plastic, the vibes can be felt more intensely through the hard casing.
Cali Wand Vibrator
The Cali is a mini wand vibrator measuring 6″ in total length. It provides a total of 20 different vibration settings and 9 speeds to choose from on each setting, with a three-button interface allowing you to switch it on or off, change the speed, or change the setting respectively. It is made of body-safe silicone on Bed Nerdz’ signature shade of coral orange.
This toy, like the others in the box, is IPX6 water-resistant.
Despite being the most fully-featured toy in this set, I ultimately found the Cali wand the most disappointing of the three. Its motor is extremely buzzy, and not strong enough to compensate for the dampening effect of the silicone.
Bed Nerdz Mystery Box: Verdict
Overall, I’m pretty impressed with my Bed Nerdz mystery box, which was super fun to receive, unbox, and test! Besides my perspectives on the individual toys, let’s summarise with some pros and cons of the set and the customer experience as a whole.
Pros:
At £149.99 for three toys plus the extras, the Bed Nerdz La La Land Adult Mystery Box is pretty good value for what you get
Gorgeous, thoughtful presentation, ideal for gifting or treating yourself
All toys are body-safe
All toys are rechargeable and come pre-charged
The sex dice are a cute and fun extra
Cons:
Limited catalogue of products currently in the range
Included lube contained non-body-safe ingredients
Some unnecessary gendering on the site – you can just ask about preferred areas of stimulation without categorising toys as “male” or “female”
Who Should Consider Buying an Adult Mystery Box?
I would have absolutely loved a set like this when I was first starting out exploring with sex toys! It’s a great option if you’re trying toys for the first time, or trying to expand your collection but not sure of what you like. A mystery box is also a sexy gift for a lover or partner, or a fun thing to buy and then explore as a couple.
I’m looking forward to seeing how Bed Nerdz grows, develops, and expands on this concept in the future.
What does your perfect fantasy sex toy look like? You might have ideas about the shape and design, size, softness or firmness, colour, and more. Nothosaur, who have already featured on the site several times previously, offer custom sex toys with various options across their fantasy range, helping you to craft the perfect dildo or other toy for your desires.
For something a bit different today, they have invited me to check out and review their customisation process.
Why Choose Custom Sex Toys?
Custom sex toys are generally more expensive than their off-the-shelf counterparts, so why would you choose a custom toy? In short, because this way you can get exactly what you want from a product.
How many times have I written a review in which I say “this toy would be perfect if only…” [“…it were shorter/girthier/softer/firmer/more flexible/etc.”]? I imagine you’ve thought the same about toys in the past. A custom toy allows you to have complete control over all those factors.
Some people enjoy having a toy that is one-of-a-kind, knowing that no-one else has one quite like it. This can be particularly true for people who view a toy as a kind of extension of their body; for example, if you’re someone who has strap-on sex, your dildo might essentially become your penis while you’re using it. It follows that you’d want to get something that really feels like you.
A custom sex toy can also make an amazing gift for a partner or lover. If you know the person and their preferences well enough, you can get something perfectly crafted just for them. Alternatively, why not spend a fun and sexy date night designing and ordering your perfect toy together?
Custom Sex Toys with Nothosaur
Creating a custom dildo, butt plug, grinder, or other toy with Nothosaur is easy. You just need to go through four simple steps, which we’ll look at in detail in this section.
Choosing Your Base Toy
The first step is to choose your base product, which you can then customise. Nothosaur’s extensive range includes tentacle dildos, ejaculating dildos, ovipositors, dragon dildos and other fantasy creature designs, and much more.
You might already have a clear idea of what you’re after, or you might not be sure. Pay attention to things like overall shape, texturing, and any additional features that are important to you (such as a large base, harness compatibility, or an ejaculation tube.) Aesthetics matter, too, but ignore colours for now because we’re going to customise those later in this process! Instead, think about what overall look or vibe speaks to you.
Though I’m not an Astrology Queer, my personal faves right now are the Zodiac collection just for how pretty and unusual they are.
Choosing Your Size
Once you’ve selected your base toy, it’s time to choose your size. Most Nothosaur toys come in a range of sizes, with anything from two to six options to pick from.
One unfortunate but pervasive belief about sex toys (like penises) is that bigger automatically equals better. This just isn’t true. Now perhaps giant toys are your thing! In which case, go nuts and pick the biggest size available. On the other hand, you might find very large insertables uncomfortable, painful, or just plain impractical to use. If so, choose a smaller product.
All Nothosaur toys have exact measurements for all sizes listed in the image gallery on the product pages. I highly recommend getting out a tape measure or ruler and checking the sizes before you make your selection so that you don’t end up with something far larger or far smaller than you expected.
Pro tip: pay at least as much attention to girth as to length when you’re choosing an insertable toy. If a toy is too long for you, you can just use part of the shaft. If it’s too wide, though, you might not be able to use it at all.
Choosing Your Firmness Level
Next, you need to choose the firmness level of your toy. Not all Nothosaur toys have customisable firmness (ovipositors don’t, for example, as they are hollow) but the majority do. Most are available in soft, medium or firm, while some are available only in medium or firm. Nothosaur ships medium firmness toys by default, unless you choose a different option.
Ultimately, the firmness you choose is a matter of preference. Do you like your toys soft and squishy, or firm and rigid? Softer toys will generally be easier to use and insert than firmer toys, so can be a good choice for beginners. Smaller toys generally feel softer than larger ones, and those that are very girthy will also feel harder. For toys that stand up on their own, choosing medium or firm will give them a more stable base.
Nothosaur recommends soft or medium firmness if you’re wanting to do depth training with your toy for safety reasons.
Choosing Your Custom Colourway
Now we get to the really fun part: making your toy look pretty!
Each Nothosaur toy has a default suggested colourway (or several), which you can choose. There are also an array of pre-set colour schemes available across many products. Personally I think “fairy” is probably the prettiest.
None of them quite calling to you? Then you can select “custom mode” and transform your toy to look exactly the way you want it to. You have seven types of custom colourways to choose from:
Solid:a single colour
Covered: an effect with one colour layered over another
Fade 2 colour: the top colour fades gradually into the bottom colour
Marble 2 colour: 2 colours swirled together
Marble 3 colour: 3 colours swirled together
Split 2 colour: the top is one colour, the base another
Split 3 colour: the top, middle, and base are each a different colour
There are 56 colours to choose from in total. Depending on the style you choose, you’ll then be prompted to select one, two, or three colours.
Example colour selection for “Fade 2 colour” style
Some very quick phone maths tells me that with these seven colourway options and 56 colours, that gives you over 18,000 possible combinations. And that’s without including Nothosaur’s suggested colourways or any of the other customisation options. In other words, your toy is sure to be unlike anyone else’s.
Some Nothosaur toys (and some sizes) have additional customisation options available. For example, many of the products allow you to add a vac-u-lock hole and/or adaptor so that you can use your toy with a sex machine. Alternatively, you can stick with the default suction cup base, which allows you to affix your toy to any firm flat surface.
Finally, you can add any extras to your purchase, such as a bottle of lube or a drawstring storage bag for your toy.
And you’re done! It’s time to check out and wait for your custom toy to arrive. Make sure you triple-check everything before you pay, as custom orders are final and non-refundable once production of your toy has started.
How easy was that?
Thanks to Nothosaur for sponsoring this post. All views, as always, are mine. I’ll be back in January with a review of a custom toy I’ve designed using this process!
