[Toy Review] Ifonnx Euna App-Controlled Vibrator

Wow, it has been a while since I’ve written a full toy review, hasn’t it? I have to admit that I’ve missed doing this, though, so it’s really nice to get back into the swing of things with the Euna app-controlled vibrator from Ifonnx.

Ifonnx Euna: Basics

The Ifonnx Euna is a curved vibrator that sits somewhere between a classic “love egg” and that whale thing I reviewed last year. Its insertable length is around 3.5″ and it has a long, curved tail for easy insertion and retrieval.

Ifonnx Euna app-controlled vibrator

The single control button is located on the end of the tail and is large, easy to press, and prominent enough that you can feel for it without needing to look. Without using the app you’ll have access to 3 constant speeds and 8 patterns, which you can scroll through with the touch of the button.

The Ifonnx Euna is coated in 100% soft, hypoallergenic, and body-safe silicone. Mine is a bright shade of pink, and it’s also available in a dusky dark blue. It is IPX7 waterproof, meaning it can be submerged safely in shallow water for up to 30 minutes. In other words, if playing in the bath or shower is your thing, that’s totally possible.

Ifonnx Euna app-controlled vibrator box

The Euna retails for $96 at full price (around £80 GBP), which is a pretty competitive price point for a body-safe, rechargeable, waterproof, app-controlled toy. It arrived discreetly shipped and packaged in an attractive branded box made of recyclable cardboard with a plastic inlay tray.

Along with your toy, in the box you’ll find a charging cable (you’ll get 60 minutes use from a 60 minute charge), a red velvety storage pouch, an instruction leaflet, and a gift card for a discount off your next purchase.

Ifonnx App

The Ifonnx Euna is controllable from anywhere in the world via the free app, which is available on both iOS and Android. Weirdly, I couldn’t find the app by searching the Play Store, but it popped up immediately when I scanned the QR code on the toy’s instruction booklet.

It took a couple of attempts to connect my toy. For some reason, you have to have location permissions enabled for the app to pick up the device. I’m not sure why that should be but maybe someone with more Bluetooth knowhow can explain? But as soon as I’d figured that out, it conncted in less than a second.

Ifonnx Euna app-controlled vibrator app screenshot

Once you’re in the app, you have several options. The Motion option vibrates the toy along with movements of your phone, which has interesting potential for (for example) putting the phone in your or your partner’s pocket as you walk and feeling the vibrations with every step. The Sound setting picks up sounds in the surrounding area and vibes along to them. Try playing music, talking into it, or just keeping it switched on when you’re in a noisy space.

In the Patterns section, you can choose from 9 pre-set patterns or draw and save your own, giving you literally endless possibilities. Under Music, you can upload your own favourite tunes to vibe along to. And in the Remote Connect section, you can hand control over to your partner from anywhere in the world as long as there’s an internet connection.

You can even wake yourself or your partner up with vibrations, if you wish. Since this is an intertable leave-in vibrator, you can wear it overnight. Just set it to vibrate with your chosen pattern and specified intensity at the time you want to wake up. Well, there are worse ways to start your day!

The toy-to-app connection is excellent. Unlike many toys I’ve tried in this category, the connectivity is stable and reliable and the response speed is virtually instantaneous. It also has an attractive black and gold aesthetic and an intuitive user interface.

How Does It Feel?

I like the shape of the Ifonnx Euna a lot. Its slightly curved body provides a nice internal pressure. If you position it just right, the tip can rest against your G-spot. The flexible tale makes it easy and comfortable to insert and remove, and lies non-intrusively against your body while you’re wearing the toy. Thanks to the soft silicone, it’s comfortable enough for all-day wear if that’s your thing.

The vibrations are pretty strong and honestly, more powerful than many more expensive toys of this type that I’ve tried. Unfortunately, they are a little more buzzy than I prefer. If you enjoy deep rumbling vibrations, this might not be the toy for you.

Personally, it’s unlikely that I would orgasm with it, but it’s fun for an ongoing tease throughout the day, while out and about, or as a precursor to sex.

Verdict

The Ifonnx Euna is a great quality little vibrator with excellent app functionality. It also sits at a surprisingly affordable price point compared to many of its competitors!

Buy yours here and check out Infonnx’s other products while you’re there.

This review was sponsored, meaning I was paid to test the product and write a fair and honest review. All options and experiences are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

You’ve heard of rabbit vibrators. You’ve probably heard of Satisfyer’s famous Penguin clitoral suction toy. But have you ever seen a whale vibrator before? Well, now you have! Specifically, the Dr Whale vibrator, which I recently received to test and review.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2: Basics

The Dr Whale 2 is a curved vibrator shaped like a little whale. It measures 7 inches in total when stretched out flat (4 inches insertable) and 1.3 inches in diameter at the widest point. It houses two motors, one in the whale’s “body” and one in its tail.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

The Dr Whale 2 is coated in soft and body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of pale blue. It is rechargeable via the included USB cable and you get 120 minutes use out of a full charge. You also get a storage bag for the toy.

Confusingly, the website says the toy is waterproof but the included instruction booklet says NOT to submerge it in water. I’m going to assume that means it’s splashproof only, though I’m not entirely sure. I didn’t want to risk breaking it by submerging it. For a toy of this price point, though, I feel like “waterproof” should come as standard.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

The Dr Whale 2 features an internal heating element that warms up to a comfortable 42C within a couple minutes of being switched on. Most intriguing of all, it is controllable via the Monster Pub app (available free on iOS and Android).

App-Controlled Kegel Exerciser

One of the advertised purposes of the Dr Whale 2 is as a kegel exerciser. Performing kegel exercises regularly can help strengthen your pelvic floor, which some evidence shows has a variety of benefits from better bladder control to stronger orgasms. I delved into some of the science on kegel exercises a long time ago on this blog, and anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that while using internal exercisers like the Dr Whale 2 doesn’t necessarily make the kegel exercises more effective, using one might make you more likely to perform them regularly.

I downloaded the app and the toy connected easily. The connection is good, reliable and steady as long as you have a stable internet connection.

You have to set up an account on the app, which takes a few seconds. It also asks you to select your gender, but only offers “girl” and “boy” (which is weirdly infantilising as well as annoyingly binary.)

The app then asked me to complete a “Q&A For Girls” which consists of a few questions about whether you’re using the app alone or with a lover and whether you want to share it with a partner. It also, however, includes THIS:

I strongly suspect this is just some really, really bad Google Translate but the last thing I want to see in a sex toy app is talk of being “molested”. Gross. It also gives me pause about the app’s security and safety. Is it likely that someone is going to randomly take control of my toy? Because that’s, erm, deeply concerning if so.

Once you’re in, you can choose from a range of pre-set patterns and those created by other users. You can also create your own using the “Gesture” mode, connect with a partner via chat tools such as WeChat or WhatsApp, or make the vibes respond to movement with the “Action/Reaction” mode.

If you go into the “Health” tab at the top of the screen, you’ll find the various kegel exercise section. In this mode, a voice talks you through a range of exercises. The sessions are pretty short, stating at just 3 minutes, so they’re quite accessible. If you need a little extra encouragement to do kegel exercises regularly, you might enjoy being gently talked through it by the narrator’s soothing voice. I certainly find it helps me to actually bother doing my exercises!

The app responsiveness is good. It’s also fairly intuitive to use, with just a few basic controls to get your head around.

What About as a Sex Toy?

I like the shape and flexibility of the Dr Whale 2. I also really like the gently ridged texture of the silicone on one side of the whale’s body. Its flexy tail means it will work for a variety of bodies and comfortable positioning is easy. The downside of the flexible tail is that, when you’ve inserted the toy, it’s difficult to get a satisfying amount of clitoral pressure.

Monster Pub Dr Whale 2

I’m not really a fan of internal vibrations, though, so I soon turned to using it solely as a clitoral toy.

Unfortunately, the Dr Whale 2 really falls down for me on power. It’s not the worst by any stretch, and I’ve certainly used more expensive toys that were packing less of a punch than this one. But ultimately the vibrations are of mediocre strength and very buzzy. This toy is highly unlikely to ever get me off.

Verdict

A mixed bag here.

I do think the Dr Whale 2 is a good kegel exerciser. The guided sessions on the app are a nice touch and the vibrations add more pleasure to the whole process. As a sex toy, though, I’m unlikely to ever use it again. It’s just too buzzy and not really powerful enough to be satisfying.

The Monster Pub Dr Whale 2 retails for $119.00.

This review was sponsored, meaning the company paid me to write an honest review. All views and experiences are my own.

[Toy Review] Orgazmic Waterproof Clitoral Vibrator

When Honey Play Box invited me to review some products from their extensive range, I was immediately drawn to the Orgazmic Waterproof Clitoral Vibrator. Its interesting shape and remote control functionality suggested a range of interesting possibilities.

But did it impress me when I tried it out?

What is the Orgazmic?

Orgazmic waterproof clitoral vibrator, vibrator for women, people with vulvas, couples

The Orgazmic is a small clitoral vibrator. It measures 4.16″ in length and 1.05″ across at the widest point and is coated in 100% body-safe, hypoallergenic silicone. It’s available in pink or purple. It is rechargeable via the included magnetic cable, with a full charge giving around 2 hours of play.

The Orgazmic is completely waterproof, so you can use it in the bath or shower if that’s your thing.

My Orgazmic came packaged discreetly in a solid, plain black box. Great for gifting and also works well as a storage box.

My Experience

As soon as I pulled it out of the box, I knew I was going to absolutely love the shape of the Orgazmic. It is slightly curved, similar in shape to “panty vibes” you may have seen, with ribbing in the silicone at the wider end and a raised nub in the centre. This is a vibrator that’s absolutely made for grinding on! Slide it between bodies during sex with a partner, or place it on a firm surface. It also rests comfortably against the vulva as a lay-on toy, or even slips into your underwear, if you prefer.

Orgazmic panty vibrator, clitoral vibrator

The Orgazmic offers 9 different vibration modes including 3 constant speeds and 9 patterns, and operates on a simple 1 button interface.

Orgazmic waterproof vibrator

While the Orgazmic offers a decent level of power for such a small toy, I really would have liked it to be rumblier. I much prefer deep, penetrating rumbles to the more surface-level vibes of the Orgazmic. Of course, this isn’t a universal experience! If you prefer higher frequency vibrations, the Orgazmic will suit you well.

The Orgazmic is easy to clean when you’re done. Just use some warm water and gentle soap or a sterile medical wipe.

Remote Control Capabilities

The Orgazmic comes with a separate remote control, which you can slip into your pocket or hand to your partner. I’m not sure exactly what the range is, but I tested it at a range of about 10 metres and it worked perfectly, so it’ll be suitable for most remote control play when you’re in the same physical space.

Remote from remote control vibrator panty vibrator

The Orgazmic is quiet-ish, topping out at around 45 dB. If you want to use it out and about, I’d recommend choosing spaces that have a decent level of ambient noise to begin with. Remember it’s not cool to involve others in your play without consent!

Remember that the remote control will also need charging (via the same cable as the toy), so factor that in to your charging time before you play.

Verdict

The Orgazmic is a decent all-rounder if you like buzzier vibrations. It’s got a great shape, reliable remote control compatibility, and a good number of settings and patterns to choose from.

The Orgazmic retails for $51.99.

This review was sponsored by Honey Play Box. This means they provided me with this product and paid me to write a fair and honest review. All opinions are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Seduction and Alvina Tongue Vibrators

My favourite types of sex toys to try are those that I look at and think “I can’t even imagine what that would feel like!” Call me a curious creature, I guess. That’s why I was spoiled for choice when the good folks at Honey Play Box reached out and offered me a selection of products from their extensive catalogue – which includes suction toys, tongue vibrators, traditional vibes, and much more – to try.

Alvina and Seduction tongue vibrators from Honey Play Box
Seduction (back) and Alvina.

In the end, I chose four products to test, and I’m going to talk about two of them in this post. “Tongue vibrators” are hit and miss for me in general, and I don’t think it’s realistic to expect a toy to effectively mimic receiving oral sex from a human partner. So with that in mind, could the Seduction and Alvina vibrators from Honey Play Box impress me?

Seduction

The Seduction (or Seduction Stimulation Suction Vibrator, to give it its full title) won the Xbiz Toy of the Year Award 2021, so I was very keen to test this award-winning product.

Honey Play Box seduction clit licking tongue vibrator suction vibrator

The Seduction’s innovative design combines suction (of the type you’d get from a pussy pump) with a rapid licking action from a small silicone tongue. The wide head sits over your vulva, creating a seal. This then provides suction either constantly or in a pulsing pattern, while the tongue laps at your clit. There are 5 suction modes and 10 tongue modes to choose from.

Buttons on Honey Play Box Seduction tongue vibrator

The only real downside for me was that I struggled to get the Seduction to create a proper vacuum against my vulva due to my pubic hair. I feel like this toy was definitely designed with hairless pussies or heavily trimmed pubes in mind. Getting it to stick in place and create a seal was a matter of trial and error, and it would dislodge with a small wrong movement. Adding a little water-based lube around the rim helped to get a seal.

Honey Play Box Seduction clit licking suction vibrator for a review of tongue vibrators

That frustration aside, I genuinely enjoyed using the Seduction. The suction function offers a new and different sensation that’s unlike any toy I’ve used before, and the flicking tongue is perfect for those like me who love intense and targeted clitoral stimulation.

The Seduction is rechargeable via the included cable (a full charge lasts around 3 hours) and made of body-safe silicone with ABS plastic accents. It’s also pretty quiet. The suction makes a distinctive whirring noise, but it’s not super loud and is unlikely to be audible, say, in the next room. The flicking tongue is impressively quiet. The Seduction is splashproof but not waterproof, so clean it with a medical wipe or a warm damp cloth but do not submerge it underwater.

Alvina

The Alvina (full title Alvina Luxury Tongue Licking Clitoral Vibrator) features a circular handle/base with a finger loop for ease of use. It’s ultra light and a pretty rose pink/red colour.

Alvina tongue vibrator for a review of Honey Play Box tongue vibrators

The Alvina opens at the top to reveal a wide silicone tongue. This tongue flicks back and forth in any one of 9 different speeds and patterns, controlled by a single button, and can be used by itself or with any of the 9 vibration patterns controlled by the second button. You can mix and match the two functions in any combination, creating over 80 different possible combinations. Pretty neat!

My clit adores the Alvina’s wide, flat tongue, especially when combined with plenty of lube. The gentle, rhythmical lapping is an amazing warm up and, when I add the vibrations, it becomes intense enough to get me off quickly and reliably.

Alvina tongue vibrator clitoral oral sex simulator

The vibrations are quite “buzzy”, which I’m usually not a big fan of, but in this context I find I don’t mind. I think the combination of vibration and tongue motion means that I don’t really notice that the vibes are buzzier than I’d typically go for.

Buttons on Alvina clit tongue vibrator from Honey Play Box

The Alvina is rechargeable, with a full charge lasting up to 3 hours. Like the Seduction, it’s impressively quiet. Made of silicone with ABS plastic, it is hygienic and body-safe. The Alvina is also waterproof, in case bath or shower play is your thing. Clean it using warm, soapy water or a sterile medical wipe.

So Which Do I Like More?

It’s a tough call, as I was genuinely impressed by both of these toys. But I think ultimately the Alvina has the edge for me. I found the slightly wider tongue more friendly to my sensitive clit, and this design more compatible with a body with pubic hair. But these are both cleverly designed, effective tongue vibrators that are distinct from anything else I have in my collection.

The Seduction retails for $106.99 and the Alvina retails for $71.99.

Heads up: this review was sponsored, meaning I was paid to test the products and provide my honest opinion. All views are my own, as always.

[Toy Review] Sohimi Rose Queen

I tend to come to cheap sex toys with a healthy degree of scepticism. Yes, there are amazing toys costing under £30 out there. But so many budget sex toys are poor in quality, made of unsafe materials, have shitty buzzy motors, or die after three uses. I say all this to illustrate how impressed I was with the Sohimi Rose Queen, a $37.99 (that’s about £27.50) dual purpose sex toy that absolutely blew me away.

A Rose Queen by any other name…

(Yes, there are going to be rose puns.)

The Sohimi Rose Queen is a dual purpose sex toy shaped like – you guessed it – a rose on a stem. Look how pretty it is!

Sohimi Rose Queen review product

The flower part of the rose houses a clitoral suction toy, while the handle is a vibrator that can be used internally or externally. Given that the rose head offers a form of flared base, you could even use it anally, if you wanted.

The Sohimi Rose Queen is made of soft and body-safe silicone in a bright shade of red. (Real silicone, not a weird blend or an unsafe gel material masquerading as silicone!) It is rechargeable, offering an hour’s run time and taking around two hours to charge via the included magnetic cable, and fully waterproof.

Sohimi Rose Queen clit sucking vibrator

This toy measures 8″ in total length, of which 6″ makes up the insertable handle and 2″ the rose head. The shaft measures 1.3″ in diameter at the widest point and is lovely and flexible.

Interface and functionality

The Sohimi Rose Queen features two buttons, located on the top of the shaft just below the rose head. The top button (with a lips icon) controls the suction functionality, while the bottom button (with a vibration waves icon) controls the vibrations in the shaft.

Sohimi Rose Queen double ended vibrator buttons

You can use both settings at once, though I’m not really sure why you’d want to.

The clitoral sucking rose head offers five settings: three constant speeds and two pulsing settings. The vibrating end, meanwhile, offers 10 settings: 3 speeds and 7 patterns. I’d have preferred two-way controls, as you have to scroll all the way through to find the settings you want, but we can’t have everything. Remember, this is a $38 vibrator.

Sohimi Rose Queen close-up of clitoral sucking vibrator

Volume-wise, the Rose Queen is acceptable. The vibrations are about what you’d expect for the level of power on offer. Unusually, the clitoral suction end actually gets louder when applied to the body. According to Sohimi, the toy’s highest volume is still under 30 dB, so it’s not egregiously loud or anything.

Rose to the occasion?

So how did the Sohimi Rose Queen fare in use?

The most important thing with any sex toy, ultimately, is “did it get me off?” And dear God, yes, the Rose Queen got me off!

The nozzle is wide enough to encompass a good portion of the external clit, and the silicone is soft enough to provide comfort during use, especially if you add plenty of lube to its rim.

Here’s something I’ve learned: if suction sex toys feel too intense for you, try applying the nozzle over your clitoral hood rather than directly to the glans itself. Many people find that this lowers the overwhelming intensity without reducing pleasure.

Sohimi Rose Queen flexible shaft vibrator

The shape of this toy is a real godsend. Many suction toys are difficult to hold or position in the way that works for my body, simply due to their shape. But the Sohimi Rose Queen’s flexible stem handle is not only comfortable and ergonomic to hold, but also makes it easy to manipulate the toy into my desired position and keep it there.

The vibrating end did less for me. I’m not a fan of internal vibrations, and the vibes are a little too buzzy to do much for me in the way of clitoral stimulation. However, the firm-yet-flexible silicone means it can be used as an insertable dildo for G-spot (or prostate) stimulation, if that’s your thing.

I doubt I’ll reach for the Rose Queen for internal use much, if at all. But that rose head end though? Yes, that’s going to see plenty of use!

Verdict

If you’re looking for an affordable, dual purpose sex toy that offers both vibrations and sucking action, then you’ve found it. The Rose Queen isn’t perfect, of course. The lack of two-way controls and the buzzy vibrations are notable downsides. But overall, it’s a great product that is made of quality materials and gets the job done.

I don’t usually care much about packaging, unless you count getting upset by excessive single-use plastics. But the Rose Queen came packaged in a lovely sturdy box with a rose design on the outside. If you’re on a budget but want to give your loved one a toy that feels special, this is a really nice touch that makes the Rose Queen ideal for gifting.

Get yours from Sohimi, who ship worldwide, and check out their other clitoral vibrators while you’re there.

This Sohimi Rose Queen review was sponsored. This does not impact my views of the product which are, and will always be, my own.

[Toy Review] Osuga Cuddly Bird

Osuga is a woman-owned sexual wellness brand founded in 2015 and based in Hong Kong. Their Cuddly Bird toy for people with vulvas has won awards including a Bronze IDEA Award (2020) and a Golden Pin Design Award (2019). So I was pretty excited to try it and see what all the hype is about.

The Osuga Cuddly Bird is so named, because… well, look at it!

Osuga clit sucking sex toy Cuddly Bird

It was posted discreetly and inside, the toy was packaged in a sturdy Osuga-branded box. In the box you’ll find the toy, its charging base and cable, a set of instructions, and a soft, velvety storage bag in the same colour as your toy.

Design and Materials

The Osuga Cuddly Bird is really two toys in one, featuring an ordinary motor for use as a traditional vibrator as well as a nozzle with clitoral suction function.

The Cuddly Bird measures just a hair over 3″ in height. Its body circumference is 7″ (2.2″ diameter) at the widest point, and the clitoral nozzle is 0.5″ in diameter. It weighs in at 133g.

This toy is made of ultra-soft silicone which feels thick and plushy as well as being body-safe and hygienic. Aesthetically, it’s really cute and pretty. I got the mint green variation (my favourite colour aside from purple!) but you can also get it in pastel pink or yellow. The inclusion of a matching storage bag is a nice touch. I particularly enjoyed the charging port looking like a little bird cage:

Cuddly Bird clit sucking vibrator in birdcage charging port

Fun fact: the charging cage will stay lit up as long as it’s plugged in, even as the toy is removed, so you could double its function as a mini night-light if you wish. If the toy is attached, the light will switch off when the toy is fully charged.

The Cuddly Bird is somewhat waterproof. The website says it’s suitable for shower usage and the booklet advises not submersing it below 30cm. Run time is about 2.5 hours on suction mode or 80 minutes on vibration mode for a full charge.

User Interface

The Cuddly Bird has two buttons, one for each of its functionalities. The button with the circle icon controls the suction, and the button with the two wavy lines icon controls the vibration.

Sex toy control buttons

The buttons are sensibly located on the base of the toy and are easy to press. Simply press and hold the button for your desired function to switch it on, use the same button to scroll through the settings (three vibration speeds and one pattern on the vibrating side, three speeds on the suction side.)

Be aware that you can’t use the vibrations and suction at the same time. It’s easy to switch between them, but I would have appreciated the ability to try using them together.

Cuddly Bird in Use

I’ll start by saying that the vibration settings didn’t really do much for me. They’re pretty buzzy, and that isn’t a sensation that works well for my body. The power is also dampened a lot by the thick silicone. If you prefer gentler or buzzier vibrations, the Cuddly Bird may work well for you. But if you’re like me and prefer a deeper rumble, skip this toy’s vibrating mode.

The suction setting, though? Well, that is a different matter entirely!

I have a pretty small glans clitoris (that’s the external bit, for anyone who isn’t a sex ed nerd like me!) and this toy’s nozzle is just the right size to envelop it.

I found the shape of the Cuddly Bird easy and comfortable to hold. For me, the best angle was using it sideways on (so the toy at 90 degrees to my body, closing around my clit from the left hand side). Your mileage may vary and suction toys are notoriously different for every body, so experiment and see what works for you.

Cuddly Bird vibrator

Once I had the angle right, the Cuddly Bird delivered near-perfectly in terms of what I look for from a clitoral suction toy. It very quickly brought me to the point of orgasm. When I’d finished, my legs were shaking – always a sign of a good time!

Bonus: the Cuddly Bird is relatively quiet, maxing out at around 50dB. It easily passed my extremely scientific “door closed, under a blanket” test, and it’s quiet enough that I can comfortably watch porn or listen to audio smut while using it.

Top Tips for Choosing and Using Your Vibrator

I often say that sex education failed me and I believe it failed many of us. One of the most critical aspects of sexuality as a whole is… pleasure! And guess what didn’t get a mention in any of the sex ed I received? Yup, you’ve guessed it.

Like me, Osuga believes that “sex is a beautiful and natural experience” and wants everyone who desires it to have the best sex possible. What that looks like will be different for every person. But whether you’re monogamous or open, queer or straight, male or female or non-binary, you can use toys to enhance your sex life if you want to. Here’s a very quick rundown of my top tips for choosing and using a sex toy:

  1. Pay attention to what YOU like, not what you (or your partner, or society) think people with your body parts are “supposed” to like.
  2. Choose a body-safe product. There are so many affordable body-safe options on the market nowadays!
  3. If you’re new to using toys, aim for a versatile product that you can use to explore different sensations.
  4. Lube makes just about everything better. Choose a safe, water-based lube with as few ingredients as possible.
  5. Clean your toy between every use (see the next section for more info) to keep it hygienic.
  6. Consider experimenting with a toy on your own before introducing it into partnered sex.
  7. If you’re bringing toys into partnered play (which is awesome – yay!) make sure you communicate honestly about what’s working and what isn’t. Aim for exploration and mutual pleasure, not a specific goal.

Most importantly of all, remember that sexuality and sexual pleasure are endlessly, beautifully unique. There’s no right and wrong way to explore or use toys. If you’re staying safe and having fun, then you’re doing it right.

How to Clean Your Sex Toy

If there’s one question about toys I get asked more than any other, it’s probably “how do I keep my sex toys clean?” I actually wrote a whole article about this, but here’s an executive summary:

  • You can boil a silicone or stainless steel sex toy that doesn’t contain a motor (or pop it in the dishwasher on the top rack).
  • For toys with motors, like the Cuddly Bird, you can’t boil them as it will destroy the motor. Instead, use either a 10% bleach solution (9 parts water to 1 part bleach) or a body-safe sterile wipe (I get mine from a medical supplies website). Then rinse your toy and let it dry thoroughly before you put it away.
  • It’s safe to share non-porous toys like the Cuddly Bird, in general, but sterilise it between users unless you’re fluid bonded.

If you take care of it, a body-safe sex toy in a material like silicone will last you for years. A great investment in your pleasure, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Cuddly Bird: Verdict

(Bird-ict? No.)

The Cuddly Bird is a really fabulous little clit sucker. It was a pleasure to use, it got the job done, and the fact that it’s cute as hell and in one of my favourite colours doesn’t hurt, either!

The Osuga Cuddly Bird retails for £78.21 (around $110 for my US friends). You can get $40 off using my link and the code “Coffee”.

Thanks to Osuga for sponsoring this review. Please note that sponsorship does not guarantee a glowing review and that all opinions are my own!

[Toy Review] Funejoy Clitoral Sucking Vibrator

This week, I’ve got a couple of reviews coming out for products from companies I haven’t worked with before. First up is Funejoy, based out of Japan and the US. They kindly sent me their Clitoral Sucking Vibrator to try.

I don’t think it’s a secret that I am not a big fan of Amazon. The Bezos Behemoth has a number of very significant issues and downsides. However, it’s also the biggest and most convenient retailer in the world, and most people (including me) shop there from time to time.

Sex toys on Amazon are a notorious minefield. There are many people selling knock-off versions of high-end and brand-name toys, which will not be under warranty and may not even be safe. There are many others selling cheap toys made of unsafe materials. But since it’s so convenient, there will always be people buying sex toys on Amazon. To that end, it’s always a relief when Amazon-based retailers stock products that are precisely as advertised.

Let’s dive into a closer look at the Funejoy Clitoral Sucking Vibrator.

Funejoy Sucking Vibrator: Details & Design

The Funejoy Clitoral Sucking Vibrator is a toy for people with vulvas based around the enduringly popular “suction” style stimulation. Instead of vibrating in the traditional sense, these toys deliver intense clitoral stimulation via rapid air pulses.

Funejoy clitoral sucking vibrator in red silicone

Many people find this sensation intensely pleasurable and some say it induces near-instant orgasms. As ever, your mileage may vary.

It arrived in discreet packaging and inside, the toy was packaged in a sturdy box along with its charging cable and user manual. It’s made of 100% silicone (yes I flame-tested it, and yes it’s definitely silicone!) with a soft matte finish and in a bright shade of red.

The toy measures 4″ in total length and is shaped like a teardrop – flat on one end and tapering to a point on the other. The suction nozzle sits in the centre of the flat end.

red silicone suction vibrator

This toy is fully waterproof and submersible. Pro tip: suction toys can feel amazing underwater. If you’ve ever masturbated with a jacuzzi jet, the sensation is a little bit like that, only better! The Funejoy Clitoral Sucking Vibrator is rechargeable via the included USB cable and a magnetic charging port on the back.

Experience

To say I was pleasantly surprised by this toy would be an understatement. I always moderate my expectations when it comes to cheap toys (though let’s be real, high-end sex toys can be disappointing, too!) So I really wasn’t expecting the Funejoy Clitoral Sucking Vibrator to knock my socks off, so to speak… but it did.

Let’s start with the shape. I have really small hands and I found the teardrop shape ergonomic and comfortable to hold, even through long testing sessions.

Funejoy vibrator for clit stimulation

The positioning of the nozzle also worked really well for my body. With some suction toys, I have to do strange hand or wrist contortions to get them to sit right. But this one rests comfortably against my body and envelopes my clit and clitoral hood easily.

The user interface consists of a single button to cycle through the settings (three constant speeds and seven patterns.) I’d have liked a back button, in an ideal world, but I can live without it given the way I use this toy.

Buy sex toys on Amazon from Funejoy, like this red clit suction toy

As anyone who has read my previous reviews will probably guess, it’s all about the three constant speeds for me. I like to start with the lowest one and build up slowly, only switching to the highest constant speed when I’m very close to orgasm. Even the low speed has some intensity behind it, and the top speed packs a hell of a punch. The pulsing patterns are fine if you like that sort of thing, but they’re not really for me.

The bottom line: it’s easy to use, it feels incredible, and it can get me off quickly and reliably.

A Note on Volume

Be aware that the Funejoy Clitoral Sucking Vibrator is a little loud. Not egregiously so, and all suction toys tend to have some volume to them, but it’s definitely noticeable. It juuuuuust passes the “under a blanket, door closed” test in my house, but if you have thin walls or roommates, this is something you’ll want to be aware of.

Someone in one of the Amazon reviews states that you could use it in the office without anyone noticing and… unless your office is literally on a building site with power tools going off all day, that is laughably untrue. But don’t use sex toys in the office anyway, your colleagues didn’t consent to that and you could get fired!

Verdict

A really pleasant surprise that has left me genuinely impressed! If you’re looking for a clitoral sucking toy and you’re on a budget, this is a safe and quality option for the price.

The Funejoy Clitoral Sucking Vibrator retails for $34.99 (that’s about £25 to my fellow Brits.) You can get 50% off for a limited time using my code, DXTPF9AL.

Thanks to Funejoy for sending me this product and sponsoring this post, which means they paid me to write an honest review. All views, as always, are mine.

[Lube Review] Promescent Personal Lubricants

I’m picky about lube. Like, super picky. This is for a good reason – there are a lot of ingredients that my body simply does not like or get along with. Having to stop sex because your vulva is burning as a result of some random lube you grabbed at a sex party? Do not recommend.

Couple in bed with lubes in foreground

As a result, I tend to stick to a couple of favourite brands. When companies offer me lubes for review, I often either just say no or end up hating the product.

I say all this so that you understand how unusual it is for me to discover a new line of lubes that I genuinely love and will happily use again and again.

Who Are Promescent?

Promescent is a company dedicated to closing the orgasm gap (a term for the fact that on average, cis men and other people with penises experience orgasm more frequently and more quickly than cis women and other people with vulvas during partnered sex.)

They started out making an orgasm delay product for penis owners, but have now branched out into other lines including lube, condoms, massage oils, and arousal gels for vulva owners.

Promescent works with a medical advisory team including highly trained urologists and sexual medicine experts, and is additionally supported by a medical review team featuring names you may know, including Dr Justin Lehmiller and Dr Laura Berman, and a team of non-medical sexuality experts.

Promescent’s Lube Line

Promescent were kind enough to send me three of their lubes to try. I received the water-based lube, organic aloe-based lube, and silicone lube. I’m going to start by talking about the ingredients, then look at my experience with each product in turn.

Promescent organic and body safe lubes

Each lube comes in a 4fl oz (118ml) disk-cap bottle. You can also get larger 8fl oz bottles, or subscribe for regular deliveries and save 7%.

Ingredients and Safety

With such a large team of sexuality professionals and medical experts on board, one would expect Promescent to be using body-safe ingredients in their lubes. I looked closely at each label and did a deep dive on the internet to learn about them.

My main resources for this research were Condom Depot’s What’s In My Lube? guide, Incidecoder, and SkinCarisma’s ingredients analyser. After looking up every ingredient name I didn’t recognise, I feel safe in saying that these lubes do not contain any toxic ingredients and will be safe for anyone to use as long as you don’t have a specific allergy or sensitivity.

A small disclaimer here: the water-based lube does contain glycerin. This isn’t a toxic ingredient, but it is a form of sugar and can be problematic to people who are prone to yeast infections. I’ve never had an issue with it myself, but it’s something to be aware of.

None of the Promescent lubes contain parabens (harmful chemicals that pop up distressingly often in lubricants and cosmetics and have been linked to hormone disruption, fertility issues, and even cancer.) All the lubes are also pH balanced, meaning they won’t have a negative impact on your vaginal health.

Let’s dive in one at a time and talk about how I got on with them!

Promescent Water-Based Lube

Promescent water-based lube

I always tell my readers that if they’re going to buy one type of lube, make it a quality water-based lube. That’s because water-based is the most versatile type of lube you can get – a true all-rounder!

The Promescent water-based lube has a light, natural scent and a slight tangy taste. It’s very runny and slippery, and you only need a little bit to go a long way. This lube is quick-drying, non-sticky, and did not leave any unwanted residue on either my body or my sheets.

A 4oz bottle of Promescent water-based lube retails for $8.99, making it the cheapest of the bunch. You can use it with any type of barrier and any sex toy material.

Use it for: oral sex, since it has the lightest taste, or playing with silicone toys.

Promescent Organic Aloe-Based Lube

Promescent organic aloe-based lube

I’ve never tried an aloe-based lube before, so this was a new one to me. I’ve been sniffing it and trying to work out what the scent reminds me of. It’s very botanical – basically, if “green” had a smell, it would be this. The aloe lube has a stronger taste than the water-based, though it’s still pretty mild and not at all unpleasant.

Texture-wise, the aloe lube is about the same thickness and runnyness as the water-based. However, I found that it absorbed into my skin more slowly, meaning that it lasted longer. This makes it perfect for lube-heavy activities such as anal play!

It’s got a lovely, slippery feel that is the closest of the three to natural lubrication. It left my skin feeling soft and non-sticky, and did not stain my sheets.

FYI: the aloe lube isn’t safe for use with polyurethane condoms, but latex and polyisoprene are fine. It pairs well with all body-safe sex toy materials.

A 4oz bottle of Promescent organic aloe lube retails for $9.49.

Use it for: anal sex, vaginal penetration with a penis or toy.

Promescent Silicone Lube

Promescent silicone lube

Silicone lube is divisive in the sexuality world. Some people love it, others hate it. I love it in the right contexts, but in practice I don’t use it very often. That’s because silicone lube can sometimes damage silicone toys (though it doesn’t always) and a large percentage of my toy collection consists of silicone products.

Silicone also requires more clean-up, since it can stain certain fabrics and is harder to get off your skin. I recommend putting a towel down for easy clean up when you’re done.

With that said, silicone lube also has a lot of advantages and I enjoyed getting a chance to experiment with it.

Promescent’s silicone lube contains just four ingredients. It is thinner and runnier than many other silicone lubricants I’ve encountered. Again, you really only need a little bit and it goes a long way. It did leave my skin slightly sticky, but washed away easily with my usual soap.

The texture of this lube is super slick, which makes it absolutely perfect for hand sex. Clitoral stimulation is a lot more comfortable and pleasurable when there’s sufficient lubrication, and Promescent’s silicone lube is an excellent choice for this purpose. It’s also ideal for bath and shower sex, since it isn’t water-soluble.

A 4oz bottle of Promescent silicone lube retails for $12.99.

Use it for: hand sex (on yourself or a partner), playing with non-silicone toys.

So which is my favourite?

It’s a tough call, but the organic aloe-based lube is a surprising winner for me! The slick, moisturising feel and the nice natural scent just clinch it. But honestly they’re all great products that absolutely deserve a place on your nightstand.

FYI: this review was sponsored, which means Promescent paid me to test their products and write an honest review. Images are courtesy of Promescent and used with permission. All views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Foxy Touch Wand Massager

It’s always a pleasure to review for a company I’ve never worked with before so, when Foxy Touch reached out to offer me the chance to try their wand massager, I was happy to oblige!

Meet Foxy Touch & the Wand Massager

Foxy Touch is a new woman-founded sex toy company based in London. Their online shop just launched this month, and the wand massager is their first product.

The Foxy Touch Wand Massager is a mini classic wand shaped vibrator. It arrived attractively packaged in a black box with a white sleeve, featuring a picture of and information about the product.

Foxy Touch magic wand vibrator in box

The toy is 7.8″ in total length, and the head is 1.83″ in diameter. The massager is coated in 100% silky soft and body-safe black silicone with a subtle ripple pattern, and decorated with a silver ABS plastic band around the base of the handle.

The Foxy Touch Wand Massager is waterproof (easy to clean!) and USB rechargeable via the included cable. It comes partially charged, so you can get started right away. When it needs charging, a full cycle takes around two hours.

Magic wand vibrator clitoral sex toy from Foxy Touch

This toy retails for a well-priced £49.00 and, when you order, you’ll also receive a free 250ml bottle of Lubido water-based lube and two free erotic fiction ebooks. If you’re in the UK, shipping is free, too.

Controls & Interface

The Foxy Touch Wand Massager is controlled via three buttons positioned on the handle. When I have the toy in my hand, the buttons are in exactly the right place to press them with my thumb.

The quick-start guide explains what all the buttons do, but they couldn’t be simpler. The bottom one switches the toy on and off, the middle one changes the pattern, and the top one changes the speed.

Clitoral vibrator handle with buttons

The buttons are easy to press and the toy is responsive. I would have preferred the ability to cycle both ways through speeds and patterns, though.

Since there are 7 different patterns and 4 different intensity options, you can mix and match for any of an impressive 28 different combinations.

Experience

I’m really, really impressed with this massager! As soon as I switched it on, I knew it was going to be a winner based on the powerful rumbles that were emanating from it.

But before we get to the power, let’s take a step back and look at the ergonomics.

The Foxy Touch Wand Massager is comfortable to hold thanks to the soft silicone and gently tapered design of the handle. It fits comfortably in my hand and, though it’s got a little weight to it, it’s not too heavy to use for an extended period.

You do feel some of the vibrations in the handle. So be aware of that if it’s something that makes a difference to you.

So… that motor, then! Holy crap!

I really wasn’t expecting this toy to be as powerful as it is. It starts from a satisfying rumble and ramps up through four levels to a mega impressive top speed. The vibrations are rumbly enough to penetrate deeply, providing the kind of hard and intense clitoral stimulation that I love.

Most importantly, it gets me off – fast, reliably, and hard. Yes, this is a toy that makes my picky, power-queen clit very very happy.

The Foxy Touch Wand Massager has a somewhat flexible neck, which is useful for angling it to get precisely the positioning you’re after. But, thanks to the firmness of the head, you can still get plenty of pressure if that’s what you enjoy.

Noise-wise, it’s fine. Not the most discreet in the world but perfectly acceptable when weighted against the level of power.

The Verdict

As I mentioned, this is Foxy Touch’s first offering. I am seriously super impressed – a body-safe, ergonomic and powerful vibe on the first try? I can’t wait to see what they come out with next.

Heartily recommended if you’re looking for a classic external vibe that does exactly what it says on the tin with power and finesse.

Foxy Touch logo


FYI: this review was sponsored, which does not impact my views on the product. All opinions are, as ever, my own.

[Toy Review] Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator

There are some sex acts that are relatively easy to mimic with toys, such as penetrative sex. There are others which are more difficult, though companies have tried valiantly – the blowjob being one such example. And then there are acts that it is seemingly impossible to replicate with a toy. Exhibit A: cunnilingus.

Suction toys have claimed for years that they simulate oral sex. Toys like the Sqweel have tried and, if the reviews are to be believed, largely failed. Today I’m reviewing the Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator, another toy that claims to simulate cunnilingus. But how did it fare? Let’s find out!

Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator

The Sohimi Tongue Vibrator is a mini clit tickler toy, featuring a large rounded base topped with a small flickering tongue. When the toy is on, the tongue oscillates or flicks rapidly back and forth.

Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator purple clitoral vibrator
Image credit: Sohimi

When I unboxed this toy, the first thing that struck me was how small it is. Yes, I know it’s called a mini vibrator, but I wasn’t expecting it to be quite this small. It measures a petite 3″ in height and 2″ in diameter. The tongue is about 1″ long. Thanks to its tiny size, it is super light and fits neatly in my small hand.

The best way I can describe this toy is to say that it reminds me of a cross between a flower and one of those plastic candles with artificial flames that you get on restaurant tables.

Sohimi tongue vibrator for women and people with vulvas

The Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator is 100% waterproof and rechargeable via the included USB charging base. It is made of body-safe and surprisingly soft matte silicone in an attractive shade of purple. And yes, it’s definitely real silicone!

Does it feel like cunnilingus?

In all honesty, no.

The thing about cunnilingus is that it’s not just about the back and forth flicking sensation of a tongue. It’s actually a combination of many different sensations – the warmth and wetness of a lover’s mouth, the feel of their hot breath on your bits, that moment when they bury their whole face between your legs as if they want to devour you. So much of what makes cunnilingus great just cannot be replicated with a toy.

So no, the Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator does not really feel like oral sex. But that doesn’t mean it’s a bad toy.

But does it feel good?

Yes, it actually does!

Given how choosy my clit is and how much of a power-queen I tend to be, I was a little skeptical to begin with. Would a tiny little clitoral vibrator costing $27 be able to do anything for me?

Well, I am happy to report that it did! The flickering motion feels fantastic and distinctly different from a traditional vibrator. The tongue is structured yet flexible, so it’s ideal for those who love pinpoint stimulation but want something a bit gentler than a hard plastic vibrator.

Flickering tongue vibrator clitoral sex toy

It took a little experimenting to get it right. My clitoral glans is extremely sensitive and direct stimulation is usually too intense to be pleasurable. In the end, I discovered that the most pleasurable way for me to use the Mini Tongue Vibrator was to allow the tongue to flicker against the side of my clit. (The left side is more pleasurable on my body, don’t ask me why.) So if you get one of these, take the time to experiment and try out different placements to see what works for you.

Pro tip: this is a toy that you really need to use lube with. Without it (even when I was quite wet) I found the tongue flicking action uncomfortable. Add a very generous blob of water-based lube to the tongue itself and/or your vulva before you start, and reapply as necessary.

Controls and Interface

The Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator operates on a one-button interface, which sits in the centre of the toy’s base and is easy to press. Hold it for two seconds to turn on, cycle through the patterns with quick presses, then hold it for a further two seconds to turn off.

The Mini Tongue Vibrator has 10 settings total: 3 constant speeds and 7 patterns. I think it’s well-known by now that I don’t generally care for patterns much. This is a “stick it on the highest constant setting and leave it there” toy for me.

Other Important Info

The Mini Tongue Vibrator is certainly not a silent toy, but its volume is well within the range of what I consider acceptable. It makes the same kind of low, consistent buzz as a mid-powered vibrator.

It’s also worth being aware that this toy isn’t really one that you can press hard into your vulva (or you can, but the flickering motion will be severely impeded.) Too much pressure and it will stop flicking or slow down a lot.

The pictures on the website seem to imply you can use this toy internally. Which, obviously, I had to try. The verdict? You technically can, but it probably won’t do anything. The tongue is so short that it can’t get even an inch inside the vagina so, unless you particularly enjoy stimulation right at your entrance, this is an external-only toy.

Final Verdict

I’m going to declare this one “surprisingly good for the price!” No, it doesn’t feel like cunnilingus, but it provides something a bit different to a standard vibrator that still feels really good. It’s also small, portable, and body-safe.

The Sohimi Mini Tongue Vibrator retails for $26.99.

Thanks to Sohimi Sex Toys for sponsoring this review. I was paid to provide my honest and unbiased thoughts – all opinions are my own.