[Toy Review] YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator

Reviewing penis toys can be a challenge for me, not being in possession of a penis. My nesting partner, Mr C&K, is often willing to assist but was unable to on this occasion. I’d like to extend my thanks to my dear friend SilverDom for lending his penis and opinions to the cause of sex toy reviews.

Now let’s take a look at the Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator from YoYoLemon.

YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator

The YoYoLemon Male Masturbator with Rotating and Thrusting and Female Moans, Realistic Textured Vagina Pocket Pussy (to give it its full and exhausting title!) is a penis masturbator in the typical “hard outer cup, soft inner sleeve” style. Like many other toys of its kind, it wouldn’t look out of place amidst a lineup of high-end kitchen gadgets. It measures a hefty 10.5″ in length and 3.5″ in diameter. The maximum penetration depth is 5.2″.

YoYoLemon thrusting and rotating masturbator

This toy offers both thrusting and rotating functions, as well as audio playing female voices making moaning sounds. I’m equally amused and a little unsettled by the idea of a toy that moans at you as you use it, but I can see how this might be some people’s thing.

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator is rechargeable. A full charge takes 2.5 hours and gives you anything from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours of runtime, depending on the settings you’re using. Confusingly, the packaging states that the toy is “waterproof” but the instructions then warn you not to keep it in the water for long. I have not tested it in water for fear of killing it, but this suggests to me that it’s somewhat water-resistant for cleaning but it definitely wouldn’t be a good idea to use it in the bath or shower.

SilverDom notes that the text on the packaging “reads like it has been run through Google Translate 17 times.” An actual quote: “Do not let go the start of moanin and return to the moanin forward.” The instructions, such that they are, are written in much the same way. Hire an actual translator for your product info, please and thank you.

Materials and Care

The exterior case is made of hard ABS plastic, while the interior is TPE. This internal part is removeable for cleaning. TPE (thermoplastic elastomer) is usually non-toxic, but it is porous. This means that you can never get it truly sterile. The material will harbour bacteria and begin to degrade after a while.

It’s generally fine to use TPE toys for external use, and the vast majority of penis masturbators are made of this material. However, you should throw it away as soon as it starts to split, smell bad, or show any other signs of material degredation. You shouldn’t share a TPE toy, as this can be an STI transmission risk. Wash it with soap and water after each use, and then dust it with a little bit of cornstarch to encourage it to dry out completely.

In Use

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator looks and feels well-built and is heavy in the hand. Most people will likely need two hands to operate it.

YoYoLemon thrusting and rotating masturbator

The inner sleeve is lined with dozens of little nubs to provide additional stimulation, and the opening is “vaguely vulva-shaped.” At first, the opening appears quite small, meaning that if your penis is above average in either length or girth you might worry about whether it’ll fit. Don’t worry, though – this toy is stretchy and with a little water-based lube, will accommodate the majority of penis sizes easily. If you have a slimmer penis, you might find it frustrating as the inner tube is quite wide and doesn’t have the tightest grip. SilverDom reported finding the inner nubs quite rough and not particularly pleasurable.

The toy offers 10 patterns of twisting and thrusting and a single button that cycles through them all. What is lacking, though, is speed control. A scroll wheel or separate buttons would fix this problem. “I found all of the patterns entirely useless to me, largely because I had no control over them. I came frustratingly close to orgasm at least 4 times,” SilverDom says.

There are three buttons on the toy in total. The other two switch it on and off, and control the moaning sounds.

Oh, and those moans? They’re basically low-quality mainstream porn sounds. If this is something you find sexy, fair enough. SilverDom and I both agreed it was mostly weird and distracting. There is a headphone jack if you want to make use of this feature discreetly. The toy’s actual sounds in use are – despite claims to the contrary – also rather loud and distracting.

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator features a suction cup to attach it to a wall or other surface for hands-free use. The suction cup is reasonably sturdy and holds it in place well.

Cleaning is ostensibly easy thanks to the removeable inner part. However, it’s actually quite hard to take apart and put back together. This is made worse by the fact that the tube and entrance are two separate pieces.

Verdict

This one’s more miss than hit, unfortunately. There are just too many problems and design-and-execution flaws for me to really recommend it. Speed controls, a non-porous material, a better designed internal sleeve, and removing or improving the weird moaning function would all vastly improve the quality of this product.

This toy retails for $79.99/£65.99. It might be cheaper than other comparable products on the market, but it’s not really worth the cost saving when there’s such a dip in quality. You can spend just a little more and get something much better.

I’m gonna conclude with SilverDom’s TL/DR: “I don’t think a toy has ever made me feel so sexually frustrated… or with such temporary hearing loss!” Unfortunately, the promised “earth-shaking orgasms” were not forthcoming.

This review was sponsored, which means I was paid to write an honest and unbiased review. All views are mine and the toy tester’s. Pics are by YoYoLemon.

[Toy Review] Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Heating Telescopic & Squirming Dildo

Happy new year, my friends! I hope you’ve had a relaxing holiday season and new year, no matter what you celebrate or don’t. I’m back at work now, which means it’s time to start ploughing through my review queue.

First up, the Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Heating Telescopic & Squirming Dildo, which was kindly sent to me recently. Considering the absolute mouthful of its full name, I’m gonna just call it the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo from here on out. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Dildo

This realistic dildo measures 8.6″ in total length (6.3″ insertable) and offers a thrusting extension of an additional 1.5″. It measures 1.59″ in diameter at the widest point.

The “6-in-1” refers to its 6 key features: thrusting, heating, vibrating, swinging, rotating, and remote-controllability. There’s also a suction cup and large “balls” base, making it harness-compatible if you like.

Lezovibes thrusting dildo heating dildo

The Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo is made of body-safe and non-porous silicone and passes a flame-test. The silicone is extremely matte, so don’t forget to add plenty of water-based lube particularly if you’re using the thrusting function.

This toy is IPX6 waterproof. This means it can withstand jets of water but is not submersible. In other words, clean it under the tap but don’t take it in the bath with you. The remote control is not waterproof.

The Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo is rechargeable via the included USB cable, and a full charge took around 2 hours and gives up to 60 minutes of runtime depending on the settings you’re using.

Things I Like About This Toy

Let’s start with the good. Retailing at a middle-of-the-road $69.99, the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo does have several positive points to recommend it.

Lezovibes thrusting dildo in my hand

  • It does a lot of different things! If you’re newer to toys or just want to get something quite versatile, then a toy with lots of different features is a great choice for you. As mentioned, this thrusting dildo also vibrates, rotates, swings, and heats up. Pretty impressive array of options, there!
  • The outer layer of silicone is squishy and pliable, and the toy has a firm core. This gives a kind of “dual density” effect that more realistically mimics a bio-cock.
  • Speaking of realism, the lifelike aesthetic is great if you like that sort of thing, from the veined shaft to the textured balls and foreskin. To be entirely honest I don’t particularly like that kind of thing, personally. Hyper-realism isn’t really my vibe. However, it appeals to a lot of people and I’m continually getting asked for recommendations for realistic toys.
  • The thrusting function feels great in use. (The swinging function is really just a slight variation on the thrusting and I couldn’t feel much difference between them.)
  • The suction cup is strong and holds the toy firm on a surface, even when the various functions are switched on.
  • The heating function! A sex toy that warms up in use is one of those things you never knew you needed until you try it. I started feeling the warmth around 30 seconds after I switched the heating function on. It heats to 42°C.
  • It has ten different vibrating modes, and the motor is positioned so that the vibrations are concentrated in the head of the toy. For most users, that’s gonna be where you want them.
  • As it has a large base (thanks to the balls and suction cup), this toy is both vaginal-safe and anal-safe.
  • The rigidity makes it great for strap-on sex.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There were also a few issues that let this toy down. They include:

  • The controls are needlessly complicated and confusing. I actually had to email the company because I COULD NOT get mine to work at all and I was convinced I had a dud one for a while. It did eventually start working, but the controls are still far more confusing than they need to be.
  • The button in the base is really, really hard to push in a way that’s extremely annoying. I literally have to use the thumbs of both hands, one on top of the other, to get it going or switch it off.
  • Like all thrusting toys, it makes a high-pitched mechanical whining noise in use. I can’t hold this against Lezovibes in particular, though – even at the premium end of the market, the technology just isn’t there yet to make silent thrusting toys.
  • The vibrations are weak and buzzy.
  • I can’t feel the rotating function at all so I’m not really sure what the point of this is.
  • The remote control’s responsiveness is variable. It responds about 75% of the time in my experience, but that’s a high enough failure rate to be intensely annoying.
  • It’s a little too straight for me. I would have preferred it to have a little more curve and flex.

Verdict

Lezovibes thrusting dildo suction cup dildo attached to black shower tiles

With the acknowledgement that realistic dildos aren’t really my thing (but may well be yours,) I still found quite a few things to like in the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo. Overall, it’s a mixed bag. Though the many different functions are a good way to explore new sensations, I think this toy is trying to do too many things. It’s better to do fewer things and do them really well than to try to cram every feature under the sun into a single toy.

More than anything, though, please sort out those controls. It’s so needlessly complicated to use and that means people will just end up not using a bunch of the functionalities that make up its main selling points.

Thanks to Lezovibes for sponsoring this review! All views, as ever, are mine.

[Toy Review] Four BestVibe Tongue Vibrators

Tongue vibrators are having a moment in a big way. In our ongoing quest to find a sex toy that feels like receiving cunnilingus (more on that below), companies are coming up with more and more interesting – and occasionally outlandish – variations on the tongue vibrator theme.

BestVibe, who have kindly sponsored a series of posts, have a large array of tongue vibrators in their catalogue. They sent me four to try out, compare and contrast, and ultimately judge for which one is my favourite.

Let’s go.

Selection of BestVibe tongue vibrators in their boxes

A Note on My Review Criteria

I’ve said this before and I’ll repeat it here: there is absolutely no such thing as a toy that genuinely feels like receiving cunnilingus from a partner. (I wish there was, because I would pay serious cash moneys for that product!) It just does not exist. Sex toy technology is not there yet.

Therefore, I will NOT be grading these toys on the extent to which they mimic cunnilingus. That is an unfair and currently impossible standard. Instead, I will grade them on the basis of factors such as:

  • Materials
  • Design and aesthetic
  • Functionality
  • Feel
  • Power
  • Volume
  • Effectiveness (e.g. “did it get me off?”)

I’ll share the pros and cons of each product and give it a score out of 10.

Tongue Vibrator #1: “Rose Low Noise 5 Thrusting & Vibrating 7 Tongue Licking Vibrator” ($39.44)

BestVibe rose vibrator tongue sex toy

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone,
  • It looks like a rose, which is kind of cute.
  • Double-ended toy: features both a tongue for clitoral stimulation and a thrusting shaft for G-spot play.
  • You can use both the features at the same time (great for sharing, I guess, though I can’t quite picture how the physics of that would work in practice) or separately (far more practical.)

Cons

  • The tongue is far too rigid. Even on the lowest setting, it just HURTS. It’s a hard pointy thing flicking back and forth against your clit, and it’s exactly as unpleasurable as that sounds.
  • The thrusting mechanism only moves about an inch and its movement is severely hampered by my vaginal walls when it’s actually inside me.
  • The claim of “low noise” is hilariously untrue. It has the typical whining sound of any thrusting toy and the tongue part makes a distracting sort of buzz/rattle.

Verdict

Bad. 2/10.

Tongue Vibrator #2: Fiona Rose Clit Licking & Vibrating Stimulator Multifunctional Vibrator ($39.99)

BestVibe double ended vibrator rose tongue sex toy

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone.
  • The softer, more flexible tongue actually feels amazing on my clit.
  • The “come hither” motion of the insertable end is excellent for G-spot stimulation.
  • Each end can be controlled separately or used together.
  • The long stem/cord design allows for more flexibility of positioning and more possibilities in using both ends at once if you want to.
  • The flicking tongue end is very quiet when used by itself.

Cons

  • The vibrations are very buzzy.
  • Annoying mechanical whine when the G-spot stimulator is turned on.
  • I’d have preferred fewer patterns and another level or two of continuous “licking.”

Verdict

Surprisingly decent. 6/10.

Tongue Vibrator #3: Beinlove Tongue Lick Rabbit Clitoris Nipple Vibrator ($73.84)

BestVibe rabbit tongue vibrator

Find it here.

Pros

  • The soft, flicking, textured tongue feels fantastic on my clit.
  • Fully waterproof.
  • Comes with two different size suction cups to accommodate different bodies and uses.

Cons

  • Extremely weird and baffling aesthetic. Why does it have a bunny face and ears? How is that necessary? (Have we just inextricably associated rabbits with sex toys now… and can we please stop?)
  • The clear cup part is supposed to provide a seal and stimulate the entire vulva via vacuum suction, but it just… doesn’t. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get a seal. I suspect this might be because I have pubic hair. But if a sex toy relies on the user having no pubic hair in order to use it, then it is a badly designed sex toy.
  • The suction cups don’t attach very well to the main toy. They’re either half falling off, or trapping the tongue so it doesn’t move properly.
  • The noise. Dear god, the whining squeaking noise.
  • The tongue and suction cups, i.e. the parts that actually come into contact with the body, are made of TPE rather than silicone. This is a porous material that will harbour bacteria and degrade over time.

Verdict

Interesting idea, poor execution. 4/10.

Tongue Vibrator #4: Helran 10 Vibrating & 7 Tongue Licking G Spot Stimulator ($79.99)

BestVibe licking tongue vibrator

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone.
  • Steady and consistent licking motion that feels great when combined with plenty of lube. I prefer using the flat side rather than the pointier tip, but your mileage may vary of course.
  • Actually made me cum! The only one of the 4 that did. It was a slow build and I think I’d need to be both very turned on already and quite patient, but it can actually get me there. So that’s nice given that, you know, it’s kinda the entire point of a sex toy.
  • It warms up to 42C in use, which feels really nice.
  • Some of the different pattern settings actually feel good! Knowing how I feel about patterns generally, this was a pleasant surprise.

Cons

  • It’s a giant disembodied tongue. It has VEINS and everything. This toy feels the best of the four by far, but its aesthetic is nightmare fuel.
  • There is absolutely no universe in which this is a G-spot stimulator. You COULD stick it inside yourself if you wanted, I guess, but the angle and type of stimulation is all wrong to do anything to a G-spot.
  • The silicone is very grabby. This means it’s prone to picking up lint and dust and such. It also means you’ll need a LOT of lube to have a good time.
  • Squeaky as fuck.

Verdict

Surprising no-one more than me, this one is actually the winner! A respectable 7/10.

This post was sponsored by BestVibe. My readers can enjoy 20% off all products in their store by using code “coffee” at checkout! All writing and views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Velvet Thruster Sex Machine Review (Frankie Attachment)

I get asked about sex machines all the time, but I rarely get an opportunity to try them out. They’re often ludicrously expensive and manufacturers are, understandably, reticent about sending them out to reviewers as a result. This means that most of my experiences with them have been one-offs at parties or play events.

This month, though, I received the Velvet Thruster Sex Machine from Velvet Brands to try, and I’m excited to tell you all about it!

Velvet Thruster sex machine with Frankie attachment in mint green

What is a Sex Machine, Anyway?

In short, a sex machine is any mechanical device designed to simulate sexual activity. This means that, in an expansive definition, pretty much any motorised sex toy could be considered a sex machine. However, in practice, the term usually describes penetrative toys that have a thrusting mechanism for simulating penis-in-vagina (or penis-in-anus) sex. Another term for these toys is “fucking machines.”

Meet the Velvet Thruster

Velvet Brands is an American pleasure products company, and Velvet Thruster is perhaps the company’s most well-known and sought after line of products.

The Velvet Thruster is a thrusting, cordless sex machine. It allows you to use various, interchangeable heads with one unit. There are currently six penetrative silicone attachments available, plus one penis stroker attachment. Velvet Thrusters are also available in four colours – lilac, mint green, red, and black – so you can choose your favourite or mix and match.

I received the Frankie attachment, which is a dildo 10″ in length (7″ insertable, bringing the entire toy to a whopping 12″ in length) and 1.2″ in diameter, with four deep ridges on the shaft just below the head.

Frankie thrusting dildo for Velvet Thruster sex machine

The Velvet Thruster comes with a suction cup, allowing you to affix it to a surface for hands-free use. A charging cable is also included.

Confusingly, the Velvet site describes the toy as “water resistant” but it’s definitely not waterproof enough to submerge it. So don’t use it the bath or shower, or in a wet environment such as a bathroom. You shouldn’t submerge the toy to clean it, either – use a body-safe sterile wipe instead.

What I Like About the Velvet Thruster Frankie

Danyell and Alex, the founders of Velvet Brands and designers of the Velvet Thruster, both come from an engineering background, working for organisations like Honeywell, Airbus, and NASA. It is unsurprising, then, that their patented toy is thoughtfully designed and built to exacting standards.

Though it’s pretty large compared to your typical dildo or vibrator, the Velvet Thruster is at the smaller end of the sex machine market. So if you want a thrusting product you can theoretically take with you on date nights/to sex clubs/through airport security, you’ve found it.

Velvet Thruster fucking machine

The Velvet Thruster’s exterior is silicone, which is not only body-safe but (appropriately) velvety soft and smooth. The pronounced ridges on the Frankie attachment offer an unusual and intense sensation. Be aware that you’ll definitely need lube with this one – it’s always a good idea with penetrative toys anyway, and the Velvet Thruster’s silicone is a little grabby if not properly lubricated.

As I’ve already mentioned, the ability to change the Velvet Thruster’s head is very welcome as it means you can enjoy multiple different sensations without needing to rebuy the whole unit. Far more cost-effective and sustainable. I only have one attachment so I haven’t tried changing them personally, but other reviews suggest it’s pretty quick and simple.

This machine can thrust at up to an impressive 136 strokes per minute. If (like me) this sounds too intense for you, don’t worry. It has six different speed settings, so you can choose the one that’s right for you. The Velvet Thruster’s 3.2″ of thrust might not be enough for folks who prefer very deep penetration, but for me it was just about perfect as I find anything too deep to be painful. I don’t want to be prodded in the cervix, thanks.

I like the Velvet Thruster’s semi-firm silicone for similar reasons. It’s rigid enough to get a satisfying “fucking” sensation, but not so rigid that it’s uncomfortable in use. The Frankie attachment is pleasingly flexible in its top 3″, allowing for easier positioning and targeting of the spots that work for you.

The included suction cup adds lots of different interesting possibilities. You can mount your Thruster to all kinds of surfaces (walls, floors, windows… hey, I’m not judging!) and enjoy it hands-free. And the suction cup is seriously strong, so you don’t need to worry about the toy coming unstuck in use.

By far my favourite way to use the Velvet Thruster, though, is to have a partner use it on me while I use a small vibrator on my clit.

The Velvet Thruster’s battery life is also frankly incredible, giving you something like 8 hours of use on a single full charge. In a world where most rechargeable sex toys offer 1-2 hours, maybe 3 hours if you’re really lucky, 8 is absolutely amazing.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

By far the biggest downside of the Velvet Thruster sex machine is that it’s large and heavy. This can make it tricky to use by yourself, particularly if positioning or holding heavy toys is difficult for you. I suspect the long-reach handle accessory would make solo use much easier. I’m seriously considering investing in one for this reason.

The controls are also slightly annoying. The machine has bidirectional speed controls, which is a big positive. But for some reason you have to press the main on/off button twice to actually switch the toy off. The first press reduces the speed down to the lowest setting, but doesn’t switch it off. This could be problematic if you need to stop quickly, especially because the main on/off button is actually quite fiddly and difficult to press.

The only other thing I don’t like is the noise, which is a sort of high-pitched repetitive whine. To be fair to Velvet, though, I’ve never encountered a thrusting toy that didn’t make basically this same noise. I think it might just be an unfortunate but unavoidable downside of the genre.

Verdict: Worth the Money?

Like any sex machine, the Velvet Thruster is expensive. Prices range from $246-$300 (or £204-£245 on the UK site) for a preconfigured machine, depending on which head you choose. Additional attachments range from £38-£61. You can also customise your toy with various accessories and upgrades, such as handles, if you like.

So is the Velvet Thruster sex machine worth it? I’m going to say yes, overall, it’s an excellent product that is fairly and competitively priced for what it is. I know I’ll get plenty of use out of mine!

You can buy Velvet Thruster products directly from the manufacturer.

Thanks to Velvet Brands for sending me this product to review. All opinions and experiences are, as ever, my own. Affiliate links appear within this post.

Review: Bestvibe CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

Happy new year, friends! 2022 was a rough one and I’m not naive enough to say “2023 is going to be my year!” We’re all still facing ongoing challenges due to *gestures vaguely at everything*. Personally, I’ll be satisfied if 2023 reaches the bar of “better than 2022.”

With that said, it’s time to dive into my very first review of the new year: the CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo from Bestvibe.

Bestvibe CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

Bestvibe approached me right before the holidays to ask if I’d be interested in reviewing any of their products. Since I get asked about recommendations for both realistic toys and thrusting toys all the time, I thought I’d choose this one, which ticks both of those boxes.

CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

The CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo is designed to closely resemble a bio-cock. It is impressively detailed, with a veined shaft, textured balls, a pronounced head, and even skin texturing at the base of the head. If you’re looking for a highly detailed realistic toy without breaking the bank, look no further.

The CYRUS measures 9″ from base to tip, of which 7″ is insertable length, and 1.59″ in diameter at the widest point. This makes it a little larger than the average factory-installed penis, but not scarily huge. Due to the internal mechanisms and dense silicone, it weighs in at a hefty 490g. It features a suction cup base, allowing for hands-free play or harness compatibility for strap-on sex.

CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

The CYRUS is made of body-safe silicone. Since the texture is quite similar to some TPE/TPR toys I’ve handled, I flame tested it to be sure, and I’m pleased to say it’s definitely silicone. (The lack of any discernible smell also tipped me off that it’s real silicone.) Body safety is often sacrificed in favour of “real feel” materials when it comes to realistic toys, so I’m always delighted to find safe, non-porous alternatives.

The CYRUS is IPX5 waterproof, meaning it can withstand a sustained, low-pressure spray of water such as that from a home tap. This means you can safely get your toy wet to wash it, but shouldn’t submerge it in water. It is rechargeable via the included cable and comes with a battery-operated remote control (1 x 27A 12V battery is included.)

The CYRUS retails for a very reasonable $77 and is currently on sale at $66.

Settings and Controls

There are two ways to control the CYRUS: via the button on the base or via the remote control. Using the button, you’ll be able to scroll through 9 different patterns of vibration and their corresponding inbuilt thrusting patterns (there are 3 different thrusting patterns.)

CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

With the remote, you can enjoy a much finer level of control, pairing any of the 3 thrusting and rotating modes with any of the 9 vibration patterns for a completely customisable experience. You can also use either the vibrations or thrusting separately, if you like.

The button on the base of the toy is a little stiff and requires quite a firm press. The buttons on the remote control, on the other hand, are easy to press. The toy’s responsiveness to the remote is fast and reliable, and the range of the remote is 10 metres.

In Use

The CYRUS’s realistic design is ideal for users looking for the most lifelike experience possible from a toy. The shaft is rigid most of the way along, though the soft and squishy head (the last inch or so) really makes a positive difference from a comfort and ease of use perspective. The pronounced and ridged head is ideal for G-spotting.

I also really love the dual density feel. This means that the toy has a firm core on the inside, and a softer layer on the outside. Like an erect penis, in other words!

The CYRUS’s thrusting mechanism feels amazing in use. If you have a vulva and enjoy dual stimulation, try using it hands-free (or asking a partner to use it on you) and pairing it with your favourite clitoral vibe. I actually prefer to use the thrusting mode alone, because I’m not the biggest fan of internal vibrations. Though it’s far too large for me to have tried it in this way personally, the CYRUS is also anal-safe if that’s your jam.

One of my favourite features of the CYRUS is its “warming” function. Press the little flame icon on the remote, and the toy will warm to 38℃ (just very slightly above human body temperature). This really enhances the experience if you’re looking for a toy that feels as realistic as possible. Instead of cool silicone, you can mimic the natural warmth you’d feel with a partner’s cock.

CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

The CYRUS’s silicone is quite “grabby” due to its matte texture. Therefore, I’d really recommend using plenty of lubricant for a comfortable experience. Any water-based lube will work. It will also pick up dust and lint in storage, so give it a quick wipe before each use.

The vibrations aren’t massively strong and are a little buzzy, but they are concentrated in the head of the toy. If you like really powerful G-spot vibrations, this one might not be for you. But if you’re happy with gentler vibes (or mainly here for the thrusting function, as I was) this shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Volume-wise, the vibrations are very quiet. The thrusting mode isn’t exactly loud, but it does have a very distinctive sound that’s best described as a repetitive, high-pitched whirr. The suction cup is strong and stays in place well on every surface I’ve tried it on.

Verdict

I really like this one! If I’m honest, realistic dildos aren’t often my thing, aesthetically speaking. I tend to prefer more abstract, colourful (and occasionally glittery) designs. But functionally, it absolutely gets the job done and comes with some great extra features. If I was going to recommend one body-safe, realistic toy that is very reasonably priced, it might be this one.

Thanks to Bestvibe for sending me the CYRUS to review. All views are, as always, my own. This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write an honest review.

[Toy Review] Blowmotion Pulse Vibration Masturbator

Update 04/03/22: this product has been discontinued.

Happy December, gang! Today is the first day of a very special project I’m working on with my friends at Lovehoney. It’s called the #12DaysofLovehoney and every day from today until December 11th, I’ll be bringing you a new product review. On the 12th, there will be an opportunity to win an exciting prize!

First up is the Blowmotion Pulse Vibration, a masturbator for people with penises. Being the good sport he is, my stunt cock Mr CK had ample input into this review. Let’s get started.

What is the Blowmotion Pulse Vibration?

Blowmotion is a range of toys for penis owners exclusively available at Lovehoney. I received the Blowmotion Pulse Vibration masturbator, which looks like this:

The Blowmotion Pulse Vibration masturbator

It is 6 inches long in total, but the canal (the bit where the penis goes) is only about two inches deep. Powered by electro-magnetic technology, it is designed to deliver stimulation to the head of the penis (the most sensitive part for a lot of people).

The Blowmotion arrived in a sleek black and green box – the packaging wouldn’t be out of place housing a fancy gadget or a high-end aftershave. The toy is also black with green accents. It’s smart and masculine without being aggressively MANLY.

The Blowmotion is USB rechargeable and I got about 40 minutes of play out of a full charge. Passable, but not great. It is made of smooth and body-safe silicone, which is a very welcome change from penis toys made from gross jelly materials and porous TPE! The silicone on one side of the canal is stretchy, allowing for comfortable insertion. Just remember to use plenty of water-based lube.

Settings and controls

The Blowmotion Pulse Vibration features two forms of stimulation: standard vibrations, and the thrusting motion that gave it its name. Settings are controlled via 3 buttons: the middle button switches the toy on and off, the top one controls the thrusting, and the bottom one controls the vibrations.

The Blowmotion Pulse Vibration masturbator

There are 7 thrusting modes (3 speeds and 4 patterns) and 14 vibration modes (5 speeds and 9 patterns). Since you can control them separately, you can use them in any combination you wish, including leaving either one switched off entirely. The versatility is impressive and makes the toy more likely to be friendly to a range of bodies.

The buttons are a little small and fiddly. I also found that the setting didn’t always change reliably – sometimes I had to press a button twice. And having to scroll through 7 or 14 settings if you accidentally miss the one you like? Yeah, that’s annoying.

How did it feel?

Though we were initially impressed with the look and luxurious feel of the Blowmotion, we found it disappointing in practice. Since the thrusting motion is concentrated in the base of the toy, Mr CK reported that he could hardly feel it. I stuck my fingers in it and switched it on to get an idea of the sensation, and was similarly underwhelmed. The vibrations are okay, but pretty buzzy and nothing to write home about, power-wise.

The Blowmotion Pulse Vibration masturbator

This toy is also not ideal if you like a lot of attention paid to your shaft as opposed to just the head of your penis. Since it’s only 2 inches deep, it’s really a head-only toy. If you prefer all stimulation focused there, you might find the Blowmotion Pulse Vibration ideal. Otherwise, it probably won’t do much for you.

It’s also worth noting that if you’re above average in the girth department, the Blowmotion might be uncomfortable for you to use. The canal is fairly narrow and that little bit of stretch will only get you so far.

Mr CK wasn’t able to get anywhere close to orgasm with it, and we’re unlikely to use it again.

Final thoughts

While we loved the idea of the Blowmotion, it just doesn’t really deliver in practice. In my opinion, it’s not worth the £74.99 pricetag. You’ll be better off buying a wand and a masturbator attachment.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this and all toy review posts. Want to support the blog? Buying me a coffee is a great way to do that!

[Toy Review] Happy Rabbit Thrusting Realistic Rabbit Vibrator

This review is my first post of #Smutathon2018: #SmutForChoice Edition. Please donate to our page for Abortion Support Network, and don’t forget to leave your email address or Twitter handle so we can enter you into the raffle to win some awesome sex toys! Now on to the review…

A Thrusting Vibrator?

I have a complicated relationship with rabbit vibrators – I occasionally find one I love, often find one I hate, and am frequently quite indifferent to this whole category of toys. The main reason for my struggle with dual stimulation toys is that I just don’t like vibrations inside my vagina. My G-spot, as I have mentioned previously, either wants to be pounded, caressed or left alone – never vibrated. (Coming up later will be a guide to choosing a rabbit, so look out for that!) So when I saw that Lovehoney’s new line of Happy Rabbit vibrators includes a rabbit with a shaft that thrusts rather than vibrates, I simply had to try it out.

The Thrusting Happy Rabbit standing up on a wooden dresser.Bunny Bits ‘n’ Bobs

The Thrusting Happy Rabbit is one of seven toys in Lovehoney’s new Happy Rabbit range. It’s quite a large toy at 9 inches in total length, 4.75″ of which is insertable, and a diameter of 1.5″.

There are two control buttons, one to control the thrusting motion and one to control the clitoral vibrations in the ears. The one-button control for the vibrations is annoying, as you have to scroll all the way through in order to go back to a previous setting. Toy designers: up and down buttons, please!  I do also wish it wasn’t quite so pink.

The Thrusting Rabbit is fully waterproof, and is USB rechargeable, giving a decent 120 minutes play time from a 150-minute charge.

A hopping good time

A gif of the Thrusting Happy Rabbit in action.

I admit I looked at this toy and gulped – I normally need a good amount of warm-up to take something this size internally. Thankfully, apparently “haven’t had an orgasm in a few days” + “lube” = sufficient warm-up.

What surprised me even more was that it brought me to orgasm in under five minutes!

The thrusting motion feels amazing. There are three different speeds of thrusting motion to choose from. I preferred the slowest speed, but as ever your mileage may vary.

Can we just acknowledge that our Air BnB has INCREDIBLE lighting for photographing sex toys?

The “ears” are thick and firm, and have a massive fifteen different vibration settings. They’re not the most powerful vibrations you’ll ever find, but they were more than sufficient to get me off. The clitoral arm has some flexibility, so you can maneuver it to fit with your body.

The main downside in this toy, for me, is the sound. It’s not exactly loud – my partner couldn’t hear it from the next room with the door shut – but the thrusting motion sort of… squeaks? It wasn’t distracting enough to stop me enjoying all the good points of this product, but if you’re very sensitive to sounds (particularly higher pitched sounds) it’s something to be aware of.

Materials & Cleaning

The entire Happy Rabbit range are made from body-safe, non-porous, phthalate-free silicone. A far cry from the horrible jelly things that everyone went mad for after that episode of Sex & the City aired 20 years ago!

As the Thrusting Rabbit is completely waterproof, clean-up is a breeze. Just use some warm water and gentle soap for a thorough clean. For a quick clean between uses, a body-safe sterile wipe will work just fine.

A word of caution on cleaning: due to the creases in the thrusting mechanism, germs and bacteria can easily get trapped in there. Take extra care around these folds to make sure you get all bodily fluids and lube out.

The insertable part of this toy is condom-compatible. As ever, water-based lube is recommended.

So did the Thrusting Rabbit make me happy?

Yes! If, like me, you enjoy dual stimulation but don’t want internal vibrations, this toy is a great choice for you.

It is on the pricier side, retailing for £79.99 ($119.99 US.) However, it’s cheaper than Fun Factory, probably the most popular thrusting vibes on the market right now, and much cheaper than a fucking machine. So if you want a good quality thrusting toy, this is a really great option.

Thank you to Lovehoney for sending me the Thrusting Happy Rabbit in exchange for an honest review. If you purchase through any of my affiliate links, I make a small commission – however, any affiliate income made this weekend (Saturday 11/Sunday 12 August) will be donated to Abortion Support Network!