[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Ciro Dual Stimulation Vibrator

Tracy’s Dog are becoming a regular feature on this site as they’re currently putting out new products at an impressive rate, such as the recently launched Ciro – a dual stimulation vibrator with thrusting, licking, and vibrating motions – which I received to review this month.

Let’s take a look and find out how I got on with this latest offering.

Oh, and don’t forget to use my exclusive code coffee15 to get 15% off your purchase of the Ciro or any other Tracy’s Dog product.

What is the Ciro Dual Stimulation Vibrator?

The Ciro by Tracy’s Dog is a vaguely C-shaped dual stimulation clitoral and G-spot toy. The insertable portion both thrusts and vibrates, while the clitoral stimulator is a firm ball that rotates and vibrates. This toy’s insertable length is around 6″, and its diameter is around 1.4″ at the widest point.

Tracy's Dog Ciro dual stimulation vibrator

It is made of silicone in the signature purple shade that Tracy’s Dog use for many of their toys, and has a gold coloured plastic accent panel for the two buttons.

In the sturdy, magnetic-close box, you’ll also find the charging cable, a drawstring storage bag, two sachets of Tracy’s Dog lube (which I won’t be using because it contains glycerin and disodium EDTA, but YMMV), the instruction manual, a warranty card, and some stickers.

The Ciro is IPX6 waterproof, making it suitable for use in the shower. However, it’s not submersible, so don’t take it in the bath or dunk it in a sink of water to clean it! It is also rechargeable via the included magnetic cable. I’ll talk more about the charging and battery life a bit later on.

What I Liked About the Ciro

I was immediately intrigued by this unusual design and combination of features. Yet another boring iteration of a generic rabbit vibrator this is not! It’s nice to see something a bit different in the form of the round, rotating clitoral stimulator.

Tracy's Dog Ciro dual stimulation vibrator

But how did it actually perform?

Let’s look at the things I liked about the Ciro.

  • Many dual stimulation vibrator designs treat clitoral stimulation as an afterthought (I’ve ranted about this before.) The Ciro does not. The rotating clitoral stimulator is just… really, really good, to be honest. It’s completely different to the traditional “bunny ears” design and I love it. It does not feel like “licking”, but it feels like having my clit massaged in circles with just the right amount of pressure. Yes. (Pro tip: lube makes this feel about 10,000 times better.)
  • The wavy ridges on the sides of the shaft will appeal to fans of texture. I like that I can feel them in use, but they’re not too intense.
  • The flexible hinge between the insertable shaft and the clitoral stimulator make it easy to position the toy in a way that works for your body. It also means it’s relatively easy to keep the clitoral stimulator in the right place during use (a major drawback of many rabbit toys is that it’s almost impossible to position both portions of the toy in the right way at the same time.)
  • The rigid shaft provides firm internal pressure, while the slight squishiness of the head is comfortable against my G-spot.
Tracy's Dog Ciro dual stimulation vibrator

  • I like the relatively short thrust. Toys with long thrusts are often painful for me, risking poking me in the cervix (ouch. Ow. No.) Its motion feels more like a “come hither” than hard pounding, which is vastly preferable in my book.
  • Even the lowest thrusting speed is pretty intense! This isn’t one for those who prefer very slow strokes, but ideal for anyone looking for fast thrusting.
  • The three thrusting speeds and 7 patterns, plus 3 clitoral stimulation speeds, offer plenty of variety.
  • You can control the internal and external stimulators completely separately, with a simple one-button control for each function.
  • It retails for a relatively affordable £48.36

Overall, this toy is pretty intense. Even on the lower thrusting speed, with both parts switched on it comes close to feeling overstimulating for me. Which can be fun on occasion! I don’t think I’ll reach for it regularly, but there’s definitely a time and a place for this kind of toy.

What I Didn’t Like

Though it has many good features, there are also a few things about the Ciro that I found frustrating.

Tracy's Dog Ciro clitoral stimulator close up

  • The vibrations are super buzzy. Like… so buzzy. They’re the kind of buzzy that is likely to numb out my clit long before ever getting me off.
  • Related: I wish it was possible to switch the vibrations off. I think I’d really love this toy if I could use the thrusting and rotating functions without the addition of annoying, buzzy vibes.
  • The battery life isn’t great. A full charge takes 150 minutes (2.5 hours) and only gives you 50-60 minutes of runtime.
  • There are, as usual, no dual directional controls. This isn’t so much of an issue for me, as I tend to just choose the settings I like and stick with them. But it’s something to be aware of if you prefer to swap and change between different speeds and settings.
  • Like virtually every thrusting toy I have ever tried, it makes an annoying kind of high-pitched squeaking noise. It’s not particularly loud, but this sound is really grating to me (probably one reason I don’t actually use thrusting toys very often!) It’s also not “whisper quiet”. Companies, stop with this cliché. It’s literally never true.

Ciro Dual Stimulation Vibrator: Verdict

Overall, I like this toy! It’s an innovative design not quite like anything I’ve seen before, and the rotating clitoral stimulator is truly excellent. I also particularly appreciated the shallow thrust depth and separate controls for each of the two parts. Though it does have some flaws, I’ll likely use this one again.

Get the Ciro directly from Tracy’s Dog or from the company’s Amazon store. Remember to use my discount code for 15% off!

Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this review. All views and experiences are, as always, my own.

5 Things to Consider Before You Buy a Sex Machine

Compared to other toy categories such as vibrators, dildos, and strokers, sex machines (AKA fucking machines) are a relatively niche corner of the sex toy market. This is partly due to cost; choosing to buy a sex machine can be a major financial investment, costing hundreds to thousands of dollars. They can also take up a lot of space.

Even so, sex machines have an enduring fan base and seem to have grown in popularity and prevalence in recent years.

A sex machine is simply a machine designed to simulate sex with a partner, particularly penetrative vaginal or anal sex. You attach a toy – such as a dildo or masturbator – to the mechanism, and the machine then thrusts back and forth. Many machines have additional features such as an adjustable angle, adjustable speeds, remote control or app-control functionality, programmable settings, space to add an external vibrator such as a wand, and more.

Many people enjoy sex machines because you can enjoy them hands-free and because they can provide a more immersive, lifelike sensation compared to other types of toys.

So if you’re thinking about making the leap, what do you need to know before you buy a sex machine?

Space Concerns

Sex machines vary in size, but even the smaller ones are much bigger than your typical hand-held sex toy. Before you buy a sex machine, always make sure you have the space for the model you’re considering. This means making sure you have a safe and spacious place to set it up and use it, but also that you have somewhere to store it if you’re not going to have it set up permanently.

If you live in a small apartment, need to be discreet, or have limited storage space available, you might want to consider one of the small sex machine models on the market. Take measurements of your space, and triple check before you click the “buy” button. Don’t forget to think about practicalities such as easy access to a power socket to plug your machine into, too.

Budget

How much a sex machine costs varies enormously. The most basic models can cost under $100, while high end sex machines can run into thousands of dollars. Before you start shopping, decide what kind of budget you’re comfortable with.

In general, cheaper machines will be more basic and have fewer features. However, they might still suit your needs just fine if you’re on a budget. If you’re looking for extras such as remote or app controls or greater levels of personalisation/adjustability, you can expect to pay more.

Don’t forget to account for dildos or other attachments, lube, positioning aids, travel or storage cases, or whatever other extras you might need as well as the machine itself.

Comfort and Positioning

Learning how to use a sex machine comfortably and pleasurably can take some practice. One thing you’ll need to figure out is the most comfortable and practical positions in which to use it.

Many people find that it is easiest to use a sex machine while reclining on their back on a bed, or face down in a “doggy style” position. Others prefer to use another surface such as a couch or spanking bench to achieve the desired position. Positioning aids such as sex furniture, sex position wedges, and sex swings can also be a great option, as can add-ons for your machine designed to adjust its height or angle to suit you.

Before you buy a sex machine, think about how you will actually use it in practice.

Another aspect of comfort in use is stroke length. This simply means how far back and forth the toy moves when the machine is switched on. A longer stroke length will give you deeper penetration, while a shorter stroke length will give you shallower penetration. Some machines offer adjustable stroke length, while others are fixed at one particular length.

Toy Compatibility

Some sex machines come with a dildo (or several) included. Others don’t have toys included and you will need to buy these separately. Sex machine attachments don’t stop at standard dildos, either. You can also get fantasy toys, ejaculating or squirting dildos, anal toys, masturbation sleeves, and much more.

Your sex machine will be compatible with toys using a certain attachment type, and this can vary between manufacturers and machine models. This may mean you won’t be able to use your existing toys with your new sex machine, or you may need to buy an adaptor to enable you to do so. Always check before you buy a sex machine to make sure that your toys are compatible or that you can get toys that will work for you and fit your chosen machine.

Whatever toys you choose, make sure you opt for body-safe materials. 100% silicone is best!

Aesthetic

You might not care at all what your sex machine looks like. On the other hand, you might care a lot! Perhaps you want a machine that feels like “you”, or something that ties in with the decor of your bedroom, home dungeon, or other playspace.

Sex machines are available in numerous different designs and colours. So whether you’re looking for sleek black or silver, hot pink, or something more unusual like red, gold or blue, there’s sure to be a machine that suits your preferred aesthetic.

Ready to Buy a Sex Machine?

Hismith, whose links are included within this post, sell sex machines of various sizes and designs, at a range of prices from $95 up to $1999. They also sell dildos, masturbators, anal toys, and various other attachments and accessories to go with their machines. Check out their extensive catalogue of products!

Thanks to Hismith for sponsoring this post! All views and writing, as always, are mine.

[Toy Reviews] Funzze 3-in-1 Sucking & Flapping Thrusting Triple Stimulator

We might be coming to the end of Black Friday/Cyber Monday weekend, but the sex toy deals aren’t over yet! Funzze, who have kindly sponsored this post, have a series of discounts that increase depending on how much you spend:

  • 40% off orders $80+ with code: BF40
  • 30% off orders $50+ with code: BF30
  • 20% off orders $30+ with code: BF20
Funzze 2024 Black Friday banner
Banner: Funzze

In all cases, just enter the code at checkout to get your discount up until 2 December.

With that said, let’s get into today’s review of Funzze’s 3-in-1 triple stimulator vibrator/sucker/thruster.

What is the Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator Vibrator?

The Funzze 3-in-1 Sucking & Flapping Thrusting Vibrator (hereafter the Funzze 3-in-1 for the sake of brevity) is a triple stimulator that offers three different ways to use it. Its head end features a clitoral suction stimulator on one side and, on the reverse side, this same motor allows the flat surface to make a “tapping” motion. At the other end, the toy’s handle is also an insertable dildo with a thrusting mechanism.

Funzze triple stimulator official product picture to show clitoral suction and tapping motions
Image: Funzze

The Funzze 3-in-1 is made of body-safe silicone and available in either purple or green. It is IPX-6 waterproof (suitable for use in the shower and for cleaning under the tap, but not fully submersible) and USB rechargeable. It measures around 7.5″ in total length, 3.5″ in insertable length.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator shown in purple and green
Image: Funzze

What I Liked About the Funzze 3-in-1

There’s a common problem with sex toys that try to do too many different things: they do none of them particularly well. Happily, this isn’t the case with the Funzze 3-in-1. Let’s talk about the things I liked about this triple stimulator.

  • The clitoral suction part performs well. It is moderately intense on the lowest setting and very intense on the higher ones. One thing to be aware of is that the nozzle is on the smaller side, so if you have a larger clit that might be something to be aware of. But if you enjoy serious focused clitoral stimulation, this toy will likely work well for you.
  • The tapping function is genuinely excellent. The stimulation it provides offers the depth and intensity of very rumbly vibrations. Even the lowest speed feels surprisingly intense, particularly for a toy at this price-point.
  • The construction of the toy feels sturdy. I can press it firmly against my body and get plenty of pressure without feeling like I’m going to damage it.
  • I kind of like that the suction and tapping functions operate off the same motor. This means you can switch between the two in a second, just by turning it around.
Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator in purple with buttons illuminated in blue

  • The two motors – suction/tapping and thrusting – are controllable separately. They can also be used together, though I can’t think of any reason you’d want to that doesn’t defy the laws of physics!
  • The controls are simple and intuitive, and the buttons are easy to press.
  • The thrusting part has quite a short “length” – only maybe an inch or two of thrust. This won’t work for everyone, of course, but for those who (like me) enjoy penetration but often find deep thrusting more painful than pleasurable, it’s a great choice.
  • With 10 thrusting speeds and 10 sucking/tapping intensity levels, it’s a truly customisable experience with numerous options for different users and different preferences.
  • It comes with a storage bag included.
  • The retail price of $42.99 (that’s around £34) is exceptional value for the quality.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There’s one main thing I don’t like about the Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulator: the noise. Whichever way you’re using it, this thing is loud. Both the loud buzz of the head end and the back-and-forth squeak of the thruster are really offputting and grating to me. Which is a shame in a product that I otherwise liked so much.

Funzze triple stimulator 3-in-1 vibrator

My other criticism is the lack of dual-directional controls. Whichever of the toy’s three functions I’m using, it would be nice to be able to scroll through the speeds in either direction.

Funzze 3-in-1 Triple Stimulator: Verdict

Overall, the Funzze 3-in-1 is a much better product than many of the “multiple things in one” options on the market. The clitoral suction stimulator does its job well, and the thrusting function is gentle enough that I can actually use it. It’s that glorious tapping function, though, that really elevates this one for me.

A surprising winner. Good job, Funzze!

The Funzze 3-in-1 triple stimulator retails for $42.99.

Thanks to Funzze for sponsoring this review! This means they paid me to test the toy and write an honest account of my experience. All views, as always, are mine.

Thrusting Sex Toys: What, Why, and How to Choose The Right One for You

Based on how often I get asked for recommendations and how many companies are now making them, thrusting sex toys are seriously popular. That’s why I was excited to team up with AcmeJoy to bring you this guide on all things thrusting dildos, thrusting butt plugs, sex machines, and much more!

What Are Thrusting Sex Toys?

Thrusting toys are toys containing a motor that allow them to make a back-and-forth motion without the user needing to thrust manually. In other words, they mimic the feeling of penetrative sex with a partner.

Who Are Thrusting Sex Toys For?

In short, anyone who enjoys the sensation of having something thrusting into them. Most thrusting toys are aimed primarily at people with vulvas, but many of them are also totally safe to use anally, if that’s your thing. You could even use one orally, if you wanted.

A lot of people opt for thrusting toys as opposed to manual toys because, depending on the exact design and configuration, you can often use them hands-free. This both provides an experience that is more akin to having penetrative sex with a partner, and also frees up your hands to do other things.

What Kind of Thrusting Toys Are There?

There are numerous kinds of thrusting toys on the market. Search “thrusting” on any large sex toy retailer’s site and you’ll likely be met with at least a few different options. In this section I’ve broken down the main four categories of thrusting toys, though there is a lot of variation within each of these.

Some thrusting toys also vibrate, others don’t. Some offer different “patterns” of thrusting as well as the simple back-and-forth. Others feature rotating, heating, or other additional types of stimulation that you can play with. And, if you’re willing to pay a bit extra, you can even get thrusting toys that are app-controlled.

Sex Machines

Sex machines, AKA fucking machines, are large and usually freestanding devices that have a thrusting arm with a dildo or other toy attached. Fucking machines are popular, but they are also generally very expensive. And, for those with limited storage space or who are concerned about discretion, they’re pretty large and obvious. They can also be quite loud.

Thrusting Dildos

Thrusting dildos are like smaller, handheld versions of fucking machines. They come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, may or may not vibrate as well as thrusting, and may have other features such as balls or a suction cup.

Thrusting Rabbits

Thrusting rabbits are toys with a vibrating arm for clitoral stimulation and an insertable arm that thrusts. They are a popular alternative to traditional rabbit vibrators for those who enjoy a thrusting sensation internally rather than vibrations. (Though they do sometimes vibrate as well.)

Thrusting Anal Toys

Thrusting anal toys seem to be gaining in popularity. This category includes things like thrusting butt plugs and thrusting prostate massagers.

Thrusting Masturbators

Finally, we have thrusting masturbators for people with penises. These toys envelop part or all of your penis, then move up and down it in a thrusting motion designed to mimic the feeling of having penetrative sex with a partner.

How to Choose the Right Thrusting Toy for You

With so many thrusting sex toys on the market, how do you know which one to choose? There are a few factors you might want to take into consideration.

You may already have an idea whether you are looking for a toy for your vagina, penis, anus, or some combination of the above. First, always choose a toy made of a body-safe material. For a thrusting toy, this likely means 100% silicone. Avoid anything made of gel, jelly, rubber, PVC, latex, TPE/TPR, soft plastic, and so on. The one exception to this is that TPE/TPR is okay for external-only toys (e.g. penis masturbators) as long as you don’t expect them to last forever. If you are going to use the toy anally, it must also have a flared base for safety.

Next, think about the size and shape that works for you. Despite what certain marketing claims and mainstream porn will tell you, bigger isn’t always better when it comes to penetrative toys. Instead of choosing the most enormous toy you can find, think about what sort of size is likely to actually work for you. Don’t forget about the length of the trust, too. Some people enjoy long and deep thrusting, while others find it painful or uncomfortable. If you’re in the latter category, a toy with a shorter thrust length will work better. In terms of shape and design, do you want heavily textured, slightly textured, or smooth? Curved or straight?

Aesthetics can be important, too. Do you want a realistic, semi-realistic, or non-realistic toy? If you’re going for realism, do you want the toy to match your or your partner’s skin tone as closely as possible or don’t you care? If you’re going for non-realistic, what kinds of colours or styles appeal to you instead?

Finally, think about what additional features are important to you. Do you want a warming toy for a more realistic experience? Are you willing to pay extra for remote control or app control functionality? Do you want a suction cup, a harness-compatible base, vibrations?

As with choosing any type of toy, getting to know your own body and preferences will help you to choose the best thrusting sex toys for you. Reading reviews is also a great way to understand more about how different toys function and what users like and dislike about them.

Thanks to AcmeJoy for sponsoring this post. All writing and views are, as always, mine.

[Toy Review] The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator

This is the third in my series of reviews for new brand The One. These toys are available exclusively at Sex Toys UK here in the UK, while across the pond they’re available at retailers such as Babeland and Good Vibes. Next on the list is The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator.

Those who read my work regularly will know that I have a mixed relationship with rabbit vibrators. I’ve tried a few I liked and a lot I didn’t, but I very rarely reach for them as a preference. With that in mind, let’s find out how I got on with the Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator from The One.

The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator: Details

The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator

The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator is a toy in the classic “rabbit vibe” style. Its total length is 9.5″, its insertable length is around 5.5″, and its diameter is 1.5″ at the widest point. Its clitoral stimulator consists of two flexible ears.

The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator is USB rechargeable and waterproof. It is made of body-safe and non-porous silicone.

The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator: What I Liked

Before I get into all the things that annoyed me about this toy (and, as you’ll see from the section below, there are a lot!) I tried to find some things to like about it.

The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator close up on rabbit ears clit stimulator

  • The thrusting function is decent. I can feel it consistently, it offers 10 different speed and pattern options, and its relatively short thrusting length is a great option for anyone who enjoys this sensation but does not enjoy getting poked in the cervix.
  • The flexibility of the clitoral stimulator makes it easy to position it correctly for your body.
  • The gentle curve and slight flex to the upper portion of the insertable arm makes the toy more comfortable to use and enables more precise G-spot targeting.
  • You can have the vibrations turned on without the thrusting function, and vice-versa, or you can use them together.

The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator: What I Didn’t Like

My ultimate complaint with this toy, as is so often the case, is just that it’s never going to give me an orgasm. Though I like the thrusting function, the motor is buzzy as hell and the vibrations aren’t particularly strong.

The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator buttons

When are sex toy manufacturers going to understand that for a large majority of people with vulvas, clitoral stimulation isn’t an afterthought? It’s the main event that many, many, many of us require to orgasm.

Other things I didn’t like about The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator include:

  • One day, a company will come up with a way to make a thrusting toy that doesn’t make a horrible high-pitched whining noise. Sadly, today is not that day. Even though I like how thrusting toys feel, I rarely actually use them because this noise is just such an unpleasant sensory experience.
  • Though you can control the vibrations and the thrusting separately, you cannot control the vibrations in the ears and the shaft separately. This is a pretty major problem for anyone who, like me, finds internal vibrations more uncomfortable than pleasurable.
  • The ears are far too flexible and flimsy to give any significant clitoral stimulation. If you like any pressure at all, forget it.
  • The silicone around the base of the shaft is incredibly thin. This means that you can see and feel the mechanisms underneath. More egregiously, though, I’ve used this toy once and I have just discovered a tear in the silicone! That’s a pretty unforgiveable design flaw. It presents a risk of bacteria transfer and seriously calls into question the safety and quality of the entire product.
The One Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator close up on rip in the silicone

  • The rigidity of the lower portion of the insertable arm significantly limits positioning options.
  • It’s so pink. I’m not totally against pink in principle, but it’s massively overused in sex toys. Especially this glaringly bright, eye-hurting, practically-neon shade.
  • The charging time is 150 minutes (two and a half hours) and you only get around 50 minutes of use on a full charge.

Verdict

In and of itself, the One Thrusting Rabbit is an okay but unremarkable thrusting rabbit vibrator. The thrusting function is decent (the noise aside), but the motor is extremely buzzy and the lack of dual controls for the vibrations really pushes this one into more “miss” than “hit” for me. And, of course, the silicone tearing after one use is really, really bad.

It’s also absurdly overpriced at £138.78 from Sex Toys UK and $141.95 from Babeland and Good Vibes.

Skip it. Lovehoney’s Thrusting Happy Rabbit (UK link) is way better, if you’re looking for a thrusting rabbit vibrator specifically.

Thanks to Sex Toys UK for sending me this product to review. All views are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

[Toy Review] YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator

Reviewing penis toys can be a challenge for me, not being in possession of a penis. My nesting partner, Mr C&K, is often willing to assist but was unable to on this occasion. I’d like to extend my thanks to my dear friend SilverDom for lending his penis and opinions to the cause of sex toy reviews.

Now let’s take a look at the Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator from YoYoLemon.

YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator

The YoYoLemon Male Masturbator with Rotating and Thrusting and Female Moans, Realistic Textured Vagina Pocket Pussy (to give it its full and exhausting title!) is a penis masturbator in the typical “hard outer cup, soft inner sleeve” style. Like many other toys of its kind, it wouldn’t look out of place amidst a lineup of high-end kitchen gadgets. It measures a hefty 10.5″ in length and 3.5″ in diameter. The maximum penetration depth is 5.2″.

YoYoLemon thrusting and rotating masturbator

This toy offers both thrusting and rotating functions, as well as audio playing female voices making moaning sounds. I’m equally amused and a little unsettled by the idea of a toy that moans at you as you use it, but I can see how this might be some people’s thing.

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator is rechargeable. A full charge takes 2.5 hours and gives you anything from 30 minutes to 1.5 hours of runtime, depending on the settings you’re using. Confusingly, the packaging states that the toy is “waterproof” but the instructions then warn you not to keep it in the water for long. I have not tested it in water for fear of killing it, but this suggests to me that it’s somewhat water-resistant for cleaning but it definitely wouldn’t be a good idea to use it in the bath or shower.

SilverDom notes that the text on the packaging “reads like it has been run through Google Translate 17 times.” An actual quote: “Do not let go the start of moanin and return to the moanin forward.” The instructions, such that they are, are written in much the same way. Hire an actual translator for your product info, please and thank you.

Materials and Care

The exterior case is made of hard ABS plastic, while the interior is TPE. This internal part is removeable for cleaning. TPE (thermoplastic elastomer) is usually non-toxic, but it is porous. This means that you can never get it truly sterile. The material will harbour bacteria and begin to degrade after a while.

It’s generally fine to use TPE toys for external use, and the vast majority of penis masturbators are made of this material. However, you should throw it away as soon as it starts to split, smell bad, or show any other signs of material degredation. You shouldn’t share a TPE toy, as this can be an STI transmission risk. Wash it with soap and water after each use, and then dust it with a little bit of cornstarch to encourage it to dry out completely.

In Use

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator looks and feels well-built and is heavy in the hand. Most people will likely need two hands to operate it.

YoYoLemon thrusting and rotating masturbator

The inner sleeve is lined with dozens of little nubs to provide additional stimulation, and the opening is “vaguely vulva-shaped.” At first, the opening appears quite small, meaning that if your penis is above average in either length or girth you might worry about whether it’ll fit. Don’t worry, though – this toy is stretchy and with a little water-based lube, will accommodate the majority of penis sizes easily. If you have a slimmer penis, you might find it frustrating as the inner tube is quite wide and doesn’t have the tightest grip. SilverDom reported finding the inner nubs quite rough and not particularly pleasurable.

The toy offers 10 patterns of twisting and thrusting and a single button that cycles through them all. What is lacking, though, is speed control. A scroll wheel or separate buttons would fix this problem. “I found all of the patterns entirely useless to me, largely because I had no control over them. I came frustratingly close to orgasm at least 4 times,” SilverDom says.

There are three buttons on the toy in total. The other two switch it on and off, and control the moaning sounds.

Oh, and those moans? They’re basically low-quality mainstream porn sounds. If this is something you find sexy, fair enough. SilverDom and I both agreed it was mostly weird and distracting. There is a headphone jack if you want to make use of this feature discreetly. The toy’s actual sounds in use are – despite claims to the contrary – also rather loud and distracting.

The YoYoLemon Thrusting and Rotating Masturbator features a suction cup to attach it to a wall or other surface for hands-free use. The suction cup is reasonably sturdy and holds it in place well.

Cleaning is ostensibly easy thanks to the removeable inner part. However, it’s actually quite hard to take apart and put back together. This is made worse by the fact that the tube and entrance are two separate pieces.

Verdict

This one’s more miss than hit, unfortunately. There are just too many problems and design-and-execution flaws for me to really recommend it. Speed controls, a non-porous material, a better designed internal sleeve, and removing or improving the weird moaning function would all vastly improve the quality of this product.

This toy retails for $79.99/£65.99. It might be cheaper than other comparable products on the market, but it’s not really worth the cost saving when there’s such a dip in quality. You can spend just a little more and get something much better.

I’m gonna conclude with SilverDom’s TL/DR: “I don’t think a toy has ever made me feel so sexually frustrated… or with such temporary hearing loss!” Unfortunately, the promised “earth-shaking orgasms” were not forthcoming.

This review was sponsored, which means I was paid to write an honest and unbiased review. All views are mine and the toy tester’s. Pics are by YoYoLemon.

[Toy Review] Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Heating Telescopic & Squirming Dildo

Happy new year, my friends! I hope you’ve had a relaxing holiday season and new year, no matter what you celebrate or don’t. I’m back at work now, which means it’s time to start ploughing through my review queue.

First up, the Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Heating Telescopic & Squirming Dildo, which was kindly sent to me recently. Considering the absolute mouthful of its full name, I’m gonna just call it the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo from here on out. Let’s take a look, shall we?

Lezovibes 6-in-1 Thrusting Dildo

This realistic dildo measures 8.6″ in total length (6.3″ insertable) and offers a thrusting extension of an additional 1.5″. It measures 1.59″ in diameter at the widest point.

The “6-in-1” refers to its 6 key features: thrusting, heating, vibrating, swinging, rotating, and remote-controllability. There’s also a suction cup and large “balls” base, making it harness-compatible if you like.

Lezovibes thrusting dildo heating dildo

The Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo is made of body-safe and non-porous silicone and passes a flame-test. The silicone is extremely matte, so don’t forget to add plenty of water-based lube particularly if you’re using the thrusting function.

This toy is IPX6 waterproof. This means it can withstand jets of water but is not submersible. In other words, clean it under the tap but don’t take it in the bath with you. The remote control is not waterproof.

The Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo is rechargeable via the included USB cable, and a full charge took around 2 hours and gives up to 60 minutes of runtime depending on the settings you’re using.

Things I Like About This Toy

Let’s start with the good. Retailing at a middle-of-the-road $69.99, the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo does have several positive points to recommend it.

Lezovibes thrusting dildo in my hand

  • It does a lot of different things! If you’re newer to toys or just want to get something quite versatile, then a toy with lots of different features is a great choice for you. As mentioned, this thrusting dildo also vibrates, rotates, swings, and heats up. Pretty impressive array of options, there!
  • The outer layer of silicone is squishy and pliable, and the toy has a firm core. This gives a kind of “dual density” effect that more realistically mimics a bio-cock.
  • Speaking of realism, the lifelike aesthetic is great if you like that sort of thing, from the veined shaft to the textured balls and foreskin. To be entirely honest I don’t particularly like that kind of thing, personally. Hyper-realism isn’t really my vibe. However, it appeals to a lot of people and I’m continually getting asked for recommendations for realistic toys.
  • The thrusting function feels great in use. (The swinging function is really just a slight variation on the thrusting and I couldn’t feel much difference between them.)
  • The suction cup is strong and holds the toy firm on a surface, even when the various functions are switched on.
  • The heating function! A sex toy that warms up in use is one of those things you never knew you needed until you try it. I started feeling the warmth around 30 seconds after I switched the heating function on. It heats to 42°C.
  • It has ten different vibrating modes, and the motor is positioned so that the vibrations are concentrated in the head of the toy. For most users, that’s gonna be where you want them.
  • As it has a large base (thanks to the balls and suction cup), this toy is both vaginal-safe and anal-safe.
  • The rigidity makes it great for strap-on sex.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There were also a few issues that let this toy down. They include:

  • The controls are needlessly complicated and confusing. I actually had to email the company because I COULD NOT get mine to work at all and I was convinced I had a dud one for a while. It did eventually start working, but the controls are still far more confusing than they need to be.
  • The button in the base is really, really hard to push in a way that’s extremely annoying. I literally have to use the thumbs of both hands, one on top of the other, to get it going or switch it off.
  • Like all thrusting toys, it makes a high-pitched mechanical whining noise in use. I can’t hold this against Lezovibes in particular, though – even at the premium end of the market, the technology just isn’t there yet to make silent thrusting toys.
  • The vibrations are weak and buzzy.
  • I can’t feel the rotating function at all so I’m not really sure what the point of this is.
  • The remote control’s responsiveness is variable. It responds about 75% of the time in my experience, but that’s a high enough failure rate to be intensely annoying.
  • It’s a little too straight for me. I would have preferred it to have a little more curve and flex.

Verdict

Lezovibes thrusting dildo suction cup dildo attached to black shower tiles

With the acknowledgement that realistic dildos aren’t really my thing (but may well be yours,) I still found quite a few things to like in the Lezovibes Thrusting Dildo. Overall, it’s a mixed bag. Though the many different functions are a good way to explore new sensations, I think this toy is trying to do too many things. It’s better to do fewer things and do them really well than to try to cram every feature under the sun into a single toy.

More than anything, though, please sort out those controls. It’s so needlessly complicated to use and that means people will just end up not using a bunch of the functionalities that make up its main selling points.

Thanks to Lezovibes for sponsoring this review! All views, as ever, are mine.

[Toy Review] Four BestVibe Tongue Vibrators

Tongue vibrators are having a moment in a big way. In our ongoing quest to find a sex toy that feels like receiving cunnilingus (more on that below), companies are coming up with more and more interesting – and occasionally outlandish – variations on the tongue vibrator theme.

BestVibe, who have kindly sponsored a series of posts, have a large array of tongue vibrators in their catalogue. They sent me four to try out, compare and contrast, and ultimately judge for which one is my favourite.

Let’s go.

Selection of BestVibe tongue vibrators in their boxes

A Note on My Review Criteria

I’ve said this before and I’ll repeat it here: there is absolutely no such thing as a toy that genuinely feels like receiving cunnilingus from a partner. (I wish there was, because I would pay serious cash moneys for that product!) It just does not exist. Sex toy technology is not there yet.

Therefore, I will NOT be grading these toys on the extent to which they mimic cunnilingus. That is an unfair and currently impossible standard. Instead, I will grade them on the basis of factors such as:

  • Materials
  • Design and aesthetic
  • Functionality
  • Feel
  • Power
  • Volume
  • Effectiveness (e.g. “did it get me off?”)

I’ll share the pros and cons of each product and give it a score out of 10.

Tongue Vibrator #1: “Rose Low Noise 5 Thrusting & Vibrating 7 Tongue Licking Vibrator” ($39.44)

BestVibe rose vibrator tongue sex toy

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone,
  • It looks like a rose, which is kind of cute.
  • Double-ended toy: features both a tongue for clitoral stimulation and a thrusting shaft for G-spot play.
  • You can use both the features at the same time (great for sharing, I guess, though I can’t quite picture how the physics of that would work in practice) or separately (far more practical.)

Cons

  • The tongue is far too rigid. Even on the lowest setting, it just HURTS. It’s a hard pointy thing flicking back and forth against your clit, and it’s exactly as unpleasurable as that sounds.
  • The thrusting mechanism only moves about an inch and its movement is severely hampered by my vaginal walls when it’s actually inside me.
  • The claim of “low noise” is hilariously untrue. It has the typical whining sound of any thrusting toy and the tongue part makes a distracting sort of buzz/rattle.

Verdict

Bad. 2/10.

Tongue Vibrator #2: Fiona Rose Clit Licking & Vibrating Stimulator Multifunctional Vibrator ($39.99)

BestVibe double ended vibrator rose tongue sex toy

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone.
  • The softer, more flexible tongue actually feels amazing on my clit.
  • The “come hither” motion of the insertable end is excellent for G-spot stimulation.
  • Each end can be controlled separately or used together.
  • The long stem/cord design allows for more flexibility of positioning and more possibilities in using both ends at once if you want to.
  • The flicking tongue end is very quiet when used by itself.

Cons

  • The vibrations are very buzzy.
  • Annoying mechanical whine when the G-spot stimulator is turned on.
  • I’d have preferred fewer patterns and another level or two of continuous “licking.”

Verdict

Surprisingly decent. 6/10.

Tongue Vibrator #3: Beinlove Tongue Lick Rabbit Clitoris Nipple Vibrator ($73.84)

BestVibe rabbit tongue vibrator

Find it here.

Pros

  • The soft, flicking, textured tongue feels fantastic on my clit.
  • Fully waterproof.
  • Comes with two different size suction cups to accommodate different bodies and uses.

Cons

  • Extremely weird and baffling aesthetic. Why does it have a bunny face and ears? How is that necessary? (Have we just inextricably associated rabbits with sex toys now… and can we please stop?)
  • The clear cup part is supposed to provide a seal and stimulate the entire vulva via vacuum suction, but it just… doesn’t. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get a seal. I suspect this might be because I have pubic hair. But if a sex toy relies on the user having no pubic hair in order to use it, then it is a badly designed sex toy.
  • The suction cups don’t attach very well to the main toy. They’re either half falling off, or trapping the tongue so it doesn’t move properly.
  • The noise. Dear god, the whining squeaking noise.
  • The tongue and suction cups, i.e. the parts that actually come into contact with the body, are made of TPE rather than silicone. This is a porous material that will harbour bacteria and degrade over time.

Verdict

Interesting idea, poor execution. 4/10.

Tongue Vibrator #4: Helran 10 Vibrating & 7 Tongue Licking G Spot Stimulator ($79.99)

BestVibe licking tongue vibrator

Find it here.

Pros

  • Made of body-safe silicone.
  • Steady and consistent licking motion that feels great when combined with plenty of lube. I prefer using the flat side rather than the pointier tip, but your mileage may vary of course.
  • Actually made me cum! The only one of the 4 that did. It was a slow build and I think I’d need to be both very turned on already and quite patient, but it can actually get me there. So that’s nice given that, you know, it’s kinda the entire point of a sex toy.
  • It warms up to 42C in use, which feels really nice.
  • Some of the different pattern settings actually feel good! Knowing how I feel about patterns generally, this was a pleasant surprise.

Cons

  • It’s a giant disembodied tongue. It has VEINS and everything. This toy feels the best of the four by far, but its aesthetic is nightmare fuel.
  • There is absolutely no universe in which this is a G-spot stimulator. You COULD stick it inside yourself if you wanted, I guess, but the angle and type of stimulation is all wrong to do anything to a G-spot.
  • The silicone is very grabby. This means it’s prone to picking up lint and dust and such. It also means you’ll need a LOT of lube to have a good time.
  • Squeaky as fuck.

Verdict

Surprising no-one more than me, this one is actually the winner! A respectable 7/10.

This post was sponsored by BestVibe. My readers can enjoy 20% off all products in their store by using code “coffee” at checkout! All writing and views are, as always, my own.

[Toy Review] Velvet Thruster Sex Machine Review (Frankie Attachment)

I get asked about sex machines all the time, but I rarely get an opportunity to try them out. They’re often ludicrously expensive and manufacturers are, understandably, reticent about sending them out to reviewers as a result. This means that most of my experiences with them have been one-offs at parties or play events.

This month, though, I received the Velvet Thruster Sex Machine from Velvet Brands to try, and I’m excited to tell you all about it!

Velvet Thruster sex machine with Frankie attachment in mint green

What is a Sex Machine, Anyway?

In short, a sex machine is any mechanical device designed to simulate sexual activity. This means that, in an expansive definition, pretty much any motorised sex toy could be considered a sex machine. However, in practice, the term usually describes penetrative toys that have a thrusting mechanism for simulating penis-in-vagina (or penis-in-anus) sex. Another term for these toys is “fucking machines.”

Meet the Velvet Thruster

Velvet Brands is an American pleasure products company, and Velvet Thruster is perhaps the company’s most well-known and sought after line of products.

The Velvet Thruster is a thrusting, cordless sex machine. It allows you to use various, interchangeable heads with one unit. There are currently six penetrative silicone attachments available, plus one penis stroker attachment. Velvet Thrusters are also available in four colours – lilac, mint green, red, and black – so you can choose your favourite or mix and match.

I received the Frankie attachment, which is a dildo 10″ in length (7″ insertable, bringing the entire toy to a whopping 12″ in length) and 1.2″ in diameter, with four deep ridges on the shaft just below the head.

Frankie thrusting dildo for Velvet Thruster sex machine

The Velvet Thruster comes with a suction cup, allowing you to affix it to a surface for hands-free use. A charging cable is also included.

Confusingly, the Velvet site describes the toy as “water resistant” but it’s definitely not waterproof enough to submerge it. So don’t use it the bath or shower, or in a wet environment such as a bathroom. You shouldn’t submerge the toy to clean it, either – use a body-safe sterile wipe instead.

What I Like About the Velvet Thruster Frankie

Danyell and Alex, the founders of Velvet Brands and designers of the Velvet Thruster, both come from an engineering background, working for organisations like Honeywell, Airbus, and NASA. It is unsurprising, then, that their patented toy is thoughtfully designed and built to exacting standards.

Though it’s pretty large compared to your typical dildo or vibrator, the Velvet Thruster is at the smaller end of the sex machine market. So if you want a thrusting product you can theoretically take with you on date nights/to sex clubs/through airport security, you’ve found it.

Velvet Thruster fucking machine

The Velvet Thruster’s exterior is silicone, which is not only body-safe but (appropriately) velvety soft and smooth. The pronounced ridges on the Frankie attachment offer an unusual and intense sensation. Be aware that you’ll definitely need lube with this one – it’s always a good idea with penetrative toys anyway, and the Velvet Thruster’s silicone is a little grabby if not properly lubricated.

As I’ve already mentioned, the ability to change the Velvet Thruster’s head is very welcome as it means you can enjoy multiple different sensations without needing to rebuy the whole unit. Far more cost-effective and sustainable. I only have one attachment so I haven’t tried changing them personally, but other reviews suggest it’s pretty quick and simple.

This machine can thrust at up to an impressive 136 strokes per minute. If (like me) this sounds too intense for you, don’t worry. It has six different speed settings, so you can choose the one that’s right for you. The Velvet Thruster’s 3.2″ of thrust might not be enough for folks who prefer very deep penetration, but for me it was just about perfect as I find anything too deep to be painful. I don’t want to be prodded in the cervix, thanks.

I like the Velvet Thruster’s semi-firm silicone for similar reasons. It’s rigid enough to get a satisfying “fucking” sensation, but not so rigid that it’s uncomfortable in use. The Frankie attachment is pleasingly flexible in its top 3″, allowing for easier positioning and targeting of the spots that work for you.

The included suction cup adds lots of different interesting possibilities. You can mount your Thruster to all kinds of surfaces (walls, floors, windows… hey, I’m not judging!) and enjoy it hands-free. And the suction cup is seriously strong, so you don’t need to worry about the toy coming unstuck in use.

By far my favourite way to use the Velvet Thruster, though, is to have a partner use it on me while I use a small vibrator on my clit.

The Velvet Thruster’s battery life is also frankly incredible, giving you something like 8 hours of use on a single full charge. In a world where most rechargeable sex toys offer 1-2 hours, maybe 3 hours if you’re really lucky, 8 is absolutely amazing.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

By far the biggest downside of the Velvet Thruster sex machine is that it’s large and heavy. This can make it tricky to use by yourself, particularly if positioning or holding heavy toys is difficult for you. I suspect the long-reach handle accessory would make solo use much easier. I’m seriously considering investing in one for this reason.

The controls are also slightly annoying. The machine has bidirectional speed controls, which is a big positive. But for some reason you have to press the main on/off button twice to actually switch the toy off. The first press reduces the speed down to the lowest setting, but doesn’t switch it off. This could be problematic if you need to stop quickly, especially because the main on/off button is actually quite fiddly and difficult to press.

The only other thing I don’t like is the noise, which is a sort of high-pitched repetitive whine. To be fair to Velvet, though, I’ve never encountered a thrusting toy that didn’t make basically this same noise. I think it might just be an unfortunate but unavoidable downside of the genre.

Verdict: Worth the Money?

Like any sex machine, the Velvet Thruster is expensive. Prices range from $246-$300 (or £204-£245 on the UK site) for a preconfigured machine, depending on which head you choose. Additional attachments range from £38-£61. You can also customise your toy with various accessories and upgrades, such as handles, if you like.

So is the Velvet Thruster sex machine worth it? I’m going to say yes, overall, it’s an excellent product that is fairly and competitively priced for what it is. I know I’ll get plenty of use out of mine!

You can buy Velvet Thruster products directly from the manufacturer.

Thanks to Velvet Brands for sending me this product to review. All opinions and experiences are, as ever, my own. Affiliate links appear within this post.

Review: Bestvibe CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

Happy new year, friends! 2022 was a rough one and I’m not naive enough to say “2023 is going to be my year!” We’re all still facing ongoing challenges due to *gestures vaguely at everything*. Personally, I’ll be satisfied if 2023 reaches the bar of “better than 2022.”

With that said, it’s time to dive into my very first review of the new year: the CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo from Bestvibe.

Bestvibe CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

Bestvibe approached me right before the holidays to ask if I’d be interested in reviewing any of their products. Since I get asked about recommendations for both realistic toys and thrusting toys all the time, I thought I’d choose this one, which ticks both of those boxes.

CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

The CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo is designed to closely resemble a bio-cock. It is impressively detailed, with a veined shaft, textured balls, a pronounced head, and even skin texturing at the base of the head. If you’re looking for a highly detailed realistic toy without breaking the bank, look no further.

The CYRUS measures 9″ from base to tip, of which 7″ is insertable length, and 1.59″ in diameter at the widest point. This makes it a little larger than the average factory-installed penis, but not scarily huge. Due to the internal mechanisms and dense silicone, it weighs in at a hefty 490g. It features a suction cup base, allowing for hands-free play or harness compatibility for strap-on sex.

CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

The CYRUS is made of body-safe silicone. Since the texture is quite similar to some TPE/TPR toys I’ve handled, I flame tested it to be sure, and I’m pleased to say it’s definitely silicone. (The lack of any discernible smell also tipped me off that it’s real silicone.) Body safety is often sacrificed in favour of “real feel” materials when it comes to realistic toys, so I’m always delighted to find safe, non-porous alternatives.

The CYRUS is IPX5 waterproof, meaning it can withstand a sustained, low-pressure spray of water such as that from a home tap. This means you can safely get your toy wet to wash it, but shouldn’t submerge it in water. It is rechargeable via the included cable and comes with a battery-operated remote control (1 x 27A 12V battery is included.)

The CYRUS retails for a very reasonable $77 and is currently on sale at $66.

Settings and Controls

There are two ways to control the CYRUS: via the button on the base or via the remote control. Using the button, you’ll be able to scroll through 9 different patterns of vibration and their corresponding inbuilt thrusting patterns (there are 3 different thrusting patterns.)

CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

With the remote, you can enjoy a much finer level of control, pairing any of the 3 thrusting and rotating modes with any of the 9 vibration patterns for a completely customisable experience. You can also use either the vibrations or thrusting separately, if you like.

The button on the base of the toy is a little stiff and requires quite a firm press. The buttons on the remote control, on the other hand, are easy to press. The toy’s responsiveness to the remote is fast and reliable, and the range of the remote is 10 metres.

In Use

The CYRUS’s realistic design is ideal for users looking for the most lifelike experience possible from a toy. The shaft is rigid most of the way along, though the soft and squishy head (the last inch or so) really makes a positive difference from a comfort and ease of use perspective. The pronounced and ridged head is ideal for G-spotting.

I also really love the dual density feel. This means that the toy has a firm core on the inside, and a softer layer on the outside. Like an erect penis, in other words!

The CYRUS’s thrusting mechanism feels amazing in use. If you have a vulva and enjoy dual stimulation, try using it hands-free (or asking a partner to use it on you) and pairing it with your favourite clitoral vibe. I actually prefer to use the thrusting mode alone, because I’m not the biggest fan of internal vibrations. Though it’s far too large for me to have tried it in this way personally, the CYRUS is also anal-safe if that’s your jam.

One of my favourite features of the CYRUS is its “warming” function. Press the little flame icon on the remote, and the toy will warm to 38℃ (just very slightly above human body temperature). This really enhances the experience if you’re looking for a toy that feels as realistic as possible. Instead of cool silicone, you can mimic the natural warmth you’d feel with a partner’s cock.

CYRUS Classic Swing&Heat Thrusting Realistic Dildo

The CYRUS’s silicone is quite “grabby” due to its matte texture. Therefore, I’d really recommend using plenty of lubricant for a comfortable experience. Any water-based lube will work. It will also pick up dust and lint in storage, so give it a quick wipe before each use.

The vibrations aren’t massively strong and are a little buzzy, but they are concentrated in the head of the toy. If you like really powerful G-spot vibrations, this one might not be for you. But if you’re happy with gentler vibes (or mainly here for the thrusting function, as I was) this shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Volume-wise, the vibrations are very quiet. The thrusting mode isn’t exactly loud, but it does have a very distinctive sound that’s best described as a repetitive, high-pitched whirr. The suction cup is strong and stays in place well on every surface I’ve tried it on.

Verdict

I really like this one! If I’m honest, realistic dildos aren’t often my thing, aesthetically speaking. I tend to prefer more abstract, colourful (and occasionally glittery) designs. But functionally, it absolutely gets the job done and comes with some great extra features. If I was going to recommend one body-safe, realistic toy that is very reasonably priced, it might be this one.

Thanks to Bestvibe for sending me the CYRUS to review. All views are, as always, my own. This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write an honest review.