[Toy Review] Lovehoney Best Night Ever Couple’s Sex Toy Kit

It’s already day ten of the #12DaysofLovehoney project! After today, I have just one more review to publish and then the very special giveaway coming on Saturday. Today, we’re looking at Lovehoney’s “Best Night Ever” Couple’s Sex Toy Kit.

Oh, and while you’re here, check out the whole series!

What’s in the Box and Who Is It For?

The Best Night Ever kit is one of Lovehoney’s sex toy bundles. It includes five toys:

  • Vibrating silicone butt plug
  • Silver bullet vibe
  • Stretchy silicone cock ring that can be used with or without the bullet vibrator
  • Finger vibrator
  • Reversible penis stroker
Box of Lovehoney Best Night Ever sex toy kit for couples

This kit is designed for a couple consisting of a person with a penis and a person with a vulva. (The packaging and ad copy does, sadly, use gendered language along the “for him” and “for her” lines.) So bear that in mind as we proceed with the review. I’d love to see Lovehoney come out with some additional, similar kits that are geared at couples with two penis owners or two vulva owners!

Sex toys for couples in Lovehoney Best Night Ever kit

I thought I’d look at each item in turn, and then at the set as a whole.

Silicone Butt Plug

This is probably the best item in the kit from a quality point of view. It’s a little over 5″ in length, of which 4″ are insertable. It tapers to a narrow tip, making it comfortable to insert, and the silicone base makes it both body-safe and comfortable to wear for some time.

Silicone butt plug from Lovehoney couples sex toys kit

The silicone butt plug takes 1 AAA battery, and offers 3 vibration speeds and 7 patterns. The vibrations are mediocre in strength and fairly buzzy, but the plug itself is of great quality. If you’re looking for a basic, slimline plug, the Best Night Ever kit has got you covered.

Silver Bullet Vibe

As far as I can tell, this is near identical to the silver bullet vibe that Lovehoney sells as a separate product… and that was the first sex toy I ever bought at the tender age of 18!

It’s made of hard ABS plastic and takes one AAA battery. Like the butt plug, it features 3 speeds and 7 patterns. I think it’s the same motor that’s in the butt plug, but the vibrations feel a little stronger. That’s probably because hard plastic doesn’t dampen the vibrations in the same way that silicone does.

Still not super powerful and still pretty buzzy, but overall not a bad first vibe for someone who doesn’t need very intense stimulation to get off. My first little Lovehoney bullet vibe served me well for a good couple of years!

Cock Ring

This silicone cock ring can be used by itself or with the bullet vibe. It features two rings, one to go around the penis and one behind the testicles. The rings are very slim and stretchy, allowing them to fit snugly but comfortably around most penises.

Silver bullet vibrator and silicone cock ring

The purpose of a cock ring is to restrict blood flow out of the penis, making the wearer’s erection harder and longer lasting. At first glance, I wasn’t sure this ring would do anything. However, it’s stronger than it looks!

Using it with the bullet vibe can provide some gentle additional stimulation which can be pleasurable for both the wearer and their partner.

Finger Vibe

The finger vibrator is the weakest aspect of this kit, for me. For one thing, the ring you use to put it on your finger is ridiculously small. I have pretty tiny hands and found it too tight and uncomfortable on any but my little finger.

Finger vibrator from Lovehoney sex toys couples kit

Second, the vibrations are truly pathetic. I didn’t know it was possible for something to be so buzzy it makes my clitoris itch, but here we are. There’s no way this would ever do anything for me except numb me out and make me grumpy.

Reversible Stroker

The reversible stroker provides two different sensations. It’s tight but stretchy, so whatever size your penis is you can expect a snug and pleasurable fit. You’ll need to use plenty of lube both inside the stroker and on the penis, or it could be uncomfortable.

The reversible stroker is made of a TPE style soft plastic which, while not toxic and safe for external play, is a porous material. That means it will degrade over time. You’ll probably get a few months out of it, but I recommend investing in a silicone stroker once you’ve established that you like the sensation!

Best Night Ever Kit: Overall Contents & Value

The Best Night Ever sex toy kit is a mixed bag. The items are of decent quality and made of body-safe materials. However, where it really falls down is in the strength (or lack thereof) of the motors.

Best Night Ever sex toys for couples kit

That being said, this kit retails for a pretty affordable £39.99, which is cheaper than buying all the products separately. If you’re new to toys and just trying things out to see what you like, this kit could be a good place to start. For people who are just looking for a few basic staples, it will probably serve your needs, too. If you’re after more powerful toys, though, skip the kit and invest in one powerful vibrator instead.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this and all my review posts. Want to support the blog? Signing up to my newsletter and buying me a coffee are great ways to do that!

[Toy Review] Satisfyer Partner Multifun

Ladies, gentlemen, gentlequeers, non-binary babes and all those in between… behold the worst designed sex toy I have ever had the misfortune of putting near my genitals.

I hate being mean about toys. I really do. I always try to find something positive to say. But here, I just… I just can’t.

Basic Details

The Satisfyer Multifun, a pink u-shaped vibrator
Anyone else hate this fucking colour? Yeah, me too.

Partner is a subsection of Satisfyer, a company famed for awesome toys like the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation and the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration. That’s why I was so surprised that this offering is such an absolute mess.

The Multifun is a U-shaped toy with two prongs that come almost together at the top. There are two very slight variations – the Multifun 1 is blue and the Multifun 2 is pink, and the ends of the prongs curve in very slightly different ways on each. Again, the difference is tiny.

It contains three motors, one in each of the prongs (which are operated together with a single button) and one in the base (operated separately with a second button). The toy is about 5 inches long in total, 3.5″ being the prongs and 1.5″ the base.

This toy is waterproof and USB rechargeable.

Safe isn’t enough.

The Satisfyer Multifun, a pink u-shaped vibrator
Okay, it’s body-safe, but I don’t want that to be the best thing about a toy!

When I ranted to Mr CK about how terrible this toy is, he pointed out that it’s at least a slight improvement on the terrible jelly cock ring I didn’t really review, in that it is body-safe. And yes, it is. It’s coated entirely in smooth silicone, which is phthalate free, non-porous and non-toxic.

But, as I explained to him, at this point I don’t see “body safe” as enough. I see it as a bare fucking minimum. At this point in my career, “this toy is body safe” is up there with “this food didn’t give me food poisoning.” It’s not a glowing recommendation, it’s a basic expectation.

So yes. This toy is body-safe. Can I say anything else positive about it? I’m honestly really struggling.

In Use

The Satisfyer Multifun, a pink u-shaped vibrator, hanging on a purple suction cup dildo stuck to a wall.
Feat. our shower wall and the Blush Ruse Jammy silicone dildo.

On the back of the box, the good folks at Satisfyer have helpfully included diagrams of different ways to use this toy on both a vulva and a penis. Being the dutiful and diligent toy testers that we are, we tried all of them (except the “hang it off your balls” one, because even Mr CK’s tolerance for doing weird shit to his genitals in the name of journalism has its limits).

They were all… equally terrible? Similarly nonsensical?

Pinching it around my clit was mildly painful for the two seconds it stayed on, and then merely annoying as it kept slipping off. Trying to stick it inside me made absolutely no sense whatsoever as it’s entirely the wrong shape to get anywhere near my G-spot, never mind provide pleasurable sensation. Trying to get it to hang off my nipple like a nipple clamp was merely hilarious (and a complete failure). Hanging it around Mr CK’s cock in various configurations produced no greater reaction than “well… that’s kind of in the way”. Even using it as a straightforward clitoral vibrator didn’t work, because the vibrations were so weak and buzzy that I literally Did Not Feel Anything.

I literally described the vibration quality of this toy to a fellow blogger friend as “akin to a single bee buzzing away on my clit. Not even a hive of bees. Just one.”

Other things I hate

The sound. Good God. This thing doesn’t just buzz, it WHINES.

The buttons. They’re small, fiddly and hard to press.

The ridiculously gendered marketing – “for men, women and couples”. (Ah yes, the three genders?) Seriously though, there are so many better ways to market that your product is suitable for different types of bodies. The diagrams of possible ways to use it with different genital configurations is more than enough. And EVERYTHING can be a toy for couples if you use it with a partner. And as if this wasn’t bad enough, it comes in two colours – baby blue (Multifun 1) and pastel pink (Multifun 2). You know, in case you don’t know which one is for you, they’ve colour coded them for you!

In conclusion…

I hate this toy. I hate it with a burning passion that surprises me. I have never hated a sex toy this much (no, not even the stupid jelly cockring/headlamp, because at least we KNEW that was going to be terrible, and that didn’t have a nearly $50 price tag).

I implore you, do not buy this toy. Your bits deserve better. For a pinpoint clitoral vibrator, get the Blush Nocturnal. For a decent vibrating cock ring, get the Hot Octopuss Atom. For a great toy to wear during penetrative sex, get the WeVibe Sync.

Satisfyer: I still love you. But you dropped the ball on this one. For God’s sake, do better, and test your products on actual humans before you mass produce them.

Thank you to Satisfyer for sending me this product to review. If for some reason you still want to try it, it retails for $49.95. This toy sucked but their other products are great! Affiliate links are used within this post.