[Toy Review] Satisfyer Partner Multifun

Ladies, gentlemen, gentlequeers, non-binary babes and all those in between… behold the worst designed sex toy I have ever had the displeasure of reviewing.

I hate being mean about toys. I really do. I always try to find something positive to say. But here, I just… I just can’t.

Basic Details

The Satisfyer Multifun, a pink u-shaped vibrator
Anyone else hate this fucking colour? Yeah, me too.

Partner is a subsection of Satisfyer, a company famed for awesome toys like the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation and the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration. That’s why I was so surprised that this offering is such an absolute mess.

The Multifun is a U-shaped toy with two prongs that come almost together at the top. There are two very slight variations – the Multifun 1 is blue and the Multifun 2 is pink, and the ends of the prongs curve in very slightly different ways on each. Again, the difference is tiny.

It contains three motors, one in each of the prongs (which are operated together with a single button) and one in the base (operated separately with a second button). The toy is about 5 inches long in total, 3.5″ being the prongs and 1.5″ the base.

This toy is waterproof and USB rechargeable.

Safe isn’t enough.

The Satisfyer Multifun, a pink u-shaped vibrator
Okay, it’s body-safe, but I don’t want that to be the best thing about a toy!

When I ranted to Mr CK about how terrible this toy is, he pointed out that it’s at least a slight improvement on the terrible jelly cock ring I didn’t really review, in that it is body-safe. And yes, it is. It’s coated entirely in smooth silicone, which is phthalate free, non-porous and non-toxic.

But, as I explained to him, at this point I don’t see “body safe” as enough. I see it as a bare fucking minimum. At this point in my career, “this toy is body safe” is up there with “this food didn’t give me food poisoning.” It’s not a glowing recommendation, it’s a basic expectation.

So yes. This toy is body-safe. Can I say anything else positive about it? I’m honestly really struggling.

In Use

The Satisfyer Multifun, a pink u-shaped vibrator, hanging on a purple suction cup dildo stuck to a wall.
Feat. our shower wall and the Blush Ruse Jammy silicone dildo.

On the back of the box, the good folks at Satisfyer have helpfully included diagrams of different ways to use this toy on both a vulva and a penis. Being the dutiful and diligent toy testers that we are, we tried all of them (except the “hang it off your balls” one, because even Mr CK’s tolerance for doing weird shit to his genitals in the name of journalism has its limits).

They were all… equally terrible? Similarly nonsensical?

Pinching it around my clit was mildly painful for the two seconds it stayed on, and then merely annoying as it kept slipping off. Trying to stick it inside me made absolutely no sense whatsoever as it’s entirely the wrong shape to get anywhere near my G-spot, never mind provide pleasurable sensation. Trying to get it to hang off my nipple like a nipple clamp was merely hilarious (and a complete failure). Hanging it around Mr CK’s cock in various configurations produced no greater reaction than “well… that’s kind of in the way”. Even using it as a straightforward clitoral vibrator didn’t work, because the vibrations were so weak and buzzy that I literally Did Not Feel Anything.

I literally described the vibration quality of this toy to a fellow blogger friend as “akin to a single bee buzzing away on my clit. Not even a hive of bees. Just one.”

Other things I hate

The sound. Good God. This thing doesn’t just buzz, it WHINES.

The buttons. They’re small, fiddly and hard to press.

The ridiculously gendered marketing – “for men, women and couples”. (Ah yes, the three genders?) Seriously though, there are so many better ways to market that your product is suitable for different types of bodies. The diagrams of possible ways to use it with different genital configurations is more than enough. And EVERYTHING can be a toy for couples if you use it with a partner. And as if this wasn’t bad enough, it comes in two colours – baby blue (Multifun 1) and pastel pink (Multifun 2). You know, in case you don’t know which one is for you, they’ve colour coded them for you!

In conclusion…

I hate this toy. I hate it with a burning passion that surprises me. I have never hated a sex toy this much (no, not even the stupid jelly cockring/headlamp, because at least we KNEW that was going to be terrible, and that didn’t have a nearly $50 price tag).

I implore you, do not buy this toy. Your bits deserve better. For a pinpoint clitoral vibrator, get the Blush Nocturnal. For a decent vibrating cock ring, get the Hot Octopuss Atom. For a great toy to wear during penetrative sex, get the WeVibe Sync.

Satisfyer: I still love you. But you dropped the ball on this one. For God’s sake, do better, and test your products on actual humans before you mass produce them.

Thank you to Satisfyer for sending me this product to review. If for some reason you still want to try it, it retails for $49.95. This toy sucked but their other products are great! Affiliate links are used within this post.


[Toy Review] The Lovely 2.0

The original Lovely came out several years ago after crowdfunding via in Indiegogo campaign. However, this toy only came onto my radar recently when I was asked to review the brand new Lovely 2.0.

Meet Lovely

The Lovely 2.0 is a vibrating silicone cock-ring. It’s a compact little toy, about three inches in length, with a stretchy ring to go around the penis and a larger base area that vibrates to stimulate the clitoris during penetrative penis-in-vagina sex. As it’s very stretchy, one size will fit the vast majority of penises.

The Lovely 2.0 is USB rechargeable and comes with a little docking station that you plug into any USB cable or outlet. It does not come with a cable, but most of us have several micro-USB cords lying around at this point anyway. The Lovely is completely waterproof, so you can use it if you like to get it on in the bath or shower! (Or hot tub. Or pool or lake. I’m not judging.)

My Lovely 2.0 is a nice deep green colour. It also comes in soft pink, if that’s more your style.

Body Safety and Hygiene Things

The Lovely 2.0 sex toy The Lovely 2.0 is made entirely of silicone, which as you’ll know is my favourite material for sex toys. It’s non-porous and completely body-safe. As it’s non-porous and waterproof, you can wash it with some warm water and gentle soap, or sterilise with a body-safe medical wipe. If you’re using barriers, take extra care when putting the ring on – toys can sometimes snag and tear condoms if you’re not careful.

App Functionality & User Interface

The app is the really cool thing about this product. You can change the settings between the ten different vibration patterns, and there’s also an easy-to-use slider feature that enables you to change the speed on each setting. Not only does the app mean you can change the setting without lots of fiddly button-pressing, it also has a couple of other fun additional features.

The “Desire Sensing” technology is fun. After sex, the users can share “feedback” and desires in the Lovely app, and it will give a series of personalised sex-related ideas and suggestions. The idea is a combination of this and the way you use the toy (settings, duration etc.) and the app “learns” what you both like in bed. The Lovely original was described as the “Fitbit of sex” and I think that description is quite apt here. You can even specify particular areas of interest – say, BDSM or threesomes – and your tips will be further personalised based upon your preferences. Just hit “daily tip” and you’ll get a sexy idea. Then rate the tips you get to help the app learn even more about your desires, likes and dislikes.

When you sign up to the app, you need to sync it to the toy – this uses Bluetooth and takes about two minutes – and then add in your partner (if you wish) via their email address.

I don’t really use or love the “calories burned” function personally, and think it could be triggering to folks with a history of disordered eating or body-image struggles.

You could use the Lovely 2.o without the app if you don’t have a smartphone or don’t like the idea of your phone keeping such intimate data about you. The Lovely 2.0 minus app operates on a simple one-button interface in the centre of the toy. You hold the button down to switch the toy on, press repeatedly to cycle through settings, and hold it down again to switch off. That said, this is a bit fiddly to do when you’re in the middle of sex and requires pausing to get your hand between your bodies and press buttons. It’s also much harder to tune the setting to exactly where you want it. On the whole, the app enhances this product’s functionality a lot and I don’t really recommend trying to use it without.

So what did I think?

I really like a lot of things about this product. It’s one of the best app functionalities for a sex toy I’ve seen. I like its compact size and the way it fits between bodies during sex. Unfortunately, where it really fell down for me was on the level of power. I’m a self-confessed power queen, and even on the highest level the Lovely just wasn’t strong enough for me. I enjoyed it for some extra clitoral stimulation during sex, but when I was ready to orgasm I found myself reaching for something stronger.

Final thoughts – do I recommend it?

If you’re looking for a wearable vibrating toy to use during PIV intercourse, the Lovely 2.0 has a lot to recommend it. I cannot recommend it if you’re someone who needs really powerful vibrations to get you off – as I said above, it’s not super strong. But if you’re into gentler vibrations or are just looking for a bit of extra clitoral stimulation during sex, this could be a great choice for you. The app and its additional features are a big part of what take this product from “fine” to “good” for me!

I particularly suggest this toy to new couples or those who are new to exploring more adventurous sex – it’s a great way to share more and learn more about each others’ desires in a fun and low pressure way.

The Lovely 2.0 retails for $139 (about £108) and ships worldwide.

Thanks to Lovely Inc for sponsoring this review and providing me with the product to test. All opinions, as always, are my own! Pics of the toy are by me. App screenshot is property of Lovely Inc. If this review was helpful to you, please consider buying me a coffee to say thanks.