A Girl and Her Doxy: A Love Story

It’s hardly a secret to anyone at this point that I’m madly in love with my Doxy massager and will wax lyrical to anyone who will listen about how it’s the best sex toy in the universe, hands down, bar none.

For the remaining three people on the internet who don’t know what a Doxy is, it’s a large, wand-style vibrator that plugs into the mains. It’s a great big beast of a thing with vibrations more powerful than any I’ve felt anywhere else. In my opinion, and die-hard proponents of the original may disagree, it’s everything that was good about the Original Magic Wand… only better.

I own a lot of sex toys – a perk of being a blogger and also generally a bit obsessed. But I still find myself reaching for this one time and time and time again whenever it’s I don’t have to review anything, I just want a nice orgasm time.

So why do I love this toy quite so damn much?

1. It was a gift from my beloved.

My Doxy was the first gift Mr CK ever gave me. He got it for me for my 25th birthday, which was the month after we started dating. He gave it to me at a CM/nf event we went to a few days before my birthday. At that same event, while we sat on the squishy pouffe things in the social space, enjoying aftercare and snacks, he asked me to be his life partner.

Yeah, this thing has some of the best memories attached to it.

2. It’s powerful as fuck.

The Doxy is the world’s most powerful wand vibrator. Capable of up to 9,000 RPM, it provides a nice deep penetrating vibration with varying speeds (though anyone who has been lucky enough to see me use mine will be aware that I ramp it up to top speed immediately and keep it there until I come.)

3. It’s body-safe.

The head of the Doxy original is made from non-porous medical grade PVC (which contains no pthalates or other nasties) while the newer Die Cast model has a silicone head, which you will know is always my preferred toy material. And despite the shape and size of the head, it actually works very well with a condom. I always advise using a barrier if you’re sharing the toy with someone who is not a fluid-bonded lover.

4. Their customer service is amazing.

After about a year we experienced a slight issue with the motor in my Doxy. Mr CK wrote to the company and they immediately replaced the toy with a new one, which also happened to be a slightly upgraded model. No problems at all. They genuinely care about their customers, and get A-pluses all around for service.

5. It’s reliable.

This toy is literally the only thing, including my own fingers, that can give me an explosive clitoral orgasm more-or-less every single time I use it, and in less than ten minutes.

6. It’s versatile

The Doxy has a wide range of intensity settings and can be set at whatever level the user desires. It’s clearly designed for vulvas but can be just as effectively used on people with penises. (Yes, many cock-owners get the hell off from vibrations!) You can also, if you’re feeling

7. It comes in purple.

Purple, y’all! What’s not to love? (If for some reason you don’t like purple, it also comes in white, black and pink.)

Get yours: the Doxy is available at Lovehoney, Peepshow Toys, SheVibe and Stockroom.

This post contains affiliate links and if you use them to make a purchase, I make a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Image in post header is property of Doxy and reproduced with permission.

Ask Amy #2: “First Visit to a Sex Shop”

I love today’s question because I remember being in this reader’s position not all that many years ago. Sex shops can feel intimidating when you’ve never been in one before. We’ve all been the nervous first-timer at some point.

“How do I behave at a sex shop!?”

“Hi Amy,

Hope you don’t think this is a stupid question! I’m a 35 year old mother and I’m recently single after coming out of a 12 year marriage. My ex husband was super vanilla but now that I’m on my own I want to try using sex toys. I’ve heard that it’s much better to go to a shop rather than buy online so that you can see and feel the toys before choosing one, but my secret is I’ve never been in a sex shop before! I don’t know what to expect or how to behave. Can I ask questions? Will the staff think it’s really weird that I’m a mum in my mid 30s who hasn’t ever used a vibrator before? Any advice would be really helpful.”

– Nervous Newbie

Hey Nervous! What a great question. It’s not at all weird. Loads of people have never been to a sex shop and are nervous at the idea. Firstly, congratulations on deciding you want to explore your sexuality more after finding yourself single. That’s a great gift you can give yourself which will improve both your solo sex life and any partnered sex you might have in the future.

Visiting a sex shop really doesn’t need to be scary. Promise! There’s just a few things you need to know to make your visit as smooth and – yes – enjoyable as possible.

First, research and pick a reputable store. As you’re in London, I can’t recommend better than the utterly wonderful Sh! Women’s Store. There’s also Coco De Mer, which is a real treat to visit but extremely high-end – basically the Prada of sex shops, with price tags to match. Any woman-owned and run, independent sex shop is likely to be better than a mainstream chain store. It’s honestly worth traveling to get to a really good store and there are a few in the major cities throughout the country. (If you must go to a chain store, Simply Pleasure isn’t bad but sadly they sell a lot of toxic and porous toys in amongst the good stuff, so do your research first.)

What you’ll find at a good store is a friendly, welcoming and non-judgemental environment. The staff typically choose to work in these shops because they’re sex positive and passionate about sexual pleasure and health. I’ve never met a sex shop worker for whom it was “just a retail gig.” I absolutely promise you the staff won’t think you’re weird for having never bought toys before, so feel free to say “I’m new to toys and looking for something to start with.”

So, ask questions! Ask for advice! (Not “what’s your favourite?” which is not only invasive but also a redundant question as all bodies are different. Think more along the lines of, “what’s a good anal toy for a beginner?” “I like strong vibrations with variable patterns, what do you recommend?” “I’m looking for an insertable toy that’s not too rigid.”)

On that note: think about what you might like to get before you go in. Are you more interested in vaginal penetration, clitoral stimulation, or a mix? What about anal? Think about what you want to experiment with, what your body likes and doesn’t like, and – very important – how much you want to spend. If you can afford it, it’s worth spending a bit more to get a really good toy that’s well-made, body safe and from a reputable manufacturer.

Please read up on materials and get something that’s body-safe and non porous. Dangerous Lilly has a tonne of valuable advice on safe toys. It’s okay not to know exactly what you’re looking for (that’s partly why you ask for advice!) but having at least a general knowledge of how your pleasure works is a good starting point. (I think I need to do a whole post on picking out your first sex toy.)

Don’t be afraid to pick things up and play with them (in your hand, not your pants, obviously!) The vast majority of shops will have a sample of each toy out of the box so you can feel it, test the vibrations for strength, see how you like the materials against your skin etc. Play as much as you like. Take your time. A good retailer won’t hurry you.

As far as any other etiquette, it’s all super obvious. Don’t hit on the staff – they probably love the job but they’re also at work and no-one wants to field unwanted come-ons at work. Don’t ask the staff personal questions about their own sex life or toy use. Keep your clothes on. Don’t test anything out on your genitals. Don’t be weird or judgy about toys or sex acts that aren’t your thing. (Think, for example, “I don’t think what would do it for me,” rather than “ewwww, why would anyone do that?”) Honestly, it’s no more complicated than being respectful, polite and behaving in ways that are generally acceptable in a public space, albeit one where it’s totally okay – encouraged! – to have frank conversations about sexuality.

One final pro tip: if you’re nervous, try going at a time when it’s likely to be quieter. Mornings are typically quieter than afternoons/evenings, and weekdays are quieter than weekends. This way the staff are likely to have more time to devote to you and you won’t feel so self-conscious examining the toys in front of other shoppers.

Good luck!

Dear readers! If you’d like me to answer your question, get in touch and I’ll tackle your issue on the blog – completely anonymously of course.

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[Toy Review] Lovehoney Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator

This toy has a lot to recommend it. I’m a big fan of Lovehoney – they mainly avoid gimmicks, have a solid returns policy, and provide good quality toys at reasonable prices, with quick and discreet delivery. I bought my first ever sex toy (a tiny bullet vibe) from them nearly a decade ago and I still go to them for the majority of my sexy needs.

The back of the Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator in purple

The Desire Luxury Clitoral Vibrator is a nice simple little clitoral vibrator. It’s USB rechargeable and waterproof. The front has 3 buttons – on/turn up, setting change, and off/turn down. It’s around 3 inches long and is inflexible but very soft. It also comes in an attractive and discreet case.

The front and buttons of the Lovehoney Desire Clitoral Vibrator in purpleThe end curves to a soft point which is perfect for those who prefer their clitoral stimulation direct and focused, or you can also use the rounder end for a more generalised sensation. For me, it actually worked best when I pressed it side on to my clit, but your mileage – and body – may vary.

The Desire Clitoral Vibrator has 8 different modes or “patterns” of vibration. As usual, I preferred the constant vibration turned on high, but it’s worth experimenting to see what works best for you. The ramp-up-then-back-down setting is perfect for a slow tease!

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
This vibrator retails at £59.99. This will definitely be out of some budgets, but it’s worth spending for a good toy if you can afford it. The quality is in line with the price.

Materials: ★★★★★
The Desire Clitoral Vibe is made of beautiful soft silicone with a matte finish and contains no latex or phthalates, which means it’s completely body-safe as well as feeling absolutely gorgeous.

Appearance: ★★★★
I can’t fault the design – it’s simple and stylish The whole Desire range has a sexy and stylish purple and black colour scheme.

Ease of Use: ★★★★★
Very light, ergonomically designed and fits well in my tiny hand. This is a real plus as I sometimes struggle to hold and manipulate bigger toys for the 20+ minutes it can take me to get off. The buttons are easy to press and it’s so self-explanatory that I haven’t even opened the instruction booklet.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
Easy to clean with a sterile wipe (available from medical suppliers.) It’s waterproof too, so you can clean it with soap and warm water.  It’s not really condom-compatible, so I recommend sterilising it before sharing with a partner. You could also use a barrier like a dental dam if it’s easier.

Versatility: ★★★
The Desire Clitoral Vibe comes with 8 functions and the constant vibration speed can be turned up or down. It can be positioned against your clitoris in different ways depending on where you like your vibrations focussed. It’s waterproof, so you can use it in the bath or shower if that’s your thing. Not suitable for internal use.

Intensity: ★★★
This is the main place this toy falls down. If it had been more powerful, I would have loved to give it five stars. That said, it did get me off, it just took longer than it would with a higher powered vibe. Good if you have a sensitive clit and find the Doxys and Hitachis of the world too overwhelming.

Overall Score: ★★★★
Overall, I enjoyed using this toy and I’m keen to see more from the Desire range. If you’re looking for a reliable and body-safe mid-intensity vibrator, look no further. Serious power lovers should look elsewhere.

This post contains affiliate links and if you buy through one, I make a small commission. All opinions are, and will always be, my own.

[Toy Review] Sexy Liberation Lipstick Bullet Vibe

I absolutely love the idea of Sexy Liberation, a company that not only sells sex toys but also offers a small selection for free (for those outside the US, you have to pay shipping, but it’s pretty reasonable.)

They say:

“Many people don’t have access to or haven’t been exposed to the exciting world of sexual exploration, we want to help people, especially women, by being a stepping stone. Personal experimentation with sex aids can help women discover and embrace their own sources of pleasure.  And a woman who knows herself sexually will feel more confident talking honestly with her partner about her needs and desires. If you are woman in a relationship that is having trouble getting off, we are here for you.”

And for that, they are to be applauded.

Unfortunately, there’s little point giving out free toys if the toys themselves are absolute crap. This fucking thing is laughably weak, annoyingly buzzy, aesthetically stupid (I don’t need my sex toys to look like a fucking lipstick!) and overall just completely pointless. Not to mention it kept popping open and the battery falling out!

Honestly, even if it’s free, just don’t bother. You deserve better! Your genitals deserve better! Get a basic vibrator from Lovehoney on one of their sale days instead. I persevered through several attempts to get myself off with this useless thing, even watching some super-hot porn, but in the end me and my numbed-out, pissed off clit just had to give up.

The Sexy Liberation Lipstick Bullet Vibe, a small bullet vibrator designed to look like a pink lipstick.
Plus points: it’s discreet, it’s quiet, it’s ostensibly waterproof, and it was free.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price:
If you don’t qualify to get the toy for free, it’s $12.99 (about £10.) But even this small amount of money is way too much to spend when weighed against how useless it is. You could spend the same or even slightly less and have a chance of getting something that might actually get you off.

Materials: ★★★
It’s pretty clearly ABS plastic, but for some reason is described on the site in the vaguest and most uninformative terms possible. It’s described as a “firm, non-silicone plastic.” What the fuck does that mean? ABS plastic is at least non-porous and non-toxic, but Sexy Liberation are losing points here for not

Appearance:
It looks like a lipstick in a horrible colour. For saying this company is supposedly about “liberation,” the lipstick thing to me just screams of “you need to be ashamed of owning sex toys and disguise them to look like other things!” I’m not here for it. Also it’s pink.

Ease of Use: ★★
It’s super light and operates on a simple on-off twist motion. Unfortunately, if you turn it too far or just very slightly wrong, the battery pops out.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★
The Lipstick Bullet can be wiped clean – I recommend a body-safe sterile wipe from medical suppliers. It’s apparently waterproof (not sure how far I’d trust that claim though, given the overall lack of structural integrity and tendency to fall apart in my fucking hand.) Luckily, you won’t need to clean it as the odds of anyone using this thing more than once are frankly close to zero.

Versatility:
This toy has exactly two functions: on and off. The lipstick shape means you have a narrow edge for precision stimulation and a wider side for more general vibrations, but honestly it’s so small and weak enough that I can’t bring myself to care about pinpoint or broad stimulation.

Intensity:
Pathetic to the point of useless. Buzzier than an entire hive of bees. If my clitoris could talk, it would be yelling “WHAT IS THE GODDAMN POINT OF THIS!?”

Overall Score:
Unfortunately, though I love the idea of this scheme, I am going to throw this toy straight in the trash as soon as I’ve stopped yelling on the internet about how terrible it is.

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[Toy Review] So Divine Wicked Game Wand

My Wicked Game wand by So Divine was a last-minute win at the end-of-Eroticon raffle, and I was excited to try it out as wand style vibrators are always a firm favourite with me. This lovely little thing was no exception.

The So Divine Wicked Game, a purple magic wand style vibrator with a bulbous head and slightly curved body. Pictured boxed, left, and unboxed, right,

First, some facts…

The Wicked Game is a small-ish wand compared to the heft of the traditional wand design. It measures 9.5 inches from end to end, and has a gentle curve – that’s because it’s double ended, effectively making it both a clitoral wand and a G-spot vibrator in one. (Though, sadly, both cannot vibrate at the same time). The head is 1.5 inches across and the widest part of the insertable end is about the same – this is not one for girth lovers! This toy is waterproof and USB-rechargeable.

My experience…

I tried the Wicked Game out at the club with Mr CK, with him using it on me. I hadn’t had an orgasm for about 3 days before this session, but I’m not convinced that makes too much of a difference, apart from possibly making me get off quicker than I would otherwise have. My cunt likes what it likes; it just gets a little more receptive when it’s been a while.

What I love about this toy is that it’s really versatile. Both ends vibrate (though not, as I mentioned, at the same time. You have to pick one or the other!) so you can use it for either external stimulation or as an insertable. All in one toy! Nice, no? It also has ten different vibration modes – 3 constant speed settings and 7 pulsing patterns.

I don’t really like patterns of vibration – give me the constant setting any day! That said, some of the Wicked Game’s patterns were surprisingly not-terrible. My favourite is the pulse setting that ramps slowly up, hits a peak and then drops down again. I love being teased (or teasing myself) into a frenzy and this setting does exactly that. For a quicker orgasm, though, the highest of the 3 constant speeds is definitely my preferred setting.

Now this is where things get really interesting. Mr CK made me come with this toy – twice in an afternoon – really easily. Normally, someone else getting me to come is pretty difficult (possible, but difficult,) even if they’re using a toy I really love. Again: I have a picky cunt.

I love my Doxy more than life – it is my favourite toy and one of my favourite possessions, period. But I come a lot more reliably when I use it on myself than when someone else holds it. Yet the Wicked Game is less powerful, but for some reason seems much more effective in giving me orgasms when in someone else’s hands.

My theory is thus: the Doxy is SUPER CRAZY POWERFUL, to the point that if it’s in the wrong spot – even slightly – it can become unpleasant or even painful extremely quickly. When I’m holding it myself, I know exactly what my body needs and can react accordingly, but my partners – wonderful and attuned to me though they are – do not actually live in my head. Or my clitoris. The Wicked Game, though pretty powerful itself, is significantly gentler than the mains-powered wands and so I can squirm against it, adjust it if needed, and let my partner know if it needs moving to a different spot before it becomes painful or unpleasant and throws me off my “groove.”

In short, I think this toy might be the sweet spot where “powerful enough to make me come” meets “gentle enough to have someone else use on me without discomfort.” I would absolutely recommend this for any vulva-owning person who likes mid-intensity vibrations. I would particularly suggest the Wicked Game as a perfect first vibrator because the experience is so very customisable. Don’t know if you like internal or external stimulation, hard persistent vibrations or soft pulsing? No problem – with this, you can try them all out with one toy.

Incidentally: it’s also one of those rare toys that advertises itself as quiet and is actually quiet. I gave up caring about people knowing I’m wanking years ago, but this feature might be of interest to those of you with roommates and/or family at home.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★
At £54.99 RRP it’s not a steal and may be outside of some budgets, but it’s still cheaper than some of the really high-end toys on the market and with the amount of functions it comes with, it’s well worth the price. Weirdly enough, you can buy them from Ocado grocery delivery service in the UK, which just cracks me the fuck up. So Divine products also come with a two-year warranty.

Materials: ★★★★★
Lovely silicon. Soft, smooth and SAFE. Gorgeous.

Appearance: ★★★★★
It’s a lovely, classy and stylish looking toy that comes in pink or purple colour options. Mine, of course, is purple. (My understanding is that the pink version is called Sweetest Taboo instead of Wicked Game, but is functionally identical.)

Ease of Use: ★★★★
The buttons are a little hard to press – especially in the, uh, throes of passion – but apart from that, the controls are pretty intuitive. There is an on/off button and buttons to cycle through the settings and switch between the internal and external settings. Nice and simple. Plus it’s light, so easy to hold – a good choice for someone who wants a wand style toy but would find holding a really heavy one difficult.

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★★★
Easy to wipe clean between uses – I recommend a body-safe sterile wipe available in bulk from medical suppliers. It’s waterproof, too, so can be submerged for a more thorough cleaning with gentle soap and warm water. For safer sex purposes if you share your toys, it’s condom-friendly in shape and material.

Versatility: ★★★★★
The Wicked Game has two ends, one insertable and one external, and ten different settings – 3 speeds and seven pulse patterns. Totally versatile depending on what you like and what you’re in the mood for today. It’s also waterproof, if wanking in the bath is your thing. Pro-tip: though it’s designed for vulvas, many penis-owners really enjoy vibrations on the head or shaft of their cock. Mr CK heartily endorses this toy for that purpose!

Intensity: ★★★★
I can’t give this five starts because it is noticeably less powerful than other toys on the market. Even though it’s not as intense as I typically like my vibes, though, it does get major props for hitting the sweet spot between “meh, not intense enough” and “DON’T MOVE IT A MILLIMETRE OR IT WILL HURT.”

Overall Score: ★★★★
Yeah, I love this vibe! My main issue with it is wishing the head and shaft could vibrate at the same time, which would open up some interesting partnered play possibilities. Other than that, though, it’s a ringing endorsement from me!

Go get yourself one.

I won this toy in a raffle at Eroticon. Affiliate links are contained within this post. All opinions, as ever, are my own. Product images by So Divine and reproduced here with permission. If you’d like to support me, please consider becoming a sexy patron or buying me a virtual coffee.

[Toy Review] The Ruby Glow

UPDATE 23.12.2019: The original Ruby Glow has been discontinued. A review of the new Ruby Glow Dusk will follow in due course.

I wasn’t going to do sex toy reviews when I stared doing this blog. But… I guess I’m doing toy reviews now! Let’s dive in, shall we?

To begin with, there are two things you need to know about me. The first is that I know what I like and, when it comes to sex toys, what I like is lots and lots of hard vibrations right on that spot on my clit. For this reason, I haven’t bought a new vibrator since my amazing partner gifted me a Doxy nearly two years ago. The second is that I am endlessly curious and a bit of a geek. Sp of something is a bit quirky, a bit different, or a bit “ooh, I’ve never seen one of those before,” I have to try it, especially if it relates to sex.

Is there any wonder, then, that when I encountered the new Ruby Glow (designed by Tabitha Rayne and made by the good folks at Rocks Off) at Eroticon 2017 I simply had to get one?

The Ruby is, essentially, a ride-on external vibrator. It’s hands-free, non-penetrative and can be used through clothing or directly on the body. It has ten different settings and dual motors to control the vibrating vaginal/perineal mound and the clitoral stimulator, which can be used together or separately.

I first tried the Ruby Glow sitting on the edge of my (epic, super-king) bed at the end of a good fuck with my primary partner, Mr CK. There were some pleasant vibrations coming from the toy but nothing that was going to have be screaming in orgasmic bliss any time soon. The problem, we quickly identified, was that the surface of the bed wasn’t rigid enough for me to be able to grind against the toy in a satisfying way.

“What if you tried it on my desk chair?” Mr CK asked. And that’s exactly what I did. Laptop in front of me with some of my favourite erotica open, I put the toy between my legs and set it going. I tried a few settings. My favourite, by far, is the highest of the 3 constant vibration settings on both motors – but, as with anything else in sex, your mileage may very well vary.

I readjusted the toy a few times to get it on my clit in just the right spot, but once it was in place I could grind against it and fuck it easily, without needing to use my hands – keeping them free to browse through the delicious porn on my screen..

I’m not, typically, a girl who comes quickly from clitoral stimulation, but I do have my biggest and most satisfying orgasms this way if I persevere. It took me about 25 minutes to get off with the Ruby Glow, and it was a deliciously slow and drawn out orgasm with a long build-up. Yum!

This toy is perfect for me particularly because I like to read erotica (typically on a screen but occasionally in a physical book) while I masturbate. Anyone who has done this will understand the fine art that is balancing a book/laptop/other device in one hand, while keeping the other free for finger action or holding a toy. The Ruby Glow beautifully solves this problem. It’s also ideal for anyone who writes erotica and finds themselves getting turned on while working, anyone who engages in cyber sex and wants to wank and type at the same time, and anyone with joint or mobility issues that make using a hand-held toy difficult. In short, if you’re a person with a vulva who enjoys vibrations, I recommend you give this toy a try.

My Ratings (all scores out of 5★)

Price: ★★★★★
At £39.99 it’s comparable in price to many of the far less luxurious – not to mention less safe – jelly and plastic toys on the market, and more affordable than many of their higher end counterparts.

Materials: ★★★★★
It’s made of absolutely gorgeous, silky soft, body-safe silicon.

Appearance: ★★★★
It’s reasonably pretty and it looks like a little saddle, which makes me giggle. And for someone new to sex toys, it looks a lot less threatening and scary than a giant wand or “rabbit” style vibe. It even gets a pass on being pink (a bit of a bugbear for me) because it matches the name and it’s not an obnoxious, ouch-my-eyes neon.

Ease of Use: ★★★
It takes some experimenting to get the angle and setting that works for your body, and you may have to try it on one or two different surfaces or chairs to find out what works for you. Worth persevering for, though? Definitely!

Ease of care & cleaning: ★★★
The Ruby is not waterproof, which makes it a little more difficult to clean. The best way is to use a body-safe sterile wipe available from medical suppliers.

Versatility: ★★★★
With two individually-controllable motors and ten different speed and pulse settings, an easily customisable wank is yours with the Ruby.

Intensity: ★★★
Full disclosure here: I like my vibrations intense. I’ve found myself even wanting to turn my beloved Doxy, “the world’s most powerful massage vibrator,” up one notch higher than it goes. For this reason I can only give the Ruby Glow three stars on this score, as the power isn’t quite where I would have liked it to be. I completely acknowledge that not everyone wants power power power, and at the end of the day the Ruby Glow still gave me a glorious orgasm!

Overall Score: ★★★★
Cute, safe, innovative and effective! Could have done with a bit more power, and not the quietest. A great addition to your collection.

(All pictures in this post used by kind permission of the Rocks Off Team. Affiliate links are contained within this post and if you use them, I make a small commission at no extra cost to you.)